


It Was Always You

by SorryICantBeWhatYouNeed



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/M, M/M, Michael Being an Idiot, Pining, Slow Build
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2016-09-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:57:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 38
Words: 277,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3238880
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SorryICantBeWhatYouNeed/pseuds/SorryICantBeWhatYouNeed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They really just want to make it through high school unscathed. But love and crushes always want to fuck everything up don’t they?<br/>Gavin has been in love with Michael since the day they met in elementary school, but Michael, bless his heart, is just too god damn oblivious.<br/>Geoff just wants to be with the pretty girl from his art class forever, but sometimes life is a bitch.<br/>Ray doesn’t really know what he wants yet, but if its one of his attractive best friends then maybe he’ll just say ‘fuck it’ and give it a shot.<br/>Ryan is definitely crushing on Ray, but he can’t let everyone know that. Otherwise they’ll make a huge fucking deal over it. And Ryan doesn’t need that kind of attention, not one bit.<br/>Jack is pretty content being by himself and watching his idiot friends fall over themselves in love, that is until a cute exchange student from Australia transfers into their school Junior year. Oh well. He can wait it out.<br/>Michael is 100% straight thank you very much. So why does he get jealous when he sees his best friend getting too close with other guys? It’s cause Gavin’s his best friend right? Totally understandable.<br/>They’re probably all fucked.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“Gavin, what the fuck!” Michael screamed tackling the laughing boy next to him to the ground. The squawking boy under him tried to wiggle away but was effectively pinned by the raging red head.

“Michael, get off!” Gavin whined.

“We’re on the same team you dumb ass!” Michael started tickling Gavin while he bucked and squirmed under him.

“Oh just kiss and make up already,” Geoff called from his seat on the couch behind them. Ray pretended to gag while Jack and Ryan chuckled quietly as the scene played out. It was the annual movie night that the six held each and every Friday. This week they found themselves in Jack’s basement, pizza laid out on the coffee table, soda cans strewn everywhere and the six boys on various items of furniture.

“Shut up,” Michael growled lifting himself off of his best friend.

“I think that’s enough gaming for the night. Wanna watch a movie?” Jack, the peacemaker, asked. When everyone approved Jack put in the first movie he could find, Fast and Furious, but by the time the opening credits were over they were already lost in conversation.

“You guys what do I do?” Geoff started. “There’s this really pretty girl in my art class and she’s just perfect,”

“We’re only a week into the school year and you’ve already met someone?” Ray inquired.

The boys had just finished their first week of Freshman year and while they all managed to have at least one class with a friend, they had a much harder time adjusting than they thought.

“Her names Griffon, she’s crazy talented man. She sits next to me and she’s so funny and smart an-“

“Perfect?” Michael finished snickering.

“Yeah, dude,” Geoff was almost in a trance, just thinking about her.

“Then why not go for it?” Ryan asked, standing on his way to the fridge. “If you’re interested why not make it happen?”

“I can’t just ask her out man! She’s way out of my league.”

“Yeah, and so is every other girl on the planet,” Gavin added, accepting Ray’s high five and shrinking back at the glare he received.

“I’ve never dated before what the fuck am I supposed to do?” Geoff grabbed a blanket and dramatically threw it over himself.

“How about, you walk up to her, say ‘Hey you’re cute and I wanna have your babies,’ she says yes, you get married, have a couple kids, the end,”

“Ray, that was the dumbest idea I’ve ever heard,”

“Worth a shot man,” the youngest boy shrugged.

“I bet you ten bucks she’ll say yes,” Gavin said.

“Doubt it,”

“Geoff stop being a girl and ask her out, Jesus,” Michael snapped.

“Fine, I’ll ask her out on Tuesday,”

“Why Tuesday? Why not as soon as you see her on Monday?” Jack asked.

“I’ve only known her a week guys, Monday is my last day to ‘woo’ her,” Geoff said, adding jazz hands and grinning.

“You’re a loser,” Michael commented, rolling his eyes.

“Whatever man, I’m gonna be a loser with a girlfriend by next Friday… hopefully,” he said.

The group laughed and turned their attention back to the movie on the screen, now half way over, they were no longer interested and seeing as it was now two in the morning the six of them started setting out their pillows and blankets and settling down for the night.

“Goodnight assholes,” Geoff called shutting the light off and making his way over to the recliner. Ray and Ryan always shared the couch while Jack would take the love seat and Gavin and Michael always took the floor.

“Goodnight my boi,” Gavin whispered smiling at Michael as he pulled his blanket up over him.

“Night Gavvy,” Michael smiled back.

Gavin lay awake for another hour or so, doing what he did every week, watching Michael’s sleeping body and imaging what it would be like to be in his arms, the arms that were wound tightly around Michael’s blanket. Gavin sighed before turning over and shutting his eyes, drifting into a dreamless sleep.

~~~

“So uh Griffon,” Geoff started, “would you maybe, uh, will you go out with me?” Geoff was shaking the entire time. Griffon looked up from her carving and stared at Geoff for a long moment.

“Or not, that’s fine too, I’m sorr-“

“Geoff, shut up. Of course I will,” she giggled.

Geoff froze for a moment before locking eyes with her. “Really?” he must’ve been hearing things, right?

“Yeah silly, you’re the only interesting person around here. I’m not passing that up for anything,” she smiled, but before Geoff could say anything more the bell rang and the teacher was calling the kids to their assigned seats.

Geoff wandered to the back of the classroom in a daze, she actually said yes. The rest of the class passed by in a blur for Geoff, his painting came out like shit, but he didn’t really mind, it’s not like they would be graded on the final outcome, only the effort.

By the time the bell rang and he had made his way to History he had only just come to terms with the fact that he would be going on a date with Griffon. Beautiful Griffon. He was suddenly in a crisis, unsure of what they would do and when. He was extremely thankful when he saw that Ryan was already in class.

“I did it man, I’ve got a date with Griffon,” he announced as he pulled out a chair and sat down.

“When?” Ryan asked impressed.

“I don’t know yet,” Geoff whispered. Ryan stared at him and shrugged as their teacher walked in and started with some boring lecture about the industrial revolution. It wasn’t long before a note made itself over to Geoff’s desk. When he looked at his friend beside him, Ryan refused to meet his eyes. Geoff turned his attention back to the note and waited till the teacher had turned back to the board before unfolding it.

_What about Saturday afternoon, you guys can go to a movie?_

Geoff scribbled out a reply and sent it back.

_Seems kinda lame doesn’t it?_

Ryan rolled his eyes when he read it and shook his head.

_Dude you’re 14, it’s okay to be lame on a first date._

Geoff shrugged in agreement before attempting to respond, however a pissed off voice stopped him, “Mr. Ramsey, would you happen to have the answer?”

Geoff whipped his head up and noticed that the entire class was now staring at him. He looked at the board to see if he could guess the question, but came up blank.

“No sir I don’t have the answer,” he calmly spoke looking down at his desk.

“Pay attention,” was the only response he got.

“Yes sir, sorry,” he put the note in his back pack and stared intently at the board for the rest of the class, writing down every word the teacher uttered.

Finally the bell rang, signaling the end of class and the start of lunch. Geoff packed his bag and practically ran out of there with Ryan right behind him. He was suddenly so excited to tell his friends that he had done it. He had gotten the girl, he was so happy to see all his friends already at their table that he ran straight past the line, ignoring his stomach growling in protest. “I did it!” He yelled slamming his hands down on the table causing Gavin to squeak and lean into Michael for safety.

“What did you do?” Lindsay asked from her seat across from him.

“Well, I’ve gotten myself a date with the lovely Griffon,” he announced earning cheers from Jack and Michael and some obnoxious cat calling from Ray.

“Congrats Geoff,” Gavin said patting the boy on the back.

“You owe me ten bucks Gavo,” Geoff reminded him.

“Wot! No I don’t!” Gavin protested.

“You did bet him ten bucks Gavin,” Jack argued.

“To be fair though, Geoff never actually agreed to it,” Michael countered carelessly flinging an arm around Gavin.

“Thanks boi,” Gavin mumbled leaning into the embrace.

“Whatever, I don’t care about the money; I’ve got a date with Griffon,”

“You’ve already said that Geoff,” Ray rolled his eyes. Geoff sighed dreamily and excused himself to go grab lunch.

“Good for him,” Tina said before turning back to Lindsay and continuing their previous conversation.

“Wanna come over after school today Michael?” Gavin asked.

“I’d love to Gavvy,” the red head responded before turning back to Ray. Soon Geoff returned and after some more questions from the girls ‘How’d you ask?’ and ‘What did she say?’ and some more teasing from the guys ‘Geoff’s growing up right before our eyes!’ and ‘You’ve become a man now Geoffrey,’ things went back to normal.

~~~

When the final bell of the day rang Gavin made his way to his locker with Ray talking about the new Call of Duty game that was coming out in only two weeks! They had just turned a corner when Gavin saw Michael, the two grinned when they made eye contact but before Gavin could run up to him, he was shoved unexpectedly into the lockers next to him.

“Watch where you’re going,” a rough voice snarled from above him. Gavin didn’t need to look up from his scattered belongings to know who it was. Matt Bragg, quarterback of the football team and best friend of Jeremy Dooley. The two had been tormenting Gavin since childhood; to be honest Gavin was a little surprised that he hadn’t seen him at all last week. He had almost forgotten about them after the summer.

“Fuck off Bragg,” Michael snapped appearing in front of Gavin in an instant. Ray crouched down next to Gavin and helped pick his books and things up while Michael blocked them from the bully’s eyes.

Matt simply rolled his eyes and stalked off into the flow of students heading for the front doors of the building. Matt and Jeremy never wanted to mess with Michael, only Gavin and it had been that way since Gavin’s first day of school. Gavin knew they were harmless, but it still got on his damn nerves that he couldn’t defend himself.

“Thanks Michael,” Gavin mumbled, taking Michael’s outstretched hand and letting the stronger boy pull him to his feet.

“Always Gav,” Michael responded.

Always. It had sort of become a thing for them since the day they met.

~~~

_Starting in the middle of the school year was always hard. Everyone already had their friends and groups and teachers already had their favorites. For Gavin, his first day of first grade was already horrible. It wasn’t even snack time yet and he had already come across the ‘bullies’ of his class. He didn’t mean to sit in the wrong seat, it’s not like it had a name on it. He just sat down and was forcefully removed by a boy his age. Only taller and more intimidating._

_"That’s my seat, freak,” he sneered. Gavin quickly stood up and dusted himself off._

_“I’m sorry,” he stuttered stepping back when the tall boy’s shorter friend walked up beside him._

_“Get lost weirdo,” he warned._

_Gavin didn’t need to be told twice.  He booked it across the room and sat next to a girl with red hair. She introduced herself as Lindsay and told him to stay with her if he wanted to survive. She told him the names of the two boys, Matt and Jeremy, and that they were ‘big dumb meanies’, Gavin agreed; glad to have someone on his side. She said that she’d introduce him to her friends at recess as they had a different teacher. Gavin was excited, thinking if her friends were as nice as she was then he was going to fit in just fine here. By the time lunch was over and the kids were released to the play ground Gavin wanted to explore everything. As he and Lindsay were walking over to the monkey bars she spotted her friends and told Gavin to wait right where he was and she would go get them. She hadn’t even been gone for a whole minute before Gavin was knocked to the ground._

_“So new kid, why do you talk so funny?” Matt asked rudely._

_“And why is your nose so big?” Jeremy laughed. When Gavin tried to stand up he was pushed back down and they continued to laugh at him._

_“What are you gonna do loser?” Matt taunted. Before Gavin could come up with a reply, a short boy their age, with curly hair and glasses stepped in front of Gavin and got right into the bullies faces._

_“Back off you jerks,” the boy threatened in a low tone. Gavin looked behind him to see Lindsay and a short boy with dark hair and glasses standing and glaring at the two boys. Gavin watched in awe as the two boys rolled their eyes and stormed off. His savior turned around and Gavin was met with a face full of freckles and dark brown eyes. The boy offered his hand to the small boy and Gavin took it instantly, letting himself be pulled up._

_“I’m Michael,” the boy grinned._

_“I’m Gavin,” he responded with a smile._

_“You do talk funny,” Michael stated. Gavin looked down shyly. “I like it,” Michael finished. Gavin looked up and was met with an even bigger grin._

_They smiled at each other for a long moment before Gavin remembered they weren’t alone. He turned back to Lindsay and the other boy and smiled. “I’m Gavin,” he said throwing his hand out._

_“Ray,” the short boy answered shaking his hand._

_“You okay Gav?” Lindsay asked. When he nodded and smiled at her she cheered. “Let’s go to the monkey bars now!” She grabbed Ray’s hand and started off in that direction._

_“Wait Michael,” Gavin started quietly._

_“What’s up Gavin?”_

_“I just wanted to say thank you,” Gavin told him._

_“Always,” was Michael’s response. “Come on, I’ll race ya!” Michael yelled taking off in a sprint. Gavin squawked trying to keep up._

_‘Always’ Gavin thought to himself for the rest of the day._

_And that’s how it all started._

_That’s how_ they _started._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 now re-posted. Hope you guys like it....again.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

After Griffon had agreed to a movie Saturday afternoon Geoff was going insane working out all the little details. The week had dragged by for him, with little comments and jabs from all his friends. So when the final bell rang Friday afternoon Geoff practically screamed with joy. Michael and Ray had been hounding him all week about what he would wear and say and making Geoff way more nervous than he needed to be.

Luckily for Geoff, movie night was at his house this week which meant that the boys could help him decided what to wear and what to say and do. The six best friends all climbed onto the bus; however Geoff’s obvious fear didn’t go unnoticed.

“Dude, relax,” Ryan started, “she said yes. She obviously likes you, no need to freak out,” he finished squeezing Geoff’s shoulder.

“You don’t get it man. She’s probably expecting some wild, crazy, adventure after the movie. I can’t give her that!”

“You don’t need to give her that. Just be yourself, it’s gotten you this far with her,” Ryan responded.

“I just want her to like me,” Geoff whimpered.

“She does,” and that was the end of the conversation. Geoff almost argued, but Ryan had sounded so confident that Geoff decided he didn’t have to.

Soon the bus dropped the six at their destination and they ran to the front door, waiting for Geoff to dig his keys out and let them in. Once they had all dropped their bags off in Geoff’s bedroom they went to the living room, pulled out the couch and set the recliners up next to each other and settled down for a bit of Halo. But before Geoff could even start the game Gavin was bounding over and sitting in his lap.

“So Geoff, figure out how you’re gonna ‘woo’ her tomorrow yet?” the brit sighed dreamily.

“No, get the fuck off me,” Geoff grunted shoving the smaller boy, but Gavin retaliated by wrapping his arms around Geoff’s neck and leaning into him.

“But Geoff,” Gavin whined.

“How the hell am I supposed to know what to do?”

“Geoff, here’s what you do,” Ray began, “you get real close to her like this,” the Puerto Rican stood from his spot on the floor and sat next to Geoff and Gavin on the couch, “you do one of these,” he stretched his arm out and pretended to yawn and before Gavin knew it he was ripped from Geoff and onto Ray’s lap where the dark haired boy cradled him into his chest, “and boom, she’s wooed.”

“Well Gavin, are you wooed?” Jack asked from across the room.

“I’m feeling pretty damn wooed you guys,” he chuckled.

Laughter resounded throughout the room for only a short moment before Michael got off the recliner he was sitting in and stood in front of Ray and Gavin. “Okay okay, we all know I’m the only know who gets to ‘woo’ Gavin,” he said playfully, however Ray noticed the slight edge to his words and quickly released Gavin when Michael reached down to pick up the squawking boy and carried him back to his previous seat. Gavin’s face was surely bright red by the time they were sitting back down. Michael had managed to sit with Gavin squished in the corner of the seat in such a way that he couldn’t get up at all, and no one else could really look at him.

The room was silent for a long moment before Ryan came to the rescue and dramatically flung himself across Ray’s lap. “Don’t worry Ray; you can woo me any day!” The small boy chuckled before running his hand through his friend’s hair and asking if he too was ‘properly in love with him’ Ryan said yes, but nobody noticed the slight truth to his words.

The rest of the night passed in a blur of Chinese takeout, soda, and cheesy movies before the boys decided it was time for bed. Michael and Gavin made themselves comfortable on the floor next to each other while, because Geoff’s house was bigger than the other guys, Geoff, Jack, and Ryan all managed to fit on the pull out couch while Ray crashed on the recliner.

“Night dicks,” Geoff called turning out the light. The rest of the guys called out their goodnights before turning on their sides and shutting their eyes.

“Night Mikey,” Gavin whispered staring into Michael’s eyes.

“Night Gavvy,” Michael said, smiling before turning around and putting his back to Gavin.

~~~

“Wake up Geoff!” Gavin cried loudly the next morning. He threw himself onto Geoff’s sleeping body and straddled his waist.

“What!” Geoff tried to sit up but was restrained by his excited friend. He looked around disoriented for a minute before his eyes settled on the clock hung on the wall. “It’s not even noon yet, why am I awake?” He asked looking accusingly at Gavin.

“Today is the day Geoffrey!” Gavin exclaimed. Oh shit. Geoff thought, today is my date with Griffon. Geoff looked around at all his friends faces before he whispered a quiet ‘fuck’.

“You have to be there in three hours, we figured that should give you enough time to wake up and put some clothes on,” Jack explained far too cheerily for ten am on a Saturday.

“Now the key to a successful first date is to always use protection, don’t push too fa-“ Ray was cut off when a pillow was smashed into his face and he was tackled by Ryan.

“No need to scare the man, Christ,” Ryan said, slowly taking the pillow off of Ray’s face and shaking his head at the laughing boy.

“You guys are dicks,” Geoff grumbled throwing Gavin off of him and stretching. “When are your parents coming to take you evil creatures away from me?” He asked the room at large.

“Jack’s mom is getting us in about an hour,” Ryan said beginning to fold his blankets and pack his things away.

“The lads and I are walking to my house, we can leave whenever you want us to man,” Michael said helping Gavin pack up his sleeping bag.

“The sooner you losers are gone the better,” Geoff said through a yawn. The six started cleaning up their mess from the night before, but it didn’t take long for Geoff to go into crisis mode.

“What do I wear to something like this?” was the first question. Soon he was going at a million miles a minute asking every question that came to mind, not all were even related to the date anymore.

“I got this,” Jack announced dragging the boy up the stairs and to his bedroom leaving the other boys snickering in their wake.

“Dude he’s so fucked,” Michael stated turning to Ray.

“I can’t wait for him to call us all after crying,”

“Oh come on, have some faith in him,” Ryan scolded.

“This is Geoff we’re talking about Rye,” Ray pointed out.

“He does have a point,” Michael nodded.

“You guys are awful,” Ryan shook his head before turning back to his bags and finishing packing.

Soon Jack had Geoff’s outfit all picked out and his mother was there to pick him and Ryan up, the lads had left only moments before, but before Jack could get in the car Geoff was right behind him.

“Are you sure this isn’t too casual?” he pulled his shirt forward to get a better look at it. It wasn’t gonna change the fact that it was a solid black shirt, really.

“Dude, it’s the movies not prom, you look fine,” Jack answered before shutting the door and telling his mom to drive away fast.

Jack and Ryan chuckled as they watched Geoff’s crestfallen face in the rear-view mirrors.

“He’s gonna do great,” Jack said. Ryan nodded in agreement and soon they were at Jack’s home ready to play video games and maybe do some homework.

~~~

“Call me when the movie is over and I’ll come get you. Have fun and good luck sweetie!” Geoff’s mom called as he stepped out of the car and swung the door shut behind him. His face was on fire but he tried to keep his cool.

The movie was gonna start in half an hour, and he and Griffon had agreed to meet early and find good seats. He bought a ticket and sat on a bench in the lobby while he waited for Griffon. After five minutes with no sign of her Geoff began to panic.  _What if it was all a joke? What if she never shows up? Oh my God! She probably already has a boyfriend; she’s too amazing to not have dozens of guys falling all over her. No way she’d choose me._ He was interrupted from his thoughts when he was tapped on the shoulder, he looked up to see Griffon standing above him and staring at him with wide blue eyes.

“You okay?” she asked tilting her head to the side and studying him.

“Yeah, I’m great,” he answered looking her up and down, God, even in a t-shirt and jeans she managed to look absolutely stunning.

“Well then let’s go get seats,” she giggled heading toward the ticket taker and waiting as he ripped hers and then Geoff’s ticket and pointed them down the hall to the left.

The walk down the hall was silent, their hands occasionally brushing against each others, but Geoff was positive that it would be too soon. He didn’t notice that she was purposefully pushing her arm towards his. Oh well.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I like to put the arm rests up, more room, ya know?” Griffon told him as she lifted the rest between the two of them up. Geoff gulped and nodded turning his attention to the screen as it began to play trailers for upcoming movies.

Every attempt Griffon made at conversation was shut down by Geoff who was too tense to even pretend he was listening to her. Finally she had had enough.

“Did you ask me out on a dare or something?” she asked lowly, clearly pissed off. Geoff whipped his head sideways to look at her, seeing the glare in her icy eyes scared the shit out of him if he was being honest.

“No, no, why would you think that?” he stuttered.

“Cause you’ve barely spoken to me since we got here. Look if this is a bet or a dare just tell me now so I don’t get my hopes up on you,” she said half angry, half defeated sounding.

“I haven’t been talking because I just want this to go well,” Geoff admitted. “I was worried that you’d get here and realize I’m just a waste of your time and you’d leave,” he confessed looking down.

“Geoff, I agreed to go out with you cause I like you, dumbass,” Griffon chided.

“I’m sorry Griffon, I want this to be perfect for you,” he mumbled as the opening credits of the movie began.

“Then shut up and hold my hand,” she chuckled turning her palm upward allowing him to thread his fingers through hers.

~~~

“Dude it was awesome as dicks! She’s so funny and she gets right to the point. God I’ve never met a girl who isn’t afraid to make the first move, an-“ Ryan held the phone away from his ear for a minute to roll his eyes at Jack who was laughing from his seat on the bed next to him. “-ya know?”

“Yeah man, I getcha,” Ryan responded looking helplessly at Jack as he continued to laugh.

“I’m gonna go call the lads now, see you guys Monday!” Geoff exclaimed.

“Okay, have fun. Congrats man,” Ryan said hitting the ‘end call’ button and turning to Jack with a look of shock.

“He did it,” Jack said impressed.

“Yeah, he did,” Ryan agreed. “Do you think it’ll be weird now?” he asked after a moment.

“What would be weird?”

“One of us having a girlfriend?” Ryan answered.

“I don’t think it’ll be weird at all. It was bound to happen eventually. Now all we gotta do is get Michael and Gavin together and then you can ask Ray out and it’ll all be set!” Jack cheered.

“Woah, Ray? What?” Ryan blurted.

“Dude, come on, it’s pretty obvious you’re crushing. I don’t judge man, it’s cool,” Jack held his hands up in surrender.

“I, I do not like Ray. He’s one of my best friends man, that’s weird,” Ryan explained shaking his head vigorously.

“You know what they say, ‘the best relationships start off as friendships’,” Jack quoted.

“Well not this one, cause Ray and I don’t like each other like that,” Ryan argued.

“Whatever man, but when you realize I was right, I’m expecting you to apologize,” Jack teased before picking up the two controllers on his desk and tossing one to the boy next to him.

“Not happening,” Ryan muttered as he hit start.

~~~

The next week blew right by, and it wasn’t a surprise when Griffon fit in quite well with their little group. She was able to gossip and plan slumber parties with the girls, while also winning belching contests with the guys. They were all quite impressed with her, and by the starry look in Geoff’s eyes every time she did something, he was too.

It was the middle of lunch on Wednesday when Gavin was called to the office. Michael offered to walk him, but Gavin told him there was no need as he’d be back before the end of lunch. He was sadly wrong as when he got to the office he was met with the red-rimmed eyes of his mother.

“Mom? What’s going on?” he asked looking between her and the school secretary staring at him with pity in her dark brown eyes.

“Gavin sweetie, we’re leaving okay?” his mother spoke softly.

“What happened?” he asked, his mind immediately went to his father, “is dad okay?” he panicked.

“Yes honey, your father is fine,” she answered wrapping her arm around him and thanking the secretary before leading him to the front doors.

“Mom, talk to me, please.” He pleaded as they reached the car.

His mother ushered him into the car and sighed when they were both inside. The silence stretched between the two for a long moment before she turned to meet his scared gaze.

“Gavin, your grandmother Margaret,” his mother started, “she uh, she had a heart attack last night,” his mother chocked. “Gavin, sweetie, she’s gone,” his mother sobbed, leaning over and pulling him into a hug. Gavin was frozen; Margaret was one of the most amazing people Gavin had ever known. She had come to visit every year since they moved and she called at least twice a month to speak to only Gavin.

“What are we gonna do?” he whispered pale. His mother pulled back to look at him and sighed.

“We’re going back to England for the rest of the week sweetie. I’ve already informed your teachers. They said they’ll have Michael get your work and give it to you when we get back on Sunday,” she said. Gavin nodded slowly and leaned back in his seat.

The drive to his house was silent except for the occasional sniffle from Gavin or his mother. Gavin’s phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out to see Michael’s face smiling back at him, he hit decline and stuffed it back in his pocket, ignoring when it went off three more times after. He really just wanted to be alone.

~~~

As soon as the final bell rang Michael ran out of class and told Geoff he was going to Gavin’s to ‘see what the fuck is going on’. Geoff wished him good luck before going to find Griffon’s locker.

Michael was pissed. That was the easiest way to put it, Gavin said he’d be back before lunch was over, but he wasn’t, then he ignored Michael’s calls for the rest of the day. That was not okay with Michael. He texted his mom that he wouldn’t be home for a couple of hours and got on the bus that would lead him to the opposite side of town.

The last time Gavin had ignored Michael for so long was after they got in an argument over a school project in 7th grade. It was a stupid little disagreement that was quickly resolved when Michael went to Gavin’s house and apologized. They never ignored each other, because when they fought Michael would always go after Gavin as soon as it was over, and by the next hour they were fine again.

The bus stopped on Gavin’s street and Michael stepped off and waited until the bus was out of sight before he sprinted down the street towards the small blue house that was Gavin’s. He ran up the stone steps and knocked impatiently on the door. When Gavin’s dad answered the door he looked like he had been crying, he sighed and opened the door  letting the red head in. Michael didn’t spare him a second glance, only bolted up the stairs to Gavin’s room before he burst in.

“What the fuck Gavin? You just disappear and then ignore me all day? Not cool man!” he raged. When all he got in response was a whimper he finally took in his surroundings. The lights were all off; the only light was that which was seeping in from the window. Gavin was laid in bed in a bundle of blankets; Michael couldn’t even see him, only a lump in the middle of the mattress.

“Gavin?” Michael asked, stepping forwards and stopping once he reached the edge of the bed. When he got no response he slowly pried the blankets from Gavin’s body until he could see his best friend, looking up at him sadly. He turned on the lamp on Gavin’s bed side table and noticed how Gavin had winced. He must’ve been in the dark for a long time.

“She’s gone Michael,” Gavin whispered, his face crumpling as he curled in on himself.

“Who?” Michael asked eyes wide.

“Margaret,” Michael gasped and took a step back. Margaret was Gavin’s grandmother, his amazing grandmother that Michael had met countless times since becoming friends with the Brit. She could only visit once a year, but she and Gavin were extremely close, so Michael had an idea of what Gavin was feeling. She was very wise and always helped Michael when he was in a pickle. Hell she had even given him her phone number once and told him to call if he ever needed anything. He didn’t, but he sure wished he did.

The first time he met her was always his favorite memory of the woman though. 

~~~

_“Michael come on!” Gavin shouted grabbing the red heads wrist and dashing across the street. Gavin was so excited for Michael to meet his grandmother he could hardly contain his excitement._

_“Margaret!” Gavin cheered as the little old woman stepped out of the cab and thanked the driver again for all his help as he pulled the last of her bags out of the trunk. “This is my best friend Michael,” he said before stepping in for a hug._

_“Well hello Michael,” Margaret greeted pulling the young boy into a quick embrace._

_“Nice to meet you ma’am,” Michael answered when she pulled back._

_“Call me Margaret sweetie,” she told him as they started walking toward Gavin’s front door where his parents stood smiling as they welcomed her to their home. Michael nodded and followed Gavin when he ran into the living room and turned the TV on eager to watch a movie with his best friend and his grandmother.  He was still too short to reach the top shelf of their movie cabinet however, so he clumsily pulled a chair up to it and stood on it not noticing it wobble under his weight._

_“Gavin be careful,” Michael told him stepping up behind him._

_Sure enough the chair toppled under him and Gavin let out a loud shriek as he descended to the floor with a crash. Michael was immediately by his side pulling him into a hug as Gavin cried and clutched his arm to his chest. Gavin’s parents quickly ran into the living room and after hearing what happened they took him into the kitchen to get some ice for his bruised arm._

_“I’m sorry,” Michael kept whispering over and over._

_“Sweetie it’s not your fault,” Margaret said as she sat down on the couch, she patted the seat next to her for the young boy to sit down. “That boy’s been clumsy since the day he was born,” she chuckled._

_“I should’ve caught him,” Michael replied stubbornly._

_“Oh stop that, what matters is that you were there after he hurt himself. That’s what’s important,” she smiled._

_“I’ll always be there after he gets hurt, I promise,” Michael said crossing his hand over his heart and nodding._

_“Don’t promise me sweetheart, promise yourself,” she responded._

~~~

And he did make that promise to himself. And he had done a pretty damn good job of it if he did say so himself. And he knew he was needed now more than ever.

He pulled the covers back from Gavin’s body and lay on the bed next to him. “Turn around,” he commanded. Gavin stared at him confused before turning his back to Michael. He shivered when Michael wrapped his arm around him and pulled him into his chest.

“What are you do-“ Gavin started.

“Shut up, I’m comforting you,” Michael grumbled. “We can talk about it later, just try to get some rest right now,” he whispered burying his face in Gavin’s hair and closing his eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 3 re-posted! Chapter 4 should be out within the next few days sorry for that. Now I hope you enjoy and remember all feedback is always welcome! Love you guys!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

“Goodnight Gavin,” Michael said roaming his cursor over the ‘end call’ button on the screen. In the background Ray and Ryan had passed out on top of each other while Geoff was sitting in the recliner, his neck bent at an odd angle that would surely hurt in the morning. Jack wasn’t on screen but Gavin could hear his snoring from somewhere in the room.

“Goodnight my boi,” Gavin whispered smiling at the sight of all his best friends strewn about.

“Hey, it’s only one more day. You’ll be home before you know it,” Michael comforted.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Gavin sighed meeting Michael’s eyes. “Bye Michael,” he yawned.

“Bye Gav,” The two boys ended the call and shut their laptops. Gavin sighed sadly, missing his best friends all the way back in Texas.

He had been in England since Thursday, and while Gavin loved his family, he really wanted nothing more than to be back home. He was way behind on homework and he hated being around crying people all the time. His mother had hugged him at least five times a day since, and told him she loved him at least once every hour. He’d pass her the salt at dinner and she’d say it. It was getting on his nerves.

The funeral had been nice, filled with loved ones and kind words from those around him. Gavin’s father tried to get Gavin to speak, but he knew he’d be a sobbing mess two words in. So he sat silently in the first row next to his mother who held his hand tightly with every word that was uttered.

The home he had been staying in was his uncles, and while it was a beautiful home, it wasn’t home. It wasn’t Geoff’s cackle and Ray arguing about what the best Call of Duty game was with everyone. It wasn’t Ryan and Jack answering for each other in class because they sounded the same and no one noticed. And it wasn’t Michael’s warm smile when Gavin sat down next to him at lunch, or when he walked into class right before the bell rang and winked at Michael that he had made it just in time, just before the teacher could scold him.

In fact, the only thing keeping him sane was his nightly Skype calls with Michael, and because he missed movie night at Ray’s that week Michael Skyped him with all his friends sitting around the screen, they watched movies together and Gavin watched as the five attempted to play video games which only ended in Geoff pinning Ryan to the ground and screaming that he had somehow managed to cheat. Gavin hadn’t laughed so hard all week and his friends were just happy to help. It was well into the wee hours of the morning when Gavin finally said goodnight to his morons back home. After a chorus of ‘we love you’ and ‘goodnight’ Gavin ended the call with a grin and crawled into bed, for the first time all week falling asleep easily.

~~~

“Guys he’s coming home today!” Michael yelled running around the front yard of the Free residence. The five had gotten up early Sunday morning to make Gavin a nice ‘Welcome Home’ sign and Michael’s mother had even baked them cookies. So now the five friends all sat around the stairs waiting for the taxi to pull up and release their Gavin back to them.

“We know Michael, we wouldn’t be here if he wasn’t,” Ray groaned.

“I’ve just missed my boi,” Michael grinned.

“We know, it’s all you’ve talked about,” Jack grumbled leaning onto Geoff’s shoulder.

Everyone had noticed Michael’s uneasy behavior without Gavin. He was silent in English class without Gavin to pass notes with and talk to. When he thought of a good idea at lunch he’d turn to his left expecting Gavin to be there but would frown and stare back at the table when the British boy wasn’t. They all knew Michael and Gavin needed each other, they just didn’t know how bad it was. Michael could hardly function. And all he would talk about at lunch was his and Gavin’s Skype call from the night before.

So when the yellow cab turned the corner and stopped right in front of Gavin’s house Michael couldn’t stand and run to the car fast enough it seemed. He bolted to the back door and opened it, letting Gavin’s mother out before Gavin slid out right behind her. He wasn’t even standing at his full height before Michael ripped him into his arms and squeezed him tightly. After a long moment Gavin looked up to see the rest of his friends standing in a cluster behind Michael.

“We’d like to hug our foreigner too, ya know,” Geoff spoke impatiently. Michael released Gavin with a glare and let the other boys hug and grab at him.

“Hello boys, come on in,” Mr. Free told them as he dug his keys from his pocket and let them in.

“Thank you sir, we’re very sorry for your loss,” Geoff solemnly said stepping forward and accepting Mrs. Free’s hug when she opened her arms for him. The other boys followed suit and after they had their bags back in their rooms and had settled in, Gavin’s mother announced that she was going to the store to buy some groceries and his father told them he would be going to work to turn in the files he had worked on over the week.

Once they were gone, the six boys all piled onto Gavin’s couch the way they had become used to. Ray, Ryan, Jack, Geoff, and Michael, would all sit with Gavin stretched across their laps. His head in Michael’s as the freckle faced boy ran his fingers through his hair and asked him about his trip. Gavin filled them all in about his family and the funeral and how his parents had been acting since it had happened. He talked about how it had affected everyone else and they all remained silent while they listened to their small friend.

“But aside from all that Gav,” Ryan started, “how are you doing?” he questioned.

Gavin was lost in thought for a minute before he leaned up to look at the light haired boy. “I’m… I’m okay,” he decided. “I’m better than my parents, that’s for sure, and it still hurts a lot, but I’m gonna be okay,” he finished resting his head back down on Michael’s thighs and sighing contentedly when his best friend’s fingers started working through his hair again, scratching lightly at his scalp.

The day passed by slowly, once Gavin’s mother returned she made the boys lunch and told Gavin that they’d have to leave soon so he could do his homework that he had missed. Gavin begged her for just a few more hours and she had finally allowed for only one of them to stay, and told him that they could stay the night only if he got all his work done. Obviously Michael was the one to stay. Soon the other four boys were saying their goodbyes and hugging Gavin, promising to see him tomorrow.

Once the two were alone in Gavin’s room they began pulling work sheets out of binders and spreading them across the table.

“Okay so English was easy, read this and write a one page response. Ray said geography was just studying Europe for your test Tuesday, so you’re covered there,” Michael winked. Gavin rolled his eyes and began pulling out his textbook and setting it open on the bed between them.

“You are not covered however, so I’m gonna quiz you,” Gavin told him. Michael shook his head with a smile and let Gavin ask him ridiculous questions.

“Italy is the one shaped like a boot dumbass,” Gavin scolded.

“I’m fucked,” Michael groaned lying back on the bed.

“Sorry boi, wish I could help you, but you’re hopeless,” Gavin shut the book and set it on the floor next to him. When he reached for his back pack he was stopped by a hand on his wrist. He looked up to see Michael staring at him intently.

“How are you?” he inquired. Gavin tilted his head confusedly.

“I’m fine Michael,” he answered trying to tug his arm free, but Michael just pulled him down on top of him and wrapped his arms around his back.

“Don’t lie to me Gavvy,” the curly haired boy sternly commanded. With so little space between the two Gavin could only look at Michael as the older boy stared at him expectantly.

“I,” the Brit started, his lip quivering, “I never said goodbye. We just, we talked on the phone only two weeks ago and now she’s just gone. The last thing we talked about was yo-“ he cut himself off with a sob.

“What was it Gavin?” Michael asked patiently.

“It doesn’t matter now,” Gavin said rolling off of Michael and curling around himself. Michael quickly followed the movement and turned on his side to face the weeping boy, pulling him closer with one hand and wiping his face with the other.

“It’s okay Gav, it’s okay,” Michael repeated. “You loved her and she loved you and that’s what matters,” he soothed.

“She really loved you too, ya know,” Gavin whispered as the shorter boy placed his hand on Gavin’s cheek.

“I loved her too boi,” Michael admitted with misty eyes. Gavin responded by burrowing further into Michael’s chest and wrapping an arm around his waist. The two shut their eyes and soon both of their breathing evened out.

When Gavin’s mom walked in a few hours later, at only eight o’clock and found the two boys huddled together sound asleep, she smiled to herself and quietly shut the door.

“How are they?” her husband asked once she made her way back to the couch.

“They’re asleep,” she told him leaning her head on his shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her.

“Of course they are,” Mr. Free responded shaking his head with a smile.

“Our boy’s in good hands,” Mrs. Free mused. Thinking of her son wrapped up in his best friend’s arms just above them.

“That he is, that he is,” her husband kissed her on the forehead before turning the TV on and letting the news fill the silence.

~~~

By Tuesday of the next week things had gone back to normal. Mostly. Gavin was quieter than usual which meant Michael was quieter as well. This only resulted in much silence at the lunch table. The other guys with the help of Lindsay, Tina, and Griffon tried to keep conversation flowing at all times, but it usually fell flat.

Gavin felt horrible to be honest. Being surrounded by all the love from his family and friends just made him feel worse about missing Margaret and not trying to be happier. But he was grieving what was he supposed to do? He couldn’t flip a switch and shut the guilt off. The last thing they had talked about was Michael and how Gavin’s little crush was. His face was flaming as he tried to explain to the woman that he didn’t have any such feelings for his best friend. Now though, he wished he had just admitted it and let her tease him about it. He wished he could hear her laugh one more time. Or see her smile, but mostly, he wishes he could’ve said he loved her one last time.

Michael had been his rock throughout the entire thing, calling him every night and letting him rant about his feelings and soothing him when he got too worked up. So really, Gavin was just glad for his best friend at this time, but still felt so god damn guilty. He was bringing the entire group down with his negative attitude towards everything lately. And when he wouldn’t laugh at a joke Michael made, the red head’s smile would vanish and he’d shut down right along with Gavin.

“-avin? Are you in or not?” Gavin whipped his head up to look at Jack who was staring at him curiously.

“I’m sorry, what?” he answered.

“Party, Joel Heyman’s house, Friday night?” Jack asked. Gavin raised an eyebrow and looked around the table to see all his friends looking at him.

“Isn’t he a junior?” Gavin was confused. Freshmen never got invited to parties. Especially parties of an upperclassman. Ever.

“His best friend Adam is in my history class, he said I should definitely come and told me the more the merrier,” Jack shrugged.

“I don’t know, I doubt our parents would agree,” he felt uneasy. He had seen the movies and read the books; he knew what happened at these things. Drugs and alcohol were going to be there, which would lead to hook ups and unwanted pregnancies and Gavin wasn’t really sure if he wanted to be involved with any of that.

“My parents are going to visit my aunt Sophia this weekend anyway,” Michael started, and oh yeah, Gavin remembered. Movie night at Michael’s this Friday. And if his parents weren’t there then surely they could do whatever they wanted. “Plus Joel only lives down the block from me,” he shrugged.

“Yeah, come on Gav, it’ll be fun,” Ray voiced, and he actually sounded like he wanted to go which was surprising. Normally it was very hard to get Ray outta the house, so Gavin knew they wanted this.

“Yeah, sure, I’ll come,” he agreed. “But if anything goes wrong, I’m blaming Geoff,” the Brit teased.

“Oh shits gonna go wrong alright,” Geoff laughed.

“Don’t worry, Ray and I will stay sober and watch your asses,” Ryan announced looking at the dark haired boy for confirmation. Ray nodded and smiled at him, a silent agreement to protect, but they both knew that they’d definitely be taking pictures and videos of the other guys for blackmail purposes if the situation arose.

“I’ll take care of ya dude,” Michael assured throwing his arm around Gavin and pulling him into his side.

“You better,” Gavin mumbled although no one heard him.

The rest of the day passed by relatively slow, and before anyone knew it Michael and Gavin were heading back to Michael’s for a good old bois’ afternoon. They stepped through the front door and dropped their bags by the hall closet before trekking into the living room and plopping themselves down on the couch.

“What do you wanna do Gav?” the older boy asked, picking the remote off the table and hitting the power button.

“Whatever you wanna do Mikey,” Gavin replied.

“Halo?” Michael suggested.

“Sure,” and soon the two were in an intense match, but as always Gavin came out as the victor and was soon pinned under the weight of his best friend.

“I swear to God you fucking cheated!” he yelled.

“Did not! I’d never cheat… at halo,” Gavin defended.

“You totally fucking did,” Michael teased, his grip on Gavin’s wrists loosening.

Gavin pushed with all his might and soon had the other boy under him, which was quite a shock as Michael was always stronger.

“I didn’t,” he stated, leaning his face closer to his best friends. They both paused for a minute, the smiles slowly disappearing from their faces. Michael gulped and stared between Gavin’s eyes and lips for a moment before he realized who it was and what he was doing.

“How have you been?” He asked instead, releasing himself from Gavin’s hold and sitting up.

“I’m better,” Gavin said putting space between them.

“That’s good, I’m glad,” Michael told him. Silence filled the area around them and soon Gavin was standing and grabbing his things.

“I should get going, mom will probably be making dinner soon,” Gavin explained when Michael opened his mouth to ask.

“Oh right, talk to you later?” Michael sounded so insecure that Gavin almost did a double take. He looked normal, but didn’t sound it at all.

“Of course boi,” Gavin smiled before walking down the hallway and out the door.

~~~

Before anyone could blink it was Friday and word of Joel’s big party had definitely gotten around. All anyone seemed to be talking about was what they were gonna wear and who they wanted to hook up with.

“Guys I’m warning you now,” Geoff started, “I’m gonna get fucking hammered,” he announced, Griffon nodding next to him.

“Me too,” Michael grinned. Ray, Ryan and Jack being the sensible ones shook their heads and said they’d stop by the store before to pick up some Advil for the next morning then.

Gavin still felt pretty uneasy about going to a party with a bunch of upperclassmen, sure it was a joke he promised himself that he’d stay mostly sober to be on high alert. However once the school day was over and they were on the bus towards Michael’s home, the red head was begging Gavin to drink with him so he wouldn’t ‘look like an idiot alone.’ Gavin reluctantly agreed to have a few, but he knew he was a lightweight and ‘a few’ was too much.

They spent the last few hours leading to the party playing video games and talking about all the cool stuff they were gonna do. However when they were only an hour away from departing they realized they had no idea how these things actually went. ‘Who do you talk to?’ ‘When is it okay to start drinking?’ ‘When do they leave?’

“What the hell does someone wear to one of these things?” Ray asked as they stepped into Michael’s room.

“Just dress casual,” Ryan shrugged. The boys began opening their overnight bags and pulling out their ‘party attire.’

“Here Gav, wear this,” Michael said as he threw one of his black t-shirts at the Brit.

“Why?” Gavin asked confused. The shirt was too big for him and it wasn’t like he didn’t have any casual shirts of his own.

“It’s his way of showing possession of you. Ya know, so the ladies know who’s taking you home,” Geoff teased, pulling his jeans on.

“Oh well in that case,” Gavin winked as he pulled the shirt on over his head. Michael’s face was bright red but he busied himself with getting changed and grabbing a beanie before throwing his sweatshirt on and looking at everyone else.

“Ready?” he asked with a raised eye brow.

When everyone said yes they made their way downstairs and outside heading down the street on their way to Joel’s. The walk was relatively quiet, just every one enjoying the fresh air and buzzing in excitement.

Soon they had turned a corner onto September Drive and found a large brown house all lit up, music thumping and teens scattered everywhere.

“Shit,” Jack whispered.

“Stick together?” Ray suggested with a timid smile.

“Fuck that, be cool people,” Geoff told them. “I’m gonna go find Griffon and have a good time, I suggest you losers do the same,” he departed with a smile and made his way into the big house.

“How bad could it be?” Ryan asked slinging his arms around Ray and Gavin’s shoulders and steering them towards the door.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Because I got snowed into my house I've had plenty of time to work on this and it turns out this is my longest chapter yet which I'm really excited about because it was definitely my favorite to plan and write out. Raywood fans, I apologize in advance for this chapter and the next few, but it'll all work out in the end obviously. Mavin fans I apologize to you also, but I mean come on we all knew she'd appear eventually. I hope you enjoy the guys' first high school party and I hope to hear from some of you soon!  
> TW: use of homophobic language.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Awkward was an understatement. Everywhere he turned Ray was cornered by sweaty dancing bodies and there was nowhere for him to escape to. He had only been there for maybe fifteen minutes and he had already been offered six different drinks, been asked to dance with, and one girl, who clearly wasn’t going to remember a thing in the morning, came about two inches from kissing him. He quickly shuffled along the wall around the mass of bodies doing some pretty obscene things with their hips, and stood in the corner by the couch where a couple people were just sitting around.

As luck would have it Ray was almost immediately abandoned once he stepped foot into the unfamiliar house. Michael and Gavin saw Lindsay and the girls and ran to them instantly, Geoff texted Griffon to meet him in the kitchen by the beer and ta da! There she was. Jack saw Joel’s friend Adam and went to mingle for a bit, and Ryan had told Ray he would catch up with him later. Well it was now later and Ryan was not catching up.

Ray was pretty pissed to be honest, he didn’t even want to be here as much as everyone else, he just knew that it would cheer Gavin up, so he plastered on the happiest smile he could manage and made it seem like it was a great idea! This was not a great idea. Now Ray knows how to have fun, it just so happens that Ray knows how to have fun being sober and being himself. He doesn’t need to smoke or drink up to make people like him, they just do. This party however, was full of kids who thought they had to impress everyone with how many shots or hits they could take, which only resulted in all of them looking like idiots.

And who of course were the biggest idiots of all? Why Ray’s best friends of course, who were without a doubt getting smashed.

He scanned the room for any sight of his friends, but all he saw were strange faces doing strange things, and he really didn’t want to watch any more couples making out, so he fished out his phone and started scrolling through his apps.

“Could be at home playing Halo,” Ray muttered to himself as he clicked on angry birds and waited for it to load, “but noooooo, go the party, watch all your friends make fools of themselves. Why not? It’ll be fun! Bullshit,” he shook his head as his first bird completely missed the smiling green pigs hidden behind their concrete walls. Fucking cowards.

After beating the first two levels and having to restart the third three times Ray gave up and decided to go on in search of one of his friends before he got anymore weird looks from the stoned upperclassmen on the couch. Easier said than done he quickly discovered. Getting pulled into the crowd in the middle of the room was apparently very easy and soon Ray was struggling to get past people without being thrown around like a fucking pinball. The urge to scream was getting stronger when suddenly a hand from somewhere to his left grabbed tightly to his wrist and yanked, he couldn’t fight it off in time and soon he was crashing past two people, far too drunk to care, and into a strong chest.

“Finally,” Ryan smirked, steadying him with his hands on his waist. “I’ve been looking for you forever, I should’ve known you’d be on the dance floor,” he laughed.

“Not willingly,” Ray grumbled looking down at where Ryan’s hands were still clutching his waist tightly.

“Oh, sorry,” Ryan said lowly, taking his hands away from Ray’s small frame and stepping back.

“Where have you been?” Ray asked accusingly.

“I went to get a drink and then I went looking for you. Geoff’s on his third beer by now, already taken like four shots, I don’t know how he does it. Michael and Gavin are with Lindsay and some of her friends and Jack is talking to Joel and his friends,” Ryan told him.

“How has it taken you this long to find me, I was standing in that corner for like fifteen minutes!” he exclaimed, gesturing wildly to the corner he had previously occupied, now being used by two horny teenagers who couldn’t seem to get close enough even when they were practically inside each other. Ray grimaced and quickly turned back to Ryan.

“I hope you weren’t there with them the whole time,” Ryan said concerned.

“I wasn’t. Let’s get out of here,” Ray said pushing Ryan toward the doorway leading to the kitchen.

They came across a large group of upperclassmen standing around a table almost completely silent. There was the sound of a light thump and then nothing. The crowd erupted in cheers, screaming, jumping and laughing.

“What the hell?” Ray asked looking at Ryan who was much taller and could just make out what was happening.

“Oh, of fucking course,” Ryan chuckled.

“What?” Ray snapped impatient.

“Geoff,” the blonde responded, shaking his head.

“Suck it bitches!” and yup, that was Geoff and he was very clearly on the road to intoxication from the sound of it.

“What is he doing?” Ray asked confused.

“Beer pong,” Ryan answered and okay Ray had watched movies and seen plenty of high school parties in them but what the fuck was beer pong?

He didn’t get to find out though, as he had almost ran into the middle of it all worried that no one would take care of him once he reached the intoxicated state, but then he remembered Griffon was there too. She’d definitely look after him, right? Plus he was pretty sure Jack was somewhere around there as well. He was just gonna have to hope so because a moment later Ryan was handing him a can of coke and telling him that they should go check out the basement.

Soon they were downstairs where they came across Miles and his girlfriend Arryn who were standing by a set of speakers each nursing a beer. There was significantly less people down there, just people standing around and listening to music or on their phones, or a very small group of people who were sitting around in a circle with a… was that a bottle? _Oh my god_ Ray thought _they’re playing spin the bottle._

“We should go back upstairs,” he suggested to Ryan who raised an eyebrow.

“We literally just got down here,” he replied.

“I know, but maybe we can catch Gav drunk somewhere, that’s always fun!” he fake cheered just as Tina walked up to them from the circle across the room.

“You guys should totally come play seven minutes in heaven with us,” she announced looking at all four of them. She was very tipsy, and continued to stare at them while they made a decision. Miles and Arryn looked kind of iffy about it before finally shrugging and looking at the other two boys. Ray was about to protest when Ryan shrugged and started walking over.

“I’m sorry, what?” Ray squeaked.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” Ryan asked with a smirk.

“A lot. Think about it man. You’re in a dark room… with a stranger… alone… Oh yeah nothing can go wrong,” Ray snarked.

“Ray,” Ryan faced him, “please, just try and have a good time. For me?” he gave him puppy dog eyes and Ray sighed before going to sit in the circle next to Arryn and Ryan. They sat there for seven minutes while one couple went in. They came out with red faces and glassy eyes. Ray really didn’t want to know.

“My turn!” Tina giggled sloppily leaning forwards and giving the bottle a halfhearted twirl. It spun fully around once before coming to a stop on… _Fuck my life._

“Come on babe,” Tina winked. She grabbed Ray’s hand and giggled as she pulled him toward the closet. She was very eager and the Puerto Rican looked at Ryan for help, but Ryan was stone-faced next to him.

“Time starts now!” a girl Ray now knew was named Lily, called from the other side of the door.

“So, uh, what do you want to tal-“ He couldn’t even finish his question before the small girl pounced.

She had her hands placed firmly on his shoulders and backed him into the wall, her mouth moving fiercely with his. He kept his hands pressed flat against the wall behind him and squeezed his eyes shut. He wanted to be pissed off, he wanted to feel a little violated. This was his first kiss really, he didn’t like to count that Dakota girl back in third grade, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset with Tina, she was drunk and wanted to have a good time at her first high school party. He figured he’d give her this, plus kissing was fun, he had just learned. Really, where was the harm?

When her tongue swiped across his bottom lip, he opened his mouth for her and slowly but surely moved his hands from the wall to her hips where he held loosely. He pressed forward slightly off the wall and leaned more into it when she pulled off of his mouth and kissed a trail down from his mouth to the juncture where his shoulder and neck met, biting gently and soothing the prick with her tongue.

Ray was in shock honestly. This was Tina, who sat with them at lunch all the time and would blush whenever someone swore. And now she was drunkenly sucking on Ray’s pulse point turning him into goop. _It’s always the quiet ones._ Ray thought to himself before pulling back enough for her to get off his neck, he looked at her eyes and shiny lips for only a second before diving back in and covering her mouth with his.

“Time!” Lily yelled opening the door just as the two ripped their mouths apart with a soft ‘pop.’

They walked out in silence, Ray’s neck sporting a dark purple bruise, his lips puffy and eyes wide. Ryan took one look at him before glaring at him and Tina and announcing he was going to get a drink. He took off before anyone could respond, leaving Ray standing alone in confusion.

~~~

As soon as he arrived at the party Geoff went on a mission to find Griffon, within seconds he gave up however when he spotted the alcohol in the kitchen. He sent her a quick message to meet him there and poured himself a shot. He took in the amount of alcohol that was already gone and the amount still there and knew that this party was going to be a long one. After his second shot griffon emerged from the crowed with a red cup full of what looked like coke.

“Hey babe,” she greeted with a kiss on the cheek, handing him her drink and whoa yup, there was definitely vodka in that.

“How long have you been here?” he asked her giving the cup back and pouring himself a glass.

“Lindsay, Tina, and I got here like half hour ago?” she guessed. Geoff nodded, taking a sip and adding another shot to it when he noticed there wasn’t enough.

“Whoa there freshy, slow down,” a tall lanky guy told him with dark hair thrown all around.

“He’ll be fine Joel,” Griffon told him giving him a hug. _Oh, so this was the guy who was throwing the party._

“This your boyfriend Griff?” he asked looking Geoff up and down.

“Yeah, Geoff this is Joel, Joel this is Geoff,” she introduced watching as the two shook hands firmly.

“Another shot?” Joel asked with a challenging tone.

“Hell yeah,” Geoff smirked. Joel poured three glasses, handing one to Griffon and then Geoff and holding his up.

“Cheers,” he smiled. He raised his eye brow in surprise when Geoff downed his without a wince.

“So, how do you two know each other?” Geoff feigned interest as he wrapped an arm around Griffon’s shoulders and tucked her close.

“Parents work at the same law firm,” Griffon told him.

“Dude how many shots have you already had?” Joel questions.

“That’s my third, but there’s probably five in this,” he gestured to his cup nonchalantly.

“Impressive for a freshman,” Joel nodded. Geoff looked at him blankly and poured himself another. Again without a wince he swallowed it.

“Ever played beer pong?” Joel asked intrigued.

“I could give it a shot,” Geoff responded, Joel grinned and started to clear the drinks off of the table and onto the counter.

“Hey Adam, help us set up!” Joel called over to a tall bulky guy talking to a few guys in the corner, and Geoff was glad to see Jack was one of them.

“Set what up?” Adam asked making his way over.

“Gonna play some beer pong with the newbie,” he told him gesturing to Geoff.

“Really Geoff?” Jack asked shaking his head with a smile.

“Oh so this is Geoff, Jack’s told me all about you guys. Nice to meet you man,” Adam said shaking the small boys hand and beginning to do as Joel asked. Soon they had ten red cups in a pyramid on both sides of the table.

“Any takers!” Joel shouted, most of the people in the kitchen turned with interest, before two other freshmen stepped up.

“We’re in,” Matt Bragg announced, Jeremy by his side. Geoff smirked, this was gonna be easy. He hated those fuckers and the idea of getting them plastered to the point that they wouldn’t remember a thing was a nice thought.

“We’ve got this in the bag,” Joel spoke lowly for only Geoff to hear. He smirked and nodded, picking up the ping pong ball and looking at the taller man.

“Just make it bounce once?” he whispered. Joel nodded, Geoff shrugged and thought _one miss can’t hurt._ The ball bounced once and landed in the cup dead center of Matt and Jeremy’s pyramid. The crowd that had gathered cheered wildly.

“Fuck yeah!” Joel shouted giving Geoff a high five and laughing as Jeremy took the first drink, downing it quickly and wincing at the bitterness. Geoff looked at Griffon with a smirk and winked.

“Kick their asses’ sweetie,” she kissed him on the cheek and stood back in the crowd with Adam and Jack.

Only about ten minutes later there was five cups left on Joel and Geoff’s side and two on Matt and Jeremy’s. Geoff had drunk three of the five and still was only the slightest bit tipsy. Either Matt was the biggest light weight ever or he had been drinking before they started playing because he was a mess on the other side of the table. His aim was awful to begin with, it was surprising they had made it as far as they did really.

“Alright Geoff, last one’s yours,” Joel told him as he sank the ball into the second to last cup. Jeremy drank it fast and handed the ball to Matt. Matt threw the ball back and surprising got it in. Joel took the cup and chugged it. The group of kids around the table was only growing and Geoff held his hands up for silence. Most of them got real quiet and then Geoff smirked as he lightly threw the ball. It bounced once and then sunk straight into the last cup.

“Suck it bitches!” Geoff cried as the crowd erupted into obnoxious cheers. Joel, Adam, and Jack patted Geoff on the back as well as many strangers who watched as Matt drank the last one, leaning on his short friend for support.

“No way that was beginners luck,” Adam accused.

“I swear man,” Geoff held his hands up in surrender.

“Whatever man, that was awesome,” Joel said pouring two celebratory shots and handing one to Geoff.

“We should hang out sometime, bring the rest of your friends around, I’ll bring mine,” Joel told him. When Geoff nodded in agreement Joel took his phone from his pocket and thrust it towards Geoff telling him to add himself as contact and text him sometime.

“You got a good one Griff,” he told her before excusing himself to go talk to some of the other guests.

“Nice one man,” Jack told him nodding his head toward where Matt and Jeremy were stumbling through the crowd toward the living room. Jack and Adam saw some other kids from their history class and went to hang with them and finally Geoff and Griffon were alone. Well as alone as they could be in a crowded kitchen at a party.

“Want another sho-“ Griffon’s mouth was pressed against his before he could finish, but he wasn’t complaining. The kiss was anything but innocent and when she finally pulled away Geoff looked at her questioningly. “What brought this on?” he smirked.

“You were really good out there,” she said burying her face in his neck and trailing gentle kisses up to his ear. “It was really hot,” she whispered curling her fist in the front of his shirt and beginning to drag him towards the stairs.

“Whoa, Griffon are you sure about this?” Geoff asked suddenly feeling more drunk than he was.

“We aren’t having sex Geoff, just having some fun,” she rolled her eyes pulling him up the steps. He wasn’t gonna protest.

~~~

Michael and Gavin were having a good time staying in one small corner with Lindsay and Barbara, drinking slowly and just talking.

They were joking around with the queen of puns when they heard shouting from the kitchen and Gavin being the curious guy he was, wandered in. He promised Michael he’d be back in only a moment, and Michael of course believed him. He stayed with Lindsay and Barb for another ten minutes when he finally realized how long Gavin had been gone.

“I’m gonna go make sure he’s not dead somewhere,” Michael announced to the girls before raising his glass in departure and heading towards the kitchen.

He seemed to have picked a bad time to go in there though, because it seemed a giant mass of kids had chosen that moment to leave the kitchen. _Of fucking course,_ Michael thought as he pushed against the mass. He passed a very intoxicated Matt and less intoxicated Jeremy on his way and sneered in disgust, before he almost crashed into the cooler in the middle of the kitchen. He looked around and saw no sign of the Brit, but he saw Jack, so he went over to ask him and was handed a beer from him. A tall guy standing with him was pouring out shots when Michael appeared, he handed him one and introduced himself as Adam.

“Michael,” the red head answered, downing the shot and turning to Jack. “Where’s Gavin?” he asked. He didn’t want to be rude, but he was missing his boi.

“He’s not with you?” Jack asked worriedly.

“He was, he came in here to see what all the screaming was about and poof,” Michael made an explosion gesture with his hands, “gone,” he finished.

“Hmmmm, I haven’t seen him man, sorry,” Jack apologized.

“It’s cool, I’ll ask Ryan,” Michael said taking one more shot and walking across the room towards the fridge where he saw Ryan sulking with a cup in his hand. His eyes were slightly blood shot and Michael immediately knew something was wrong.

“Michael!” he exclaimed when his friend stepped near him.

“Have you been drinking Rye-bread?” Michael asked taking his cup from him and taking a sip. Yeah he was drinking alright.

“Only a ‘ittle,” Ryan slurred.

“What happened to you and Ray staying sober?”

“Don’ wanna talk ‘bout it,” Ryan snapped causing Michael’s eyes to widen. “Why aren’t you ov’r there with Gav’n?” it took Michael a second to understand what Ryan was asking, but he followed where Ryan had been pointing and found Gavin leaning against a wall talking closely to some red headed girl that Michael vaguely remembers seeing around school.

“I’ve been looking for him,” Michael mumbled. Ryan took one look at Michael and offered him his drink, and since it was stronger than Michael’s beer he graciously took it and chugged it only wincing a little. “Who is she?” he asked.

“Meg somthin,” Ryan answered, Michael didn’t know any Meg’s so he just shrugged and leaned back with Ryan against the counter. “You aren’ gonna go over there?” Ryan was confused.

“I can’t just go over there,” Michael sighed.

“Yes ya can, go take ‘im back,” Ryan told him going to the fridge and grabbing a new beer.

“He’s not mine Ryan,” Michael chuckled at the drunk man.

“He is,” Ryan insisted, “you got ta tell ‘im before ‘e’s gone though,”

“Ryan, Gavin and I aren’t gay,” Michael was trying really hard not to laugh at the poor boy. Ryan mumbled something under his breath. “What?”

“Nothin,” Ryan shook his head leaning back and closing his eyes.

“Ryan, where’s Ray?” Michael asked and startled at how quickly Ryan’s head snapped to look at him.

“Probably downstairs wit’ Tina,” he sounded real sober in that second and Michael knew something must’ve happened between the two.

“What happened with him and Tina?”

“Don’ wanna talk ‘bout it,” Ryan repeated his previous words. Michael filled his cup with more vodka and leaned back next to Ryan.

“Then we won’t talk about it,” Michael concluded.

The two stood in silence for a long while continually filling their cups with drinks and occasionally making comments about the music or the loud people around them. When Michael had finished his second cup of straight vodka the room was beginning to spin. He had been in countless drinking competitions with Geoff and while he had never won he liked to believe he wasn’t this much of a lightweight.

The more he drank the more he hated the sight of Gavin and Meg talking so closely to each other. Gavin was single and this girl probably was too, and that was a very big problem here. Michael suddenly felt the need to go over and show her that Gavin was _his._ He wasn’t sure why he was so jealous really. He figured it was because if Gavin got a girlfriend then he’d have less time for Michael, and that didn’t sit right with the red head.

“Fuck it,” Michael voiced suddenly. Ryan turned to him slowly and hummed to show he was listening. “I’m gon go see what the fuck’s so specal ‘bout ‘er,” he announced stepping off the wall and shuffling over to them.

As he stepped up to the two he heard Gavin laughing at something and could instantly tell that he was drunk. The girl appeared to be on her way there though and Michael couldn’t help the glare he sent her as he attached himself to Gavin.

“’eyy Gabrin,” Michael giggled. Gavin looked surprised for a minute before he smiled at his drunken friend.

“Meg, this’s my little Michael,” Gavin motioned to the boy hanging off his arm and grinned toothily at her. She introduced herself and stepped back slightly, an awkward atmosphere taking over them.

“I’m sorry I didn’t know you were taken,” she told them apologetically. Michael’s arm snaked it’s way around Gavin’s lithe waist and buried his face in Gavin’s shoulder to hide his grin.

“’m not,” Gavin told her confused. Michael hissed, not that Gavin noticed.

“Oh?” Meg asked one perfect eye brow raised in question. She looked between the two suspiciously before Gavin nodded. “In that case,” she started. She told him to wait right where he was and that she’d be back in a second; she then disappeared into the crowd.

“What’re you doin?” Gavin asked Michael whose arm had tightened around Gavin’s waist.

“Standin wit’ you silly,” Michael slurred.

Meg returned then, with a pen in her hand and grabbed Gavin’s arm, writing her name and number on it, “call me tomorrow,” she told him before leaving with a wink.

Gavin looked down at his arm in shock before a smile over took his face. Michael glared down at the arm until Gavin looked at him; smile so wide Michael almost felt guilty for being upset.

“Can you believe it Michael?” Gavin whispered eyes wide.

“No, I can’t believe you Gavin,” Michael seethed. Gavin looked at him confused but before he could say anything Michael had stormed off leaving Gavin standing in shock.

~~~

The night had been going quite well for Ryan, he caught up with some friends he hadn’t seen since summer and watched as teenagers drank themselves to the point of no return and danced like animals in the living room. He had eventually gone looking for Ray and soon found him and managed to get him into his arms, only for a short time, but still.

However Ryan had to fuck it all up by playing seven minutes in heaven. _What’s the worst that could happen? Fucking everything._ All he wanted was the chance to kiss Ray, but nope he had to watch as Ray went in with one of their best friends and came out looking sexed up. Ryan couldn’t get out of there fast enough, so he ran to the kitchen and started drinking and ended up watching Gavin flirt with some girl on the other side of the room for a bit. Soon though Michael was by his side drinking right with him and while Ryan thought maybe being with friends might make him feel better he really only felt worse. And watching Michael get mad at Gavin and storm over there had been interesting for all of two minutes really.

Soon Jack was by his side pulling his drink away and shaking his head. “What are you doing man? I’ve been watching you over here for like twenty minutes,” he voiced concerned. Ryan glared at him, crossing his arms and leaning back. “Come on, talk to me,” Jack pleaded becoming increasingly worried as the silence stretched out between them.

“Just, don’ worry ‘bout it,” Ryan told him eventually and Jack sighed.

Jack stayed by him for another couple of minutes, watching those around them and making sure Ryan didn’t reach for another drink. Soon though, Michael was making his way back to them with three beers, offering one of each of them and keeping one for himself. Jack took Ryan’s and told him he was done for the night. Ryan sulked by agreed that Jack was probably right.

“e’s so frustring,” Michael blurted.

“Who?” Jack asked, already knowing the answer.

“Gav,” Michael pouted. “wit the girl,” Michael explained, Jack looked at Ryan for help but found none.

“I see,” he responded.

“I hate ‘im,” the drunk boy grumbled.

“Sure ya do,” Jack nodded.

The three stood in silence, Ryan and Michael pouting while Jack tried to think of a way to gather their other three friends and leave. However all thoughts stopped when the very drunk duo of Matt and Jeremy walked up to them and stopped.

“Wher’s the fag?” Jeremy howled. He and Matt practically fell over themselves laughing.

“Yea, he off getting’ screwed by som’ guy?” Matt added.

Jack jumped when he heard the sound of glass shattering. He looked down to find Michael’s beer bottle in pieces on the ground. Jack looked at Ryan who had seemed to sober up just the slightest bit. They all knew Matt and Jeremy had a problem with Gavin, but they had never mentioned anything in front of Michael purposely.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Michael seethed, stepping away from the fridge and getting in Matt’s face. He sounded completely sober and Jack knew that this was about to get bad real quick.

“He’s. A. Fag,” Matt enunciated.

Michael looked at Ryan for a second, a silent agreement made between the two and soon Matt was on the ground clutching his nose, blood beginning to pour out between the cracks in his fingers. Jeremy didn’t waste a moment, pouncing at Michael and hitting him square across the face, but before he could swing again Ryan had him pinned, his fist coming down across his fast repeatedly.

“Fuck my life,” Jack muttered as kids began to crowd around them, screaming and cheering as the four rolled around the ground trading blows, blood flying everywhere.

“Jack, as much as I love a good fight, you should probably get them out of here,” Adam said appearing next to him.

“I don’t know where Geoff is,” Jack admitted and Adam smirked.

“Pretty sure he and his girlfriend went upstairs after his victory,” Adam told him. Jack nodded and asked where Joel’s bedroom would be before he bolted up the stairs.

~~~

“What’s all that yelling?” Griffon asked pushing Geoff off of her slightly.

“We should probably go check it out,” Geoff said, beginning to stand. She shook her head and giggled before pulling him back down.

“Not that important,” she whispered before reattaching her mouth to his. Geoff smirked against her lips and kissed her harder. They had been up there for almost an hour, kissing and cuddling and Geoff couldn’t really be happier. That was until, Jack smashed through the doorway, throwing it open and jumping when it crashed into the wall behind it.

“Michael and Ryan are in a fight,” he told them turning on his heels and running back to the kitchen.

“Come on,” Geoff told her sighing and climbing off the bed and helping her up before running out the door and making his way down after Jack.

“You’re a fucking piece of shit Bragg!” was the first thing Geoff heard as he pushed his way through the crowd of chanting kids. The first thing he saw was blood splattered all over the floor, before his eyes finally settled on Ryan and Jeremy rolling over each other and pounding each other’s faces in, and Michael mounted on Matt digging his knuckles into Matt’s face over and over again while blood dripped down Michael’s own face.

“Fucking hell,” Geoff sighed as he moved to Ryan first with Jack by his side and tried pulling him and Jeremy apart. That however, turned out to be really hard, as Ryan seemed intent on murdering Jeremy.

“Ryan!” Geoff turned around quickly to see a startled and shaking Ray standing next to an also scared and shaking Gavin who was watching Michael in horror. Ryan whipped up and made eye contact with Ray, before completely letting Jeremy go and jumping away from him.

The crowd was disappointed as they stopped fighting but kept watching Michael and Matt intensely.

“Michael?” Gavin asked stepping forward only to be held back by Ray.

“Don’t,” he whispered.

Michael only got angrier when he saw Gavin, he thought about what Matt and Jeremy had said about him and started hitting faster and harder before eventually Jack, Geoff, and Ryan all grabbed him and heaved backwards with all their strength pulling him off, and tumbling onto the floor with him.

“Michael, enough,” Geoff sternly told him when he tried wiggling away. Michael froze and looked down at the floor to avoid the crowd beginning to quite down around them.

“Nothing to see here,” Griffon told them pushing her way to her friends and shooing them away. She wrapped her arms around Ray and Gavin and led them to the door way where she found Joel standing and smirking.

“Impressive group of friends you got Griff,” he told her.

“I’m really sorry,” she said ushering Ray and Gavin out the door and telling them to wait for everyone.

“What the hell was that?” Gavin asked him, Ray just shrugged before wrapping an arm around Gavin and pulling him closer.

“I don’t know, Gav,” Ray said as Geoff followed by Ryan, Jack, Griffon and finally Michael made their way out the door.

“Come on assholes, let’s go home,” Geoff grumbled beginning to walk down the street. He was fuming, he came to the stupid party to have a good time, and by the end of the night he had three drunken friends, two that had just gotten in a fist fight and were still covered in blood, and two that were confused beyond belief and scared to talk to anybody.

“Calm down,” Griffon whispered coming up next to him and wrapping her hand around his. Geoff took a deep breath and smiled at her before turning around and taking attendance in his mind. Gavin and Ray were walking behind him, arms linked and eyes forward. Geoff didn’t think he could forget the look of terror on their faces when they saw two of their best friends covered in blood and beating two kids to near death. Geoff was gonna have a stern talk with Michael and Ryan later. Behind them was Jack keeping a barrier between them and the final two who wouldn’t look up from the ground.

Geoff sighed as he and Griffon reached the end of the street and she leaned on her tip toes to kiss him goodnight and made her way back to Joel’s house to wait for her friends to go home. Geoff spent the rest of the walk with Jack between the other four in silence.

Once they made it back to Michael’s house they made their way inside and went straight to the living room where they began to set up their beds.

“Okay, real talk now,” Geoff started and rolled his eyes when Michael and Ryan groaned. “What the fuck happened?” Ryan looked at Jack and Michael and signaled for them to talk.

“Fuck that, Ryan why were you even drinking in the first place?” Jack snapped. Ray looked over from where he was setting up with Gavin on the floor by the bookcase Michael’s parents had.

“It doesn’t matter,” he shrugged.

“Oh yes it does,” Geoff said standing face to face with Ryan and glaring at him. “But first, who started it?” he asked looking at Ryan and Michael.

“They did,” Michael muttered.

“Ryan, is this true?” Geoff looked at the taller man.

“Yes,” Geoff turned to Jack with a raised eye brow and he nodded.

“They were trash talking Gav,” he admitted causing the Brit to bolt up from the ground.

“What?” he squeaked.

“I’m not repeating it,” Michael snapped.

“That’s not what I was asking,” Gavin began, “why the hell did you fight them?”

“I wasn’t just gonna let them get away with saying what they did!” Michael yelled.

“You’re a bloody idiot then,” Gavin said calmly.

“What?” Michael got right in Gavin’s face. Bruised eye and busted lip even more noticeable up close.

“If you give them the attention they want then they won’t stop,” Gavin explained.

“Wait, so you’re telling me that I should’ve just let them run their mouths?” Michael seethed.

“Yes,” Gavin stated.

“You’re a dumbass,” Michael scoffed. Gavin rolled his eyes before turning away and walking down the hall with his sleeping bag. “Where the fuck are you going?” Michael asked starting after him.

“I’m going to sleep in the dining room,” Gavin called behind him.

“I’ll go with him,” Ray announced grabbing his stuff and shuffling after Gav. When Michael took a step forward Geoff placed his hand on Michael’s chest, stopping him.

“Let them go. Gavin’s confused and upset right now; if you go in there it’ll fuck everything up. Let Ray take care of him,” he ordered.

“Fine,” Michael whispered climbing into his sleeping bag and zipping it all the way up, burrowing down so he couldn’t be seen.

Geoff shut the light off and they all climbed into bed. “We will finish this in the morning,” he told them before turning over and shutting his eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed it. Freshmen year will be wrapping up in about two chapters probably FYI. Remember you can find me on tumblr under the same name I have here but I'm too dumb to know how to link so sorry! Hope to hear from some of ya.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry this took so long I had too much going on to work on it sadly. First, I wanna apologize for the first bit of this chapter, I just don't think it was very well written but I wasn't sure where else to go with it all. Anyway, I'm gonna warn you all in advance that Tina/Ray makes another appearance, though this will be the last one really as the next chapter will be wrapping up freshman year, but only as more of a summary about the last few months of it. It'll probably be more of a filler with a few important scenes really. Anyway I hope you all enjoy this and I hope to hear from some of you!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Gavin woke up the next morning around nine AM and was met with a pounding headache and blurry eyes. He was confused on why he was on the hardwood floor of Michael’s dining room before remembering everything. He slowly sat up and looked to his right to see Ray still sleeping peacefully next to him. He silently stood up and tip toed into the living room as quietly as he could.

He looked around and saw that Geoff and Jack had distanced themselves from Ryan and Michael, who were bundled up in their sleeping bags. Gavin was still pissed at Michael for his childish actions the night before so he decided that he would leave before Michael woke up. This way it would give them each some time to think before getting into a huge argument.

He crept to Geoff’s sleeping bag and lightly poked him in the head, repeatedly whispering his name until he began to stir. “What the fuck do you want?” Geoff mumbled, slapping Gavin’s hand away and glaring up at him.

“I’m going home,” Gavin told him lowly. Geoff looked up at him and sighed before throwing the covers back and crawling out of his sleeping bag, grabbing Gavin and tugging him into the dining room.

“You sure?” Geoff asked.

“I don’t want to fight with him this early Geoff,” Gavin told him. Geoff nodded but before he could say anything the other boy in the room was waking up.

“What time’s’it?” Ray yawned rubbing at his eyes.

“Almost nine thirty,” Geoff told him as Gavin began to roll his sleeping back and pack it away.

“What’re you doing?” Ray sat up.

“I’m gonna go home,” Gavin explained. Ray was standing in front of him in seconds. A new record for Ray probably.

“Dude, do you understand what kind of hell Michael is gonna unleash when he wakes up and you aren’t there?” Ray inquired.

“Do you know what kind of hell he’ll unleash if I _am_ here,” Gavin countered.

“You do have a point,” Ray told him rubbing at the back of his neck. “Why don’t we go back to my house, we can play video games and relax,” Ray suggested leaning down to roll his sleeping bag up too.

“You don’t wanna stay?” Geoff asked. Ray quickly shook his head.

“Ryan seems to hate me right now, I’m not staying for that bomb to blow,” Ray said quickly.

Geoff nodded in understanding but before he could do anything else he noticed a dark purple mark on Ray's neck. "Holy shit," he shook his head, "is that a hickey?" he smirked. Gavin's head whipped to the side to look at it.

"Yeah," Ray covered it with his hand, "it's kind of a long story," he said sheepishly. The other two decided not to ask for now and let Ray call his mom.

The three waited at the table for Ray’s mom to arrive and soon she was pulling up and texting Ray. Jack was beginning to stir at that point so Geoff quickly ushered the two out the front door and went back to get his hands on his friend.

“Jack, kitchen, now,” Geoff commanded. Jack followed Geoff into the kitchen, sitting down across from him and waiting patiently.

“I want to hear everything you remember from last night, I won’t tell the other two dumb fucks a thing,” Geoff told him.

“I honestly don’t know much man, Ryan was drinking for some reason and Michael’s always pissed,” Jack shrugged. “I was talking to them and they were complaining and suddenly Matt and Jeremy appeared and started shit talking Gav. Michael told them to stop and soon there was blood and cheers,” Jack joked. Geoff was unimpressed.

“Why the fuck was Ryan drinking so much?” Geoff asked.

“Geoff, I don’t know,” Jack said calmly. “He just was; I’m guessing it has something to do with Ray. Speaking of, where is Ray?” Jack asked standing and walking into the dining room, he came back quickly with a panicked look on his face. “Gavin’s gone too?”

“They left literally two minutes before you woke up,” Geoff chuckled.  
  
“Oh,” Jack said in understanding. “Michael’s gonna be piss-“

“Yeah I know,” Geoff waved him off.

“Should we wake them up now?” Jack asked making his way towards the living room. Geoff nodded and followed him. As soon as they were in the living room Geoff was turning the TV on to its highest volume and blasting MTV’s top 40’s. Michael was quick to rise, scrambling out of his sleeping bag and looking frantically for the remote. Ryan pulled his pillow over his head and smashed his face in the floor, clearly hung over.

“What the actual fuck Geoff!” Michael screamed when Geoff held the remote in front of him with a cocky smirk. His left eye was still black and purple and his lip was split open, his arms were covered in scratches and bruises, frankly, he looked like shit.

“Good morning!” Geoff cried cheerily.

“I fucking hate you,” Ryan groaned from his place on the floor.

“Good, get up,” Geoff told him ripping the pillow away from Ryan’s face. He sighed in relief when he noticed that all Ryan had to show from last night was a medium sized bruise on his left cheek.

“Do we really have to talk about this now?” Ryan snapped, reaching for his pillow and cowering at the glare he received.

“Yes, Ryan. We have to do this now,” Geoff told him.

“I’ll go get Gavin and Ray then,” Michael grumbled as he stomped his way towards the dining room. Jack looked at Geoff worriedly and waited for it. The stomping stopped and then Michael was right back in the living room rounding on him and Geoff. “Where are they?” he asked calmly.

“They went to Ray’s, left about twenty minutes ago,” Geoff replied.

“Why didn’t anyone wake me up?” Michael questioned.

“You and Gavin having a screaming match first thing in the morning? I don’t think so,” Geoff crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow while Michael tried to come up with something to say.

“Fine,” Michael sighed. Geoff pointed at the couch and waited for Michael to sit before tugging at Ryan’s arm and half dragging half carrying him over. Once the two were sitting on the couch side by side Geoff began.

“Ryan why were you drinking? What happened man?” Geoff was really concerned and Ryan almost felt bad. Well bad aside from the pounding headache he had at that moment. The walls were slightly shaking and Ryan was sure he was gonna start to lose it.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he responded.

“Dude, come on,” Geoff pleaded.

“No,” Ryan said sternly.

“Fine,” Geoff tried to remain calm but he was already at a tipping point with those two.

The next half hour was spent by Geoff having the two repeat the story over and over to see if he could get some new information, but nothing new was offered.

“Michael, why the fuck were you so mad with Gavin?” Jack asked suddenly.

“He ditched me for some girl,” Michael mumbled. Geoff and Jack understood immediately, but rolled their eyes and immediately moved on, not really caring.

“Big woop, you’re still a dumbass,” Geoff threw his hands up. Both boys were pouting on the couch and Geoff was too annoyed to continue, “I give up do whatever the fuck you guys want. I gotta date with Griffon in like five hours, bye,” Geoff said beginning to pack his belongings.

“Ryan, you coming over or not?” Jack asked the taller boy.

“Yeah, just let me grab my shit,” he told him.

Soon the remaining three boys were done packing and were saying their goodbyes to Michael.

~~~

“Can you believe that? They were being completely irresponsible, what if they had broken something? A bone or something expensive of Joel’s parents,” Gavin ranted. Ray sat next to him in his bed, nodding along and trying not to kick Gavin’s ass too hard in COD.

“I don’t know man, he was pretty drunk,” Ray offered shooting Gavin in the head, ending the match.

“Why are you so calm about all this? Ryan was in there too,”

“I think he’s mad at me,” Ray admitted.

“Why?”

“Well, we were in the basement and we got pulled into a game of seven minutes in heaven,” Ray started. Gavin wiggled his eye brows before Ray shook his head. “Tina was there. She was pretty tipsy, and I had to go in with her,” he said.

“Is that how you got that?” Gavin asked nodding towards Ray's neck. When Ray nodded Gavin leaned closer, "how was it?" he asked wiggling his eye brows. 

“Not bad?” Ray said hesitantly. “I mean she tasted slightly like alcohol, but her lips were soft and it was… nice,” he finished.

“Wait, what does that have to do with Ryan?” Gavin questioned.

“I don’t know!” Ray shouted throwing himself back on the bed. Gavin jumped back at the outburst.

“What do you mean you don’t know?” Now Gavin was really confused.

“I mean,” Ray emphasized, “that I don’t know,” he finished.

“How the bloody hell can you not know,” Gavin questioned.

“Gavin, I was trapped in a closet for seven minutes with a drunk girl. I must’ve missed something because when I came out Ryan was pissed and he immediately took off,”

“Do you think someone said or did something while you were in there?” Gavin asked.

“I don’t know dude,” Ray said again covering his face with his hands.

“Maybe you should talk to him now that he’s sober,” Gavin offered.

“Probably,” he shrugged. “Now enough about me, what are you really so mad with Michael?”

“He was just acting really weird all night,” Gavin said passingly.

“What do you mean?”

“He was pretty much ignoring me, then I went into the kitchen and met a girl,” his face turned bright red.

“Oh?” Ray smirked.

“Her name’s Meg, we talked for a while. But then bloody Michael comes out of nowhere and attaches himself to me,” Gavin rants. “Meg thought we were a thing for Christ sake! And Michael didn’t even try to correct her,” he huffed.

“Did you really want him to though?” Ray asked softly.

“What d’you mean?”

“Come on man, we all know you’re like, in love with him,” Ray exclaimed.

“I am not!” Gavin squawked.

“Really,” Ray challenged.

“Maybe a little,” Gavin squeaked.

“Thought so,” the other nodded.

“It doesn’t matter, he was a right prick,” Gavin declared.

“How so?” Ray decided to humor him.

“Meg gave me her number and Michael stormed off and the next thing I know, there’s a fist fight in the kitchen and who’s involved? Michael!” he snapped.

“Dude, you got her number?” Ray asked impressed.

“Yeah,” the Brit shrugged.

“Call her!” Ray exclaimed.

“Why?” Gavin asked.

“Maybe she’ll help you get over Michael?” he suggested.

“But what if Michael gets upset again?” Gavin asked and, wow, Ray almost slapped him.

“Really? You’re gonna let Michael dictate everything you do?” he raised an eyebrow and sighed when Gavin looked down in shame.

“You’re right,” Gavin whispered.

“Damn straight,” Ray said crossing his arms, “call her,” he said throwing Gavin’s phone at him.

Gavin fumbled with it in his hands for a few seconds before finally securing his grip. He typed the number from his hand into the keypad and before he could chicken out he hit the call button.

The first few minutes of the phone call were giving Ray second hand embarrassment from how awkward Gavin was. He couldn’t stop babbling and apologizing. Finally Gavin let out a heartfelt laugh and excused himself from Ray’s room.

As soon as the door shut behind him Ray was debating whether to call Tina or not. While he had had a good time in those short seven minutes the previous night, he wasn’t sure if she was what he wanted. He was never really sure what he wanted when it came to his relationships or sexuality. In elementary school he was pretty sure he was in love with Lindsay until the third grade when he met a girl named Dakota. She was a pretty blond girl that kissed him under the monkey bars at recess. She moved shortly after and that was the end of that. Then he was absolutely positive that he was in love with Gavin until around the end of fifth grade.

The thing was, even if Ray was sure he had feelings for someone, he was never sure what he actually wanted with that person. He never really felt like he wanted to actually be with them. Lindsay was a great friend and he’d go to her with his problems all the times. She always gave him a shoulder to lean on and gave amazing advice, but Ray did not want to ‘spend his life with her’ or anything like that.

As for Gavin, Ray had always thought he was attractive, but Ray only liked cuddling with the Brit because they were the two smallest, and Gavin was the only one that let Ray be the big spoon. Plus, Ray knew if he tried having anything more with Gavin Michael would probably chop Ray’s dick off. And Ray was quite fond of that thank you.

Then there was Ryan. The Lads and Gents had gone to two different elementary schools in the area, and since there was only one middle and high school they were thrown together in sixth grade. The six managed to have history class together and found that they all had every other class with at least one other. Soon they were sitting together at lunch every day. Ryan and Ray had always been the quietest of the group, so it was no surprise when the two would pair up at game nights kicking everyone’s asses with Ray’s skills and Ryan’s logic. And thus, the R&R Connection was born. Ryan was exactly what Ray thought he needed, but again Ray was confused about what he needed him as.

It was toward the end of sixth grade when Ray realized however, that Ryan was far too good for him. He was attractive and smart and so so talented, and so Ray came to the conclusion that it was a lost cause. He pushed the feelings to the back of his mind and spent the rest of middle school trying to focus on work and grades. He did need some help every now and then and since Ryan was the smartest, he and Ray could often be found in the library during lunch and after school. Whenever the feelings resurfaced though, Ray would tell himself it was just because they were becoming best friends.

Now it’s freshmen year and Ray’s never dated anyone, and he’s kind of tired of it really. So he picked up his phone and called Tina. It only rang twice before she answered.  
  
“Hey man,” she said cheerily.

“Hey Tina,”

“What’s up?” he could hear rustling from her end and assumed she was in bed.

“Well, uh, I wanted to uh,” now that he was actually on the phone with her he had no idea how to approach the subject.

“Is this about last night?” she giggled. At least she remembers, Ray thought.

“Yes,” he nodded even though she couldn’t see him. “I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?” he sounded so unsure of himself, if Gavin were in the room he’s sure he would’ve been punched.

“Look Ray,” she started. Fuck. “It was fun, but I was drunk and it didn’t,” she paused, “it didn’t _mean_ anything,” she finished.

“That’s fine,” he shrugged.

“It’s fine?” she questioned slowly.

“Yeah, it didn’t mean anything, so what? Doesn’t mean we can’t hang out,” he was making a mess for the near future, he could feel it.

“Like hang out or _hang out_ ,” her voice dropped an octave or two.

Ray took a deep breath, he was always horrible at this sort of stuff, he could either let it go and choose the first one and wonder what if. Or he could say the second one and risk looking like a fool. “The second one,” he said, he could feel his face heating up. He screwed his eyes shut and waited for her response.

She hummed for a second, “I wouldn’t mind that, but Ray, I’m not looking for anything serious,” she warned him.

“Doesn’t have to be,”

“Okay,” she said evenly. “Do you wanna come over tonight?”

“Yeah, sure,” he said. They agreed on a time and hung up. Ray let out a long sigh before flipping back on his bed and covering his flaming face with his hands.

It was almost another ten minutes before Gavin returned from the hallway, face equally as red. He took one look at Ray before he quickly sat down next to his friend.

“What happened?” he asked.

“I called Tina,” he said but his words were mumbled by his hands.

“Seriously?” Gavin squawked.

“Oh yes,” he shook his head.

“What happened?”

“I’m going over tonight,” he said. Gavin’s jaw dropped and he started laughing. “Not funny!” Ray squealed.

“You sound so miserable about it,” Gavin chuckled.

“It’s not serious though,” Ray told him. Gavin nodded slowly and patted Ray on the knee.

"As long as you don't get hurt man," Gavin told him.

Ray smiled at him but waved his concern off, “whatever, what about you?”

Gavin then went on to tell him all about him and Meg’s conversation and their agreement to meet for lunch the next day. Ray listened carefully and helped Gavin every time he’d accidentally tail off and go into a rant about Michael or nerves. Finally he was done talking and noticed that it was almost three in the afternoon and that it was probably time for him to go home. They said their goodbyes and as soon as the door was closed behind him Ray went to his room and had a mini freak out. Eventually he decided to lay down for a few hours before he had to leave.

~~~

“Look I don’t need any more lectures,” Ryan told him turning the Xbox on.

“I wasn’t gonna give you one,” Jack defended. Ryan raised an eyebrow and leaned back in his chair. “Promise,” he placed a hand over his heart.

“Okay,” Ryan said. The silence stretched between the two for a long moment. Jack was idly pressing buttons on his controller while they waited for the map to load.

Ryan knew he could tell Jack everything he normally did, but he wasn’t sure about this though. He knew he’d get an ‘I told you so’ and some teasing for a while and Ryan wasn’t sure if he wanted that right now. _Fuck it_ , he thought, _this is Jack, he knows everything._

They were only ten kills into the first match when Ryan blurted, “it was because of Ray,”

“What was because of Ray?” Jack asked not sounding surprised at all.

“We were in the basement, Tina and some friends were playing seven minutes in heaven, and I kind of dragged Ray into it,” he explained. Jack immediately knew what happened.

“Someone got Ray,” he concluded.

“Tina did,” Ryan nodded not taking his eyes off the screen. “And Ray seemed to have enjoyed it quite a bit,” Ryan snarled.

“What do you mean?”

“He had a hickey,” Ryan said gloomily. Jack laughed which caused Ryan to pause the game and whip his head to the right. “It’s not funny,” he seethed.

“It kind of it,” Jack began, “was she drunk?”

“Well yeah, but he wasn’t!” Ryan exclaimed.

“So? You think he was gonna push her off? He would’ve been afraid of her crying,” he pointed out.

“You’re probably right,” Ryan told him.

“Yeah I am,” Jack agreed. “And why did that piss you off so much?” Jack smirked.

“Well,” Ryan looked down, “I might have just the slightest crush on Ray,” he admitted.

“Oh? Oh really?” the sarcasm was dripping in his tone.  
  
“I know,” Ryan sighed defeated.  
  
“Before we continue I’d just like to say that I totally fucking told you so,” the ginger boy cheered.  
  
“Yes you did,” Ryan sighed again. He ended the game and lay back on Jack’s bed, staring at the ceiling.  
  
“But seriously man, it meant nothing,” Jack told him.  
  
“You don’t know that,” Ryan cried.  
  
“You act like you haven’t known Ray for three years,” Jack laughed, “he never knows what he wants. I don’t think a drunken hook up will influence anything,” Jack explained.  
  
“But it’s not like I’d know even if he did like me,” Ryan whined.  
  
“Then you’ll need an inside man. Like Gavin!” Jack exclaimed.  
  
“Not Gavin,” Ryan was quick to decline.  
  
“Why not?” Gavin would be the best person to ask for something like that honestly.  
  
“If I get too chummy with Gav, Michael will throw a fit,” he explained and yeah Jack thought he has a point.  
  
“Then why not Michael?” he suggested.  
  
“Gavin’ll be a ‘mingy piss pot,’” Ryan said with air quotes.  
  
“Geoff?” Jack asked.  
  
“Too busy with Griffon, plus I would need a Lad,” he sighed, “Gavin it is then,” he concluded.  
  
“I can take Michael if he gets pissy,” Jack assued.  
  
“Thanks,”  
  
“How are you gonna get back into Ray’s good graces then?”  
  
“I’ll figure it out,” Ryan waved him off.  
  
“He’s always soft with you, I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” Jack said nonchalantly, Ryan smiled gently.

~~~  
  
Ray stood on Tina’s front porch for another five minutes before finally mustering up the courage to knock on her door. A second later Tina was opening the door and smiling at him; she opened it wider and motioned him inside.  
  
Ray kicked off his shoes at the door and waited for further instruction. Tina rolled her eyes before she grabbed his hand, dragged him up the stairs and into her bedroom, shutting the door behind them.  
  
The room was fairly large with purple walls and a black carpet; there was a dresser across the room with a TV on top and a jewelry box next to it. Her bed was covered in pillows and soft blankets. Ray sat on in next to her and released a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  
  
“So…” she began. Ray gave her a small smile before looking back at the floor. “Okay Ray, why did you really call?” she asked.  
  
“I had fun last night,” he shrugged. “I thought maybe…” he trailed off.  
  
“You wanted to do it again?” she smirked.  
  
“Maybe?” he squeaked. “I- look Tina, I have absolutely no experience when it comes to this stuff and I thought maybe you could help me?” he said unsurely.  
  
“I’ll help you,” she told him, “but you need to promise, this doesn’t mean we’re gonna be together. We aren’t going to go on dates or be all over each other in school. It’s just help,” she explained.  
  
“I promise,” he said crossing his hand over his heart.  
  
“You’re such a dweeb,” she chuckled leaning closer to him.  
  
“I know,” he whispered meeting her half way and pressing his mouth to hers. She smiled into it and pressed harder. And _wow_ , Ray thought, _if I thought it was nice while she was drunk, it’s fucking amazing when she’s sober._  
  
Soon Ray found himself lying on his back with Tina hovering over him, one hand on the bed next to his head, the other holding her hair out of her face. Ray unsure of what to do with his hands kept them on her thighs above him before she finally grabbed both of them and put them on her hips. Ray squeezed gently as she placed both her hands on his chest and began working her way down to his neck as she had the previous night.  
  
Ray ran his hands up and down her sides, along her arms and down her back for a while before they settled back on her hips. His neck was covered in red bruises and his lips were swollen and puffy. He decided to give it a try himself, so he slowly detached their lips from each other’s and made his way down to where her neck met her shoulder before sucking gently.  
  
They had been kissing touching each other everywhere for a long time before Ray realized he had a ‘friend’ in his downstairs. “Maybe we should stop for a bit,” he said pushing lightly on her shoulders. When she sat up and looked at him questioningly he lifted his hips just slightly to show her why.  
  
“Oh,” she giggled rolling off of him and fixing her hair.  
  
“Sorry,” he whispered, his face on fire.  
  
“Totally normal Ray,” she laughed. She turned the TV on and gave him some time to breathe and cool down before noticing the time. “You should probably go soon, my parents will get suspicious,” she explained.  
  
He nodded and called his mom, who told him it would be about twenty minutes. They hung up and as soon as he told Tina how long it would be she was back on him. Not that Ray minded.  
  
“You’re really good at this,” she whispered against his mouth.  
  
“Yeah?” he panted.  
  
“Yeah,” she said reattaching herself to him. She pressed her chest against his tightly and rocked against him.  
  
They stayed like that until his mom texted him that she was there and they were pulling away from each other. They promised to hang out again Monday after school and then Ray was rushing down the stairs with his hoodie in front of his crotch and sloppily putting on his shoes.  
  
He smiled like an idiot the whole way home.  
  
~~~  
“Dude your face is all kinds of fucked up,” Lindsay greeted when she walked in. After many hours of moping around the house bored Michael decided to call Lindsay and have her over to hang out.  
  
“Thanks,” Michael deadpanned.  
  
“Your own fault man,” she told him. He shrugged and followed her into the living room. “So what happened last night anyway?” she asked patting the seat next to her on the couch. Right to the point as always.  
  
“Don’t wanna talk about it right now,” he shook his head and turned the TV on. He sat next to her and they sat silently, watching TV for almost an hour before she grabbed the remote and turned it off. She turned to him expectantly.  
  
Michael sighed and got more comfortable in his seat before he told her. He told her the night’s events from start to finish and added waking up that morning. He told her about Meg and Gavin, he told her what Matt and Jeremy said, he told her every single thing that pissed him off the night before.  
  
“I don’t know why I got so upset,” he sighed running a hand through his hair.  
  
“Because Gavin is your best friend,” Lindsay shrugged.  
  
“Yeah, I guess,” he mumbled.  
  
“Or maybe that’s not it,” she started. “Maybe he’s more than that?” she asked with a raised eye brow.  
  
“No way,” he waved her off.  
  
“Are you sure?”  
  
“Well yeah, this is Gavin we’re talking about, plus, I’m not gay,”  
  
“You don’t have to be gay to fall for one guy,” she told him.

He thought about it for a long minute, maybe she has a point. Or maybe, he thought, I’m confusing our friendship for something more, he concluded. That’s definitely it. “I don’t like Gavin like that,” he said sternly.  
  
“Okay,” Lindsay held her hands up in surrender.  
  
“I just, I don’t know okay? I just… got upset,” he wrapped his arms around himself, looking at the ground while Lindsay smirked at him.  
  
“I don’t know what to tell you Michael. It seems to me that you were jealous,” she shrugged.  
  
“I was not,” he snarled. “I just didn’t get a good feeling from this girl,” he told her. She nodded at him and decided to drop it for now.  
  
“Well then what are you gonna do now?” she asked.  
  
“What do you mean?” he looked at her.  
  
“Apologizing for being stupid,” she told him.  
  
“I don’t know really,” he shrugged.  
  
“He was really worried about you. I saw his face last night, I didn’t like it one bit. You wouldn’t have either,” she said.  
  
“I know,” he sighed.  
  
“You should make this better sooner rather than later,” she said. He nodded and grabbed his phone texting his mom that he’d be staying at Gavin’s for the night and he’d be taking the bus. She gave him the okay and that was the end of that.  
  
“I’m going to his house,” he told Lindsay.  
  
“Right now?”  
  
“Right now,” he confirmed. She smiled at him and called her mom asking her to pick her up.  
  
They sat on the couch together while they waited, talking aimlessly and planning to hang out sometime soon. Soon her mom was pulling into the drive way and Lindsay was wishing him good luck before stepping out and softly shutting the door behind her.  
  
Michael went to his room and packed an overnight bag, changed into some jeans and a different t-shirt and grabbed a beanie before walking into the hall and debating whether to bring a sleeping bag, but he quickly concluded that they’d just share a bed like normal.  
  
He grabbed his keys and phone before stepping out of the house and walking the block to the bus stop. _There’s no way I like Gavin,_ he thought, _I’m a million percent straight and Lindsay’s fucking crazy,_ he concluded. Satisfied with his findings he smiled as he walked faster trying to make it in time for the six o’clock bus.  
  
Michael had always liked girls, always. They had the softest skin and the prettiest hair, but all his crushes were short lived for some reason. There were just little things that weren’t… right about them. Their laugh wasn’t loud or squeaky enough, or their eyes weren’t the right shade, or their hair was too long. Stupid things like that really.  
  
He made it to the bus stop just in time to see the bus round the corner. He stepped on and dropped a dollar in the box up front and sat in the very front seat. He was bouncing in his seat as he got closer and closer to the stop only two blocks from Gavin’s home. When he got there, he stepped off, hiked his bag over his shoulder again and began walking.  
  
_What if he’s still mad?_ Michael thought. Michael honestly didn’t know what he’d do if Gavin was still mad at him. They rarely fought, so whenever they did they’d each assume the worst and prepare for the end.  
  
As Michael turned the corner onto Gavin’s street far too quickly for his taste, he began to slow down. When the house came into sight Michael noticed that both of Gavin’s parent’s cars were gone and the light in Gavin’s room was on. He came to the stone pathway leading to their door and counted to ten before stepping onto it. He kept his head down as he made his way to the door and knocked on it.  
  
When no one answered after two minutes, Michael took the spare key from under the mat and let himself in as he had so many times before. He tossed the key back under the mat and made his way up the stairs to Gavin’s room. He knocked three times before the door opened to reveal a tired looking Gavin.  
  
“Michael?” he stepped back from the door.  
  
“Hey,” he said waving half heartedly.  
  
“What are you doing here?” he asked.  
  
“Nice to see you too, Gavvy,” Michael snarked.  
  
“Sorry,” he shook his head letting Michael in, “I just wasn’t expecting you,” he said sitting on his bed. He looked over Michael's face then, taking in the bruises and scratches and sighed.  
  
“I know," Michael said catching Gavin's gaze on him, "I came to apologize,” he stated. Gavin looked at him and smiled softly, patting the spot next to him on the bed. Michael dropped his duffle bag on the floor and crawled on next to his best friend.  
  
“You’re spending the night?” Gavin asked.  
  
“Obviously,” Michael smirked. Gavin took out his phone and texted his mom to let her know before she came home. “Okay, look,” Michael started before Gavin could say anything else, “I just, I got mad and drunk and then they just-“  
  
“But why were you mad in the first place Michael? You got drunk before you even came over to me and then you just stormed off,” Gavin interrupted. "And I swear to Christ Michael, if you ever pull that crap with Matt and Jeremy again I will kick you ass," Gavin told him, holding up a hand stopping him from speaking.

"It won't happen again Gav," he said.

"Good, I don't need you getting injured over me. If it were at school you would've been suspended," Gavin lectured.

"I know," Michael smiled.

"Okay," Gavin whispered. "Now you may speak,"   
  
“I got angry because,” he trailed off. He had two options, make up some bull shit story on the spot, or tell the truth. “I didn’t like the thought of you with her,” even if he got mad Gavin would appreciate the truth.  
  
“Why not?” Gavin asked, and he swore his heart stopped beating, he prayed he wasn’t turning red.  
  
“Cause if you got a girlfriend then,” Michael paused again and God, Gavin couldn’t breathe, “then you might not have time for me anymore,” Michael finished and while it wasn’t what Gavin was hoping for, it was still something.  
  
Gavin laughed, “Oh Michael, I would never abandon you,” Gavin said resting his hand on the other boy’s shoulder.  
  
“Promise?” Michael asked holding his pinky out. Gavin giggled and hooked his pinky around Michael’s.  
  
“I swear,” he said shaking their hands up and down.  
  
“Well then I guess you can date her,” Michael smiled. Gavin rolled his eyes before grinning.  
  
“Glad I have your permission then since I called her earlier and we’re going out tomorrow afternoon,” Gavin told him. Michael almost grimaced, but he quickly plastered on a smile and laughed.  
  
“Good job Gavin,” he said patting the small boy’s back.  
  
The rest of the night was spent playing video games and ignoring the elephant in the room. Michael was obviously distressed by the news of Gavin’s date, and Gavin, not knowing why, decided that they’d just play video games and watch movies to stay away from the subject.  
  
Eventually Gavin’s parent’s came home with pizza and said their hellos before Gavin was bouncing up and down, telling them about the date he had with a girl he had met the day before. His parents were excited for their son, telling him that he was gonna do great and to be himself. Michael smiled as he listened to their encouragements but inside he was annoyed that they were even the slightest bit happy. He knew he was being a selfish prick. Gavin wasn’t his; he couldn’t get mad at him for getting a girlfriend. He was his best friend; he had to cheer him on no matter what he did.  
  
Finally around one in the morning they decided to call it a night. They went up to Gavin’s room and tumbled onto the bed in a mess of limbs. Neither of them really cared that Michael’s elbow was in Gavin’s face and Gavin’s legs were across Michael’s. And Gavin didn’t think anything of it when Michael hugged him before they turned on their sides to sleep. And if he woke up with Michael's arm wrapped around his waist, he still didn't think anything of it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry Meg/Gavin wraps up in the next chapter when Gavin realizes something very important about himself. Same with Tina/Ray. As I said in the notes at the beginning, Freshman year is over in the next chapter, it'll just be a general overview of little things that happened through out the rest of the year with a few key scenes, there's just no more plot for this year really. Sophomore year though, oh boy, I'm so pumped for that one.  
> That all being said I don't actually know when the next chapter will be up because I wanted to start working on a new fic I've had in my mind for a while. I'll try my best to get both done soon though.  
> Anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed it and I hope to hear from you guys soon!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is more of a filler really, just wrapping up freshmen year since there wasn't enough left to drag it out anymore. I've also decided that between each school year I'll have one chapter involving summer vacation. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and remember feed back is always welcome!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

The rest of freshmen year seemed to fly by for the six boys. It was full of hard classes, stupid tests, and a lot of discoveries, but through all of it the six came out together stronger than ever.  
  
Jack discovered that, well; it sucks not being romantically involved with anyone. Even if you aren’t in a relationship, it sucks not liking anyone or having anyone like you. The realization came when he saw how Geoff and Griffon acted toward each other, always hugging and holding each other’s hands. Jack thought they were the cutest couple ever, and he was happy for them, he was, but it was annoying having to listen to them talk about their date’s all the time.  
  
Even though they weren’t much for PDA, Gavin and Meg also managed to make Jack’s heart ache, while they were together. Jack wasn’t sure though if he was aching from loneliness or he was aching at the fact that Meg was looking at Gavin like he was the sun while he was looking at Michael the same way.   
  
Ray and Tina, while not actually together, clearly had something going on. Jack found that out one day at lunch when the two showed up five minutes late, fresh hickeys on both their necks and lips swollen. It was only a few days after their first party at Joel’s when Ryan had said the two had been stuck in a closet for seven minutes together. It was quite a shock for all of them, even Ryan who had guessed it all along. He ended up leaving lunch early that day and holing himself up in the library.

Ray and Tina didn’t continue whatever it was they were doing for more than a month thankfully. Soon Ryan was back to normal and the R&R Connection was back to kicking everyone’s asses with skill and logic. Which made everyone both happy and pissed because they really did suck at video games.  
  
Hell even Michael was more romantically involved than Jack was, and he stayed single the entire year too! He and Gavin would spoon, hold hands and cuddle every movie night, even while Gavin and Meg were going strong. After they broke up though it only got closer, and more intimate between the two, not that anyone pointed that out though. If you asked Gavin privately what he felt for Michael he would be straight up and honest. Michael however, would still deny any and all feelings for his best friend. Jack decided to let him sort his own shit out.  
  
So while the school year was quite successful for him friend and grade wise, it was complete crap relationship wise. He always knew there was the possibility of meeting someone new in his classes next year, or maybe he'd fall for someone right in front of him without realizing. So he decided to do what he was best at and wait.

~~~  
  
Geoff realized that holy shit, he was in love with Griffon. They definitely weren’t the type to throw the ‘L’ word around after every date or every time they saw each other. They still haven’t said it to each other after almost nine months together. The first time Geoff had considered that maybe he was, they had been together for four months and were at his house studying for their art final. Griffon, having been fantastic in the class the entire course was trying to teach Geoff yet again where he should shade and why it should be from a certain angle.  
  
“Geoff, you can’t put the dark blue there,” she told him for the third time, grabbing his hand and pulling it away from the coloring pad.  
  
“But why!” he yelled flopping back on his bed and throwing his hands over his face.  
  
“Because if your source of light is right _here_ ,” she said pointing to the top left of the page. “And he’s facing the light, you can’t make that dark blue,” she pointed again to the jeans.  
  
“Alright, fuck that. I call bullshit!” he said throwing the pad across the room and grabbing his giggling girlfriend, pulling her down onto him.  
  
“Geoff, come on, you’re gonna fail,” she laughed trying to push off.  
  
“Come on, study break,” he whispered looking at her with wide eyes. She rolled hers before leaning down and kissing him softly. They stayed like that for a long moment, lips pressed lazily against each other, not too heated, but not chaste.  
  
When she pulled off of him and held herself up, hands pressed on either side of his head, Geoff understood what she meant about the shading. The light pouring in from the left side of the room, illuminating that same side of her face, her eyes shining and cheeks flushed. _She’s so beautiful,_ was the only thought he could form at that moment. She climbed off of him completely and went to retreat his discarded coloring pad when he sat up and watched her go. The thin strap of her tank top was falling down her shoulder, jeans riding low on her hips, and yeah, maybe he loved her.  
  
It was just a passing thought though, a ‘maybe I do, but I’m not sure’ kinda thing. It was two months later that he knew for sure, and he wasn’t even with her. He was at home on a Wednesday night playing GTAV with his five best friends. They had just completed a heist that Jack had been setting up for weeks, they had just gotten on the titan where Geoff had been waiting. His only job was to fly that damn titan. While the others were carrying out the mission however, his mind began to wander while he waited. Thinking of his girlfriend and their last date, made Geoff realize he was in love with her, they hadn't done anything new or special, but he knew he wanted to do it with her for as long as possible. He had made it in the air when he realized this, but the shock of it all made him drop his controller. He was in love. He was in love with Griffon O’Connell, and the realization didn’t really scare him as much as he expected. It was more of a _why did it take me this long to realize,_ kinda thing.  
  
“GEOFF WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!” Michael was yelling in his ear, it was then that he focused back on the screen in front of him. He took in the fiery explosion, screams of horror from his friends, and the giant red _Wasted_ written across his screen.  
  
“Geoff? Are you okay? You’ve been quite for a really long time,” Ryan was saying. The lads were still screaming at this point, Jack was mumbling about how successful they had been, and Ryan was waiting for an answer.  
  
“Guys,” Geoff said slowly, when everyone else was quite he whispered, “I’m in love,”  
  
“No shit,” Michael snapped.  
  
“No offense Geoff, but we all knew that,” Ray told him.  
  
“No, like I’m _in_ love,” he said slower.

"You're just now realizing this?" Jack asked, Geoff couldn't see him but he could practically  _hear_ him rolling his eyes.  
  
“Aww, Geoffrey’s all grown up,” Gavin cooed.  
  
“Shut up,” he mumbled, face red.  
  
They teased him for the rest of the night, attempting to finish the heist one more time before deciding that ‘Fuck it’ they’ll do it another night. Gavin got them all killed at the bank by accidentally blocking their emergency exit before going in. They said goodnight and then Geoff was lying in bed, but he didn’t sleep that night, _how do I tell her? Do I just blurt it out, or do I make some big fucking romantic gesture? Doesn’t the girl normally say it first? Fuck._ He decided that he’d let it sit for a while before making a decision.  
  
That proved to be quite hard since every time he saw her for the rest of the year it was a struggle not to just shout it down the hallways or across the cafeteria. He really wanted it to be special for her, because she was amazing, and she deserved the absolute best.  
  
_Next year, I’ll tell her then._  
  
~~~  
  
Ray, after a little over ten hook-up’s with Tina, realized that he was not bisexual as he had thought, but he was gay. And he was crushing on Ryan. Tina was fun and exciting, but Ray didn’t only want physical excitement, he wanted the emotional excitement too. Something he found that only his tall, blond, and broad best friend made him feel.  
  
It was boy’s night at Jack’s house that he realized that his feelings from middle school had never left. The six were bored of video games and movies, so Jack ran upstairs and grabbed an assortment of board, and card games, even a twister mat. Obviously twister was the first thing they played that night. Even though it wasn’t a team sport they all agreed that trying to fit six teenage boys on one mat was just not happening. So they decided to switch off; one person from each team would go and the team with the most wins was the victor. So The R &R Connection faced off against Team Nice Dynamite and Team OG.  
  
“Come on Ray just keep your balance for like ten more seconds,” Ryan called as Ray placed his left hand on yellow. That was the final round, out of five matches Michael and Gaivn had won two, Ray and Ryan had won two and Geoff and Jack had won one. So it all came down to this. Ray versus Gavin.  
  
“Right foot green!” Geoff shouted when the spinner stopped.  
  
Gavin’s hand slipped off its blue spot, sending him hurtling toward the ground almost knocking Ray over. He managed to keep himself up though, placing his foot on green and winning the match.  
  
“YES!” Ray cheered standing straight and throwing his fists in the air. Before he could process though, Ryan had him in the air, placing him on his shoulders and parading around the room yelling about how they were the ultimate champions.  
  
After checking that Gavin was still alive the other boys cheered for them as well, laughing at Ray’s terrified expression as he insisted Ryan set him down so he didn’t die. Eventually Ryan picked him up and began placing him down, but not before Geoff ran full speed into Ryan’s back and shoved him causing him to almost drop the smaller boy.  
  
“Geoff what the fuck man!” he yelled after making sure Ray was seated on the couch, unharmed. Gavin looked between the two gents before sitting next to Ray on the couch and grabbing a bag of chips.  
  
“What?” Geoff asked innocently.  
  
“He could’ve gotten hurt,” Ryan snapped.  
  
“But he didn’t,” Geoff pointed out.  
  
“Not the point, don’t pull that shit again,” he warned sitting next to Ray on the couch. The tension in the room stretched between them before Jack was digging through the games and demanding they play Monopoly.  
  
Ray won again, but the entire night he was watching Ryan watch him. The small glances and smiles when something good happened for the lad, the way his face would flush when he saw Ray staring back. The way he yelled at Geoff for almost getting him hurt. The way he was always upset with Tina and Ray were together or talking hushed. _He probably doesn’t actually like me,_ Ray convinced himself _, but why would I even care?_ He thought.  
  
It was three in the morning and he was the only one up when he realized that he cared because he still liked Ryan. Tina was one hell of a kisser, but she was pretty bland when it came to actually talking or hanging out. Ryan though, was always funny and entertaining, always invested in what he was doing or talking about. And something about that just spoke to Ray.  
  
But he didn’t want to end up like Gavin, in love with a boy who swore up and down that he was straight and having all his friends knowing about it.

The following Monday he walked into the cafeteria and found Tina, quickly pulling her away and into the empty hallway.

"What's up?" she smirked assuming this was gonna be another quick hook-up.

"I think whatever it is we're doing should stop," he blurted, and while Tina looked shocked, she didn't look hurt, which was a plus.

"May I ask why?" she questioned.

"I'm ready for something more serious," he told her honestly. She smiled and nodded at him, telling him she'd always be there if he needed anything before they walked back into the cafeteria laughing.

Their friends figured it was them doing what they always did, showing up late after having attacked each other in an empty classroom. They didn't notice that Ray was more focused on the other boys than her today, and she was only talking to Lindsay.  
  
He told Ryan the next day saying that it just wasn’t working out and he didn’t want casual hook-ups anymore. Ryan didn’t question him anymore, so Ray shrugged it off and went back to reading.  
  
He decided to keep this little realization to himself, for now at least.  
  
~~~   
  
Ryan realized that he might actually have a chance with Ray after all! He had started noticing little glances and blushes and things that Ray hadn't done before as the year was coming to a close. He also noticed that he and Ray's friendship was growing rather strong toward the end of the year. They were texting and playing more one on one games on school nights. Ryan even helped Ray study for his math final in the library every Wednesday and Thursday for three weeks before the test. He was really starting to think it was his time.

After all he was the first person Ray told about him and Tina ending. It was the best Tuesday of Ryan’s life really.  
  
He had been in the library for lunch, preparing for their upcoming finals when the lad walked in. He spotted Ryan before Ryan spotted him, immediately making his way to the gent and sitting across from him. The taller boy jumped in his seat, clutching his chest.  
  
“Hey Ray,” Ryan said once the shock wore off.  
  
“Hey man,” Ray answered opening his math textbook and reading.  
  
“You never willingly come here to study,” Ryan pointed out five minutes later. Ray jumped and looked up at him, a deer in the headlights like expression on his face.  
  
“I just, I wanted to get away,” he started, followed by some mumbling that Ryan couldn’t hear.  
  
“What?” he asked leaning closer.  
  
Ray leaned closer too, less than a foot between them, “I’m avoiding Tina,” he told him.  
  
“Why?” Ryan asked shocked.  
  
“I ended things with her yesterday. She said it’s totally fine, and it was okay at lunch yesterday, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t awkward. For me at least,” his face flushed.  
  
“How come?” Ryan tilted his head.

"It's always awkward after ending something with someone," he said as if Ryan were dumb.

"I meant why did you end it?" Ryan chuckled, and oh, Ray felt dumb.  
  
“I want serious. She’s fun, and made me feel great, err, physically. But I think it's time for a real relationship, I want someone that can make me feel great emotionally too,” he shrugged.  
  
“Makes sense,” Ryan said leaning back nodding once. Ray shrugged again and went back to his text book before Ryan said anymore. He didn’t notice that Ryan spent the rest of lunch with his book in front of his face to hide his giant grin.  
  
So that had been that then. Ryan spent the rest of the year dropping subtle hints around Ray, but got absolutely no response. He knew it wasn’t that Ray was rejecting him, the boy was clueless as fuck, something Ryan knew after years of friendship.

He was sure that his friends had picked up on it other than Jack, but apparently he had the dumbest friends ever made, because they never commented or said anything. After joking with Ray one day at lunch that they'd get married and have five babies one day, Ryan ended up saying with a completely serious expression that 'I wouldn't mind that one bit' still no one seemed to understand that he really meant it. So he gave up for that year.  
  
He told himself that he’d get him next year. Something Jack told him he’d hold him to and if he didn’t do it then Ryan owed him a hundred bucks. Ryan didn't have to think that hard about it before he was shaking his hand and grinning. He had a whole plan set up too, he'd spend the summer getting closer with Ray and solidifying their friendship and then he'd ask him out, easy. He hoped.  
  
~~~   
  
Michael realized that he absolutely, under no circumstances, liked seeing Gavin with other people. To be honest he had been feeling a little neglected by his best friend after Meg came around. Gavin had cancelled quite a few boi’s nights for her and while Michael had told him multiple times that it was okay, they’d make it up the next day, he was still pissed.  
  
Michael tried really hard to hate Meg, but he couldn’t. She liked the same games and movies as him and was always so happy, which made Michael even more pissed off. He’d be the first to admit he was pretty standoffish with her more than one time which always made Gavin ignore him until he apologized. He couldn’t help it though, Gavin was _his_ best friend, and he wanted to spend time with his best friend.  
  
And he knew it was wrong to be cuddling up on Gavin while he was in a relationship but the Brit never told him to stop so Michael did it anyway. Holding his hand during scary movies and spooning him when they’d sleep.

It started innocently enough, Gavin getting scared when Ryan demanded they watch  _It_ one movie night, everyone else had been all for it, except Ray and Gavin who were always awful with those sorts of things. Gavin, having been afraid of clowns since he was four and one chased him around the carnival, ended up in Michael's lap not even half way through and refused to go to sleep after unless someone cuddled him. He had suggested Ray since the other boy was equally as scared but Michael was quick to squash that thought, saying that since they always slept together anyway it might as well be him. Ryan ended up getting to comfort Ray that night when he woke up screaming, making everyone else laugh uncontrollably. 

Ever since, Gavin and Michael had just decided that they pretty much slept all over each other anyway so they might as well start the night that way. Gavin never said anything about it affecting his relationship and none of the other guys commented so Michael saw no problem hanging out with his boi.  
  
He had however, questioned his feelings for the Brit quite a few times throughout the end of the year, but he always came up with the same conclusion. Gavin was his best friend, and that was all. He was straight, and so was Gavin for Christ sake. He had seen many movies and read many books where two characters had thought they were in love because they were best friends. Of course when they’d try it out they always had some big falling out because they realized they had been confusing what they had for more. And he concluded that that was what he was doing now. Gavin and he were never going to happen because there was no way they could see themselves in love and living together ten years down the road.  
  
Then why was he so fucking excited when Gavin and Meg broke up? Why did he feel the need to throw a party and hug the boy and congratulate him? He’d never know. He just stuck to cuddling him and being as close as possible without teetering over that edge, the last thing he wanted was people to get the wrong idea.  
  
_Next year I’ll get myself a girlfriend and all these thoughts will stop,_ he told himself like a mantra in his head.  
  
~~~  
  
Dating Meg was wonderful, she was spontaneous and funny and beautiful and Gavin had a wonderful time with her. It was three months in when he stopped feeling that way though. He realized that kissing her wasn’t as passionate as it used to be, hugging her wasn’t as comforting and going out with her wasn’t as fun.  
  
His whole life he had thought he was bisexual, and that was fine, he liked Michael, he liked Meg, he liked everyone no matter what they were. However one day he had been thinking about it for quite some time and realized that maybe he was only gay. He liked excitement, but it never really lasted with anyone other than Michael.  
  
He thought maybe it was the phase of a relationship where you’re out of the honeymoon stage and things die down a bit before they pick back up. He was wrong. It had been two weeks and they still hadn’t picked up, and she seemed to be noticing it too.  
  
It was a Tuesday that Gavin went to Meg’s house after school to ‘study’ which of course ended with them rolling around Meg’s bed, hands roaming everywhere. Kissing was something they had done many times before, nothing too explicit. Today however, it seemed Meg had other plans, as soon she was sitting up from her position on top of him and taking her shirt off revealing her lacy pink bra. Gavin’s breathing stuttered and it was then that he knew he didn’t want her.  
  
When he made no move to touch her she was grabbing his hands and sliding them up her body not noticing the way Gavin had froze, his hands limp.  
  
“Wait wait wait!” he chanted sitting up and almost throwing her off the bed. He caught her in time and apologized before setting her down next to him and standing up.  
“What’s wrong?” she asked picking her shirt up off the floor and hurriedly putting it back on.  
  
“Meg, this is probably a really bad time to say it, but I think I’m gay,” he told her facing the wall. There was silence for all of ten seconds before Meg busted out laughing.  
“It’s not funny,” he snapped at her, spinning around to find her bent over herself.  
  
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she repeated. Gavin waited for her to calm down, an unimpressed expression on his face. She finally regained her breathing before patting the spot next to her on the bed and motioning for him to sit down.  
  
“It’s Michael isn’t it?” she asked as soon as he was settled in. He jumped looking at her shocked.

“How did you?” he began but she held her hand off effectively telling him to shut up.  
  
“You look at him the way Geoff looks at Griffon,” she told him sadly. Tears prickled at his eyes and avoided eye contact. “Honey it’s okay, I understand and I don’t hate you,” she told him.  
  
“You don’t?” he looked at her to see sincerity in her eyes.  
  
“Of course not, us breaking up doesn’t mean we have to turn against each other,” she explained.  
  
“So you’ll still sit with us at lunch and hang out?” he asked shyly. She didn’t hesitate to nod.  
  
“I love all of you guys, I’m not gonna ditch you guys. And I’m gonna support you all the way okay?” she made sure he met her eyes and nodded before looking away.  
  
“Do you think Michael knows?” he asked her.  
  
“Probably not, he’s a dumbass,” she laughed.  
  
“Yeah he kind of is,” he chuckled.  
  
They spent the rest of the afternoon there talking about Michael and how it started. Meg wanted every detail and she swore she wouldn’t tell a soul the reason they broke up the next day at school.  
  
While Gavin still felt horrible for doing that to her, he left her house feeling better than he had the last few weeks. He finally made it to his home but froze on his front porch. _How do I tell my parents? How do I tell Michael?_ When his mom opened the front door and asked why he had been standing outside for five minutes, he bolted right past her and up the stairs ignoring her concerned calls.  
  
He sat in his room for hours wondering how he was supposed to do it; he wasn’t too concerned about his parents as they had always been open minded. Still though, saying it out loud was a whole new thing for him. It was Michael he was more concerned about. The boy raged at everything, what would he do to Gavin if he turned out to be a homophobic asshole?  
  
He decided not to worry about it then.  
  
Later that night he walked downstairs while his parents were watching TV and asked them if they would give him a moment to speak. His father immediately hit mute and gave him his undivided attention.  
  
“What’s wrong sweetie?” his mother asked.  
  
He took a deep breath, “Mom, dad, I’m… I’m gay,” he told them, he held his breath after, preparing for anything.  
  
“Oh honey,” his mother smiled, standing from the couch and wrapping him in her arms. “Thank you for telling us,” she told him making sure he knew how honest she was being.  
  
“You guys are okay with it?” he squeeked.  
  
“Okay with it? Honey of course we are, I’m very proud of you for telling us this,” his mother said. His eyes pricked with tears for the second time that day, except this time he didn’t fight them, just let them rush down his cheeks.  
  
“Love you son,” his dad said joining their little hug and squeezing tightly.  
  
So that was that, his next step would be to tell Michael and then his friends. But he panicked, faking sick the next day and hiding from the real world. What he wasn’t expecting though, was Michael showing up at his house after school and demanding that he tell him what’s going on.  
  
“Gav come on just tell me. Team Nice Dynamite right?” he asked standing across from Gavin.  
  
“Michael,” Gavin started stepping back when Michael stepped toward him. He ignored the hurt look on Michael’s face, staring at the ground instead.  
  
“Look, I’m not really sure how I should say this, so I’m just gonna say it,” he paused. “And I completely understand if you don’t wanna be my friend anymore after I tell you this,” he said quickly. Michael looked extremely worried, trying to read Gavin.  
  
“Just tell me,” he pleaded.  
  
“I’m gay,” he whispered and wow, Michael wasn’t expecting that. He had always thought that Gavin was as straight as an arrow. He processed this new information before he was surging forward and wrapping Gavin in a fierce hug, crushing him against his chest.  
  
“Why the fuck would that make me not wanna be your friend anymore?” Michael muttered into his neck.  
  
“I- I don’t know,” Gavin stuttered, burying his face into Michael’s neck as well.  
  
“You’re an idiot,” Michael rolled his eyes pulling back.  
  
“Why?” Gavin squawked.  
  
“I don’t care if you’re gay or not, you’re still my best friend,” he told him. Gavin grinned at him as Michael led them to the bed and cuddled him.  
  
“What are you doing?” the Brit asked.  
  
“It seems you’ve had an emotional few days, so we’re gonna take a nap,” Michael said, tightening his hold around him, leaving no room for argument. Gavin didn’t try to though, just closed his eyes and nuzzled under the covers with his best friend.  
  
~~~  
  
On the last movie night of the school year before summer vacation, they were at Michael’s house trying to play Halo when Gavin announced he had something to say. It had been bugging him since he told Michael, Ray already knew pretty much, so really he was only breaking it to the Gents, but it was still rather nerve wracking. Ryan pressed pause on his controller, letting Gavin and Michael stand in front of the TV. The other four piled onto the couch and stared at them patiently.  
  
“You guys are my best friends, and I didn’t want to hide this information from you anymore, so I just wanted to say that… I’m gay,” he said. He was expecting some shocked faces, maybe some rage, but he was met with slightly confused faces and tilted heads.  
  
“Wait, really?” Geoff asked, “I mean, I’m gonna be honest kid, I always _assumed_ , but really?”

“I’m gonna be honest, I assumed too and joked about it a lot, but I didn’t actually think… alright, cool,” Jack nodded.  
  
“Welcome to the club!” Ryan cheered breaking any awkwardness that lingered.  
  
“Wait what!” Michael yelled looking at him wide eyed.  
  
“You too?” Geoff asked.  
  
“I thought I made it pretty obvious…” Ryan trailed off surprised.  
  
“Apparently not,” Gavin muttered.  
  
“Or you’re all just dumbasses,” Ryan suggested.  
  
“That seems more likely,” Ray laughed. They all looked around the room for a bit before busting out laughing at each other and how stupid their faces looked.  
  
“Does this mean you two are gonna bang?” Geoff asked pointing between Ryan and Gavin, wiggling his eye brows.  
  
“Absolutely,” Ryan deadpanned. He reached his hand out for Gavin to take and the two began walking toward the coat closet by Michael’s front door.  
  
“Not funny!” Michael called after them causing them to stop.  
  
The rest of the night was spent joking about how stupid they all are, and Gavin and Ryan’s soon to be budding romance. They laughed along, but when they looked at each other later, they both just smiled and shook their heads.  
  
So yeah, freshmen year held a lot of discoveries and opportunities for all of them. They couldn’t wait for sophomore year.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I told you Tina/Ray and Gavin/Meg wouldn't last long! Tina and Meg will still be in the story and might come into play again later on. Until then they're just kinda chilling in the back ground.  
> Hope you enjoyed and I'll post again soon!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I just wanna say thank you to everyone who's commented or left Kudos on this story, I love getting them and I'm glad you enjoy the story.  
> This chapter takes place in their last week of summer before school. The next chapter will be the beginning of sophomore year, which I'm really excited about because I planned most events that happen in this story in sophomore-senior year, so really I was just trying to power through ninth grade.  
> Anyway. I hope you enjoy chapter 7.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

"Michael can you please help us set up the tent. Gavin’s fucking it up again,” Ryan called out, watching the Brit attempt to put two metal poles together. The fact that they were the same size and obviously wouldn’t fit together didn’t seem to faze the boy though.

“I am not! Look,” Gavin cried holding the poles up, now mashed together, only for them to tumble apart and clatter to the ground.

“You dumbass!” Geoff shouted breaking two more sticks in half, throwing them into the fire pit.

Michael abandoned his sticks and crumpled newspaper, making his away over to where Jack, Ryan and Gavin were setting up their tent. “I got this Gavvy,” he told him, taking the poles from his hands and pushing him aside.

“Go help Geoff and Ray with the fire,” Jack demanded. He pouted, but didn’t protest, stalking over to the other two.

It was their last boy’s night before sophomore year started, meaning that they were camping out in Ryan’s back yard. Ryan’s parents let them make a fire pit and set up camp themselves and left to the store to buy them food and drinks.

“What do I do boss?” Gavin asked Geoff as he threw more paper into the pit.

“Set the chairs up, I don’t want you screwing this up too,” he said not even looking at him. Again, Gavin pouted, but decided that maybe they had a point, so he picked up their folding chairs and set them in a circle.

 ~~~

Their summer had been pretty uneventful when they weren’t together, mostly just hanging around with their parents or going to the pool. Their schedules for tenth grade had some in the mail the week before and they were all happy to see that, again, they each had a class with one of their friends.

The summer had been a great opportunity for them to grow closer to each other, and they even had a few weeks where they’d have sleepovers every night. Messing around and just enjoying each other’s company.

Geoff and Griffon were still going strong. Geoff still hadn’t told her he loved her yet, but he was saving that for a really special moment, one that would surprise her and ‘make her smile like the sun’ as Geoff put it. He had called Jack up quite a few times at one in the morning or later to ask for his opinion and help him plan. By the end of the phone calls though, Geoff always decided against whatever it was they had planned in case it wasn’t good enough. So he was still at square one really.

Jack hadn’t met anybody over the summer, but he wasn’t really that worried about it with the new school year around the corner. Plus watching how stupid his friends were with their own relationships, he wasn’t so sure now that he wanted to be in one. He also hoped that everyone could get their shit together because he was really sick of the late night phone calls from not only Geoff but also Ryan who had spent most of his summer with Ray.

Apparently the two had gone to several movies and had slept over each other’s houses many times without the others. They still weren’t, as Ryan called it, a ‘thing’ as neither of them had spoken of having deeper feelings than friendship. Still Ryan swore he’d tell Ray sometime soon and Jack chose to just let him handle it.

For Ryan though it was the best summer he had ever had if he were being honest. Only two weeks into the summer Ray had texted the group chat saying he was dying of boredom. Since everyone else was busy that left Ryan. They ended up going to a movie together and spent the entire two hours mocking it. After, they went back to Ryan’s house and played video games for the rest of the afternoon, and since they had already spent the day together they figured ‘why not’ so Ray spent the night. Actually he spent two nights, and then they went to Gavin’s house the next day with everyone else.

That was only the beginning though, after that they had at least one sleepover a week, alternating between houses and sometimes they’d go out and do fun things, like movies or dinner, or one time they went to the mall and bought stupid matching hats. They were like the new Michael and Gavin in their group of friends.

If you asked Ray, he would definitely agree with Ryan that it was an amazing summer. Being with Ryan made him feel things that he never had before. He hated stupid romance movies, but when he was with Ryan he felt like he was in one. The taller boy always made sure Ray was comfortable when they shared a bed, made sure he was okay with what movie they saw or where they ate. He was the perfect gentleman, and they weren’t even together.

Part of Ray knew that they were never going to happen, but that didn’t stop the other part of him from fighting and telling him that it could work. It _would_ work. They could totally do it, he thought sometimes, and other times he was convinced that they’d cause mass destruction and mayhem if they tried. And not the fun kind they caused in video games, the bad kind that ruined friendships and forced people to pick sides. No matter how much he wanted to be brave and tell Ryan how he felt, he couldn’t pull himself to do it. Every night they lay next to each other in bed, talking about life and the world Ray was tempted to speak up, but something always stopped him.

One night he even managed a small, “Hey Ryan?”

But no response came, he had fallen asleep only seconds before, after that he never tried again, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to. Gavin seemed to think that the two were in love and meant to be, no matter how many times Ray pushed that idea off the table.

Gavin and Michael mainly spent their summer together, playing video games and occasionally going out. They spent most of their nights at Gavin’s house, curled up in his bed too keep warm from the cold air the A/C was constantly blasting. Neither of them ever considered just turning it down, content with having to stay close.

“Michael?” Gavin asked one night, facing the wall, Michael’s arm wrapped securely around him.

“Hmm?” Michael hummed into his neck.

“Do you think we’ll stay friends forever?” the Brit whispered. The arm around him was removed and there was a rustling behind him.

“Gavin,” the redhead began. He turned to see Michael propped up on his elbow looking down at him. “Why would you even ask that? Of course we will be, all of us will be,” he told him.

“What if we don’t have any classes together or one of us-“ he started telling him, but was effectively cut off when Michael glared at him.

“Nothing’s gonna take us from each other Gavvy. You’re my boi,” he said wrapping his arm back around him.

When their schedules came in the week after and they saw that they shared biology together, they both sighed in relief.

 ~~~

“All set!” Jack called out as he, Ryan and Michael finished the tent.

“I’ll get our shit, Ray wanna help me?” Ryan asked admiring their work.

“Sure,” Ray answered following him back to his house.

“They’re totally gonna bang,” Geoff smirked.

“Ray’s not gay though,” Jack pointed out. Geoff burst out laughing claiming it was ‘the funniest thing he had ever heard’. “Wait, really?” Jack’s jaw dropped.

“Who knows,” Michael shrugged picking up the lighter and crouching down next to Gavin.

Soon Ryan and Ray were returning with pillows and sleeping bags, throwing them into the tent and going back into the house for food.

“Gavin, you’re gonna fucking burn yourself,” Michael snapped as the Brit tried to light a match and throw it onto paper.

“I am not,” he argued, slapping Michael’s hands away when he went to grab the pack of matches.

“God dammit Gavin!” Michael yelled when he held the match too long, burning his thumb.

“Ow!” the Brit whined, sucking on his red skin.

“Fucking moron,” Michael barked, grabbing his arm and dragging him toward the house in search of ice. “You do it,” he said shoving the matches and lighter in Geoff’s hands when he passed him.

They walked into Ryan’s house, saying hello to his parents as they passed them. Michael pulled him into the kitchen and opened the freezer, grabbing an ice cube and pried Gavin’s hand from his mouth, holding the ice to it and glaring at him.

“Michael,” Gavin whined trying to rip his hand away, but the other boy was much stronger than him, holding him in place.

“I told you to stop,” he grumbled pressing harder on the ice cube.

“You don’t have to baby me Michael; I could’ve done it,”

“Then why didn’t you?” Michael smirked.

“You distracted me,” Gavin muttered finally freeing himself and heading towards the back door. Michael followed behind him closely, realizing that Gavin was actually upset with him.

“Sorry boi,” he whispered as they made their way to the fire pit.

“It’s fine,” Gavin grinned. Michael sighed, knowing Gavin couldn’t really stay mad at him for something this stupid.

 

The sun had just started setting when they got back. The fire was roaring and Geoff stood next to it arms crossed, smirking, clearly proud of his work. Ryan and Ray were opening bags of hot dogs and putting them on sticks passing them around the circle. Gavin and Michael took their seats in the circle and joined the conversation.

“I’m just saying we should totally zip all of our sleeping bags together. Massive cuddle session!” Ray suggested.

“Dude, it’s like a million degrees out,” Geoff scoffed.

“Whatever I’m doing it,” he said.

“Dumbass,” Michael chuckled, holding his stick out to the fire.

“I’ll do it with you Ray!” Gavin cheered.

“Me too,” Ryan agreed. The others just shook their heads as they cooked laughing at their friends.

They sat in silence, enjoying the warm air and silence. Each of them was lost in their own thoughts, wondering about the upcoming year.

“Do you guys think we’ll still be friends next summer?” Gavin questioned, breaking the peacefulness.

“Not this again,” Michael groaned.

“I’m serious Michael! What if something happens and we end up hating each other?” the Brit ranted.

“Dude come on we’ve been together for four years now, I think we can get through anything the world decides to throw our way,” Geoff told him

“Yeah man come on,” Ray began, “we’ve had little fights and shit every year, but we’re still best friends. I’m sure if anything happens, we’ll work it out like always,” he assured.

“Best friends forever woo!” Jack cheered.

“Gavin, none of us are going anywhere, so shut up,” Michael said reaching over and punching him in the shoulder lightly.

He let it go and went back to cooking his hot dog with everyone else, falling back to silence. No one spoke for over thirty minutes; the only sound was the cracking of the fire and snapping of wood.

“I think I’m gonna tell Griffon I love her this year,” Geoff blurted.

“About God damn time,” Gavin cried.

“Yeah what the hell you’ve know this forever. Tell the girl so she can dump you already,” Michael joked. Geoff pouted and turned away from him.

“Michael that was very mean,” Ryan scolded, but he was grinning so Michael didn’t take it very seriously.

They teased Geoff for a while, his face growing redder and redder, so eventually Jack told them it was enough. The laughter and joked died down, but they could all tell Geoff was still nervous.

“Seriously though man, there’s no way she doesn’t love you too,” Michael said softly.

“Yeah Geoffy, you’re a real catch!” Gavin told him.

“Thanks dickhead,” Geoff smiled.

“Hey, while we’re being all sentimental and stuff I’d like to make a grand announcement,” Ray said standing up and looking each of them in the eye. He took a deep breath before continuing, “I’m gay,” he said. “Thank you for your time,” he finished with a bow.

“Holy fucking shit,” Jack said in disbelief.

“I FUCKING KNEW IT!” Geoff said jumping up and pointing at him. “Eh? Ehhh?” he looked at Jack and smirked cockily at him.

“Ryan we aren’t alone anymore!” Gavin cheered pulling Ray into a hug that Ryan later joined. Michael, having known for a while now, just sat back and smiled.

“Oh my God, anyone else?” Geoff asked looking at Jack and Michael.

“Not me man,” Michael said holding his hands up defensively. Ray hugged Gavin tighter.

“Nope,” Jack laughed.

“Good,” Geoff sat down. “Thanks for telling us man,” he said to Ray after. They all smiled encouragingly at each other.

“When did you know?” Jack voiced.

“Like the end of school,” he shrugged.

“Why’d you wait so long?” Geoff asked.

“I wanted to be sure?” he said hesitantly, more like a question.

“Fair enough,” Gavin chuckled.

“Aw dude three-way,” Ray said pulling back from their hug and looking suggestively at Ryan and Gavin.

“Looks like they’ll be zipping their sleeping bags together if you know what I mean,” Geoff waggled his eyebrows.

“No. No one knows what you mean,” Michael shook his head.

“Nah, I’ gonna find my own man, you can have him, Ryan,” Gavin said shoving Ray towards the other boy. Ryan steadied him before stepping away.

“Oh my God,” he cried sitting back down, face flaming.

At the beginning of summer, right after Gavin and Ryan had come out to their friends; they had gone to Ryan’s house to hang out when Ryan confessed his feelings for Ray. Gavin had told him that while he didn’t know if Ray was actually straight, gay, bi, or what, he definitely thought that there might be some feelings for Ryan in the mix. When Gavin wasn’t with Michael and Ryan wasn’t with Ray, the two were mostly together, or talking on the phone, talking about their crushes and assuring the other that, yes, they did have a chance. Even if they weren’t completely sure.

The two had grown much closer, and while they joked about hooking up, they both respected that their hearts belonged to others, and even joked that they’d get married if they both ended up single by twenty-five.

So Gavin knew what he was doing to poor Ryan when he joked and shoved them together, did he care? Not really. He would apologize to Ryan later, but for now he would force them to get closer. Hell he’d zip their sleeping bags together in the middle of the night if he had the skill and stealth.

 

The rest of the evening seemed to fly by with jokes and talk of the upcoming year, plans on what they would do to celebrate their first day of tenth grade. They attempted helping Geoff yet again decide how he was gonna tell Griffon, and finally Michael raged and knocked his chair over when he told Geoff to ‘fucking figure it out yourself.’ It was nearing one in the morning when Michael put his soda down and cleared his throat.

“Wanna play manhunt?” he asked, one eyebrow arched.

“Aww fuck yeah,” Geoff jumped up.

“I suck at that game,” Gavin whined.

“Probably because you’re not stealthy at all,” Ray offered.

“… fair enough,” Gavin said eventually. They all laughed as Ryan passed out the flashlights.

“Me, Michael, and Jack, versus Gavin, Ray, and Geoff?” he asked.

“Hell yeah,” Michael cheered taking a flash light.

“You’ve got one minute, stay on the property. You’re only caught if you get tagged,” Ryan told them before turning back to Michael and Jack, huddling up.

“Keep your flashlight on the whole time, don’t be afraid to tackle their asses,” he smirked.

“I’ll try to find Gavin,” Michael told them.

“I got Ray,” Ryan shrugged, not missing Jack’s smirk at the comment.

“Dude, I’m totally fucking cheating and I don’t feel bad. They’re by that tree,” Michael said nodding his head discreetly.

“Keep an eye on where your target ends up,” Ryan shrugged, watching at two bodies split up in both directions from the tree. One was too lanky to be Ray and the other was slower than Ray would’ve been.

Meanwhile across the field the other boys were having a really hard time coming up with a game plan. Standing in a circle under a big tree and arguing quietly.

“Gavin, just climb the fucking tree,” Geoff snapped rubbing his face.

“I won’t make it,” he snarled.

“I’ll climb the fucking tree,” Ray told both of them, reaching up and grabbing a low branch, pulling himself up.

“Alright Gavin, go hide by that cluster of trees over there,” Geoff pointed before running in the opposite direction.

They split up and moved as quickly as possible, waiting for their minute to be up before-

“Minutes up!” Michael yelled taking off in a sprint across the field. Jack and Ryan looked at each other, smirked, and took off after him.

Jack ran to the left flashing his light multiple times and looking in all directions. “Geoff,” he sang, “come out wherever you are,”

“Aww fuck,” he heard a whisper from a couple yards away. _Gotcha,_ he thought, sprinting a little more before stopping to listen to the breathing.

“Hey Geoff,” he smirked coming up behind him and tapping him on his shoulder.

“That’s not fair, I stepped in dog shit,” he pouted dragging his shoe across the grass multiple times.

“Sucks for you man,” he chuckled.

“Fuck you Gavin!” They heard Michael yell across the yard, everyone’s attention turned to the two boys running across the field. Gavin had an early lead, almost back to the campsite, Michael only ten feet behind.

“Haven’t tagged me yet Michael!” he called without looking back. He circled around the campfire and made his way back towards the tree just when Michael leapt for him. One second they were sprinting and the next Michael was slamming into Gavin’s back, tumbling to the ground.

“I win,” Michael grinned, flipping Gavin onto his back and pinning his hands by his head, laughing when he pouted.

“That hurt Michael,” he whined, trying to release himself.

“If you hadn’t have been a little shit and ran that wouldn’t have happened,” he pointed out.

“Yes it would have,” Gavin squawked.

“Probably,” he shrugged.

“Let me go, you already won,” he whined again.

“Fine,” Michael said pushing off of him.

“Shit!” They heard Ryan yell, followed by a dull thump.

They turned to see Ray straddling Ryan’s back, fists thrown in the air victoriously. “I win!” he cried.

“Not really,” Jack pointed out when he reached the two.

“Ray, why?” Ryan groaned in pain.

“It seemed like a good idea,” he said innocently, standing up and holding his hand out for the other boy to take.

“It wasn’t a _good_ idea, but it was a funny one,” Geoff told him.

“Gavin, you’re bleeding,” Ryan said, pointing at Gavin’s arm.

“So are you,” Gavin laughed, pointing at his forehead.

“Oh shit, Ryan I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Ray babbled.

“It’s fine, just a scratch,” Ryan comforted smiling, before taking Gavin’s arm and pulling him the direction of his house.

“Alright, manhunt over,” Jack announced, leading them back to the fire.

“Party pooper,” Geoff mock whispered.

“Two people are injured man,” Jack scolded.

“Just a couple scrapes and bruises,” Michael said.

“This is Gav’s second injury today, I’m surprised you’re not going in with them,” Jack pointed out.

“Shut up,” Michael grumbled.

They sat back down around the fire, waiting for their friends to return. When they did Ryan had a wet cloth held to his head and Gavin had a small bandage on his arm.

“Round two?” Gavin asked cheerily.

“No way man, we can’t risk anymore injuries tonight,” Jack said.

“Only flesh wounds,” Ryan told him grinning.

They all laughed, turning back to the fire enjoying the moment and the starry sky.

“Alright lads, favorite memory from freshmen year. Go!” Gavin yelled pointing at Jack.

“Oh God, watching Geoff play beer pong!” he shouted quickly.

“Which time?” Gavin countered.

After their first high school party the six had attended many more, each going better than the last, considering Michael and Ryan didn’t beat anyone up, and there was no fighting the next day. At each party, Geoff would pick a random partner and play beer pong with them, and to this day he remained undefeated.

“The time Blaine flipped the table in victory. The look on your fucking face,” Jack said pointing and laughing. They all burst out, that was the first time they had all watched him play together and cheered him on. It was maybe the third party they had gone to at, some sophomore named, Blaine’s house; Geoff picked him as his partner and they dominated their competition, two other freshmen boys that they didn’t know the names of.

“Well yeah! If you’re gonna throw a party without your parents knowing, you shouldn’t break your own shit, it’s logic!” Geoff exclaimed throwing his hands up.

“I can only imagine his face the next morning when he walked downstairs, hung over and confused,” Gavin squeaked.

“Alright Geoff, go!” Jack pointed, all of them still trying to calm down, clutching their stomachs, or wiping their eyes.

He thought for a long moment before his face lit up. “Aww fucking- remember that one time at Jack’s house that Ray got so pissed at Michael for beating him at COD by ten points, and Ray fucking slammed the controller and broke it,” he laughed.

“My darkest moment,” Ray muttered, face turning red.

“It was my shitty controller anyway,” Jack comforted.

“That’s why I lost!” Ray shouted.

“Don’t blame the controller, ya pleb,” Gavin chuckled.

“I still think Michael cheated,” Ray said crossing his arms stubbornly.

“Poor baby,” Geoff cooed.

“Shut up,” Ray grumbled, flipping him off.

“Whatever man, it’s your turn,” Geoff announced.

“Hmm,” Ray said, bring his hand up and rubbing at his chin, deep in thought. “Michael doing the cinnamon challenge at lunch.” The laughter was instant, each of them remembering how red Michael’s face had gotten, the brown powder flying all over the table, his choking loud enough to gather attention from surrounding tables.

“I spit up cinnamon for like a straight ten minutes dude,” Michael laughed.

“I thought you were gonna die,” Jack cackled.

“At that moment, I wish I did,” he said, eyes wide, voice serious, only making everyone else laugh harder.

“And then two days later Gavin tried the hot sauce challenge,” Ray added. “Puked five times that day,” he laughed.

“Jesus,” Geoff said voice higher than usual. “That was probably the best thing that ever happened in that cafeteria,” he sighed, wiping his eyes.

“No way man, remember when he slipped on that spilled milk and got spaghetti all over himself,” Michael said, pointing at the embarrassed Brit.

“You’ll never let me live that down will you?” he snapped.

“Dude, we had to help clean you up, no way are you living that down,” Ray pointed out.

“Dammit,” his grumbled, crossing his arms, sulking.

“Michael?” Geoff asked.

“Remember the party at Joel’s house where Gavin ripped his pants?” he asked.

“Why do you hate me?” Gavin cried.

“You deserved it,” Michael told him.

“I did not!” Gavin argued. “I was dancing with Meg, and during the dip I-“

“You dropped her. You dropped both of you technically,” Geoff cackled.

“Shut up,” the Brit groaned.

“It’s your turn Gavino,” Ryan told him.

“That time Jack’s parents were out of town and we all got smashed, but you broke the mirror,” Gavin glared.

“Yeah, trying to come up with a lie believable enough was hard as fuck,” Jack laughed.

“And you still got grounded,” Michael yelled.

“Yeah, thanks Ryan,” Jack said sarcastically.

“Hey I apologized like ten times. It’s your fault that you suck at lying,” Ryan countered.

“Yeah, apparently ‘Gavin fell into it’ wasn’t a good excuse,” he acted surprised.

“No shit man,” Michael said.

“At least they didn’t notice the missing alcohol,” Geoff reasoned.

“I know, none of you would be allowed over ever again,” Jack agreed.

“Alright, my turn?” Ryan asked, when everyone nodded he smirked. “Remember the day after when Jack had such a bad hangover he punched Geoff in the face for trying to wake him,”

“Oh shit that _was_ that morning, I thought it was after that one party,” Geoff said in thought.

“No that was Michael,” Ray laughed.

“Yeah, what the fuck, you guys are always punching me in the face,” he said exasperated.

“Stop waking us up when we’re hung over,” Michael shrugged.

“Fuck you man,” Geoff grumbled.

“Poor baby,” Ray mocked, using Geoff’s words from earlier. Geoff rolled his eyes and that was the end of the conversation.

“Remember that time we went out for ice cream,” Ray said as if it were the most amazing thing they had ever done.

“Dude we did that like once a week,” Michael said reaching across Gavin and punching him.

“I just like ice cream,” Ray pouted.

“So, goals for next year?” Ryan asked.

“Get laid,” Ray said immediately.

“Yeah right,” Michael joked.

“Rude,” Ray laughed.

“I don’t really have any goals,” Geoff told them.

“Me either,” Gavin said, Michael nodded in agreement and Jack didn’t say a word.

“Great talk guys,” Ryan said making them all laugh.

They shared more stories and joked around more, but around two-thirty they noticed that two of the voices had been silent for a while. Gavin was leaned back in his chair, mouth slightly parted, snoring softly. Next to him was Ray, neck bent at a painful angle, glasses almost falling off his face.

“Losers,” Geoff shook his head, a wide smile on his face.

“They might have the right idea,” Jack stated.

“I agree, let’s get to sleep,” Ryan said, standing and stretching.

They all stood, stretching out their tired limbs and started packing up their food and things. Jack went to grab the bucket of water Ryan had set out earlier, while Geoff went to pick up Gavin.

“Hey, I got ‘im,” Michael whispered brushing Geoff off. Geoff held his hands up in surrender and made his way into the tent.

“So we aren’t zipping them all together?” he asked, poking his head out.

“Guess not,” Ryan said hushed, as he picked Ray up, carefully bringing him to the tent that Geoff held open. Michael followed with Gavin shortly after, and when the fire was nothing but ashes Jack tiptoed in last.

“Hey you guys,” Geoff called quietly once they were all settled in.

“What?” Michael whispered. The other hummed to let him know they were listening.

“Goodnight and good luck next week,” he said softly.

“You act like we aren’t gonna see each other again before school starts,” Michael laughed.

“Way to ruin the moment,” Geoff grumbled, turning on his side and pulling his blanket up over himself.

“Hey Geoff,” Michael said after a minute. He heard rustling and soon Geoff’s head popped out from the other side of Gavin. “Good luck.”

Geoff smiled at him and turned back over. Michael turned around to check on Ray and Ryan and smiled when he saw them curled around each other, Ryan already in a deep sleep. While Gavin had been the one person Ryan told everything to, Ray had been talking to Michael, not that anyone else knew that. And with the information Gavin had given him on Ryan and what Ray had been telling him, he knew that their feelings for each other were mutual, and that they’d probably be together by the end of the year.

He looked over Gavin’s head and saw Geoff and Jack both facing the wall, covers pulled way up over them, both barely moving, so he assumed he was the last one up. He looked back down at Gavin and smiled, wrapping his arm around him. He shut his eyes and joined the rest of them in slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed it and I hope to hear from some of you soon!  
> Here's to sophomore year!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been a while, I ended up taking most of the last few weeks to plan out each chapter and it looks like this story will be about 34 or 35 chapters. Still not sure if I want to do a sequel yet, but we'll figure that out when we get there.  
> I hope you all enjoy this chapter and chapter nine will probably be out next weekend. Hope to hear from some of you soon.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“This week has been the worst,” Geoff whined as he sat down.

“Why?” Griffon asked, not trying to comfort him in any way like she normally would have. Ever since the new year began Griffon had been acting very strange around her boyfriend, distant. She wasn’t very touchy or excited about going on dates or kissing as she used to be.

“I don’t have any classes with you,” he pouted, she smiled but turned back to her meal, ignoring the concerned look her boyfriend shot her.

“Plus we just had a monster test in math,” Jack pointed out.

They were two weeks into their sophomore year and each of them was handling it pretty well. Geoff, while upset he didn’t have class with his girlfriend, was doing pretty well already, studying sessions with his friends were really helping him out. Jack was excelling in all of his classes already which was pretty much expected. Ray was already struggling in math, but Ryan, being in his English class offered to help him study before tests and finals. Ryan was ecstatic about having a class with Ray, and having a class with Gavin, so he could get information straight from the source and the source’s best friend. Michael was doing fine, got to hang out with Gavin a lot and was really looking forward to the new school year. Gavin was doing fair enough; he and Michael got to be partners in bio so that was perfect for them.

“Fuck!” Ray exclaimed causing Gavin to jump.

“What?” Ryan asked concerned.

“You just reminded me that I have a math test tomorrow,” he said, sliding down in his chair.

“You’re fucked,” Michael told him.

"Way to be supportive," Lindsay chuckled.

“No he's right,” Ray sighed.

“Hey, come on, don’t think like that,” Ryan soothed. “Here, how about you come over after school and we can study,” he offered.

“Really?” Ray asked.

“Sure man,”

“They’re totally gonna bang,” Geoff stage whispered.

“You wish,” Ryan laughed.

“If we do, want us to film it for you Geoffy?” Ray asked.

“God no, the last thing I ever want to see in this world is the two of you getting it on,” he grimaced. They all chuckled and fell into their own little conversations for the rest of lunch. Soon though, the bell was ringing and they were making their way to their third block classes.

Ray and Ryan made their way to the second floor for their English class, walking side by side silently. When they made it to the room they sat in their assigned seats which happened to be right next to each other since heir teacher went by first name and since Ray and Ryan were the only “R’s” in their class they were together in the second to last row.

“Alright class,” their teacher, Miss. Shaw greeted, “so as I mentioned last week, this year’s unit is about creative writing more than anything else. So, each of you are going to partner up and come get a genre of story from me and then you have two weeks to create that story,” she announced. Ryan and Ray immediately looked at each other and nodded, they totally had this.

“When I say go, you’ll pick your partner and then one of you can come see me, tell me who you’re working with and I’ll give you your genre,” she grinned. “Go!”

“I’ll go,” Ryan stood from his seat and made his way to Miss. Shaw’s desk.

“Ryan, first one, who’s your partner?” she smiled.

“Ray,” he told her, she nodded, writing it down in her book and setting down a stack of laminated index cards. Each had a word on it, each a genre of story. Ryan’s eyes zeroed in on the green card with the word _Romance_ written across it.

“Good choice,” she told him when he reached for it. He nodded and brought the card back to his seat showing Ray.

“Dude this’ll be easy,” Ray cheered.

“And we can work on it after we study for math today,” Ryan said. “Actually, do you just wanna spend the night?” he asked.

“Sure,” Ray shrugged.

They huddled together for the rest of the period trying to figure out a good enough story to write, they had all sorts of ideas, _two people meet in a coffee shop?_ Too clichéd. _Two rivals in school get partnered up and fall in love?_ Also clichéd. By the end of the period they had come up with nothing good, so they decided they’d figure it out later and said goodbye as they parted ways to their next classes.

~~~

“Class today we have a new student joining us. Everyone, this is Caleb, let’s make him feel at home, yeah?” Mr. Parr announced, gesturing to a tall boy with brown hair standing awkwardly beside him.

A few halfhearted greetings were exchanged and then the students were set off to finish their book work from the day before.

“Caleb I want you to work with Michael and Gavin in the back,” he said pointing two where the two were hunched over working closely.

Gavin looked up when he heard his name and smiled at the boy as he crossed the room and sat silently across from them. “I’m Gavin,” he introduced shaking the boys hand.

“Caleb,” he smiled. Michael made no move to speak so Gavin rolled his eyes and elbowed his best friend.

“This is Michael,” Gavin said smiling fondly at the boy. Caleb nodded and opened his book to the page written on the board.

“Where are you from?” Gavin asked him.

“California,” he told him and immediately he was bombarded with all sorts of questions on what the west coast was like. He answered them all happily though, flattered that someone was so interested. Michael however, was not happy with all the attention Gavin was giving this kid.

There was only ten minutes of the class left and Gavin hadn’t said more than ten words to Michael after Caleb joined them. Finally Michael slammed his book shut and started packing up, Caleb and Gavin both jumped but didn’t comment until the teacher told them they could leave early and they all made their way into the halls.

“What’s wrong Michael?” the Brit asked walking beside him.

“Nothing, are you coming over or not?” was his response.

“If you want me too,” Gavin said slowly. Michael nodded and grabbed his wrist leading him out towards his bus.

The ride to his home was silent, the two boys each busy on their phones and staring out the windows. Gavin knew Michael was mad at him. For what, he wasn’t sure yet. He figured it had to do with something that happened in biology since that’s when he started acting weird.

“Come on,” Michael snapped when the bus stopped on his street, pushing Gavin out of the seat and dragging him down the aisle. Gavin trailed behind him gripping his hand back just as tightly.

Once they were inside they threw their bags on the floor by the closet and skipped up the steps into Michael’s room. It was then that Michael finally released Gavin and started setting up his Xbox for them to play.

“So,” Gavin started, testing Michael’s reaction, “Caleb seems pretty cool,” he said. Michael was facing away from him, but Gavin saw the way his shoulders tensed up and his head froze facing forward.

“He’s alright,” he shrugged finally, turning back to Gavin and getting comfortable next to him.

“Wait, I promised my mom we’d get our homework done first,” Gavin told him, reaching for his controller and setting it down.

“Fine,” Michael groaned dramatically throwing himself down across Gavin’s lap.

He waited another ten minutes before mentioning anything again, this time now facing Michael to watch his reaction better.

“California seems pretty cool, huh?” Gavin said, Michael’s eyes snapped up from his book and glared at him, but he said nothing, just shrugged again.

“What’d you get for number five?” Michael asked moments later, taking Gavin’s paper off of his lap and scanning it.

“Maybe one day we could all go there, Caleb said they have really good-“ he never managed to finish his sentence since Michael was on him too quickly.

“Why are you so obsessed with Caleb?” he snarled. Gavin was startled by the sudden aggression and tried to free himself from underneath his friend.

“Why don’t you like him?” Gavin countered when he saw that getting away was impossible.

“Answer me first,” Michael demanded.

“Oh come on, you were being a jerk all fourth block,” Gavin snapped. Michael released his wrists but kept himself seated on top of him.

“You two were practically flirting right in front of me, it was annoying,” the redhead mumbled.

“Flirting, what?” Gavin asked leaning up on his elbows.

“All over each other!” Michael yelled.

“Oh come on, I was getting to know him. You don’t know what it’s like being the new kid and not knowing anybody,” Gavin explained.

“So you’re not gonna go off with him and fall in love and leave me all alone?” Michael asked suspiciously.

“Of course not!” he laughed. Michael grinned at him and rolled off, throwing their textbooks to the floor and telling Gavin that they were done with work for a while. Gavin agreed and soon they were shooting each other in videogames and pushing each other off the bed to try and distract them.

~~~

“And that’s how X equals seven,” Ryan explained again, circling the answer and looking at Ray for confirmation.

“So all I have to do is subtract this from this,” he said pointing it out, “and divide by this?” he drew a square around the big _2x_ Ryan had written and grinned when the other boy nodded at him encouragingly.

“That’s it!” he cheered. “You’ve got this man,” he patted him on the back and began putting his math supplies away.

“Okay, so English,” Ray stated, opening his notebook to a clear page and writing _Romance_ across the top with their names next to it.

“We should do something realistic right?” Ryan asked.

“Something everyone can relate to,” the black haired boy nodded.

“Something not to clichéd,” Ryan said in thought.

“Everything is clichéd Ryan,” Ray pointed out, the other boy nodded and they both thought for a minute before a light bulb seemed to go off in Ray’s head. “Two best friends that are in love, but don’t know they are,” he exclaimed, snapping his fingers. Ryan nodded enthusiastically and grabbed the notebook from Ray’s hands, writing details out as Ray talked.

“We should study Michael and Gavin for this,” Ryan joked, but when he saw the way Ray looked at him, jaw slacked and eyes wide he knew there was no way out.

“You’re a genius!” he yelled.

They spent the rest of the night sitting across from each other planning every detail of their two character’s lives before them, getting closer and more excited as the minutes passed. By nine o’clock they were both sitting against the headboard with Ryan’s laptop between them, Ray’s head on the broader boys shoulder, eyes dropping shut. Ryan typed quietly, trying not to disturb the peaceful boy next to him when eventually Ryan’s mom knocked on the door and they both jumped at the sudden sound.

“Goodnight boys,” she said blowing Ryan a kiss and stepping out as she did every night. Ryan shook his head embarrassed, but he was smiling so Ray knew he wasn’t upset.

He sat up and looked at the clock before looking at Ryan next to him, “sorry,” he mumbled rubbing his tired eyes.

“It’s fine,” Ryan answered, saving their work and shutting his laptop before climbing out of bed and tossing Ray a pair of pajama pants.

He went into the bathroom and changed, giving Ray a few minutes before stepping back in and finding the small boy burrowed under the covers, glasses set on the nightstand and eyes tightly shut. He climbed over him and slid under the blankets next to him, reaching over and shutting the light off before shifting backwards, trying to give Ray space. Ray however, was having none of that as he turned around and curled into Ryan’s chest and wrapping one of his arms around his best friend’s waist.

Ryan smiled and did the same.

~~~

The rest of the week blew by and soon it was Saturday afternoon and Gavin was making his way to Ray’s house. Movie night that week had to be delayed as Ray’s grandmother was visiting and they had to go out to dinner, so they pushed it back a day. Gavin was the first one there since it was only four in the afternoon and everyone else had errands to run with family or in Geoff’s case he had a date with Griffon for lunch.

Gavin and Caleb had gotten to know each other much better over the rest of the week much to _someone’s_ dismay. They exchanged numbers and texted like crazy day and night and it was driving Michael absolutely crazy. He had given up on trying to get Gavin’s attention during class, so he settled on doing the work silently and letting them add him in on something every once in a while. He didn’t like Caleb and the stupid way he looked at the Brit, he didn’t like his ‘better than you’ attitude he gave off and he really didn’t like how he had Gavin wrapped around his finger.

He never voiced this to anyone though, afraid that all he’d get would be teasing and fake advice from his friends. So he sat quietly fuming in his seat waiting for Gavin to ask what’s wrong before playing it off as nothing and eventually, Gavin would be following him around and asking him what their plans were for the day.

So really it wasn’t that bad since even though Gavin was spending some of his day with Caleb, flirting and chatting away, he’d ended up spending every night at Michael’s that week.

Ray and Ryan had made great progress on their English project. First he had aced his math test and then spent lunch with Ryan reading sappy romance novels that the school’s library offered. When asked what they were doing they’d snap their heads up and quickly say ‘research’ before ducking their heads back down and reading the next line. Eventually their friends decided that they would drop it and just see how it played out even though their curiosity was through the roof.

They had also spent almost every night that week together, curled around each other in Ryan’s bed working on their English paper or watching romantic movies and pretending to be the characters after. Confessing their undying love for each other and throwing themselves into the others arms. They ended up giggling until the early hours of the morning more than once that week, passed out for only a few hours of sleep on top of each other. Even though they woke up exhausted and wishing death would come, when they thought about it they were sure they’d never been happier.

Gavin finally made it to Ray’s house and was let in by the boy’s mother who told him to go on up to his room. When he entered he was met with Ray sitting at his desk typing furiously on his keyboard.

“What’re you doing?” he asked causing the other boy to jump.

“Nothing!” he shouted saving and shutting down quickly before swiveling around to face his friend, smiling innocently.

“O…kay?” Gavin said slowly.

“What’s up?” Ray asked leading them to the bed and sitting down. Gavin let it go and flopped himself down on the bed next to him, sighing.

“Michael’s acting weird,” Gavin announced.

“When isn’t he?” Ray joked.

“There’s this new boy, Caleb, he’s in our bio class and Michael seems to hate him,” Gavin explained. Ray’s interest was piqued and soon he was pulling Gavin to sit up across from him and give him details.

“Well,” he started, face turning red, “we’ve been texting everyday and he’s really funny and sweet,” Gavin gushed.

“Do you have a crush?” Ray asked placing a hand over his heart and gasping.

“Maybe?” Gavin said unsurely.

“Dude get it!” Ray cried raising his hand for a high five.

“How’re you and Ryan?” Gavin changed the subject. This time it was Ray’s face that was covered in red and the other was smirking.

“We’re fine,” he shrugged.

“Oh come on! You spent the whole week at his house; you’re telling me nothing’s happened?” Gavin asked in disbelief.

“Nothing,” Ray confirmed.

“What!” Gavin squeaked.

“Dude, I’m scared,” Ray admitted, Gavin tilted his head in confusion and waited for him to continue. “I’ve never been with a guy before, what if it’s all awkward and different and we end up hating it?” he babbled.

“I’ve never been with a bloke either,” Gavin said thoughtfully. “I wonder what it’s like,” he muttered after. A long silence dragged out between them before they made eye contact.

“Well,” Ray started shrugging.

“What?” Gavin asked.

“We’re both blokes right?” Ray asked.

“Yeah?” Gavin answered.

“What if we…” he trailed off.

“Kissed?” Gavin finished for him. Ray nodded shyly and they both turned away from each other for a moment.

“Just to try it out, ya know?” Ray shrugged.

“It doesn’t have to mean anything right?” the smaller asked turning back to him. Ray’s eyes snapped up to his and he began nodding frantically.

“Of course not. We don’t actually have feelings for each other. Right?” he asked after a beat.

“No, no!” Gavin protested. “And no one else knows?” he asked after looking from Ray’s eyes to his lips twice.

“Nope,” Ray answered, popping the ‘p’ and leaning just a tad closer.

“Okay,” Gavin whispered leaning a little closer.

“Okay,” Ray echoed and then they were only inches apart, looking between each other’s eyes and mouths before Ray closed the gap between them and sealed their lips together in a tight kiss.

Gavin, out of fear of messing it up, didn’t know how or when to move, so he sat patiently waiting for Ray to do something and he wasn’t disappointed. The black haired boy pressed harder, opening his mouth just enough to let his tongue slide through and across Gavin’s bottom lip. Gavin opened up for him and let him take charge, pushing against him and letting himself be shoved back just the slightest bit until he was almost on his back on Ray’s bed.

“She’s infuriating! How can she just act like nothings…“ Geoff ranted as he threw the door open. Gavin quickly threw the other boy off of him and looked at Geoff standing with his mouth wide open in horror by the door.

“Griffon? What’s wrong with Griffon?” Ray asked trying to stall.

“She’s been acting really weird and barely kissing me back,” Geoff said completely monotone.

“Oh,” Ray whispered avoiding eye contact.

“So, uh, what the fuck?” he asked looking them up and down.

“It’s nothing,” Gavin said urgently.

“Really?” Geoff wiggled his eyebrows, “how long were you like that before I walked in?” he asked smirking.

“Not very long,” Gavin said waving his hands defensively in front of him.

“Ray?” Geoff asked turning to the other boy who seemed to shrink under his gaze.

“Geoff, look. I swear it meant nothing, it was an… experiment if you will,” he offered.

“Please don’t tell Michael, or Ryan!” Gavin shrieked.

“Tell Michael or Ryan what?” Jack asked stepping into the room sipping on a can of coke.

“Nothing!” Gavin said quickly. Jack turned to Ray and saw him shaking his head furiously before turning to Geoff and looking at him expectantly.

“Nothing dude,” Geoff agreed.

“Whatever,” Jack rolled his eyes, “Ray, you’re mom just left to go shopping, said she’d be back in an hour or so,” he informed heading downstairs leaving the others to follow.

“If something goes wrong, I didn’t know,” Geoff told them both with a wink before starting down the stairs.

“What do we do?” Gavin asked him.

“Just, play it cool,” Ray snapped following the others. Gavin nodded and began making his way downstairs, but when the doorbell rang and Geoff opened it to reveal Michael no one noticed the way he held his breath.

“Let’s fucking party!” he shouted, throwing his bags in front of the closet with everyone else’s.

“Ryan isn’t here yet,” Ray pointed out and laughed at the pout Michael sent him.

“Fine,” he grumbled stalking into the living room.

Only five minutes later Ryan showed up and they began to set up in Ray’s living room, pillows and blankets thrown carelessly around the room as everyone claimed their spots. Today Ray and Ryan ended up fighting with Geoff for the recliner which the other boy eventually gave into, telling them, ‘fine suck each other off in my chair, see if I care.’

An hour later they were all piled on the couch or in front of it playing Halo, Ray and Gavin decided to switch things up on everyone and be a team, something Geoff seemed to make huge deal out of.

“Oh my God Gavin killed me to save Ray. Ray I bet you could kiss him right now, huh?” he said unnecessarily loud, elbowing Ray in the side and wiggling his eyebrows. Everyone was staring at him in confusion except for Ray, who was glaring, and Gavin, who was quivering in fear.

“What?” Jack finally asked, laughing awkwardly. He looked between the three for a long moment before it clicked. “Holy shit,” he deadpanned.

“What?” Ryan asked.

“Nothing,” Jack said waving him off, laugh escaping his mouth as he stood and quickly made his way into the kitchen claiming he needed a drink.

“They’d be cute right? They should bang,” Geoff said leaning forward and making eye contact with Ryan.

“No, no we shouldn’t,” Gavin squeaked.

“Anyway!” Ray exclaimed un-pausing the game and killing Geoff’s character almost instantly. They finished the round and started another one, barely talking to each other after that last awkward bit. Geoff kept sending glances the two boys’ way and they kept glaring back or, in Gavin’s case, begging him with eyes to shut up. Michael was watching the three closely and he knew something was definitely up.

“Do you guys wanna watch a movie after this round?” he asked finally breaking the tension stretching across them.

“Yeah- bollocks!” Gavin yelled as his character was shot by Ryan for the third time that round.

“Suck it Gavin!” the other boy shouted.

“God dammit Ray!” Jack said dropping his controller and tackling the small boy to the ground. “Stop camping you asshole,” he gritted as he wrestled the other boy down.

“Stop sucking at video games,” Ray countered gathering a resounding ‘oooooo’ from their friends.

“Fucking got ‘em,” Michael said in a low register.

“Did he though?” Ryan asked unsurely.

“I don’t fucking know,” Michael shrugged turning back to the game and killing Ray’s character, ending the round and throwing his controller to the floor to join Jack’s.

“Suck my knob!” he threw his fists up in victory and did a dance in the center of the room.

“I was winning!” Ray cried from under Jack. “Dick,” he muttered pushing his friend off him, but he smiled after so they knew he wasn’t really that mad.

“You aren’t gonna break another controller are you?” Gavin snarked.

“I’ll break you,” Ray threatened jokingly, pretending to leap at the Brit.

“I bet you’d like to,” Geoff called, opening up the Netflix app and scrolling through movies. “Gay,” he mumbled after.

“Yes Geoff, you’ve realized that Gav and I are gay, congrats,” he told him pretending to clap.

“Shut up,” he muttered. They decided on watching ‘Mean Girls’ because Ray insisted and the others thought it would be a good laugh, but half way through the movie as usual they were all off in their own conversations or half asleep.

“Ray it’s not even midnight you can’t be falling asleep,” Michael told him in disbelief.

“Dude I was up late last night, leave me alone,” he said followed with a yawn.

“Up late doing what?” Geoff asked, “you got off Xbox at like ten,” he glared.

“Nothing, I was doing nothing,” he said when Ryan nudged him. Truth was, they had been on Skype all night working on their English project and it was actually coming out really well, Ray had plenty of info for their main character Zack, based on Gavin, and Ryan had the perfect story for their second main character, Noah, based on Michael.

“Gavin, you got off shortly after too,” Geoff said in thought, “you two together?” he asked after looking between the two. Michael and Jack turned to look at them suspiciously before giving up.

“No,” Gavin shook his head, “I went to bed,” he told them.

“I was just reading and doing homework,” Ray shrugged.

“Thought you were doing ‘nothing,’” Geoff said using air quotes.

“Why are you interrogating him?” Ryan finally asked getting in between the two. He looked over at Gavin and then at Ray for a long moment, a look of suspicion on his face before turning back to Geoff.

“Just asking a question,” Geoff said holding his hands up defensively.

“How about you let it go?” Michael suggested, Geoff shrugged and turned back to the movie just in time to see Regina get hit by the bus.

“Get wrecked,” Ray said drowsily before shutting his eyes and turning on his side, burrowing into Ryan. The blonde chuckled at him and pulled a blanket up over them, turning the small lamp next to them off and closing his eyes.

“Looks like we’re going to bed,” Jack concluded turning the movie off, shoving Gavin and Michael away from the couch so he and Geoff could pull it out.

When Michael and Gavin set their pillows down next to each other as usual Michael looked over to where Ray was one more time before looking back at Gavin, who shrunk back under his gaze and that’s when Michael knew something had obviously happened between the two, and they were trying really hard to keep it from the others. Gavin didn’t say anything, nor did he give Michael the chance to as he was quickly saying goodnight and turning away from the redhead. Michael watched him carefully for a few minutes after but as usual he wrapped an arm around the boy and shifted close.

They had all been asleep for a good few hours when Gavin woke up, throat dry and head pounding. He carefully untangled himself from Michael and rolled from under him. He noticed the clock on Ray’s wall said _2:28 am_ as he waddled into the kitchen and took a cup out. What he didn’t know was that he had woken Michael on his way out and that the redhead was right behind him.

“What’s going on?” he whispered behind the small boy causing him to jump and drop the cup he was holding, thankfully it was empty and plastic so it landed with a hollow thud, not waking anyone else up.

“What the hell Michael?” he snapped at him, rubbing his eyes and picking the cup back up, turning on the tap and letting it run.

“Answer me,” he demanded.

“Michael it’s almost three in the morning, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Gavin groaned taking a big gulp of water.

“Geoff’s acting weird, keeps talking about you and Ray. Is there something going on with you two?” he asked glaring.

“No!” Gavin said quickly, too quickly. Michael narrowed his eyes even more and pursed his lips. Gavin shook his head again and tried pushing past him, back to the living room but Michael stopped him by wrapping a hand around his wrist tugging him back.

“What happened?” he asked as calmly as he could manage.

“We kissed,” Gavin admitted, looking down.

“When?” Michael was shocked, he had thought about it, but didn’t think it would actually happen.

“Before you all got here,” Gavin still wouldn’t look at him so he missed the sad look Michael gave him. The grip around his wrist loosening slightly before tightening back up.

“Why?”

“We were just talking about how neither of us has kissed a boy, so, why not?” he shrugged.

“Are you guys like together now?” the redhead inquired.

“No, no, we don’t like each other,” Gavin shook his head vigorously, still looking at the floor. “We were just… curious,” he shrugged.

“So Ryan has nothing to worry about?” Gavin shook his head and then Michael took a small step closer before whispering, “Why Ray?”

Gavin’s head snapped up, green eyes instantly meeting Michael’s brown ones. “What?” he said softly.

“Why didn’t you ask me?” he asked, suddenly shy. He squeezed Gavin’s wrist once more before finally releasing it.

“I- I don’t-“ Gavin stuttered, but before he could come up with a real answer Jack was shuffling into the kitchen, stretching tired limps and yawning.

“What’re you two doing up?” he asked blinking rapidly.

“Just getting some water,” Michael told him taking Gavin’s cup from his other hand and chugging the rest. He set it in the sink and stalked off back to his sleeping bag, Gavin following silently behind him.

They each lay down facing away from each other, staying as tightly curled around themselves as they could, making sure no part of them touched the other. Gavin mentally kicked himself for not saying something, for not saying

_I wish I did._

But he knew Michael’s answer would not have been

_I wish you did too._

So it really wasn’t that hard for him to shut his eyes and drift off to sleep. But why was it so hard for Michael?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, Ray and Gavin, aye? Don't worry it's not like, a thing, it was just an experiment for them that won't be a big deal at all really. Except to Michael for not, he's a big boy, he'll get over it. I hope you all enjoyed and we'll learn more about Geoff and Griffon and her distance in the next chapter.  
> Hope to hear from you guys soon!


	9. Chapter 9

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1) _  
_

~~~

_“Why would you do that?” Zack yelled pushing Noah further into the living room and slamming the door behind them. “Why would you purposefully get in the middle of a fight that you know you can’t handle!” he ranted._

_“Can you just stop yelling at me for half a damn second?” Noah snapped rubbing his temples. Zack’s hard glare softened then, watching as his best friend tried to calm his pounding head, dried blood still caked on the left side of his face. He led him to the couch and then took a few steps back, needing to keep distance between them._

_“Noah, you can’t fight everyone just because they said something mean to me. Those are my battles, let me fight them,” Zack told him gently. “I can’t have you getting hurt all the time for me,” he reached out for his best friend, but at the last minute he stopped, letting his hand hang in the air for a long moment before dropping it back to his side._

_“Why not?” Noah mumbled looking straight at him._

_“You aren’t in charge of keeping me safe. You don’t need to be my protector,” Zack whispered and it then it was like something just… snapped inside of Noah, he was crossing the room in seconds, face red and angry._

_“Don’t you get it by now?” he asked once they were standing nose to nose._

_“Get what?” Zack asked, fear flashing across his face briefly._

_“I don’t_ need _to be your protector, but I sure as hell want to be and not just for now. You know, for someone with straight A’s you are really fucking stupid,”_

_“What are you on about?” Zack shook his head confused._

_“I love you, you stupid moron,” Noah snarled. Zack took another step back, hitting the wall and getting cornered by his best friend._

_“Don’t say it if you don’t mean it,” Zack told him pushing against his chest weakly._

_“I mean it,” Noah whispered, dropping his head into his best friend’s neck and just breathing in his scent, reveling in the closeness and warmth._

_“You don’t, you don’t love me, you_ can’t _love me,” Zack was shaking his head furiously, tears swimming in his eyes, threatening to spill over._

_“Why not?” Noah asked him, gaze hardening._

_“You’ve never loved me, you’re just confused,” Zack whispered._

_“Zack, I’m gonna tell you something right now, and I want you to listen really closely okay? I don’t want you interrupting,” he told him. When the other boy nodded he took a deep breath and looked straight into his eyes._

_“I have loved you for so long now that I feel like I’ve lived through a thousand centuries with you already. It was like I met you one day and you just stole my heart before I was even ready to give it away, and for some reason I was always okay with that. I am done denying what I’ve always wanted, I’m done lying to myself and to you,” he told him, his own eyes misting over. I love you Zack, I love you, I love you, I love you,” he repeated over and over, eyes never leaving the other boys. “Am I clear?” he asked after._

_Zack couldn’t form real words, just shook his head up and down a couple of times before he was being pulled forward by the collar of his shirt and had another mouth slammed into his._

“That was bloody brilliant!” Gavin exclaimed, finally closing the thick booklet Ray had given him to read over the day.

“Yeah, you guys make an awesome team,” Michael said handing his booklet back to Ryan and smiling at them.

The two had finished their assignment a day early and turned it in excitedly, they were quite proud of their work and kept telling themselves that if they got a bad grade at least they gave it their all.

So they were very pleasantly surprised when they walked in the next day to see two printed copies of their story on their desks, a bright red _A+_ on the front of them. They yelled so loud that other students stared in annoyance and confusion while the two boys jumped up and down hugging each other wildly.

After that they agreed instantly that they would tell their friends about it and definitely rub it in their faces every chance they had, but they were certain that they’d start by giving the stories to Michael and Gavin.

“Thanks,” Ray blushed.

“We had some great inspiration,” Ryan said pointedly looking at the two. He nudged Ray casually and watched as Michael thought hard before snapping his fingers.

“Geoff and Griffon,” he smirked. Ray and Ryan knew he wasn’t joking and when Gavin nodded in agreement they realized how clueless their friends really were.

“Yeah,” Ryan smiled. Michael and Gavin congratulated them once more before announcing that they had to go wait for Michael’s parents to get them as it was boi’s night. They walked away; arm’s looped through each others, wide grins on their faces.

“Wow,” was all Ryan could manage. He turned to Ray to find his partner standing, mouth agape and eyes twitching slightly.

“Holy shit,” he said, eyes not moving from the two boy’s backs as they reached the exit of the school.

“They really- wow,” Ryan said again scratching his head.

“Fucking idiots,” Ray muttered, stuffing their story into his locker and slamming the door shut.

“Come on, let’s get celebratory ice cream, on me,” Ryan offered, wrapping an arm around the smaller boy’s shoulders and leading him towards the doors.

“Sounds good to me,” Ray smiled, wrapping his arm around Ryan’s waist. “You staying at mine tonight?” he asked.

“You know it,” his friend winked.

~~~

“I almost told her last night, but I just couldn’t bring myself to say it,” Geoff whined the next day at lunch. It was only the guys that day minus Gavin since Griffon had taken all the girls and gone to the library to study and Gavin had gone to sit with Caleb, much to Michael’s annoyance.

“So just blurt it out,” Ray suggested.

“Dude no way,” Geoff protested, “I have to make this special for her,” he told him.

“I’m sure you’ll figure something out,” Ryan said encouragingly.

“I better,” he muttered.

They each fell into their own conversations except for Michael who turned around every so often to watch Gavin and Caleb leaning close to each other on opposite sides of the table, giggling like children.

“Hey Michael,” a sweet voice interrupted his staring; he turned to see Kara standing beside him.

“Hey,” he said easily.

“Do you have the English notes?” she asked, eyes wide and innocent, smile anything but.

“Yeah,” he said ruffling through his bag and producing her with a small stack of papers, “here,” he said as she took them.

“I’ll give them back tomorrow,” she winked skipping off back towards her friends.

“Wow,” Jack laughed.

“What?” Michael asked; face snapping towards the ginger haired boy.

“She’s pretty obvious,” he said.

“Obvious? About what?” Michael asked confused.

“She wants you,” Ray called from across the table, getting elbowed in the stomach from Ryan.

“What? No she doesn’t,” Michael said shaking his head.

“Yeah sure,” Ray laughed.

“Whatever you say,” Jack added. They dropped it and turned back to what they were doing before, Michael turned back to Gavin and Caleb’s table just in time to see Caleb whisper something that made the Brit go bright red, well Michael was going red too, but for completely different reasons he was sure.

“Fuck it,” he finally snapped pushing away from the table, the others wincing at the sound of his chair scraping across the floor. He stood and calmly strode across the cafeteria to where his best friend and Caleb were sitting.

“You’ll at least think about it?” Caleb was asking when Michael made it; he leaned back and looked at Michael coolly, nodding his head in greeting. “Hey,” he said, Gavin turned to see who he was talking to and grinned when he saw it was his favorite redhead.

“Hey,” Michael nodded back, looking down at Gavin and grinning as he placed a heavy hand on his boi’s shoulder. “Sorry to interrupt,” he started, not sounding sorry at all, “but I’d like to steal my friend back now,” he announced.

“He’s all yours,” Caleb smiled, looking at Gavin and mouthing _it’s okay, later,_ when Gavin looked at him apologetically.

“See you in bio,” he called out as Michael’s grip on his wrist tightened as he dragged him across the room back to their table. They weren’t far when Gavin finally ripped his arm from Michael’s grasp, glaring when his friend turned around.

“What?” Michael asked trying to look innocent.

“That was rude,” Gavin snapped, “like really rude,” he added.

“I missed you,” Michael pouted, Gavin’s glare hardened.

“That doesn’t mean you get to be a dick,” he pointed out.

“I wasn’t! I was very nice I think,” he nodded. Gavin rolled his eyes, turned on his heel and marched out of the cafeteria. “Come on Gav!” Michael called after him, ignoring the curious glances of the surrounding tables.

“Good one dumbass,” he head Ray snicker.

“Whose side are you on?” Michael snapped.

“Yours baby,” Ray bled him a kiss but before Michael could hit him the bell rang and he and Ryan were taking off. Michael gathered his belongings and stormed out.

~~~

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Lindsay asked Griffon for the third time that class period.

“Guys, I’m fine,” she repeated again, seeming annoyed this time.

“You have been acting really… odd lately,” Gavin said.

“No I haven’t,” she brushed him off.

  
“Geoff’s been worried about you,” he told her.

Her eyes hardened. “Oh, Geoff’s worried? Good to know he cares,” she snapped.

“Whoa, what’s going on?” Lindsay asked reaching out and placing a comforting hand on the blonde’s shoulder.

“We’ve been together for a year,” she sighed finally, “and Geoff’s never once told me that he- that he loves me,” she finished, it sounding like it was hard for her to get out and Gavin leaned forward placing his hand on her other shoulder squeezing lightly.

And _wow_ , Gavin thought. _It’s like a bloody movie._ Geoff being too chicken to tell Griffon how he felt was actually pushing her away. He could’ve laughed if he didn’t have a very distressed girl in front of him, looking on the verge of crying.

“Oh come on!” Lindsay exclaimed, causing them both to jump. “There’s plenty of ways to say ‘I love you’ without actually saying it,” she smiled.

“Yeah like… buckle up!” Gavin snapped.

“And, get some rest,” Lindsay added.

“Or, stay warm,” Gavin smiled.

“Or-“

“Okay I get it,” Griffon cut them off, but she had a small smile on her face now.

“Look, Geoff is an idiot, I’ve known since sixth grade when he asked what year the war of _1812_ started,” Lindsay said pulling laughs out of the other two.

“Yeah,” Gavin agreed, “Just because he hasn’t said it doesn’t mean he doesn’t feel it,” Gavin told her. She sighed, but turned back to her assignment, for the rest of class.

When the bell rang she packed up and took off before Lindsay or Gavin could speak to her again. Gavin said goodbye to Lindsay and pulled his phone from his pocket shooting Geoff a quick text, _just tell her you love her dipshit._ He had just hit send when he was colliding with a tall solid body.

“Sorry,” he said still looking down, too embarrassed to look at who had just run into. Two large hands came to rest on his hips squeezing gently and he finally looked up to see Caleb smiling down at him.

“Hey Gavvy,” he said finally.

“Hi,” he whispered, noticing how close they still were. Caleb quickly stepped back, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head and stepping aside.

“I’ll walk with you to class,” Caleb said breaking the tension and smiling at him.

“So, I was thinking about earlier,” Gavin told him watching the realization spread across the other’s face.

“Oh! And?” he asked suddenly excited.

“A movie sounds nice,” he replied, cheeks flushed.

“Great! I’ll meet you at the theater at noon?” he asked walking into their class room.

Gavin nodded as the bell rang before turning and finally noticing Michael sitting, waiting patiently. Before they could talk they were being moved around the room for the pop-quiz, not that Gavin really wanted to speak to Michael then anyway.

Michael on the other hand was even more pissed then he was at lunch. _He_ left him. Michael just wanted to see his best friend as he did every day. Gavin had no right to get so mad at him. When Michael made it to biology he was fully ready to sort it out with Gavin, but he was nowhere to be found. _He’s always here first,_ Michael thought, taking his seat and watching the door anxiously.

Finally, only seconds before the bell was ringing Gavin walked in, followed closely by Caleb, stupid smiles on both of their faces. Michael glared until their teacher was in telling them they were having a pop-quiz and was moving their seats around making it impossible for the two to talk to each other.

“I thought you said quiz!” another student called out from the back of the room. Groaning when all their teacher did was smile and place a rather large stack of papers on the girls desk.

Michael turned around trying to catch Gavin’s eye, trying to say _good luck_ even when he was mad at him, it was a thing they always did when they shared classes, a quick little _good luck_ to help them not freak out as much.

“Jones eye’s forward!” Mr. Parr snapped causing the boy to whip around and all the other students to look at him curiously.

“Sorry Sir,” he said looking down at his quiz and getting to work.

~~~

“Griffon, can we talk?” Geoff asked standing at her locker after school. She looked up from her bag and slammed her locker door shut.

“Sure,” she started walking away fast, making it difficult for Geoff to keep up. Finally he grabbed her hand when they made it outside stopping her and turning her to face him.

“We aren’t going to my house,” he told her tugging her in the opposite direction, giving her hand a tight squeeze and refusing to let go.

“Then where are we going?” she asked.

“The park,” he smiled, they had never actually gone together, but he remembered her telling him that it was one of her favorite places in town. That a lot of the time she’d sneak out at night and just sit on one of the benches along the trail of flowers.

“Cool,” she shrugged letting him guide her across the street and onto the sidewalk. She either didn’t realize she was still holding his hand, or she just chose to ignore it since she didn’t pull away as if burned.

Once the trail came into view Geoff snuck a quick look at her face, mouth set in a straight line, eyes hard, but curious as he led her onto the path. They didn’t walk far, stopping and resting on the first bench they found. He finally let go of her hand, resting his hands in his lap trying to think of the right words to say. The only sounds were the rustling of leaves and the chirping of birds, calming Geoff down immensely, but only causing Griffon to become more anxious as the silence dragged out.

“If you’re dumping me, please just do it,” she finally blurted.

“What?” Geoff turned to her, reaching for her hand and gripping it tightly. He let go then, instead he reached both hands out and gripped her shoulders turning her to face him. “Is that why you’ve been acting so weird?” he asked then, trailing his hands up and down her arms softly. She didn’t say anything, just looked down, hair coming to cover her red and embarrassed face.

“You think I’m dumping you?” he whispered, brushing her hair back with both hands then, abandoning her shoulders and leaving his palms on her cheeks.

She nodded once, finally meeting his eyes quickly before trying to pull away from him, turning back. He was quick to grab her again, softly turning him to her and peppering her face with tiny kisses.

“Griffon I would never,” he said slightly offended. “Why would you think that?” he asked after.

“We’ve been together for over a year and I- Geoff I love you, and you’ve never… I thought you didn’t…” she trailed off.

Gavin’s text made sense now, and damn when did he life become a shitty rom-com? He wanted to laugh, he wanted to scream, and he even kind of wanted to cry at the stupidity of it. She was crying now though so he didn’t think much longer about it, instead he just grabbed her face in a furious kiss, stealing all the doubts from her mind.

“Don’t ever assume I don’t love you,” he told her against her lips. “I’m stupid,” he said. “I kept wanting to tell you, but it never felt like the right moment. I wanted it to be amazing and special and I fucked it up in the end,” he babbled. “I’m so sorry,” he said kissing her again.

“Better now than never,” she said pulling away, giving a weak chuckle. She reached up to wipe at her tear streaked face, but Geoff was quicker, wiping her tears away and crushing her into his chest rubbing her back soothingly.

“I’m sorry, I love you,” he whispered over and over, rocking her back and forth gently. Griffon finally pulled away and smiled at him softly, pulling him towards her and kissing him.

“We’re idiots,” she giggled. Geoff laughed and shook his head.

“But we’re each other’s idiots,” he answered pulling her back to him.

~~~

Gavin wasn’t home alone very long after school, because almost a half hour later Michael was showing up and knocking impatiently on the door.

“If I failed that stupid test I’m blaming you,” he said as soon as he stepped into the house.

“What are you on about?” Gavin asked irritated.

“You didn’t say good luck,” Michael pointed out. Gavin rolled his eyes and turned, walking back into the living room quickly, redhead hot on his heels.

“Can you stop being mad at me now?” Michael begged once they made it to the center of the room.

“You’ve been acting like a right mong,” Gavin snapped crossing his arms.

“I’m sorry!” Michael threw his hands up, “I just get a bad vibe from him,” he whispered, bringing his arms back down around himself.

“Well those vibes are gonna have to go away soon cause Caleb and I have a date Saturday,” Gavin told him, looking at the TV behind him, missing the way Michael’s face crumpled.

“Oh?” he managed finally.

“Yeah, he asked me at lunch before you so rudely dragged me away,” he scowled.

“Sorry,” Michael said again, rubbing the back of his neck.

“So yeah, we’re going to the movies,” he shrugged. Michael nodded and stepped forward.

“Gavin, I’m really sorry. Can we never get mad at each other again?” he laughed, knowing it was impossible. When Gavin shook his head with a smile on his face Michael opened his arms for him and let Gavin make the next movie, grinning widely when the Brit stepped into his arms and wrapped his own around the other boy’s neck.

They stayed like that, just pressed tightly together, enjoying the other’s warmth and comfort. Enjoying the silence until finally Gavin picked his head up from Michael’s shoulder and whispered, “What did you mean Saturday morning?”

“Hmm?” Michael hummed in question.

“You asked why I chose Ray. Why I didn’t choose you,” he whispered the air between them thick. Michael pulled back, hands still on the smaller boy’s hips.

“I just… I didn’t get why you asked Ray instead of me. I’m your best friend, right?” he grinned.

Gavin nodded, face going red. “If I had asked, would you have done it?” he asked softly.

“I-“

“Gavin sweetie we’re home- oh! Hi Mihcael,” Mrs. Free greeted, carrying a load of laundry into the house, Mr. Free right behind her.

“Hello ma’am,” he responded.

“Will you be joining us for dinner?” Mr. Free asked him, poking his head out from the kitchen doorway.

“No, but thank you. I just needed the bio notes Gavin took today,” he lied easily, walking quickly down the hall, calling out his goodbyes.

The rest of the evening was pretty relaxing for Gavin, he did all his homework and played some GTA V with Ray and Ryan who were both at the latter’s house. Then when he was planning on going to bed, he got a call from Caleb whom he talked to for a good two hours. His phone vibrated against his ear at about ten, but he didn’t get to checking it until well after eleven when Caleb finally said goodnight. He looked down to see a text from his best friend, one that said only one word and confused him greatly.

_Yes_

Gavin shook his head and set the phone down, shutting his eyes and trying to sleep. He figured he’d just ask the boy tomorrow, but by morning he had forgotten all about it.

~~~

“You know Ryan, I think we have some of the dumbest friends to have ever existed,” Ray said around a yawn.

“I completely agree,” Ryan laughed climbing into the bed next to him and shutting the light off.

Geoff had called them only a few minutes before midnight, telling them all about how he finally did it! Griffon loved him back obviously and he was still kicking himself for waiting for so long, but dammit he did it and that’s what counted.

They talked for almost an hour, Geoff on speaker phone, yawning every other sentence now. Ray’s eyes were dropping, before he’d shoot upright and try tuning back into the conversation. Ryan’s head was leaning on Ray’s shoulder the entire time, he’d even fallen asleep once around twelve-thirty, before Ray was elbowing him awake and responding to Geoff’s question. Giving him a look that clearly said _if I have to stay up through this, so do you._ The phone called ended pretty quickly after that when they realized that Geoff had stopped responding, soft snores creeping through the speaker.

Now it was nearing two in the morning and the two were going to bed, wary about the upcoming school day. Ray lay in bed next to the broad boy, staring up at the glow in the dark stars on the ceiling; something Ray had surprised the other with the week prior. They had been up almost the entire night talking about everything, and Ryan mentioned how much he loved space, how much the stars and galaxies fascinated him. The next day Ray had zipped to the store after school and taken the trolley to his best friend’s house, proudly presenting him with the package.

“They all love each other and then deny it until it comes and bites them in the asses,” Ryan said breaking Ray from his thoughts.

“Yeah,” he yawned turning to his friend, eyes bloodshot,

“I’ll buy us some coffee tomorrow morning,” Ryan told him, turning slightly on his side letting Ray crash down onto him as usual and wrapping both his arms around the small boys back.

“Sounds good,” Ray whispered, shutting his eyes. Not even five minutes later his breathing evened out, and Ryan noticed that he still had his glasses on. Carefully, he slipped them off of him and set them on the table next to his bed, kissing Ray gently on the forehead he sighed and sunk down further in his bed.

“Total idiots,” he said stealing one last look at Ray before shutting his eyes and following him into dreamland.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter was really only needed to set up some things for the future really. Sorry about Caleb, but he is important for now and later in the story I guess. Anyway I hope you enjoy and I hope to hear from some of you soon.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long, I'd go through long periods where I'd only wanna work on this but when I was finally in front of my computer I wanted to do anything but. I started planning out two new stories and getting all the minor details out, so when I'm done with this story and I get by with a little help from my friends I'll be able to start posting new stories quickly. I'm gonna be honest, I don't really like the ending of this chapter cause I feel I kinda rushed it, I might go back and fix it later but for now enjoy!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“So then I-“

“Wait wait, Geoff, let me guess, and then you told her you loved her,” Michael whispered intensely.

“Yeah man,” Geoff sighed happily. Ever since Geoff and Griffon had said ‘the big three words’ to each other, it had been impossible to get Geoff to talk about anything else. While they were all really happy to finally have it over with, they were also hitting the point of ‘plan Geoff’s disappearance’.

“Geoff, you’ve told that story about five times in the last hour,” Ray told him. “At first it was cute, now it’s giving me a headache,” he said, rubbing his temples.

“You wouldn’t know anything about love Ray. It changes a man,” Geoff winked.

“Apparently, but it only makes them more annoying,” Michael laughed, shoving Geoff off his couch.

“You guys suck,” he whined standing up and pretending to dust off his clothes. Once they each had a couple more jabs at him they fell into a comfortable silence, watching whatever was on TV and just being content in each other’s company.

“So,” Jack began, “what’s everyone doing tomorrow?” he asked.

“Ray and I are going back to mine and hanging out,” Ryan shrugged.

“I’m going home,” Geoff said then, “wanna come Jack?” he asked receiving a nod from the other boy.

“I’m just gonna hang out around here I think, cheer Gavin on for his date,” Michael said reaching out to pat the fumbling Brit on the back.

“Michael!” he squawked earning a confused look from the redhead.

“What?” he asked, not realizing his mistake.

“Date?”

“With who?”

“Wait, what?”

“Where?”

“Oh,” Michael whispered eyeing Gavin apologetically.

“I didn’t tell them,” the Brit muttered, looking at the floor.

“With who?” Geoff demanded.

“Caleb?” Ray asked, smirking.

“Yeah,” Gavin said shyly.

“But I thought… after you two… the kiss…” Geoff babbled, looking between them, confusion clear on his face.

“Kiss?” Ryan asked, sitting up.

“God dammit Geoff,” Ray glared.

“Christ,” Gavin sighed.

“Ray? Gavin?” Ryan asked looking between the two confused.

“Holy shit man,” Michael snorted taking in the looks on each of their faces.

“What’s going on?” Ryan asked, leaning as far forward as he could in his seat.

“You suck!” Gavin cried punching Geoff in the arm.

“Guys!” Ryan yelled, he looked both confused and hurt and to Ray it felt as if he had just kicked a small kitten.

“We kissed!” he snapped. “Gavin and I kissed and it meant nothing so can we all just…” Ray gestured to the air when he finished, looking unsure. He wouldn’t meet Ryan’s eyes though, only looking at Michael and Jack.

“Oh shit, Ryan, you and Michael gotta kiss now to make it even,” Jack laughed, trying to lighten the mood.

“I just might,” Michael said elbowing Ray in the side, causing him to look up at Ryan somewhat pleadingly.

“Don’t tempt me,” Ryan deadpanned, not looking away from the smaller boy. Everyone was frozen where they sat, not quite knowing what to do or say next. Thankfully it was Geoff that finally broke the silence.

“So yeah, Gavin, Caleb, date,” he said quickly.

“We’re going to the movies,” he added.

The mood shifted after that, each of them beginning to fall into their own things. Jack and Geoff playing an intense game of Uno, Ray and Gavin kicking each other’s asses at Halo, while Michael and Ryan sat back and watched.

Other than that Ray spent most of the night ignoring Geoff and his attempts to silently apologize. He kept trying to meet the boy’s eyes and let him know how bad he felt, but Ray refused to look until finally Geoff cornered him in the kitchen when they were getting ready for bed.

“Look man I’m really sorry, I thought, since Michael knew that maybe Ryan would too,” he explained reaching out to place his hand on the boys shoulder.

“It’s whatever,” he shrugged, but Geoff wasn’t having it.

“No, seriously man, I’m really sorry,” he squeezed Ray’s shoulder, smiling softly at him.

“It’s okay. Ryan doesn’t seem too mad right?” he asked nervously.

“He’ll be fine,” Geoff assured.

Ray smiled and nodded, making his way back into the living room where everyone else was unpacking their sleeping bags and pillows. Even with Geoff’s positive reinforcement he was still wary of how Ryan actually felt, so instead of diving onto the recliner with the blonde, he stood awkwardly in the center of the room looking over his other friends.

Geoff and Jack were setting up on the couch, sleeping bags out and pillows throw down, Michael and Gavin were already in their usual positions, curled around each other, heads buried in each other’s necks something they all took note of, but didn’t say anything about. Finally he looked to the recliner where Ryan was sat, pushed as far into the side as could be, watching Ray expectantly.

“You coming to bed or not?” he asked when the small boy made no move towards him.

“Yeah, yeah, sorry,” he shook his head and shuffled towards his best friend. He settled in next to him and stretched while the other pulled the blankets over them. Still Ray made no attempt to actually go to sleep, just sat in silence and waited for everyone else’s breathing to even out.

“What’s wrong?” Ryan’s voice snapped him out of it and he turned to face him.

“Nothing,” he shrugged.

“Did it mean something?” Ryan whispered, looking at him intensely.

“What?” he asked whipping his head towards him, glasses flying down the bridge of his nose.

“You said it meant nothing, and you’ve been acting weird ever since,” he pointed out, reaching up to take his glasses off, setting them down on the table next to them. “So did it mean something?” he asked again.

“No,” Ray shook his head violently. “It didn’t, I promise,” he said.

“It’s okay if it did,” Ryan told him.

“He’s one of my best friends, but I don’t like him as anything more,” he explained, getting a nod and then the subject was dropped.

He finally turned over and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders, burrowing down and waiting for the other boy to make the next move. He did so quickly, wrapping himself completely around Ray and bringing him back against his chest firmly.

~~~

“Dude, can you calm down for like five minutes,” Michael snapped the next morning. Gavin was frantically running around and packing his bags, clearly nervous about his date later, and while Michael was upset that he was going out with Caleb in the first place, he couldn’t help but find the boy’s worry to be somewhat endearing. However, since it was only nine in the morning and they were all still half asleep it was also very annoying.

“No Michael,” Gavin whined back, “I only have like,” he looked at the clock at the wall and his eyes nearly feel out of his head. “I only have three bloody hours!” he cried.

“You’ve been on dates before,” Jack pointed out.

“Not with a boy,” he hissed, pulling his shirt up over his head and searching for a new one.

“You and Michael are practically dating,” Geoff snickered.

“He has a point,” Ray grinned.

“No we aren’t!” he snapped, continuing to look through his bags for a new shirt.

“Jesus, come on,” Michael hissed, grabbing Gavin’s arm and dragging him towards the staircase.

“Michael,” he protested as he stumbled up behind him.

“I’ve got something you can wear,” he said continuing to pull him in the direction of his bedroom.

“I’ve got things too Michael,” the Brit snapped.

“Just shut up and come on,” the redhead said finally pushing his door open and shoving the small boy in. He ruffled through his closet for a few minutes, looking at multiple items of clothing and tossing some aside, tossing others at Gavin.

“I’m pretty sure I don’t need this many layers Michael,” he teased pushing them off his face and body.

“Well maybe you should have that many layers,” Michael started, “you don’t want Caleb getting any funny ideas,” he said pointing accusingly at his friend.

“What!” Gavin squeaked. “I’d never,” he placed a hand over his heart dramatically. “I’m not some common whore,” he glared, but he was smiling so Michael knew he wasn’t really mad.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, you gave yourself to Ray for free,” he joked, but Gavin was almost sure he heard a bitter tone to it.

“Shut up,” Gavin said throwing a shirt back at him. Michael pulled it away and looked at it before holding it out to Gavin and nodding.

“This is the one,” he smirked. Gavin slowly took it, holding it up to look and started blushing at the _‘Touch My Awesome Button’_ written across it.

“Oh, cause this isn’t suggestive at all.”

Michael shrugged at him and he put it on nonetheless, only then seeming to realize he was still shirtless. Michael seemed to notice then too, because he kept looking down at Gavin’s chest and his face was becoming an alarming shade of red very quickly.

“Are you guys fucking!” they heard Geoff call from the bottom of the staircase.

“No!” Gavin yelled at the same time Michael shouted ‘Yes!’ they heard multiple laughs, a few gags, and a cheer from Ray before they finally made their way downstairs.

“Oh he’s gonna touch your awesome button alright,” Geoff snickered when he saw him.

“I hope not,” Ray laughed, looking awkwardly at Michael who was smirking behind him.

“Well my mom is here so we’re gonna go,” Ryan announced, elbowing Ray in the side and moving towards the door.

“Bye guys,” Michael called out.

“Call me later Gav,” Ray told him and then they were gone.

“When are you two assholes gonna leave?” Michael then asked turning towards the two gents left.

“Mom will be here in like a half hour,” Geoff announced holding his phone up.

“Gav?” Michael asked.

“I’m not leaving until eleven,” he told him. Michael nodded and the remaining four made their way to the living room setting up the Xbox and starting up COD.

After a couple rounds, Geoff and Gavin were in an epic battle against each other, score tied for almost the entire round as they hunted each other down. Jack and Michael sat back and watched their friends, push and shove at each other trying for any distraction. Soon though, Michael’s thoughts drifted to Gavin and Caleb. _What are they gonna do during the date? What are they gonna do after the date? Are they gonna hold hands? Are they gonna kiss?_ He suddenly found himself angry at the thought, _I don’t want them too,_ was one of the only things he could form at that moment, but before he could dwell any longer, Geoff’s mom was there and they were saying goodbye, Gavin coming to sit next to him on the couch knees bouncing nervously.

Michael started another round, but out of the corner of his eye all he could see was Gavin’s knee, bouncing, bouncing, bouncing.

“Stop,” he snapped throwing his arm out and stilling the boy’s restless legs.

“Sorry Michael,” he mumbled, trying to stop the shaking. Michael gave him a challenging look and pushed down harder, catching Gavin’s smirk before he started stomping his feet, fast.

“Gavin,” Michael warned.

“Yes?” he said innocently and just like that the video games were forgotten and Michael’s previous annoyance and worries were gone.

“Don’t be such a shit,” the redhead grinned, successfully pinning the other boys legs down.

“I’m not,” Gavin replied poking him in the side. Michael rolled his eyes and tackled him onto the couch; however Gavin decided to fight back which ended with both of them on the floor, Michael on his back staring up at a smirking Gavin.

“You are,” he hissed, throwing his leg out from under them both, flipping Gavin down.

“Not fair Michael,” he cried. Michael didn’t respond though, just took in the sight of his best friend, hair disheveled, shirt a size to big hanging off his shoulder, lips shiny and pink, eyes wide and so _so_ green.

“What’s wrong?” Gavin asked, noticing the odd look on his friends face.

“Don’t-“ Michael started, but a soft knocking on the door broke both of them away from each other, Michael quickly rolled off of him, watching as Gavin slowly stood, gathering his things and turning to look at him.

“Don’t what?” he tilted his head and waited.

“Nothing,” Michael shook his head, “have fun,” he told him waving him away.

The other boy shrugged and then he was turning and walking out the door, greeting his mother and telling Michael he’d call later.

Michael sat on the same spot and watched until the door was closed, only one thought running through his head.

_Don’t go._

~~~

“Should we have the murderer be revealed at the end in an epic sort of way? Or, should we have someone figure it out half way and then they get killed too?” Ray asked, tapping his pencil against his mouth.

Ryan was too focused on the pencil than what the boy was saying if he was being honest, watching as it bounced off his bottom lip and back again repeatedly. They were supposed to be working on their next English story, this time Ryan had picked mystery and Ray was more than happy to work on it. However, since they had arrived at Ryan’s house there was an awkward atmosphere surrounding them both, and there seemed to be a lot of tension emitting from Ryan, but not the awkward kind.

“-yan?” Ray was waving his face repeatedly in front of his face and waiting for him to snap out of whatever thoughts he was lost in.

“Sorry?” he asked coming back to and noticing the pencil was now placed behind Ray’s ear, a safe distance from his mouth.

“Did you hear anything I just said?” he asked, leaning closer.

“Not one word,” he said laughing nervously.

He repeated the question, this time watching his friend intently and noticing the way his friends eyes watched his mouth, distracted. He smirked to himself and took his pencil from behind his ear, beginning to tap again.

“What do you wanna do?” Ryan asked slowly, eyes watching the way the pencil beat against the boys pink pink lips.

“I don’t know, that’s why I’m asking you,” he said coyly.

“I think…” he trailed off, tearing his eyes away finally and looking at the ceiling. “We should have two murders, to make it more interesting, but maybe when the killer is found out by the second victim, we still don’t announce who, until the very end when the killer is killed,” he thought.

“That’s actually a really good idea,” Ray grinned.

“I’ll write it down,” Ryan said quickly, snatching the pencil from Ray’s grip and scribbling it down in the notes. When Ray reached for the pencil after, Ryan just shook his head and pulled it back. “You did most of the work today, let me finish up,” he played off, face going red. Ray just nodded at him, but the smirk on his face told Ryan he knew exactly what was happening.

“Fine by me,” he shrugged.

They worked quietly afterwards, Ray thinking and Ryan writing down little bullet points. Still though, every time Ryan looked up at Ray he was met with the other boy leaning back, completely relaxed, teeth running across his bottom lip, and _god dammit,_ Ryan thought, _he’s trying to kill me._ He never said anything though, but Ray never stopped either, eventually Ryan just gave up and threw the paper and pencil away from him, lying down on the bed.

“Done?” Ray asked then, leaning up on his elbows.

“I think that’s enough for today,” the other sighed.

“Fair enough,” Ray agreed, setting his bag on the floor and pushing everything non-bed related away from them.

“What time is it?” Ryan asked.

“It’s like three,” the smaller boy yawned, curling up on the bed and pulling the covers over him.

“Are you going to bed?” the other asked smirking.

“I’m tired,” Ray whined.

“I’ll leave you to it then,” Ryan chuckled, going to move off the bed and towards his computer, but a small hand wrapping around his wrist stopped him. “Yes?” he asked, looking down at his sleepy, glaring friend.

“Lay with me,” he demanded, throwing the covers back and making room.

“I’m not tired,” Ryan told him softly.

“Oh, looks like I don’t care,” Ray snarked, pulling him back down.

“Fine,” Ryan sighed dramatically, throwing himself down onto Ray, covering his whole body.

“Ryan!” Ray whined, followed by a laugh. “Get off!” he commanded.

“I’m lying with you, like you wanted,” he pointed out.

“You know what I meant,” Ray cried, pushing against his friends shoulders.

“No I don’t,” Ryan said, snaking his hands under Ray and beginning to tickle him.

“No!” Ray exclaimed, kicking against him.

Ryan’s fingers danced along the other boy’s skin, tickling him mercilessly. He grinned down at the boy, both their faces red and laughter echoing throughout the room. His hands found their way under Ray’s shirt without his notice and then Ray’s breath was hitching and his eyes were widening. Ryan seemed to realize then what had happened, when he realized that the soft, warm fabric he was touching wasn’t actually fabric. He pulled away as if burned and moved himself completely away from the other boy’s body.

They both lay next to each other, trying to catch their breath as the silence stretched between them. Both their faces were bright red, chests moving rhythmically up and down.

“I hate you,” Ray sighed finally, but when Ryan turned towards him, he was smiling up at the ceiling.

“No you don’t,” Ryan told him, knocking his elbow against Ray’s.

“I know,” he said.

They were silent again, but it wasn’t as awkward or full of tension. This time it was just… quiet. They just relaxed next to each other, thinking and enjoying the heat the other gave off.

Ryan had been so tempted to kiss him earlier, and then again when he heard the way his breathing stuttered, saw how flushed his face was. He was so fucking tempted to just lean down and kiss him senseless, steal the air from his lungs. He couldn’t bring himself to do it though; too afraid of what would happen if Ray pushed him off, ran away, or hell, what if he kissed back? Ryan felt his face heat at the thought, what if he did? Would is stop there or? He stopped himself from thinking any more, it would be really freaking awkward if he got hard while lying next to the very boy he was thinking about.

“Ray?” he asked after a minute, it was still really early and just lying in bed doing nothing was extremely boring to him, but when he got no response he turned to see Ray curled around himself, blanket clutched tightly in his hands, eyes shut and breath even. Ryan smiled and slowly reached forward, pulling Ray’s glasses from his face, something he was doing a lot these days, and set them on the table next to him. He turned the light off and started to stand, about to make his way to his computer finally, but after he was already up and stretching he looked back down at the comfy bed and rolled his eyes before crashing back into it and burrowing under the covers.

~~~

To say the date had gone well would be an understatement. It was fantastic, Caleb had been the perfect gentlemen and Gavin had had a fantastic time. The movie was really boring, but with a cute boy next to him holding his hand, Gavin couldn’t really complain.

After the movie they had gone for ice cream and just talked. They talked about their lives before moving to Texas and their friends, classes, families, anything that came to mind. Gavin was actually really shocked, he hadn’t really found anyone that he could talk to openly with and comfortably with since Michael and he had to admit it was really nice to have someone else to talk to.

Still though, as soon as his mom had picked him up he had asked her to take him home and then to Michael’s house so he could change and give his shirt back, but if he also wanted to talk about every detail with Michael and swoon that didn’t need to be said. So she did, and when he got there he practically skipped to the door knocking violently since both his parents cars were gone, but he knew Michael would still be home.

What he didn’t know was that Michael had company.

A giggling blond opened the door, eyes bright and blue and definitely not Michael.

“Oh, hi,” she said clearing her throat and looking at him smugly.

“Hi?” Gavin greeted slowly. “Is Michael home?” he asked. A hand came into view then, gripping the side of the door and pulling it back to reveal a red faced Michael, grin faltering slightly at the sight of his best friend.

“Hey Gav, what are you doing here?” he asked cautiously, looking pointedly at Kara.

“I was just… I wanted to get your shirt back to you and tell you about…” he stopped then, looking at Kara and Michael, and then he noticed her sparkly pink lip gloss, somewhat smudged in the corners of her mouth, he really didn’t want to do it, but he looked at Michael then, looked closer and noticed that the same pink sparkly lip gloss on his lips. “Never mind, I’ll tell you later, here,” he said bitterly, thrusting the folded shirt in his hands at the redhead.

“Kara, could you give us a sec?” Michael asked her. She nodded, seeming all too eager to please him. “What’s up?” he asked as soon as she was in the kitchen.

“Nothing, I’ll call you later,” the brunette shook his head, “here,” he said again practically throwing the shirt at Michael.

“Keep it, it looks better on you anyway,” Michael shrugged.

“Ok, talk later,” Gavin said quickly, turning and beginning to walk down the pathway.

“Hey, wait,” Michael said immediately, reaching out and catching him by the shoulder. “Gav, what’s wrong? Did he do something?” he asked stepping closer voice low, invading Gavin’s space. His hand dropped from Gavin’s shoulder down to his wrist where he gave a gentle squeeze.

“No,” Gavin said quickly. “I’ll just call you later okay? Nothing bad, I promise,” he told him, smile tight.

“Are you sure?” Michael asked, eyes concerned.

“Yeah,” Gavin forced out. “See ya,” he stepped away and slid his arm away from Michael’s.

“Yeah… see ya,” Michael said suspiciously.

Gavin turned around quickly and walked down the rest of the pathway taking a sharp right instead of left towards his house, not looking back once. Michael watched him go the entire way and sighed as soon as he turned the corner and was out of sight. He felt sort of bad now for inviting Kara over without telling Gavin about it, but he didn’t think Gavin would come over and find out in such an awkward way. Still though it’s not like he was obligated to tell Gavin who he was hooking up with, it’s not like he had planned this earlier, in fact he had only called her in the first place like twenty minutes after Gavin left.

“You coming back?” a sweet voice asked behind him, he turned to see Kara leaning on the doorframe, smiling coyly at him. He pushed all thoughts of Gavin aside and smirked back at her.

“Yeah,” he answered walking back towards her and smiling down at her when she didn’t move to let him in. “You gonna let me in?” he raised an eyebrow at her and smiled when she giggled.

“You gonna make me?” she purred. He rolled his eyes, but he was smiling when he picked her up and carried her inside, kicking the door shut behind him.

He carried her to the couch and carefully dropped her down, chuckling when she tugged on his shirt and pulled him over her, reattaching her lips to his, continuing where they were before. He decided he’d call Gavin later and explain himself, but for now, he’d enjoy the cute girl, soft and laughing under him.

~~~

Ray and Ryan had only been sleeping for about an hour before Ray’s phone began vibrating wildly on the wooden table, taking both of them up and causing them to pull apart unwillingly, searching for the cause of their rude awakening.

Finally Ryan got his hands on the phone and passed it to Ray, wincing at the brightness. “’lo?” Ray said, not even checking the caller ID.

“What’s wrong?” Ray asked then, seeming to wake up instantly, bolting up in bed. “Yeah, I’m still at Ryan’s,” he said then looking at the other boy.

 _What’s going on?_ Ryan mouthed and watched as Ray read his words and shrugged.

_I don’t know._

“Gavin, slow down,” Ray said then and Ryan nodded, of course Gavin would be calling them after their date, but why would something be wrong? _Did Caleb try something? Did he hurt him?_ Ryan was already half way through plotting the boys demise and figuring out how to hide the body when Ray was hanging up and sighing.

“He’ll be here soon, something happened with Michael,” he said rolling his eyes.

“Michael? Wasn’t he supposed to be on a date?” Ryan asked. Ray shrugged and rolled his eyes again.

“I don’t fucking know, Michael was with a girl or some shit,” Ray told him and he felt bad, he really did, but the look on Ray’s face, sleepy and confused, but also really freaking annoyed was too funny, so he laughed.

“Of course Gavin would go on a date with someone and have a great time, and then be pissed that Michael was with someone else too,” he said to Ray’s confused look. And now they were both laughing, Ryan, deep and long, Ray, like chimes.

“They’re idiots,” the smaller boy said, reaching across Ryan for his glasses. “Also,” he began, looking at Ryan, “never let me nap with jeans on again,” he told him.

“Noted,” Ryan nodded, getting off the bed and stretching his tired limbs. “Are you staying tonight?” he asked then.

“If you want me too, I just can’t stay tomorrow since I don’t have my school stuff,” he shrugged.

“So we can go get it tomorrow morning and come back here,” Ryan pointed out.

“Sounds good to me, you sure you’re not getting sick of me yet?” Ray asked after.

“Oh, I got sick of you a long time ago, I just keep you around for the cuddles,” the blond teased.

“Rude,” Ray said reaching out to slap the boys shoulder, “but I am an amazing cuddler,” he said after.

“Ryan, Gavin’s here!” Ryan’s mom called from downstairs. Ryan smirked at Ray and opened the door bounding down the steps and greeting the distressed Brit.

“Come on up,” he said wrapping his arm around him and pulling him upstairs. “Thanks mom,” he said after, throwing her a smile and disappearing up the steps.

“Alright, what’s the problem?” Ryan asked him when they walked in. Gavin flopped himself down on Ryan’s computer chair across from the two on the bed and sighed.

“I went to return Michael’s shirt and he… he had company,” Gavin hissed.

“Who?” Ray asked.

“Kara,” Gavin spat.

“Woah, calm down, don’t they have like math together or something? Maybe they’re studying,” Ryan offered.

“I didn’t know studying involved sucking face and sharing lip gloss,” Gavin said.

“What?” Ray said confused.

“Nothing,” Gavin shook his head, “they were making out before I got there that’s obvious, but he didn’t even tell me about it,” he said.

“Gavin,” Ryan said slowly, making sure he had the boy’s full attention. “You were on a date with someone else, Michael is allowed to see people too,” he told him.

“I know that!” Gavin snapped, “I just mean… he didn’t talk to me or even mention her to me before,” he said, and Ray could swear that Gavin actually sounded hurt. Like he felt somehow betrayed that his best friend wouldn’t inform him of his current hook up.

“Gavin, I doubt this’ll even become a thing,” Ray told him. “It’s probably a onetime thing and that’s it,”

“Yeah,” Ryan agreed, smiling softly at the Brit.

“I hope it is,” Gavin grumbled.

“But Gavin,” Ryan started, “if it does become ‘a thing’ as Ray put it,” he said using air quotes, “you gotta be supportive and nice to her,” he told him.

“Why?” Gavin seethed.

“Because Michael is your best friend and you are also now in ‘a thing’ with someone else,” Ryan told him, “it’s not fair to play anyone, so either you’re with Caleb and don’t care what Michael does, _or_ you’re not with Caleb at all and you can care about what Michael does all you want,” he warned.

“You guys are rubbish,” he pouted.

“Actually, the fact that you’re so upset over this is what’s rubbish,” Ray told him.

“Who’s side are you on?” he asked incredulously.

“Yours, always yours,” Ray said leaning forward and putting his hand on Gavin’s arm.

“You have a bloody interesting way of showing it,” he said pulling his arm away.

“Okay, Gavin, we love you, you know that,” Ryan started then, “but this whole situation is stupid, it’s like something out of one of those shitty romance novels Ray and I had to read. You can’t have your cake and eat it too,” he told him.

“So, you guys are saying that because I’m dating someone now, I’m not allowed to be upset that my best friend is keeping things from me?”

“Jesus Gav. It’s just a hook up with a girl, you dated Meg last year and Michael was one hundred percent supportive, but now he shows interest in someone and the world crumbles,” Ray rolled his eyes.

“Gavin, I know you’ve got some deep feelings for Michael or something,” Ryan started, reaching out and covering Gavin’s small hand with his, giving a gentle squeeze before continuing, “but he’s not yours,” he finished softly. Gavin pulled his hand away as if stung, stood up and gathered his shirt and phone from where he had set them on Ray’s desk.

“I should get going,” he blurted, making his way to the door.

“Gavin, no wait,” Ray stood up trying to get to him, but Ryan’s hand on his chest stopped him.

“Gavin-“ Ryan started, but Gavin was quick to shake his head.

“I’m not mad,” he assured them both, “I just need to think,” he told them, forcing a grin and walking out.

“The fuck just happened?” Ryan asked once he was gone.

“Why would you say that to him?” Ray asked, a slightly pissed off tone under it.

“It’s the truth?” Ryan offered.

“He’s sensitive,” Ray hissed then.

“We can’t coddle him forever Ray, he can’t play Caleb and Michael is well, straight,” Ryan told him. Ray sighed, but didn’t make any other comment, just lay back in bed and shut the light off.

“Ray-“ Ryan started, but the other boy just waved him off.

“You’re right okay, I just don’t like when he’s upset, get back in bed okay?” he asked then, turning to look at him nervously. Ryan nodded and started to crawl in before stopping and walking to his dresser.

“Here, don’t sleep in jeans again,” he said tossing some shorts to Ray and leaving the room.

Ray waited until the door was completely closed to change, and then he decided to text Gavin.

_I’m sorry Gav that was harsh. One girl he’s known for a couple months hasn’t got anything on you._

He didn’t even have to wait two minutes for a response, and he smiled when he read it.

_Thanks Ray, sorry for being a drama queen. You’re right by the way, she’s nothing._

He was still smiling when Ryan finally came back in, changed into a t-shirt and shorts, holding two bottles of water and holding an extra blanket.

“What’s funny?” he asked when he looked at the smaller boy in his bed.

“Nothing,” he shook his head, taking one water bottle and rolling over to his side.

Ryan shrugged and snuggled in behind him, shutting the light off once and for all and closing his eyes, knowing that Ray would most likely wake up at two am and wake him up because he couldn’t go back to sleep and was bored, but if you asked if he cared, he’d say no, and he’d mean it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yay? No? Okay. Kara and Michael, yeah. Don't worry, it's not gonna last too too long but it will be a few chapters. If you liked it let me know! All feedback is greatly appreciated. See you soon!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took so long, a new term just started at school and I've been trying to adjust to my new classes and pay attention, plus my work is going through some renovations so the last few weeks have been a lot of cleaning and preparation and it's been crazy. I hope you guys enjoy this one, it's mainly a filler and the next chapter is gonna be a big one and I'm so pumped to write it.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“Boi’s night at mine?” Michael asked, and God, Griffon wanted to cry at the hopeful look on his face.

“Sorry Michael, I have a lot of homework tonight, maybe some other time?” Gavin told him, grabbing his tray off the table and bringing it over to the trashcans pretending not to notice the crestfallen look on his best friends face.

That was how the last two weeks were spent. Michael continually asking Gavin to hang out and Gavin making countless excuses as to why he couldn’t. His most common excuse was that he had homework, but in reality he was with Ray or Caleb most nights.

The first few days of their new relationships had been rough on each of them; Michael just pretended not to care, seeming standoffish and aloof. Gavin was hurt by Michael and Kara, but he simply pretended he didn’t notice them, which of course only made Michael try harder. You’d think such a new relationship would be full of insecurities and slow steps, but Michael and Kara sure showed everyone differently. They made out at lunch regularly and anytime they were seen together they would most likely be hanging all over each other. Gavin and Caleb however, were much more reserved. Occasionally they’d hold hands, but under the table and sometimes they’d peck each other’s cheeks or rub noses.

When the bell rang, Gavin gave Caleb a peck and told him he’d see him in bio before turning to Ray and making sure no one else was listening.

“Wanna come to mine tonight?” he asked.

“What happened to homework?” he asked, eyebrows raised.

“Please?” Gavin begged.

“Okay,” Ray sighed, “I’ll meet you by your locker after class,” he said turning in the direction of the staircase and leaving Gavin on his own.

Gavin knew he’d have to do something with Michael eventually, but for now he figured avoiding was the best choice. He was a hypocrite he knew, he loved having a boyfriend and being with Caleb, but it hurt him that Michael had someone too. Every time he saw the two of them making out in the hallways it made him sick, so sick that he had to turn in the other direction and take off.

He felt bad, he really did. Caleb was so amazing to him, treated him so well and always put him first, and yet here Gavin was, still worrying about every little thing Michael did. Wanting to spend all his time with Michael, talk to Michael, be with Michael, and all the while he had this amazing boy right in front of him ready to take him on wild adventures all the time.

Biology was just that much harder, because while he was dating Caleb he wasn’t allowed to switch partners which meant he still had to sit with Michael when they did experiments and work with him all while trying to ignore him. Everyday Michael had some amazing story about Kara to share, what they did last night, what they’re doing tomorrow night, what they might do tonight since Gavin couldn’t hang out. It was really frustrating to have to pretend to be interested all while wanting to punch the other boy across the face every second.

Finally the bell rang and he ran to Ray’s locker and they started walking towards Gavin’s bus together, Gavin frantically looking around to make sure Michael was nowhere in sight. Ray rolled his eyes when they sat down and put his ear buds in to drown out the sound of Gavin freaking out next to him, he did this every time Ray came over when he was lying about it. He sat shaking in his seat and mumbling to himself or God or something, Ray wasn’t really sure. But it did make him wonder why Gavin would continue lying if it freaked him out this much.

When they got to his house they got off the bus quickly and headed straight into Gavin’s house and into his bedroom where they threw their bags on the ground and flopped onto the bed.

“Alright Gav, when the fuck are you gonna stop being a baby?” Ray asked, turning onto his back and looking at the ceiling, ignoring the shocked look Gavin gave him.

“That’s not fair,” he said quietly.

“What’s not fair is you ignoring your best friend because he has a girlfriend and you have a boyfriend,” he pointed out.

“You don’t get it,” Gavin shook his head, “every time I look at Michael all I see his him and Kara sucking face and I can’t do it,” he whined.

“How do you think Michael feels when he sees you with Caleb?” Ray asked him then, sitting up and looking down at the Brit.

“Fine, probably,” Gavin shrugged.

“It hurts him too,” Ray told him, “to see you being so close with someone else and ignoring him. He hurts too you know.”

“Not for the same reasons,” Gavin grumbled.

“No,” Ray started, “but it does still fucking suck. So you need to grow up and hang out with your ‘boi’ again, Kara doesn’t need to be there, and she most likely won’t, Michael wouldn’t want Caleb there so he won’t do that to you either,” Ray scolded.

“You’re probably right,” Gavin sighed, Ray nodded and lay back down.

“Damn right,” he muttered. Gavin shook his head and turned on his TV.

“So,” Gavin started, a wicked grin on his face.

“Nope,” Ray shook his head immediately.

“Come on!” Gavin whined, crawling forward and putting his face directly in front of Ray’s. “How are things with Ryan? Tell me,” he pouted.

“Get away,” Ray swatted at him and cried out when Gavin threw his entire body onto him.

“Tell me!” he yelled laughing.

“Gavin,” Ray warned.

“Ray,” Gavin sang, hands snaking under Ray’s shirt and dancing along his sides. “Tell me!” he yelled again when Ray started kicking under him, pushing against him and thrashing about.

“Gavin, stop, don’t!” he screamed, but he was laughing too hard so Gavin chose not to take him seriously.

“All you gotta do is tell me,” Gavin grinned down at him, fingers pausing to let Ray catch his breath quickly.

“Fuck off,” Ray said, freeing his arms from under them and flipping Gavin over, landing on top of him and knocking the air out of him. “Bitch,” he muttered after.

“Not fair,” Gavin hissed when Ray’s hands clasped around his wrists and pinned him fully down.

“Things with Ryan are fine. We’re best friends, that’s it,” he told him, hands loosening around his wrists.

“Why?” Gavin asked quietly.

“What do you mean ‘why’? We just are,” Ray shrugged.

“You guys are stupid,” Gavin told him, pulling his arms away from Ray and folding them across his chest.

“What!” Ray cried. “You’re calling Ryan and me stupid? Have you looked at you and Michael?" he asked.

“Sod off,” Gavin told him, bucking his hips up, trying to throw his friend off, but Ray was quick to regain his balance, throwing his hands out letting them land next to Gavin’s head, body hunched over. Before either of them could make another move, Gavin’s bedroom door was opening and Michael was walking in, the slightly annoyed look on his face quickly disappeared and turned into a scowl when he saw the two of them laid out like that.

“What the fuck,” he whispered, glaring at both of them before meeting Gavin’s fearful eyes, his gaze hardening. “Homework huh?” he asked, rolling his eyes and turning to leave.

“Michael wait, I can explain!” Gavin cried, Ray quickly rolled off of him and watched as Gavin ran towards his best friend.

“Don’t,” Michael spat, meeting Ray’s eyes and glaring hard. He turned and continued walking out, Gavin didn’t go after him this time, something Ray was actually surprised by.

“So we’re fucked right?” Ray asked, breaking the silence surrounding them.

“We are absolutely fucked, Ray,” Gavin sighed, hitting his head against his door.

“You can sort everything out tomorrow right?” Ray asked then, getting off the bed and stepping up behind Gavin.

“God I hope so,” Gavin told him then.

“It’ll be okay,” Ray assured, rubbing his friends back while he repeatedly bashed his head against the door.

~~~

To say the next day was awkward for the lads would be an understatement. Michael couldn’t look at either of them without glaring or imagining punching Ray in the face. Ray was only avoiding looking at Michael because he knew what Michael had thought, knew he was wrong, but still felt guilty being so close to Gavin when he was taken by Caleb. Gavin just couldn’t look at anyone, he couldn’t look at Michael without feeling an extreme hurt that the other boy wouldn’t let him explain. Couldn’t look at Caleb without feeling a wave of guilt, even though nothing happened. He couldn’t even look at Ryan because he felt as if he had somehow interfered with their relationship, even though it was nonexistent. The others had definitely noticed, but decided not to intervene, letting the lads work their own shit out.

However by the time lunch was over and the boys had barely done, well, anything, the gents knew something was wrong. When Gavin kissed Caleb goodbye he was hesitant,  watching Michael more than Caleb. Michael merely glared at him, kissing Kara and stalking off, but before he was out of the room he was throwing one last look towards where Ray sat, when Ray met his eyes he quickly adverted his gaze back to the table. Ryan  took action, grabbing Ray by the elbow and dragging him into the bathroom between lunch and English.

“What’s going on?” was the first thing he asked once the door closed behind them.

“Nothing,” Ray shrugged.

“Don’t lie Ray,” Ryan scolded, squeezing his arm gently. “Something’s going on between you, Michael and Gavin and I wanna help,” he told him gently.

“Gavin’s been lying to Michael about hanging out,” Ray started, “he tells him he has homework and then hangs out with me. Yesterday it was the same, except Michael showed up and caught Gavin and I in an… odd position,” he said.

“Odd position?” Ryan asked. "Actually I don't wanna know," he said after.

"Probably for the best," Ray told him. "Michael just assumed the worst and now he's pissed at both of us and neither of us have had time to tell him that it's not like that," he explained.

“Is Gavin gonna talk to him?” he asked.

“I hope so," Ray sighed.

“Think they’ll be okay?” Ryan asked.

“I’m sure they will, they always are,” Ray shrugged as the last bell rang. “We’re late,” he said then. Ryan nodded and opened the bathroom door, pulling him out and heading for the stair case. Before they entered their class though Ryan grabbed his hand again, pulling him back towards him.

"You okay though?" he asked, making sure to meet Ray's eyes.

"I'm good," he told him, adjusting his glasses and turning back to the class room, Ryan held in a sigh and followed him in, apologizing to the teacher for interrupting and finding his seat. 

Meanwhile, after the lunch bell had rang Gavin followed Michael out of the cafeteria and stopped him in the hallway by their lockers.

“Can we talk?” he begged as the redhead snapped his locker open and started shoving books into it.

“About what?” Michael snapped.

“Please don’t be like that. I’m sorry I lied-“

“You think that’s why I’m upset?” he slammed his locker shut, “I don’t care that you lied, well, I kinda do, but I’m more upset that you’d cheat on Caleb. I mean really Gav?” Michael ranted and Gavin had to take a step back, the hallways were clearing rapidly as students ran to their classes, quickly leaving Michael and Gavin as the only ones there.

“You think Ray and I were… You- Michael what the fuck?” Gavin snapped. “I’d never cheat on anyone, we were talking about Ryan and you know how we all get with each other, we get rough and wrestly, you and I do that all the time, we do that with Geoff and Jack and Ryan _and_ Ray, that’s nothing. You honestly think I could cheat on someone?” he asked hurt.

“Well I didn't, but I know what I saw Gavin!” Michael argued.

“No you clearly don’t!” Gavin yelled. “You’re a bloody idiot. I really like Caleb, but Ray is my friend, I’m allowed to goof around with him,”

“Oh you were goofing around alright,” Michael mumbled and he was actually shocked when Gavin pushed him back against the lockers.

“You’re such an asshole,” he declared, eyes shiny and wet. _Shit,_ Michael thought, _I fucked up._

“Gavin,” he whispered, reaching out to the Brit and freezing when he flinched back.

“Is that what you think of me?” Gavin hissed at him.

“No, Gavin, I was just upset. I don’t think that at all,” he rambled, stepping forward.

“Yes you do!” Gavin seethed. “You’re just back pedaling now because you look like an ass, which you are!” he yelled.

“Gav come on I fucked up, I’m sorry,” he calmed, taking another step forward and frowning harder when Gavin stepped away again.

The final bell rang then, each of them jumping at the sudden sound. “Whatever, we’re late,” Gavin said monotonously, turning and beginning to walk towards the hall his class was in. He didn’t get two steps before Michael was on him, grabbing his arm and turning him to face him.

“Listen,” Michael pleaded, but Gavin quickly wretched him arm away, glaring down at his friend.

“Why don’t you just fuck off,” he growled and Michael almost stepped back, almost let him walk away, but he knew that they’d both regret this within minutes if it wasn’t sorted right now.

When Gavin turned to walk away again Michael did the first thing he thought of, he grabbed him again and hugged him.

“I’m sorry,” he said quickly, flinching when Gavin punched at his chest, trying to push him off, but he only held him tighter. “I’m an asshole, I’m sorry,” he repeated three more times before finally letting Gavin pull back for air.

“You’re the worst,” Gavin said, but there was no heat behind it this time.

“I know you’d never do that. I was just hurt and I chose the only option I saw clearly,” he explained.

“You’re still a dick,” Gavin stated.

“I know. I just miss you Gavin,” he whispered.

“I miss you too, but I don’t assume that you’re cheating with everyone you hang out with,” Gavin said punching him in the shoulder.

“After you kissed him, I don’t know. I just have this fear…” Michael trailed off.

“What fear?" Gavin cried, "Ray and Ryan are in love with each other you git, no way I’d try to ruin it,” he rolled his eyes.

“I know I know,” Michael soothed. “I’m sorry, can we please be okay? Can we please go back to normal?” he asked and sighed in relief when Gavin pulled him into his chest and hugged him tightly.

“Why have you been lying to me?” Michael asked then, noticing the way Gavin tensed in his arms.

“I didn’t want to interfere with yours and Kara’s alone time,” Gavin lied easily.

“Boi, you know that when I ask to hang out it would just be us, I don’t want you to third wheel,” Michael tutted, buying it completely.

“I just didn’t want to bother you,” he whispered.

“You could never,” Michael told him, squeezing him tightly.

“You promise?” Gavin asked looking up at him hopefully.

“Always,” the redhead told him without hesitation. Michael smiled and asked Gavin to come over again that afternoon, and his grin grew when Gavin instantly agreed. 

He was really glad because he really needed his best friend now, things with Kara weren't exactly the greatest, and that's why he had been at Gavin's house in the first place. He smiled to himself as he walked into his class late, ignoring the glare his teacher gave him, telling him to find his seat and take out his notes.

~~~

“1914?” Geoff asked looking up from his notebook at his grinning girlfriend.

“Correct again,” she smiled. They had only been at his house for a half hour and Griffon refused to let him play video games or kiss her until he had done his homework, however that was not his main priority.

“Study break,” Geoff announced throwing his papers to the floor.

“You’ve done three problems,” Griffon said raising an eyebrow.

“Exactly, time for a break,” he smirked, leaning across the bed and kissing her, hands moving to her hips and squeezing gently. She giggled against his mouth but let herself be pushed down anyway. One little break wouldn’t kill them.

“Five minutes,” she said once her back hit the mattress.

“You’re no fun,” he whispered, trailing a line of kisses down her neck.

“Homework isn’t supposed to be fun,” she told him, breath hitching when his hands made their way under her shirt, resting gently on her smooth stomach, running lightly across her skin.

“Then I’m never doing homework again,” he smiled. Griffon just rolled her eyes and let him continue.

Soon their five minutes was up, but Griffon decided not to tell him. She was getting way too used to the way his cool hands traced patterns on her sides, too used to the way his lips ran along her skin, and it terrified her in some way, worried her that maybe they were getting in too deep. Eventually he pulled back from her looking down, completely calm expression on his face, questioning look in his eyes, she registered the way his hands were fisted in the bottom of her shirt, she looked at him and nodded twice. Quickly her shirt was hitting the floor and his hands were reaching out to hold hers as his mouth met hers again, harder, more passionate.

Within seconds she became self conscious and quickly took her hands from her boyfriend’s and started to close herself off, covering her body. Immediately his hands were reaching out and grabbing her wrists, pulling her hands away from her chest and squeezing gently.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, bringing her hands up to his lips and pressing slow kisses on each wrist, making his way up her right arm and then back down, moving to her left and across her shoulder to where her neck met, kissing lightly before looking back at her, “Griffon, you are so god damn perfect,” he told her. Maybe it was because he was completely sincere when he said it, or maybe it was the fact that even though he had had her shirt off for almost two minutes now he hadn’t stared once, whatever it was though, it calmed her down immensely.

“I love you,” she murmured then.

“I love you too,” he smiled, leaning in to kiss her cheek, smiling against her skin before his hands moved to her chest.

He didn’t get far though, because soon Griffon was growing tired of all the attention on her. She reached out and grabbed the bottom of his shirt, looking at him for permission. When she got it she pulled his shirt up and over and in seconds it was flying across the room in the direction hers did. He leaned down and pressed himself against her, waiting for her to give him the okay before touching her again. She took several deep breaths, this was a huge step for them, but she was reassured by him being equally as bare, so finally she nodded her head and let him kiss along her neck, down onto her shoulders and across her chest. His hands were equally as gentle as they ran across her chest, tracing patterns against her heated skin.

After spending twenty minutes admiring her every curve and edge, Geoff finally let her take charge, placing his hands on her hips and rolling them over slowly, letting her come to an easy rest on top of his hips. She moved cautiously, running her finger tips along his exposed skin, taking in the feeling as well as the sight. She took in his flushed face and red neck and noticed that he was just as nervous and insecure as she was. She ran her hands along his arms and stomach a few more times, enjoying the way he shivered or tensed when she ran her hands over his sensitive skin. Finally she stopped her movements, resting her right hand over his chest and pressing lightly against where she could feel his pounding heart.

“Are you sure this is all okay?” he asked when he noticed how hesitant her movements were. He reached out and laced his right hand with her left, looking at her calmly, openly, letting her know it was okay to stop whenever she needed.

“Yeah, I just want to remember this,” she smiled softly at him, leaning down and placing a kiss over his heart before pressing her mouth back to his.

She spent the next few minutes studying him, all his bumps and scars, loving the way he’d moan when she sucked on his neck or pressed her thumbs down lightly on his collar bones. Griffon could feel his ‘friend’ hitting her thigh soon and debated continuing or not, wondering where it would lead them, wondering if they were ready for that step. She finally decided that it was time to cool down, so she pushed him back and sat up, giving him a pointed look and pointing in the direction of the bathroom.

“No fun,” Geoff whined when he sat up, he was smiling so Griffon knew he wasn’t mad. He pressed one last kiss to the corner of her mouth and grabbed his shirt on the way out.

She shook her head, rolling her eyes before putting her shirt back on and attempting to fix her hair. She picked up their discarded text books and papers while she waited for him to return, and when he did it was with a sly grin on his face. As soon as he was sat back on the bed she pulled his homework out and dropped it on his lap, instructing him to finish his work before she’d let him take another break. He pouted at first, but it was the fastest she had ever seen his work get done, this time however instead of kissing on break, they ended up lying next to each other in bed, hands clasped between them, chests moving rhythmically up and down as they stared at the ceiling.

“Do you believe in soul mates?” Griffon asked quietly.

“I don’t really know to be honest,” he said squeezing her hand.

“Me either,” she told him, “I mean, I like the thought of everyone in the world having one special person just for them,” she shrugged.

“I like that thought too, and if there are such things as soul mates I’d like to think you’re mine,” he said bumping his shoulder against hers, smiling.

“Well, what happens if we break up? Who’s your soul mate then?” she teased, but maybe, she was actually curious.

“We better just never break up then,” he told her. She nodded once and turned her back to him, pulling his arm around her and shifting back into him.

“Nap time,” she told him when made a noise of confusion. He nodded and tightened his hold on her, burrowing his face in her neck and closing his eyes.

His breathing evened out long before hers did, but even as she finally drifted off to sleep she couldn’t help but worry about their future, if there even was one.

~~~

“That’s the third time you’ve killed me by camping!” Michael yelled throwing his controller to the ground.

“I’m still winning,” Gavin smirked at him, setting his controller on the table in front of them.

“Bullshit, none of those count because you’re being a little bitch,” Michael told him, crossing his arms and huffing.

“Awww Michael,” Gavin cooed, reaching out to pinch the redhead’s cheeks. He was swatted away and pushed back quickly, smiles on both their faces.

“Shut up,” Michael mumbled, getting up to retrieve is controller, unpausing the game and finding Gavin almost instantly.

“Not fair! You totally looked at my screen!” Gavin squawked, fumbling for his controller and trying to regain control.

“You have no proof,” Michael sang, looking again at the bottom half of the screen that Gavin controlled and setting out to find him.

“You’re rubbish,” the Brit whined when Michael chucked a grenade at him, sending his character flying. The round ended then, Michael bringing back the victory and cheering wildly. “You suck!” Gavin cried, voice raising an octave when he shoved the cackling boy off his own couch.

“Aww cheer up Gavvy,” Michael laughed, standing and stretching, missing the way Gavin froze, breath hitching when his shirt lifted revealing a thin strip of pale smooth skin. He stood suddenly, shifting awkwardly before making his way down the hallway. “Where you going boi?” Michael asked confused.

“Bathroom!” Gavin called out turning into the room and shutting the door loudly behind him.

Michael shrugged, sitting back on his couch and waiting for Gavin to return. He was glad that they were slowly getting back to normal, that they were able to play video games again and push each other around without it being tense. When they first arrived at his house Gavin stood shyly in the entry way, until receiving a confused look from Michael that had him moving into the living room and sitting on the couch in his usual spot. After that they were doing homework that they later abandoned for Xbox controllers and here they were. The sun had set almost two hours ago and Michael’s parents were still gone, visiting his grandmother they had told him.

“Aye boi,” Gavin said when he returned.

“Wanna go upstairs? I’m kinda tired of Halo right now,” Michael asked nodding towards the staircase.

“Sure,” Gavin nodded, Michael turned off the TV and downstairs lights engulfing the house in darkness.

They stumbled their way up to Michael’s room, tripping over carpets and bumping into each other. Finally they got to Michael’s door and waited as the redhead groped for the doorknob, twisting it open and pushing his way in. They flopped themselves ungracefully on the bed, limbs hanging off the bed and on top of each other in an uncomfortable pile. Though they were pressing against each other at all sorts of painful angles, elbows in necks and knees in ribs, they made no attempt to move themselves into a better position. They didn’t talk for a long time, trying to find something to talk about it. Gavin really didn’t wanna talk about Kara or Caleb but with his luck that was the first thing Michael said.

“So how are things with you and Caleb going?” he asked then, not turning to look at him.

“Things are good, we’re going out tomorrow night,” Gavin told him, “how’s Kara?”

“They’re alright,” Michael shrugged. Gavin turned to him then, concerned look on his face.

“Why just alright?” he asked.

“I don’t know, I just don’t think she’s that serious about us,” he explained.

“Really? I always thought you were both pretty serious,” Gavin told him.

“Eh, we like making out, she’s always into that, but actually going out and being together isn’t as serious. It’s like… I can’t _talk_ to her, she doesn’t really connect with me like-“ he said, but cut himself off then shrugging and rolling over, back towards Gavin.

“Do you think you’ll break up?” Gavin asked then, turning to his chest was to Michael’s back.

“Probably not, I’ll get over it,” Michael shrugged.

“You shouldn’t have to _get over it_ , if you aren’t happy you shouldn’t be together,” Gavin told him.

“I’m sure we’ll work it out, anyway, it’s getting late and we have school so we should probably go to bed,” the redhead said getting off the bed and searching for some basketball shorts for both of them to wear. He tossed a pair to Gavin and dropped his pants in the middle of the room ignoring Gavin’s surprised squeak, smiling to himself as his friend stood and legged it out of the room to the bathroom.

When the Brit returned they didn’t mention it, they didn’t speak at all actually, just clambered back into bed and pulled the covers up and over them. They whispered their goodnights and turned on their sides, as usual Gavin’s back was to Michael, he wasn’t expecting Michael to cuddle him like normal, it felt weird now that they were both in relationships, but the boy did it anyway, wrapping himself around Gavin and pulling him in tight. Gavin tensed in his arms for only a second before relaxing and curling one hand around Michael’s wrist, shutting his eyes.

~~~

 "You can't name a dog Fluffy Ray, that's so cliche," Ryan told the dark haired boy, pulling back when the other whipped around and glared halfheartedly. It was well after two in the morning, both boys finding it hard to sleep, so they decided to fill the silence with conversation, and while both of them had finally found themselves tired enough to sleep, neither of them wanted to actually end their pillow talk.

"Oh and naming a goldfish Goldy isn't?" Ray countered. 

"I was seven!" Ryan laughed. "I wasn't exactly creative, I was just excited that I had a pet," he said causing the other boy to let out a chuckle. He laid back down and let Ryan pull him back into his chest before asking the next question.

"What's your favorite color?" he whispered, Ryan laughed silently, entire body shaking both he and Ray as he did.

"Shouldn't you know this? We've been friends for, what like five years?" 

"That doesn't mean I know your favorite color," the other boy shrugged. Ryan laughed again, thinking about his answer carefully, he'd say the color of Ray's eyes, but he didn't want to be too obvious, so he thought of the next best thing.

"It's red, like yours," he said finally, fingers reaching up and poking the red rose on the front of Ray's t-shirt.

"Smart choice," Ray told him, backing up when Ryan's fingers moved gently across his chest, tickling him absentmindedly. 

"Do you want kids when you're older?" Ryan asked him, eyes trained on the wall in front of them. 

"I've never really thought about it," he began, "I think I'd like to have one when I'm older, only one though, I'd have a hard enough time with that one," he said. "What about you?"

They were silent for a beat while the blond thought, "I think if I find the right person to raise one with, I'd want one too," he decided. Ray hummed to show he was listening as he burrowed further into the bed.

"Who's your celebrity crush?" he asked then, forcing his eyes open again while Ryan thought.

"Male or female?" he asked.

"Both,"

"Chris Hemsworth and Kim Kardashian duh," Ryan said, voice completely calm and much to Ray's surprise when he turned around his face was straight as well.

"You're- you're joking right?" he asked trying to find any hint of joking on the other boys face. 

"Why would I be? Chris Hemsworth is an amazing Thor," Ryan told him, looking confused.

"That's agreeable, but Kim Kardashian?" he sputtered, "you have to be joking. What happened to Natalie Portman, you've always loved her," 

"That's all in the past Ray," Ryan waved him off. Ray looked at him one more time before turning around and settling back in, decided not to argue anymore.

"Fucking weirdo," he muttered, causing Ryan to break out into giggles.

"I'm totally kidding, Kim Kardashian really? Is any part of her real?" he asked then making Ray snort, reaching up to cover his mouth, face turning bright red at the sound he emitted. "Did you just snort?" Ryan asked, leaning up on his elbow, looking down at his friend wildly shaking his head. "That was adorable," he told him, watching his face turn an even darker shade.

"Shut up," he mumbled turning his face to the pillow and hiding from his laughing friend.

"Okay, okay, so who are your celebrity crushes?" he asked then, making Ray thankful for the change of topic.

"Fucking, Scarlett Johansson and Liam from One Direction," he said.

"God Ray that may be worse than Kim Kardashian, and you gave me shit!" Ryan rolled his eyes while Ray turned to glare at him.

"Have you seen Liam? He's a British God," the other argued. 

"You seem to really have a thing for Brits huh?" Ryan teased, "first Gavin now Liam, anyone else?" he smirked.

"You guys are never gonna let that go huh?" Ray asked, eyebrows raising unimpressed. 

"Not a chance in hell," the other grinned. Ryan turned to look at the clock then, eyes nearly bulging out of his head when he saw the red  _3:24 AM_ glaring back at him. "We should really try sleeping now," he said, feeling Ray relax fully in his arms, sinking into the bed.

"Thought you'd never say those words," he sighed happily, wrapping his hand around Ryan's arm, smiling when Ryan moved so their hands were clasped tightly around his waist as they shut their eyes praying sleep would come quickly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah? The next chapter is gonna be a good one, at least in my opinion it is. I hope you guys liked it and I hope to hear from some of you soon!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter yet! 10k words, god I was really tempted to split this into two but decided against it. I've been really excited to write this one for a while now and I hope you guys enjoy it! Also on another note, the wifi at my house has been shut off, so I don't know what my updating schedule is gonna look like until school gets out, in the summer I'll be somewhere with wifi for all of July and hopefully I can finish the story up by then.  
> Anyway enjoy!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“And you’re sure his parents will buy it?” Jack asked the redhead for the third time.

“Jack, calm down, they’ll buy it, we’ve never given Gav’s parents a reason not to trust us before,” Michael told him.

Earlier that week they had been invited to another one of Joel Heyman’s massive parties, which they instantly agreed too. Finding a suitable lie for Gavin to use on his parents however proved to be a challenge. In the end they decided that since Friday night was the Free’s date night they’d just tell them they were going to a movie and maybe out to eat after, Gavin seemed pretty positive that it would work, so the other boys put their faith in him to figure it out.

“We get there, tell them out plans for the evening, they believe us and we just hang out for a while. They leave around seven and then we get ready and go,” he explained as they reached his locker, the final bell had run and Gavin was quick to go with Caleb, planning where they’d meet that night at what time, and while Michael had gone off in the direction of his locker he ran right into Jack.

“Sounds good to me,” the ginger haired man said.

“Yeah, dude it’s gonna be so sick,” Michael grinned. Jack nodded and waited patiently for the other to finish grabbing his books for the weekend.

“Hello boys,” a voice Michael knew all too well said as she stepped up. Kara smiled tightly at both of them before turning to Jack, “I hate to interrupt but could you give us a minute?” she asked.

“Sure, bus leaves in five Michael,” Jack said as his goodbye as he went off to meet with their other friends. Michael waved as he went before turning to his girlfriend, giving her a questioning look.

“What’s up babe?” he shut his locker and let her take his hand leading him towards the entrance of the school.

“So,” she started, not meeting his gaze. “You know how I had to get off the phone early last night cause my parents wanted to talk?” she asked.

“Yeah…” he said.

“So, it turns out that my dad’s job is transferring him,” she announced and Michael felt his stomach drop.

“Where to?” he asked, coming to a halt in front of the school doors.

“West Virginia,” she rolled her eyes.

“When?” he asked then, reaching out to take her hands, they only had about three minutes left until all the buses left, but Michael didn’t really care right now, even though he could see his five best friends standing in front of Gavin’s bus watching the doors anxiously.

“Like two weeks from now,” she shrugged, still looking at the ground. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, he was quick to reach out for her lifting her head to look at him.

“Don’t apologize, you can’t control this Kara,” he told her.

“I know, I just feel bad, we just started dating and now I have to leave,” she whispered, eyes shiny.

“We’ll- we’ll figure something out,” he assured her, as he heard his friends start calling his name frantically as the buses started turning their engines one and begin shutting doors.

“Just… text me,” she said leaning up to kiss him on the cheek and pushing him towards the doors.

“Are you sure?” he asked, beginning to reach for her again.

“Yes, now go,” she waved him away, small smile making its way onto her face.

He nodded and turned towards the door, rushing outside, sprinting towards Gavin’s bus that they had all just disappeared onto.

“Sorry Dave,” he nodded at the bus driver when he had to open his door back up. “Hey boi,” he greeted, sliding into the seat next to his Brit.

“What was that about?” he asked.

“Nothing,” he shook his head, fishing his phone out of his pocket and opening up to his recent texts from Kara.

_So what do you want to do about us?_

He knew it sounded kinda selfish in a way, Kara was being uprooted from her home and sent to a whole new world and here Michael was, asking about the future of their relationship.

_Do you really think long distance could work?_

Was the response he got, he noticed the curious way Gavin was looking at him, but the boy never said anything and Michael never acknowledged him.

_I don’t think they ever work honestly._

_So we break up?_

He really didn’t want to say yes, but he knew that it was pointless trying to make something work when it was obviously doomed to fail.

_We still have two weeks together, let’s make them count._

_Okay, see you tonight._

The redhead sighed as he shoved his phone back into his pocket and slid down in his seat.

“Okay boi, what’s wrong?” Gavin asked. Michael knew he was trying to be quiet but on the mostly silent bus he was practically shouting, causing their other friends to lean over from their seats and wait for an answer.

“Nothing, just tired,” he shrugged them off, knowing that none of them bought it.

“I hope you’re not too tired dude, we haven’t even started our day,” Geoff told him, watching him intently.

“I’ll just take a nap at Gav’s or something,” he told them leaning his head on Gavin’s shoulder and shutting his eyes ending the conversation.

The rest of the ride to Gavin’s house was mostly silent; Jack and Geoff discussing plans for the evening, and Jack promising again that he wouldn’t let Geoff or Griffon get too drunk and do something they’d regret. Ray and Ryan, while both extremely excited for the nights events, were also concerned about lying to Gavin’s parents, even though they were reassured multiple times that it wouldn’t be a problem.

Once the bus reached their stop they piled off and began making their way up Gavin’s drive way, “Alright lads, when we get in all of you should just go to my room and set up, it’ll look weird if we all go in to talk to them,” Gavin said.

“I’ll stay with you, make it look like we’re getting drinks,” Michael offered. Gavin nodded and pushed his door open, kicking his shoes off at the door and ushering the other four up the stairs while Michael followed him into the kitchen.

“Hey Gav, Michael,” Mr. Free called from the living room. Gavin sent one more look at Michael, nodding and making his way over to where his parents sat.

“Hey mom, dad,” he greeted, kissing his mother on the cheek and sitting next to his dad. Michael stood at the end of the couch before Gavin grabbed his hand and tugged him down onto the arm.

“Shouldn’t you be upstairs with the others?” Mrs. Free asked the two.

“Actually I wanted to ask you if it would be okay for us to take the trolley to the theater later,” Gavin said completely straight faced, something Michael was impressed by.

“Sure sweetie, what time?” his mother smiled.

“Since it’s not a school night we were thinking maybe a nine o’clock one? And then maybe we’d go out to eat or the mall or something?” he asked, looking hopeful.

“I don’t see why not, as long as you all have your phones on you and stay together,” Mrs. Free said looking towards her husband, “honey?” she asked.

“If you’re okay with it then I am,” he shrugged. “If you need a ride home, you just let us know okay? We probably won’t be back ourselves until after eleven, but if you’re still out after that just give us a ring,” he said. Gavin and Michael nodded, thanking them as they stood and made their way towards the staircase.

“I can’t believe that worked,” Michael whispered when they were half way up the stairs, causing Gavin to turn and hush him quickly.

“They’ll hea-“ he started ‘whispering’ but as usual his ‘inside voice’ was never actually quiet and in the end Michael had to slap a hand over his mouth and walk him up the rest of the way.

When they entered the bedroom they were met with the comical sight of all their friends sitting in various places in Gavin’s room completely silent, each other them watching the door anxiously. When the door was shut behind Michael they came to life.

“What took so long?” Geoff said standing and striding over to them.

“Well?”

“Are we in the clear?” Ryan asked and Michael rolled his eyes and nodded.

“Yes, we leave at eight-thirty and we’ll be fine,” he told them flopping onto Gavin’s mattress and hugging his pillow to his chest. “Now if you’ll excuse me,” he rolled over and ignored the ‘boo’s from Jack and Geoff he received.

“That’s actually not a bad idea,” Ray said spreading out on the ground and following Michael’s lead.

“You guys are old men,” Geoff teased, spinning around in Gavin’s computer chair and turning the TV on.

“Wake us up at seven,” Ray muttered.

“Yeah yeah,” Jack said tossing the remote towards Geoff and sitting back.

Ray fell asleep quickly; Michael however took a long time to even try since he really wasn’t all that tired to begin with. He mainly listened to the others conversations, heard the way they teased Ryan for throwing a blanket on Ray after almost an hour. Heard Jack and Geoff talking smack as they watched some murder mystery show and made their own predictions. Felt when Gavin crawled into bed next to him and patted Michael’s hair, noticed that he was mostly absent from their conversations, seeming focused on Michael and Michael only, knowing his was upset about something.

Michael was glad for that really, knew Gavin would be the one person he could talk to about Kara that wouldn’t give him the usual ‘that sucks dude.’

While Michael was upset that Kara was leaving, he wasn’t actually that heartbroken, it’s not like they were gonna get married and fall in love anyway. They were only kids and Michael knew that most high school relationships were doomed from the start, especially if they started in the tenth grade.

So while Kara leaving was a bit of a bummer, he was glad that they’d end on good terms sooner rather than a screaming match later. After almost two hours of laying there silently, he finally let himself be pulled into the lull of Gavin’s fingers running through his hair and fell asleep.

~~~

“Dammit Gavin, just put something on, we’re gonna be late because of you,” Geoff groaned when Gavin threw another t-shirt on his bed in disgust. “And it’s gonna start raining soon,” he pouted, pointing towards the dark clouds in the already dark sky.

“It’s my first party with Caleb, I wanna look decent Geoffrey,” he told him.

“You aren’t gonna look good if your soaking wet because we get there twenty minutes late and get stuck in the downpour!” Geoff whined.

“One second!” Gavin snapped then, ignoring the chocking sounds Geoff made as he dramatically dropped to the floor pretending to die.

“Wasted,” Ryan said in a deep voice, causing the others to snicker and Michael to roll his eyes.

“I hate you,” he said stripping off his blue v-neck and shoving it at Gavin. Gavin sputtered, but took the shirt none the less as Michael grabbed a random black one off the floor and put it on. “Come on, you look fine, Caleb’ll love it,” he said then waiting until Gavin put the shirt on before grabbing his wrist and dragging him from the room.

They threw their shoes on and rushed out the door, turning right and starting their walk towards the bus stop. Luckily for them they were right on time and piling on the bus, finding seats and waiting to get across town.

“This is one of his last parties,” Jack was saying, “it’s probably gonna be a huge one,” he told them all, they were nearly buzzing in their seats, all of them curious as to what the night would bring.

“It’ll probably have more alcohol than ever,” Geoff smirked.

“Amen,” Gavin said reaching for a high five. The two slapped hands and then leaned back in their seats as buildings passed by outside.

“Sober crew,” Ray cheered, flinging his arm around Ryan and grinning when the other boy pulled him in tight.

“We’re gonna get so much black mail material,” the blond said, causing the others to roll their eyes.

“You’ve been awfully quiet Michael,” Gavin muttered next to him. Michael sighed and knew if he didn’t talk to someone soon then he’d explode.

“Kara’s moving in two weeks,” he whispered watching the way Gavin’s eyes widened.

“Why?” he asked.

“Dad’s job is transferring him I guess,” he shrugged.

“Are you guys gonna…” he trailed off.

“We’re gonna break up when she goes, until then we’re gonna make every moment count I guess,” he told him.

“Are you okay?” Gavin asked then, making sure Michael met his gaze, reaching out to squeeze his hand.

“Yeah, I will be, just kinda bummed,” he shrugged again. Gavin nodded, but didn’t say anymore on the subject and Michael didn’t know if he was glad or disappointed really. After a few beats of silence however, Gavin did reach out and grab Michael’s hand again, and this time he didn’t let go until they got to their stop by Joel’s street.

“Let’s go losers,” Geoff said standing and walking down the aisle, thanking the driver as he stepped off. The others followed after, thanking the driver as well and huddling around Geoff.

“Let’s get there before it starts raining,” Jack stated, making sure they were all there before heading in the direction of Joel’s house, seeing other kids from school walking on the other side of the street or further ahead, some kids drove by blaring music with the windows down, shouting profanities at other party-goers, clearly having had a head start on the drinking.

“I can’t wait to play some pong,” Geoff told them, a skip in his step as they neared the front yard.

“I can’t wait for the day you lose,” Michael smirked.

“Not possible, I’ve played at every party we’ve been to and haven’t lost once,” Geoff grinned.

“Don’t jinx yourself,” Ryan warned him.

Geoff simply rolled his eyes as they made it to the door, “see you losers later,” was the last thing he said to them before opening the door and letting the crowd sweep him away.

“I’ll go with him,” Jack said, “don’t get lost, don’t do drugs, Ray, Ryan, don’t get fucking hammered, but most importantly have fun kids,” he rambled before pushing through to where Geoff had just disappeared.

“Thanks dad!” Ray called after him before looking at Ryan and hooking his arm around the other boy’s. “Let’s go be buzz kills,” he smiled, dragging him into the house and starting down the hallway.

“We have the weirdest friends,” Gavin chuckled, “so where is Kara supposed to be?” he asked.

“Living room,” Michael told him after taking his phone out and reading her last text. “Apparently she’s with Caleb and the girls,” he grabbed the Brit’s wrist and dragged him through the entryway and into the living room where a mass of bodies were grinding and moving against each other on the makeshift dance floor that Joel had set up.

They stood frozen on the outside of it all while they scanned the room for any of their friends when Gavin suddenly got on the tips of his toes and pointed to the far corner of the room. “There!” he had to shout to be heard over the loud music. Michael looked over to where he was pointing and was met with the sight of his girlfriend laughing and talking with Lindsay, Barbara, Tina and Meg as well as Caleb standing off to the side looking around the room, _probably for Gavin_ the redhead thought.

There was no way that they could go around since they were surrounded, so before either of them could think too long about it, Michael pushed Gavin into the middle of it all, keeping himself right against Gavin’s back as they continued on towards their significant others. They had made it to the middle of the crowd when they came to a stop as bodies pressed in on every side of them, causing Michael to wrap his arm around Gavin’s front, hand splayed low on his stomach to keep him from getting lost or hurt.

Gavin’s breath hitched, his stomach jumping under the sudden heat, “just keep your head down and push through,” Michael whispered lowly. Gavin nodded and ducked as Michael began walking behind him, forcing him to spring into action. They moved slowly, trying not to upset too many drunken dancers, but finally they were breaking through the other end of the crowd and meeting their friends, faces already red and sweaty.

“There you are!” Kara exclaimed racing forward to plant a sweet kiss on her boyfriend’s lips. He smiled against her mouth and put his hands on her hips when they pulled away.

“Sorry it took so long, we got held up,” he told her winking at Gavin.

“Too many bloody people,” he muttered rolling his eyes before kissing his boyfriend on the cheek.

“Here,” Caleb handed him a red cup filled with dark liquid, “rum and coke,” he explained when Gavin looked at him suspiciously. His boyfriend nodded and took the cup with a smile and a ‘thank you’ before taking a long sip.

“Hey losers,” Lindsay greeted, taking a sip of her own drink.

“Hey,” Michael nodded in greeting, reaching out and taking Lindsay’s cup from her, taking a long swig.

“Could’ve asked,” she told him taking her cup back with a halfhearted glare.

“Yeah? I could’ve, but the answer would’ve been no,” he smirked; Lindsay opened her mouth to argue but shut it instantly.

“You’re not wrong,” she shrugged.

“I’m gonna go find Aaron,” Barbara announced then, handing her drink to Michael and heading off through the kitchen.

“Hey guys, having a good time?” a boy with light brown hair asked, coming up between Gavin and Caleb, putting a hand on both of their shoulders. He was swaying slightly where he stood, grinning like a mad man as he looked at Caleb.

“Hey Ross,” Caleb greeted, the two stepped away from the group for a long minute talking about some class they shared and the homework for the weekend.

Gavin seemed to not care one bit, talking instead to Tina and Meg about their plans for after the party. Michael was busy kissing Kara, so that left Lindsay who seemed to be the only one to notice the fleeting touches between Caleb and this Ross fellow. She was the only one that saw the way Caleb’s eyes were drifting between Ross’s eyes and mouth repeatedly through their conversation, and while she wasn’t close enough to hear them over the thumping music and shouting she did notice that when they stepped away from each other Ross sent a wink to Caleb as he stalked back into the crowd.

When he turned back to them she also took in the way he started drinking more, finishing his cup and Barbara’s discarded cup as well as most of Gavin’s because the Brit was too busy talking to drink any.

“Let’s go dance,” Kara said then wrapping her hands around Michael’s bicep and attempting to pull him towards the hoard of dancing teens.

“I don’t dance,” he shook his head instantly attempting to pull away.

“Come on, I’ll show you,” she pouted, stomping one foot and pulling him close.

“Kara,” he started, but was cut off when her lips came crashing down on his, her hands crawling up his chest towards his shoulders.

“Come on,” she mumbled, slowly pulling him with her to the dance floor, “just for a little while,” she smirked when he finally gave in. He followed her helplessly into the middle of the floor and let her push her back to his front. The music was loud, and everyone around him was dancing in the filthiest ways, and to be honest Michael wasn’t quite sure he wanted to follow their footsteps, but when Kara grabbed his hands and set them on her hips, moving her body in a slow circle Michael stopped his mental complaining.

He looked back over to where his other friends were and caught Gavin’s eye, throwing him a sly wink before attaching his mouth to Kara’s neck, enjoying the rhythm. She smirked as they moved, reaching back and grabbing onto his hair, tugging gently, he groaned against her neck making her giggle.

“Holy shit,” Tina breathed.

“I can’t believe she actually got him out there,” Meg stated.

“Girl must know magic,” the other chuckled.

“Yeah, I don’t know anyone who could ever get him out there, except maybe Gav,” Lindsay laughed.

“Even I couldn’t get him to dance, he just doesn’t do it,” the Brit shrugged. The redhead just hummed and turned back to watching her friends dance dirtily on the floor.

“Excuse me ladies, babe,” Caleb stood, setting his drink on the table and kissing Gavin quickly, “I’m gonna run to the little boys room,” he strutted off through the kitchen, Lindsay watching skeptically as he took the same path Ross had taken not even three minutes ago.

“So Gav,” Meg giggled, “how long have you and Caleb been together now?” she asked.

“About a month and a half,” he told her, face flushing when they all cooed.

“Have things gotten heavy?” Meg asked then, clearly having no shame.

“What? No!” the boy squawked.

“Come on, live a little,” she nudged him.

“I don’t- I’m not,” he stuttered, grabbing Caleb’s cup off the table and chugging its contents, barely wincing at the taste.

“Come on girls, you’re scaring him,” Lindsay said shooing them away, “I’ll protect you,” she laughed putting her arm around him and turning him towards the crowd. “Ignore the mean girls,” she told him, smiling when he shook his head, grin etched on his face.

She looked one more time in the direction that Caleb had stalked off in and prayed that she was just reading too far into things.

~~~

“Success!” Geoff cheered, throwing his arms up in the air and turning towards Griffon.

“You did it again Ramsey,” Adam said clapping him on the back.

“Damn right,” he smirked, pulling Griffon in for a victory kiss.

They hadn’t even been there for a full hour and Geoff had already won two games of beer pong, something that everyone watching definitely had to be impressed by. While everyone else was cheering him on and happy for him Jack was busy watching both him and Griffon, him to make sure he didn’t drink too much while playing and Griffon to make sure she didn’t drink too much while being bored that her boyfriend was ignoring her. She always cheered him on for his first game, but that didn’t mean she didn’t want some alone time with her boyfriend too.

“Another game?” he asked the crowd, grinning when no one agreed, crowning him the champion. “Too bad,” he mumbled turning back to his girlfriend.

“Thank god,” she whispered in his ear grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the staircase.

“They better not fuck in my room,” Joel deadpanned as they walked away.

“They’re not drunk enough,” Jack laughed shaking his head.

“You promise?” Joel teased.

“Oh yeah,” Jack nodded, “plus Geoff wouldn’t do that, even if he were shit faced. Making out however…” he shrugged.

“I’m sleeping on the couch,” he groaned. Jack just laughed and turned back to watch as Adam started setting up the next game, calling out four small freshmen boys, all too eager to prove themselves.

“Oh, this’ll be good,” Joel murmured, raising his cup to his lips. Jack just leaned back and watched with him.

Once Geoff and Griffon made it upstairs she pulled him down the hallway to a room that Geoff remembered from the last time they had been at the house, Joel’s room.

“I’ve been dying to get you alone,” she giggled when they got inside.

“Oh?” he asked looking down at her.

“Mhm,” she hummed.

“Are you sure we should be fooling around in someone else’s room?” he asked when she locked the door.

“You didn’t complain last time,” she raised an eyebrow pushing him backwards until his knees hit the bed.

“I wasn’t all too sober last time,” he smirked.

“Too bad,” she pouted, pushing him down onto his back and trailing kisses along his neck. She giggled when his hips bucked up into her, throwing her hands out next to his head to steady herself.

“Griffon wait,” he blurted, hands gripping her hips to halt their movements. “How much have you had to drink?” he asked sternly.

“Less than you,” she told him. She met his gaze steadily and Geoff knew that she was almost completely sober, eyes not clouded over in the slightest so he nodded and let her continue.

Like the week before they took their time, kissing lazily, hands tracing nonsensical patterns across skin. Since they were in a more public setting Geoff wasn’t planning on taking it any farther than kissing, Griffon however seemed to have other plans.

She reached down between them and curled her hands around the bottom of his shirt, looking at him questioningly. He only considered it for a second because Griffon was kissing the shell of his ear and whispering, “Please?” so sweetly and innocently that Geoff was nodding wildly.

She smirked when she pulled it off, setting it next to them on the bed. She kissed along his chest and down to his belly button before sitting up and giggling.

“What?” he asked then, smiling with her.

“I’m just imagining your chest and arms covered in tattoos,” she explained.

“And that’s funny?” he raised a brow.

“It’s hot,” she told him, reaching up and taking her shirt off, setting it on his and grabbing his hands, setting them on her hips, sliding them across her stomach and up to her chest.

“God Griffon, you’re gonna kill me,” he whimpered, hands sliding down her arms and holding her wrists where her hands were resting on his chest. She giggled and that’s when Geoff knew he was gonna lose control, so he did the only logical thing he could think of; he flipped them over and crushed his mouth against hers hungrily, pinning her hands above their heads, licking into her mouth.

They quickly lost track of time, kissing and touching each other for well over twenty minutes when they heard a loud shatter, thump and then screaming from downstairs. Soon after the music shut off and they heard a few voices and then silence.

“What the fuck?” Griffon jumped, Geoff climbed off her grabbing their shirts and handing her hers before throwing his on and rushing out the door.

~~~

_15 minutes earlier_

“It’s not raining that hard,” Ryan tried to reason.

“Are you kidding me? I’ll get soaked in seconds,” Ray argued.

“Live a little,” Ryan whined.

“I am living, I’m living by staying in here and not getting pneumonia and dying,” the other crossed his arms.

It had been pouring rain for almost twenty minutes now, the same amount of time that Ryan was trying to convince Ray to go outside with him. As soon as it had started Ryan dragged Ray over to the back door that was made of glass, looking excitedly outside. Leave it to Ray to have a crush on a sixteen year old that acted seven.

“You’re killing me Ray,” he said throwing his hand over his forehead dramatically.

“Bitch I’m saving you,” Ray countered.

“What would it take to get you out there?” the blond pouted, leaning back against the wall.

“A million dollars,” he deadpanned.

“Can I pay you over time?” Ryan asked.

“I’m not going out there,” Ray said sternly.

“Would you be mad if I carried you out?” Ryan asked then, taking a step closer.

“Don’t you dare,” Ray warned stepping away and hitting the wall.

“Or what?” he smirked.

“I will fucking end you,” Ray glared.

“Fine,” Ryan sighed then.

“Good,” Ray said, still looking at him skeptically.

Ryan smiled at him and nodded to his cup, “you empty?” he asked finally changing the subject, something Ray was grateful for.

“Yeah,” he nodded.

“I’ll go get us refills, don’t move, and don’t talk to strangers,” Ryan said sternly, grinning when Ray shoved him away.

“Dork,” he muttered as he watched him go.

Ryan walked away from the back door and started his search for the coke cooler, when they first arrived it was in the kitchen, but when they went for their first refills it had moved to the entryway, while Ryan was searching this time he saw some familiar faces.

“Ladies, Gavin,” he greeted stepping beside the anxious looking boy.

“Hey Ryan,” Tina nodded; he nodded back and then focused all his attention on Gavin.

“What’s wrong?” he asked reaching out and squeezing his shoulder.

“Caleb went to the bathroom a really long time ago and he’s not answering his phone,” the Brit explained stepping on his tippy toes to look around the room again.

“That’s… odd,” the blonde said scanning the room.

“Yeah,” Meg agreed, giving Ryan a worried look.

“Do you think he stopped to talk to someone and his phone is shut off?” Ryan asked then, trying to calm his friend.

“Highly unlikely,” Lindsay said quietly, Ryan was the only one that heard her, turning to raise an eyebrow, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. She did however take her phone out and start typing while Tina and Meg tried to comfort Gavin and Ryan stood awkwardly next to them all.

He was about to excuse himself when he felt a vibration in his pocket, pulling it out to find a text from the redhead to his left.

_I get a weird feeling about Caleb._

_Like what?_

_He was really flirty with some other kid earlier, while standing right where you are._ Ryan raised an eyebrow at that one and turned to Lindsay, she met his eyes briefly giving him a knowing look and turning back to Tina, pretending she had been listening all along.

“Well,” Ryan said suddenly, “I have to go, but I’ll keep an eye out and maybe you could try texting the others, maybe they’ve seen him,” he suggested. Gavin nodded and then the blond was walking away, stopping at the coke cooler he found back in the middle of the kitchen and then turning around, spotting Jack by a table where four guys Ryan didn’t know the names of were playing beer pong.

“Hey man,” Jack greeted when he approached.

“Hey, where’s Geoff?” he asked.

“Upstairs with Griffon,” Jack said knowingly.

“Oh,” Ryan smirked, “hey have you seen Caleb? Apparently he’s been gone for a while and Gav’s worried,” he told him.

“I haven’t seen him all night, sorry man. I’ll keep an eye open though,” the ginger offered offered.

Ryan nodded and then set off again in search of Caleb, however the large crowds now blocking the way he had come forced him to push his way through the front entrance where he debated just going outside and walking around to the back, but he didn’t want to have a concerned Ray doting after him all night. When he got back to the front door he had to jump out of the way of several drunken kids running towards the door announcing their departure and slamming the door shut behind them.

“Fucking idiots,” he mumbled from his spot against the wall that he was now pressed against. He pushed away from it and began making his way back to Ray when he heard a thumping from the closet behind him, he turned towards it, a disgusted look on his face when he heard moaning and what he thought was the name _Caleb._

“Fuck,” he sighed, “lord, please make me wrong,” he muttered looking up at the ceiling before attempting to juggle the two drinks in his hands into one. He took a deep breath before pulling the closet door open and watching Caleb and some other kid he didn’t know jump at the sudden light breaking in. The cups in Ryan’s hands clattered to the floor, dark brown liquid going everywhere, thankfully it was a tiled floor.

“Ryan,” Caleb began, ripping his hand out of the other kid’s pants and attempting to fix his own appearance. His hair was wild and his eyes were bloodshot, but he didn’t look half as bad as the other boy in there, looking at him sheepishly.

“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Ryan chuckled incredulously. “You’re unbelievable,” he told him.

“Hey man c’mon,” the other kid stepped forward, reaching out to grab Ryan’s shoulder, the blond stepped away and watched the hand fall limp back at his side.

“Who the fuck are you?” he asked, full attention on the brunette.

“Ross and-“ he started, but Ryan held his hand up cutting him off immediately. He took a few deep breaths before speaking, trying to keep his calm.

“Well Ross, if you value your life, I suggest you get the fuck outta here,” he said darkly, “fast,” he added, eyes hardening. Ross didn’t say a word, just sent Caleb one last pitying look before booking it out of the closet.

At that point Joel, Adam, Jack and a few other party-goers were beginning to gather around the scene, trying to figure out what had caused two spilled drinks, one boy fearing for his life and one boy racing out, door still open behind him.

“Ryan, it’s not- I didn’t, please don’t tell Gavin,” he was so scared that he was practically sober, the only signs that he wasn’t was the smell of his breath heavy of rum.

Ryan was doing a really good job, he’d like to think. He had remained calm and collected through the whole ordeal so far, but the second that Caleb uttered one of his best friends names Ryan lost it, and before anyone could blink Ryan was swinging his fist hard and fast, knocking Caleb back and into a guy that was holding two glass cups in his hands, sending the cups and their contents shattering to the ground with his. He didn’t register the two freshman girls behind him screaming. Someone must have shut the music off then to see what was happening, not that Ryan cared. He didn’t notice Jack reaching out to pull him away; he didn’t really register anything, until he heard a confused British voice behind him.

“Ryan?” Gavin asked cautiously.

“Is there a reason you’ve just broken two of my glasses and spilled shit all over my floor?” Joel asked, sounding rather relaxed.

“This asshole here was cheating on my friend,” Ryan seethed then, not meeting Gavin’s eyes, instead looking right at Joel and hoping he wouldn’t get too mad. There was mostly silence, a few gasps from random watchers, but everyone was mainly looking between Gavin and Caleb, some people snickering and others glaring. Ryan heard a deep inhale and exhale behind him before Gavin was pushing his way through the crowd and moving towards the door, Ryan reached for him but thought better of it figuring that he was embarrassed enough.

“Are you fucking serious?” a new voice said, they turned to see Geoff standing in the middle of the staircase frozen, hair a mess and Griffon standing behind him just as shocked.

“Not cool,” Adam mumbled.

“I’m sorry Joel, I’ll find a way to pay for it,” Ryan said then.

“Don’t worry about it, nothing a mop and broom can’t handle, one request though,” Joel said. Ryan tilted his head to show he was listening. “Don’t get any blood on the carpets,” was all he said before turning beginning to walk back to the kitchen.

“I make no promises,” Ryan called after him, smirking when Joel just shrugged, back still to him, and continued on his way. He turned back to Caleb who was still sitting in the middle of it all, cheek already sporting a dark red spot, hair and clothes still ruffled up, pants now stained and soaked in coke and alcohol.

“What the hell is going on?” Ray asked as he, Michael and Kara pushed their way through. Lindsay leaned over and whispered to the three of them while everyone else broke out into a loud chatter, some stepping away from the scene all together, others stepping closer waiting to see what would happen next.

“You motherfucker!” Michael yelled, lunging forward when Lindsay finished, Kara and Ray were quick to hold him back though.

“Don’t,” Ray demanded, “he isn’t worth it,”

“Ryan and I got this,” Geoff said walking agonizingly slow down the last of the steps. He grabbed Michael from the front of the circle and pulled him close, “Gavin needs you,” he whispered. Michael was pissed, but he nodded anyway, reaching for Kara and kissing her before slipping out the door and racing in the direction of Gavin’s house.

“Look guys, can’t we talk this out?” Caleb stuttered, getting to his feet and backing up.

“Nope,” Geoff shut him down, grabbing him by the arm and dragging him out of the house, Ryan following closely behind.

Joel chose that moment to return, holding a roll of paper towels and a broom, both of which he handed off to two random sophomores commanding them to clean the mess and stating that there was nothing more to see. Adam shut the door behind the three and stood in front of it looking intimidating to all the others.

“Come on,” Jack told Ray. He stepped away from the safety of his other friends walking with his head down, trying to ignore the stares of the strangers around him.

“I don’t wanna see this,” he whispered to Jack once they reached him. Griffon chose that moment to join them, mumbling something about her ‘stupid hero boyfriend’.

“I know, but you’re the only one that can save him from Ryan,” Jack shrugged apologetically, nodding towards Adam and stepping out into the rain where Geoff and Ryan were already beating the shit out of Caleb.

Much to their surprise it also seemed that Caleb was getting a few shots in on each of them. Hitting Ryan across the jaw once and getting Geoff right in the gut, but that was all he got before they were taking him down and wailing on him. When Jack looked back towards the house he noticed the blinds open in multiple places, various kids watching the scene unfold. Ray winced with every punch, trying to avert his eyes but also peeking back.

“Okay, he’s had enough,” Jack announced after another ten seconds of ‘umphs’ and ‘oophs.’ Ray nodded and quickly made his way over to where the three were piled on the ground, instantly soaked.

“Ryan,” he whispered at first, wincing with every hit. Either the blond didn’t hear him over the sound of the rain, or he chose not to acknowledge him. “Ryan,” he said, louder this time, stepping closer. He still didn’t stop, continuing to punch the boy repeatedly in the torso and face, making Ray step away completely, looking pleadingly at Jack.

Fortunately Geoff came to his senses and stood when Ray and Griffon approached, letting Griffon pull him away and hug him tight.

“Ryan he’s had enough,” Geoff said then, reaching forward and placing a hand on his shoulder heavily. He turned then, watching Jack whispering to Ray, and the smaller boy nod. Again Ryan swung his fist until finally Geoff sighed and gently pushed Griffon away, tackling Ryan off the nearly unconscious boy.

“Get off,” the blond grunted, bucking wildly and pushing at his friend.

Luckily Geoff was strong and managed to keep Ryan down, leaning close to him and whispering, “You’re scaring him.”

The other froze under him, head snapping to the side where he knew the other three were, catching Ray leaning his head on Jack’s shoulder, shivering and wet, eyes trained on the street ahead of them. “Shit,” he mumbled then. Geoff looked at him sympathetically and got off him, reaching his hand out and pulling him up. They were both wet and covered in blood, only some of it theirs.

“Let’s get back to Gavin’s,” Jack said then, loud enough to be heard over the rain but not loud enough to spook Ray.

“I’m staying at Lindsay’s with the girls tonight; I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” Griffon told Geoff. He nodded and reached out for her, but she was quick to push him back gently, “babe you’re covered in blood,” she said then, brushing her hand across his face, pulling back to show him.

“Oh, shit, sorry,” he said then, stepping back and waving goodnight.

“Tell Gavin to call me if he needs me,” she told him, turning and heading back for the house.

Geoff turned back to his other three friends and gestured for one of them to start leading the way. Ryan did so quickly, turning on his heels and stalking off, Jack following closely behind. Geoff looked at Ray next, letting him be the next, but also making sure he was okay to move. He met Geoff’s eyes and nodded once before turning to follow the others. It wasn’t exactly a confirmation that he was okay, but it was all he was offering for now, so Geoff had to take it.

They walked quickly, trying to hurry back to the bus stop as rain pelted down on them. “Up there,” Jack pointed to the end of the street they were currently on. They saw the blue bus stop sign and practically sprinted the rest of the way to it. The bus came once every half hour, so according to Geoff’s phone they had four minutes until the next one came to pick them up. It was a little after ten-thirty, so hopefully Gavin’s parents weren’t home yet, but none of them held their breath when they got on and found seats. The driver looked startled when they walked on, all dripping wet and two of them with bruised knuckles and red faces, luckily most of the blood had been washed away by them rubbing their shirts across their faces and the rain.

Jack’s main concern was that his friends would be dealing with a lawsuit from Caleb’s parents; Geoff was just worried that Gavin’s parents would find out, get pissed, and call his parents. Ryan was worried about what Ray was thinking and feeling and Ray was worried about a lot of things, mainly Gavin. Wondering if he was okay, if he was with Michael or if he was out there alone, but since they were already over half way to the Brit’s house he decided he’d see for himself soon enough. He was also worried about Ryan, if his face was okay and if he was emotionally okay, Ray knew that Ryan was the slightly ‘mad’ one of the group, but to see him actually in a rage like something Michael would pull in a game, but instead of screaming he was actually getting physical, well, it was not something Ray ever wanted to get used to. He shook the negative thoughts from his mind and reminded himself that it was only because Gavin was one of the best people they had known and obviously they’d all go to hell for each other, but it was _Gavin_ and Ray was sure if he wasn’t such a pussy he definitely would’ve hit the kid too.

When they arrived at the stop near his house they stood wordlessly and shuffled down towards the driver, none of them speaking except Geoff thanking him quietly and stepping off. He did a quick headcount before nodding and leading the rest of the way. However they all stopped in their tracks when they saw that both of Gavin’s parent’s cars were in the driveway.

“Alright,” Geoff began, “let me do all the talking,”

“You’ve been drinking, let me,” Jack said then.

“So have you,” Ray pointed out, the first thing he had said in over ten minutes.

“Just let me, I’m older than all of you,” Geoff said irritably.

“By like two months,” Jack argued, but when Geoff held his hand up to silence him he let it go.

They all took a deep breath and then Geoff was pushing the door open, they were met with a sight they were not prepared for. Gavin’s parents were standing in the living room, TV shut off and looking worriedly at the door. They both sighed in relief when the four soaking wet boys got in.

“I’ll get some towels,” Mrs. Free told them, hurrying up the stairs.

“Alright boys,” Mr. Free started, “I don’t know what happened, but I’d sure as hell like to know why my son came home crying tonight,” he said sternly. _Well hello to you too,_ Geoff thought, mentally rolling his eyes.

They all started talking at once, each of them spewing nonsense when Geoff finally turned to all of them with a murderous glare. “You guys go upstairs and check on Gav and Michael, I’ll tell them,” he said pointing at the stairs just as Mrs. Free came down holding multiple towels. She silently handed one to each boy and watched Ray, Jack and Ryan make their way upstairs avoiding eye contact.

Once they heard Gavin’s door shut, Geoff walked into the living room, towel wrapped around his shoulders, stopping in front of where the two adults were sitting patiently on the couch.

“I’m not gonna lie,” he shrugged, “we went to a party. I don’t really know what lead up to it, Ryan’s the one that found him, but he found Caleb,” he paused to take a breath, trying to calm the anger that was creeping back up. “He found Caleb and some other kid in a closet, and Gavin just… took off,” he finished, not meeting Mr. Free’s eyes and wincing when Mrs. Free gasped. He didn’t wanna think about what they were feeling, Gavin was their little boy and to find out that his first boyfriend had cheated on him was not something they could’ve taken lightly.

“I have a few questions,” Mr. Free stated. “Was this the first party you kids have snuck off too?”

“No sir,” Geoff said meeting his eyes.

“Was there alcohol or drugs?” he asked then.

“Yes,” Geoff said, gaze unwavering.

“How’d you get that bruise?” he nodded towards Geoff face.

“Beating the crap outta Caleb,” Geoff told him, finally looking down, ashamed of his behavior. Mrs. Free gasped again, before she silently stood and made her way into the kitchen, Geoff wasn’t expecting her to come back with an ice pack, he had thought she was angry, taking a breather before coming back to yell at him. He took the ice gratefully and pressed it against his face.

“I’m gonna sound like such a bad parent but, did he get it worse?” he asked then, Geoff’s head snapped back up, a startled look on his face, but at that point he couldn’t hide his smirk.

“Hell yes,” Mr. Free tried to hide his smile while Mrs. Free glared at him.

“Well Geoff, thank you for your honesty,” she said, “and for looking out for Gavin,” she added then.

“Not a problem ma’am,” he nodded.

“When you go upstairs could you send Michael down?” she asked then, Geoff stiffened in response, but nodded. He had had no idea what happened in the house before they returned, so he didn’t know what they could possibly want Michael for.

“Goodnight,” he turned and made his way back to the staircase, taking them slowly, finally relaxing as he made it to Gavin’s door.

He opened it quietly and smiled at the sight he was met with. Michael and Gavin were on his bed, Gavin’s head on Michael’s lap while he slept peacefully, the other boy carding his fingers through Gavin’s hair gently. Jack was sitting on their right watching the two, frown on his face. Ryan had been saying something when Geoff walked in, but stopped immediately, Ray was sitting at the end of the bed, back to Geoff.

“Michael, you’re wanted down stairs,” he announced tossing his towel on the floor with the others and moving over to Jack’s side.

“Ray could you?” he asked, gesturing towards Gavin. The dark haired boy nodded and made his way up the bed, slipping into Michael’s spot and letting Michael place Gavin’s head in his lap instead. He immediately resumed what Michael had been doing, running his fingers through his hair and his other hand reached out to rub his back.

“Are they mad?” Michael whispered when he was standing by Geoff.

“I don’t think so, disappointed that we lied, maybe, but not mad,” he shrugged. Michael nodded and made his way out, shutting the door quietly behind him. He was still pissed, and a little jealous that Ryan and Geoff got to be the ones to wail on the prick, but Gavin had really needed him. Luckily it wasn’t hard to find him since Michael knew him like the back of his hand.

Michael had known that he wouldn’t have even considered the bus in his sad state, which only made it harder to find him, since the rain was pounding against the streets, drowning Michael’s calls for him out and since Gavin wouldn’t answer his phone the twelve times Michael had called him it left him running aimlessly through town trying to remember which turns would lead him back to the Free residence.

Fortunately he had only had about two drinks so he was able to think properly and find the way, and he must be extremely lucky because he found Gavin a little over half way home. The poor Brit was standing under a street light, repeatedly pressing the crosswalk button and waiting for the sign to turn white. He had been soaked through, shaking like a leaf, so naturally the first thing Michael did when he reached him was pull him in for a big hug, squeezing him against his chest and trying to warm him up. Gavin didn’t even need to look to see who it had been, just buried his face in Michael’s neck and let the redhead guide them the rest of the way home.

They didn’t speak for the whole walk, just clung to each other tightly and kept their heads down. When Michael went from having one arm wrapped around him to holding his hand as they walked Gavin didn’t comment obnoxiously like he normally would’ve, which only worried Michael more.

When they made it to Gavin’s house they noticed that his parents were home and cursed under their breath, but Gavin didn’t waste any time, just pushed the door open, kicked his shoes off and ran upstairs all while his mother attempted to talk to him. Michael offered them a sympathetic look, but was quick to race off after him ignoring Gavin’s parents, something he did feel horrible about, but at that moment his main focus was their son.

When he got into the other boys room he was met with him wrapped in a towel shivering on his bed, water trailed from his hair down his nose and dripped onto his jeans, no doubt he was soaking his bedspread completely.

When he noticed Michael he handed the towel to him wordlessly, but Michael declined it sitting next to him on the bed, waiting for him to make the first move. “I don’t wanna talk about it,” he whispered after a few minutes.

“Then we won’t talk about it,” Michael shrugged. Gavin turned to look at him then, a grateful look in his eyes.

Again they were silent, Gavin continuing to dry himself off, but as usual it was making Michael cringe at how horribly he was doing, so the redhead eventually took the towel from his hands and ran it across his face and rubbed it all threw his hair while the other boy made sounds of distress, swatting at him while he laughed. Michael let him go finally, digging his phone from his pocket and searching for any messages from his friends that they’d be on the way, he had none, just one from Kara wishing him a goodnight.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whispered suddenly. Michael looked at him, head tilted, but the Brit’s eyes were trained on the dresser across the room.

“For what?” he asked, setting his phone down and turning fully to his friend.

“You only have so little time left before Kara leaves and I pulled you away from her tonight and you were having such a good time an-“ he rambled, but Michael was quick to shush him, placing a finger in front of his best friends mouth and shooting him a stern look.

“First of all, you didn’t do anything. You needed me and I came willingly, I was having a good time yes, but I can’t have a good time if you aren’t,” he said quietly, “you’re my boi,” he added nudging him.

“You swear? I just feel bad…” he trailed off, avoiding the redheads gaze.

“Gavin, I hate to sound like a dick, but Kara is just some girl, we weren’t in love or getting married. You’re my best friend, and you have been for like nine years now, that means a hell of a lot more,” he told him. “Okay?” he asked, moving into Gavin’s line of sight and smiling softly.

“Mhm,” the other hummed.

“Nope,” Michael said.

“What?” he asked confused.

“I know that ‘mhm,’ that’s the ‘I don’t believe a word he’s saying’ mhm,” he said in a cheesy British accent.

“Fine, I believe you,” he rolled his eyes, shivering right after.

“Good, now come on, let’s get into some warm clothes and get you to bed,” he said then, standing up and moving over to where he knew Gavin kept his pj’s, digging through until he found a pair of shorts and a t-shirt suitable enough. When he returned to the bed however Gavin shook his head and got up himself, digging through his other drawers before he found the red _Touch My Awesome Button_ shirt.

“Are you sure you wanna wear that one?” Michael asked him slowly, that was after all the shirt he wore on his first date with Caleb.

“It smells like you,” Gavin told him, eyes bright. Michael blushed and looked away, nodding at the wall and hoping Gavin didn’t see his smile.

“Weird,” he said after another second. Gavin rolled his eyes and motioned for Michael to turn away so he could change and then pulled his sticky wet clothes off and threw them in his hamper before pulling on his other clothes and crashing down on his mattress, telling Michael it was his turn.

Within seconds Michael was joining him in bed, sitting up and pulling Gavin so he was mostly in his lap. “What’re you doing?” the boy whined at being pulled from his position.

“Comforting you, now shut up and go to sleep,” the other mumbled, running his fingers through his hair. Gavin was silent after that and soon his breathing evened out and he was dead to the world.

Now he was walking into the living room to face the boy’s parents, afraid that they’d be mad at him for ignoring them earlier, apology already on the tip of his tongue. Though before he could open his mouth Mrs. Free was standing and pulling him into a big hug.

“Thank you,” was all she said when she stepped away.

“For what? Ryan and Geoff are the ones that beat him up,” he replied slowly.

“We’ll thank them later,” Mr. Free waved him off, “but you were the one that was with Gavin when he needed you, so thank you for that,” he said reaching out to pat him on the shoulder.

“It’s never a problem,” he told them honestly.

“We’re glad he has friends like you guys,” Mrs. Free smiled at him; he blushed and looked away nodding once. After that they were telling him that in the morning they’ll be giving them a stern talking to about lying and drinking underage, but to have a goodnight.

He bid them a goodnight and skipped up the stairs, walking inside to see everyone sprawled around the room in various positions. Geoff seemed to have followed after Gavin and fallen asleep curled up next to Jack who was lying down, staring aimlessly at the ceiling. Ray was still in bed with Gavin, smiling when Michael walked in and Ryan was turned facing the wall, but Michael knew he was still awake, he rarely fell asleep before anyone else, always the last and only when he was cuddled up with Ray, something he had admitted late one night on the phone with Michael.

“You’re in my seat,” he whispered when he got to Ray. The other nodded and slowly slid out from under Gavin, this time though, instead of sitting up Michael lay down next to him and pulled him down on his chest.

“Night man,” Ray whispered, getting up and moving to the end of the bed on the floor. Michael was surprised actually, he knew something must’ve happened between him and Ryan after he had left, but for him to avoid sleeping next to him as usual was something Michael was definitely not used too. Even when they were mad at each other they still cuddled up to show that they’d be okay.

He decided he’d ask Ray about it in the morning, shutting his eyes and running his hand through Gavin’s hair again.

~~~

Gavin woke up in the middle of the night, dehydrated and disoriented. He sat up quickly thankfully not disturbing anyone else in the room, and when he looked at the clock he saw that it was a little after two am. It took him a while to figure out how he got to his bed and why his mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton, but when he looked down and saw Geoff and Jack sleeping on one side of his bed and took in the arm slung low on his stomach, belonging to his best friend he remembered everything from that night.

His head spun at the thought, Ryan standing over Caleb as he announced what he had done. When Gavin first heard the words he couldn’t think straight, thought maybe Ryan was joking or he was dreaming, but when he heard Geoff at the top of the staircase and felt Meg’s hand grab his arm gently, heard Tina gasp, he knew he was awake.

He didn’t think, just ran, hell anyone who was someone was at that party, no doubt they would all know about how pathetic Gavin was on Monday at school, he shivered at the thought. While he was happy that his friends had taken care of things for him, he was nervous about the fact that Caleb would possibly get them all in trouble with school or that law or whatever bullshit. Gavin wouldn’t put it past him to act like a little bitch when he was in the wrong, which made Gavin think about their biology class and the fact that they had another two weeks before it was over with and the new term was starting, and god what if they had every class together next term? He knew it was a long shot but the fear did crawl in the back of his mind.

He shook the thought away for now and slowly stood from his bed and made his way to the door, tiptoeing around Ray at the end of the bed and then pausing when he noticed that their blond friend wasn’t with them. He rubbed at his eyes a bit to make sure he wasn’t just tired, but after confirming that Ryan was in fact not there he quickly left the room and patted down the stairs. He checked the living room first, not finding any sign of him, then the kitchen where he stopped for a drink before heading back towards the staircase through the dining room, jumping when he noticed his friend sitting there with his own glass.

“What are you doing?” the Brit asked, causing the other to jump.

“Sitting, thinking. How’re you feeling?” he didn’t beat around the bush, pulled the chair out next to him and gestured for the other to sit down.

“Hung over and heartbroken, probably not a good combo,” he said smiling weakly.

“Look Gav, I’m really sorry, I wasn’t thinking, I just swung and-“

“You’re apologizing for hitting him?” Gavin asked surprised.

“You aren’t mad that I hit him?” Ryan countered.

“No way! I’m eternally grateful actually,” he smirked taking a sip of water. “I wouldn’t have had the guts to do it myself, I suppose you and Geoff were the next best thing,” he nudged the blond.

“Well alright then,” Ryan whispered, smirk making its way across his face.

“But really,” Gavin started, “thank you,”

“Anytime man,” Ryan answered, hooking an arm around Gavin’s neck and pulling him into his side. “But,” the blond said suddenly, “don’t you have a class with Caleb? Are you gonna be okay?” he asked.

“Michael’s in there,” was all Gavin had to say and Ryan was nodding along.

“I’m glad you’ve got him,” Ryan smiled then.

“I’m glad I’ve got all of you,” Gavin said.

“Yeah, we love you too,” he chuckled pulling him in and messing his hair up even more.

Gavin slapped his hands away and attempted to pat it down where it had flown up but gave up. “What are you really doing up?” he asked knowingly.

“I think Ray’s scared of me,” he admitted.

“For hitting Caleb?” Gavin asked, when Ryan nodded he sighed. “I don’t think he’s scared of you, maybe a little spooked, but Rye, Ray thinks the world of you, this won’t stop him from being your friend or whatever it is you two are doing,” he shrugged.

“You really think so?” Ryan asked skittish.

“Oh yeah, hell maybe he’s so turned on by your strength that he needs time to cool off,” Ryan hummed to show he was listening, big grin on his face, and took another sip from his cup. They sat comfortably for a while, just staring at the walls lost in their own thoughts.

“You know,” Ryan said suddenly, “Michael almost kicked the shit outta him too,” he chucked shaking his head.

“Oh, really?” Gavin asked interested.

“Yeah, he was gonna throw down, but in the end he realized you needed him more,” he said knowingly.

“Why are you telling me this?” Gavin asked then, head tilting.

“No reason,” the other shrugged, just as they heard a door open and shut, and gentle steps on the staircase.

“What are you assholes still doing up?” Geoff asked, rubbing at his eyes and ending with a big yawn.

“Couldn’t sleep,” Ryan shrugged.

“Needed a drink,” Gavin held up his glass.

“It’s almost three am dumbasses, and I woke everyone up on accident so you guys gotta come back with me,” he told them innocently.

“Dick,” Ryan muttered, pushing his chair out and standing up. Gavin stood with him and stretched before reaching out and beckoning Geoff closer which the other did immediately.

“What?” he asked, but Gavin didn’t respond, just threw his arms around him and squeezed him tight.

“Thank you,” he said before turning back and pulling Ryan in as well.

“No problem kid,” Geoff said ruffling his hair up causing the smaller boy to squawk and run for the stairs. Ryan and Geoff just rolled their eyes as they walked quietly behind him.

When they got back to his room they entered to find Jack and Michael knocked out cold and Ray sitting up dazed. He looked up and smiled when they walked in, looking first at Gavin to make sure he was okay and smiling wider when the other boy gave him a thumbs up, he then turned to Ryan and held his hand out, making a grabbing motion at him and not stopping until the other boy was standing in front of him.

“What?” he asked a little startled.

“Come back to bed,” was all the other offered which Ryan happily obliged to. He laid down and let Ray be the one to decide where they’d go and how they’d fit, smiling when the small boy backed himself up and reached back, patting along his legs and torso until he found Ryan’s hand and pulled it securely over himself.

Geoff moved back to his spot on the floor with Jack and mumbled a goodnight, pulling his blanket up and over himself becoming a cocoon. Gavin sat down next to Michael and sent Ryan a knowing look that caused the other to stick his tongue out before grinning at him and winking. The Brit shook his head before laying back down and burrowing his head on Michael’s chest, shutting his eyes and going back to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to hear from some of you soon!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry it took so long for this one, I've had two final projects and some stupid standardized testing to focus on the last two weeks so writing has been quite a challenge. This chapter is really just a filler, but I can tell you now that the next chapter probably has something a lot of you have been waiting for and I'm super excited to write it. So until then, Enjoy!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

The weeks leading up to Christmas break were pretty eventful for the six best friends. After the party the six had stayed together for the rest of the weekend and had spent most days after school together to make sure that Gavin was okay. In the end he was the one who snapped, telling them that it didn’t matter, and that they needed to let him breathe.

Biology had been awkward to say the least. Almost everyone in their class had been at the party and was aware of what had gone down. So when Gavin walked into class on Monday he was met with the curious stares of random students he had never spoken to. They looked back and forth between he and Caleb waiting for one of them to make a move, when neither did after five minutes, everyone went back to their conversations or phones until class started. When Michael walked in he was quick to move to Gavin’s side, sliding in next to him and flinging one arm casually behind his chair.

The rest of the class was spent by Gavin taking furious notes and ignoring everyone else, while Michael glared at anyone that even looked their way. After the bell rang Michael led Gavin out of the class by his wrist and pulled him to the first floor and over to where his locker, and Kara, were. However, when they started hugging and kissing wildly Gavin said goodbye and went out to where the busses, and the rest of their friends, were waiting.

He didn’t make it that far though, because as he turned a corner and was making his break for the double doors that would lead him to freedom a hand wrapped around his elbow and pulled him to a halt. He dropped the binder had been holding and when he looked up from it lying on the floor, papers scattered around it, he was met with the sight of none other than his ex-boyfriend. His eye was swollen and bruised, lip still puffy and a little red, but other than that he looked the same.

“What?” he snapped immediately, pulling his arm free and wrapping both around himself.

“I just wanna talk,” he held his hands up in defense, trying to look innocent.

“Well I don’t,” the Brit shrugged, dropping down to pick up his things.

“Gav, come on,” Caleb tried, reaching down to help him and flinching back when Gavin actually slapped his hands away.

“Don’t,” he growled, eyes holding a new fire.

“It was a mistake. I was drunk off my ass, he means-“

“Nothing?” Gavin cut him off. “It doesn’t matter if you were drunk or it ‘meant nothing’ it still happened because you’re a prick and I never wanna speak to you again,”

“You can’t mean that,” Caleb winced, reaching out to touch Gavin’s shoulder, but he thought better of it and let it fall back to his side.

“Yes he does,” an angry voice said, and they both turned to see Ryan standing just a few feet from them, most of the school was already gone, on their busses and on their way home, but because Gavin had taken too long and his bus left without them Ryan decided to go searching.

“Shit man. You’re always around at the wrong times,” Caleb laughed awkwardly.

“You mean, right times,” the blond corrected. “Gav, you ready to go?”

“Yeah,” he stood up and made his way over to the blond, smirking when the taller boy slung his arm around his shoulders and lead him towards the door.

“Oh and Caleb,” Ryan said turning back.

“Yeah?” he asked wearily.

“I’m not afraid to beat the shit out of you again,” he grinned. Caleb swallowed and nodded his head once, eyes wide and scared. They turned back and made their way outside where the other four boys were standing and waiting for them.

“Finally!” Geoff shouted when they walked down the steps.

“What took so long?” Michael asked, looking worriedly at Gavin.

“Ran into some… trouble,” Ryan told them, letting go of Gavin and digging his cell phone out of his pocket. “My house then?” he asked looking at the other boys.

“What kind of trouble?” Geoff asked, eyes narrowing.

“The Caleb kind,” Ryan shrugged, “my house?” he asked again and when Geoff nodded he was calling his mom and stepping away from the group.

“You good?” Ray asked Gavin, smiling when he nodded. “Good,”

~~~

Three days later was Kara’s last day at school, so Lindsay baked her a cake that they ate at the lunch table while others looked on jealously.

Michael stayed glued to her side, arm wrapped tightly around her while they ate, smiling and laughing with everyone else, but Gavin noticed that Michael’s eyes didn’t meet the happiness his mouth gave off.

When the final bell rang Michael bid his friends a goodbye and let Kara take his hand, leading them both towards her bus. They sat quietly, both their hands resting in his lap, his thumb rubbing over the back of her hand repeatedly.

“So this is it,” she said when the bus pulled up to her house. He nodded and followed her off, letting her guide him in and up the stairs.

“How do you wanna spend our last day together?” he asked her when they sat on her bed.

“Let’s just watch a movie and cuddle,” she told him, making her way across and grabbing the first movie she could find. “I hope you don’t mind kid’s movies, my little brother was watching this in here last week,” she smirked holding up _Finding Nemo._

“I don’t mind,” he smiled patting the spot next to him. She nodded and set up the DVD player, pressing play and settling in next to him.

The first twenty minutes of the movie were spent in silence, they watched as Nemo and his father went to school for the first day, they watched as he attempted to make friends and then they watched as he was brutally ripped away.

“This movie was not kid friendly,” she said suddenly.

“Nope, but I feel really bad for Marlin,” Michael said. “First his wife and all but one of his kids are killed, and then the living one is kidnapped, this movie is bullshit,” he said dramatically, throwing a pillow lightly at her TV.

“Hey, be nice,” she giggled swatting him on the chest. He didn’t say anymore, but he didn’t need to, they both knew that goodbye was coming, and while they both hated it they had to accept it.

It wasn’t like they were madly in love or planning on having kids and getting married, they had been together for a couple months, and while they were a great couple of months, Michael knew that they would’ve broken up sooner or later anyway. He liked her, he really did, she had a beautiful smile and she was the nicest girl he had met, but she didn’t really _get_ him. She didn’t know when he was uncomfortable or when he just wanted to take a nap. She didn’t know that yelling at video games was how he got his frustrations out, that he hated music that played too loudly if he wasn’t at a party, because if you weren’t at a party and no one else was there then why listen so loudly when you could just wear headphones?

So while he was bummed, he also felt a strange sense of… relief. It saved them from having some big fight later that would cause them to never speak to each other again, so really it was kind of a win situation.

A half hour later the movie was completely forgotten as the two rolled around, mouths attached, on her bed. They didn’t wanna make the whole day just about lust, they wanted it to be nice and meaningful and a sweet goodbye, but when they both thought about it they realized that they would both be going from kissing and cuddling everyday to nothing and yeah, it would be a pretty easy adjustment, they didn’t really want to have to make it. So they figured, might as well make the most of it.

“I’m gonna miss this,” Kara sighed, as he made his way down her neck.

“I’m gonna miss you,” he said pulling back. She nodded at him and placed her hand on his cheek gently.

“At least you’ll have Gavin to take care of you,” she chuckled, feeling his cheeks heat up at the mention of his best friend.

“Gavin couldn’t take care of a fish,” he told her.

“Good thing you aren’t a fish then,” she told him, pulling him back to her and stealing any other words he had.

They stayed like that for over two hours, before finally Kara pushed him off and shut off the TV after they had heard the Nemo menu song at least twenty times. She went to resume her spot under him when she heard a door open and shut downstairs and her mother calling up to her.

“Looks like it’s that time,” she said sadly, taking the redheads hand and leading him downstairs to where her mother and father were standing.

“Oh, hi Michael,” her mother smiled at him.

“Hi,” he said lamely.

“Michael was just leaving,” Kara announced, walking outside with him right behind her.

“So,” he dug his hands in his pockets.

“So,” she echoed.

“I guess this is goodbye,” he mumbled.

“Yeah,”

“What time do you leave?” Michael asked.

“Tomorrow morning,” she told him, he nodded and sighed once more.

“I’ll let you go and do all the last minute packing,” he said, opening his arms and hugging her tightly.

“Call me sometime?” she asked when she stepped back.

“Definitely,” but they both knew that neither of them would actually make the effort.

They kissed one more time before she was pulling away and running inside, shutting the door quietly behind her. Michael wasn’t expecting tears, or heartbreak or anything like that, so he was a little shocked that he felt an odd pang in his chest when he watched her go. He didn’t dwell on it too long though, pulling out his phone and texting Gavin.

_Can I come over?_

When the Brit responded with _Yes_ the redhead set off in the direction of his house. He walked slowly, letting the warm Austin air brush over him. He kept his hands in his pockets and let his head hang as he walked; only looking up when he had to cross the street.

By the time he had made it to Gavin’s house the sun was setting and he was exhausted. He texted his mother that he’d be staying the night there and then shut it off when she answered that it was okay.

Gavin’s parents weren’t home which Michael was grateful for, because it meant they could just go upstairs without having to make awkward small talk and just sleep.

Gavin didn’t say anything at first, because he knew where Michael had come from, in fact he had expected him to come over after. He just pulled him into the house and went upstairs; letting him take off his shoes and put his coat in the closet himself, when he made it upstairs he was glad to see that Gavin already had his game cube on and Zelda in and ready to go. It was Michael’s all time favorite game and Gavin knew that, so to have him doing that for him meant a lot.

Gavin handed the controller to him wordlessly and sat back as he loaded up his saved file. He took a seat next to him and started playing; only speaking when he was asking Gavin to turn the light off so he could see the screen better without the glare. Gavin obliged instantly and lay on his stomach, head resting on Michael’s thigh.

When his eyes were tired and bloodshot he finally saved the game and shut it off, throwing himself down on the mattress next to Gavin and throwing his arm over his eyes. Gavin crawled out of bed and grabbed a pair of shorts for each of them and two shirts, throwing a set to Michael and taking his own out into the bathroom. He changed quickly and waited patiently outside of his bedroom door until Michael gave the okay. He walked in to find him back on bed, this time though he was actually laying on a pillow, and under the blankets, pushed way to the side where he always slept so Gavin could take his spot on the right.

He climbed in and pulled the blankets up over him, snuggling into the covers, silently gasping when Michael swept him into his arms immediately.

“Are you sad?” Gavin broke the silence.

“Eh, kinda bummed but I’ll be fine in the morning,” he shrugged. The Brit nodded and turned so he was facing him.

“Single together again,” he chuckled lightly.

“As always,” Michael smiled softly.

They lay silently for a while, but they knew that neither of them had actually fallen asleep. They stayed silent, eyes closed and breathing soft.

“I don’t think she was right for me anyway,” Michael whispered, Gavin lifted his head up to look down at him, but he kept his eyes shut, the only sign that he was paying attention was the way he squeezed Gavin’s waist slightly.

“Why not? You seemed happy,” he asked.

“Eh,” he shrugged again, eyes still closed. “She was good to me, but she didn’t know me,” he said.

“What do you mean?”

“She was a good kisser, and dancer, and person, but she doesn’t know my favorite color, or my middle name, favorite game. She doesn’t know if I prefer cats or dogs, what color eyes I prefer on the opposite sex. She doesn’t _know_ me,” he rambled.

“Blue, Vincent, Wind Waker, dogs, green,” Gavin said in one breath, grinning when the redhead smiled.

“See, you know me,” he whispered. “I wanna be with someone like you boi,” he told him, not noticing the way Gavin’s breath hitched and his body shivered.

“Maybe one day scientists can make a clone of me, a female me,” he swallowed nervously.

“That would be perfect,” Michael smiled at the thought, pulling the other closer.

“Hey, here’s a happy thought, you don’t have to buy another gift at Christmas,” Gavin said cheerily.

“Yeah, just you and whoever I get for secret Santa,” he agreed.

Every Christmas they had a tradition of doing Secret Santa’s they’d spend Christmas with their families and the day after they’d all go to Geoff’s house and watch the Grinch after exchanging gifts, and then they’d drink hot chocolate and make their New Year’s resolutions, even though they never did any of them. Then on New Year’s night all the boys and their families would go to Jack’s house and the adults would sip champagne and talk about how fast the boys were growing while they sat there embarrassed before they were dismissed to go in the basement and watch TV. And when the ball dropped in New York they’d run upstairs and count down with their families, gagging when their parents kissed and hugged, but they’d still hug their moms and each other while welcoming the year.

“Remember when Jack got you snowman socks in 8th grade?” Gavin asked. “You never wore them,”

“They were ugly as fuck, so I wore them around the house,” the redhead laughed. “Last year Geoff got you that horrible cologne,” he said and laughed harder when Gavin immediately started retching.

“Vomit,” he growled. “Worst scent ever,” he shuddered.

“It was pretty awful,” Michael agreed.

“It was mingin’,” he snapped, gagging again.

They were quiet again, both thinking about their options for secret Santa and planning what gifts they’d buy based on who they got, but when Gavin looked at the clock and saw that it was after two am he decided to actually try sleeping.

“Can we stay home tomorrow?” Michael asked a few minutes later exhausted.

So they did.

~~~

The final week before Christmas break was the dreaded finals week, so the Sunday before all the boys plus Griffon, Lindsay, Meg, Barbara, and Tina, met in Jack’s basement with their textbooks and notepads where they broke off into groups.

Not much studying was actually done.

“So absolutely nothing is going on?” Meg asked Ray for the third time.

“I promise, nothing is going on between Ryan and I,” he told the redhead again.

“Well why not?” Lindsay asked head tilted.

“Because we don’t like each other that way?” he offered, cowering back when both girls grabbed pillows and whacked him on the head.

“You are an idiot,” Meg shook her head.

“I am not! Nothing’s happened so obviously he doesn’t feel the same,” he pointed out.

“Ryan, can you help him, he’s not getting it,” Lindsay called out. The blond looked up from his spot beside Geoff and Griffon and smiled at the dark haired boy.

“What are you doing?” Ray hissed at her, but she simply smirked and moved on to where Gavin, Barbara and Tina were working.

“What aren’t you getting?” Ryan asked as he settled in.

“Just, all of it,” he said lamely, pushing his paper towards the blond. Of course it wasn’t exactly a lie because it was math and he rarely understood that. Ryan smiled and started drawing lines, telling him where to start and how to get from point A to point B.

However, after five minutes on the same problem Ray was about to give up. “C’mon you know this,” Ryan encouraged.

“No I don’t, I have like a C in the class, I think I can just fail this and be okay,” Ray shrugged, avoiding the other boy’s disappointed gaze.

“Not happening,” he said leaning closer, their shoulders were pressed against each other, knees too, and if Ray didn’t understand before then he definitely didn’t now because all he could focus on was Ryan’s heat, and the smell of his cologne.

“He needs motivation,” Meg said suddenly, still looking at her algebra notes.

“What kind?” Ryan looked up quickly.

“I don’t know,” she shrugged. “Make a bet, make it interesting,”

“That could work,” Ryan hummed, Ray looked helplessly at Meg, but when she looked up at him smugly he glared at her.

“If you pass…” Ryan began, “here, get at least a B and I’ll take you out to dinner, wherever you want,” he offered.

“And if I fail?” Ray blushed.

“You take me out,” the blond shrugged.

“Perfect,” Meg cheered.

“Deal?” Ryan asked, reaching his hand out.

“Sure,” the smaller boy agreed, reaching out and shaking his hand twice.

“Well,” Meg started, flipping her hair, “I’ll leave you two to it, I’m gonna go work on some history with the boys,” she announced, making her way to where Michael and Jack were working.

“Okay, so…” Ryan started.

Across the room Gavin was dealing with almost the same thing from the girls.

“I’m just saying, you’re both single now, you should bang,” Tina told him again.

“He’s straight,” was all the Brit said, pulling the biology book in front of him closer.

“Bullshit,” Barbara rolled her eyes. “He’d definitely date you,” she said. When he blushed she narrowed her eyes, “what are you hiding?” she teased.

“He told me last week he wished he could find a girl just like me,” he whispered, looking away when Tina made a squealing noise and Lindsay giggled.

“Yeah totally straight,” Barbara snarked.

“Girl, Barb, girl. Keyword,” he rolled his eyes.

“Shhh, he’s coming,” Tina hissed, pretending to read.

“Hey ladies, boi,” Michael greeted, grin on his face as he sat down next to his best friend.

“Hey,” Gavin didn’t look up from his book, and his voice was off, things Michael noticed in seconds.

“You okay?” he whispered, leaning closer, chin resting on Gav’s shoulder. Barbara and Tina were snickering across from them, pointedly looking anywhere but directly at them. Lindsay however had no problem staring at the two, smirking at the concerned look on Michael’s face and blush on Gavin’s.

“’m fine,” he mumbled, still not looking at the redhead.

“No you aren’t,” Michael stated wrapping his hand around Gavin’s wrist and trying to tug him away.

“Michael,” Gavin warned.

“C’mon,” he urged lifting him up and heading for the staircase.

“Hey, hold on, we gotta finish studying,” Tina yelled after them.

“We’ll be right back,” Michael called over his shoulder.

“Nope, get back down here,” Geoff commanded, pointing back at the couch.

“One second,” Michael told him, dragging the protesting Brit along.

“You’ll both fail!” Griffon yelled, and then Gavin was breaking free and running back down the steps to his text book.

“And we have to pick secret Santa’s after the girls leave,” Jack said, Michael sighed and trudged back over to his seat next to Gavin and Lindsay.

They were productive for the next hour or so before Griffon announced that her mom was on the way and the girls were packing up. Meg kissed Gavin on the cheek as goodbye and led the way upstairs, followed by Barbara and Tina, Lindsay stayed back to hug Michael and Gavin before making her way up and Griffon gave Geoff a sweet kiss on her way.

“Alright boy’s night is on,” Jack said once the door was closed behind them.

“Secret Santa’s before anything else,” Geoff announced, tearing a piece of notebook paper from his binder and ripping it into six small squares. He wrote each of their names down and snatched the beanie from Michael’s head, ignoring his startled ‘hey!’ and shuffling them around a bit. He passed it around then and let each boy take a strip of paper from the hat, watching some of them grin and others look horribly lost.

“Did anyone get themselves?” Ryan asked before they continued, when they all shook their heads they threw the papers out and sat back on the couch, some of them making little notes in their phones so they wouldn’t forget, some already planning things they could get.

They tried to study for a couple more hours just to ensure their readiness, but they were all distracted, Geoff was too busy texting Griffon to worry about the value of _X_ , Ryan had almost completely given up on teaching Ray the same problem for the third time, but really it wasn’t Ray’s fault that Ryan looked so good, especially when he was so close, Jack couldn’t take Team Nice Dynamite, bickering and arguing over every answer even though one of them always had it right, the other still argued even after confirming it was correct.

In the end they all ended up walking away from the textbooks and papers, curling up around each other while Jack looked for a good movie for them to watch.

“Dude, Titanic!” Ray yelled from his spot beside Ryan.

“No way,” Geoff mumbled, putting his legs up on the table.

“I agree with Ray,” Gavin raised his hand.

“It’ll be fun, we can laugh as Leo drowns,” Michael chimed.

“That movie is fucking bullshit! There was totally enough room for both of them,” Geoff yelled.

“So you have seen it?” Ray laughed.

“Griffon made me watch it a couple months ago,” he grumbled. “Fucking bullshit, I’d be pissed if someone did that to me. I’d haunt their ass so quick,” he ranted.

“We’re watching it,” Jack concluded, pulling the case off the shelf and popping it into the DVD player.

They made it about half way through the movie before they were fighting.

“Jack should’ve been the one to live,” Geoff muttered.

“Bullshit, she’s hot,” Gavin argued.

“I have to agree with Geoff on this one,” Ray shrugged, “what’s your obsession with redheads?” he asked after looking pointedly at Michael and laughing when Gavin’s face flushed.

“Nothing,” he mumbled crossing his arms over his chest.

“I take Gavin’s side,” Michael said after, bringing the conversation back to attention.

“Of course you do,” Jack rolled his eyes.

“I do too!” Ryan raised his hand, smiling sheepishly when Ray glared. The dark haired boy smiled back at him and rolled his eyes right after.

“Then I’m with Geoff and Ray,” Jack nodded.

“Now what?” Gavin asked, looking around. They each looked around at each other and shrugged before Ray smirked at the Brit. “What?” he snapped at him causing him to grin wider.

“Dog pile on Gavin!” he shouted, charging for the small boy and tackling him. Michael was closest and second to join, jumping on both of them and helping Ray keep him down when he kicked and shoved. Soon Geoff, Ryan and Jack were jumping into the mix, laughing at the squawks and squeaks the sandy haired boy was letting out under them all. In the end it was Ryan that took pity on the boy, so he wrapped his arms around the first person he could get a secure hold on and rolled them both off the top of the pile.

“What the fuck!” Geoff yelled when they flopped back, wrestling the broader boy and sighing in defeat when he couldn’t budge him. They laughed at each other for a second before hearing a thud and turning to see Jack and Michael doing the same thing, except Michael managed to get the upper hand on the ginger haired man, tickling his ribs and smirking at the cries the other man was letting out.

“Dick!” he managed between choked laughter.

“Bitch,” Michael smirked.

“You guys are rubbish,” Gavin whined from where he was still held down by Ray.

“But you love us,” Geoff told him, rolling out from under Ryan and reaching a hand out to help the other up.

The Brit only huffed, shoving at Ray’s shoulder until he stood up and let him breathe. They crawled back into their seats and watched anxiously as the ship struck the ice and started to sink, watching as the characters ran around screaming and trying to make it to safety. When Jack and Rose were out in the water, promising they’d never let go, quiet sniffles could be heard from the couch and when they turned around it was to see Geoff, eyes wet and nose red.

“Wow,”

“Holy shit,”

“What a loser,”

“Fuck off!” he snapped, throwing the pillow in his arms at Michael, who was laughing the hardest.

“Wow dude,” he gasped, face red.

“I see why you were so against this now,” Ryan grinned.

“I’m sleeping upstairs,” he declared, grabbing his blanket and heading for the stairs, moving faster the harder they laughed.

He slept in the living room, enjoying the peace and quiet for a few hours, but around two in the morning when the others were ready for the bed he woke up to them drowsily dragging their stuff into the room, setting up camp around him and curling up. While he was mad that they had made fun of him, he couldn’t help but smile when they all came to him like that; it was just like when they were in middle school. When five of them managed to piss one off to the point that the one would leave, they’d sit around for a bit before deciding to apologize, but they weren’t about sappy apologies and shit, so they’d just show up and act normal, and it would be.

“Goodnight,” he mumbled, smile still in place when he turned to face the wall.

~~~

They survived finals week. They worked long and hard, essays and tests, power-points and speeches, it was rough, but they made it. Ray was even proud to come out of his math final with a big red _B+_ on the front, waving it in front of Ryan’s face with a big grin.

“You’re taking me to taco bell,” he announced.

“Deal,” the blond laughed, patting him on the back and heading for the buses.

“Winter break starts now bitches!” Geoff threw his hands in the air, shouting for joy and pulling Griffon in for a sweet kiss while they waited.

They spent the first night of winter break at Michael’s house as usual and after that it was really just a relax and hang out with whoever whenever.

They didn’t really see each other all together again until the day after Christmas when they exchanged gifts and had boys night at Geoff’s house. So each of them took the next few days to do their last minute shopping and have some quality family time without having to worry about school work or friends.

The first Sunday of break, two days before Christmas, Ryan called Ray and told him to meet him at the mall at five o’clock, Ray accepted and hung up knowing that Ryan was taking him for dinner and they’d probably just spend the night together as well.

By four, Ray was pacing in his room, running his hands through his hair and trying to find a decent outfit. In the end he called the one person that knew more about Ryan than any of them, Jack.

“It feels like a date,” was the first thing he said when the other answered.

“Cause it is,” Jack told him as if he were dumb.

“But it’s not!” he argued, “it was just a bet and I won,”

“Hate to break it to you, but Ryan would’ve taken you out whether you lost or won,” Ray could hear Jack’s smile through the phone.

“No, I would’ve had to take him out,” Ray said.

“Nope, he would’ve paid anyway and said it was a ‘better luck next time’ thing,”

“Oh,” the dark haired boy muttered.

“Yeah,” Jack laughed.

Ray hung up at four-thirty, rushing to throw on jeans and a t-shirt, running to beg his mom to take him to the mall. She rolled her eyes but told him to get in, speeding only a little so he was there in time. The parking lot was packed, full of last minute shoppers for the holidays, but Ryan was standing outside phone held tightly in his hand, grinning when Ray’s mom pulled up and he stepped out.

“See ya,” he called, slamming the door shut and greeting the blond.

“Probably not the best day for this,” Ryan smirked.

“Yeah, probably,” the other agreed.

“Oh well, I promised. Shall we?” Ryan asked gesturing to the door.

“We shall,” Ray declared, walking through the doors and entering the packed food court.

“Here,” Ryan said quickly, reaching down to link their hands together. Ray blushed and looked down, letting the other lead him through the crowd.

Taco Bell was only forty feet from the door, but by the time they got there they had witnessed five crying children, three fights between adults and mall security, and two teenage couples making out disgustingly.

“Holiday spirits seem high,” Ray muttered.

“Well ya know, mistletoe and all that,” Ryan waved, stepping up to the register to order.

Finding a table was harder than they expected, they ended up all the way back at the entrance, sitting by a window and trying to ignore the chaos around them. Most of the meal was eaten in silence, since it wasn’t like they’d be able to hear each other over the mass of bodies surrounding them.

“Best superhero go!” Ryan yelled snapping his fingers.

“Captain America,” Ray replied.

“No way in hell,” Ryan chuckled.

“Oh yeah? Who?”

“Thor,” Ryan said triumphantly.

“Oh come on, that’s the most common answer anyone could give. Be creative!” Ray told him crossing his arms.

“Creative? He’s the God of fucking thunder that’s creative, and that’s common? Cap is way more common than Thor, he’d kick Captain America’s ass,” he challenged.

“Shield,”

“So what? Take the shield away and it’s gone, Thor loses his hammer and just holds his hand out and whoosh there it is,” Ryan countered.

“How about you suck a dick,” Ray told him.

“Present me with one,” Ryan deadpanned, trying hard to contain his smirk when Ray’s cheeks lit up.

“Help me shop for my secret Santa,” Ray blurted, scraping his chair back and grabbing his tray.

“Who do you have?” Ryan asked, following closely behind him.

“Jack,” he threw over his shoulder, making his way to the nearest clothing store and ducking into it.

They shuffled awkwardly by a mother, shouting at the store manager about the color of the shirt she was holding, and her crying children, looking awkwardly at each other and then apologetically at the store manager. Again Ryan reached out to hold Ray’s hand, tugging him along to the ‘Men’s’ section of the store.

“We can shop for Michael while we’re here too then,” Ryan told him, picking up a purple t-shirt with the words _People Like Grapes_ written across it. “What does this even mean?” he showed Ray.

“Dude I don’t know, but I think Michael and Gavin already have that shirt,” he said turning back to the rack in front of him.

“Why did you wait until now to go shopping?” Ryan whined.

“Didn’t you just say you’re looking for Michael’s gift too?” Ray raised a brow.

“Shut up,” the blond mumbled, going across the way to the kids section.

They searched separately, occasionally holding up an item of clothing that the other would give a yes or no too before they’d add it to the maybe pile.

“Do you think Michael would like this?” Ryan asked, Ray turned around and looked at it, laughing and nodding.

“It’s perfect,” Ryan nodded and crossed back over to his friend helping him find the perfect shirt for Jack. “This one?” Ray asked, pulling it off the shelf and unfolding it.

“He’d like it,” the blond nodded. It was settled then, they grabbed their items and made their way back to the front, stopping when Ryan grabbed Ray’s wrist and pulled him to a stop. “Those are perfect to go with this,” he gestured to the item in his hand and smiled when Ray laughed again.

“Yeah, plus now he can be more prepared for Halloween,” Ray grinned.

“See, I’m saving him from last minute freak outs,” Ryan said proudly.

It was nearing seven o’clock when they finally made it through checkout and walked out of the mall, hands clasped tightly between them. They had agreed while inside that they’d walk back to Ray’s house and spend the night since the weather was nice and it wasn’t that far.

“Hold this for a second,” Ray said holding out his bag, adjusting his shirt and glasses before reaching back for the bag.

“I got it,” Ryan told him, grabbing his hand and continuing on their walk.

“You sure?” Ray asked him, face red, Ryan hummed and they left it at that. “Who do you think got you this year?” he asked, closing his eyes and trusting Ryan to guide him.

“With my luck it’ll be Gavin and he’ll have gotten me some stupid contraption that no American has ever actually heard of,” Ryan ranted, but he was smiling so Ray knew he’d be just as happy with that gift as he would be with any other gift.

“I probably got Geoff; he’s been hinting and asking me all sorts of weird questions lately about things I’d like. Not stealthy at all,” Ray chuckled. Ryan hummed in agreement and they fell into silence, hands swinging easily between them, shoulders bumping with each step.

It was dark when they made it to Ray’s house stepping up on the porch, but before Ray opened the door Ryan stopped. Ray turned to look at him, question on the tip of his tongue, but he froze when he saw the intense way Ryan was looking at him. He closed his mouth and swallowed loudly, looking at Ryan’s eyes and then mouth unsure of what to do. He thought he imagined it when Ryan looked at his mouth too, but then the blond was leaning towards him, eye lids drooping shut and Ray was sure he would burst into flames. Before anything could happen though the front door opened and Ray’s mom was speaking.

“I thought I heard you two, what are you waiting outside for the doors unlocked,” she told them motioning them in. They let go of each other’s hands and stepped inside, neither of them speaking or looking at each other. “Oh and Ray, tomorrow I have to do some last minute shopping for Grandma and Grandpa, would you mind coming with me, you’re better at picking gifts than I am,” she rambled. “Ryan, honey you can come too,” she smiled at him. They both nodded at her, ignoring her confused glances and calling out goodnights, rushing up the stairs.

“I’m gonna take a shower,” Ray told him when they were in the room, moving around to find a pair of pajama’s and towel, throwing another set to his friend and stepping out of the room. When he shut the bathroom door behind him he leaned against it, taking deep breaths to calm his racing heart.

Part of him was hoping that they’d talk about it, and part of him was terrified that if they did it would all go horribly wrong. But there was no doubt; Ryan was going to kiss him.

When he got back into his bedroom after, Ryan was already in bed, sound asleep and while Ray was grateful, he was also a little disappointed. He crawled into bed next to him and shut the light off, curling up on his side and facing away from Ryan.

What he didn’t know was that Ryan was awake and pretending, too afraid to face him after the ‘almost kiss.’ But if he waited until Ray was asleep before wrapping his arms around him and holding him just a little tighter than usual, well, no one had to know that.

~~~

“Hurry up you dick, we’ve all been waiting,” Geoff greeted when he opened the door.

“Sorry, mom had to go to some party and took forever to get ready,” Gavin apologized, gift in his hands.

“Yeah yeah,” the other grumbled, walking into the living room where the others were all lounging around in their pj’s.

This was their tradition, every year on the day after Christmas they’d meet at Geoff’s house in their pj’s and exchange gifts, they’d watch shitty Christmas movies and have hot chocolate and ice cream and just have an all around good time.

“Gavvy!” Michael grinned when the Brit walked in.

“Hey boi,” he yelled jumping on the couch next to him. They put all the gifts on the coffee table and mixed them all up. The only rule for their secret Santa gifts were that they all had to use black wrapping paper so it wouldn’t be obvious about who got who what.

“Shall we start?” Geoff asked then, receiving nods around the room. He gave each of them their gifts and let them go in the usual order of oldest to youngest.

Geoff got mustache wax, causing all of them to bust up laughing since they knew he had been trying to grow one for months now. “You guys are dicks,” he grumbled putting the gift back on the table, arms crossed.

“You’re welcome,” Jack laughed, punching him in the shoulder when he stuck his tongue out. “You’ll get there one day,” he assured.

“You were my secret Santa?” Geoff glared.

“Duh,” the ginger haired boy said.

“Whatever, Ryan your turn,”

The blonde chuckled as he unwrapped his, laughing at the festive socks and boxers that he had. “I’m only wearing them around Christmas,” was the only thing he said.

“Aww come on, I bought those with love,” Michael whined, leaning forward to smile at the other.

“They’re great, but I don’t wanna be seen in them ever,” he told him honestly.

“Let Ray have em then, he’s always at your house anyway,” the redhead said, smirking when the Puerto Rican blushed.

“Fine, here,” he said tossing the box to Ray. He put them on the floor and shrugged at Michael who mouthed _I knew he’d do that_ and winked.

“My turn,” Jack grinned, pulling his box onto his lap and opening it to find a blue t-shirt with the words _I’m not fat, I’m fluffy_ written across it. He laughed and nodded, “Gabriel is the best,”

“Yeah he is,” Geoff agreed.

“Who was it?” he asked then looking at Gavin.

“Nope,” the Brit held his hands up in defense.

“Me,” Ray waved at him.

“Thanks man,” he chuckled. He nodded and turned his attention to Michael.

“This better not be stupid,” he warned opening his to reveal a brown hat with bear ears, and bear of brown paw gloves underneath. “Oh shit, I can be Banjo,” he said excitingly, pulling them on.

“Halloween next year,” Ryan said casually.

“We should all be our skins next year,” Jack suggested receiving cheers all around.

“Thank god,” Geoff mumbled, none of them paid attention to it though.

“Who?” Michael asked then looking at Gavin and Ryan.

“Hello,” Ryan said shyly.

“Thanks dude. Can’t believe we got each other,” Michael smiled.

“Gavin,” Geoff said then, turning everyone’s attention to the brunette.

“Okay,” he said. “Oh, this is perfect then,” he muttered, pulling out a green beanie and green gloves.

“Halloween for Gavin, also check,” Ryan chuckled.

“My little creeper,” Michael cooed, putting the hat on Gavin’s head for him.

“Great minds think alike, huh Rye?” Geoff said.

“Thanks Geoffrey,” Gavin stood to give him a hug.

“Alright Ray, you’re turn, and it’s obviously from Gavin,” Michael said pulling the Brit into his side and wrapping an arm around his neck.

“Spoiler alert,” Ray yelled, tearing into his box. “Oh shit. These are fucking sweet,” he said seriously, staring at the glass Tetris pieces in front of him.

“Push the button on the bottom,” Gavin told him. Ray did just that on one of them, eyes widening when it lit up in its color.

“Vav, shit this is really cool,” he placed them gently on the table and went to the hug the Brit.

“I had a little help,” he rubbed the back of his neck, looking quickly at Ryan and then back at Ray, not that he noticed.

“Well they’re really cool,” he said going back to his seat next to Ryan.

“Okay, gay moment over,” Geoff announced, moving to turn the TV on and going into the kitchen.

“You’re just jealous!” Ray called after him.

“Obviously! Have you seen Gavin?” Geoff yelled from the kitchen.

“Sadly I have,” Ray stage whispered to Ryan, ducking when Gavin threw a discarded box at him.

“Someone come help me!” the oldest yelled after, the sounds of glass and metal clanking against each other could be heard, along with the freezer door opening and closing.

“I’ll save you!” Jack yelled, jumping off the couch and charging into the kitchen. The rest watched him go until he was out of sight and they could hear a loud banging sound and ‘Ow fuck Jack!’ from Geoff.

“They’re banging,” Ray concluded, opening the package of socks that Ryan had and pulling on a pair with smiling snowman.

“Yeah, the only straight ones are banging,” Jack laughed coming out with two bowls of ice cream, setting them down on the table in front of Ryan and Ray.

“Um hello?” Michael cleared his throat. They all turned to look at him confused. “I’m straight too,” he deadpanned. Jack took one look at him, arm wrapped tightly around Gavin’s waist, the Brit’s head on the redheads shoulder and Michael’s head on top.

“Sorry,” Jack shook his head, moving back into the kitchen and snickering quietly along with Geoff when they were out of listening range.

“What movie do you wanna watch?” Ryan changed the subject.

“Grinch!” Gavin yelled, throwing his fist in the air.

“Grinch it is,” the blond got up and set up the DVD player, loading the movie up and going into the kitchen to help the other gents.

“We are children,” Ray stated.

“Obviously,” Michael scoffed

“Alright, ice cream is done, cocoa is coming!” Geoff called out, carrying out two more bowls, Jack behind him with the final two.

“Sweet,” Gavin grinned, taking his and Michael’s bowls and setting them on the coffee table.

“Ryan, go up to my room and grab some extra blankets,” Geoff instructed, hands on his hips.

“’Please Ryan, would you be so kind as to go upstairs and get some more blankets?’ ‘Sure Geoff I would love too,’” the blond said monotonously.

“Just go,” he waved him off.

“I’ll help,” Ray offered standing and jogging to catch up with him by the stairs.

“I bet he will,” Geoff mumbled.

“Be nice,” Gavin warned.

“I am!” Geoff yelled. Gavin only hummed, taking a large scoop of ice cream and shoving it in his mouth.

The rest of the night was easy, relaxing and eating various sweets, each of them talking about the best gift they got from their parents, and what the rest of their plans for vacation were. Ryan and Ray already had it planned that they’d be going back to Ryan’s house together for the next two days; Gavin and Michael were doing the same at Michael’s. Geoff was planning on spending some quality time with Griffon and Jack was going to visit his grandparents for a few days.

They didn’t see each other again until New Year’s Eve at Jack’s house, each of them with their families meeting in the back yard while Mr. Pattillo set up fireworks that would be sent off when the clock hit midnight.

While they each had a secret Santa to buy for they also bought gifts for their closest friend, which meant that at random times throughout the evening they would split off into their little groups of two and give each other their gifts whenever the time felt right. Geoff and Jack had already exchanged, continuing their tradition of buying the other pajama bottoms to make things easier, but the rest of them liked to be original every year.

“Ray,” Ryan said seriously, nodding over to the back door.

“Okay,” he told him, looking apologetically at Geoff who he was in a heated discussion about video games with.

Once Ray and Ryan were outside, big boxes in both of their hands, they awkwardly handed them to each other, both their faces bright red.

“You first,” Ryan urged. Ray nodded and opened his gift, pulling out a warm lime green hoodie and a dark purple one as well. “I know your black one has a lot of holes in it so I thought these would be good,” the blond murmured looking at the ground. “Oh! And I’m taking you to dinner next week, my treat,” he said as an afterthought.

“You don’t have to, you just did a few days ago,” Ray told him.

“I want to,” Ryan shrugged, and Ray decided not to argue this time. “My turn?” he asked then, receiving an excited nod from the other.

He opened the box and laughed at what he saw, “Really?” he grinned when he pulled the gold cape out of the box, glittery black _R_ on the back, but he laughed harder when he caught sight of the crown under it. “Why?”

“You’re my hero?” Ray offered sheepishly.

“Why the crown?” he smirked.

“You’re also my prince?” he avoided eye contact.

“Cute,” Ryan deadpanned, Ray looked up at him to make sure he was okay with it and smiled when he noticed the genuine joy in the other’s eyes.

“Yeah well,” Ray rubbed the back of his neck looking back towards the house and seeing their other friends, faces pressed against the backdoor. “We have an audience,” he announced, nodding towards the door. When Ryan turned around they all scattered from their spots, trying to act natural.

“Let’s get back inside,” Ryan suggested, pulling the crown on his head and tying the cape around his neck.

“Fitting,” Ray said thoughtfully.

“It better be, oh and I’m not prince, I’m the king,” he winked strutting back inside.

“Idiot,”

~~~

Around ten o’clock Griffon and her parents had come, thanking Jack’s family for the invitation. As soon as she had stepped through the door Geoff was whisking her away to the basement to exchange gifts, extremely excited about the gifts he got her.

“I hope you love them,” he grinned when she unwrapped the first, a shiny purple bottle of her favorite perfume, she gave him a quick peck before opening the next, a small silver necklace with her name on it in cursive.

“Geoff, they’re perfect,” she gasped, leaning up to give him a longer kiss, smiling against his mouth.

“Okay okay,” she started, stepping back and thrusting her gift at him.

He wasn’t expecting anything big since she was never really all about gifts and things, so when he opened up his box to find two customized Xbox controllers he was pumped.

“One for me and one for you,” she said pointing at both of them. There was a purple and silver one with a _G_ on it for her, and a black and blue one with a _G_ on it for him.

“Babe, these are great,” he said honestly.

“Yeah and now we can co-op better because your controllers suck,” she grinned pecking him on the cheek and taking his hand. “Let’s get back up before our parents start to suspect something,”

“Or we could stay and give them something to suspect,” he pulled her back, hands on her hips and brows raised.

“No way, I barely got them to believe that the hickey you gave me last week was a flat iron burn,” she whacked him on the chest, ignoring his infectious laughter.

When there was only ten minutes left before midnight and everyone began filing outside to start the fireworks, Michael held Gavin back, grabbing his wrist and turning him to face him.

“We’ll be right there,” he told Jack, gesturing for him to shut the door when he was out. He shrugged and did so, but not before sending a wink in their direction.

“Gift time boi,” he explained when the Brit looked at him funny.

“I’ll go grab yours,” he replied, holding up a finger and running up the stairs to their friend’s room. When he returned it was with a medium sized box and a blush on his face.

“Here, you can go first,” he said holding it out to the redhead.

“This is sweet, you even had it customized!” he exclaimed pulling the brown faux leather jacket on, the name _MOGAR_ written across the back.

“Yeah, I thought you’d like it,” Gavin’s blush deepened, swaying on the balls of his feet.

“I like it a lot boi,” he zipped it up, doing some stupid ‘manly’ poses and making the other laugh till he cried.

“My turn,” he said when he caught his breath. Michael held two boxes out to him, one small and square and the other the size of a shoebox, which was probably because it was a pair of shoes inside.

“I figured you could rock those when you go home to visit,” Michael explained when Gavin held up the American flag converse.

“Love em,” the Brit sat on the couch and kicked his ratty black ones off, quickly pulling the others on and lacing them up.

“Open the other one,” the redhead said excitedly. Gavin looked at him suspiciously and unwrapped it, pulling out a little creeper head necklace. “Look, we match!” Michael told him pulling the chain around his neck until the blue diamond was visible; Gavin hadn’t even noticed he was wearing a necklace.

“Aye!” Gavin cheered, unclasping it and re-clasping it around his neck.

“Perfect,” Michael smiled sweetly, just then they heard the wild cheers of everyone outside, and when they turned to look there were fireworks shooting off. They looked on the deck to see Geoff and Griffon kissing sweetly, Ray and Ryan holding hands as they watched the colors light up the sky.

“We missed the new year,” Gavin whispered.

“It just started,” Michael told him, shaking his head and pulling him in for a hug.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, cuteness, happy new year to them.  
> Anyway I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to hear from some of you soon!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Sorry it's been so long, the end of junior year kicked my ass, but now that it's summer I've taken a month off work to just be with my family, friends and writing, so hopefully I'll update more frequently. This chapter and the next one are mainly just fillers to get us to the start of the boy's Junior year of high school which I'm really excited to write and I hope you're excited to read. Anyway, please enjoy.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Sophomore year ended up being very anticlimactic for the most part. Tests, parties, sleep over’s, not much else happened for them. Geoff started focusing more on his grades thanks to Griffon. She’d come over almost every day after school during finals week and help him study for the next day. She sat across the room and said that for every question he got right she’d move her chair a little closer; every time he got one wrong she’d move back. He only got two wrong that day.

“Really Geoff?” she scoffed.

“What?” he asked seriously.

“Abraham Lincoln was not the first president,” she told him monotonously.

“How am I supposed to know that?” he yelled.

“Are you… really?” she laughed, dropping the books in her laps and clapping her hands over her mouth.

“Now you’re just making me feel bad,” he pouted, crossing his arms over his chest and sticking his lip out as far as it would go.

“Good, because that is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say,” she gasped.

“You owe me a kiss,”

“Not until you start getting some of them right,”

“It wasn’t that funny,” he snapped when she continued laughing.

“Okay okay, I’m sorry,” she waved him off, picking the books back up and setting them on her lap. “Okay next question-“

~~~

When they weren’t studying they were either at parties with the others, drinking the night away and sneaking off for some quiet time between games of pong.

“We win again!” he cheered, handing one of their remaining red cups to Blaine and one to Griffon.

“Yeah we do!” Blaine laughed, tapping his cup to his partner’s and chugging it down.

The crowd around them finally settled down, done cheering and the two juniors they beat stumbled away, hands reaching for walls and counters to steady them as they went to the living room.

“Have you ever lost?” Miles asked stepping forward, arm around Arryn.

“Not yet,” Geoff smirked linking his hand with Griffon.

“Impressive,” Miles nodded taking a sip of his drink. The silence stretched between them, awkward and a little tense, while they all went to school together and had had many classes together, they didn’t really talk to each other outside of school.

“Well,” Griffon started, “we are gonna go mingle, see ya later,” she smiled, pulling Geoff towards the staircase.

“Mingle, huh?” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“Shut up,”

It was sort of a tradition for them now, after a few games of pong at every party she’d eventually steal him away for some alone time until another couple stumbled in, or one of their friends texted that it was time to leave.

They crashed into Blaine’s bedroom, door bashing loudly against the wall, landing on the bed in a heap. Geoff’s hands trailed down her sides coming to rest on her bottom while she worked her mouth down his neck.

“I guess we could call this mingling,” he told the ceiling.

“Geoff,”

“What?”

“Stop talking,”

He didn’t need to be told twice.

~~~

Or they’d be on dates, holding each other’s hands in the back of the movie theater, stealing pecks when no one was looking.

“I bet he kills her,” Geoff whispered, ignoring the glare the woman in front of them sent their way.

“Doubt it, she’ll probably be the hero,” Griffon said softly, right in his ear sending a shiver down his spine.

They had suffered an hour of some cheesy horror movie already and had given up on paying any attention to the plot.

“Do you think they’ll bang?” Geoff asked, sticking his tongue out at the woman when she turned and shushed him, chuckling when Griffon slapped his chest.

“Don’t be crude,” she told him rolling her eyes.

“You love it,” he whispered, biting her earlobe and laughing when she swatted at him again. He grinned and leaned forward, puckering his lips and looking at her intensely until she connected her mouth to his.

“I love you,” she stated.

“I love you too,”

The rest of the movie was spent in silence between the two as they watched the main character save the day and cry at the loss of her friends and boyfriend. The woman in front of them seemed to be really into it, gasping when the protagonist finally stabbed the man that had been stalking her, and staring at the screen in awe when the credits began rolling. Geoff looked at her in disbelief, turning to his girlfriend and shaking his head, trying to hide his grin.

“Shut up,” she whispered as they stood and made their way outside.

“Dude,” he deadpanned.

“Geoff, please just wait until we’re outside,” she plead.

“That was pathetic,” he muttered.

“I know,”

When Geoff’s mom finally picked them up they burst into loud giggles and explained the entire movie to his mother in detail, not seeing the way she watched them in the back seat, smiling at their clasped hands and not really paying attention to what they were saying.

~~~

Gavin, Michael and Jack decided to have ‘singles night’ as they called it. Which was just another way of saying they were having a sleep over at one of their houses and the other three weren’t invited since they were all ‘in relationships’. No matter how much Ray and Ryan pouted and said that they were in no way in a relationship the other three wouldn’t budge, telling them that singles night was only for the fully and happily single. Geoff took it like a champ, going out with Griffon on these nights and texting the boy’s updates every twenty minutes about what couple life was like. They responded with pictures of them sitting on opposite sides of the room, pizza boxes thrown carelessly around and video games on the screen.

“Fucking, I don’t care what the movie was about Geoff,” Michael repeated for the third time on the phone. Gavin sniggered from his spot next to him, squawking when Michael slapped his arm.

“Hang up; we have to finish the movie!” Jack yelled, coming in with more drinks and paper plates.

“I gotta go- no, we aren’t banging… yet,” he winked at Gavin. “Bye. Uh huh- yup, have fun with Griffon. Geoff, I don’t wanna know where your hands were, bye,” he pulled the phone from his ear quickly and hit the end button, tossing it on the table next to him and rolling his eyes. “They’re ridiculous,”

“It’s kinda cute,” Jack shrugged.

“Singles night! No talk about cute people and their relationships,” Michael declared, grabbing a coke and hitting play on the remote.

“Is Jack lonely?” Gavin cooed at him, getting flipped off and sticking his tongue out.

“Shut up,” he grumbled, turning his attention back to the movie, but Michael and Gavin knew it couldn’t be easy for him. He and Geoff were best friends, Michael and Gavin were best friends and Ray and Ryan were best friends, and while they were all amazingly close, there were still things that only one or two other people knew. So for Jack to have to be ‘third wheeling’ on singles night must’ve been hard, because Gavin and Michael had their inside jokes and the constant urge to be close to each other, so Jack was still left out.

Gavin went to the bathroom and when he came back he sat farther away on the couch, a silent agreement between he and Michael that they’d tone it down, Jack didn’t notice that they paid a lot more attention to him, and he didn’t notice that they let him win in their games of Halo and COD, that they intentionally put him in the middle in their little pillow fort so he was squished between them, forced to cuddle. He didn’t notice any of it, but they noticed the way he went to bed with a wider smile that night, arm tucked around Gavin and Michael’s face in his neck.

Michael and Gavin were awake long after the ginger haired boy fell asleep; smiling softly at each other and even with Jack between them they let their hands find the others before they too drifted into slumber.

~~~

“I can’t do this anymore,” Jack groaned, throwing himself down face first onto the bed.

“Aww Jack, don’t be like that,” Gavin cooed.

“Ray and Ryan, Geoff and Griffon, you two, it’s exhausting,” he teased, but underneath was just a hint of truth.

“We aren’t dating,” Michael told him.

“No shit,”

“Well I’m just saying,” the redhead held his hands up defensively, not seeing the way Gavin winced at his words, but Jack did.

“Whatever, can you get me a bottle of water?” he asked.

“Why me?”

“It’s your house,” he deadpanned.

“Fine,” Michael grumbled stomping downstairs.

“Come here,” Jack told Gavin softly, opening his arm up and letting the Brit settle into it. “One day,” he said wistfully.

“Yeah,” Gavin agreed, “one day,”

“He’s slow with this stuff, he didn’t even know Kara was interested until we told him, but he was too busy watching you and… him,” he trailed off, not wanting to say Caleb’s name incase Gavin wasn’t over it.

“He was not,”

“He absolutely was,”

“Jack,”

“Gavin,”

“Why would he be watching me and some bloke, when he had a beautiful blond girl right in front of him?”

“I ask myself that question every day,” Jack told him, laughing when he got swatted.

“Seriously though,”

“He was jealous,” the ginger sang.

“He just didn’t wanna be replaced,” Gavin rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, as the man in your life,” Jack squeezed him closer.

“Shut up,” the Brit laughed, and Jack would take it as an achievement.

“Alright assholes, what do you wanna watch first?” Michael returned with three bottles of water in his arms, as well as two party sized bags of chips and three DVD cases tucked under his arm pits. He paused briefly in the doorway when he saw the other two curled up on his bed, Jack’s hand absent mindedly running up and down Gavin’s arm.

“Let’s not watch something that’s part of a series,” Jack said breaking Michael from his thoughts. He had to bite the inside of his cheek not to smirk at the glare Michael sent his way before he blinked and was back to normal.

“Can we watch the Wizard of Oz?” Gavin looked up at him hopefully knowing that it was one of Michael’s least favorite movies, simply because when they were still in elementary school Gavin wanted to watch it every day, so they had watched it every day. Jack was expecting Michael to shut it down, call him a dumbass and pick something else, so he was surprised when Michael just looked down at his best friends, gaze soft, and nodded.

“Sure thing Gavvy,” he told him, turning to go back downstairs and find the film.

“See,” Jack muttered when the door shut.

“See what?”

“He was jealous,” Jack told him.

“No he wasn’t,”

Jack rolled his eyes and moved to grab a water, releasing Gavin to settle on the other side of the bed where Michael would join him.

 _In due time,_ Jack thought when he returned, movie in hand, and settled in next to Gavin, arm immediately going around him, tighter than Jack’s had been.

~~~

Okay, so one eventful thing did happen.

It happened in the last two weeks of school. Ray and Ryan had been spending a lot more time together, going out every night and sleeping over each other’s houses more than anyone. If the guys didn’t know what was really going on, thanks to Ray texting the lads everyday and gushing about what an amazing ‘not date’ it was and Ryan texting the gents neither of them knowing that the other was doing the same, they would’ve thought that they were banging, but they knew it was completely innocent, and it baffled them greatly.

It happened at Jack’s house. They were all in the basement, bored out of their minds having watched the first two Harry Potter movies and not really wanting to start a third in fear that they’d fall asleep well before midnight.

“Twister?” Jack suggested, receiving nods around the room. He went to retrieve it, this time coming with a second mat so that all five of them could play while he read off the commands.

They move furniture around; setting the mats up perfectly aligned, and set about choosing their staring sides.

Within minutes there was chaos, Geoff fell right on his ass after the fifth command, not being able to move his left foot to red because Gavin was in the way.

“Your big nose scared me,” he snapped when they all started laughing.

“You’re a bully,” Gavin cried, planting his foot firmly on red and smirking triumphantly.

“That’s you’re right foot,” Geoff said matter of factly, grinning at the crestfallen look on the Brit’s face.

“Damn,” he stepped off.

“Wow,” Michael laughed, turning to Jack and awaiting the next direction.

“Right hand blue,” he told them, the three did so easily.

It continued like that for three more spins, each of them seeming to move in sync with each other, knowing where space was and where it wasn’t, being able to reposition themselves quickly even with Geoff and Gavin trying to trip them up by yelling random colors and body parts.

“There is no ‘right elbow purple’ Gavin,” Ryan stated, calmly moving his foot in the direction of yellow.

“Fuck!” Ray cried, losing his balance when Michael moved to quickly and knocked both of them over.

“Shit Ray,” Michael groaned, pushing at the boy lying across his midsection.

“Your fault,”

“Whatever, get off,” he whined. Ray pushed himself off and dusted himself off, offering a hand to Michael and pulling him to join him.

“So I win?” Ryan looked at Jack for confirmation.

“Looks like it, round two!” he declared, spinning the pointer for effect.

It startled normal enough, Michael falling about seven spins in, Gavin following soon after, and then it was an intense battle between the remaining three. Geoff tried on every turn to trip one of them, throwing his arm at them so they’d flinch and fall, sweeping his legs across the entire board so they’d have to quickly maneuver around him, and ignoring their distressed cries that he was cheating which Jack laughed. In the end Geoff fell, losing his balance while he took his sweet time sweeping his leg over to red.

“Bitch!” Ray yelled at him, shaking his hips at him which seemed hard considering his position. Ryan was holding himself up on both hands and feet, hunched over slightly above Ray, also on all hands and feet, but instead of facing the mat like Ryan, he had his back facing down, so his front was to the blonde’s.

“Yeah?” Geoff challenged, moving quickly, hooking his hands around the bottom of the mat and tugging it hard, causing them both to topple over, Ryan landing on Ray, fortunately he was able to throw his hands out on the ground to keep from crushing the boy.

Michael and Gavin jumped to their feet quickly moving forward to check if they were okay, but they were both grinning along with Jack who was losing his shit on the couch.

“Are you okay?” Ryan whispered, taking the flushed look on the other’s face as him being hurt.

“I’m good,” he answered.

“Jesus Geoff, that was vicious, you get too competitive and one day you’re gonna kill us all,” Michael laughed.

“Shit, Ray’s fallen twice in like a half hour, make sure he doesn’t have a concussion,” Jack chuckled.

The other four continued to laugh and joke before they realized that the other two had yet to move from their spots, staring at each other but not speaking.

“Guys?” Gavin asked then, watching as they seemed to shake themselves out of it.

“Could you uh...” Ray started, looking down at where they were connected from the waist down, Ryan having let up some of the pressure on his hands when he figured he could safely lay down and not kill the smaller boy. Ryan seemed to notice what he was talking about and quickly started pushing up, blushing when the other’s hands came up to help push him off.

“Now kiss!” Jack called out, causing them both to freeze, Ryan looked up to glare at the other, seeing the challenging look in his eyes, taking in the curious looks from the others before looking down and catching Ray’s eyes.

It had been coming for a long time they figured. There had been a coil wrapped around them for quite some time now, and when they finally looked at each other after Jack’s comment, the coil snapped.

They didn’t say anything, no warning for the others, just leaning into each other and pressing their lips together. It was sweet and innocent enough, but it shocked the hell out of everyone in the room. It seemed to last forever, but when they heard whooping and clapping from their friends the moment was broken and they were pulling away, both red and trying to hide shy smiles on their faces.

“It’s about god damn time!” Geoff yelled jumping on the couch and throwing his arms out with a mighty cheer.

“Holy shit,”

“Bloody hell,”

“I didn’t think that would work,”

“Sorry,” Ryan said sheepishly, standing up and reaching his hand out, helping the other up and keeping their hands linked between them.

“Jesus you two were nearly giving me aneurisms with all this dancing around each other bullshit,” Geoff sighed placing a hand over his heart in relief.

“So like, are you two gonna go bang now or…” Michael gestured to the stairs.

“Michael please,” Ryan scoffed, “we’ll at least wait until you guys are asleep,” he told them, smiling when Ray went red.

“Jesus,” Jack muttered, “please not in my room, or my parents’ room, or my couch, or my kitchen or-“

“So nowhere,” Gavin offered, getting an eager nod from the other.

“You guys are no fun,” Ray rolled his eyes, moving to sit on the couch, tugging Ryan with him.

“I bet that if we had bet on it I would’ve won,” Geoff proclaimed.

“Not a chance,” Gavin argued.

“Oh really? Wanna bet?” Geoff asked, getting in the Brit’s face.

“Hell yeah I do!” Gavin declared. They stared each other down, neither of them noticing the looks they were getting from the others.

“How would that even work?” Michael asked.

“What do you mean?” Gavin turned to him.

“You realize that there is no way to bet on that,” Jack said.

“What?”

“There is literally no way in hell that that can be bet on. They’re already together, you can’t go back in time and bet on today,” he said slowly.

“Shut up,” Geoff grumbled, shoving Gavin back on the couch when he started laughing.

“We’re dumb,” the Brit wheezed.

“Fucking yeah dude,” Michael clapped, clutching his stomach while he laughed.

“You guys are rubbish,” Gavin cried.

“We’re just agreeing with you man,” Ray told him, leaning into Ryan’s arm around him. He decided not to worry about what had just happened figuring they could talk tomorrow.

They spent the rest of the night watching the next Harry Potter movie, making their own predictions of what would happen even though they’d all seen it at least five times. In the end they turned it off to argue about what would’ve made this scene better or that scene better, picking sides and continually moving to different sides of the room trying to persuade the ones remaining in the middle.

“That makes no fucking sense!” Michael yelled, slapping his palm against his face at Gavin’s stupid remark.

“It would’ve if they had done it!” the Brit shrieked, ducking when Geoff threw a pillow at him.

“Shut up!” he yelled, glaring at the five boys separated on different sides of the room. “I’ve come to the conclusion that Michael is right and Gavin, as always, is wrong,”

“Bugger off,” he laughed, crossing his arms and moving to his sleeping bag on the floor. Michael joined him almost instantly, lying down and wrapping one long arm around the small boy, chuckling when he was shrugged off.

“Come on Gav, don’t be mad,” he whispered, reaching out to tickle the Brit when he didn’t say anything.

“Bed time!” Jack cheered, looking at the clock and seeing it was well past two in the morning. He dragged himself to the couch and crashed onto his pillows, curling his arms around them and closing his eyes.

“I swear to god if I hear you two sucking face in the middle of the night I will kill both of you,” Geoff told Ray and Ryan as they settled into their recliner.

“Well shit,” Michael whistled from below them.

“I’m not kidding,” Geoff warned, frowning when Ryan looked him dead in the eyes and pulled Ray in for a sweet kiss, pulling away with a loud ‘muah.’ “You guys suck,”

“Yeah they do!” Gavin cheered, earning groans from everyone.

“Goodnight dicks,” Jack said, voice muffled by his pillow. They chorused their goodnights, getting themselves comfortable and falling asleep.

~~~

They didn’t talk about it until the next day.

The only thought going through Ray’s mind was _we fucked up. It’s awkward and he regrets everything._ They didn’t talk to each other while they packed up, only paying attention to the others and making small talk with them. Geoff noticed and tried to joke around, but they both became very tense, barely talking to the others either. Eventually the eldest had to snatch Ryan’s arm and drag him upstairs claiming he wanted water and didn’t wanna go alone.

“I still don’t see why I had to come and help you get water,” Ryan said when they stepped into the kitchen.

“You don’t, what’s wrong with you and Ray? Did you two talk or something after we all went to bed?”

“No,” the blond sighed, “we probably should have, he’s barely looked at me all morning,”

“Well, go talk to him,”

“Solid advice Geoff,” Ryan rolled his eyes but made his way back downstairs anyway. He was met with the sight of Ray sitting on the couch while the other three stood around him, watching him with varying levels of confusion.

“My mom’s almost here,” he said, breaking the tension. They all looked away from his… boyfriend? Friend? They really should’ve talked as soon as it happened because now Ryan didn’t know where they stood and he knew Ray was skittish as fuck anyway, so waiting was really poor on their part.

The rest of their time at Jack’s house was spent packing up their things and sitting awkwardly next to each other while Michael and Geoff played video games, Jack cheering Geoff on and Gavin cheering on whoever was winning.

They went to Ryan’s house, stiff in the car while his mom asked them about their night and what their plans for the day were. They didn’t hold hands like usual and instead of Ray sitting in the middle seat like usual they were on opposite sides of the car. If Mrs. Haywood noticed she didn’t say anything.

When they arrived they took their time going up the stairs, stopping in the kitchen to grab a drink and say hello to Ryan’s dad, something that threw both of his parents off.

“Everything okay you two?” his mom asked, looking between them and noticing the blush on Ray’s face.

“Yeah, just saying hi,” Ryan avoided her eyes, grabbing Ray’s arm and tugging him towards the stairs.

“Nice seeing you,” Ray called behind him, tripping up the first step and stumbling awkwardly up the rest.

“What was that about?” Mr. Haywood asked.

“They’re probably hiding something,” his wife shrugged.

“Should we go interrogate?”

“They’re smart, it can’t be anything really bad,” she said. He nodded and kissed her on the forehead, turning back to his laptop and continuing his work.

Normally when the two boys walked into a room they were quick to claim spots next to each other so they could watch a movie, play games, or just cuddle. Now Ryan made his way to the bed and Ray to the computer chair in the corner, neither of them reached for a controller or a DVD case.

“So…” the blond said slowly.

“Yeah,” Ray nodded.

 _Fuck, I made it awkward,_ Ryan thought. “Look Ray-“

“It was a mistake, you regret it, I know,” the other sighed, Ryan’s head whipped up in his direction.

“What?”

“That’s what you’re gonna say right? That it made things awkward and you don’t like me like that,” he told him.

“Is… is that what you think?” Ryan asked quietly. Ray froze, looking away from him and trying to think of a way to answer safely. If that wasn’t actually what Ryan was thinking and he said yes then it would definitely make things worse, but if he said no and it _was_ what Ryan was thinking then… he didn’t wanna think about it.

“I- I don’t know,” he stuttered.

“Ray,” Ryan started, “I don’t regret it at all, and it wasn’t a mistake. In fact I’ve been meaning to do that for a long time, I just needed a little push,” he told him. “But if you think it was a mistake or it made you uncomfortable I need you to tell me,” he shifted to the edge of his bed, reaching out and grabbing the chair, pulling it forward and looking at the other intensely. Ray moved to get more comfortable but it was hard at such a close proximity, he ended up just curling his legs up under him and leaning back.

“It didn’t make me uncomfortable, I didn’t regret it, it wasn’t a mistake,” he rambled off, fiddling with his hands.

“Are you sure?” Ryan asked ducking into his view and looking up at him.

“Positive,” Ray nodded.

“Good, now come lay down,” the blond said, reaching out and grabbing Ray’s arm, pulling him from the chair and into the bed. He pulled the blankets up over them and wrapped his arm around the smaller boy sighing contentedly.

“Why would you think I regretted it?” he asked after a beat of silence.

“Hmm?”

“Why would I regret it, we’ve practically been dating for months, we’ve liked each other for a while, that’s obvious. I wouldn’t have done it if I didn’t want to,”

“I just wasn’t sure,” Ray shrugged.

“Okay, well now you are,”

“Yeah,” he turned on his side to face Ryan reaching a hand out to link their fingers together.

“So you like me,” Ryan started.

“Mhm,”

“And I like you,” he added.

“Mhm,”

“So we like each other,” Ryan concluded.

“How did you ever come to that conclusion?” Ray smiled.

“Shut up. Do you wanna go out tomorrow night, like an official date?” he asked shyly.

“Mhm,” Ray hummed, smile still on his face, but he was slowly welcoming sleep, letting the warmth of the blankets and the boy next to him lull him into slumber.

“Wanna take a nap?” Ryan asked. Ray wasn’t looking at him now, eyes fluttered shut, but he could hear the grin in his words.

“Mhm,” he nodded once.

“Can I kiss you first?” Ryan whispered. Ray’s eyes snapped open, looking up at the insecure look on the other’s face and smiling.

“Mhm,” Ryan propped himself up on his elbow over the other and leaned down, pecking him once, twice, three times before kissing his cheek and laying back down.

They curled back up around each other and closed their eyes, attempting to let sleep bull them under, but after a few minutes in silence Ryan started giggling.

“What?” Ray mumbled, blinking one eye open.

“I can do that whenever I want now,” he grinned.

“You’re a loser,” Ray told him, turning his back to him and backing up until they were flush against each other. “Now cuddle me so I can sleep,” he commanded, reaching back for the other’s arm.

“Can do,” he complied.

~~~

“That’s not the answer you mong!” Gavin cried, slapping at Michael’s hands when he started tickling him.

“I’m just gonna fail,” Michael concluded, flopping down next to him.

“C’mon Michael, you can’t just throw your grade away,”

“I’m hopeless,”

“You aren’t,”

“Gavin, English has been kicking my ass all year,” he shrugged.

“I thought you were good at English,”

“I was until these vocabulary words were added to the curriculum. There’s nothing I can do,”

“You could actually try studying,” Gavin offered, “but that’s stupid, what moron actually does that?” he rolled his eyes, lying next to Michael.

“I will in a bit, I just need a break,” he waved him off.

“Fine, but in twenty minutes we’re going over all the definitions again,” Gavin warned.

“You’re the worst,” the redhead groaned.

“Best,” he corrected.

“Whatever,”

“So Ryan and Ray,” Gavin blurted.

“Yeah, it’s about god damn time,”

“Do you think it’ll make things different?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, do you think things will be awkward now?”

“They weren’t awkward before, and they’ve practically been dating for a while,” he said adjusting his glasses.

“I hope so,”

“Why? Worried? Jealous?” Michael nudged him.

“No, I just don’t want our dynamic to get thrown off,”

“It won’t, we still have singles nights with Jack,”

“Yeah,” Gavin mumbled. Michael looked over at him curiously, sitting up and looking down at him.

“Seriously, are you okay?” he asked softly.

“I’m fine, just thinking is all,” he replied quietly. Michael nodded and let it go, lying back down and staring at the other boys ceiling.

“We should get back to work,” Gavin said suddenly.

“It hasn’t been twenty minutes,” the redhead pouted.

“I know, but the sooner you start to know and understand this stuff the better,” he explained.

“I hate when you’re right,” he grumbled.

“I know, it’s a good thing I’m rarely right then,” he replied too cheerily.

“See, right again,” Michael laughed, pulling his books and vocab words back out.

Gavin asked him the same words three more times, and when Michael finally got at least half of them right they had another study break, which turned into a study nap. Gavin woke up first, moving to stretch but he soon found that his arms were trapped by his sides, Michael’s arms wrapped firmly around him.

He took a minute to appreciate the warmth the other gave, appreciate the way he held him so tight, as if he was afraid that if he let go Gavin would disappear. He probably would’ve let him sleep longer if he didn’t shift and end up jabbing a note book into his thigh.

“Michael,” he said around a yawn. When the other didn’t stir he kicked him, jerking him awake.

“The fuck was that for?” he asked rubbing his knee.

“I couldn’t move,”

“You could’ve woken me up nicely,” Michael told him.

“I said your name, you didn’t move,” the other explained earning a glare.

“Why did you need to get up anyway?”

“We have to study,” Gavin told him.

“Nope, absolutely no more studying in this house. Now if you have something important for us to do let me know, otherwise goodnight,” the redhead flipped back over, pulling the blankets up to his neck and shut his eyes.

“Come on, you can’t fail,”

“I know all of it,”

“Prove it,” Gavin challenged.

Michael handed him the definition sheet and let Gavin read each one to him, he missed one and then turned his lamp off.

“Why did you know them now?” Gavin squawked.

“I’ve known them since we learned them, but you’re cute when you’re trying to pronounce stupid vocabulary words,” he finished with a yawn.

“But- I- what?” he stuttered, face red at the fact that Michael had called him cute, but also annoyed that they had wasted so much time when they could’ve been studying for real.

“Shut up and sleep with me,” the other snapped, then lifted his head and looked back at him. “You know what I mean,” he was blushing now too, matching the Brit.

“Of course I’ll sleep with you Michael,”

“Shut up!”

~~~

They survived their finals and said their goodbyes and then they were off, piling into Ryan’s mom’s car, backpacks thrown messily in the trunk without a care. Since the car only seated five comfortably they had to sit on and across each other, so as usual Ray sat on Ryan’s lap and Geoff sat sprawled over Gavin and Michael, giving Jack the passenger seat.

“Man I cannot wait to sleep for two months,” Geoff leaned back, hands thrown behind his head.

“You start work next week,” Jack pointed out.

“Don’t remind me,” the eldest groaned, closing his eyes.

“At least you have us to work with!” Gavin cheered, wrapping his arm around Michael’s neck.

“That makes it worse,” Geoff whined, leaning back.

“You brought this on yourself,” Ray laughed.

Geoff’s uncle owned a little pizzeria in town and had offered Geoff and two of his friend’s jobs for the summer. His first choices were Griffon and Jack, but Griffon had a job at the antique store and Jack had one at the library lined up.

He would’ve gone for Ray and Ryan next but again he struck out. Ray got hired at the GameStop in the mall and he couldn’t be happier. Ryan’s dad’s friend was a manager at the Movie Theater and had set Ryan up with a job.

So that left him with Michael and Gavin, the only two that had made no attempt at getting jobs yet. He brought them over to meet his uncle and it was almost instantly decided that they were hired. Geoff was just lucky that they’d be working out on the floor while he was in the back for most of their shift.

“Whatever,” Geoff grumbled.

The rest of the ride was spent with the six boys cracking jokes and making fun of each other while Ryan’s mom pretended she wasn’t listening and rolling her eyes every five minutes.

They got to the beach shortly, rushing out and grabbing their towels before making a mad dash towards the beach. Ryan’s mom told him to call when they were done and then she was gone.

The beach was quite crowded since it was the last day of school and it seemed most of their classmates had decided to go as well. Within the first five minutes they had run into Blaine, Arryn, Barbara, Aaron, Miles, and Kerry so Jack, Geoff and Michael went to join them in a game of volleyball while Ray and Ryan set up towels in the sand together.

“And where do you think you’re going?” Ryan asked sternly. Ray looked up to see Gavin standing awkwardly between them and the boardwalk.

“Scouting for cute boys?” he offered with a weak grin.

“By yourself?” Ray asked, ignoring the look he got from his boyfriend.

“Well it’s not like I can have Geoff come with me,” he rolled his eyes.

“We just got here, stay a while,”

“Everyone else left,” the Brit whined.

“You’re not everyone else, you’ll find a way to break something,” Ryan told him.

“Pretty please?” Gavin pouted. Ray looked over at his boyfriend and shrugged.

“What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Michael,” Ryan deadpanned, making Ray nod and Gavin flush to his neck.

“He isn’t here,” Gavin kicked at the sand, sending it flying onto their towels.

“Be careful, not everyone here is from school,” the oldest of the three said then, watching the other skip off towards the shops across the street.

“Think he’ll get any digits?” Ray asked when they were both lying down.

“Probably, he’s cute,” the blond shrugged, ignoring the glare Ray sent him.

“You think he’s cute?” he asked dramatically.

“You kissed him,”

“…True,” Ray leaned over then, pecking the other on the cheek and then laid back down, pulling his sunglasses over his eyes.

“Hey, sunscreen,” Ray peeked his eyes open to see Ryan sitting up, bottle in his hand.

“I’m not a kid,”

“I’ll rub it in for you,” Ryan grinned wickedly, loving how flustered Ray got. He expected him to snatch the bottle from him and do it himself, too embarrassed at the thought, but when he actually shrugged and turned onto his stomach and told him to ‘go for it’ he obliged.

Later when the others returned, happy from winning their game and doing a victory run into the water in slow motion, they found Ray and Ryan, both pointing up at the clouds and yelling the most ridiculous things they could think of.

“Ray, that doesn’t look like a platypus,” the blond was saying.

“The one five minutes ago didn’t look like a cow, but you don’t see me complaining,”

“Hey bitches,” Geoff greeted, uncapping a bottle of water from the mini cooler they brought.

“Where’s the foreign one?” Jack asked, scanning the area around them.

“Went to pick up dicks- I mean, chicks,” Ray coughed.

“Clever,” Geoff rolled his eyes, sitting next to them and beginning to recount the entirety of their game.

Jack joined them too, laughing and cutting Geoff off when he would get a little too zealous with the story. “That’s not what actually happened,” he’d say, and then he’d tell it right. Michael however was now pulling his phone out from the pile he’d left his shirt and towel in, texting Gavin and telling him to come back. Ray tried to get him to sit down and join them, but he was too busy scowling at his phone.

“Oh great,” he snapped, “he’s ‘met someone’,” he said in a bad British accent.

“Michael come on, he’s free to talk to people,” Ryan told him, patting the sand next to him. “Sit,” he ordered.

“Whatever,”

Gavin was gone for another twenty minutes before he returned, sitting next to Geoff and grabbing his water bottle for a sip.

“Met someone?” Ryan asked then, causing Gavin to choke on his water and glare at his best friend.

“You told?”

“Obviously,”

“Details,” Ray demanded.

“He’s seventeen, his name is Nathan and he’s homeschooled,” Gavin

“I approve,” the Puerto Rican nodded.

“You haven’t even met him,” Michael snapped.

“Don’t need too, Vav is smiling like the sun,”

“Whatever,”

“Is he sticking around?” Geoff asked looking pointedly at the Brit.

“He said he’d be here until dark probably,” Geoff hummed in response and laid down, enjoying the warmth from the sun and the company of his friends.

They spent some time talking and resting, laying back and reapplying sunscreen while they tanned, but Michael didn’t join in any of it. Instead he laid in the sand on his side, back to them and he spent the time dragging his hands through the sand. No one else noticed at first, focusing on their conversations and talking about future summer plans.

Eventually though Jack noticed, and he discreetly kicked his leg out, tapping Michael’s thigh with his foot and looking at him knowingly when he turned around to glare.

“Do you know where the bathroom around here is?”

“Over there,” he told him, waving behind him.

“Can you show me?” he asked innocently, earning strange looks from the others.

“You gonna bang in the stalls or…?” Geoff trailed off.

“Absolutely,” Jack smirked.

“Whatever, let’s go,” he stood and walked off, leaving Jack to follow him.

They walked there in silence, both of them lost in their own thoughts, but once they were safely inside the bathrooms, Jack was glad to find it empty.

“Alright what’s going on? And don’t say nothing because you’re being a little bitch,”

“Rude,” the redhead mumbled, turning away.

“Oh well. So what is it? He met some other guy and you turn into a jealous girlfriend or?”

“Excuse me?”

“You do this every time he meets someone,” Jack began, “you close up and get angry for no reason, then when he calls you out you make up some bullshit excuse and hug it out,”

“That’s not true at all!” Michael argued.

“It most certainly is,” the other fought back. Michael opened his mouth to say more but then his mouth snapped shut as he thought back.

The first time he had seen Meg and Gavin he had been very drunk so he didn’t remember much, but he can vaguely remember being very annoyed. He can also remember clinging onto Gavin’s arm when he introduced them to each other.

_One point for Jack._

Then there was Caleb. From the second he walked into their biology class Michael hated him. And then he got mad at Gavin for taking an interest in the kid. In his defence he was right in the end that Caleb was a dick and not to be trusted, but maybe Jack was right.

_Two for Jack._

“What are you trying to say?” he asked, eyes narrowed.

“For someone who’s straight, you sure act weird whenever your also male best friend meets someone new,” Jack told him simply.

Michael almost hit him. He might’ve if it was anyone but Jack, the giant teddy bear of the group. Gavin was his best friend and he wanted what was best for him, but he wasn’t gay and for Jack to insinuate that he was… He wasn’t sure what to think about that.

“I’m not- Jack, you know me. I’m not into Gavin or… or jealous or whatever,”

“Then don’t act like it, cause it’s confusing enough for us, can’t imagine when he thinks,” Jack said, opening the door and heading back towards their group, never actually using the bathroom.

~~~

When the sun had set and people had begun taking out sparklers and setting up a fire the six boys decided to go be friendly, splitting up to separate areas and saying hello to classmates they saw.

Michael grabbed Gavin’s arm when he got up to walk around, wanting to talk to him about what Jack had said earlier since it hadn’t left his mind.

“What’s wrong boi?” Gavin smiled at him, stopping in his tracks.

“I just wanted to talk to you about something,”

“What is it?” Michael took a deep breath when Gavin tilted his head at him, trying to find a way to say it without offending him.

“I talked to Jack earlier…” he started, and watched the color drain from the other boy’s face, “he mentioned that I might… act like, like I’m jealous or something? I don’t know, he brought it up and I just wanted to make sure you knew that I- that I wasn’t, I’m not,” he rambled. Gavin sighed in relief and smiled at him, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes.

“Of course boy, Jack’s just being silly,” the Brit told him.

“Yeah,” Michael said nervously, rubbing the back of his neck. “Just wanted to clear it up,”

“Crystal,” Gavin gave him a quick thumbs up, looking over the redheads shoulder and smiling.

“What?” Michael looked at him funning, beginning to turn around, but he was stopped when Gavin grabbed his shoulder and shook his head violently.

“He’s over there,” Gavin whispered, nodding behind him. Michael turned to see a boy their age with dark hair standing in a circle of guys, laughing while he sipped from a can of beer.

“I don’t like him,” he stated. _Fuck, three for Jack._

“You don’t know him,”

“Neither do you,” the redhead muttered, ignoring the annoyed look his friend sent him. He took a deep breath after that and tried to calm himself down, whatever the real reason for his anger was he did have to agree that it must be confusing for everyone else, especially Gavin.

“Whatever,”

They didn’t go over to him, no they stood and talked somewhat near him, trying and failing at being discreet while staring at him. Eventually he was waving goodbye to his friends and moving over to greet them.

“Hey Gav,” he smiled.

“Hi, this is Michael, Michael, Nathan,”

“Nate,” he said offering his hand. Michael looked down at it and then at him, ignoring his hand to instead wrap an arm around Gavin.

“Nice to meet you,” he said challengingly.

“You too,” he looked at Gavin then, raising an eyebrow and receiving a confused half shrug in return.

“Right, well, I’ll let you guys get back to enjoying your first night of summer,” he smiled, fake cheeriness in his tone. “Nice meeting you,” he told Gavin and then he was gone.

“What a loser,” Michael chuckled, surprised when Gavin ripped himself away and started walking in the other direction. Michael almost punched himself in the face, no matter how hard he tried to keep his cool he just had to go and make a stupid fucking comment because it was Gavin, and he could never be calm when Gavin was involved. He raced after Gavin and grabbed his arm, turning him to face him, “Gav, I’m sorry-“

“Maybe Jack was right, you are a right prick,”

“Gavin come on, don’t be upset,”

“You said literally ten minutes ago that you weren’t jealous or what-bloody-ever, but your actions don’t exactly back you up there,” he snapped.

“Gavin, some guy you met at the beach is not a safe bet, and you said he was what? Seventeen? And he was drinking; I think I have the right to be a little skeptical,”

“We drink,” Gavin deadpanned.

“It’s different,”

“How?”

“It just is!”

“Are you two good?” Ryan asked hand linked with Ray’s as they walked cautiously closer. “You’re causing quite the scene,” he said carefully. Michael looked around then, seeing a few people he knew and some he didn’t watching them with interest.

“Aren’t we always?” Gavin met Ryan’s eyes sending him a fake smile.

“Pretty much,” Ray said bluntly. Michael finally let go of Gavin’s arm when he saw Geoff watching them, a stern look on his face. Gavin stepped away then, skipping over to where Jack was sitting with Miles and Kerry, joining eagerly in their conversation and acting like he wasn’t just fighting with his best friend.

“When is your mom coming to get us?” Michael asked Ryan though he didn’t take his eyes off his chestnut haired boi.

“I can call her now,”

“You do that,” he said turning on his heel and walking over to where their towels and cooler still remained.

“God dammit,” Ray muttered, getting the attention of his boyfriend.

“What?”

“It’s gonna be a long fucking summer,” he glared up at the sky. Ryan laughed and leaned down to kiss the glare away, tugging him back to Geoff where he was talking with Blaine and JJ.

Two hours later when they were in Ryan’s living room setting up their little camps Gavin made sure that his was at least five feet from Michael’s. However as soon as he left the room to get changed and go to the bathroom, the redhead was zipping their sleeping bags together and turning over to act like he had been sleeping. Ryan smirked when he saw that Michael also happened to be conveniently lying right on the zippers.

Gavin returned only moments later, sending a glare over to the other four as they chuckled silently, but when he looked down at the ‘sleeping’ face of his best friend his anger faded and then he was worming his way in next to him. He sighed comfortably as he pulled the blanket up to his shoulders, not really surprised at all when Michael flipped over and wrapped his arm around him.

 _Ray’s right,_ Ryan thought, _it’s gonna be a long fucking summer._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Raywood! I hope you guys liked it and I hope to hear from some of you soon.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys sorry this one took a while. Again it's just another filler really, but the next chapter starts their junior year of high school which I'm super excited for and I hope you guys enjoy it. Hope to hear from some of you guys soon! My editing skills suck enough as it is, but since I'm rushing and tired they're probably worse, so let me know if you guys find anything please.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Summer went by far too quickly for every ones tastes. Between work and drivers ed, dates and sleepovers, no one could seem to find the right balance leaving most of them with a sort of… empty feeling.

The boys had set themselves up with a strict schedule at the beginning of summer. They decided that they would work on Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays, Ryan, Geoff, Michael and Jack had drivers ed on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and then they all took Friday and Saturday off for boy’s night or date night. This schedule worked for about… a week before they started to lose their minds.

While Geoff worked with Michael and Gavin he didn’t get to see them as much as he had liked, working in the back washing dishes while they were out and about with customers. The other workers in the back, the chefs and bus boys weren’t very talkative and they didn’t get Geoff’s humor so he mostly just cleaned in silence.

When he wasn’t working he was in drivers ed classes with his friends, but that wasn’t too great either since their instructor was a major dick and they were separated from each other in the second class. Geoff only got to drive with Jack once before the instructor decided that they would do better alone and that was the end of that.

Boy’s nights were the usual, but seeing Ray and Ryan being so cute together made Geoff miss Griffon more than he already did, but her job at the antique store kept her busy most of the time, so he only got her on Saturday afternoons and brief phone calls before bed.

“I’m just saying it would be nice to see you more than once a week,” he told her one night.

“We’re both busy Geoff it’s kinda hard,” she said.

“What if we both take next Wednesday off and then spend the day together?” he suggested shyly.

“That could work, what do you suggest we do?”

“We could spend the day at the park.” She only had to think about it for five seconds before she was calling her boss to request the day off.

So they both took the next Wednesday off, meeting in the early afternoon and setting up a picnic before walking hand in hand to the park.

“Isn’t it supposed to rain?” Griffon asked as she set the blanket down for them.

“It hasn’t rained much this summer I doubt it,” her boyfriend said dropping the basket down next to them and laying down. When he made grabby hands at Griffon she shrugged and lay next to him. The sky was a darker blue, clouds floating by slowly.

There weren’t many people around them, a few elderly couples and some mothers with their kids running around with a soccer ball, but Griffon and Geoff were left alone in their section of the field.

“Ok,” Griffon said suddenly, “you’re stranded on an island with three other people, who are they?”

“You, Gavin and Jack,” he answered without missing a beat.

“Gavin? Really? I wouldn’t have guessed that,” she laughed.

“Just cause I want him there doesn’t mean he’ll live long, watching him trip over trees and shit will be great until one day he ends up dead,” he said honestly.

“Poor Jack is gonna be third wheeling it then,”

“Yeah, he can go build us a house while we repopulate,” he wiggled his eyebrows at her, leaning in for a kiss.

“You’re gross,” she pushed at his shoulders until he lay back down.

“Dream job?” he asked then.

“Something with sculpting or carving. Anything art related really,”

“Very Griffon of you,”

“Well, I am Griffon,” she rolled her eyes.

“That you are,” he bopped her on the nose.

“What celebrity would you want to play you in the movie of your life?”

“Fucking, Channing Tatum,” he threw his fist in the air.

“Seriously,” she deadpanned.

“I am a million percent serious baby,” he said quickly.

“You’re a loser,”

“But you love me,” he smirked.

“Yeah, I do,” she said gently.

“Boy or girl?” he asked after a moment of silence looking at her curiously.

“Boy or girl?” she echoed confused.

“What do you want your first kid to be, boy or girl? And what name?”

“I’ve always wanted a girl, and I love the name Reilly,” she smiled. “Why do you ask?”

“I thought that’s how this whole questions game worked. I ask you a question, you ask me, it’s a cycle,” he said sarcastically.

“Shut up, it’s not the normal question you’d ask is all,”

“Least favorite food?”

“Isn’t it my turn?” she smirked.

“Nope, you asked me why I asked you that last question so now it’s my turn,”

“You suck,”

“You wish,” he stuck his tongue out, “food?” he asked again.

“Asparagus,” she cringed.

“Good choice,” he nodded. She laughed at him and rolled so she was lying full on his chest using him as a pillow.

“You’re cute,” she told him.

“I know,” he said simply, getting a light kick in the shin. “You’re beautiful,” he laughed after.

“I know,” she pecked him on the cheek once, but when she moved to pull back and rest her head on his chest again, he grabbed her head with his hands and pulled her down to kiss him.

They didn’t take it too far or crazy because they were in a park with children and PDA was not something they were very fond of when it wasn’t their friends. It was light and sweet and lasted a long time, just a simple press of lips.

And then it started to rain.

It came in buckets, coming down hard and fast before either of them could even attempt to find shelter. Griffon was the first one to react since she was mostly covering Geoff’s body. She rolled off him quickly and reached for his hand to help him up, short hair already sticking to her cheeks and causing her dress to cling against her body.

“It’s just a little water,” Geoff had to yell to be heard and Griffon flipped him off. “Don’t be like that,” he laughed wrapping his arms around her and pulling her tight around him.

“Geoff stop, we’re getting soaked,” she whined.

“Exactly, so why bother running, we’re already wet,” he pointed out spinning in a circle, laughing as she screamed for him to put her down.

He set her down gently and caught bother her wrists when she turned around to playfully shove at him, grin on her face. She tugged in a halfhearted attempt to free herself but ultimately just let herself be pulled back to him kissing him passionately now that everyone else that had been in the park was gone, seeking shelter in cars or stores across the street.

“I love you,” he said after.

“I love you too,” she smiled, rubbing her thumb gently across his bottom lip loving the grin she got in return.

~~~

Ray went into his first day at GameStop completely blind, hands sweaty and voice shaky as he said goodbye to his mom in the parking lot. He was a half hour early, so he wandered the mall for a bit trying to calm his nerves, but when he finally pulled it together and walked in he was extremely happy to see Kerry standing behind the counter in a matching shirt.

“Dude you work here too?” he asked, opening the gate and joining him.

“Yeah man, second summer,” Kerry told him, high fiving him and going to open the door to the back room. “I’ll show you around,”

They walked into the back room, Kerry showing him where he could put his things and where to clock in for shifts. He met two older guys that worked there and a girl who was home from collage but he stayed mostly with Kerry, following him around and letting him show him the ropes.

“So most of the times you get annoying kids that just leave games lying about, so just find out what console it’s for and put it in alphabetically. It’s honestly the easiest job, and they won’t be putting you on a register for at least two weeks so for now you’re just sorting and stacking, making everything look awesome,”

“Sounds easy enough,” he nodded, taking the stack of games Kerry held out to him and going around the store to various console sections. They worked quietly and on occasion they’d mock stupid questions that customers had after they left.

When it was nearing his break he looked up at the sound of the alarm and grinned when Ryan walked in, big smile on his face and Taco Bell bag in hand.

“They let me go early cause they had like twenty other people,” he explained, “when’s your break?”

“Five minutes,” Kerry cut in, nodding to Ryan in greeting.

“Then I’ll wait,” he said, going over to the Xbox games and pretending to browse when the other employees came out front.

Five minutes later he was being sent on break and was walking out of the store hand in hand with Ryan. They settled in at a table by the mall entrance, talking about work and their coworkers, making plans for that night and just liking their time together. Ray eventually noticed though that Ryan was being fidgety, hands sweaty and twisting constantly, he couldn’t take more than one bite at a time continuously stopping to take sips of his drink or check his phone seeming to be counting the minutes till Ray’s break was over.

“Is something wrong?” he asked.

“Fine,” the blond said too quickly.

“Babe, you seem distracted, if you have somewhere to be or something just go,” he smiled, taking Ryan’s hand.

“No no it’s not that,” Ryan told him, gripping Ray’s hand tighter. “I just,” he sighed.

“I hate to be rude, but I only have two minutes left so…”

“I love you,” Ryan said suddenly but confidently. Ray was speechless, face red and eyes wide. He had known how he felt about Ryan for months, known that he was in love with him, but he didn’t know how the blond had felt, thought that his feelings weren’t as strong, so to hear him say it so soon and first sent an odd sort of relief through Ray.

“I love you too,” he confessed, standing up and leaning across the table to kiss him.

They didn’t say anything else to each other until that night when they were finally back at Ryan’s house in his bed, both of them lying side by side facing the ceiling.

“When did you realize?” Ray asked.

“Realize what?”

“That you loved me,”

“Remember our first date? First real proper date?” he asked, Ray smiled, of course he did.

_They had gone to the movies and sat in the middle row, some new animated movie that everyone was raving about. They had sat close to each other, Ryan having lifted the divider between them, pulling Ray into his side, but when an older couple walked in with their granddaughter and sent them the most disgusted looks they pulled away quickly, Ray hanging his head in shame while Ryan glared back at them._

_They didn’t talk about it for the first half of the movie, leaning away from each other and enjoying the film, but after an hour of them practically avoiding each other, Ray looked over to see Ryan smiling at him softly. Ray smiled back and shyly reached his hand out for Ryan’s, linking their fingers together softly and huddling close._

_“We can’t let them ruin our time,” Ryan whispered, knocking their foreheads together and smiling._

_“Right,” the other agreed, turning back to the screen and ignoring any looks they got for the remainder of the movie. They laughed about it when they got back to Ryan’s, curled into his bed and giggling as they recounted the look on the older woman’s face when they kissed outside of the theater. They waited for Ryan’s mom outside hand in hand and laughing about stupid things that happened in the movie and when Ryan looked at him, eyes bright and happy he knew he was in love._

“You fell for me on the first date?” Ray asked flattered.

“Well yeah, what about you?” the blond blushed.

“Remember when we went to your house,” he started.

“Oh yeah, that _one_ time we went to my house, cause we’ve never done that,” Ryan teased gesturing to the room around them.

“Not funny, and let me finish. I think we came here for what our fourth date? And we were in the living room cause your parents decided to go out to dinner and a movie,” Ryan knew what he was talking about almost instantly.

_They waited patiently with Ryan’s dad while his mom finished getting ready, both of them acting casual since their parents didn’t know about them yet, but as soon as his mom came down the stairs and left with his dad they were at the window, watching for the car to pull out of the driveway._

_“You wanna call in the pizza?” Ryan slid the phone over to Ray, going into the kitchen to get drinks and other snack foods that they had bought. They sat comfortable on the couch, arms around each other and sides pressed together, while they watched the beginning of The Lion King._

_Twenty minutes later the pizza was arriving and they were pulling slices onto paper plates, still not taking their focus off the movie. By the time the credits were rolling however they were busy throwing skittles in each other’s faces, hoping they could get one in the mouth._

_“I should get bonus points for that one,” Ray declared._

_“Why, you got it in, still only one point,”_

_“Yeah but it was your favorite flavor and it didn’t hit the floor like most of the others,” he pointed out._

_“That doesn’t mean you get bonus points though,” Ryan argued, smile on his face at the fact that Ray remembered purple was his favorite._

_“You’re just saying that cause bonus points would put me in the lead,” Ray teased._

_“What would you want if you won?” Ryan asked leaning closer to him, hand reaching out to take the bag of skittles off Ray’s lap and throw it on the coffee table._

_“I’m not sure, what should I get when I do?” he smirked._

_“I don’t know, but I want a kiss when I win,” Ray rolled his eyes at that._

_“You don’t need to win to get that,”_

_“Oh?” Ryan asked mock surprised. “Then in that case…” he trailed off leaning closer to his boyfriend on the couch wiggling his eyebrows._

_“Don’t be a weirdo,” Ray pushed at his elbow, but kissed him nonetheless, smiling against his mouth when he began pushing him back against the couch._

_Ryan kissed him slowly like he always did, still getting used to the way Ray’s breath hitched before their lips connected, every time. Still getting used to the way he felt underneath Ryan whether they were kissing or cuddling. He was careful to keep his hands above the waist unsure of how the other felt so soon, but it was still more than enough for them._

_Ray wasn’t sure he would ever get used to the feel of Ryan holding himself up above him, hands on his hips and lips working on his or down his neck._

_“Wait,” Ray said suddenly, pushing lightly at Ryan’s shoulders. Ryan hummed to show he was listening, hands braced on either side of Ray’s head to keep him up. “When are your parents coming home?” he asked, lips kiss swollen and neck sporting a dark purple bruise._

_“Not for another hour, why?”_

_“I just don’t want them to walk in and see their darling, innocent son doing this,” he said nonchalantly._

_“Are you suggesting we go to my room?” Ryan raised an eyebrow._

_“That’s exactly what I’m suggesting,” he deadpanned._

_“How promiscuous,” the blond whispered, leaning down to peck Ray one more time before rolling off the couch and grabbing their plates. They cleaned quickly, moving around each other like clockwork, living room to the kitchen and back again._

_They were done downstairs in only minutes, hurrying up the stairs and crashing into Ryan’s room. Ryan swung the door shut behind them, reaching out to wrap his arms around Ray’s waist and turn him so his back hit the door._

_“You’re cute when you’re flustered,” he told him._

_“I know, you only tell me all the time,” Ray rolled his eyes._

_“Cause you’re cute all the time,” Ryan kissed the tip of his nose._

_“Lame,” Ray said, drawing the word out and starting to walk forwards towards Ryan’s bed causing the other to stumble over his feet. Ryan crashed on his back with an ‘umph,’ Ray gently landing on top of him, not hesitating to kiss him hungrily._

_“What’s gotten into you?” Ryan questioned when they pulled apart._

_“I don’t know, but I think I like it,” the dark haired boy answered honestly._

_“I think I do too,”_

_They stayed like that for a long time, Ray leading the kiss and Ryan trusting him to do what he wanted, and that’s when Ray knew. Because he was always the one doing the trusting, letting others do as they pleased and stopping them when it got too much, but to have someone else putting their trust in him and letting him make the moves meant a lot and he found his heart swelling._

“That’s adorable,” Ryan said reaching over and bopping him on the nose.

“Shut up,” the other blushed.

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

~~~

Since Ryan worked at the most popular movie theater in their town he wasn’t surprised to find that he worked with other kids from school, some he knew and some he didn’t but he found himself mainly hanging around Joel, who was home from collage for the summer, and Barbara. They spent most of their time begging to clean theaters together where they’d just make a bigger mess and run around before eventually cleaning it up before the next movie. They even found a way to fuck with kids that thought they could sneak into R rated movies without parents.

“Hey Joel,” Ryan spoke in his ear piece, “someone spilled their soda by theater five on their way to theater seven,” five being the theater they were going to sneak into, and seven being the theater they were supposed to be in. Seconds later Barbara was by Ryan’s side telling him to ‘go help clean’ and he was off after the two boys that couldn’t be more than fourteen and trying to get into some new horror movie.

He rounded the corner just in time to see Joel jump out from being a cardboard cutout and scare the shit out of the kids. “Tickets please,” he asked calmly holding his hand out. The ‘leader’ of the two sheepishly handed the tickets over, ducking his head when Joel clicked his tongue at them.

“Ryan I’m worried about the schooling system in America, these two young men couldn’t even read the number seven,” he shook his head. “How are they gonna graduate high school? Here, I’ll help you two boys out,” he gestured to the sign above the theater with a big number _5_ , “This is theater five, and here on your ticket is a number seven, see that theater right there?” he pointed to the one next to it, “that is a seven, see how they match?” Ryan was snickering next to him, watching the two blushing boys thank him and scurry over to their theater.

“Don’t you think that was a little much?”

“Collage teaches you not to give a shit,” Joel shrugged.

“Fair enough,” he said impressed.

“Did you guys handle it?” Barbara’s voice broke into their ears.

“Yeah, you should’ve seen this one,” Ryan said back, making his way down the hall back to his spot. “You coming?” he turned back to his friend.

“I’ll wait here for like five minutes to make sure they don’t go to the bathroom and get confused again,” he told Ryan, crossing his arms and leaning against the wall across from theater seven.

Ryan shook his head and made his way back to Barbara telling her all about it between customers. She was pissed that she missed it and made them promise that she could take the next one, luckily it came two hours later and then she was off, Joel as her back up while Ryan took her spot at concessions.

“Dude it was great,” Joel told him at closing, “she said it so innocently but like, the death glare in her eyes, I was almost scared for the kid,” he laughed, throwing a piece of popcorn in his mouth.

“She looks cute and innocent, but she will destroy you,”

“I don’t know how Aaron does it,” Joel sighed.

“Strength and magic,” Ryan deadpanned.

“Yeah that’s it,” Joel chuckled. They worked in silence for a while, sweeping and mopping, throwing away all the old popcorn when Joel looked over at him, “so uh, me and some friends normally sneak in here at night,” he started, watching Ryan’s head snap towards him.

“How are you not caught?”

“There’s no cameras by the back entrance, which is probably gonna fuck them over someday, but yeah, we sneak in through the back entrance and just hang out in the projection room,”

“Who?” Ryan asked.

“Normally it’s Burnie, Gus, Adam and I, sometimes Barbara and Aaron come,” he shrugged, “but you should come by some time, bring that boyfriend of yours,”

“I’ll think about it,” he said and then they were back to working in silence.

He didn’t go to join them, but he did go on nights he knew they weren’t, sneaking Ray up there so they could be alone and just enjoy the quiet around them.

“Cinderella is a classic and she looked great in blue,” Ray argued.

“You’re a sucker for blonds in blue,” Ryan smirked at him.

“Shut up,”

“I still think Snow White is the best,”

“Bestiality,” was all Ray said.

“Who do you think the first of us to get married will be?” Ryan asked then rubbing his thumb over the back of Ray’s hand.

“Geoff and Griffon will probably be first followed by Jack and whoever he meets,” he answered after putting some thought into it.

“Michael and Gavin will definitely be last,” Ryan nodded.

“Yeah, they’ll probably fight over who gets to propose for a few months, break up over it and then Michael will go to Gavin’s house and propose the end,” Ray rolled his eyes.

“You are not wrong,” Ryan said.

“God, can you imagine the two of them trying to plan a wedding?” Ray laughed.

“Disaster, Gavin’s gonna want a purple tux and Michael is gonna want traditional black and then the food will just be a clusterfuck of shit,” Ryan ranted.

“Gavin will want doves and romance and Michael will want a Zelda theme,” Ray yawned.

“Yeah,” Ryan chuckled. “Do you wanna start heading back?” he asked, sitting up.

“In a bit,” he tugged him back down by the fabric of his shirt, linking their hands back together.

“You’re gonna fall asleep again and I’m gonna have to carry you home,”

“You love holding me shut up,” Ray swatted at him.

“Maybe,”

Ray hummed; eyes still shut and hand still in his boyfriends. He was almost asleep when he felt Ryan shift next to him, sitting up and leaning over him to kiss him. Like everything else in their relationship it was slow, a soft press of lips and gentle hands on shoulders and hips.

“You always do this when I’m busy,”

“You aren’t busy now,” Ryan pointed out.

“I’m busy falling asleep,” Ray smiled at him.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll let you get back to it,” the blond rolled his eyes, pushing himself off the smaller boy, but he was quickly pulled back down.

“Well now I’m busy with you, you can’t just quit,” Ray said reattaching their lips and kissing him tenderly.

An hour later Ryan was walking home in the quiet night, Ray on his back, legs locked around his waist sound asleep. He shook his head when they finally made it back to his house, unlocking the door as quietly as possible, slipping inside and kicking his shoes off. He shifted Ray around to his front, amazed that he could still be out cold while he was manhandled, and started making his way up the steps.

He took them slowly, creeping past his parent’s bedroom and down the hall to his. He opened the door gently, shuffling inside and dropping his boyfriend carefully onto his bed. He took off the other boy’s shoes for him and his sweatshirt before looking down at his jeans knowing that he’d be uncomfortable in the morning.

“Ray, wake up,” he whispered, reaching out to shake him. When he didn’t budge Ryan climbed onto the bed fully and shook him a little harder, “babe, wake up real quick,”

“wha-“ Ray blinked his eyes once, twice, three times before focusing on Ryan and squinting at him. “What do you want?”

“You’ll be uncomfortable if you don’t change your pants,” Ryan told him, offering him a pair of shorts.

“I don’t care,” Ray whined.

“Yes you do, come on, off,” he said tugging lightly at the boy’s jeans.

“Too lazy, you do it,” Ray grumbled, rolling over and throwing an arm over his eyes, not realizing that his glasses were still on too.

“You’re a child,” Ryan rolled his eyes, reaching up to unbutton his boyfriends pants and slip them off of him, but when he tried to put the basketball shorts on him Ray kicked at him and crawled under the covers.

“Too hot for pants,” was all he said.

“Fine,” Ryan chuckled, leaning over him to take his glasses off and set them on the night stand.

No matter how tired they were the next day as they made their way downstairs for breakfast or to work, they were Ryan’s favorite nights of the entire summer. Locked away in the projection room with the boy he loved and carrying him home in the early hours of the morning.

~~~

Jack’s summer was boring for the most part, working at the library with mainly older ladies that cooed at him for what a ‘sweet young man’ he was got old fast.

He didn’t know anyone when he first started there, didn’t have anyone his age that worked there or even went there in the summer. Mainly collage kids that were home for the summer and younger kids that made a mess of the children’s books that Jack later had to clean and categorize.

Every once in a while one of his friends would come in, tease him for working at ‘an old people’s place’ and then make a small mess that he’d later have to clean. He didn’t mind though, it showed him that they missed him, so he was happy to clean their messes.

For the most part it was just a calm job, he got to drink coffee and sit in the little garden area they had behind the library on his breaks and he loved it. Not many people liked going outside, they hated the bugs or the heat or they would only go out there to make a phone call.

Until her.

It was the last two weeks of summer when Jack saw her and he was breathless at the sight. She had short brown hair and bright blue eyes and Jack wasn’t sure if she was real the first time he saw her, but he was too scared to talk to her, instead he stayed by the windows for most of his shift, reorganizing the same bin of picture books for at least an hour, and if any of the other workers noticed they said nothing.

Jack stared at her until his eyes were numb from not blinking and his knees wobbled from being locked for so long, not enough blood circulation. He didn’t care though, eyes locked on the beautiful girl sitting on the bench completely engrossed in whatever it was she was reading.

And then she was gone, Jack’s boss, Andrea, had walked by so he turned to greet her, trying to act casual and when he turned back to the garden after Andrea left, he was met with an empty garden, the gate swinging shut. He could’ve kicked himself, could’ve bashed his head through the window for never getting her name.

That night with Michael and Gavin had been hell for him. How were they supposed to have singles night and talk about how great the ‘single life’ was when he occupied with thoughts of an angel?

“Hello? Jack?” Michael was snapping his fingers in front of his face while Gavin stared at him curiously from the entryway of his kitchen.

“Huh? Sorry,” he shook his head.

“What do you want to drink?” Gavin asked slowly, and Jack could tell that this wasn’t the first time he had asked.

“Oh uh, water,” he shrugged. Gavin disappeared back into the kitchen to get it while Michael stared at him suspiciously.

“You sure you’re okay tonight dude? You’ve been really out of it,” the redhead asked concerned.

“Yeah, dude I’m fine, just tired,” he said casually. He could tell Michael didn’t believe him, but thankfully the other boy let it go, turning his attention back to Gavin when he came into the room.

“So we’re hanging again tomorrow night right?” Gavin asked.

“Yeah, my place,” Michael nodded.

“Can’t wait,” Jack added, both of them looked at him quizzically and he smiled in what he hoped was a casual way, but they just raised their eyebrows at him.

The rest of the night went well, each of them focused on whatever movie they were watching or game they were playing and in the morning Jack’s mom came to pick him up and take him to work while Gavin and Michael stumbled over themselves to get ready.

He made it three hours into his shift going to take his break in the garden as always, but he froze in his spot when he saw her again. She was just as stunning as the day before, focused on her book and not even aware that Jack was now sitting on the bench across from her coffee in hand.

He didn’t mean to stare, really he didn’t. He planned on going out there and enjoying the birds chirping away and maybe read one of the books that he kept promising himself he’d start. He gave up on those thoughts almost instantly when he caught the way the girl brushed her hair back behind her ear so carefully, saw the way her eyes widened as she read, something good happening on each page.

And in his defense he didn’t even realize he was staring until she looked up at him suddenly and his head was snapping back to his coffee cup. He mentally cursed himself for his stupidity and risked looking back up at her only to find her watching him carefully, small smile dancing on her lips. Jack wanted to go over and introduce himself, say hi or just _do something,_ but he couldn’t pull himself away from her gaze, smiling softly back at her, but then Andrea was at the gate telling him his break was over and that the children’s section needed to be cleaned because a group of kids and their mothers had just left.

He walked quickly away with his head down, but he was still smiling when he went back inside, in fact he didn’t stop smiling for the rest of his shift. Too bad he didn’t see that she didn’t stop smiling until she left either.

Singles night that night was even harder, because it seemed Michael and Gavin just wanted to make fun of Ryan and Ray the entire time. Yes, they had all gotten the calls from the two boys separately. _He told me he loves me!_ So they all listened carefully on the phone and offered their congratulations, but as soon as they hung up Michael was throwing himself on Gavin professing his eternal love for the Brit and Gavin was wheezing under him, crying with laughter as he said it back.

“Dude what’s gotten into you; you’re normally involved in the mocking,” Michael started, “you’ve been weird,” he finished skeptically.

When Jack didn’t answer right away Gavin gasped, “oh my god, you’ve bloody met someone!” he exclaimed, pushing Michael off of him and rushing to join the other boy on the couch.

“What?” Michael sputtered.

“Well have you?” the Brit urged.

“Well, not really,” Jack said unsurely.

“But kinda?”

“I don’t even know her name,” he groaned, flopping back on the couch and pulling one of the pillows over his face.

“That’s okay,” Gavin smiled, “tell us what she looks like, maybe we’ve seen her around,”

“Oh trust me, you’ve never seen her, we all would’ve remembered that kinda beauty,” Jack sighed.

“Awwww,” Gavin cooed.

“It’s disgusting,” Michael mocked.

“She’s been in the garden behind the library the last two days; she’s got these wild blue eyes and this perfect smile,”

“You sound like Geoff when he met Griffon,”

“Shut up,” he swatted at the redhead.

“Talk to her if she’s there next time,” Gavin suggested.

“Summers almost over, what if she leaves and I never see her again,”

“Or what if she’s just transferred here and you have every class with her?” Michael countered.

“Don’t get my hopes up,” the ginger haired boy grumbled.

“It’s a definite possibility,” he shrugged.

“Whatever, just turn a movie on, I don’t wanna talk about it anymore,”

“Why not?” Gavin tilted his head.

“It’s depressing,”

“And why’s that?” Michael jumped in.

“An angel like that would want nothing to do with me,”

“Don’t sell yourself short man, you’re awesome,” Michael patted him on the back.

“Yeah, you’re adorable and handsome and sweet and funny and it would be her loss,” Gavin listed.

“Okay okay, whatever, stop,” he told them, but he was smiling so they both hugged him until he begged for mercy and then they started a movie.

He didn’t see her again that week, or the next one.

~~~

Gavin loved summer, he loved the weather and the time to sleep in and be with friends. He loved his job and the people he worked with; all in all it was his favorite summer yet.  

He was a waiter at Geoff’s uncle’s restaurant which meant he made great tips and met a lot of cute people. He got to see Michael everyday and would go home with him almost every day. When he couldn’t go to Michael’s house because he had drivers ed or family visiting, he would hang out with Ray and sometimes he and Griffon would meet at the mall and talk.

“So how are things with Michael?” she asked one day sipping at her coffee.

“Fine,” he shrugged.

“You know what I mean,”

“Yeah, I know,”

“So?” she urged.

“They’re the same, he’s straight and I’m in love with him. We’re best friends and I’m not gonna ruin it,” he said avoiding her eyes.

“Gavin, come on, he totally likes you,” she started, holding her hand up when he opened his mouth to argue. “He’s all over you all the time, he even gets jealous over Geoff, Ray, Ryan and Jack and they’re your best friends, why would he have any reason to be jealous of them if he didn’t like you?” she smirked.

“Griffon it’s not like that,” Gavin strained. “He’s just protective and he isn’t jealous of the other guys,”

“Geoff talks to me a lot you know,” she smiled, “I know things you don’t,” she sang.

“Like what?” he asked nervously.

“Look, I’m just saying from what I’ve heard in seen I don’t want you giving up on him because there is a chance,” she reached out to cover his hand with hers.

“Seems like you’re one of the only people that actually thinks that,” he rolled his eyes.

“What do you mean?”

“Ray and Ryan want me to get over him, think it’s useless and I don’t know, maybe they’re right,” he explained.

“They most certainly are not right,” she set her cup down harshly.

“Griffon-“

“Gavin, do you love him? Do you really honest to God believe that you are in love with him?” she looked at him intensely.

He didn’t even have to think about it before he said, “yes,”

“Then don’t give it up,” she said as if it were the easiest thing on the planet.

“But,” was all he could say, gesturing his arms around unsure on how to continue.

“Gavin, you can’t give up on love when it’s there, it makes people miserable and you don’t deserve to be miserable,”

“Griffon, he is the straightest person I know, he is not gay and he doesn’t like me,” Gavin said in one breath.

“I know what love looks like,” was all she said, standing up to take her empty cup to the trash can. He wanted to ask her what she meant, but when she got back she grabbed his arm and pulled him towards the chocolate store claiming she wanted to bring Geoff something sweet for their date that weekend.

They didn’t talk about it again that summer.

A few weeks later drivers ed was over and the guys were all filling out their logs and heading to the DMV. Gavin, Ray and Griffon went along as moral support, quizzing them on the way over and helping them memorize important numbers. They were all spaced out in the room, sent to different computers where there was absolutely no chance for them to cheat even if they wanted to.

“Geoff was so nervous for this, I really hope he does okay,” Griffon said to the other two.

“Yeah, Michael was really worried last night, made me read the bloody book with him three times before he’d let me sleep,” Gavin chuckled rubbing his hands through his hair.

“Ryan was really calm, not that I was expecting him to be worried,” Ray shrugged, “he didn’t even study last night,”

“Ryan’s a genius, practically has a photographic memory,” Griffon pointed out.

“Geoff, doesn’t,” the Puerto Rican replied.

“No he does not,” she shook her head.

They got quiet after, peeking through the glass window at the boys as they focused on their screens. Jack and Ryan were the only ones they could see the faces of, the other two were turned away. Ryan was breezing through it seemed, leaned back in his chair completely relaxed as he clicked on answer after answer. Jack was more focused, brow creased and eyes calculating, but he also looked like he was doing okay.

Ten minutes later Geoff stood up and walked out, going to the counter to drop of his number and speak with the man behind it. They seemed to be looking at the calendar to pick a date for something, whether it was the retake written test or the driving portion Griffon didn’t know.

He thanked the man behind the counter and walked over to where the other three were sitting, reaching out for Griffon’s hand and looking straight ahead.

“Well?” she turned to him.

“I got every last one right,” he said proudly.

“Congrats man,” Ray reached out for a high five.

“Thanks,” he said, laughing when Gavin patted him on the back. “I go for the driving part next Tuesday,”

An hour later they were all done, leaving with slips of paper with their driving dates on it and they declared that they go celebrate passing.

They ended up with ice cream gathered around a table and laughing about the look on Michael’s face when he had walked out and seen that he passed.

“Couldn’t have done it without my boi,” he smiled, throwing his arm around Gavin’s neck and pulling him close.

“You’re the one that did it, I just read the book with you,” the Brit blushed avoiding the look Griffon was giving him.

“You gave me support boi, that was all you,” he said seriously, Gavin was already red as a rose, so he just turned to lick at his ice cream quietly.

Two weeks later Michael was showing up at Gavin’s house in his mom’s car. All by himself. When he ran up to the door he greeted Gavin’s mom and ran up to the boy’s room to show him his new license and the car keys that were his for the day.

“They told me whatever I save by Christmas they’ll double,” he said as he led the boy to the car, opening the passenger side door for him.

“How much have you saved so far?” Gavin asked once they were both inside.

“Almost a grand,” he told him starting the car and backing out of the driveway.

“You know, I’ve never been in the car while you drove before,”

“I know, I’m super excited,”

“So where are you taking me?” Gavin looked over at him.

“We are gonna get ice cream and go to the beach,” the redhead answered not taking his eyes off the road.

“The beach is a while away, it’ll be dark when we get there,” Gavin pointed out.

“I know, you’re sleeping over anyway right? I already talked to mom, she trusts us,” he shrugged.

“Okay,”

The sun was already setting as they drove into town, shitty pop music blasting on the radio while they both belted the lyrics at each other. For the most part Gavin was focused on the outside scenery, singing the words and watching the world pass, but he was pulled away from the window when his hand was grabbed from his lap and another was wrapped around it. He looked over to see Michael’s much larger hand gripping his tightly but when he looked up at the other boy’s face he found that the redhead was still focused completely on the road not acknowledging him at all. Gavin shrugged and turned back to the window, smile and blush on his face.

When they made it to the ice cream place Michael parked outside and let go of Gavin’s hand to get out. They walked in side by side and Gavin kept his hands firmly rooted in his pockets while Michael let his swing beside him. They walked inside and stood in line looking up at all the flavor choices.

“What do you want?” Michael whispered then so he wouldn’t disturb the people ordering in front of them.

“No, what do _you_ want? I’m buying,” Gavin told him pulling a twenty out of his pocket.

“I don’t think so,” Michael grabbed his wrist pulling it down. “I got my license today so I pay,” he announced.

“But, shouldn’t it mean that because you got your license today I pay for the celebratory ice cream?” Gavin smirked pulling his wrist free.

“It’s not happening boi, so put your money away or I’ll start swinging,” he teased taking the money from Gavin’s hand and putting it in the boy’s pocket for him. Then it was their turn in line and they were stepping up to order, Gavin going first and getting a small which Michael wouldn’t allow, telling him to make it at least a medium so in the end they both walked out with two medium cups of ice cream and walked back to the car as the moon shined down on them.

“Thanks Michael,” Gavin said once they got in the car.

“No problem,” he smirked blasting the AC and driving in the direction of the beach.

When Gavin wasn’t eating ice cream he was holding his cup in one hand, the other rested on the middle console until Michael again took his hand and drove the rest of the way to the beach like that. He didn’t look at Gavin and they didn’t talk about it, just cruised down the road with the music filling the silence.

Soon the beach was in view, the waves crashing against the rocks and sand and a few people were still out playing Frisbee or catch. Michael drove until they saw no one else and at that time there was no more sand in sight either, just rocks and waves. He parked the car a little off road and they climbed out, Michael led the way grabbing onto the rocks and pushing himself up stopping to take Gavin’s hand and pull him up.

They slowly made their way down towards the water before picking a sturdy rock to lie down on. They lay side by side, pressed together from shoulder to knee, and stared at the sky.

“So, what are your big plans for junior year?”

“What do you mean?” Michael turned to him.

“Any goals? Like classes you wanna take or people you wanna meet,” Gavin listed off.

“Not really? I’d like to meet someone and get good grades but I’m not gonna go out of my way,” he shrugged. “You?” he asked knocking his hand against Gavin’s.

“Nothing yet, but maybe something will come up,” Gavin shrugged. “I like to just let things happen most of the time,”

“Yeah, I try to do that, but it stresses me out,”

“Why?” Gavin looked over at him.

“When I try to let things happen naturally they go too slow, so then I try to find a way to speed it up and fuck it all up,” he was gesturing wildly, trying to find a way to make sense, but Gavin understood anyway.

“Stop trying to intervene with fate then,” Gavin said like it was easy.

“Hard when you’re an impatient fuck,” the redhead laughed, next to him Gavin chuckled before turning to face forward and letting out a long sigh.

“What do you think is gonna happen after high school?” he asked wistfully.

“We go to college?” Michael offered.

“No, but are we all still friends? Do we go to the same school or do we all move across the country? Does Ray finally go to Puerto Rico and I back to England?” he rambled.

“You better fucking not go to England,” Michael warned him.

“That’s what I’m saying, how can we know?” Gavin told him.

“It’s easy, you and I move in together, in the same apartment building as everyone else and we all live happily ever after,” the redhead explained.

“What happens Ryan and Ray break up and Geoff and Jack stop talking and you and I fight and hate each other?” Gavin asked then, mostly teasing.

“Not possible. Ryan and Ray are soul mates and Geoff and Jack have known each other almost as long as you and I have. Plus it’s not possible for me to hate you,” Michael told him, reaching down to grab his hand.

“Never say never,”

“Hey,” Michael shook his hand, waiting until he looked at him to continue, “Why are you so worried all of the sudden? You’re my best friend; I’m not going anywhere,” he smiled.

“Okay,” Gavin smiled back.

They stayed for another half hour before Michael stretched and stood, holding a hand out for Gavin to take. He slowly made his way back up the rocks, stopping after each step to make sure Gavin could get across okay, offering his hand when it was needed.

When they made it back to Michael’s house a little after eleven they stumbled in, kicking their shoes off and shuffling up the stairs. Neither of them bothered changing out of their clothes, both of them wearing shorts and t-shirts anyway. They peeled the covers back and crawled in, not wasting a second to close their eyes and sleep.

~~~

Working in a restaurant was awesome. Michael got free food, got to hang out with two of his best friends and he met plenty of cute girls.

However there was one problem. He had to sit back and watch as his best friend put on his charming grin and made all the boys and girls swoon. _Cheeky bastard._ More often than not they would leave at closing time, stumbling to Michael’s mom’s car from exhaustion and then Gavin would whip out some of the numbers he had gathered that day on napkins left with generous tips.

“He was right fit too,” Gavin would yawn when they got into the car, buckling in and leaning against the window. They’d stay quiet in the car since they really didn’t think Mrs. Jones needed to be in on their conversation, but as soon as they got into Michael’s bed in their pajamas, curled around each other and ready to pass out, they’d be right back at it.

“You gonna call him?” the redhead would ask, secretly holding his breath and hoping that the answer would be no.

“Should I?” Gavin would ask nervously, eyes searching Michael’s for the answer. This was what always made it hard. Gavin always asked him what he thought, _should I? Do you think it would be right? What do you think?_ And every night Michael would have to stay completely calm while he looked in his best friend’s eyes, arms wrapped firmly around him, and tell him _yeah, I don’t see why not._ Gavin never called though, too scared that it was a joke or they would end up being terrible for him.

“Would you actually call him if I said yes?” Michael asked.

“I don’t know, probably not,”

“Then why ask?” he tilted his head at the Brit.

“You’re my boi, I want your opinion, one day I might,” he shrugged.

“Then no, I don’t think you should trust some random bloke you met at your place of work. If things go wrong he knows where to find you,” Michael teased.

“Yeah, you’re right,” Gavin smiled, turning over and tucking the comforter around his shoulders.

A few nights later Michael was pissed. Gavin was really laying it on thick this time, the pretty redheaded girl blushed every time he came back with drinks or food, _he’s gay,_ was all Michael could think. Still it didn’t make it better, the way the girl was looking at him was annoying and Michael didn’t like the way Gavin looked back at her.

“Dude, calm down, I can see your jealousy from the kitchen,” Geoff whispered when he passed by him with a tray full of dirty dishes.

“I’m not jealous,” he snapped back, plastering on a fake smile when a new party entered. Being a host sucked sometimes, he was always out on the floor and always had to be smiling and welcoming to new people even when he just wanted to scream or pull his hair out.

He led them over to a table by the redheaded girls, passing Gavin on the way as he was bringing them the check. Michael kinda wanted to trip him. But he didn’t, instead he greeted him with a grin and a wink, patting him on the shoulder harder than necessary.

He sat the family down and told them that their waiter would be right with them before he was walking back to his station at the front. He heard snickering from behind him and turned to see Geoff peaking out of the kitchen doors at him. Michael stuck his tongue out since he couldn’t flip him off and turned back to the doors waiting.

Five minutes later though, the girl and her family were leaving, but before they did the girl walked over to him, a napkin in her hand and Michael was very confused.

“You’re friends with the waiter right?” she asked hopefully.

“Which one,” he sounded extremely bored.

“The British one,” she whispered looking around in case anyone was listening in.

“Gavin,”

“Yeah, could you give him this?” she asked, sliding the napkin across the stand he was behind.

“Sure,” he told her, fake smile making a reappearance. He looked down at it when she was gone, the name Stephanie and seven digits underneath it staring back at him.

He looked around to make sure no one was watching and then he tore it into pieces, like confetti, stuffing it in his pocket and pretending to sort menus.

He had thought he was successful, but when Geoff walked back by with a tub of clean cutlery wrapped in red cloths, he smirked at him. “Real mature,” was all he said. He set the tub down, winked at him and then vanished back into the kitchen.

~~~

“Guys school starts next week; can we just enjoy our last guy’s night?” Geoff groaned while they fought over what to do first.

“I’m having a great time, I don’t know what you mean,” Gavin said sarcastically from where Ray and Michael were both sitting on him.

“All you ever wanna do is play halo, let’s do something fun,” Ray declared, crossing his arms and pouting.

“Fine, we can do something fun, but get off me I can’t breathe,” Gavin kicked uselessly.

“Should we go outside?” Jack asked gesturing to the window where the sun was almost completely set, the moon already visible.

“Every time we go outside Gavin gets injured,” Ryan pointed out earning nods from the others.

“Not my fault!”

“It totally is dude,” Michael laughed.

“Twister?” Jack offered after.

“Nothing good ever comes of that,” Michael said.

“Hey!” Ray cried, wrapping his arm around Ryan.

“I meant, that Geoff turns into a dick and injures someone every time,” he corrected. Ray nodded and sat back, leaning against his boyfriend’s side and shutting his eyes.

“There’s nothing to do!” Geoff yelled flopping onto the couch.

“Why don’t we just talk?” Gavin suggested earning weird looks from those around him.

“Talk?”

“Since when do we do that?”

“Starting now!” he declared, propping his feet up on the coffee table and leaning on Michael’s side.

“What would we even talk about?” Ryan chuckled.

“Our love lives! Geoff you start,” Gavin smiled.

“You already know everything about it,”

“Tell me more,” the Brit urged, getting his head whacked by the redhead behind him.

“Should we just go to the mall? It doesn’t close for another three hours,” Michael stood up.

“Sure, I’ll ask mom,” Geoff ran up the stairs calling out ‘mom!’ like a child.

“Jesus, I don’t know how she does it,” Ray shook his head.

“The same way all our moms do it,” Jack started, “alcohol,”

“Mrs. Ramsey doesn’t drink,” Gavin said confused.

“It was a joke dumbass,”

“She said yes!” Geoff yelled from the top of the staircase, car keys in hand. “Get your crap together,”

Ten minutes later they were standing in the food court looking around unsure of what to do.

“So, we’re here. Now what?” Ray looked at Michael.

“Shop for shit, I don’t know,”

“We did work all summer…” Geoff trailed off.

“Shopping montage?” Ryan offered looking at each of the others.

“Shopping montage!” Gavin cheered running into the nearest clothing store, one that happened to be for children.

“Uh Gav-“

“Let him be, he’s where he belongs,” Geoff said like a proud parent.

“I got him,” Jack rolled his eyes following the other boy. They were only gone for thirty more seconds before Jack came out, hand wrapped around Gavin’s wrist.

“It was so colorful,” Gavin said dazed.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Ryan laughed.

“Or shit his pants,” Geoff mumbled.

After that they were strolling through the mall and pointing our various stores before Ray pointed at a costume shop and they all ran in.

“Back to school shopping,” Geoff told the woman behind the counter when she asked for the occasion. She gave them an odd look but didn’t comment.

“We never really did work on our Halloween costume idea,” Ryan said finally and they all lit up. 

“Minecraft,”

“Thank you for your contribution Geoff,” Ray deadpanned.

“Michael, come look with me Michael,” Gavin tugged at his sleeve.

“Alright boi,” he let himself be pulled to the other side of the store and started looking for green clothes.

They ran around the store like maniacs gathering different articles of the clothing in their pairs. Ray and Ryan spent ten minutes looking at different kilts while Jack and Geoff looked at Master Chief Helmets. Gavin had been in the dressing room for most of it, trying on different shades of green pants.

“This one’s too bright,” he whined opening the curtain.

“You’ve said that about the last two,” Michael rolled his eyes, throwing another pair at him and shutting the curtain.

“Don’t be mean, go find me a shirt,” he demanded, throwing him the other jeans and snapping his fingers.

“Drama queen,” he mumbled turning and shuffling back to the store, rolling his eyes at Ray and Ryan who were going into the dressing rooms an assortment of kilts and suit jackets in their arms.

He scanned the racks of clothing until he found three green tops that would work; two of them had buttons and were actually shirts but the other was labeled a tunic, not that Michael knew what that was or cared. But it had a zipper in the back and looked like a dress so he brought it back just for shits and giggles.

When he walked into the changing room he was the met with the sight of all his friends gathered around Ryan in a red kilt laughing their asses off.

“I always miss the good stuff,” he announced shaking his head.

“Don’t I look great?” Ryan curtsied.

“It’s… it’s something,” he laughed. “Here Gav,” he handed the shirts to him and leaned against the wall with Jack and Ray while the other three went to work, grumbling about how annoying clothes were.

Geoff was the first to come out, he and Jack had actually given up on making something that looked like Master Chief and instead just went into the full costume section and got one. He looked uncomfortable and really really-

“Stupid,” Michael laughed at him.

“Shut up, I’d like to see you try to rock this outfit,” he snapped, reaching towards Jack for the helmet in his hands.

“When we can’t see your face you look pretty good,” Ray joked.

“Dick,” he said, muffled by the metal around his head.

“It looks pretty good though, seriously,” Jack said.

“Then it’s decided on,” he nodded disappearing behind the curtain to change.

Gavin was the next out with one of the buttoned shirts on, it was the same shade as his pants which he complained about for five minutes before Jack shoved him back in the changing room. Ryan walked out later with a different red kilt on and a black blazer, it fit his broad shoulders better and Ray was nearly swooning.

“Ten out of ten would bang, you know, if you weren’t in a kilt,” Ray rambled face red.

“Really? I think the kilt really shows off my good side,” he teased.

“Wear it for him later, maybe you can change his mind,” Michael snickered.

“I highly doubt it,” Ray said.

“I’ll take my chances,” he laughed. “Alright Ray, I’m gonna change and then we’re gonna get you in a suit,” he announced.

“Or out of it!” Gavin pulled the curtain back in the tunic thing Michael had brought him.

“That actually doesn’t look bad,” Jack observed.

“It’s a bloody dress,” the Brit squawked.

“You’re working it though,” Geoff shrugged.

“It looks good,” Ray told him.

“Are you guys serious?”

“Yeah, the colors work, you almost look like Peter Pan, you know, minus the tights,” Ryan said thoughtfully.

“Fine,” he sighed shutting the curtain again. Ray and Ryan walked out of the room there Ryan’s clothes in hand, Jack and Geoff close behind.

“Ray,” Gavin said distressed, poking his head out from behind the curtain to find only Michael still standing there. “Oh,”

“Oh? What’s that supposed to mean?” he placed a hand over his heart mock offended.

“I need help,” Gav admitted.

“With what?” Michael tilted his head at him.

“The zippers stuck,” he pouted.

“You’re a baby,” Michael pushed himself off the wall and into the dressing room. It was a small space covered in green clothing; he and Gavin were practically pressed together as it was. Gavin turned his back to him so Michael could fix the zipper which Gavin had so nicely jammed. “How did you even do this?” he grunted as he pulled at the zipper.

“I don’t know, I just pulled and it stuck,” he whined.

It really didn’t take that long, all he had to do was pull it back up and then slowly back down and the boy was free, but it took him a lot longer than it should have to figure that out.

“There,” he said satisfied, lifting the bottom of the shirt up for him. Gavin lifted it over his head throwing it over to where his pants were. Michael didn’t mean to stare, but the sight of his best friend shirtless and digging around for his original shirt caught Michael’s interest.

“Michael, help me find my shirt,” he begged digging through more clothes.

“Jesus Gav, you didn’t even try this many clothes on,”

“There was a lot in here already,” he explained.

“It’s right there idiot,” he said leaning over Gavin to grab the shirt off the hanger above them, but when Gavin turned around to get it they found themselves much closer than before.

“I- thanks,” Gavin said reaching for it.

“What is taking so long? You guys banging?” Ray pulled the curtain back and froze when he saw them.

“Gav, why aren’t you wearing a shirt? Michael why are you in here?” he asked slowly.

“He was helping me find my shirt,” Gavin replied sheepishly, tugging the shirt over his head.

“Right, well, the mall is closing in thirty minutes, so if Michael wants to find something for himself he’s gotta start now,” he announced.

“I’ll go look,” he walked out with his head down going to join the others.

“Did I interrupt something?” Ray wiggled his eyebrows.

“No, shut up,” Gavin pushed him out and grabbed his new pants and shirt going to the checkout.

Ray smirked and skipped back to his boyfriend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who in the world is Jack seeing? Maybe she's a cute Australian, idk though. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I can't wait to get the next chapter out for you guys. Hope to hear from some of you!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys and gals! I finished this chapter earlier than expected so here you go! It's not as good as I hoped but I'm okay with it none the less. I hope to hear from some of you guys soon!  
> Warning: there is some homophobic language in this chapter.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“How the hell do I get the same locker every year?” Geoff asked, mostly to himself, as they walked down the hall on their first day. The other five were walking close behind him, reading numbers on lockers and trying to match them with the one on the paper the office had given them when they walked in.

“At least we’re all in the same hall this year,” Ryan laughed.

“It’s just so dumb, they give me the same one every year and then change one number in the combo,” he complained stopping at it and spinning the dial. “Hello again old friend,” he whispered.

“Oh sweet! Geoff,” Michael called out from directly across the hall. Geoff turned to see him standing next to an open locker putting his bag inside.

“Aye!” they heard down the hall, turning to see Gavin and Ray opening lockers right next to each other, giving each other a high five. Jack was a little further down from them and Ryan’s was across from him.

“This is gonna be a good year,” Geoff said to himself, smiling when he heard his name being yelled. He turned to see his girlfriend making her way down the hall, long legs and slim body strutting towards him with a grin on her face.

“Hey sweetheart,” she greeted kissing him on the cheek.

“Hey babe,” he held up a finger for her to wait while he pulled his schedule out.

“We have math together,” she declared, “maybe this year you’ll finally pass with something above a C,”

“I doubt it, if you’re in there it’s just a new distraction,” he whispered leaning in to kiss her neck.

“Geoff, the boys are watching,” she giggled pushing him away.

“You’re no fun,” he pouted.

“You weren’t saying that last night,” she winked, pushing past him to greet the other boys.

“We didn’t even see each other last night!” Geoff called out.

“It was a joke babe!” she called back, hugging Jack when he was close enough, “hey man! Ready for English class?”  

“Hell yeah,” he cheered.

“The bells gonna ring soo-“ Ray started but was interrupted by said bell. “Alright,” he said after, turning to take Ryan’s hand and head towards the second floor for history.

 _“Jack Pattillo please report to the grade office,”_ the announcements came on.

“What did you do?” Gavin teased turning away from Michael.

“Nothing,” he shrugged walking down the hall. “I’ll see you in class Griffon, see you at lunch Geoff,” he yelled back, running towards the grade office.

He strolled through the emptying halls at a steady pace, not in a rush to see the principal or to go to class, but when he walked into the office he stopped dead.

Standing in front of him was her. The girl from the library. Her hair was the same short brown and her eyes were still a piercing blue. She was wearing blue shorts and a white lace shirt and she was gorgeous.

“Ah, Mr. Pattillo, I was just telling Miss. Ward here about you,” their school secretary, Mrs. Gene, greeted gesturing to the girl.

“Hi,” she mumbled shyly, offering a small wave. She seemed to remember him too if the way her eyes lit up and her cheeks flushed was anything to go by.

“Hello,” he responded, giving her a smile.

“Caiti here is part of our schools exchange program, she’ll be joining us for the duration of this school year and possibly the next,” Mrs. Gene continued. “We thought that since you two have the same first block together maybe you should show her around, you’ve got a good record and we wanted a good seed to be her guide,” she elaborated.

“Uh, yeah sure,” he said in a daze.

“You’re first block teacher knows where you two are so we thought maybe you could take her on a little tour before going to class,” the woman said and then Jack was nodding and walking out of the room.

They walked quietly down the hall, Jack pointing out little things here and there about the classrooms or teachers. She listened intently, nodding along and asking questions here and there about the difficulty or the personality of the teachers.

“So where are you from?” he asked finally as they made their way up to the third floor for their class.

“Australia,” she answered.

“That’s awesome; I’ve always wanted to go there,”

“You should, it’s amazing,” she breathed.

“So, why Austin?” he inquired after.

“My dad lived her for a couple years, it’s where he met my mom,” she explained. “So I figured, why not?” she shrugged.

“Well, that’s cool. Do you know where in Austin they met?” he asked.

“Actually they met at the library, you work there right?” she tilted her head and watched him calculatingly.

“Yeah,” he said nervously.

“I love it there,” she gushed. “It’s so quiet and the people there are really nice,” she smiled softly at him.

“Yeah, it’s amazing, not many troublemakers go there cause, who wants to be caught in a library?” he rolled his eyes.

“Are they hiring?” she asked then, they had reached the classroom now, but neither of them made a move to enter.

“I think so, I can talk to my boss,” he stated.

“Oh would you? I’d love to work there,” she confessed.

“Yeah, I’ll talk to her tomorrow after school,” he promised. She beamed at him and he grinned right back, but still neither of them attempted to attend the class they were standing outside of.

“Are you from here?” she asked.

“Born and raised,”

“Are the people here nice? Like at the school?” she sounded nervous when she asked.

“For the most part they are, but there are the occasional assholes scattered around,” he told her. “They probably won’t mess with you; you seem like a nice person. They normally go for my friends anyway,” he explained.

“Well, if you see any of those assholes point them out to me,” she told him.

“Will do,” he smiled.

“Well, we uh, better get in there,” she gestured to the door. He nodded and opened it for her, apologizing to the teacher and introducing the two.

“Welcome Miss. Ward, thank you Jack,” the woman answered. “Sit wherever,” she waved around the room to the empty chairs.

Jack moved over to where Griffon was working, head down as she filled out a survey that they were given. He slid into the seat next to her and nodded in greeting.

“What was that about?” she asked once he was comfortable.

“I was showing Caiti around,” he wouldn’t look at her.

Griffon looked at him quizzically, looking over at Caiti and back again. “Oh my god, you’re blushing,” she cooed.

“Shut up,” he mumbled.

“This is adorable,” she leaned on her elbows looking back and forth between him and the Australian, thankfully Caiti didn’t notice.

“Griffon,” he warned.

“How do you know her?” she asked suddenly making his head snap up.

“What do you mean?” he questioned slowly.

“Well, didn’t you say something about a girl with short brown hair and blue eyes a few weeks ago?” she gave him a smug smile.

“Yeah,” he muttered.

“So? Is that her?” she urged. Jack took a deep breath and nodded, not meeting her eyes.

“Jack, this is like totally fate,” she squealed earning a strange look from their teacher. “Sorry,” she whispered ignoring the stares of the other kids around them, looking back to her desk.

They didn’t talk for the rest of the class because shortly after they were getting to know each other, setting their desks up in a circle and telling people about their summers.

Finally the bell was ringing and to Jack’s surprise Caiti was shuffling towards him timidly. “Could you show me where this room is?” she held out her schedule.

“Oh hey,” Griffon said looking over his shoulder, “that’s my next class, I’ll take you,” she smiled reaching a hand out for the girl. “I’m Griffon by the way,”

“Caiti,” the other said shaking her hand. “Uh, see you around then Jack,” she smiled, letting the other girl take her hand and lead her out of the room.

Jack watched them go with a smile on his face, _yeah, see you around._

~~~

He saw her again at lunch when Griffon quite literally dragged her over, sitting her next to the ginger haired boy and introduced her to the rest of the group.

“She’s in my first two classes, and she is my new best friend. Sorry Gav,” she announced sending a wink Jack’s way. Caiti sat awkwardly between him and Griffon, embarrassed smile on her face.

“Griffon how could you!” Gavin howled throwing his arm over his eyes and pretending to faint.

“Gavin, please excuse my girlfriend, she still loves you,” Geoff reached out for the Brit, tapping his free hand gently.

“I guess I can forgive you,” he sighed, “nice to meet you Caiti,” he finished.

“You too Gavin,” she answered and the Brit lit up.

“Finally!” he yelled, “another foreigner. You just became my best friend too,” he boomed, ignoring the groan of pain Michael let out next to him.

“You wound me Gav,” he clutched his chest.

“Oh stop,” he laughed.

“So Caiti,” Geoff began, turning the attention away from the bickering friends, “how do you like America?”

“I love it, the people here are a lot nicer than I thought they’d be,” she said, nondiscreetly looking at Jack.

“Yeah, Texas is awesome,” Gavin agreed.

“Have you ever seen a real kangaroo?” Ray asked suddenly, leaning forward from where he was on the other side of Ryan.

“Yes, many, they’re really cool,” she nodded with a small laugh.

The rest of their lunch was spent getting to know Caiti, explaining Gavin’s British slang to the best of their ability and letting her get used to the loud personalities of the others. Griffon and Gavin seemed to be the only ones that noticed how Jack was looking at her, amazed and intrigued, shy and also happy.

When the bell rang Caiti pulled her schedule back out to show Jack, and he took one look at it before asking who had math next block, when Michael, Geoff and Griffon raised their hands he handed the paper to them so they could look through. Turns out most of them had different teachers, Geoff and Griffon together in one end of the math wing, Michael, Lindsay and Meg in the other.

“You’re with me, Meg and Lindsay,” Michael informed her nodding to the redheads at the other end of their table. “Stick with me,”

“So Jack,” Ryan said once they were gone, the others still messing around, not quite wanting to go to class. Gavin stepped closer then and waggled his eyebrows.

“Not one word,” he warned face red.

“She’s pretty,” Geoff said casually.

“She likes you,” Griffon stated causing the other boy to choke on his spit.

“She doesn’t,” he said immediately.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, she was asking about you in second block,” the girl sang, picking up her tray and heading for the trash.

“Oh yeah? Like what?” he challenged following her over, the others trailing behind in interest.

“What you were like, if you were single, that sort of thing,” she smirked.

“I- really?” he whispered earning a nod from the blond girl.

“Really,” she told him.

“That’s just cause I’m the first person she’s met here,” he waved her off.

“That is absolutely not true,” Geoff argued, arm wrapped around Griffon.

“Jack,” Gavin said then. “You gotta ask her out,”

“She doesn’t even know me, there’s no way she’d date me,” he shook his head just as the warning bell rang.

“Just think about it,” Ray shrugged.

“Yeah, you guys can double with Geoff and I,” Griffon jumped excitedly.

“How come we never double with you?” Ray asked then turning to her with mock hurt.

“We’ll arrange something soon,” she patted his cheek and waved goodbye as she and Geoff made their way to math.

~~~

“Here you go,” Griffon handed Jack a slip of paper when she met him at his locker after the final bell.

“What’s this?” he looked at it suspiciously as he took it.

“Phone number from a cute girl,” she answered.

“Seriously?” his eyes snapped up to her.

“Yeah, she wanted you to have it,” she told him, shreiking when Geoff came up behind her and lifted her off the ground.

“You still coming over?” he asked kissing her cheek when he set her down.

“Yeah, aren’t we all?” she asked looking over at Ryan and Ray who were cuddled up by Ray’s locker, foreheads pressed together as they whispered sweet words.

“Yeah, now we just gotta find the other two dumbasses,” Geoff told her looking around the crowded hallways for any sign of Gavin or Michael.

“There they are,” Jack gulped pointing over to where the two boys were walking, side by side with Caiti.

“-so much fun,” Gavin was saying once he was within hearing range.

“I believe it,” she giggled resting her hand on Gavin’s shoulder.

“You should come by sometime,” Michael told her looking in Jack’s direction and sending a quick wink.

“I’ll think about it,” she told him. “I gotta go though, my lockers on the other side of the school and my guardians are already here,” she waved goodbye, catching Jack’s eye and smiling as she turned.

“What is she coming to?” Geoff asked then, looking at the two curiously.

“We thought maybe she could come by your house Friday night, Griffon too,” Gavin said cheerily earning agreements all around, except for Jack who was stood frozen and blushing in front of them all, mouth gaping like a fish.

“Guys, she just got here, we can’t just bombard her with friendship it might scare her off,” he spluttered.

“Actually, she told me in math that she was really excited to have made friends so quickly,” Michael pointed out. “She got along really well with Lindsay and Meg too, I think she’ll be just fine,”

“Yeah, she got here in the middle of summer and knew no one since it was too late for her to attend any camps or anything social,” Gavin added.

“Well guys,” Ryan butted in, “looks like we’ve adopted an Australian,”

“Aww we’re parents,” Griffon grabbed Geoff and Michael’s hands holding them close to her heart.

“Alright alright, stop being weird,” Jack piped up.

“Why are you so weird about this Jack? Don’t you like her?” Ray asked, head titled.

“I do, but I don’t wanna come on too strong, we just met,”

“Geoff asked me out fairly quickly,” Griffon told him with a smile.

“I know, but I’m not as straight forward as either of you,” he said defeated.

“We can work on that,” Griffon wrapped an arm around his shoulder and headed for the door, Geoff on her other side and the others trailing behind.

They piled into Geoff and Ryan’s cars and spent the drive to Geoff’s house talking about it since Griffon called Gavin and both put speaker on from opposite vehicles.

“Ask her out! Ask her out!” Ray had cheered for the entire call until finally Michael slapped a hand over his mouth from the back and muffled him until they got to Geoff’s.

When they got inside they scattered in the living room, laying in various spots and positions to get comfortable while they talked about their classes and teachers.

“Matt and Jeremy are in Gav and I’s math class,” Ray grumbled earning an alarmed look from Michael and Ryan.

“Why didn’t you guys say anything?” the redhead asked looking over at Gav.

“They didn’t cause any trouble, I don’t want you two getting involved for nothing,” Gavin explained reaching out to pat Michael’s hand.

“Yet,” Michael said, “they didn’t cause any trouble _yet_ ,” he growled.

“Yeah, next you’ll be saying Caleb is in your science class or something,” Griffon told him. She took one look at his face though and sprang up from where she was lying down. “Shut up!” she yelled causing everyone else to look at him.

“Not science,” he shrugged.

“Then what?” Ryan asked darkly.

“History,” he said sheepishly.

“Why don’t you tell us this stuff?” Geoff groaned.

“Cause it’s not a big deal, Meg, Tina and Lindsay are in there with me, they made sure he was on the other side of the room,” he shrugged.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” Michael threw a hand over his heart and sighed.

“Shut up,” Gavin laughed rolling on top of him.

“Gay!” Ray yelled causing Michael to laugh and wrap his arms securely around the other’s waist.

“Can we please go back to talking about Jack and Caiti now?” Gavin begged, voice muffled by the fabric of Michael’s shirt.

“No!” Jack cried.

“Oh yeah!” Griffon cheered.

“She’s the girl you saw at the library right?” Gavin asked.

“How did you know that?” Jack asked him.

“Lucky guess,” he said looking at Griffon.

“Yeah, she might get a job there,” he said quietly, not quietly enough though because Griffon was cooing at how adorable they were and Geoff was nodding impressed.

“Falling in love in a book shop,” Ryan said, “secret romance in the mystery section,”

“Why’s it gotta be a secret?” Geoff asked.

“I don’t know, that’s what they do in the movies,”

“Shut up oh my god,” Jack slapped his hands over his face and shook his head.

“You know what we should do?” Griffon lit up.

“What?”

“Geoff and I were gonna go laser tagging after school on Thursday, you should all come, and we’ll bring Caiti too, make it like a quadruple date,” she suggested.

“Sounds good to me,” Ryan looked over at Ray for confirmation and smiled when the other nodded eagerly.

“That okay with you Geoff?” Griffon asked then turning to her boyfriend.

“Hell yeah, we can play teams and kick all your asses,” he claimed.

“Perfect,” she leaned down to peck him on the nose, smiling wide at him.

“Someone text her,” Gavin said then, “We don’t know how her guardians are so maybe the more notice the better,”

“Smart Gavvy,” Geoff pointed at him.

“Jack, why don’t you do it,” Griffon insisted.

“Oh come on!” he whined.

“Just do it,” Michael slapped him on the back of the head.

“You guys all suck,” he fished his phone from his pocket and typed her number in; saving it in his contacts before texting her.

Within minutes he had a reply, a simple, _I would love to!_ And the others were cheering wildly, promising Jack that they’d behave and it would all be great.

He hoped they were right.

~~~

While Matt and Jeremy hadn’t done anything on the first two days of school they started on Wednesday. It seemed that every time they went too long without seeing Gavin and his friends they would go crazy with boredom. So now that they were all back in school and seeing each other on a regular basis it was like they had to make up for lost time. It began in math when they started crumpling up their notes and throwing them at the back of Gavin and Ray’s heads.

They ignored it at first, of course they did, but when one actually landed on Gavin’s desk with the word _fag_ written on it, well it was kinda hard to ignore. He set it aside and continued taking notes and writing down the problems on the board when another one landed in front of him, _fairy._ He took a deep breath and set it aside with the other, ignoring Ray’s questioning looks from beside him, but it wasn’t long before the dark haired boy was reaching across the gap and taking the wads of paper. He glared down at them hard; reaching his hand out for Gavin’s, but the other boy flinched back and kept his hand rooted firmly in his lap. Ray frowned but didn’t push him.

They suffered another twenty minutes of paper hurtling towards their heads, Gavin getting the majority of them, mean words scrawled across every single one, before Ray snapped and turned around chucking one back as fast as he could, hitting Jeremy in the face and earning multiple laughs from the other students. Gavin stared at him in shock shaking his head and mouthing _what the hell?_ Their teacher turned around and glared every laughing student down, asking politely what was so funny, but nobody said a word.

“Thought so,” she said mock sweet before turning back to the board. Ray spared a glance at the two Neanderthals behind them and smirked when he saw them staring hotly at him. He leaned back casually in his chair for the rest of the class, ignoring the concerned looks Gavin was sending him and the glares that were practically burning holes in the back of his head.

Finally the bell rang and they were free, rushing out of the room towards the cafeteria. Gavin bolted from his seat as soon as he could, bag slung over his shoulder, but when he noticed Ray taking his sweet time he stopped to make sure he would be okay when he noticed Matt and Jeremy still in their seats.

“Ray,” Gavin hissed, “Come on,” he nodded his head towards the hall when the other boy looked up at him, lazy smile on his face.

“Why the rush Gav?” he walked up to him slowly, slinging an arm around his neck and stepping into the hall.

“What the hell were you thinking?” the Brit snapped once they were in the hallway by their lockers, since they were the farthest from the cafeteria when lunch began they always showed up a few minutes late so Gavin knew the others wouldn’t come looking for them if something happened until at least the last ten minutes of lunch.

“You can’t let them get to you like that man,” Ray said seriously. “Don’t let them ruin the way you see yourself,”

“What are you on about? I didn’t care in the slightest,” Gavin waved him off, but Ray caught his hand in his and turned him to look at him.

“On Ryan and I’s first date this elderly couple walked in and glared at us because they were with their grandkids. I didn’t touch Ryan for most of the movie, I didn’t touch my own boyfriend because I was scared of what people thought of us, and then I realized, I don’t give a fuck, so I held his hand and kissed him whenever the fuck I wanted no matter where we were because my life is exactly that. Mine,” he finished.

“Ray-“ Gavin started but was cut off by an angry voice down the hall.

“Hey princess!”

Because it was five minutes into lunch most of the students in the entire school were packed in the cafeteria or outside on the benches, so there wasn’t anyone else in the hall that the two could’ve possibly been talking to. Gavin froze and looked at Ray, wide eyed and scared, looking for something to do, but the other boy turned to the jocks with a grin on his face.

“Hello boys, here for a blow job? I must warn you, my price has gone up since last year,” he greeted, Gavin’s mouth dropped open next to him but he ignored it.

“Disgusting,” Matt sneered as they walked closer. “I just wanted to warn you two not to pull that shit again,” he said.

“That’s not exactly fair is it?” Ray started, “you get to do it whenever you want, but as soon as someone plays your game you get scared. Why? Afraid you’ll get benched?” he smirked.

“Don’t push us Narvaez,” Jeremy warned getting in his face.

“Oh piss off Dooley, you’re a fucking loser, you barely even play in the games,” Ray snapped.

“Ray,” Gavin gasped.

The minutes of lunch were ticking away and Gavin knew it wouldn’t be long before Ryan and Michael came looking for them, and if they did find them in this situation it would only cause problems no one wanted.

“I’d stop now if I were you,” Matt advised then.

“Or what?” Ray challenged.

“You don’t wanna find out,” the other said, eyes narrowing.

“Mom always said I was a curious one,” he said cheekily.

“That’s enough,” Gavin spoke up finally, grabbing Ray’s arm and pulling him roughly in the direction of the café.

“Consider this your only and final warning!” Jeremy called after them. Ray rolled his eyes and lifted his middle finger in the air back at them, ignoring the growls they let out at it.

Finally they made it into the cafeteria, but before they got to the table Ray was grabbing Gavin’s wrist and forcing him to stop beside him. “Don’t tell them,” he said.

“Why not? They’d probably like to be prepared now for the beating you’re going to get later,” Gavin snapped.

“Gav, come on, I took care of things, don’t worry about it. If it gets bad I’ll tell Ryan,” he promised.

“Fine,” Gavin agreed walking to the table where the others were waiting.

“What took so long?” Michael asked watching them calculatingly.

“My stupid locker wouldn’t open, I had to put the combo in like thirty times,” Ray lied easily, kissing Ryan quickly and stealing a fry off his plate.

“We still on for laser tag tomorrow?” Geoff asked out of the blue. When everyone nodded he asked, “who’s coming with me and who’s going with Ryan?” he asked since they were the only two that actually had cars that were their own.

“I’ll take the lads and you can take Jack and the girls,” Ryan offered, earning nods.

“Then it’s settled,” Griffon clapped, “and I call red team!” she raised her hand.

“We need four teams of two,” Michael said. “Geoff and Griffon will obviously be together, same with Ray and Ryan, Gavin will be a piss-pot if he’s not with me so Caiti and Jack you two together? Is that okay?” he asked.

“Fine by me,” Caiti smiled over at the ginger haired boy.

“Sounds good,” he said nervously. Michael leaned back and smirked, throwing his arm over the back of Gavin’s chair, not catching the way he slid closer to the other edge of it away from the redhead’s reach.

He wouldn’t admit it to Ray, but the things that those guys had written had really bothered him. He was already self conscious enough at school after getting cheated on and having the whole student body know, so to also have two assholes calling him all the names under the sun really didn’t help. For now he decided that he’d lay low when it came to PDA with anyone, even if it wasn’t someone he was romantically involved with. He didn’t want to draw any unnecessary attention to himself this year.

Ray noticed though, because the Brit didn’t say more than ten words at lunch, and he didn’t let Michael play with his hands under the table like he usually did because the other was bored or distracted.

So when they finally got to English Ray sent him a stern look and nodded towards Michael. When Gavin still didn’t acknowledge anything was wrong Ray pulled his phone out and texted him.

_He’s your best friend and he's gonna start worrying. Don’t let those dick wads ruin it. You wanna cuddle up? Cuddle the fuck up Gav._

He saw the moment Gavin received it, watched him pull his phone out and read it under his desk while their teacher taught them about irony in famous pieces of literature. Gavin read it and stuffed it back in his pocket, not answering and not looking over at the other boy. Ray decided not to be mad for now; he’d probably be back to normal tomorrow.

~~~

He was in fact not back to normal the next day. They were pelted with papers again in math class while they did partner work, but before Ray could retaliate again Gavin’s hand was whipping out to grab his arm.

“Don’t you dare,” he enunciated each word, making sure Ray heard.

“Fine, but you can’t read any of them,” Ray said sternly.

“Fine,” the Brit said through gritted teeth, going back to his work.

When the bell rang though Gavin told Ray to go ahead since he wanted to talk to the teacher about some of the problems to make sure he had them right. Ray nodded suspiciously and walked out the door, but he turned around quickly, spying from the door as Gavin picked up the balls of paper and stuffed them in his bag, _probably for later,_ Ray thought. He rolled his eyes and made his way to the cafeteria, sitting down with a huff and ignoring the concerned look his boyfriend shot him.

“Don’t wanna talk about it,” he said when the blond opened his mouth to ask.

“Ray,” he said hurt, pulling back but keeping one hand in his boyfriends. The smaller boy instantly felt bad, reaching out to lay a hand on the blond’s cheek.

“I’m sorry, math just stresses me out,” he said easily, leaning in to kiss him.

“Do you wanna get together this weekend and work on it?” Ryan asked when they pulled away.

“Sure,” Ray smiled even though the things they were currently doing in math were easy for him, surprisingly.

The rest of the day went by surprisingly fast, when the final bell rang they were rushing to their lockers and then to the parking lot.

“We are gonna kick their asses!” Michael cheered once they were in the car, grabbing Gavin around the neck and ruffling his hair up.

“Michael!” he squawked, pushing the boy away and curling in on himself.

“Don’t be a baby,” Michael rolled his eyes after.

“What colors are we gonna be?” Ryan asked looking over at his boyfriend.

“Green because it’s the color of my favorite plant!” he yelled throwing his fist in the air.

“Christ,” Gavin mumbled.

“We’ll be blue Gav,” Michael said then, “and we will destroy,”

“We’re playing three games right? We can do a four team one and then two two team matches. I suggest us versus them and then one where we split the couples apart,” Ryan announced as he followed Geoff to the arcade.

They agreed and spent the rest of the ride in a calm silence, music playing softly as they were each left to their own thoughts, eventually Ray looked in the rearview mirror to see Michael reaching out for Gavin’s hand, surprised when the other boy actually let him take it, playing with his fingers and hand until he finally just held it. Gavin looked slightly uncomfortable at the gesture, but he didn’t pull away so Ray assumed it was a start. Or it was a ploy to keep Michael from getting suspicious since he was a lot more observant than they thought.

They pulled into the lot of the arcade and filed out of the car, making sure they each had their money on them and setting off. Since it was right after school on a Thursday there weren’t many people there which meant they pretty much had laser tag to themselves.

They took turns stepping up to the counter to pay, Geoff paid for him and Griffon, smiling at her as they walked into the dark room waiting for the others to follow. Ryan paid for him and Ray and followed the others in hand in hand. Michael surprised Gavin by slapping another twenty on the counter and pushing him aside when he tried to protest, then it was just Jack and Caiti standing awkwardly by the counter but before Caiti could hand over her money Jack was stepping forward and paying for her.

“Consider it my, welcome to our little gang, gift,” he told her when she looked at him surprised.

“Oh,” she smiled, “well, thank you,” she was blushing and so was he, but thankfully the room they entered was dark so the others couldn’t tell. There were black lights on so all they could see were white socks and white shirts.

“Alright guys, my name is Alex and I’m your guardian for today,” a dark haired boy greeted when he walked in. “Now this is the boring part where you have to watch a quick safety video and then you guys can go crazy,” he told them, hitting start on the remote in his hand and leaning against the door.

They pretended to be interested in the cheesy video stating that people with heart problems or people that were pregnant should not play. Griffon mockingly held her stomach and announced she had to go earning laughter all around and a concerned look from Alex. The video was over two minutes later and they were released into the next room, full of colorful vests and guns. They each picked the one they wanted for their team and made sure they were working, typing their names into the gun so they could see their scores.

“Remember, no running, and don’t be a camper, no one likes a camper,” Alex announced earning a high five from Ray on the way in. He stationed himself by the door as they spread out and then he hit start, listening to the music kick in and the intercoms welcome them to the game.

Ray and Ryan had a strategy, one they had spoken of the night before, while they hated when people camped in video games, and Alex had said not to, it was exactly what they were going to do. They held hands as they made their way to the top floor of the arena, positioning themselves behind a wall for cover. Ray’s job was to shoot those below them while Ryan provided him cover and watched the ramp for oncoming attackers.

Geoff and Griffon took a different approach, agreeing to stay on the bottom tier, hidden in the maze underneath the top floor so they couldn’t get sniped. They had their backs against a wall so they couldn’t get taken from the back and both of them faced a different direction ready to shoot.

Jack and Caiti decided to move quickly and hide behind every possible surface. They stayed close to each other and held their guns as close as possible. They were laughing at the ridiculousness of it all before the game even started, echoing throughout the room.

Gavin and Michael, as usual, had no game plan. They split up as soon as they entered, wishing each other luck, Michael wandering up to the top and Gavin staying on the bottom.

Surprisingly it was Caiti that got the first hit of the game, and it wasn’t like it was a skilled and calculated shot, no. Geoff was sneaking up on them, but when he tripped and bashed into the wall behind them, Caiti screamed, spun, and pulled the trigger all at the same time, somehow hitting Geoff and disabling his vest for five seconds, just enough time for Jack to grab Caiti’s hand and run away laughing. They made it all the way to the other end of the arena before ducking back behind a wall.

“That was awesome,” Jack laughed, not realizing he was still holding her hand.

“It was an accident,” she giggled back.

“That makes it even better,”

“It _was_ pretty cool,” she agreed.

“Yeah it was,” he looked down then to see her hand still securely wrapped around his, his face went red and he released her quickly with a quiet “Sorry,”

Before she could answer they were under attack, Gavin rounding the corner and shooting wildly with a screech. It took him a good five shots to actually hit Jack before hitting Caiti and running away. He didn’t make it far though because Griffon was soon on him, following him silently up the ramp to where Michael was in a shoot out with Ryan.

“Let’s join the fun upstairs,” Caiti ran ahead leaving Jack to follow.

The upper floor was chaos, somehow Gavin, Michael and Geoff and Griffon ended up working together side by side, apparently both teams pissed off at Ray’s sniping from above. They were both ducked around corners popping out to set their laser on one of the two boys and fire.

“Fucking campers!” Michael was yelling, pulling the trigger rapidly with no effect.

“Sucks to suck!” Ray yelled back, peeking behind the corner and hitting Geoff when he popped out seconds later.

“Let’s help them,” Caiti offered, waiting for Jack to nod before running through the walls, ignoring the betrayed shouts from Geoff and Griffon.

“Fuck you!” Jack yelled back, but he was soon shot, vest blinking yellow twice before going dark for five seconds, luckily it gave him just enough time to get side by side with Ray and Ryan.

The two boys sent them a thankful look and went back to shooting. They spent the last five minutes of the match on the top, shooting everything that moved and cheering when they got a hit, cursing when they were shot.

“That was sick!” Michael said when they walked out, full of adrenaline.

They stood outside the door and waited for their scores to pop up. Not surprisingly Ray was the top shooter of the game with over ten thousand points. Ryan followed shortly after. After that they were split, Geoff and Griffon in a close second, Gavin and Michael in third and Jack and Caiti in last, only behind by two hundred points.

“Let’s take a break before we jump into game two,” Geoff panted, going to the food hut for drinks.

After they all had a bottle of water and were sitting at the biggest table in the place they leaned back and talked about the game.

“Caiti, you no scoped me,” Geoff said amazed.

“What does that mean?” she tilted her head at him. Ray leaned over to explain it making her laugh. “Oh, then yeah I did,”

“Be more stealthy next time,” Griffon whacked him.

Everyone else laughed and continued sipping at their drinks. “So, we doing car teams next?” Gavin asked looking at Ray and Ryan.

“I say yes,” Jack announced.

“Sounds good, you losers are dead,” Geoff crossed his arms.

They walked into the first small dark room, complaining when Alex turned the video on for a second time. “Sorry guys, it’s my job,” they didn’t bother watching it, just whispered as quietly as possible to the person next to them until they were released into the vest room.

When the game started they split up, Griffon and Caiti on the floor with Ryan and Michael, Geoff and Jack on top with Gavin and Ray.

It was chaos from the start.

There was screaming and shouting from above them and Griffon decided that she and Caiti should split up, stay low and stay quiet.

It was a lot easier than they thought it would be. Michael was busy walking carelessly down the hall, Griffon finding him easily. She shot him in the back twice, ducking back behind a corner and waiting for him to make his way back, knowing his vest would be back on by the time he got there.

Caiti was faring well against Ryan. He had found her soon and shot her, but she got out of the hallway after that and waited until he thought it was safe and would walk right by. When he did she followed him almost the entire way before he turned around with the feeling of being followed, she shot him, sent him a wink and ran away, calling for Griffon.

Upstairs wasn’t much better. Gavin and Ray found themselves, literally, against a wall. Cornered almost as soon as the game started when Jack charged causing Gavin to back up until he tripped and crawled the rest of the way back to the wall.

Ray avenged him, shooting Jack and going to make sure Gavin was okay when he still didn’t get up not noticing the way he was shooting wildly to his left. When Ray came into view Geoff changed his target and shot him easily, chuckling as he stepped up, both he and Gavin were disabled at the time, Jack and Geoff blocking their escapes, guns raised.

“That’s bloody cheating!” Gavin pouted crossing his arms over his vest.

“The video said nothing about taking hostages,” Geoff shrugged with a wicked smiled.

“Oh Ryan! Michael! We have your teammates, surrender now or else!” Jack yelled, ending with a laugh, Geoff joining soon after.

“Dicks,” Ray mumbled, raising his gun when his vest came back on, ready to shoot Jack, but the ginger haired boy was faster.

“God dammit!” Gavin yelled, loud enough to be heard by the other four downstairs.

“My boi!” he heard Michael yell and then the thudding of footsteps coming towards the ramp.

“Don’t come up!” Ray yelled back, but it was too late, Michael was coming up and shot in seconds, of course being Michael he then dropped to the floor and clutched his chest.

“Gavin, I tried- I’m sorry,” he moaned, dropping face first on the floor.

“Idiot,” Ray muttered, Geoff and Jack were so focused on Michael though that it gave him just enough time to shoot both of them and grab Gavin’s hand, taking off for the ramp at the other end of the top floor.

“Michael run!” Gavin called back, seeing the other boy start to roll his way down the ramp.

They joined Ryan, Griffon and Caiti on the first floor, taking the two girls out quickly and finding cover. “What happened?” Ryan asked.

“Geoff and Jack are cheating,” Gavin explained, peeking behind the wall to scan the area.

“How so?” he looked at his boyfriend and smiled.

“Taking hostages, blocking escapes,” he ended with a yell when someone ran in front of them, barely a centimeter from Ray.

“There you guys are,” Michael said out of breath from running.

“Stick together,” Ryan said, eyes widening when he heard voices coming their way.

“How could you let them get away?” Griffon was asking. “It’s not hard to trap Gavin and Ray,” she scolded.

“Michael created a diversion,” Geoff whispered harshly.

They walked right by the hiding spot of the other four, Gavin and Ryan lifting their guns instantly to shoot them both. Snickering when they both jumped from shock and turned around to see who it was, running off when they saw it was all four and they couldn’t take them.

They had three minutes left in the game and they spent it in a mad dash for points. Gavin and Caiti ended up in a shoot out, laughing at each other every time their vest went black, neither of them running away, just waiting patiently. Michael managed to get Griffon cornered and shoot her about five times before Geoff was coming to her rescue, Ryan hot on his heels. Ray and Jack found each other, but both of them were too tired to actually go for skill or tactic, just deciding to let each other take turns getting points.

“No more cheating,” Gavin said when they got out after checking their scores. Geoff and Jack’s team won by a landslide, leaving Gavin and Ray a little minged off.

“Sure thing buddy,” Geoff winked.

“So how are we doing this?” Griffon asked. “Who’s with me and Caiti?”

“I’ll do it!” Gavin raised his hand.

“Me too,” Ray nodded.

“Aww what, they’re gonna kick our asses,” Geoff whined.

“Should’ve thought of that before you cheated,” Ray stuck his tongue out.

“Don’t worry Geoff, we can take ‘em,” Michael assured with a pat on the back.

“Alright, then I call a team meeting,” Geoff declared shooing the others away. The other four stood up and moved to a table across the building trying to come up with a strategy.

“Alright,” Geoff clapped his hands together. “So we can easily take them,”

“Duh,” Michael rolled his eyes.

“No like, here’s my suggestion. We all assign ourselves to a person on the team, we obviously know who that person will be,” he explained looking at Ryan. “Griffon can act mad, but if I corner her and do something cute she’ll get over it, I’m sure Ray’s the same,”

“So you’re suggesting we cheat?” Jack laughed.

“Precisely,” he nodded.

“You’re a dick,” Michael chuckled. “I’m in,”

“How do you propose we do this?” Ryan asked.

“Just, get Ray in a secluded place and work your magic, it’s his fault if he gets… distracted,” Geoff wiggled his brows.

“Christ,” Jack shook his head.

“Hey!” Griffon called out, causing several other people to turn to her. “You losers ready?” she stood from the table.

“Hell yeah,” Geoff slammed his hands on the table and stood, leading the way.

“I’m not gonna bother with the video again,” Alex said when he entered after them. “You aren’t gonna follow the rules anyway and I really don’t care,” he said unlocking the second door.

“You’re the real MVP,” Ray told him when they got their vests on.

“Yeah yeah,” he smiled, he made sure they each had their vests on correctly and then he was releasing them into the arena.

Griffon disappeared as soon as they entered; knowing Geoff would be trying to keep an eye on her. Gavin was the next to bolt from the group, slipping away behind a wall and entering a dark hallway with little nooks to hide in.

“Fuck,” Michael whispered mostly to himself when the game began. Of course the other team was planning something while they were alone, but Michael’s only job was to keep an eye on Gavin and he was already fucking it up.

“How the hell did they do that?” Geoff asked spinning in a circle to look for his girlfriend.

“Looks like they had a plan too,” Ryan smirked at him when he noticed that Ray too was gone without a trace.

“Stick to the plan, find your target and go for it, call out if you find one of the others,” Geoff ordered raising his gun and turning to the right.

“Gotcha,” Jack turned to the left and took off. Michael close behind him, taking the ramp and wishing the other luck. Ryan strolled casually throughout the maze, checking behind walls and corners keeping his gun ready.

It wasn’t long before he found someone, Gavin was creeping around corners with his back to Ryan, _too easy,_ in one fluid motion Ryan aimed and fired causing Gavin to jump and spin around, gun raised and useless.

“Michael!” Ryan shrieked at the top of his lungs to be heard over the music blaring in the room. Gavin looked at him quizzically before taking in the devious grin on his face.

“You’re bloody insane,” he yelled making a mad dash for the ramp. Ryan was right behind him though, staying close until they could find Michael. Unsurprisingly Gavin managed to find him in seconds, crashing into him and sending them both tumbling to the floor. _It’s like they have a sixth sense when it comes to the other,_ Ryan laughed. Michael recovered from the fall quickly, spinning them over so Gavin was underneath him and knocking his gun away, they wrestled violently, Gavin reaching for his gun only for Michael to slap his hand away.

“Bitch!” Gavin cried, pushing at the other’s shoulders and kicking wildly, he was saved when Michael was shot from behind, they stopped to see Ray holding his gun up with a smirk, he made eye contact with Ryan and pretended to blow smoke off the weapon and then he was bolting off leaving his boyfriend to follow.

“You good?” he asked Michael who grabbed his gun off the floor and shot Gavin the second he lit up again.

“I’m fine,”

“You’re cheating again!” Gavin thrashed against him, laughing when Michael started tickling him with one hand, other still wrapped around his weapon waiting for Gavin’s green vest to come back on.

Ryan left the two then, taking off after Ray at an alarming speed, he passed Jack on the way and sent him a wave when he saw Griffon creeping down the hall. Jack called Geoff’s name as loud as they could, hearing a ‘fuck’ from across the arena.

Ryan was so distracted that he ran right into Ray who was stood at a dead end, sheepish smile on his face. Still he was faster than Ryan and shot him, smirking and going to walk around him when his boyfriend grabbed his wrist and pulled him back, stepping up so Ray’s back hit the wall.

“Hello,” the smaller boy gulped.

“You shot me,” Ryan said offended.

“Love is a battlefield,” the other pointed out.

Ryan hummed with a smile and leaned in to kiss Ray, hoping it would throw the other off guard for when his vest came back on, but Ray was smart. He kissed Ryan back with passion, figuring, _fuck it; we’re in a dark secluded area._ He was rough, sucking on the blonds bottom lip and fisting his hand, that wasn’t holding the gun, in the other’s sweatshirt.

Ryan was getting into it, forgetting their surroundings for just a moment, but it was exactly the moment Ray needed because suddenly he was pulling away and looking up at Ryan through his lashes, Ryan looked right back, curiosity in his eyes, but then he heard the familiar _pew pew_ of their guns and his vest went dark.

“You little shit,” he breathed.

“Love you,” he sang, walking around him and disappearing for the remainder of the match.

Michael was luckier than Ryan having found Gavin so soon, he had been on the other boy for most of the match when Griffon and Caiti came to the Brit’s rescue, Caiti shooting and Griffon tackling him. Gavin rolled away and left with Caiti after Griffon assured them she’d be fine. That she’d meet them in two minutes down stairs. Michael looked up to see Geoff peeking from behind a corner, he nodded at Michael and then Michael was stepping away from the girl and going after the other two.

Griffon went down the other ramp hoping to intercept them but was stopped when she was grabbed and pulled back, hitting a wall and having her gun pinned by her side.

“You play dirty,” she told her boyfriend with a halfhearted glare.

“You didn’t complain last round,” he teased.

“Yeah, cause we were winning,” she said honestly.

“That sucks,” he told her, leaning in to kiss her.

“Oh no,” she turned her cheek to him, “you don’t get to pull that if you aren’t gonna play fair,”

“Aww come on,” he pouted.

“Well…” she said after scanning her surroundings, watching as Ray came up the ramp quietly, aimed and ready to shoot her boyfriend in the back.

“Yeah?” he asked hopefully. She smiled and jumped up, wrapping both legs around his waist throwing him off guard, he let go of her arms and placed his hands under her bum to keep her balanced.

“Wait, Geoff,” she blurted suddenly, pulling away from him.

“What?” he asked patiently.

“Put me down real quick, my legs fucked up,” she told him, when her feet were safely on the floor she turned and legged it yelling, “shoot!” and then Geoff’s red vest was powering down.

“Dirty tactics!” he yelled chasing her down.

“You started it!” she called over her shoulder, shooting Michael when he ran by.

It was the last seven minutes of the game when Jack finally found Caiti. Well, more, she found him really. He was doing another loop of the ground floor when she spotted him, she had just saved Gavin from Michael and the two had split when they reached the bottom tier. She was cautious when she started following Jack, until she decided to have more fun. She shot in front of him, letting him hear it and see the small red dot that was her aiming. He turned around to look for the source, but she was quick to duck back, so he started making his way back down towards her.

When he passed by her she took her chance, leaping onto his back and wrapping herself around him like a koala. “Hi,” she whispered in his ear when he jumped, almost dropping her but quick to steady himself.

“Caiti?” he asked, face instantly coloring.

“Who else has an accent?” she giggled.

“Gavin,” he deadpanned.

“Not an Australian one,”

“You didn’t say Australian, you just said accent,” he pointed out.

“I guess you’re right,” she said dropping off of him and shooting him.

“No fair!” he yelled after her when she ran away. Her laughter was the only thing he focused on, the way her eyes had crinkled as she smiled right before taking off.

He followed her up and down ramps moving as fast as he could until they were both sweaty and out of breath. He didn’t mind though, because she finally ran herself into a corner, turning to smile at him timidly. He raised his gun to shoot her, but before he could pull the trigger the music was ending and all their vests were powering down while the intercoms thanked them for playing and told them to check their scores outside.

“In your face!” she cheered loudly, grabbing his hand and running for the exit, meeting up with Ray and Gavin on the way and talking about how amazing they all did.

He was the last one out of the room and was met with the disappointed looks from his teammates. “We lost,” Geoff told him, arms crossed.

“That’s what happens when you don’t work as a team,” Griffon flipped him off before kissing him on the cheek.

“What now bitches!” Gavin yelled, high fiving his teammates.

“I’m beat, can’t wait to crash into my bed,” Caiti said then, hand still in Jack’s, _we’ve been doing that a lot,_ Jack smiled.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Geoff pulled his keys from his pocket and lead the way to the car.

“Sore loser,” Gavin called after him, getting elbowed in the side by Michael.

“I am not, I just don’t appreciate tricksters,” he glared at his girlfriend and Ray.

“Double standards,” Griffon sang skipping ahead of him.

“Alright,” Ryan said then. “I’m gonna take these guys home and crash, goodnight guys, thanks for coming with Caiti,” he smiled at her getting into his car.

They all said their goodnights and then they were gone, speeding down the highway and winding down from the adrenaline knowing that this was all they’d be able to talk about tomorrow at school too.

~~~

The next night they found themselves at Geoff’s house, each of them curled up with blankets and hot chocolate while they watched _Friends_. Griffon and Caiti decided to join them this time, settled in on the couch with Geoff and Jack. It was pouring rain outside, thunder and lightning every few minutes.

“So you guys just do this every week? And your parents don’t mind?” Caiti asked them all between episodes.

“We’ve been doing it since like sixth grade so it’s kind of tradition and it gives our parents a break,” Michael told her, reaching across Gavin for the giant bowl of popcorn on the table.

“That’s awesome, my parents would’ve killed me for even asking to have five other people over,” she laughed.

“That’s too bad, you’ll have to sleep over my house sometime soon,” Griffon told her.

They were quiet for a while, watching another three episodes with commentary here and there, before they started yawning and curling up in their sleeping bags.

“It’s way too early guys!” Geoff said throwing popcorn down at Gavin.

“The first week of school always takes a toll on you,” Michael told him, closing his eyes and pulling the blanket around him tightly.

“You guys are lame,” Griffon rolled her eyes.

“Goodnight,” Gavin said curling into Michael’s chest.

“Whatever,” Jack laughed.

“Actually they might have the right idea,” Caiti said stretching and yawning.

“How about I take you ladies home?” Geoff asked, getting nods and standing up, “Jack wanna come along?” he asked. The other nodded eagerly and stood up stretching with everyone else.

“We’ll probably be asleep when you get back so goodnight,” Ryan waved as they walked up stairs.

“No banging in my house!” Geoff called down before shutting the door.

They spent the drive blasting cheesy pop music and screaming at the top of their lungs, windows down and hands stuck out to feel the wind. Geoff dropped Caiti off first, listening to her as she shouted directions to him from the back seat. They ended up in a fancy neighborhood with big houses and yards, Caiti had him stop at the last one on the left of the street, getting out and rushing to the porch through the rain.

“Jack this is your chance,” Griffon told him while they watched. Jack looked at them hesitantly. They were smiling and nodding in encouragement, so Jack took a deep breath and opened the car door.

“Caiti!” he had to yell to be heard over the rain smashing against the pavement.

She turned around and stepped down into the rain since he made no move to get on the dry porch. “What is it?” she had to tilt her head down to keep the water from getting into her eyes or mouth.

“I uh-“ Jack stuttered. “I was wondering if you wanted- do you maybe?” he stopped and took a deep breath before calming down and looking right at her. “Do you wanna go out with me sometime? I know we haven’t known each other long but I wanna get to know you,” he said finally. Her mouth dropped and her face colored a dark pink, but she didn’t answer. “You don’t have to!” he said quickly shaking his hands in front of him.

“No, no,” she shook her head, “I want too, I just didn’t think you’d ask so soon,” she smiled.

“Was it too soon?” he asked worried.

“No not at all,” she told him. Her hair was matted to her face now, wet and dripping along with her clothes and Jack was sure he didn’t look much better. Still though, he leaned forward and pulled her into a hug, wishing her a goodnight and returning to Geoff’s car. He didn’t actually get in until Caiti was safely inside, he sighed happily and slid into the backseat to be met with the grinning faces of Geoff and Griffon.

“So it went well?” she asked as Geoff backed out of the driveway.

“Yeah, it went well,” he grinned, “I’m gonna text her tomorrow for details,”

“You’re such a dope,” Geoff chuckled.

“Can you blame him?” Griffon cooed. “This is adorable, we’re gonna have the most amazing double dates,”

Both boys agreed with her, but the conversation was dropped shortly after when they realized that talking was not something Jack wanted to do at the moment. He just wanted to lean back with that stupid grin and think about all the possibilities.

“Alright Gents,” Griffon sighed getting out of the car when they arrived at her house.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, goodnight,” Geoff called after her, motioning for Jack to move to the passenger seat.

They waited until she was safely inside before driving away, but at the end of the street they turned left instead of right.

“Where are we going?” Jack looked over at his best friend curiously.

“For a ride, everyone else is asleep so it’s not like they’re waiting up for us,” the older boy shrugged.

“Alright,”

They didn’t speak again until they got to the gas station; Geoff threw Jack a ten dollar bill and told him to get him a drink. It was nearing midnight when Jack walked in, rubbing at his eyes and yawning. The woman behind the counter gave him a snooty look, probably figuring he was on drugs but Jack didn’t let it bother him.

He returned to the car just as Geoff finished pumping gas. He handed him his change and drink and got in. They drove another fifteen minutes before Geoff came to a stop in the parking lot of their elementary school.

“Why here?” Jack asked him when they stepped out, climbing onto the roof of the car.

“I was feeling nostalgic,” was his reply.

“So…” Jack said with a whistle.

“What are your plans for after high school?” Geoff blurted.

“Collage, why?” he looked over at him, but the other wasn’t looking back, just staring at the stars above them.

“We all have such different personalities and goals, I’m just worried about what we’re all gonna do after school ends,” he shrugged.

“I’m sure we’ll all end up at collage together,” the other reassured. “We always end up together,”

“Exactly. We always end up together, I don’t want us to regret anything,” he explained.

“Why does it seem like everyone is so worried all the sudden? We’ve known each other for six years, there’s no way any of us regret a thing. Ryan found Ray, and Gavin found Michael, you and I found each other, and now Griffon and Caiti,” he rambled. “I don’t think we can have regrets at this point,”

“No way out,” Geoff mumbled.

“You’re stuck with us,”

“Well, I’m glad,” Geoff answered.

“Plus we have another two years before we start worrying about that,”

“Yeah,” Geoff whispered.

They don’t know how long they sat there on the roof, talking about school and love and the boys back at Geoff’s house sleeping soundly, but the world was silent around them, the occasional car speeding by down the road. Jack took the time to really think about his future, he knew he wanted Geoff there, that was his main wish, but he also wanted Ryan and Ray there, and as much as they annoyed him he knew he’d be lost without Michael and Gavin.

“I think… I think whatever happens in the future will be okay,” he said suddenly.

“Yeah?” Geoff asked quietly.

“Yeah, I know I’ll still be around and I think it’s safe to speak for the others,” he told him. Geoff hummed to show he heard him, but he didn’t say anything else. He did however reach over and pat Jack’s arm gently before pushing himself off the car and going to get in.

“Let’s get home,”

So Jack climbed off the car and slid in, buckling up and rolling his window down. They made it home quickly; tip toeing down the stairs to find all the others huddled on the floor, not in their normal spots.

“It’s like a big gayfest,” Geoff whispered when they saw them all. Michael was on the end, wrapped completely around Gavin as always, in front of Gavin was Ray and they were face to face, foreheads just barely touching. Ryan had his arm thrown over Ray’s stomach, resting against Gavin’s arm.

“Yeah it is,” Jack chuckled.

“We’re totally joining right?” Geoff asked then, already holding a blanket and pillow.

“Of course,”

Geoff laid on Michael’s other side, grabbing Jack’s arm and pulling him down next to him when he made to go to Ryan. “Bitch, you’re my cuddle buddy tonight,”

“Oh?” Jack smirked.

“After that heart to heart we just had we are definitely cuddling tonight if not banging,” he teased.

“We absolutely aren’t banging,” Jack said, but he did settle in next to Geoff, jumping when Geoff actually laid his head over Jack’s heart. “Oh we’re really doing this?” he laughed.

“I’ll be yours for the night,” Geoff said wistfully giving Jack a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

“Shut up,” he swatted at him, pushing him back down.

“I can’t wait for you to tell them in the morning that you asked her out,” Geoff giggled.

“Me either,” Jack smiled.

“Can you two shut the fuck up?” Michael hissed at them, turning his head towards them.

“Sorry,” the eldest whispered.

“We’ll go to sleep now,” Jack added.

“Thank you,” the redhead mumbled, turning back to Gavin. “Oh and Jack?”

“What?” he asked.

“Congrats,” he said, smile evident in his voice.

“Thanks Michael,”

“Goodnight,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there ya go! Caiti is officially in. I have been waiting to get her in there for so long, I should've added her sophomore year really, but too late for that. I hope you guys enjoyed it and I hope to hear from some of you soon!  
> Heads up the next chapter is a little time jump, only a month, and it's the first party of Junior year!


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It physically pained me to write this one. A lot of things in this chapter weren't really planned, or at least, weren't supposed to happen in THIS chapter, still though I am happy with the way it turned out. Can't promise you guys will be....  
> Anyway! How about that X-Ray and Vav season 2 opener eh? Pretty great.  
> Hope you all enjoy and I hope to hear from some of you soon!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

The first month of junior year flew by, each of them focused on making good impressions on their teachers and working as hard as they could. When they weren’t at school they were at work, frantically trying to make money and save up for cars or the future or whatever. After work they’d usually end up at a friend’s house, curled up in bed and talking about their day.

Geoff and Griffon had never been happier, finding a schedule that worked for both of them, they’d talk on the phone every night at eight and she’d go to his house every Saturday at noon and stay for the day. They had plenty of alone time and plenty of fun, sometimes they’d go out with Caiti and Jack too, movies, dinner or the mall and just spend time with each other. The boys secretly thanked God that their girlfriends got along so well, worried that they would’ve hated each other eventually.

Things with Jack and Caiti were going well, great in fact. They were still getting used to things, Caiti trying to understand the area and Jack was never too busy to take her out sightseeing, borrowing his mom’s car and picking her up. He had met her host family a few times and was glad that they adored him, trusting him to take care of Caiti and get her home on time.

The guys were all ecstatic for him too, seeing how happy the girl made him when they were together and how they’d send each other cute messages when they were apart. Still, that didn’t mean they didn’t tease him relentlessly about every little thing.

“What do you mean you haven’t kissed yet?” Michael had asked one night, looking as if he were personally offended by the statement.

“We haven’t been together that long and we’re each other’s first relationship, we don’t wanna rush things,” he explained shrinking back under their judging stares.

“Dude, you’ve been together a month,” Geoff pointed out.

“Yeah, come on man, lay one on her!” Ray yelled, throwing popcorn at him.

“Guys come on,” the ginger haired boy whined.

“Yeah leave him alone,” Gavin chimed in.

“Leave ‘im alone!” Geoff cried in a cheesy British accent, falling back on the couch to lean against Ryan.

“Don’t start this shit,” Jack defended, throwing the boy a grateful smile.

“Yeah, let’s talk about how Jack hasn’t kissed his girlfriend yet,” Michael laughed.

“I kissed Griffon way before a month,” Geoff said smugly.

“I kissed Ryan before we were even together,” Ray announced throwing his arm around said boy. Ryan shrunk under his arm, awkward smile on his face; Jack wasn’t paying much attention though.

“So? Just because you guys can go around kissing whenever you want doesn’t mean I can. We have limits and boundaries and I don’t wanna push her,” he snapped then, making the others back off.

They didn’t mention it again that night, but it still lingered in the back of Jack’s mind. The truth was that Jack had never done anything with anyone, didn’t know what the proper time line was for a relationship. When he said he didn’t want to push Caiti he really meant he didn’t want to push himself, and yes, he wanted to kiss her, God did he want to, but he also didn’t want to disappoint her which was his biggest fear.

Two nights later he was calling Gavin and asking if he wanted to go for a ride. He said yes instantly and then Jack was speeding over to get him. They drove until they reached their school, parking under the shady tree by the main entrance.

“So what’s going on?” Gavin asked as soon as the car was off.

“What? I can’t just go for a drive with my best friend?” he replied.

“You can, but Geoff isn’t here,”

“You’re my best friend too Gav,”

“Only when you need something,” he teased. “Seriously what’s going on?”

“You were the only one that wasn’t attacking me the other night, I wanted to thank you,” he shrugged.

“So you kidnapped me in the middle of the night to tell me that?” Gavin teased.

“And to get your opinion on the issue?” he asked unsurely.

“Thought so,” the Brit smirked.

“What do you think I should do?” he leaned back in his seat. Gavin reclined his seat all the way back, turning to face Jack and curl up like he was going to take a nap.

“I think you need to stop listening to the others and letting it affect you,”

“What do you mean?” Jack tilted his head back.

“You’re over thinking it,” he shrugged. “Just kiss her when the timing is right. If she’s sitting next to you and her face is close, just go for it. The worst thing that can happen is she backs up and you pretend she had an eyelash on her cheek,” he winked.

“That’s… that’s not a horrible idea,” he laughed.

“That’s what I did the first time I kissed Meg,” he stated.

“Seriously?” Jack deadpanned.

“Yeah, I got close and she didn’t move so I thought she wasn’t into it. So I brushed my thumb under her eye and said she had an eyelash,” he laughed at the memory, the raised eyebrow she gave him.

“And then what happened?”

“She grabbed me by the color of my shirt and pulled my mouth to hers,” his shoulders shook as he laughed.

“So it did work, but it didn’t work?” Jack asked confused.

“Well, it definitely worked, just wasn’t needed,” he shrugged one shoulder. “Look, just go with it, she likes you,”

“You really think so?”

“She liked you the second she met you,”

“God,” he sighed, “I don’t know what I’m doing,”

“No one does,” the brunet said simply.

“Obviously Geoff and Ryan do!” he exclaimed throwing his hands up, bashing his knuckles off the roof of the car on accident.  He pulled his hand back instantly, rubbing it against his shirt while he whined and Gavin laughed hysterically.

“You’re an idiot,” he laughed. “But to answer that, they don’t know what they’re doing either,”

“How do you figure?” Jack asked, looking down to check on his knuckles.

“They may have kissed their significant others, but at one point in their lives they didn’t know how to either. They didn’t know when to kiss them or hold their hand or hug them. It’s not a big deal, so you took a little longer than them, big deal. Watch them cower in fear when they want to have sex,” he laughed.

Jack didn’t say anything for a long time, thinking over the other boy’s words carefully before sitting up and turning the car back on.

“Yeah, you’re right,” he said. “Thank you,” he added.

They drove home in silence.

A few nights later Geoff was arriving at Jack’s house after work, slipping while Jack was in the kitchen doing homework.

“What’s up?” Jacked looked up, unfazed by his friends sudden appearance.

“We gotta talk about this kiss thing,” he demanded, pulling a chair up next to him.

“Why?” Jack groaned, hitting his head on the table.

“You know why,” he deadpanned.

“I actually don’t considering it’s my relationship and you should stay out of it,”

“This is why we gotta talk. You’re getting all worked up about it, has Caiti said something?” he asked gently.

“No why?”

“Well, you were so excited about her being here and saying yes and all that jazz, why won’t you kiss her?”

“I don’t… I don’t know how?” it was more of a question than a statement.

“You don’t know how?” Geoff echoed.

“No,” the other admitted, head down. “I’ve never kissed anyone, I don’t know how to,”

“How do you not know how to kiss, just pucker up and smash your faces together,” he explained.

“Sounds like you don’t know how to kiss either,”

Yeah, I’ve only been doing it for two years,” the older rolled his eyes.

“Look, I’ll do it, just, why are you so worried about it,”

“You’re my best friend; we go on double dates and help each other out, so I’m helping you out,”

“You suck at it, stop,” Jack told him, turning back to his math homework.

“What about the Halloween party next week?” Geoff jumped suddenly.

“What about it?”

“You’re always sober, I assume she will be too, kiss her then,”

“Oh my God Geoff,” he sighed. “Fine, if it’ll make you happy I’ll kiss her,”

“I don’t want it to make me happy; I want it to make you happy,”

“It’ll make me happy if you would all stop talking about it,”

“Then fucking do it,”

“You suck you know that?”

“It’s because I care,”

“I would’ve never guessed,”

“Shut up,” Geoff laughed, “hey since you’re already working on math…” he trailed off.

“Which one do you need help with?”

“All of them?” he smiled innocently.

“God dammit, tell your parents you’re spending the night,”

~~~

“Wait, so the party is at Joel’s house? Shouldn’t he be in college?” Ray asked, leaning against the table.

“He got kicked out,” Ryan said simply, not taking his eyes off his homework in front of him.

“Really? Why?” he leaned forward, interest piqued.

“Don’t know,” the blonde muttered, flipping through his text books, ignoring the annoyed look his boyfriend sent him.

“So what time are you gonna pick me up for Jack’s?”

“Whenever,” Ryan said casually, still scribbling away at his papers.

“Okay,” Ray started, clicking his tongue in annoyance. “So, your parents aren’t home,”

“I’m aware,” he deadpanned.

“Good,” Ray nodded, “then let’s have some fun,” he tapped his feet on the ground.

“Ray, I have to get this done,” the other boy said, still not looking at him.

“Come on Rye, live a little,” the smaller boy then climbed out of his chair and into Ryan’s, positioning himself on the older boys lap and kissing along his neck. Ryan didn’t put his hands on his hips like he normally would’ve, didn’t touch him or kiss him at all, but the moan he let out when Ray bit down lightly kept him going.

It didn’t last long though since the blond was quickly snapping out of it.

“Ray,” he said warningly, moving his head so his neck was harder to access. Ray liked challenges though, moving his head to the other side and kissing him there instead. “Ray,” Ryan pushed at his shoulders then, making him lean back.

“What?” he muttered, wrapping his hands around the other boy’s wrists.

“Stop,” he glared, eyes finally resting on Ray.

“Fine,” Ray shrugged, crawling off of him and grabbing his jacket.

“What are you doing?” Ryan sighed, dropping his pencil.

“I’m gonna head out, I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said quickly, grabbing his shoes and throwing them on sloppily.

“I’ll drive you,” he made to stand but Ray was quickly standing behind him, pushing on his shoulder so he’d sit back down.

“Don’t worry about it, I’m gonna walk over to Michael’s,” he told him.

“I don’t like you walking alone,”

“It’s not even dark,” Ray argued waving him off.

“Ray-“

“No, you’re busy; I’ll text when I get there,”

“Okay, if you’re sure,” he told him, going back to his work. He was expecting a kiss on the cheek, like Ray always gave him when they said goodbye, but he was being a dick lately, so he shouldn’t’ve been surprised when he got nothing.

He made it ten minutes before throwing his homework away from him, having already completed it the night before. He stood from the table and grabbed his sweatshirt and shoes, getting ready and then heading out. He turned right since Michael’s house was left and he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be seen.

He walked straight and kept going, houses and shops, cars and streets passing in blurs. He walked by the elementary school, the middle school and the high school. The sun had set by the time he reached the park on the other side of town, settling in on the swings and dragging his feet through the wood chips.

“Fuck,” he sighed, leaning his head against the metal chains holding him up.

He felt awful. He’s been acting like a prick for weeks now and Ray was getting to a tipping point with it, he could tell.

The year had started off with a bang for Ryan, he was doing well in all his classes, he got a raise at work and he was having a great time with his boyfriend, who he loved more than anything.

This soon turned into a problem for Ryan.

Texas wasn’t the most accepting state, so no matter how long Ray and Ryan had been together and no matter how much they loved each other, they didn’t feel comfortable with public displays of affection. It was more Ray than Ryan, but they both played a part.

So a few days after Jack and Caiti started dating is when the doubts began. Sitting at a table with other couples, couples that were allowed to touch whenever they wanted without getting second looks or deadly glares, it was hard. When Ray would get there he’d normally offer him a quick peck and then spend most of the meal talking to Gavin and Michael, sometimes if the two of them were cuddled up Ray would let himself be pulled into his boyfriend, but most of the time he ended up leaning away to hear whatever hot conversation was going on that day.

“Do you guys really need to make out while we eat?” Michael snapped one day.

“It’s our two year anniversary, lay off,” Griffon swatted at him.

“Ray, Ryan, isn’t it like your six month anniversary? Shouldn’t you be doing that?” Michael asked innocently, head tilted and eyes wide.

“Yeah, you’re funny,” Ray said humorously, looking at his boyfriend blankly. “Should we like, totally make out right now?” he asked in a high voice, twirling his imaginary hair.

“Well, I mean,” Ryan said casually, wiggling his eyebrows. Ray however did not give him a peck or reach out for him. He simply rolled his eyes and focused his attention back on Gavin.

So that was the first thing. The second problem Ryan was having was, well, his own insecurities.

Movie nights were the best part of their week, time for them to relax and talk and just be themselves without the worry of school or work. They could just, be. Ray and Ryan could kiss and cuddle and no one would bat a lash unless it was Geoff just being a dick, but other than that they were all free to do what they wanted. Lately though, Ray had been more closed off and weird. He and Gavin seemed to be a lot closer, always sitting next to each other during movies and whispering or texting while Ryan tried to keep his boyfriends attention on him.

It was a lost cause really because all Ray wanted to do was talk to Gavin; wrap himself around Gavin who was looking down most days. Ryan knew there had to be a reason, they showed up late to lunch most days and some days they were really late, and when they’d arrive at lunch they were silent. Only offering one word answers before looking back to their trays. Sometimes Ryan would catch them staring at each other, Ray’s eyes hard and narrow, Gavin’s wide and pleading but in the end neither spoke.

If Ryan asked about it he wouldn’t get an answer, just a shrug and a “Don’t know what you’re talking about babe,” and that would be that. Ray was hiding something big from him if it was enough to affect Gavin the way it was. It seemed like every day he came to school looking worse and worse, eyes sometimes red and bloodshot, a sign he had spent the night crying, but most of the time he just came to school with dark bags under his eyes like he hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep.

Michael and Geoff noticed too, spent most of their mornings before class talking to the Brit and asking him what he did the night before to stay up so late. Michael started doubling up at lunch because he knew that Gavin would be late as it was, missing all the good pizza, and that he’d be too distracted to eat anyway.

Whenever someone tried to talk to him about it though he would just wave them off, say he was watching movies or playing games all night even though Michael would later swear that he logged off hours before Michael ever did.

Ryan knew about their kiss, it was years ago though, so he had no reason to worry, right? Right. Well maybe, Gavin wasn’t even as clingy with Michael anymore. The redhead would wrap an arm around him and pull him close but Gavin would quickly flinch away, not just in public either. At many sleepovers lately Michael would find himself sitting alone on the floor while Gavin repeatedly left the room for the bathroom or a drink, occasionally Ray would join him, and they’d come back silent but Gavin would sit calmly on the couch with Geoff and Jack, far from Michael, ignoring the concerned looks everyone was giving him.

Ray would never cheat. That Ryan knew as a fact. Still that didn’t stop him from having fears. Even if they never did anything, well, they could still fall for each other. That was possible. Ray was amazing, easy to fall in love with, fun and smart and _perfect._ Ryan didn’t have feelings for Gavin, never did, never will, but he could admit that the lad was handsome, funny, smart, and kind, and for some reason that terrified Ryan, because Ray deserved someone like Gavin.

Someone that was loving and would drop anything for him in seconds. Someone that would hold him every night and stay up late talking to him, and Ryan had done all of that in the past, but now. Now was different. He just didn’t think he was what Ray deserved anymore.

“Dude, are you sure you’re okay?” Michael asked for the third time in the last hour.

“I’m fine,” Gav snapped back, glaring at him.

“Dude, do you need a drink?” Ray asked, staring the Brit down until he shrunk back and nodded. “Come on man,” he reached down to him, heaving him up when the other reached out for him.

They walked out of the room quickly; Ryan was the only one that noticed Ray’s hand on the other boy’s lower back.

“What the fuck is up with them lately?” Jack asked once they were gone.

“I don’t know,” Geoff said.

“They’re being all weird,” Michael shrugged.

“Yeah,” Jack said.

They looked to Ryan for his input and were disappointed when he gave none. He looked at the TV and pretended that he wasn’t watching the doorway out of the corner of his eye, waiting for the two to walk back in. When they did they were quiet, walking one in front of the other, not talking or smiling, just shuffling in to move towards their seats.

No one said anything when they realized Gavin didn’t have a drink.

Did Ryan talk about these feelings with Ray? No. Should he have? Probably. He didn’t talk about them with anyone, and now he was walking around town alone as the night got darker, wondering how he was going to fix things with his boyfriend, wondering if it was worth it.

_I love him. I know I do, but is that enough for him?_

Ryan thought he could handle anything. Work, school, relationships, friendships, he was invincible. He thought. As it turned out though, working, taking mostly advanced classes, trying to find time to hang with friends _and_ with boyfriend, was really hard.

_Something’s gotta give._

It wasn’t until he finally walked home that night, clock reading _11:34 pm,_ that he realized Ray never texted him.

~~~

The night of their big Halloween party found the six boys crammed in Jack’s basement, throwing on their last minute details. Gavin was busy looking into a mirror, smearing green and black paint under his eyes and along his cheeks. Geoff was repeatedly putting his helmet on and taking it off to make sure that his hair was still perfect for when he saw Griffon later. Jack was next to him doing something similar with his helmet, but then he’d stop to fix his shirt, and his shorts, and his shoes, making sure he looked absolutely perfect Caiti. Ryan was trying to figure out how the fuck to be comfortable in a kilt and Ray was standing behind him fiddling with his mask. Michael was standing behind Gavin, putting little red lines under his eyes and on his arms.

“Gavin, could you put some lines on my chest?” he asked suddenly causing the other to jump and turn around.

The redhead had decided to go shirtless since he had a vest that would work just as well and didn’t wanna be hot in all the layers. Gavin didn’t know if he’d survive the night without touching him. It was getting harder and harder to keep his distance from his best friend, especially since there was tension between them now, Michael having noticed that Gavin was acting weird. Of course he was going to notice though, Michael noticed most things when it came to Gavin, it was almost annoying.

“Lines?”

“Yeah, like, I’m a warrior,” he pouted.

“Awww little Mikey Wikey is a warrior!” Geoff cried from the other side of the room, making kissy faces at him.

“Shut up,” he growled.

“Beware guys, he’s no cuddly teddy bear,” he joked.

"Mogar angry!" Jack yelled, ending with a ridiculous growl.

“Whatever. Gav?” he turned back, holding the paint out to him.

“Why can’t you?”

“It’s easier if you do it,”

“But why?”

“Gavin, it’s not a big deal,” he said confused.

Gavin grabbed the red paint with a huff, squeezing some onto his hands and delicately tracing lines on the other. He worked quickly, not wanting to keep his hands on his best friend for too long. He was so focused on the lines that he didn’t notice Ray smirking at him from the other side of the room, didn’t notice Geoff watching with raised brows and Michael looking at him softly.

“There,” he declared suddenly, capping the paint and throwing it on the table. “I’m gonna go wash my hands,”

They finished getting ready shortly after, running upstairs to say goodbye before piling into Geoff and Ryan’s cars. Geoff and Jack announced they were gonna run to Griffon’s to get the girls and meet them at the party and then they were gone.

Ryan backed out of the driveway while the lads talked, but it quickly dissolved to silence. Gavin was busy not looking at Michael and his bare chest, Ryan was busy driving and avoiding his boyfriend who wasn’t exactly happy with him right now after his behavior and Michael was busy looking out the window.

Michael reached across the middle seat to poke at Gavin, get his attention, his hand, anything, but the Brit didn’t budge.

See the thing was, Gavin’s math class was one of his favorite classes, he had Ray in there and the subject was easy to learn, the teacher loved him and the other students were calm… for the most part.

Matt and Jeremy however quickly made it his least favorite class. He couldn’t go one day without paper landing on his desk in thick wads. Sometimes there were words, sometimes there were pictures, and on occasion he’d find a sentence or two about how pathetic and gay he was. Ray knew all this, got his fair share too, but he was stronger than Gavin, having a boyfriend as intimidating as Ryan to look out for him if needed really helped his confidence. He let the papers litter the ground around him, not sparing them a second though, throwing them away at the end of the class so their teacher wouldn’t see whatever was written, but he never read them.

Gavin on the other hand saved every last one. They were all piling up in his top drawer at home. He knew it wasn’t safe probably, wasn’t going to help anything, but for some reason he felt compelled to keep them. Felt like the words and pictures before him were true, important almost. Ray knew that he kept them at the end of class, stuffed them in his back pack, but he didn’t know about his dresser, now holding enough paper that his shorts would no longer fit. Ray tried to help him, tried to convince him that they couldn’t get to him, he had people to protect him and that they were just harmless bullies, but Gavin couldn’t get the words through to him. Each word was like a punch in the chest, an attack on who he was, and it stung.

Only days after the notes began raining down on them did Gavin start to shift. He wasn’t as cheerful at lunch, wasn’t as open to Michael’s touches. It derailed soon after, he forgot to eat at school and home, his video game skills were even worse, he didn’t laugh as hard as jokes that he loved; his eyes didn’t crinkle the way they used too. Michael noticed quickly when Gavin started coming to school late, having missed the bus from lack of sleep and needing his parents to rush around and get him there before the bell. Whenever he’d ask though he was met with confused stares and a “Don’t know boi.”

Gavin started making excuses next, too much homework for a boi’s night. An essay that was due the next day, one they had gotten weeks in advance, math homework piling up to his nose. Michael let him go without a fight, figuring that he was actually hard at work.

In reality Gavin was laying in bed with a flashlight hanging out of his mouth, pointed at torn up pieces of paper, reading word after word and cringing at the not so PG pictures. Eventually Gavin would cry so hard he’d tire himself out and fall asleep.

Now Michael was reaching out for him, trying to get a pinky lock or just any sign that Gavin was actually _there,_ present in the time and conversation and company, but as usual lately the boy was elsewhere.

Michael swore to himself he wouldn’t be a grump the entire night since he didn’t wanna deal with all the ‘angry bear’ jokes, but when they got to the party and Gavin went straight for the alcohol, not acknowledging the others at all, Michael was a bit miffed.

“Stay with him tonight,” Ray whispered as he passed him, going to grab a drink. Michael didn’t need to be told again, figuring Ray probably knew what was going on better than him either. He followed off in the direction the other had taken off in, pushing skeletons and witches, princes and nurses out of the way.

He found the boy with Meg, Lindsay and Barbara, standing against a wall with them drinking quickly, Meg looking at him with concern. The girl was dressed as an angel, which looked good since Lindsay was a little devil next to her; Barbara however went for a bottle of maple syrup, something Michael had to stand back and admire or a minute before he joined them.

“You should slow down, you just got here,”

“I’ll be fine,” Gavin waved her off.

“You will not,” Michael added, leaning in next to him. “You’re a lightweight; you’ll be out in an hour,”

“Oh yeah?” the Brit asked, something challenging in his eyes.

“Yeah,”

“I bet I can drink more than you and still walk in an hour,”

“Guys,” Lindsay said warningly.

“What’s the winner get?” Michael asked.

“Bragging rights,” the other shrugged.

“Don’t pull this shit guys, Gavin, you’re a clingy drunk, Michael, you’re an angry drunk. We don’t need this tonight,” Meg glared.

“Don’t worry about it,” Michael waved her off, taking the rest of Gavin’s drink from him and downing it.

“I’ll go grab some more,” the Brit smirked, moving into the kitchen. Michael watched him go, jumping when he was slapped on the arm.

“What the hell? You come over here to make him stop and end up making a bet to drink the most?” Lindsay asked incredulously.

“Relax, I’m not actually gonna be drinking,” he assured her. “He’s been acting weird lately as I’m sure you all know, I’m gonna keep an eye on him,” he swore, rubbing at his arm where he was hit.

Soon Gavin was returning, two fresh beer bottles in his hands, he handed one to Michael with a smirk and took a long swig. Michael lifted his to his mouth and took a small sip, sending the girls a quick wink.

~~~

It had only been an hour and Jack was losing his mind. Caiti it seems had become quite popular around the school. Within their first ten minutes at Joel’s house she was swept away in a mass of excited bodies, getting countless compliments on her fairy costume. Jack watched her go, earning a glare from Geoff and a nudge from Griffon to ‘go after her idiot,’ but he didn’t budge, claiming that she deserved to have some time with her friends and not be stopped by her boyfriend the entire time. Griffon left him with a flick on the forehead and a smile, letting Geoff pull her into the kitchen for drinks. Jack walked into the living room in search of, well, anyone. He ran into Miles and Kerry, stopping to talk for a few minutes before he spotted Caiti with Arryn and Tina drinking a bottle of water and talking animatedly. She met his eyes across the way and smiled, nodding him over and then excusing herself from the two, meeting him halfway.

“Hey cutie,” she hugged him.

“Hey,” he smiled down at her, “are you enjoying the party?”

“Ye- yeah,” she stuttered.

“You hate it,” he stated. She wrinkled her nose once and looked up at him.

“I just, I don’t see the need to get wasted with a bunch of people I hardly know,” she shrugged.

“I completely understand that,” he nodded.

“So then, why don’t we get out of here? We can go for a walk and then go to that diner we went to on our first date,” she said excitedly, jumping up and down.

“Sure, I’ll go let Geoff know we’re leaving, meet you by the front door?” he asked. She nodded and then left, wings almost slapping Jack in the face as he watched.

He turned around then, looking for any of his friends and found Gavin and Michael, leaning against the wall on the far side of the room, both of them were holding a beer. Michael seemed to be taking it slow while Gavin took long swigs and always seemed to have a back up. Meg and Lindsay were standing next to them, looking at them disapprovingly.

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” he asked once he reached them.

“They’re trying to see who can drink more and be okay by the end of the night,” Meg said sourly.

“Oh, well, good luck with that,” he nodded towards the two of them. “Caiti and I are gonna go, if you see Geoff or Griffon could you tell them?” he asked looking at the sober girls.

“Sure thing,”

“Have fun!” Meg called as he started talking away, smiling brightly.

“They’re so cute,” Lindsay said once he was gone.

“I know,”

Jack met Caiti by the front door; she was standing against the coat closet by herself, looking down at her phone. “Ready?” he asked holding his hand out for her.

“Yeah,”

They made sure they had all their things before walking out the door and heading in the direction of town. They walked by countless children in their mummy and ghost costumes, princesses and super heroes running wild. A few times they had to step away from each other when children would barrel at them, heads too busy, buried in their candy bags to notice they were about to crash.

“They’re cute,” Caiti said suddenly after the third time they had to step away from each other, a police officer and cat rushing by, their mother stopping to apologize to the two teens.

“I remember when I used to be like that,” her boyfriend chuckled, hand immediately seeking hers out again.

“What’s the best costume you’ve ever had?” she asked then. They had finally made it into town, drunken adults and other teens passing quickly, coming in and out stores with drinks or ice creams, some munching on candy bars.

“In middle school Geoff, Gavin and I went out in our school clothes with paper taped to our chests that read ‘Nudist on strike,’ my mom yelled at me later,” he laughed.

“Wow, weren’t you a little young to know what a nudist was?” she giggled.

“Blame Geoff,” he told her as they reached the diner, he held the door open for her and followed her to a table.

Minutes later a man in a matador costume greeted them, setting a glass of water in front of both of them and asking if he could get them something else to drink. They both got milkshakes, knowing they’d be sharing like they did on their first date.

“So, you guys go to those parties a lot?” she asked then, leaning on the table, careful not to knock his helmet over.

“A few a year,” he shrugged, “it’s normally just if we have nothing else planned, or it’s the first one of the year which is always big,”

“So I’m taking you away from a tradition?” she asked, small smile on her face.

“It’s not really a tradition, normally Ryan, Ray and I are sober and make fun of the others and they remember nothing in the morning,” he shrugged. “It’s not like I’m missing out,”

“Promise?” she asked then, lips pursed and gaze worried.

“I swear, I’d much rather be with you,” he said, tapping his leg against hers under the table. She giggled and placed her hand on top of the table, palm up so he could grab it.

They spent the rest of their time at the diner talking and eating, enjoying the quietness around them since everyone else seemed to be at bars or out elsewhere. They spoke about upcoming projects at school and how work was going since Caiti had finally gotten hired the week before.

The library had lost so many people when summer ended, people going back to collage or going home from their vacation at relatives houses etc. They had also gotten many applications when the summer ended and it took Jack’s boss so long to go through each of them and interview everyone that Caiti thought it was a lost cause, finally though she had a call in the middle of the school day, forced to let it go through to voice mail. When she got to lunch that day she listened to it, excusing herself from the cafeteria to call them back to set up a meeting. A week later she was showing up an hour after Jack for training.

“I don’t like their organization system, that’s all I’m saying,” she declared.

“I hate it too, but there’s nothing we can do except put up with it,”

“We’ll see about that,” she smirked.

“What? You’re gonna change it up on them?” he laughed.

“I might,” she said casually.

“Yeah, okay,” he said taking another sip of his shake.

“You never know, I might surprise you,” she wiggled hey eyebrows.

“I’m sure you will,”

They talked about their friends and families, Caiti talked about both her real one and her host one, having nothing but good things and fun stories to share.

“So, you went on a road trip and everyone in the car got food poisoning?” he laughed.

“Bad clams. Nearly killed all of us,” she laughed.

“So have you had clams since?”

“Oh never again,” she said quickly. “I don’t wanna die,”

“Geoff’s uncle’s restaurant has some good seafood, I can assure you you’ll live,” he told her, a challenging tone to his voice.

“Oh?” she smiled. “Maybe someday,”

“What about next weekend?”

“You’re trying to kill me,” she groaned, knowing there was no way she’d be getting out of this.

“I’ll pick you up Saturday at six,”

“Fine,” she sighed, finishing her shake and throwing him a halfhearted glare.

“Where do you wanna go now?” he asked once he had finished paying.

“Let’s just go for a walk,” she suggested, taking his hand and leading him away.

They walked aimlessly through town, saying hi to people from school if they passed, pointing at shop displays in stores. They walked by a ‘haunted house’ that the city hall set up every year, almost going inside but Caiti decided that the line was too long and pulled him away. They ended up at the library first since they were hosting a little party for the kids in the area, candy and games everywhere. They were greeted by their coworkers eagerly, talking about their night and asking how things were going here.

They didn’t stay there long, since it was nearly eleven o’clock and they had started picking up at the library.  Caiti offered to help clean up but they were waved off, told to go ‘be wild, have a good Halloween,’ by their boss and then they were taking off.

“I have to go soon, my family wants me home by midnight and I don’t know how long it’ll take to walk there,” she said suddenly.

“Okay,” Jack nodded, taking her hand and turning around to lead her in the direction of her neighborhood.

He spent the first ten minutes of the walk taking deep breaths and repeatedly rubbing his hands on his shorts before taking her hand again. If Caiti noticed she never said anything.

They were close to her neighborhood, Jack knew that, which meant that his time with her would soon be over, his window of opportunity was closing and he had to think of something quick to force it open. They were waiting at a crosswalk, waiting for the cars to pass so they could run across, he was going to make his move then, but as soon as the coast was clear Caiti was rushing across the street so they wouldn’t have to take any longer.

They were silent as they went, huddled close from the cool fall wind, Caiti had tucked herself completely under his arm now, steps in sync with Jack’s. Finally they had to cross the street to get into her neighborhood, waiting patiently under a street light while cars whizzed by. Jack looked both ways, seeing that there were plenty of cars to keep them waiting for another thirty seconds or so.

“Hey uh, so…” he said unsurely, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

“Yeah?” she looked up at him.

“Well, I wanted- I thought…” he stopped for a second, closing his eyes and letting out a deep sigh before deciding _fuck it._

He took one of her hands in his and pulled her closer, watching her face go from confused, to shocked, to bright red in seconds. He wrapped his arms around her waist then and leaned in quickly taking her by surprise. She smiled against his lips before kissing back gently, letting him control things.

They didn’t stop until a car honked at them as it drove by, someone, clearly drunk, hanging out the window and whooping at them. They pulled away laughing, watching the car fade away down the street.

“You’re cute,” she whispered then, poking at his cheeks which he assumed were very red.

“You’re cuter,” he said back, kissing her again, chastely this time. She giggled and looked away from him and his heart swelled at the sight. He took her hand and looked back towards the street noticing there were no cars in sight. “Come on, let’s get you home,” he said tugging her across the street.

They smiled stupidly the rest of the way back to her house, and when they stopped on the front porch Caiti leaned up on her tippy toes to kiss him again before promising to call him tomorrow and slipping inside quietly.

He stood on her front porch for another minute before he finally stepped down, walking in the direction of Joel’s house, knowing Geoff would be too drunk to drive home that night. He pulled out his phone to text him that he was on his way and stuffed it back in his pocket, grin never dropping.

~~~

Gavin was drunk.

Gavin was extremely terrifyingly drunk. Michael knew this for a fact when the boy stumbled off to get more drinks for him and Michael and never came back.

“Well go find him,” Lindsay snapped gesturing in the direction of the kitchen.

“Shit, I’m going, I’m going,” he waved her off, walking out of the room.

Gavin had been drunk after his fourth beer, not noticing that Michael had just finished his first. That however, didn’t stop him from slamming down shots, gagging at the taste before chasing it with soda. Michael would’ve been worried if he wasn’t there to watch after him.

Of course watching after him was mighty hard when the boy disappeared. Lindsay and Meg waited patiently, checking their phones every few minutes, but after he had been gone for over a half hour they were pushing at Michael, glaring him down until he finally broke.

He wandered the kitchen first, running into Ray who was surprisingly on his own while he watched random students play beer pong and drink themselves to death.

“Hey man, where’s Ryan?” he asked when he got his attention, pulling him back from the front of the crowd.

“Don’t know, don’t really care to be honest,” the other said grumpily, taking a long sip of his coke.

“Woah, lovers spat?” he held his hands up defensively.

“I wish,” he chuckled humorously. “If we were fighting then at least we would be talking. He’s barely touched me in the last few weeks, he won’t talk to me, I don’t know what’s going on,” he ranted, getting increasingly frustrated as he went on.

“That’s… not like him,”

“Yeah, no shit,” the other snapped.

“Don’t take it out on me, I’ve already lost Gavin,” he mumbled, doing another scan of the room.

“You lost him?” the dark haired boy questioned, eyebrow raised.

“He went to get drinks and never came back,”

“I remember him coming through, he went that way,” he pointed to the hallway that led to the living room and upstairs meaning he could’ve gone anywhere.

“Well, I’m gonna go find him to make sure he’s alive, we can continue the other conversation later if that’s okay?” he asked, staying an extra second after the other boy nodded to make sure he was really okay.

He pushed his way through people, earning glares and shoves in return but he wasn’t paying attention to them, searching everywhere for his creeper.

He finally made it into the living room, seeing the girls on the other side of the room still on their own and looking worried. Geoff and Griffon were sitting on the couch Xbox controllers in hand while they played and people around them watched. They had decided that Geoff would not be participating in any beer pong that night. Instead they were going to get a slight buzz on and enjoy their night.

“Have you guys seen Gavin?” he rushed over to them.

“You’re always losing your boyfriend huh?” Griffon said back, shooting Geoff’s character before pausing it and handing her controller to the boy sitting next to her. “You’re up,” she said. Geoff handed his off too and then they were grabbing Michael and pulling him away from the huge crowd to hear him better.

“Not my boyfriend, and yes, he wandered off,”

“Is he drunk?” Geoff asked.

“What do you think?”

“Can’t help you there man, kid does crazy shit when he’s not right in the head,” Geoff pointed out.

“He could be on his way home by now. Was he upset?” Griffon added.

“No, he just disappeared,”

“I’ll text him,” Geoff shrugged, “but I wouldn’t worry, he’d call if he was in trouble,” he explained.

“Yeah, keep me posted,” Michael told them, patting Geoff on the shoulder before pushing his way back down the hallway to get upstairs.

He made it there quickly, rushing up the steps, passing couples making out and drinking, screaming kids and one girl that seemed to be on some sort of drug if the way she was looking around lost, eyes red and wide, as she slithered along the wall, was anything to go by. At the top of the stairs Michael found Kdin, from his math class, sitting on the floor next to Gavin, both of them were leaning against the wall and Gavin was crying on his shoulder.

“Hey man, was just about to come looking for you,” he greeted when Michael stepped in front of them.

“Yeah, sorry,” he laughed.

“Its fine, your boyfriend here is having a rough night, so I’m gonna leave you to it,” he smiled, patting Gavin on the back before standing up and smiling at Michael. He didn’t even bother correcting him for the boyfriend comment now, taking Kdin’s previous spot on the floor and pulling Gavin into him.

“What’s going on?” he asked as the other sobbed.

“Nothing,” he said quickly. Michael just raised a brow and looked down at him.

“Really? Nothing? Why are you sitting here crying then?” he asked.

“I don’t know,” the Brit said dumbly.

“Okay, well, we’re gonna go home now,” he announced standing up and hauling the other up.

“But Michael,” Gavin whined, “I don’t wanna go home,”

“Well, you’re drunk and you’re a mess, so we’re gonna go back to my house,” he pulled him down the stairs, stopping when he saw Meg in the kitchen.

“Tell Jack, or Geoff, or Ray or anyone,” he rambled, “that we’re gonna go back to my place tonight and we’ll talk to them tomorrow,” he asked. She nodded and then they were pushing through the door and into the chilled night.

Michael didn’t know what was going on, didn’t know if he’d even get a clear answer that night, so he kept himself tightly wrapped around the small boy, leading them in the direction of his home. Gavin didn’t offer anything, not a word was shared between the two except the occasional ‘fuck’ from Michael as they stumbled along, almost bumping into the few people that were still out and about at almost midnight.

They made it to Michael’s house quicker than expected, ducking in and sloppily kicking their shoes off. Michael had to shush Gavin repeatedly since his sobs and sniffs seemed deafening in the silent house. They slipped into Michael’s room, the redhead shutting the door as slowly and quietly as possible. When Michael turned the light on Gavin flinched, eyes now used to the darkness outside, Michael finally got a good look at him, eyes bloodshot and shiny, he had deep bags under his eyes and his black and green face paint was running. Michael felt awful instantly, moving to his dresser to pull some clothes out for the boy to change into, he handed him the clothes and a box of tissues before leaving the room to change himself.

He took a lot longer than he would’ve liked, scrubbing hard at the red lines on his face and chest. His chest was red and stinging by the time he finished, only hurting when he applied pressure to it. He threw his shirt and shorts on, stalking down the hallway and into his room to find Gavin curled up in his bed, no longer crying or sobbing; only the occasional sniffle showed that he was awake. Michael threw his clothes in the corner of the room, promising himself he’d take care of them tomorrow, and crawled into the bed behind Gavin, pulling the small boy into his chest and running his fingers through his hair.

“What the fuck happened Gav?” he asked finally, feeling the other boy freeze against him momentarily.

“Nothing really,” he shrugged.

“Gav,” the other boy pleaded. “Talk to me,”

“People are just really mean Michael,” was all he offered before he turned around and shut his eyes, signaling the end of the conversation.

“Wait,” Michael apparently didn’t get that Gavin was no longer interested. “Who?”

“Just… people,” Gavin muttered back.

“But which people?” Michael squeezed his waist to get him to turn around.

“People,” he said again, “Michael, I’m tired Michael,” he whined.

“Fine, I’ll let you sleep because you’re drunk. We’ll continue this in the morning,”

“Okay Michael,” the other boy sighed happily, burrowing himself in the bed and holding Michael’s hand that was still wrapped around him.

Michael rolled his eyes and pulled the blanket up over them. It was then that he realized this was the first time in what felt like years that Gavin had come over, just them, and shared a bed with him without freaking out. Michael tried to be happy but he knew it was only because of the bevs in his system.

~~~

The party sucked. Ray knew this seconds after entering. It wasn’t because of the people or music or drinks or anything. It was his boyfriend that made it suck.

As soon as the couple had walked in Ryan had disappeared, Ray waited by the door for fifteen minutes before he decided that he wasn’t going to let his boyfriends sour mood ruin his night. He walked into the kitchen, grabbed a coke and went on a walk around the house, greeting people from school as they walked up and admiring people’s costumes as they danced or talked.

He got curious glances from people that knew he and Ryan were together, a few comments about why he was alone, but other than that he was left to himself, leaning against the wall and bobbing his head to the music.

Later he wandered into the kitchen to watch some freshmen play beer pong, and then he stayed for a few more games, cheering with everyone else as the cocky kids lost.

He was surprised when Michael came to him looking for Gavin, but he wasn’t all that surprised that the other boy had taken off. He didn’t bother looking for him when Michael left, knowing that he had gone in the other direction and hadn’t come back.

A couple minutes later he looked back towards the staircase to see Gavin and Michael stumbling down, stopping to talk to Meg and then leaving. He turned back to the game and pretended that he was interested, but he really couldn’t care less.

Minutes later though he was lucky enough to turn towards the door just in time to see Ryan heading for it. He followed quickly after, leaving his drink on the counter as he slipped out, there was no one else around so late so Ryan heard the door close, turning quickly to see his boyfriend walking down the porch.

“Wait!” Ray called after him, running down to catch up to him.

Ryan heaved a sigh and turned to face him, walking the last few steps to meet him, “what?” he asked patiently.

“Where are you going?” Ray asked eyes wide.

“For a walk,” he said simply, making to turn around.

“Can I join you?” Ray asked quietly, reaching his hand out for him.

“I’d really rather go alone,” Ryan said calmly, forcing a small smile.

“Okay, what the fuck is going on? You’ve been acting weird for weeks,” Ray begged, hand wrapping around the other’s bicep.

“Ray c’mon,” Ryan pulled himself away as if burned. They stood staring at each other for a moment or two, Ryan trying to find the words and Ray trying to wait for them. In the end Ray cracked.

“No, don’t pull this shit, I’m your fucking boyfriend talk to me!” he yelled stepping into Ryan’s space.

Ryan took a deep breath and thought over all the things that had been going on lately, the insecurities, the secrets, the subtle fighting. He loved Ray, and Ray loved him, but he couldn’t do this anymore.

“Maybe we should change that,” he whispered, wincing when Ray’s eyes widened and he stepped back.

“Wha- what?” he asked, his eyes were already misting over and it took everything Ryan had to keep his gaze steady on him.

“Ray, I just, I can’t do this anymore,” he sounded tired, exhausted. Ray looked at the ground for a minute, processing the information while Ryan waited patiently for him to get it.

“Why?” he asked finally, hand coming up to swipe at his eyes quickly so the other wouldn’t see him cry.

“Look, I’ve been thinking about this for awhile, I just don’t think its working,” he explained.

“I… I- okay,” the other boy nodded, his lips were quivering and he was shaking slightly, but he nodded again, not meeting Ryan’s eyes. “Uh… goodbye?” he offered, turning around and walking away, arms wrapped tightly around himself. If Ryan had listened closely he would’ve heard Ray muttering to himself _stupid stupid stupid, of course he was going to dump you._

Ryan almost called out after him. Almost reached out and hold him. He wanted to take it all back, wanted to apologize and say he was drunk or high or find some other excuse.

But he didn’t.

Instead he watched Ray walk down the street alone before turning in the opposite direction and doing the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for my actions. I have no excuses.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Homophobic language in this chapter.  
> Hey guys sorry this was out way later than expected, I had a few family things come up and I needed to set my writing aside for a bit. I've worked constantly the last two days on this and I'm happy with it. I hope you guys enjoy it too!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“Wait, he did what?” Gavin screeched early the next morning, causing Michael to jump awake.

“What’s going on?” he turned to Gavin as he paced the room. Gavin however ignored him, turning this way and that, face serious.

“Ray, calm down. Yes, we’ll be right there,” he paused, “I’m with Michael,” another pause. “Okay, relax, see you in twenty,” he hung up and turned to Michael. Michael took in the dark bags under his eyes, how they were still red rimmed from crying, but he didn’t say anything.

“What's going on?" he asked again.

“Ryan broke up with Ray last night,” Gavin said slowly, calmly.

“Are you… really?” he asked standing and stretching.

“Yeah, we gotta go to Ray’s house,” Gavin started walking around the boy’s room, looking for clothes he could wear.

“Here,” Michael threw him a fresh pair of shorts and a t-shirt. He stepped out of the room with his own clothes to let the other change.

Minutes later they were in the kitchen saying good morning and asking Michael’s mom if they could borrow her car.

“It’s kind of a friend emergency,” he told her, watching her eyes dart to Gavin, his swollen eyes and tired face, and back to him before nodding.

“Have fun, be safe,” she called out as they stumbled down the hall.

It wasn’t until they had been driving in the direction of Ray’s house for only five minutes that Michael remembered their unfinished conversation from the night before.

“Hey, uh Gav?” he started, unsure how to approach the topic.

“Hmm?” he didn’t turn away from the window to look at Michael, which the other boy was slightly thankful for.

“Who were you talking about last night?”

Gavin froze for only half a second before he was furrowing his eyebrows and turning to Michael. “What are you talking about?” he asked dumbly.

“Last night,” Michael began, “when you were sobbing and talking about how mean people are,” he explained. “The reason we left early,” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about Michael,” he responded, turning back to the window. 

The truth was Gavin had gone to get more drinks when he ran into some… trouble. Matt and Jeremy, dressed as police officers, seemed to have stationed themselves in front of the alcohol table.

“Look who it is!” Jeremy cried cheerfully, reaching out to wrap an arm around Gavin’s neck. Gavin was drunk, he knew that, but Matt and Jeremy definitely took the award for drunkest people at the party.

“It’s the gay kid!” Matt exclaimed, earning several laughs and stares from kids around them.

Gavin tried shoving Jeremy’s arm off of him but the shorter boy just held on tighter. “Yeah, I’m a homosexual, now can I just…” he trailed off, reaching for two beers off the counter and trying to step away. He was however, drunker than he thought, stumbling as he moved, causing him to lean more on Jeremy to keep his balance. This seemed to be the moment Jeremy sobered up a tad and realized who he was touching, shoving Gavin away from him roughly so he hit the floor with a thump.

“Fucking fag, get away from me,” he sneered, rubbing his arms disgusted, as if he could wipe Gavin off of him.

“You grabbed me,” Gavin protested, standing up and looking down at himself to make sure he wasn’t injured in anyway.

“Just, stay away from us, fairy,” Matt warned then, shoving his way past Gavin, shoulder hitting him hard.

Gavin watched them go confused before turning back to the beers that were now spilling over onto the floor. He leaned down to pick them up when someone called out, “Yeah, bend over homo!” Gavin’s head whipped up to identify the owner of the voice, but he was met with many giggling boys and girls, some pointing and others just whispering to each other as they stared at him.

He could feel his eyes watering and shook his head quickly, standing up and rushing from the room as they laughed harder. He’d blame the alcohol for what happened next.

When he made it upstairs he noticed that there were countless couples making out and groping each other, a few people who were very obviously on drugs were leaning against walls sluggishly and when Gavin saw the only person he knew, Kdin, he ran for him.

“Hey man what’s up?” he smiled when he first saw Gavin, but as the Brit got closer and threw himself into Kdin’s chest sobbing, well, Kdin knew something was wrong. “What happened?” he asked then, throwing a confused look toward the boy, but he only shook his head and started sinking down, pulling Kdin with him.

They didn’t talk the entire time Gavin sat there crying in the other’s lap. Gavin didn’t look up when people passed them, speaking to Kdin quickly before moving on. Soon, he heard a familiar voice and looked up to see Michael standing in front of them talking briefly with Kdin before he was replacing the boy’s spot. Michael didn’t stay there long, eventually whisking Gavin away, which he was grateful for, but at the same time he really didn’t wanna talk about it and he knew Michael would. Michael always wanted to talk when Gavin was upset, no matter what it was about.

He spent the entire walk to Michael’s coming up with excuses or shortcuts in the conversation so he wouldn’t have to confess everything to him in a blubbering drunk mess. That was a challenge in itself because he was incredible drunk and couldn’t organize his thoughts. One second he as planning a story and the next his mind was wandering to the crumpled pits of paper in his drawer.

By the time they made into Michael’s bedroom Gavin just wanted to collapse in a pile of blankets and sleep. The redhead however had a different agenda but luckily Gavin managed to shut it down.

Now they were stuck in Michael’s mom’s car together, no escape for Gavin which meant that this was either the moment of truth, or he could just keep lying. The second option was much more appealing to the Brit.

“Gavin come on,” Michael urged now agitated. 

“Michael, I really don’t know what you’re talking about,” he swore, reaching up to rub at his temples. “Can we just focus on Ray right now? We’re almost at his house and I’m still trying to process the fact that Ryan broke up with him,”

Michael looked at the other out of the corner of his eyes suspiciously. He did notice though that they were indeed only minutes away from the other boy’s house and they wouldn’t have time for this conversation anyway. “Fine,” he grit out as he came to a stop at a red light.

They were quiet for the last two minutes, not speaking until Michael was parking in Ray’s driveway and unbuckling. “Here goes nothing,” he said as he ducked out and ran to the door, knocking eagerly.

Mrs. Narvaez answered the door in seconds, shooting the two a grateful look and opening the door wider for them to slip in. “He’s barely said two words to me this morning, I don’t know what’s going on,” she explained as they kicked their shoes off.

“This is really serious,” Michael whispered looking worriedly at Gavin.

“He came home in the middle of the night, weren’t you all going to stay at Jack’s?” she asked as they got to the first few steps.

They really wanted to rush up to their fellow lad, but they didn’t want to be rude to his mother either. “Yeah, everything kinda… went to crap,” Michael explained honestly.

“Okay, well, thank you for coming,” she smiled at them, turning to go into the kitchen. They made it up another two steps before she was popping back around the corner. “Would you boys like anything to drink or eat?” she offered politely.

“No thank you,” Michael responded, taking the remaining stairs two at a time. Gavin echoed the others words and rushed after him. When they got to Ray’s door they took a second to compose themselves, looking at each other briefly before Michael reached forward and knocked. “Ray?” he called out, waiting for any sort of response.

“Come in,” it was a choked off noise that greeted them. They opened the door cautiously, looking in to see Ray curled up on his bed, wearing last night’s clothes and sniffling up at them.

“Holy shit,” Gavin deadpanned eyes wide. He was the first to move, taking a seat on the bed next to the boy and reaching out to rub his back.

“Dude, what the fuck happened?” Michael stepped closer. He could already feel his face heating up in anger. When he wasn’t talking to Gavin on the way over his mind was going over and over the fact that Ryan and Ray were over. It seemed like it was something that wasn’t possible, and now that he was really in the room with the heartbroken boy, he could see that, yes this happened; it was like he couldn’t hold back his rage.

It was then that Ray finally looked up and made direct eye contact with Michael. It was obvious that he had been crying all night, probably hadn’t slept, and Michael thought _Gavin_ looked bad. His eyes were swollen and red and his face was pale, his lips were light pink and looked raw like he had been biting at them all night.

“Dude,” Michael breathed, sitting on the bed and running his hand over the other’s head.

“I don’t know,” he croaked.

“You don’t know?” Gavin tilted his head at him, eyebrows furrowed.

“No!” Ray exclaimed, attempting to sit up. He rubbed at his throat when he did, wincing slightly.

“Hold on,” Michael held his hand up. “I’m gonna get you some water,” he moved quickly, hurrying down the stairs and into the kitchen. He grabbed an empty cup and filled it to the brim with water before rushing back up the steps careful not to spill any.

When he walked back in he was met with the sight of the other two lads, foreheads resting against each other as Gavin murmured to him. They sprung apart though when Michael walked into the room, Gavin, smiling softly at him and Ray looking at him blankly.

“Here,” he said holding the cup out for him. Ray took it and gulped the entire thing down in seconds, licking his lips a few times before letting out a breath.

“Thank you,” he said quietly.

“No problem,” he smiled. “So you gonna explain now or what?” he asked after, not wanting to beat around the bush. He flinched when he saw the way Ray's eyes started watering, but he was quick to blink the mist away.

“I really don’t know what happened,” he started. “He was just acting weird and when I confronted him about it he just… he-“ he broke off as a sob ripped through his throat. Gavin wrapped his arms around him, pulling him into a tight hug. Michael watched the two carefully, noticing how easy it was for the two of them, swaying gently back and forth as Gavin hushed him and rubbed his back.

“And then!” he exclaimed suddenly, pulling away from Gavin after calming down enough. “Check this text I get at fucking three in the morning,” he reached around Michael then, grabbing his cell phone and glasses off his night stand. He sloppily put his glasses on and unlocked his phone, tapping and scrolling through things.

“Oh boy,” Gavin sighed, looking at Michael helplessly.

“It says, and I quote ‘hey man.’ Hey man! What the fuck? I’m lying in bed crying my heart out and he texts me, starting with ‘hey man,’” he ranted, glaring down at his phone screen. Gavin looked over at Michael shocked, clearly not expecting such an outburst from the normally quiet boy.

“That’s weird,”

“Oh there’s more!” Ray turned to him then, a fire in his eyes Michael hadn’t seen. “It says, ‘don’t want things to be awkward for everyone else. Friends?’ As if he didn’t just fucking stomp all over my heart,” 

“Holy shit,”

“Whoa, dude, are you sure?” Michael asked, reaching for the phone.

“I can fucking read Michael!” he then proceeded to throw his phone across the room, not even flinching when it bashed into the wall with a crunch. “He’s a fucking asshole,” he crossed his arms then, leaning into Gavin. Gavin looked up at Michael, eyes wide and slightly scared, but he still wrapped himself around Ray again to show he was there.

“Okay okay, I’m sorry,” Michael held his hands up defensively. “It just doesn’t sound like him,”

“I didn’t think so either,” Ray grumbled.

“What did you answer?” Gavin questioned then, looking in the direction of the now broken phone.

“I said, ‘sure,’” he sighed sadly.

“Oh man,” Gavin groaned, slapping his forehead.

“Wait wait wait,” Michael held a hand up. “So, he dumps you,” he winced and mouthed ‘sorry’ when Ray flinched, “and then texts you a really insensitive message about staying friends like it’s no big deal, and you agree to that shit?” he rambled.

“Well, yeah? What was I supposed to say? I love him guys,” he looked over at Gavin with wide eyes, lip jutted out in a pout.

“We know,” Gavin said taking his hand. “But you can’t let him get away with that,” he whispered.

The two broke off into their own little conversation; one that Michael didn’t feel the need to add to. Instead he pulled his phone from his pocket and texted Geoff.

_Did you know Ray and Ryan broke up?_

Within thirty seconds his phone was vibrating in his hands.

_Yup. We’re with Rye right now._

_Why did he do it?_

_He just keeps saying it wasn’t working. The fucker hasn’t shed a single tear._

_We don’t know what’s going on either. I think I’ll stop by Ryan’s later today._

_It’s probably better if you don’t dude. He’s kind of aggressive._

_We’ll see what happens._

Michael set his phone aside then and scooted closer to the other two boys. “So what do you wanna do now Ray?” he asked.

“I don’t really know?” it was more of a question than a statement. “Normally we’d all be waking up in Jack’s basement right now,”

“Yeah, that didn’t happen at all actually,” Michael sighed.

“Why didn’t you guys go there?” he asked then looking at Gavin curiously. The Brit looked over at Michael quickly before looking back at Ray and shrugging.

“Gav had a rough night,” Michael supplied as an answer leaving it at that. Ray nodded then and leaned back in bed.

“Did you guys know?” he blurted.

“Know what?”

“That he was gonna dump me?” he whispered, eyes watering yet again.

“Dude, we had no idea,” Michael promised, placing a hand on the dark haired boy’s knee.

“I knew he would,” Ray breathed. “It was too good to be true, ya know?” he chuckled humorously.

“That’s not true,” Gavin argued.

“Oh it is,” Ray glared. “The sweetest, smartest, most amazing boy I’ve ever met, picks me? That’s like some stupid fairy tale in itself,” he rolled his eyes. “It was only a matter of time before he realized he could do better,”

“Ray,” Michael scolded then, stopping to find the words.

“No, it’s absolutely true,” he rolled his eyes. “It’s kind of funny actually,” he laughed again, still no trace of happiness in it. “I thought he was gonna pick Gavin,” he shook his head, bitter smile still in place while both boys looked at each other in horror.

“That’s… that’s bloody ludicrous,” Gavin spluttered.

“I didn’t think so. He’s always been so protective of you, in a way he’s never been for me. I was honestly shocked when he started showing an interest in me,”

“Ray, we’re all protective of the idiot,” Michael told him then, slapping Gavin upside the head emitting a squawk from the brunet.

“You guys saw what he did to Caleb!” he exclaimed suddenly.

“Geoff beat him up too, and you and Jack didn’t exactly stop them because you guys wanted to do it just as badly,” Michael argued.

“Whatever,”

“No, not whatever,” Michael snapped, “you’ve never needed protecting Ray. You’ve always been strong and independent, able to stand your ground. Gavin, not so much,”

“Hey!” Gavin placed a hand over his heart.

“Oh shut up, it’s true,” Michael told him. “Look Ray, if you needed to be taken care of or looked after you know Ryan would do it in a heartbeat; he loves you more than anything,”

“Oh really? Then where is he?” he seethed looking around the room. “If he loves me so much then why did he just leave me? He let me walk home in the middle of the night, if he loved me he never would’ve,”

“He probably wasn’t thinking clearly,” Gavin shook his arm. “Ryan doesn’t like me like that, never has. Ray he loves you and it’s not too good to be true,” he rambled.

“It doesn’t even matter anymore,” he waved them off. “He’s not mine anymore,” he said slower, as if it were finally sinking in. His lip quivered and his eyes twitched as he tried to fight away the tears.

“Ray,” Gavin whispered, pulling him into his lap. Michael started reaching out for them too, but his phone buzzing in his pocket pulled him back, figuring that Gavin knew how to handle the situation better anyway.

He opened his phone to a text from Geoff. _Wanna meet at the elementary school playground?_

_What’s wrong?_

_Nothing, just can’t handle broken heart duty anymore. Jack seems to be getting through to him better than me anyway. I can imagine Gavin is the same._

_Yeah, I’ll be there in fifteen._

“Guys, my mom wants me to bring the car back, are you gonna be okay?” he asked looking mainly at Gavin.

“Yeah,” the Brit told him, pulling Ray closer and rocking him like he had before.

“I’ll come back later okay?” Michael said, reaching out to squeeze the other’s shoulder.

“Okay,” he nodded against Gavin’s neck, letting his tears spill over.

“Hang in there,” Michael whispered, and then he was leaving, closing the door quietly behind him, watching Gavin lean forward to lay them both down, trying not to feel bitter at how easy it was for them when Gavin had barely been touching any of them for the last month or so.

~~~

Meanwhile, at Ryan’s house Geoff was finally free of the stiff atmosphere, leaving Jack and Ryan to sit on the ladders bed in stony silence. As soon as the door closed behind him though Jack turned to the blond and glared.

“Alright, big brother Geoff is gone, fucking talk,” he commanded with his arms crossed.

“Jack, I’ve been telling you all morning that-“

“’It wasn’t working,’” he mocked, making air quotes. “That’s bullshit, if it was something stupid like that you wouldn’t have called me first thing this morning and asked me to come over,”

“I- it’s not… I couldn’t do it anymore,”

“Okay…” Jack said slowly, “Expand. Why not?”

They sat quietly for a few moments as Ryan gathered his thoughts, mouth opening and closing every once in a while before he finally heaved a long sigh and looked at the boy next to him. “He deserves so much better Jack,”

“What does that even mean?”

“It’s like,” he paused, looking up at the stars on the ceiling, smiling sadly. “It’s like… I love him with everything I’ve got right? But it’s still not enough,”

“Has Ray said this? Did someone plant this thought in your head,” Jack questioned calmly, watching the other for any change in his features.

“He didn’t have to,” the blond said bitterly. “It’s in his actions,”

“And what are those?”

“He’s been keeping secrets from me, getting cozy with Gavin, not as into it anymore,” he listed off. Jack merely raised a brow at him and rolled his eyes.

“Gavin? Gavin’s been in love with Michael since they were kids,”

“I know what it looks like when Ray’s crushing on someone, for a long time it was the way he looked at me, and now, it’s Gavin,”

“And instead of talking it out and seeing if you were right or if there was something else completely going on, you just dumped him?” his tone was disapproving, Ryan almost looked away.

“What? Do you know something I don’t?” he asked a challenging note to it.

“I don’t, but I do know that making assumptions just fucks everyone over,”

“You don’t understand,” Ryan shook his head, “I just know it wasn’t working out,”

“No, I think I do understand, I think you’re too scared to admit that you’re insecure,” Jack snapped at him.

“Excuse you?”

“You, Geoff and Michael seem to love playing the badass big brother, best friend, boyfriend act. And it works, but it also fucks you guys over because you get so caught up that you get scared to admit that you’re human too. You cry like Gavin does, and you love cuddling and you enjoy watching sappy romance movies with your boyfriend,” he explained. “I think it was working, I think it was going extremely well actually. In fact, I’ve never seen either of you happier than when you’re together, but I think you saw him and Gavin getting closer as friends and since Gavin’s gay you immediately shut down,”

“Your- that’s bullshit,”

“No, you breaking up with Ray, the boy that loves you more than anything in the world, because you’re a pussy is bullshit,” he argued.

“Oh don’t tell me you haven’t noticed the way they’ve been acting lately. They’re late for lunch every day and hardly talk. When’s the last time Gavin even touched Michael?” his voice was rising now and Jack was just glad that the boy’s parents weren’t home.

“Ryan, that has nothing to do with Ray, whatever’s going on with Gavin is a personal matter and maybe he told Ray cause it has to do with Michael?” he offered. “Truth is, Geoff and I have been worried too, he won’t talk to any of us, hardly touches any of us, Ray might just be the easiest for him to talk to. That doesn’t mean they’re having an affair,”

“You just don’t get it,” Ryan said, out of energy to continue fighting.

“Why? Cause I’m not in love with anyone? Cause I’m not insecure and scared? Cause I know Caiti likes me as much as I like her and I trust her?” he rambled.

“Jack-“

“No, don’t backpedal, fucking talk to me here. What are you afraid of?”

“I’m not scared of anything Jack!” Ryan exclaimed, throwing his entire body back on the bed, not even wincing when his shoulder hit the headboard.

“I think you are,” Jack said calmly, “he doesn’t talk to you about one little thing and shows some companionship to his best friend and you just freak out. You are scared,” he insisted, jabbing a finger at Ryan’s chest.

“That’s not true!”

“You’re scared because this is your first relationship and you think you’ll fuck it up. When you think like that of course you fuck it up, look at you now. Royally fucked up.” Ryan didn’t know if he should be offended or not at the way Jack was laying into him. Normally he would be coddling him, hugging him or telling him what he did was for the best. Ryan wasn’t too sure he liked this side of his best friend.

“Are you just gonna insult me now or can we just watch a movie or some shit?” he asked then, knowing that Jack was right and that fighting was useless.

Jack clicked his tongue at him but shrugged anyway knowing he had already pushed the limits today with some of the things he had said. He didn’t wanna make it any worse so he got off the bed to turn the Xbox on and grab their controllers. He handed one wordlessly to Ryan and started Halo. They didn’t talk again for a long time.

“You’re wrong, I’m not scared,” the blond muttered after their seventh PVP match.

“Yeah?” Jack asked.

“I’m fucking terrified,” he admitted looking down at the controller in his hands.

“You don’t have to be,”

“I know,” Ryan grit out then, eyes squeezed tightly shut. “I know I don’t have to be, but I just am. He’s perfect and I love him so much,” his voice was getting weaker and weaker as he went on and he still wouldn’t open his eyes. Jack couldn’t help the tiny smile that crossed his face at the fact that the blond was finally breaking.

“He loves you too; he wants to be with you. He deserves you,” he soothed, reaching out to rub the taller boy’s back.

“I don’t know what I’m doing Jack, we’re so young and in love, imagine when we graduate and never see each other again,” he snapped up to look at Jack, eyes wide and uncertain.

“You don’t know that, he might follow you,” Jack smiled sadly, watching as the mist in the other boy’s eyes finally spilled over, small tears trailing down his face and dripping off his chin onto his jeans.

“I wouldn’t want that for him,” Ryan said immediately. “I don’t want him to just follow me blindly only for him to resent me later. I want him to have an amazing future with someone that loves him more than anything, someone that can give him every little thing he’s ever wanted,” he rambled.

“And you couldn’t be that person?” Jack raised a brow at him, head tilted.

“No!” he yelled hysterically. The tears were streaming now, he didn’t even bother wiping them away figuring it was only Jack in the room. “He deserves someone that can give him the fucking sun if he asks for it. Jack, I can’t do that! I can’t give him everything he wants and more,” he blurted. “He would’ve tired of me eventually anyway,” he finished bitterly.

“That’s not true,” Jack argued, but before he could continue Ryan was standing off the bed.

“It is! I would’ve held him back and he would’ve seen it eventually, he’s a good kid, knows what he’s worth and it’s a lot more than me,”

“You guys are only sixteen Ryan. You have your whole life to fuck up, hold each other back, push each other forward, the whole spiel,” he waved him off. “You love each other, fucking love each other now, don’t worry about tomorrow or next week, worry about now!”

“Jack, every time two people get into a relationship they need to think, we’re either getting married or we’re breaking up, there’s no in between,”

“Jesus Christ, I’m talking to a brick wall,” Jack slapped his forehead. “Stop over thinking it, you’re working yourself up and setting yourself up for failure,”

“I can’t not over think. I want him to be happy with everything I have to offer,”

“He’s just happy with you next to him,”

“Yeah well, not anymore, I was a dick last night. He’d never take me back,” he sobbed, burying his face in his hands.

“He might, you won’t know if you don’t try,” Jack comforted wrapping an arm around the shuddering boy’s back.

“It’s too late now,” he whispered. “I can’t,” he practically pleaded when Jack glowered down at him.

“Fine, whatever, don’t worry about it today or tomorrow, you guys will take care of it eventually,” Jack told him, not making eye contact.

“You really think?” Ryan asked brow raised.

“I have faith in you,” Jack said honestly, handing Ryan a controller and starting the next game.

Ryan didn’t speak again until they were almost through with the match, “thanks,” he mumbled. Jack only hummed, throwing him a small smile before shooting him and ending the game.

~~~

“Fucking dicks dude,” Geoff greeted when Michael finally met him at the swing set of his old elementary school. “Come swing with me,”

“No way dude, the swings here suck. They shouldn’t have torn my elementary down, it was way cooler,” he said leaning against the polls holding the structure up.

“Suit yourself,” Geoff huffed, pumping his feet higher and higher. “Push me then asshole,” he said after a second when he realized that he couldn’t get that high since the swing was designed for children and his feet dragged on the ground with every pump. Michael chuckled and moved to stand behind the gent, pushing lightly at his back until he was soaring, and then Michael stepped away and cautiously took a seat on the swing next to him.

"How's Ray," Geoff asked.

"Christ man," Michael groaned, "he's a fucking mess," he said honestly.

"Really?" Geoff winced.

"Well yeah, he's been in love with Ryan for years,"

"Yeah, fuck, this is so messy," Geoff muttered.

“How’s Ryan?” Michael asked then kicking himself into motion.

“Weird,” Geoff shrugged. “He wouldn’t really answer my questions, but as soon as Jack said something he’d give some sort of explanation,” he tried not to sound bitter but Michael could hear it.

“To be honest I don’t really blame him,” Michael mumbled, looking apologetically at the other.

“The fuck does that mean?” Geoff came to a complete stop then, standing from his swing and standing in Michael’s path causing him to come to a quick stop, feet digging into the sand and body jerking forward. If he wasn't holding tightly to the chains holding him and the swing up he would've smacked right into the other.

“Whoa, calm down,” Michael reached out placing a hand on his chest. “I just mean,” He started, “you get a little… protective when it comes to us lads, Ryan probably figured you would report back to Ray or something,”

“Well, I wouldn’t,” he grumbled crossing his arms over his chest. “I talk to Ray a lot you know, on Xbox after you guys go to bed, he’s one of my best friends, but I love all of you, Ryan included,”

“I know that. We all know it. It’s just, sometimes in situations like this it’s kinda hard to tell just anyone what’s going on,”

“Expand?” Geoff asked.

“Like…” Michael paused then, taking a second to think. “We’re all best friends’ right? But it’s no question that Gavin is my _best_ friend, or Jack is yours or Ray was Ryan’s. There are some things about me that only Gavin knows, and there are things that you only tell Jack and so on. So like… maybe when it comes to things about Ray, Ryan tells Jack because he can’t go to Ray about problems involving Ray,” he rambled. “Get it?”

“Yeah yeah, I get it,” he sat back on his swing slowly digging his feet around in the sand.

“If it makes you feel any better Ray is the same way. Snappy with me, soft on Gavin,” he shrugged. “That doesn’t make him any less of a friend to me,”

“You’re right, sorry,”

“Its fine man, just you know, go easy they’re having a rough time,”

“Yeah,” Geoff huffed out, “other than all that, what happened to you two last night?” he asked suddenly.

“Fuck if I know dude,” Michael sighed. “I found Gavin, drunk and crying and when I asked him why all he said was ‘people are mean’ and then he went to bed,”

Geoff chuckled then, “he’s stupid,”

“I know,”

“Gotta love him though,”

“Yeah,” Michael said softly, small smile on his face.

Geoff looked away then, knowing smirk on his face. They swung quietly for a few minutes before Geoff was again coming to a stop and turning to Michael eyebrows furrowed together. “Is it just me or has he been acting really weird lately?”

“Oh absolutely,” Michael nodded, skidding to a halt next to him. “I can’t get anything out of him though, he’s just… he’s really quiet lately. I think last night was the first time he slept over in like, what a month?”

“Has it really been that long?” Geoff asked shocked. “I’m surprised you didn’t just drag him home with you,”

“I did last night,” Michael pointed out.

“Well yeah, he probably couldn’t have walked alone anyway, would’ve climbed into the back of some creeps van,” the older boy tried joking, but Michael found no humor in that.

“Well, good thing he didn’t,” he said stonily.

“Are you gonna talk to him about it?”

“Not right now, his main focus is Ray. I’ll just see if this behavior continues I guess,” he shrugged.

“God you sound like a therapist. ‘We need to monitor his behavior for the next several weeks before we make the diagnosis,’” Geoff teased.

“Shut up,” Michael laughed reaching out to punch lightly at his shoulder.

"I am worried about him though, if you find anything out let me know," Geoff said seriously then.

"You too," Michael nodded.

“So…” Geoff trailed off. “Should we like, go back to them now or something? See how they’re doing now?” he asked awkwardly.

“How about I go see Ryan and you go see Ray then?” Michael suggested.

“Sounds good,” Geoff nodded. “Text me later?”

“What are you? My girlfriend?” Michael smiled.

“Shut up,” Geoff rolled his eyes pulling his car keys from his pocket and walking toward where he was parked along the street.

“Talk later!” Michael called out, jogging in the opposite direction.

~~~

School that Monday had never been more awkward for the group. Gavin, Ray, Lindsay, Tina, and Meg had ditched lunch that day, settling themselves in the library. This made for an agitated Ryan, tapping his fingers on the table the whole lunch period. This made Michael, Geoff and Jack annoyed which made everything at the table tense. None of them were really talking to each other, not even Griffon and Caiti uttered more than two words to anyone having been told of the weekend’s events.

“Well,” Geoff stood up when the bell rang, “I’ll uh… see you guys later,” he nodded at the others, taking Griffon’s hand and heading out the door.

Jack and Caiti were next to leave, not even offering goodbyes, just walking out the door towards their classrooms.

“How are you doing?” Michael asked then since they were the only two left. When he had gone over to the other boy’s house Saturday he was alone, Jack having left only minutes before he arrived. They didn’t talk much, only when they were deciding what movie to watch next and Michael was okay with that since he could see that Ryan had recently been crying. He could only imagine what the other was feeling so he didn’t ask any questions.

“Fine,” Ryan mumbled sliding out of his seat and taking his tray towards the garbage. Michael followed closely behind him, holding both their backpacks.

“You gonna survive the rest of the school day?” he asked when the other turned around to face him. The cafeteria was emptying quickly leaving only them and a few other people roaming around.

“I’ll be fine Michael. I’m not upset,” he said sternly, roughly grabbing his bag and leaving.

“You know,” Michael started causing Ryan to let out a sigh as he came to a halt, he didn’t turn around though, letting Michael catch up. “You don’t need to lie to me, or put up a strong front,” he patted him on the back once walking right by.

“I’m not!” Ryan called after him beginning to walk again.

“Sure you aren’t!”

“Whatever,” Ryan snapped turning down the opposite hallway that Michael was heading down.

“Oh and Rye!” Michael called out, waiting for the blonds head to peek out from behind the corner again.

“What?” he asked exasperated.

“I’ll stop by after work tonight,” he told him, turning and walking away before he could protest.

“Michael!” he yelled loudly as the final bell rang meaning they would both be late anyway. The redhead turned around to face him waiting for more. “Thank you,” Ryan said quietly, just loud enough for Michael to hear him and this time they both walked away, small smiles on their faces.

When school and work were finally over Ryan returned to his home, crashing onto his bed and shutting his eyes, knowing Michael wouldn’t get out of work for another hour. It was then that he realized he hadn’t been completely alone all weekend, so he took the time to lie in bed peacefully and think about the last few days.

Saturday was rough for him after Jack had left he had only gotten about ten minutes of peace before Michael was waltzing into his room and taking a seat on his bed. Ryan steeled himself, ready for the inevitable outburst, but it never came. Instead Michael pulled his phone out and ordered a pizza right there on the blond’s bed, not even sparring him a glance. Ryan looked at him curiously waiting for him to say anything, but when he hung up and set his phone down he smiled at the blond and said, “I hope pepperoni is okay,”

“That’s fine,” Ryan said slowly, grabbing the remote off his nightstand cautiously. “Movie?” he sniffled, tensing up afterwards hoping Michael wouldn’t comment on his red nose and eyes either.

“Let’s watch something really kickass,” Michael smiled, lying down with his arms under his head focused only on the screen.

Ryan had been grateful for it then, hell he was still pretty grateful for Michael. They had spent the night watching movies that had no love story in them whatsoever, eating pizza and chugging red bulls until the early hours of the morning before they finally crashed.

When they woke up Sunday with pounding headaches from all the caffeine, still in their clothes from the day before, TV still on waiting at the Netflix main menu, Ryan couldn’t help but pull the redhead into a fierce hug, squeezing him tightly. He didn’t say anything when they pulled away, but when he saw the smile on Michael’s face he knew that the other had heard the silent ‘Thank you.’

The rest of the day had been spent at work and then going home to an empty house with a note from his parents that they’d be home in a few hours after dinner. He decided he’d take the night to relax by himself… And then Geoff showed up with a pint of ice cream and Ryan really wasn’t gonna turn him away. So they spent the night in his room eating junk and playing video games. However since it was a school night they cleaned up and went to bed at a reasonable hour which was unlikely for them.

They made it to school on time and it was then that Ryan realized he was about to come face to face with his ex-boyfriend for the first time since the split. While they had agreed to remain friends they both knew it was an empty promise, so Ryan braced himself for any sort of reaction from Ray. He was prepared for a slap to the face in a blind rage, a crying mess or an overly cheerful mask. What he wasn’t prepared for was a completely impassive Ray, not even looking at him while he rummaged through his locker for textbooks and papers.

Gavin noticed Ryan first but instead of saying anything or pointing him out he took Ray’s arm and headed for the staircase at the end of the hall. Ryan tried not to glare at the Brit, but he couldn’t help the annoyance that rose up in him, watching how effortlessly they fit together, arms linked and in step.

He didn’t know what he had been expecting when he walked into history, but it wasn’t to see Miles in the seat that Ray usually occupied. His eyes scanned the room, landing on Ray and Arryn sitting quietly next to each other. Slowly he walked into the room sliding into his seat and looking at Miles curiously.

“What’s up?” he asked.

“Ray asked if I’d change seats with him so here I am,” Miles grinned at him. Ryan merely nodded at him before pulling his books from his back and setting them in front of him. “Look man,” Miles said suddenly as their teacher walked in, “I’m sorry things didn’t work out between you,”

Ryan did a double take, not expecting such sincerity in the other’s voice. “Uh… Thanks,” he smiled softly, facing forward again.

He couldn’t help but sneak little glances behind him throughout the lesson, but every time he looked he found Ray with his face buried behind his books or with his head bent as he scribbled on a worksheet. He had hoped that they would’ve been able to talk in class, figure out how this whole ‘friend’ thing would be working, but it seemed Ray wanted to make sure he knew that there was absolutely no chance of that happening.

 _I could always talk to him after class,_ he thought, but when the bell rang and he stood to pack his belongings he looked up just in time to see Ray’s back mixing in with the hundreds of kids crowding the hallway.

“Fuck,” Ryan whispered to himself, ignoring the strange looks he received from the few classmates remaining in the room.

He shouldered his bag on and rushed into the hallway letting himself be pulled into the sea of students, trying to remember which classroom number Ray had math in. He had to be quick though since they only had ten minutes between blocks.

He wandered down the math wing, looking in each classroom as he passed taking a quick scan of the room. Finally when he came to room _217_ he looked in to see Gavin and Ray sitting side by side, they weren’t looking at the door or facing forward though, they were turned around towards where Matt and Jeremy were sitting, each of them engaged in a tense glaring contest.

Ryan stood by the doorway weighing the options of walking in or not for a minute before someone was clearing their throat behind him and pushing their way into the classroom not even waiting for him to move. Ryan turned to look down the hallway for a moment but when he turned back around he met Ray’s eyes across the room since the other had finally turned around. Ryan froze when Ray’s brown eyes met his blue, trying to work up the courage to step in, but when Ray broke the contact and looked back at Gavin to his right Ryan knew he wasn’t welcome. He walked away just as Gavin looked up at him, turning to Ray and wrapping his arm around him to pull him into his side.

He spent all of his second block class in a daydream. He couldn’t remember anything the teacher was saying, didn’t take any notes for the test that was coming up two days later. He thought the entire time about Ray, Ray with him, Ray with Gavin, and yet again his insecurities started eating away at him until he excused himself to the bathroom for the remaining twenty minutes of class.

He splashed water on his face and stared at himself in the mirror. He hated to admit it, he really did, but he was a mess without Ray. Normally he would’ve been up the night before talking to him on the phone and they would’ve spent the morning at their lockers cuddled up while they talked about the remainder of their weekends with everyone else. They would’ve walked to history together and made stupid faces at each other as their teacher lectured about the revolutionary war because neither of them really cared.

He fucked up. He had really outdone himself in the fucked up department. Now instead of getting to do all that he had to watch as Ray got closer to Gavin, had to sit in silence and had no one to make faces at during class, had no one to walk with and he couldn’t blame anyone else.

When the bell rang for lunch he left the bathroom with his head down, moving to his classroom to retrieve his bag and join his friends at the table, again preparing himself mentally to face Ray and Gavin and the disapproving stares from his friends, but instead of a completely neutral Ray, he was met with no Ray. No Gavin either. Michael also looked annoyed when he sat down, muttering something to Geoff when he joined them about the library.

The rest of the day flew by and then he was at work, changing into his uniform and walking out of the bathroom to come face to face with a very eager and confused Barbara. He knew she was a good friend of his, but that didn’t stop her from pestering him with questions about the break up. He knew she had a good heart and just wanted to make sure they were both okay and he felt bad for almost snapping so many times but honestly come on! He didn’t need any gossip getting around the school and Barbara was probably the most popular person in their grade, so he spent his entire shift avoiding the concession stand where she was, instead he cleaned theaters with Joel and ripped tickets.

Now he was safe in his house while he waited for Michael to arrive and while it should’ve been a calm time for him to wind down from the day and prepare for tomorrow, try to figure out a game plan, but the more he sat and thought the angrier he got.

All he could think about was Gavin and Ray, Ray and Arryn, Ray in the library with Tina _and_ Gavin. He knew he couldn’t be mad at any of them, but dammit, the thought of Ray with two other potential love interests made his stomach tighten and his head ache. It got so bad that by the time Michael had arrived and walked into the boys room, throwing his bag on the computer chair and settling into the bed Ryan was standing ramrod straight and glaring down at him.

“Uh hi?” Michael waved, eyes wide.

“Can you fucking control your boyfriend?” the blond snapped.

Michael flinched back not expecting the outburst, “Dude, what the fuck?” he scooted back on the mattress, putting some space between them just in case. Normally Ryan would’ve been offended, but out of all six of them he and Michael were the most likely to snap.

“Gavin has been all over Ray for a fucking month, it’s like I can’t go one fucking minute without the two of them being together and I’m losing my mind,” he seethed.

“Jesus Christ dude. A couple things,” Michael nodded holding up three fingers. “One, Gavin isn’t my boyfriend. Two, they’re best friends; they’re allowed to be close. Three, you broke up with Ray, you’re in no position to be snapping right now,” he snarked.

“I’m allowed to be pissed,” Ryan argued. “We broke up three days ago, it’s not fair that he can just move on!”

“Whoa, dude, calm the fuck down,” Michael commanded standing up and getting in the other’s space. They were both happy that his parents weren’t there to witness the exchange. “It’s been three days, Ray has sure as hell not moved on. He’s a fucking wreck right now man, so you need to take a second and breathe. He’s allowed to be comforted by his friends, and that’s all they are Ryan, his _friends,”_ Michael told him. “You can only be mad at yourself, leave Gavin out of it,”

Ryan breathed deeply then, shutting his eyes and turning his head away from the other boy. He knew he had overreacted, knew he shouldn’t have snapped at him, but he just couldn’t help it after the shit day he had had.

“You good?” Michael asked after he had been silent for too long. Ryan looked up and met his eyes, his expression was softer than it was a minute ago and Ryan knew that he wouldn’t hold it against him.

“Y-yeah, sorry,” he whispered looking away again.

“Now,” Michael began sitting back down, tugging at the hem of Ryan’s shirt for him to join him. “I know when I’m sad I just need a nap, so we’re gonna sleep,” he announced, pulling the covers back.

“Really? What are we five?” Ryan asked but it was teasing so Michael knew he’d give in.

“I wish, everything would be easier,” he answered seriously. Ryan only hummed in agreement and then they were both shutting their eyes, not caring that it was only nine o’clock and they’d probably both be waking up in only hours, unable to go back to sleep, but they’d just have a few red bulls in the morning and get over it.

~~~

Normally Ray would be the buffer in math class when Gavin got too many notes at once, would turn around and send Matt and Jeremy a glare that would scare even the grim reaper, but this week he just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He tried to be supportive, tell Gavin that every word was a lie, every bit of paper on his desk wasn’t worth it, but he didn’t say it with the same fire he usually did and Gavin knew why, but that didn’t stop him from letting it get to him more.

Each day they left math class slower, dragging their feet to the library where they would meet the girls and attempt to take Ray’s mind off things. It had only been five days since the break up and he was still not handling it well. Gavin had spent every night with him since Saturday, staying while Jack, Geoff or Michael came to visit too, curling up with him when everyone else was gone and they were left in the dark, too lazy to play games and both too unfocused to watch a movie.

Just because he was there though didn’t mean he was actually getting any sleep, Ray woke up almost every night crying at some point or another, and while he tried his hardest to be quiet Gavin always woke up to comfort him. Of course Ray didn’t want to talk about it, both of them stuck with their own thoughts and Gavin felt horrible for not thinking and caring only about Ray and his predicament, he just couldn’t stop thinking about math class. It seemed that after only one day of Ray’s halfhearted attempts to stop the dicks in the back, they took notice and upped their game. Gavin wouldn’t tell anyone but he had almost one hundred pieces of paper stuffed in the bottom of his bag, many of them duplicates since Matt and Jeremy weren’t exactly original or creative but they still cut into him whenever he read them over, especially after what happened at the party a few days prior.

Today was the worst day by far, neither of them had actually slept, instead they just lay in bed beside each other. They were both aware that the other wasn’t asleep since their breathing never evened out, and while they were both wide awake they couldn’t work up the energy to start a conversation.

It was so bad in fact that as soon as math class was over Ray was gone, not even waiting for Gavin to catch up, just speeding down the hall to his locker to get his books and then head to the library. Gavin would’ve run after him to catch up, but all his books were still scattered around the table in front of him. The halls were clearing quickly since everyone was always in a rush to get the best slice of pizza or the biggest chicken burger, so when Gavin was finally by himself on the way to his locker he was shocked that he didn’t hear the footsteps behind him, both pairs. He didn’t realize anyone was following him until he was roughly shoved into the lockers, his whole body slamming into them with a loud crash.

“Hey princess,” Matt grinned, “where’s the other fag?” he asked doing a quick scan of the area, smiling when he saw no one in sight.

“Bugger off,” Gavin muttered, straightening himself out and fixing his bag on his shoulders.

“What?” Jeremy raised his brows shocked that Gavin had said anything to them since he normally didn’t.

“Leave me alone,” Gavin said then fixing them with a hard glare.

“Aww he thinks he’s intimidating, how cute,” Matt cooed turning to Jeremy with a smirk.

Gavin simply rolled his eyes and moved to walk around the two when they slammed him back against the lockers, closing in on him. It was then that they heard footsteps and looked up to see that Ryan had just turned the corner, frozen in place just watching them. Matt and Jeremy shared a quick glance before they both stepped away from the Brit and booked it in the other direction.

“Gav?” the blond asked carefully, taking a few steps closer. “What was that about?” he asked. Even though he had been on and off again infuriated at the sight of the Brit the last few weeks he couldn’t help but be concerned.

“Don’t tell anyone,” Gavin hissed out, stepping forward and getting right in Ryan’s space.

“Gavin what-“

“We aren’t talking about it,” Gavin cut him off walking right by him in the direction of the library.

“Wait whoa, no,” Ryan grabbed him by the arm and turned him around to face him. “Tell me what’s going on? Does that happen often?”

"What do you care? You've barely spoken to me in the last month," 

"Gavin, I'm not playing this game right now, answer the damn question," the blond snapped.

“Ryan, I mean it,” he said sternly, “I’m not talking about it, and you better not tell anyone or I will fucking end you,” he threatened sounding more menacing than Ryan had ever heard before. Ryan couldn’t even register any words to say when Gavin was viciously ripping himself free and running away.

When Gavin was finally home, cleaning out his back pack and changing into pajamas, his mother called up to him that he had a visitor. He figured it was Ray so he rushed out of his room towards the staircase only to stop in his tracks when he saw Ryan standing in the doorway.

“Can I come up?” he asked rubbing at the back of his neck.

“Uh… yeah,” Gavin turned and walked right back into his room waiting for Ryan to join him before closing the door and sitting in his computer chair. “Why are you here?”

“I wanted to talk I guess,” he shrugged sitting slowly on Gavin’s bed, never breaking eye contact.

“You didn’t tell anyone did you?”

“No, I probably should’ve but I figured I’d get the full story first,” he said.

“You’re not getting any story,” the Brit told him crossing his arms.

“Okay, fine,” Ryan leaned back making himself comfortable. Gavin watched him curiously, skeptically, waiting for him to say or do something but when he didn't after five minutes Gavin was left confused.

“So… What else is there?” he asked.

“What do you mean?”

“You haven’t come to my house alone in a while; you’ve barely talked to me in just as long. If I’m not telling you the story you’ve got no reason to stay, unless there’s something else,” he accused.

“You’re smart,” Ryan pointed at him.

The truth was after Gavin had run off earlier that day Ryan finally realized that, yeah, there was something else going on with the Brit. Normally he would’ve run into Ryan’s arms and thanked him for ‘saving’ him, instead he had threatened him to keep silent and run away. Ryan thought back to what Jack had said about being scared, how he should’ve talked to Ray before breaking up with him, and since it was too late for that he figured maybe clearing things up with Gavin would be best.

“Look,” Ryan started. “You’re right. I’ve been avoiding you for a while,”

“I knew it! Ray told me I was being crazy but I knew it!” he cheered throwing his arms in the air before he seemed to realize something and brought them back down. “Why?”

“Is there,” he paused to take a deep breath preparing himself for the answer he hoped he wouldn’t actually get, “is there something going on between you and Ray?” he shut his eyes tight not seeing the way Gavin’s eyes nearly flew out of his head.

“Christ, Ryan, no. He’s my friend, but only that,” Gavin said quickly. “I mean, we kissed the one time, but… Ryan, I don’t know if you’ve realized that I’m in love with Michael?” he added.

“I know, I know. I just… you and Ray have been so secretive lately, I didn’t know if-“

"Why does everyone think everyone else is in love with me?" Gavin asked the ceiling annoyed.

"What?"

“Nothing," he shook his head. "Look, we aren’t hooking up,” Gavin assured him. “Actually…” Gavin said then causing Ryan to freeze up. “It would probably be good for me to tell someone other than Ray about this,” he whispered more to himself than to Ryan.

“What?”

“The thing you saw today,” he started, “As you know Matt and Jeremy are in my math class,”

“Yeah?”

“Well. I’ll just show you,” Gavin announced then, walking over to his nightstand and pulling the drawer open.

He grabbed a handful of papers from the bunch and released them in the blond’s lap. He felt oddly proud of himself as he watched Ryan unfold each one and examine them, wincing himself at some of the more vulgar notes, some with pictures or stories. He promised himself he would never show anyone this lovely collection of his, but he was also desperate to prove to Ryan that nothing was going on, and having someone else on his side was something he could probably use right now. He’d never show Michael because as much as he loved the other boy he knew that he wouldn’t just sit back and relax, he’d pick a fight just to prove he were some sort of… alpha and Gavin didn’t need him getting suspended because of him.

“Gavin, I- I don’t understand?” Ryan said finally after he had looked at the last one.

“They sit behind Ray and I and they’ve been making these little… gifts every day, throwing them at our desks and taunting us. I wanted to tell you guys the second it started happening, but… Ray told me not to since it wasn’t that bad and he didn’t want you to worry about him,” he admitted. "So that's why we've been 'secretive' we're mainly just talking about those and trying to cheer each other up, me more than him," he curled up around himself then looking down at the floor.

“Did it ever get physical until today?” Ryan asked seriously.

“No,” Gavin said honestly, repeating it when Ryan narrowed his eyes at him.

“Okay,” Ryan nodded. 

“We aren’t sleeping together or whatever, we’re… comforting each other? I guess?” 

“Okay,” the blond said. “I- I’m sorry Gavin, I’ve been a dick,”

“Yeah well, it’s okay,” Gavin smiled opening his arms for the other. They hadn’t hugged in quite some time it felt like and Gavin couldn’t help the happy sigh that escaped him. 

When they pulled away and sat side by side on the bed, touching from shoulder to hip Ryan looked down at the pile of papers again then over to the boy next to him. “Gavin?”

“Hmm?”

“Why do you keep them?” he asked gesturing to the drawer.

“I- I’m not really sure?” it was more of a question. “I just… I don’t know. When they first started coming I thought nothing of it, but then I’d see how mad Ray got, how hard he tried to get me to ignore them and I started thinking, ‘Is this how people really see me?’ And it just started eating at me and I felt like… I had to be aware of how awkward I must make people around me feel? Don’t you ever feel like that?” he asked then. Now that he had finally said it out loud he started to realize how ridiculous the whole thing sounded, but he needed someone to understand.

“Because I’m gay?”

“Well yeah,” Gavin shrugged. “There are so many homophobes and dicks out there, don’t you ever worry that you’re making them uncomfortable?” he averted his gaze then when he saw the pity in Ryan’s eyes, watched his mouth drop open.

“Oh, Gavin,” Ryan breathed, reaching forward and pulling him into his arms. Gavin couldn’t help it then, he finally burst into tears, tired of waiting until the sun was down and his room was dark to let his emotions out, he was exhausted really. Exhausted of over thinking every encounter he had with someone of the same sex in public, tired of the stares and whispers around him. He let himself cry, sob into Ryan’s chest while he rubbed his back with one hand and petted his head with the other.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin mumbled against his shirt, sniffling and pulling back as much as he could in the tight hold to wipe at his face.

“Gavin, don’t apologize. Not to me, not to anyone. God, don’t worry about other’s being uncomfortable, dammit Gavin, worry about yourself,” Ryan’s eyes were wet too and Gavin took some sort of comfort in it, burying himself back into the other’s arms and trying to calm down.

“You still won’t tell anyone right? Please? I can’t have Michael knowing,” he begged suddenly.

“Gavin…” Ryan trailed off, not really sure if that was something he could agree to.

“Ryan, please. If something bad happens again I’ll tell you, just you, Geoff and Michael will get really mad,” he curled his fist in Ryan’s shirt then tugging weakly and Ryan swore he felt his heart crack just a little more than it already was.

“Fine,” he deadpanned. “But if something happens and you don’t tell me and I find out, I will not only tell everyone but I will personally kick their asses and then yours for hiding it,” he warned.

“I’d expect nothing less,” Gavin shrugged.

“Good,”

"I'm sorry you thought Ray and I were together or something," he added.

"That's my own stupid fault," he told him.

“Thank you,”

“No, thank you,” Ryan said seriously, grabbing the boy’s hands tightly.

“For what?”

“For telling me what’s going on, for not bad mouthing me about this whole break up. I know we haven’t talked since it happened, but, you weren’t jumping down my throat either,” he smiled.

“I’m pissed at you for that actually,” Gavin started, “but, whatever your reasons are are yours. I hope you two can work this out though, and just know that if I ever have to pick between you two I’d pick him, but I do love you too Rye,” he told him honestly.

“I’d expect nothing less,” he winked.

~~~

“Dude, I'm scared to see how this goes,” Jack said nervously as he slid into the passenger seat of Geoff’s car.

It was their first boy’s night since the royal break up, as they called it, and they were all a little tense as they made their way to Gavin’s house. They all knew now that Ryan and Ray had agreed to stay friends, but they hadn’t said one word to each other in a week so they were all prepping for the worst.

“It’s gonna go to shit,” Geoff told him as he started backing out of his driveway.

“Should we just sit with Ryan and make sure Ray is like, across the room at all times?” Jack suggested.

“No way man,” Geoff shut him down. “I’m not getting any more involved in this shit. I’ll be civil and talk to both of them, but I’m not gonna babysit. If they can’t be adults in this situation then fuck them,” he ranted.

“Fair enough,” Jack held his hands up. “I’m just glad it’s not you and Griffon, otherwise the world would’ve ended,” he chuckled.

“Nah, Griffon and I are too in love for this middle school bullshit,” Geoff beamed. “Just last night we were talking about how we don’t want to end up like them, and how we would always communicate openly and all that shit,”

“Romantic,” Jack laughed.

“Well… I kinda zoned out when she started kissing me so I forgot the rest of the conversation,” the older boy wiggled his eyebrows then earning a fake gag out of his best friend.

“Whatever, let’s just get this over with,” Jack groaned when they pulled into Gavin’s driveway, climbing out of the car and grabbing their overnight bags.

When they walked into the boy’s living room they weren’t shocked to find Gavin and Ray curled up on one end the couch while Michael and Ryan played video games. Gavin sent them a grateful look when they walked in.

“Look guys! The gangs all here!” he yelled, jumping up and pulling both of them into a bone crushing hug. “Thank god you’re here,” he whispered.

“Let’s party!” Geoff whooped quickly, dropping his bag and settling in next to Ray wrapping an arm around him.

It was one of the most awkward experiences for all of them, no one wanted to talk to either Ray or Ryan since neither boy wanted any attention on them. When the pizza came and they all dug in everyone held their breath when Ray and Ryan both went for the same slice, hands brushing against each other’s briefly.

“You can have it,” Ray mumbled pulling his hand back as if burned.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Ryan waved him off, going for a slice of cheese pizza in the other box. Ray shrugged and reached for it, not making eye contact with any of them, but still a collective sigh of relief was given when there was no fighting.

Things went easily enough for the next few hours while they watched the first two Star Wars movies, but when it was time for bed they seemed to realize a problem. As they set up their sleeping areas Ray threw a helpless look towards Gavin and Michael. Gavin caught on quickly though, pushing Michael’s sleeping bag over to make room for Ray between them. Gavin didn’t even apologize when Michael pouted at him, instead he just grabbed Ray’s pillow and threw it down. “Right here boy,” he smiled.

Ray smiled at him thankfully and settled in, turning away from where Ryan was in the recliner and squeezing his eyes shut, willing the tears that were building up away.

When Geoff shut the lights off Gavin took a quick peek over at Ryan to see that he too was facing away from them. He looked over at Michael who looked both annoyed and hurt but he decided not to dwell on it, wrapping Ray up and pulling him in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah, I hope you enjoy it. I'm letting you all know now that so much shit is happening in the next chapter so I'm not even gonna sit here and tell you that "It'll be out by next weekend," or anything cause the truth is I have no idea, I've got so much planned for it so... Anyway I hope to hear from some of you soon and don't worry, there will finally be some Raywood interaction in the next chapter ;)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it's been so long, I've had quite the month.  
> I'm not too happy with how this chapter turned out and I feel I could've done a lot better but here we are. Sorry if it's a little rushed towards the end as well, I might go back and edit it later.  
> School starts again next week so I make no promises on when the next update will be but hopefully I can work on it soon.  
> Enjoy!

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Three weeks.

It had been three weeks since the break up and Ryan was losing his mind.

It was bad enough that his own heart was still mending itself back together. It was bad that all his friends kept sending him these little glares and looks whenever Ray and he were in the same room together. The worst thing though was that if they were ever left in a room together, _alone,_ Ray would high tail it out of there.

Three movie nights. One at Gavin’s, one at Michael’s and now one at Geoff’s. Each of them had started off easy enough, everyone making small talk and jokes while they figured out dinner and movies. The first time it happened was an accident, Ray had left for the bathroom and when he did Ryan was asked if he could get Geoff a bottle of water since he was closest to the door. He was in the kitchen, rummaging through the fridge when he heard footsteps. He looked up to see Ray standing there frozen, eyes wide.

“Sorry, I was just…” Ray trailed off, gesturing towards the fridge.

“Malta?” the blond offered, pulling one out. Ray swallowed and nodded, hesitantly stepping forward to take it.

“Thanks,” Ray said and then he was turning and power walking out before Ryan could even say his name.

At school when they were the last two in the classroom, Ray would move faster to pack his belongings and take off.

“You dropped your pen!” Ryan called after him.

“Don’t need it!” Ray yelled back, not even stopping to look at Ryan.

The next morning they were the last two in the hallway after the morning bell rang, Ryan because he forgot his history binder and Ray because he was five minutes late to school in the first place.

Ryan realized it first that they were the only two, rustling around and slamming things into the walls of the small spaces. He turned toward the other, mouth open and ready to greet him, but before he could make a sound his math textbook slipped out of his bag and landed with aloud slap against the tiled floors. When Ray looked up his eyes widened, and then he was slamming his locker shut and running in the opposite direction of their class.

Now, Ryan was on a mission.

When he had texted Ray about staying friends, it may have been a little insensitive at the time, but he did mean it and it very clearly was not going to happen if Ray had any say apparently.

“Geoff, did you buy any Malta?” Ray asked getting off the couch.

“Yeah, check the fridge man,” he responded, “and grab me a coke while you’re at it!” he called after the other boy.

“Anyone else?” Ray asked stopping in the doorway. Everyone else raised their hands which had Ray glaring halfheartedly and mumbling about only having two arms as he stalked out. Ryan watched him go, looking over at the others and seeing them completely focused on their game, so he followed the other boy into the kitchen, standing far enough back that he wouldn’t spook him.

“Hey,” he said casually. Even though he tried not to scare him Ray still jumped almost a foot in the air, nearly banging his head off the fridge door.

“Hi,” he said when he turned around.

“Do you need some help?” Ryan asked, nodding towards the cans in his hands.

“I should be fine, thanks,” Ray waved him off with a small smile.

“Okay,” Ryan started, but he made no move to leave which had Ray tilting his head at him in question.

“Is there something else you needed?” the boy asked.

“How have you been?” Ryan smiled softly at him.

“Fine,” the other said slowly, closing the door and gathering all the drinks in his arms. Neither moved, both of them just watching the other, waiting for someone to do something.

“How’s… school going?” Ryan asked then, sure he sounded like an idiot.

“Look, you don’t need to pretend to care,” Ray told him. “Actually, you don’t _get_ to pretend you care,” there was an edge to his voice that made Ryan flinch.

“Ray, come on, I still care about you,” the blond said, lifting his hand as if to reach out, but after thinking better he dropped it back to his side.

“No you don’t. So don’t go giving me some stupid hope that you still want me. You ended things, so let’s keep them this way,”

“I also said I still wanted to be friends,” he pointed out.

“Well, I need time before I can make that work,” Ray glared as he walked past him. This time Ryan didn’t say anything, yet again letting him walk away.

Turns out the only ‘time’ Ray was allowed was another four days. They were in their history class first thing in the morning when it was announced they had a test that Friday and according to their teacher ‘it’s not something you can pass without studying for at least two hours, I suggest partnering up and meeting outside of school,’

Almost instantly people were looking across the room towards their friends and making a silent agreement to work together. Ryan didn’t even bother turning around, just pulled his phone from his pocket and texted Ray, praying he’d accept.

_My house tomorrow night?_

He knew it was a stretch, doubted the other boy would even read it, but within seconds he had a reply.

_Sure, be there at 6_

Ryan couldn’t keep the grin from his face for the rest of the class.

He had hoped that once the bell rang he would be able to talk to Ray, maybe he’d come back to the cafeteria during lunch, but as usual the bell rang and Ray was gone, bolting from his seat and out the back door before the teacher could even wish them a good day.

Still Ryan had high spirits; walking into the café like he was the king of the world, grin wide on his face and eyes slightly wild. When he joined his friends, minus Gavin and Ray they were all a little surprised.

“Are you okay?” Geoff was the first one to break the confused silence.

“I’m great actually,” he said back.

“Ray?” Michael asked cautiously.

“He’s coming over to study tomorrow night,” the blond announced, watching all of their mouths morph into tiny ‘o’ shapes.

“Are you gonna get back together?”

“Nope,” Ryan shrugged, “we’re just gonna study, but it’s a step towards us being friends, yeah?”

“You’re an idiot,” Michael rolled his eyes, sliding off the bench and heading for the door.

“Where are you going?” Geoff called after him.

“Library, I need some lad time,” Michael answered and then he was gone, walking down the hallway with his tray in his hands.

When he made it to the library he met Gavin, Ray, Tina and Meg sitting at one of the rectangular tables in the corner, each of them bent together as they talked quietly.

“Hey guys,” he said well before he reached them so he wouldn’t startle them.

“Hey Michael,” Meg smiled pulling the chair out next to her.

“We were just discussing how stupid Ray is to be going to Ryan’s tomorrow night, thoughts?” Tina asked, leaning towards him with her hand on her chin.

“Actually yeah, he just told us about it,” Michael announced causing them all to turn to him patiently.

“And?” Ray asked.

“’It’s a step in the right direction of being friends,’ or some bullshit,” Michael waved them off.

“Oh,” Ray whispered, head hanging low.

“Don’t let that get you down,” Gavin nudged him. “Maybe when you two are actually alone for a while you can get some of those answers you’ve been searching for,” he said brightly.

“He might have a point,”

“Yeah, I guess,” Ray mumbled, forcing a small smile.

“Just, give it a shot, maybe being friends is what’ll get you back to where you want to be,” Tina told him, placing her hand on top of his gently.

“He doesn’t want me though,” Ray muttered.

“If he didn’t want you he wouldn’t be trying so hard to be friends,”

“ _Friends,_ ” Ray snapped. “That’s all he wants from me,”

“You don’t know that,” Tina argued, “something might’ve come up, something personal, fuck I don’t know, but you can’t just jump ship,”

“Whatever,” he crossed his arms and turned to the left, avoiding all their eyes.

Michael tried making small talk with Gavin for the remainder of the lunch period, but the other boy seemed adamant about talking to anyone but him. Every time Michael commented on anything, Gavin made sure to tell Meg how awesome her new purple hair looked, how pretty her eyes were, how nice her shirt looked. Michael was about to scream in frustration when the bell finally rang, he said goodbye, told Gavin and Ray he’d see them in English and took off.

The second he was safely in his next class he pulled his phone out and texted Geoff.

_Swings tonight?_

The answer came a few minutes later, a simple ‘sure’ and then the final bell was ringing and they were settling in for an hour and a half of lectures and learning.

~~~

“I can’t fucking handle this bullshit anymore,” Geoff greeted when he finally arrived that night at the swing set.

“Heartbreak duty?” Michael smirked. They didn’t talk until they were both on the swings, pumping their legs wildly trying to see who could get the highest before giving up and just letting themselves go freely. “So?” Michael asked finally, Geoff turned to him then with a glare before opening his mouth.

“Jack got called into work so I had to go over, and it’s not like Ryan actually talks to me so we just play video games and he wins every god damn time,” he ranted.

“Hopefully it won’t last much longer,”

“It better not, I’m tired of this, I just want us all to be together at lunch again,” he pouted.

“Aww you miss the lads,”

“Damn right I do,” Geoff nodded. “So why’d you call me here in the first place?”

“Gavin,” Michael shrugged.

“He being a little shit?” Geoff asked.

“Yeah!” Michael yelled, hands flying up to his hair. “Every time I try to talk to him he just ignores me, he won’t come to my house and hang out, and he barely answers my texts unless they’re about Ray. I don’t know what I did to piss him off this badly,” he finished with a small crack.

Geoff watched him for a long minute to make sure he wouldn’t burst into tears or anything before he shrugged, “I don’t know what to tell ya, Gavin can be quite the mystery when he wants to be,”

“Fucking tell me about it,” Michael chuckled humorlessly.

“Why not just kidnap him? You have a car,” the other pointed out.

“I tried, he’s never home!” Michael yelled pushing himself off the swing and letting himself fall face first into the sand. He let out a muffled scream, a long one that had Geoff both impressed and worried.

“How about tomorrow night I go to Ray’s and take over, you snag Gavin and drive into the sunset,” he offered.

“I would, but if Ray is really going to Ryan’s tomorrow there is no way in hell Gavin will leave him alone till he gets all the details,” Michael said once he lifted his head up and spit the sand out.

“Good point, what about the night after?” Geoff suggested.

“Could work, we’ll see, I wanna try talking to him before then, if I can’t then yeah, I’m not afraid to go to jail for kidnapping him,” he said sitting up.

“How’s Ray doing anyway? I haven’t seen him too much,” Geoff asked then, sticking his legs out to come to a stop, feet dragging through the sand.

“He’s doing better than he was the first few days, but I mean, that’s not saying much,” Michael shrugged. “He’s still pretty bummed out, still in love,” Michael told him wistfully.

“They’re so stupid and young, think this is the worst thing that could ever happen,” Geoff rolled his eyes. “They’ll be back together by next month, I’m calling it,” he threw his hands up.

“Probably, but for now it is the worst thing they could deal with, their home lives are fine and they’ve got the most amazing friends in the world, plus they’re doing fine in school this year, so,” Michael shrugged.

“Yeah, you’re right,”

“Still, it sucks right now, things are so tense,”

“God, I hate break ups, movies, books, real life, they all suck,” Geoff groaned.

“I can’t imagine you and Griffon breaking up,”

“Me either man,” he smiled.

“Or Jack and Caiti for that matter,” Michael added.

“I’m just worried about when she goes back to Australia in the summer,” Geoff told him.

“I forgot about that,” Michael said suddenly, eyes wide. “Jack’s gonna be a wreck,”

“I don’t know, we’ve talked, he knows she’ll be going home, but she said she’s gonna come back next year,”

“Yeah, but a lot could happen between now and next year,” the redhead pointed out, Geoff nodded and started swinging again. Michael joined him and again they started racing to who could get the highest the fastest.

They swung for five more minutes before Geoff sighed and came to an abrupt halt, almost throwing himself off the swing in the process.

“I think I’m gonna go see Ray, he hasn’t been on Xbox for a ranting session in a while,” he announced.

“Have fun, I think I’m just gonna go crash,” Michael told him, pointing in the general direction of his neighborhood.

“Goodnight man,”

“Night,”

Geoff rushed back to his car, climbing into the driver’s seat and starting it up. He pulled out onto the road and made his way towards Ray’s house.

He had been thinking a lot about it recently and he felt horrible. He had been so busy with Ryan and school and Griffon that he hadn’t personally gone to check on Ray in a few days, hadn’t texted or called, and not sent him a game invite, nothing. So he figured it was only fair that he relieve Gavin for the night and curl up with his favorite Puerto Rican.

He drove quickly to the boy’s house, pulling in behind the boy’s mom’s car and killing the engine. He waited patiently at the door for Gavin to come open in since he had texted him.

“Hey man, what’re you doing here?” the Brit greeted.

“I figured I’d let you go home tonight, I wanted to see him,” he smiled. Gavin looked surprised, but Geoff knew it was okay because soon a wide grin was spreading across the boy’s face.

“That’s great! I know he’d love to see you,” Gavin pulled him into the room and started racing back up the stairs leaving Geoff to kick his shoes off quickly and rush to follow.

By the time he made it to Ray’s bedroom Gavin was already on his bed telling him what was going on, “Geoff’s gonna spend the night,” to which Ray looked shocked, but also excited, smiling when said boy walked in to meet the two.

“Dude, party!” Ray cheered throwing his fists in the air.

“Yeah man,” Geoff laughed going to join him on the bed.

“So, I’ll see you tomorrow?” Gavin asked looking directly at Ray.

“Yeah man, see ya,” he said as the Brit pulled him into a long hug. Minutes later they heard the front door close and they were left alone.

“So,” Geoff started, “how are you?” he asked, looking at him sternly.

“I’ve been better,” the boy shrugged, “but maybe soon things could go back to somewhat normal,”

“You mean, like, you and Ryan getting back together?” Geoff raised a brow.

“No, no,” Ray shook his head quickly, “but maybe we can go back to like, freshmen year?” he said it as more of a question.

“Yeah, maybe, but you’re going to his house tomorrow right?”

“Yeah… Now I know what you might think, God knows Gavin and Michael don’t approve, but I do want to try this friends thing out. I’ve had time and I think it could work,” he said, but there was a tone of hope to his voice that Geoff wasn’t sure he liked.

“Hey man, I’m not here to judge, I’m just here to make sure you don’t get hurt,”

“Yeah, I know. I just, I think it could work; I really really do, but…”

“What?” Geoff asked head tilted.

“I’m just worried. I know it’s just to study, but this stupid part of me is trying to convince the rest of me that he wants to get back together, and I know thinking like that is what’s gonna get me hurt in the end,” he told him.

“Yeah, it might, but it might also be right?” Geoff offered, mentally slapping himself right after. “But I don’t know anything!” he said hastily. “So don’t go in there thinking that I’ve given you some sort of hint or some bullshit, cause I really don’t know any more than you,”

“I won’t, thanks though,” Ray smiled softly, snuggling into the other’s side. “You’re my favorite gent;” he whispered then, “don’t tell Jack,”

“Technically I’m you’re second favorite, but thanks,” Geoff winked back, ruffling the boy’s hair.

“No, even when Ryan and I were together you were my favorite,” he swore with a grin.

“Well, I’m glad, you know if I were into guys and had to pick a lad it would be you,”

“Oh really?” Ray smirked wiggling his eyebrows and leaning closer.

“Don’t make it weird!” Geoff cried pushing him away. “But yeah man, Gavin and Michael are just too much to handle, you’re the calmest fucker I know. We’d have fun,” he winked.

“Oh I bet we would,” Ray laughed rolling his eyes. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell Griffon,”

“I will,” Geoff shrugged. “She always knew deep down I was all for the dudes,” he smiled placing a hand over his heart.

“Well thank god! I don’t have to apologize to her for stealing her man or ‘turning him gay,’”

“She’ll probably thank you for taking me off her hands,”

“Maybe she’ll give me a cash reward,”

“And you can buy a bunch of drugs and alcohol to celebrate with!”

“Yeah, cause I’m so edgy,”

“Yeah, straight edge,” Geoff told him, rolling over to shut the lamp off and burrow into the bed. “Alright, it’s late and we have school tomorrow, I’m declaring it bedtime,”

“Alright dad,”

“I knew you’d be the one to have a daddy kink. It’s always the quiet ones,” Geoff pointed at him.

“Oh totally, it’s cause I don’t actually have a dad,”

“Oh shut up,”

“Goodnight,” Ray chuckled turning over and pulling the blankets up over them.

“Night buddy,”

“Oh and Geoff?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for coming over, I love Gav, but it’s nice to have a fresh energy running around,”

“Oh God are you suddenly into all that aura and chakra bullshit?” Geoff teased.

“Way to ruin the moment,”

“That’s all I’m good for,”

“You suck,”

“Goodnight,”

“Yeah yeah,”

~~~

Ryan had hoped that he’d have more time to prepare himself before Ray came over, but between the end of the school day and six he was cleaning his room vigorously and making sure everything was in good condition for Ray to come over.

He didn’t really know why he was putting such effort into everything, knowing that they were planning on working in the dining room anyway but he couldn’t stop cleaning, couldn’t stop pacing his room and checking it over for small things he might’ve missed.

After making his bed for the third time to make sure all the corners were evenly tucked in and the sheets were flat there was a knock on the door. He tried to get downstairs and answer it before one of his parents did but he was only halfway down the stairs when his mom walked by and pulled it open almost squealing when she saw who it was. Ryan hadn’t even told her that they broke up, but she figured it out after only two days with no Ray showing up to spend the night.

“Ray honey! Come in, come in, how are you?” she asked pulling him into the house and into a hug.

“I’m great, how are you?” he said politely.

“I’m wonderful dear, me and the mister are going out for dinner, hopefully you’ll still be here when we get back?” she asked hopefully looking between him and Ryan.

“I think my mom wants me home at some point tonight but maybe,” he smiled giving her a final hug as she walked back into the living room to make sure Ryan’s dad was ready to go.

“Sorry,” Ryan greeted quietly, nodding in the direction of the living room.

“Not a problem she’s sweet,”

“She really likes you,” Ryan smiled as they walked into the dining room, putting their books and papers down.

“Yeah, well, who doesn’t?” Ray said pretending to flip his hair around before realizing how his comment might’ve sounded and freezing up. He quickly took a seat and opened his book to a random page. “So Civil War,” he offered flipping through the book as he tried frantically to find it.

“Page three sixty five,” Ryan told him putting his hand out to stop him, almost placing it on top of Ray’s, but he stopped, hovering just above it.

“Thanks,” he said once he reached it. “So, what? We just need to find the people that had the biggest influences in the war and write about them?”

“We also need to know all the important dates,” the blond pointed out.

“Oh great,” Ray sighed, “I suck with that stuff,”

“You’ll be fine, you always are,” Ryan comforted.

“Only after I study with you,” Ray mumbled, beginning to read the first page, not noticing the small smile that Ryan threw his way.

“Well you’re studying with me now,” he said bumping their shoulders together.

“Yeah,” Ray said scooting just a tad farther away from the other boy, getting close to the edge of his seat. Ryan sighed, but pulled away and started reading himself.

This was their usual way of studying, they’d both read separately, waiting at the end of each page for the other to catch up before turning to the next one. They’d ask questions between each turn too, making sure that they both understood what the main sections were about, sometimes stopping to give each other mini quizzes.

The first hour or so was rough as they were trying to get back in the swing of things, not having been alone for more than a couple minutes since the break up. They didn’t ask questions, or wait or quiz for the whole first chapter of the Civil War section, but when Ryan finished the chapter first he waited patiently, putting his hand on the page before Ray could turn it and go on without him again.

“So, do you understand everything that you read?” he asked calmly, leaning back and fixing him with a stern look.

Ray hesitated before he smiled. “Yeah, totally,” Ryan knew he was lying.

“Oh? Who was the president at the time?” Ryan challenged, watching the way Ray’s eyes widened and he looked down at the book helplessly.

“Ge-“

“No,” Ryan cut him off. “It was Abe Lincoln. Did you actually read the chapter?”

“I skimmed,” Ray offered.

“We’re here to study, so we don’t fail, so I can’t be the only one that passes,”

“What should we do then?” Ray huffed.

“We go back and reread,”

“You’re kidding,” Ray’s jaw dropped.

“Nope,”

“Fine,” he groaned turning back to the first page of the chapter, glaring at the pictures and words on it.

“Come on, just, read it carefully and ask questions when you need to, like old times,” Ryan smiled, elbowing him lightly again.

“Yeah, old times,” Ray said weakly. Ryan cringed at the crestfallen look on the others face and turned back to his book, carefully rereading the first page and waiting for Ray to catch up.

“So, who was president?” Ryan asked once Ray finished and turned to him with a blank look.

“Abe, good ole honest Abe,”

“Yes, and what was the first state to succeed?”

“Mississippi?” Ray answered unsurely, scanning over the page again to find the answer. “Nope! South Carolina, I got it, I got it,” he said urgently.

“Yes, Mississippi was?” the blond prompted.

“Second?” Ray asked.

“Yes! Be more confident you’ve got this,”

“Thanks,” Ray smiled, looking down at the next page.

They worked like this for the rest of the first chapter and all of the second, Ryan’s parents still weren’t home and it was nearing nine at night. They were only starting the third chapter when Ray’s mind began to wander.

Here they were. After three weeks of barely speaking, after three weeks of both of them wallowing in their own heartbreak.

At first Ray thought it would be impossible to be friends again, thought that talking to Ryan without bursting into tears or making a scene was unlikely. He did everything he could to avoid him, rushing out of classes, making sure he stayed close to Gavin during movie nights or in the mornings at their lockers. Now though, they were sitting in Ryan’s dining room hunched over their textbooks sitting close, but not too close, to each other.

While he thought being friends was a possibility now, he was still left with many unanswered questions. The main question he had however was,

“Why?” he didn’t mean to say it out loud, freezing as soon as it was out and looking wide eyes up at Ryan who’s head snapped up to look at him.

“Why what?” he asked, head tilted, looking back down at the book as if it would give him the answer. Ray had two options; he could take a deep breath and carry on asking him why he broke up with him, or he could chicken out and come up with a question about the Civil War on the spot. The latter seemed like much more work.

“Why did you break up with me?” he asked calmly, meeting his eyes steadily.

“Ray-“

“No,” he cut him off quickly. “Don’t hide; I have a right to know,”

“I know you do, but I… I don’t-“

“You can’t just tell me it wasn’t working out and then never mention it again. Why wasn’t it working out? Was it me? Was it you? Something else? You’ve gotta tell me,” he rambled.

“Ray come on, we were doing fine, and do you really wanna bring this up now and risk ruining any chance we have at a friendship?”

“Yes. Friendships, like relationships, are built on honesty and trust and all that bullshit, so be honest and tell me what happened,” he snapped.

“Ray-“

“Ryan,”

“It- this is hard-“

“So stop stalling and spit it out!” Ray demanded slamming his hands on the table.

“It meant nothing! Okay! Everything, it all meant nothing to me,” Ryan yelled back, standing, barely wincing at the scrape his chair let out against the tiled floor.

“Wow okay,” Ray spit venomously. He flipped his book shut hard, pushing his chair back and slipping out.

“What are you doing?” Ryan sighed taking in the sight before him.

“I’m going home,” Ray said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. He finished packing his books away and threw his bag over his shoulder shuffling to the door quickly to put his shoes on.

“I’ll drive you,” the blond said, moving toward him.

“No,”

“Ray, I’m not letting you walk home angry, alone, or in the dark,”

“And I’m not letting you drive me home,” Ray shrugged pulling the door open and slipping out, letting it slam shut behind him without another word.

“Fucking hell,” Ryan sighed, rushing to the door to put his shoes on and find his keys.

Unfortunately he left them upstairs so he had to make a mad dash to get them and by the time he was outside he was able to catch sight of Ray’s lime green hoodie turning the corner at the end of the road. He rushed to get in his car and start it, looking both ways before peeling out of the drive way and speeding down the street after his ex-boyfriend.

It didn’t even take him two minutes before he was pulling up next to the lad and rolling his window down to call out to him. “Ray! Get in the car,”

“Mmmmno,” Ray called. Ryan didn’t have to look at him to know he was crying.

“Ray!” Ryan said warningly coming to a screeching halt, throwing the car in park and opening his door. “I’m not letting you walk home like this. Come on I know you’re upset, but we can talk about this,”

“I don’t wanna talk!” Ray yelled coming to a stop and turning to face him. He wiped at his face messily, trying to make himself look somewhat normal has Ryan walked around to get on the sidewalk with him, leaving plenty of space between the two.

“You were all for talking ten minutes ago! But now that you’ve heard something you don’t wanna hear you chicken out,”

“I thought I could handle the truth but I couldn’t okay!”

“So, we don’t even half to talk, but just let me drive you home, it’ll make me feel better knowing you’re safe,”

“Fresh air is nice,” Ray said casually.

“Ray, I’m not gonna say it again, you can get in the car willingly or I can drag you,” Ryan said as if it was the most normal sentence.

“Why? I don’t live very far,” he argued.

“I care about you,”

“You just told me I meant nothing to you, and now you care? Shut up,” Ray rolled his eyes turning and walking away again, this time moving faster.

“Stop!” Ryan commanded, rushing so he was only a few steps behind.

“Ryan come on. Stop this bullshit. Go home and go to bed and we can talk some other time,”

“I don’t wanna go another three weeks without talking to you!” the blond said quietly.

Ray stopped then, taking a deep breath before turning around abruptly and getting in Ryan’s face. “You don’t get to play with me like that. You don’t get to fuck with my head and my emotions,”

“I know, I don’t mean to I- I just…”

“If you didn’t love me you would’ve never kissed me that first time, that’s not the kind of guy you are,” Ray told him, poking him sternly in the chest.

“I know, I just-“

Finally Ray had had enough, he opened his mouth to start saying something, anything, laying out the facts, screaming, he wasn’t really sure, but before he could come up with an appropriate answer he thought of something better. _It meant nothing._ “Bullshit,” he murmured, wrapping a hand around the blond’s head and pulling him into a fierce, fast kiss.

They kissed hungrily in the middle of the sidewalk, Ray’s arms coming up to wrap around Ryan’s neck, grinning against his mouth when his own hands secured themselves tightly on Ray’s hips. Ryan didn’t push him away like Ray was afraid he might’ve, instead, he pulled him closer crushing their bodies together, kissing him just as hard. They kissed long and hard, both of them feeling like they were on fire from the passion the other was giving off, and just as Ryan was about to pick him up, Ray could tell from the way his hands moved down getting a better grip to lift him like he had so many times before, to bring him back to the car Ray pushed him off.

“That wasn’t nothing,” he whispered against the other’s lips, a sad smile playing on his own mouth.

This time Ryan let him walk away.

~~~

An hour later and Ryan was still freaking out in his room. His parents had come home only a half hour ago and instantly they knew not to say a word.

He tried calling Jack five times, but they went straight to voicemail leaving Ryan alone and confused and pissed. Finally though after figuring out that it probably wasn’t best for him to be alone at the time he finally relented and called Geoff.

“Dude, do you know what time it is?” Geoff asked groggily.

Ryan almost apologized, almost told him to go back to bed and rest up for school the next day, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, instead he clutched the phone closer to his face and whispered, “I need you,”

“I’ll be there in ten,” _click._

When Geoff showed up thirteen minutes later he silently tiptoed into Ryan’s room, frowning at the still figure buried in blankets on the bed.

“What happened?” he asked once the door was shut.

“I told him he meant nothing,” Ryan croaked out, curling further in on himself as he imagined the disappointed look on the other’s face. “Look, I know you have to be the guardian for the lads, we all do, but right now I need big brother Geoff to tell me everything is gonna be okay cause I don’t know how much longer I can be strong,”

Geoff could feel his heart break as soon as the words were out of the other gent’s mouth. At lightning speed Geoff was kicking his shoes off and stumbling into the bed with the other, wrapping him in a warm embrace.

“I can do that,” he whispered, and seconds later Ryan was crying in his arms, a sight Geoff never thought he’d see. “What happened after that?”

“He left, I followed, he kissed me and then he walked away,”

“I feel like I’m missing a lot, but I’ll work with what I have,” Geoff said, pausing after to try and think of something, anything, comforting to say. “Why did you tell him it meant nothing?” he asked instead.

“He asked why we broke up and I just- I didn’t want to admit that I’m scared,”

“Because of how much you love him? Or was there something else I’m missing?”

“I was insecure, scared, afraid that he’d find someone better and leave me in the end,”

“So your logic was, leave before you’re left?” Geoff asked raising a brow.

“Stupid, I know,” Ryan sighed, raising his arms to wipe at his eyes.

“Look, Ryan I don’t really know what to tell you here. Everyone gets insecure and scared in their relationship, that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Of course normally people talk it out before just breaking up, but to each his own,”

“God, I’m such an idiot,”

“Look, what do you really want from Ray now?”

“What do you mean?” the blond sniffled.

“Do you just want to be friends, or do you want him back?”

“I want him back so badly Geoff, I fucked up,”

“You did, but Ray is forgiving,” Geoff smiled. “I think if you apologize he’d take you back,”

“I’ve been a dick to him for weeks, I really don’t think there’s any hope left,”

“Look, I shouldn’t tell you this, but he’s miserable without you too, he misses the fuck outta you,”

“I don’t know…” Ryan trailed off looking up at the stars on the ceiling, glowing bright in the darkness of the room.

“You still have those?” Geoff asked, moving to lay on his back to look at the same stars.

“Of course I do. All I’ve done for the last three weeks is lay here and stare at them and pretend that Ray is still next to me and that we’re okay,”

“There’s nothing wrong with that, just don’t start calling me Ray cause I will leave,” Geoff teased then, smiling at the other when he shoved at him.

“Shut up,” Ryan rolled his eyes.

“But really, I say, give Ray a few days after tonight to really gather his thoughts; I’ll talk to him as well. Then, in a couple of days you can talk to him and make things right okay?”

“Days? I think I need more time than that,” the blond said honestly.

“Dude, you’ve already had three weeks, if you don’t move quick someone else is gonna steal your man,” Geoff joked, however he regretted it as soon as he saw how frantic Ryan looked as he bolted up in bed.

“Is there someone else I don’t know about? Is- has someone said something to you?”

“No, dude, I was joking, even if there was Ray only has eyes for you. I don’t know why after all the shit you put him through, but he loves you, so fix this cause if I have to sit up with one of you crying again so help me god I will unleash a whole new hell upon you,”

“Sounds scary,” Ryan deadpanned.

“Oh believe me, you think Michael is bad when he rages, you haven’t seen me,”

“I’m shaking,”

“You will be,” Geoff threatened. They laid silently for a while, watching the glowing stars on the roof, watching them disappear as cars passed outside, their headlights sweeping across the room when they turned past his window.

“Thank you,” Ryan said finally, reaching out to grab Geoff’s hand.

“No homo,” Geoff squeezed his hand back. “And no problem man,”

“Goodnight Geoff,

“Goodnight Rye,”

When Ryan turned over to fall asleep Geoff almost cried himself, not of anger or sadness, but at the sheer closeness he felt toward the other boy after finally having seen him break down. Ray, Gavin and Jack were the emotional ones of the group, but even Geoff and Michael had their moments of weakness. It was Ryan that they always worried about, always swore had no soul, but after tonight Geoff knew that he was human too and that now they definitely shared something deeper. Geoff smiled and turned over, hoping that Ryan would take his words to heart and fix things soon.

~~~

Another week flew by. Ray avoiding Ryan, Gavin avoiding Michael, Geoff and Jack just trying to play peace keepers and honestly everyone was at a tipping point. Geoff and Jack even had a silent bet going on who would lose their shit first, Ryan or Michael, but in the end it was Jack that won since he knew Michael was a bomb ready to go off. Of course, no one was there when he did go off, not at first anyway.

The warning bell for third block had just sounded not that Michael had to worry since he was always early to third block, not having a significant other to walk anywhere, or any friends that wanted to hang out for ten minutes between lunch and third.

The last few days however this seemed to annoy him more than ever. It had been almost three months since Gavin had come over, three months since they had had their boi’s nights, or late talks, but he seemed to be the only one affected by this. Gavin just went on with his life as if he didn’t just spontaneously drop his best friend for no reason without any warning. Michael tried not to be mad at him; he really did, but finally he had had enough and realized that Gavin was the only person to blame.

When third block had finally started Michael had came to the conclusion that if Gavin didn’t come over that day after school then that was it, they were officially over. He sat fuming through his entire class, barely listening to what their teacher was saying to them, not caring about their upcoming tests or essays.

As soon as the bell rang and they were freed he was rushing out of the room and down the hall, up the stairs and down another hall to his English class where he waited patiently for Ray and Gavin to trickle in, hopefully before class started so they could talk. He couldn’t get that lucky it seemed since they walked in right as the final bell rang, both of them wrapped around each other with their heads down as they went to their seats just behind Michael.

He paid attention and took notes for the next hour and a half, keeping himself aware of Gavin behind him, whispering to Ray now and then. He didn’t really mean to eavesdrop, much, but he managed to catch a few bits here and there.

“Ignore them,” Ray said sharply. Michael could hear the second that Gavin’s pencil stilled on the paper, heard him whisper, “I’m trying,” before continuing to take notes.

“Good, they’re just trying to get a reaction,”

“I know, I know,” the Brit assured, Michael didn’t have to look to know he was shaking his head.

“And I swear to god if you don’t clear that dresser drawer out I will punch you so hard your firstborn feels it,”

“Alright,” Gavin snapped, apologizing when their teacher glared.

Michael raised a brow and tried to focus back on his notes since he had missed the last paragraph of the reading, but it was no use. Who were they talking about? Why was Ray so worked up and what was in Gavin’s drawer? He even went to the bathroom at one point, really just so he could scan the room and see if he could figure out who ‘them’ was that Gavin was supposed to be ignoring. The only other people in the back of the room were a few nobodies that they didn’t bother talking to, kept to themselves mainly so Michael didn’t really find them to be suspects.

When he sat back down he managed to catch the end of a conversation between them about Gavin staying at Ray’s that night. Michael frowned at that, but decided that he could still probably rope Gavin into coming over, especially when he heard him tell Ray that he had no plans.

When the bell rang Gavin was out the door and gone before the teacher could wish them a good day. He managed to keep his pace steady though and was at his locker and out the school, still able to catch Gavin before he got on his bus to go home.

“Gavin wait up!” he called out, watching the Brit freeze at the voice calling him before turning around steadily to look cautiously up at him.

“Michael, what’s up?” he asked casually.

“Do you wanna come over, hang out?” Michael asked hopefully, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“I would, but I have a lot of English homework I need to catch up on,”

“Oh?” Michael asked with a raised brow, waiting for Gavin to realize his mistake.

“Yeah, she really piled it on today, like two essays and a quiz coming up,” he continued with his lie completely oblivious.

“Funny, cause I don’t remember her assigning any homework for tonight, let alone two essays, and our quiz isn’t until next week,” he listed off, watching realization hit Gavin like a baseball to the face.

“Oh… right,” Gavin said awkwardly, reaching up to rub the back of his neck and laugh.

“You know, I don’t know what I did to you to make you suddenly hate me or whatever the fuck is going on, but to lie to me is just an insult. Plus I’m a little offended that you don’t know I sit right in front of you in class Gavin!” he yelled ignoring some of the strange looks students were throwing at them as they walked by. Most of the school had cleared out by now, most of the buses having left already, Gavin’s included. Michael almost felt bad.

“Michael- its not-“

“Oh save it,” the redhead sneered, turning on his heel and marching away. He was furious. If they were alone he might’ve even punched him, but they were still on school property and fighting there was a big no-no.

“Michael! Don’t walk away, let me explain,”

“Fuck off Gavin!” he yelled back, not even turning around to look at him when he said it. Maybe he’d give him a chance to apologize in a day or two, but for now he was done with Gavin’s shit. Gavin was taken aback by the straightforwardness of it, normally Michael only said that to him when they were playing video games and Gavin was cheating, he had never said it while walking away after an argument. Gavin wasn’t really sure where to go from there, but he figured walking home was probably a good start.

Of course he didn’t even make it off the schoolyard before he was flanked by two of the people he hated the most.

“Where’s your boyfriend at Free?” Jeremy asked casually as he got in Gavin’s path. The Brit said nothing, just tried to shove past him and continue home, but that seemed to piss them off.

“Don’t you have any manners?” Matt questioned, “Normally when someone asks you a question you answer,” he said, shoving Gavin back when he tried to walk by again.

“Oh sod off!” he snapped, moving to walk around again, this time though the shove was more forceful and he found himself on his ass in the schoolyard.

“Let’s try again shall we?” Matt asked, leaning down so he was in Gavin’s face. Gavin probably shouldn’t have done it, knew the second he did it he’d regret it, but still, he spit straight in the boy’s face and moved to stand quickly when Matt flinched back and Jeremy stepped forward. “What the fuck!” he sneered rubbing at his face with the bottom of his shirt while he glared down at Gavin.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Jeremy said warningly, stepping closer.

“No way man, I get first hit,” Matt said pushing the other back and swinging before Gavin could move.

Pain. That’s all he felt. Pain erupting across the right side of his face. He was impressed that he didn’t fall right away, but when he was struck again on the same side he crumpled to the ground again. His vision was slightly blurred when he opened his eyes and looked down at the blood he had just spit out. He could barely take a breath before he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, cringing as he curled up to try and protect himself. He didn’t know how long he waited on the ground, how many times he had been hit before he heard a familiar voice and footsteps pounding against pavement.

“Get the fuck off him!” Geoff was yelling as he entered the fray, tackling one of them, Gavin couldn’t tell who since he had yet to lift his head from where it was safely cocooned in his arms. Soon though the other body was tackled too and he took the chance to look up and see both Geoff and Jack, all swinging fists and kicking legs.

“Fuck you Ramsey!” Matt yelled, shoving him roughly into the grass and making to stand, but Geoff was quicker, wrapping his arms around the boy’s legs and tugging him back down.

Gavin tried to stand up so he could help, or stop them, but the pain in his sides kept him down. In the end though he didn’t need to since three of the schools security guards were rushing out the front doors and sprinting towards them, prying the four fighting boys apart and dragging them into the school building talking about how much trouble they were going to get in. Gavin felt a soft hand on his shoulder and jumped, looking up to see the school nurse smiling sadly down at him.

“Oh dear, they’ve done quite a number on you,” she muttered, wrapping an arm around him to help him stand, putting pressure on his stomach when he winced and sucked in a breath. “I know, let’s get you inside so I can take a look,”

Gavin swore he wouldn’t cry, but the second they started walking he couldn’t help the wave of tears that hit him.

~~~

“I’ve already spoken with Matt and Jeremy and given them their sentence, so now it’s your turn,” their principle, Mrs. Collins, said gesturing to Geoff to start.

“Well,” he said immediately. “Jack had to stay after to talk to a teacher, I was his ride, so we were there a little later. As soon as we walked out of the school we saw Gavin on the floor getting his shit kicked in so we ran in and took care of business,”

“Language!” his mom scolded, scowling when he rolled his eyes back at her.

“Jack?”

“He basically covered it all. Gavin was getting wailed on and we stepped in, that’s really all there is to it, we don’t know what started it all,”

“I’ll call the nurse and see if Gavin is ready to join us,” Mrs. Collins said after, picking up her phone and punching in the number. They spoke briefly before she was smiling and hanging up. “He’ll be here in a moment,”

Geoff and Jack mentally prepared themselves, they caught a small glimpse of Gavin as they were being dragged away and it wasn’t pretty. They weren’t really sure his mom was going to be handling it to well.

Of course they were right.

“Jesus Gavin!” his father exclaimed when he walked in. Already his face was swollen and he was walking slowly, cautious of every step, wincing on occasion. His lip was split and red on one side and his right eye could hardly open.

“At least I don’t need stitches?” he offered, trying to smile but wincing when it pulled at his no doubt sore lip.

“Sit down,” his dad ordered clearly not amused with his sons attempt at lifting the mood.

“Gavin, I’m sorry that this happened and I’ve already gotten your friends sides of the story, but I’m gonna need to ask for yours,”

“I wish I had an interesting one for you,” he told her honestly. “I was walking and they cornered me, I didn’t answer their questions and they got upset,” he shrugged, flinching when the movement jostled his bruised ribs.

“Questions?” the woman asked leaning forward, resting her elbows on her desk.

“They were asking where my boyfriend was,” he rolled his eyes, “they just love the fact that I’m gay,” he didn’t have to turn around to know his parents were furious.

They talked for another half hour, Mrs. Collins had each of them repeat their story two more times to see if she could find any discrepancies, but when she found none she decided she was satisfied and decided to dish out their punishment.  

“Three days!?” Gavin’s mom yelled, pushing off the wall in the back of the office. “My son was attacked on school ground and he gets suspended for three days!”

“Violence is a very serious issue at this school and will not be tolerated. Everyone involved is being punished ma’am,”

“That is complete bulls-“ Geoff started to say, but cut himself off when he saw the glare his mother sent him.

“Gavin doesn’t deserve that though! He didn’t even swing,” Geoff argued moving to stand, but his dads hand landing heavily on his shoulder kept him seated.

“Geoff,” Gavin warned.

“I’m sorry, school policy states that everyone involved must face the consequences,” the woman repeated, but she didn’t really seem all that sorry, which was why Geoff was grateful when his dad stepped forward.

“Three days, fine. Are we done here?” he had a hard edge to his tone that caused everyone to stop for a second.

“Ye- yes,” she stuttered gesturing toward the door.

They were out of the room before she could say another word, stopping in front of the main entrance. The boys waited patiently for instructions from their parents before they moved, not really knowing how much trouble they’d all be in.

“Boys, can you give us a minute?” Mr. Ramsey asked waving them off towards the parking lot. Geoff nodded and grabbed Gavin’s arm tugging him along, Jack following closely behind with his head down.

“I’m grounded until I die,” Jack sighed rubbing his hands on his face.

“Dude, me too,”

“You guys didn’t have to do that,” Gavin told them once they were far enough away.

“Uh, yes we fucking did,” Geoff argued stepping closer. “You think we were just gonna let them beat the shit outta you, look what they did to your face for Christ sake,” he ranted gesturing wildly at the Brit.

“Look, I’m just saying is it probably wasn’t worth it for the amount of trouble you’re going to get in now,”

“It was so worth it,” Jack smiled. “I never thought I’d be the one fighting them, always thought Ray and I were just the cheerleaders,”

“And? How did it feel?” Geoff asked with a smirk.

“Fucking awesome dude,”

“See? No regrets from either of us,” Geoff crossed his arms.

“Boys!” Mr. Ramsey suddenly yelled. “Could you come back over here?”

“We’re fucked,” Jack decided then, turning to Geoff and Gavin. “I’ll miss you,”

“Let me do all the talking,” Geoff ordered, leading the way back.

“It was nice knowing you,” Gavin chuckled.

Soon all the boys were standing in front of their parents again, heads bowed in shame as they waited for their groundings.

“Geoff, why don’t you and the boys head over to Gavin’s for the night,” his dad told him causing his head to snap up in shock.

“Wait? I’m not grounded for the rest of my life?”

“Me either?” Jack asked.

“Nope, go have fun, we can talk later,”

“Thanks?” Geoff said as more of a question before pulling his eyes out of his pocket and slowly backing away as if they were all about to start laughing in their faces.

They didn’t wipe the suspicion from their faces until they were safely in Geoff’s car and pulling out of the lot. “That was bloody odd,” Gavin commented wincing when Geoff stopped short as a squirrel ran in front of his car.

“Shit, sorry Gav,”

“Are you okay?” Jack asked reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m fine, thank you guys by the way,”

“Where the fuck was Michael, or Ray?” Geoff asked then.

“Michael and I aren’t really… talking,” Gavin answered sheepishly.

“Oh God,” Geoff sighed slamming his head against his steering wheel.

“I’ll call Ray and Ryan first then,” Jack joked pulling his phone out of his pocket to send the texts.

“Impromptu boy’s night at Gavin’s!” Geoff cheered then, reaching out to turn the volume on the radio all the way up blasting today’s pop.

Soon they were pulling into Gavin’s driveway and stepping out of the car. Geoff was quick to get to Gavin’s side and help him out, stumbling along with him while trying to keep him balanced.

“Michael is gonna feel so guilty,” Gavin whined once they were in his room, sitting gingerly on his bed.

“Michael should,” Geoff claimed, lying down next to him.

“Well, Ray and Ryan should be here soon and then we’ll decide who should tell Michael,” Jack explained sitting in the computer chair across from them.

Only ten minutes later and Ryan was showing up, bursting into the room in a fury. His eyes found Jack’s first, doing a quick scan of him for any injuries and finding none, he smiled before moving on to Geoff who thankfully made it out with only a slightly red cheek. When his eyes found Gavin though they hardened, taking in his swollen face and stiff posture.

“What the fuck did they do?” he seethed.

“Some punching, some kicking,” Gavin shrugged.

“Oh? Is that all?” Ryan asked sarcastically.

“Ryan, it’s not a big deal,” the Brit told him, moving to stand but being held down by Geoff grabbing the back of his shirt.

“It is absolutely a big deal,” Jack cut in.

“Not anymore!” Gavin argued, “You guys took care of it,”

“Yeah? And what happens when our suspension is over and they’re pissed?”

“They get three days off from school, why would they be pissed?”

“Cause we beat the shit out of them?” Geoff answered as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

“Well yeah, but they started it,” Gavin pointed out.

“So they’ll be pissed that we won,”

“They’ve been messing with us since the beginning of the year, this was bound to happen,” he explained.

“’Us?’ Who’s us?” Geoff asked.

“Ray and I, they’re in our math class,”

“So you think it’s over?” Jack asked hopefully.

“No, I never really gave them any trouble, its Ray we worry about now. They don’t really like that he fights back,” he told them and as if on cue Ray chose that moment to walk in, stopping when he found all eyes focused immediately on him.

“Hi?” he offered.

“So you think they’ll go after Ray next?” Ryan asked calmly.

“I don’t know, maybe? They might not just because I was the easier target, but who really knows?”

“Wait what?” Ray asked, moving to sit next to Gavin and lightly prod at his face.

“They’ve been picking on you guys all year?” Geoff stood up. “Why didn’t you guys say anything?”

“It wasn’t bad,” Ray answered. “It was just little notes on paper and shit. It was never physical until now,”

“Alright, well in the future how about you guys fucking tell us when you have a problem before it gets to this point,” Geoff snapped gesturing at Gavin’s face.

“Calm down,” Ray rolled his eyes. “You guys beat the shit outta people all the time this was gonna happen,” he shrugged.

“Wow,” Geoff said in disbelief. “Nice to see that you care about your best friend getting his shit kicked in,”

“I care, I care a lot,” Ray stood up now, getting face to face with the other boy. “I’m pissed it was him and not me but there’s no use in us sitting around and trying to read Matt and Jeremy’s minds, trying to figure out their next move. We should just stick together and take shit as it comes,”

“He’s right,” Ryan piped up, everyone turned to him, except Ray who sat down and busied himself with Gavin’s face again. “Why waste our time, let’s just be glad nothing was broken and have a good time,”

“Yeah,” Jack nodded. “Let’s just- let’s just take a breather and watch a movie,” he suggested standing to turn the Xbox on. “Should someone call Michael?” he asked after.

“He didn’t already know?” Ray asked nervously.

“No? Why?”

“Well, I texted him on my way over because I thought he already knew…” he trailed off awkwardly.

“Oh Jesus,” Geoff chuckled. “How did he seem?”

“Pissed as fuck,” Ray said apologetically.

“Gavin, you are screwed,” Geoff smiled. Gavin flopped backwards, wincing and whining before shutting his eyes.

“I don’t even care anymore,” he sighed, bringing his knees up to his chest.

“Aww poor baby,” Jack cooed reaching out to pinch his cheeks.

“Sod off,” he grumbled.

They weren’t even a half hour into the first Lord of the Rings movie when Gavin’s bed room door slammed open and Michael stood seething in the doorway. There was a long moment of silence where they all just stared at each other, watching Michael take in the scene before him. As far as he knew Gavin was beaten up after school, Geoff and Jack stepped in and they all got suspended, so for him to walk into Gavin’s bedroom expecting everyone to be pissed and fussing over the Brit, but to actually find them all sitting around watching movies completely content, well they couldn’t really tell how he was feeling.

“Hey man,” Ray nodded at him, reaching out to grab his drink.

“What the fuck?” he asked stepping in and shutting the door. Finally his eyes landed on Gavin, still curled around himself with only the top half of his face visible so he could watch the movie. Michael not only noticed the bruised cheek and eye, he also noticed that Gavin very pointedly wasn’t looking at him.

“Take a seat, relax, watch the movie,” Geoff said casually, holding a can of coke out for him.

Ray swore Michael’s eye started twitching as his shoulders tensed up. “Can I- could I have a minute alone with Gavin?” he asked calmly. Jack and Ray stood up instantly heading for the door, ignoring the pleading look Gavin gave them as they left.

“Come on guys, let’s give them a sec,” Jack said turning to Geoff and Ryan who made no move to get up.

“Before he gets angry,” Ray sang looking right at Geoff.

“Fine,” Ryan sighed, getting off the bed and joining the others in the hallway.

“Be nice,” Geoff mumbled as he passed the redhead, shutting the door behind him. “Now what?” Geoff asked only to be pushed out of the way by Ray who pressed his ear against the door.

“What happened?” Michael asked, stepping towards the bed.

“Matt and Jeremy,”

“Yeah, I got that, but why?”

“I don’t bloody know, they just love kicking my shit in,” Gavin shrugged, still not looking at him.

“Gavin,” Michael sighed. “I’m sorry about earlier,”

Finally Gavin looked at him a small smile on his face, but it quickly disappeared when the action tugged on his bloody cut lip. “It’s okay boi,”

“It’s not okay, I was a dick and then I just abandoned you. If I had been there this wouldn’t have happened,”

“So it would’ve happened tomorrow or the day after or next week,” Gavin shrugged. “They’ve been dying to get me for quite some time now,”

“When they get back from their suspension I swear to god I’m gonna-“

“Do nothing,” Gavin cut him off. “You are not getting yourself in any more trouble cause of me. You guys are always beating people up for me. Let me handle this one,”

“You can’t exactly handle both of them at once as we’ve learned today,” Michael said sadly, reaching out to touch Gavin’s cheek, apologizing when he flinched back.

“I’ll figure it out,”

“How long has this been going on anyway?” Michael asked, gaze hard.

Gavin heaved a long sigh before he reached out to open the drawer next to his dresser. Like with Ryan, he pulled a handful out and set them in Michael’s lap.

“What?” Michael asked confused as he started unwrapping the bits of paper. His face went from confused to upset to pissed in seconds, without saying a word he reached into the drawer and pulled the rest out so they were all in his lap before he crumpled them in a big ball and threw them in the trashcan by Gavin’s door. When he came back to join the Brit on the bed he was sitting closer, resting his hand on Gavin’s back. “Why do you have those?”

So Gavin told him everything, told him about his math class and all the notes, about all the times Ray fought back in class. He told him about the hallway incident that Ryan noticed a few weeks before and he told him how they made him feel, how he had spent countless nights reading them and sometimes crying because of them.

“Is this why you’ve been avoiding me?” Michael asked once Gavin was finished.

“Kinda, not really,” Gavin shrugged.

“Then why?”

“Well at first it was, but then after Ray and Ryan broke up it was because I didn’t want us to end up like them?” he said as more of a question.

“That- that doesn’t even make sense,”

“I know, when I say it out loud it sounds really stupid,”

“We aren’t even dating?” Michael said as an afterthought.

“No, I know, I meant, they were really close and then they just… stopped talking and Ray was so hurt, so that just added to all my… depression?” Gavin said as if the word was foreign to him.

“So… you start getting bullied at school hard core, you think that your best friend is gonna end up ditching you. You then start to pull away in an attempt to what? Save yourself? Thus making it worse,” Michael listed, pausing to gather his thoughts, “and then two of our best friends break up and it just adds on to your insecurity?”

“Well when you say it like that it sounds bonkers,”

“Cause it is bonkers!” Michael yelled standing up to pace the room.

“I’m sorry!”

“That literally makes no sense at all, you are just insanely stupid Gav,” he ranted.

“I know,”

“I’d never ditch you, you’re my boi,” Michael told him, sitting back down and wrapping his arm around him.

“I’m sorry,” Gavin whispered again, starting to curl up again but Michael wouldn’t let him, wrapping him up in his arms and pulling him in for a long overdue hug. “I missed you,” Gavin mumbled against his neck.

“I missed you too Gav,” he said squeezing him tighter, only letting go when Gavin winced in his arms. “Sorry,” he pulled back, looking down to where his hands were resting on the sides of Gavin’s waist. “How bad is it?” he asked then.

“I don’t really know, I’m too scared to look,” Gavin chuckled.

“Well, I’m sure it’s fine,” Michael said reassuringly.

“Yeah, me too,” Gavin laughed.

“So uh…” Michael trailed off. “Should we go get the others?”

“Oh yeah, I forgot they were here,” Gavin laughed. Slowly they crawled off the bed and walked out of the room. When they walked down the stairs they were met with the sight of the other four boys sitting around the dining room table drinking hot chocolate and playing monopoly.

“What is happening?”

“Your mom made us hot chocolate,” Geoff said as if it were normal.

“I’m kicking ass,” Ray cheered then, pulling the chair out next to him for Gavin to sit down.

Gavin looked at Michael and shrugged, moving to sit down next to his friend and watch as the four battled it out to be the richest.

When Michael met Gavin’s eyes across the table and smiled he was beyond ecstatic when the Brit smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it and I hope to hear from some of you soon!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow oh wow am I sorry. I had a serious case of writers block for quite some time, and then when I was ready to write I had some personal life things going on that prevented that. But I've been in a creative writing class in school that's slowly eased me back in.  
> So again, sorry that this took so long and I hope you enjoy.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“You want to stay home from school and go to the beach with your friends?” Ray’s mom asked for the third time.

“Yes! Ryan and Michael are staying home too. It’s the last day of Geoff, Gavin and Jack’s suspension and we want to spend it all together and celebrate,” he explained. Again.

“And you promise you don’t have any missing work, I don’t want this affecting your grades,”

“Mom,” the boy sighed, “one day will not kill my grades,” he was pleading now. “Can I please just go?”

“When will they be here to get you?”

“Michael can be here in like ten minutes,” he told her, standing from the table and inching towards the staircase.

“When will you be home?”

“I don’t know, not too late,”

“Fine, keep your phone on you at all times, I’ll see you later,” she told him, taking her coffee cup off the table and shuffling out of the room.

He ran upstairs, throwing a pair of shorts on and texting their group chat that he was ready to go. He flopped back on his bed scrolling through Facebook while he waited for the doorbell to ring.

He wasn’t expecting Michael so soon, so when his mom called for him he was in the middle of getting dressed.

When he was finally ready he skipped down the steps, coming to an immediate halt when he saw, not his redheaded friend, but his ex-boyfriend shifting awkwardly under the heat of his mothers glare.

“Hi,” he said cautiously when he spotted Ray.

“Hello,”

“I was closer, so I told Michael I’d get you,” he explained.

“Okay, thanks,” Ray replied hesitantly, turning to kiss his mother goodbye before stepping out of the house. She didn’t shut the door until they had pulled out of the driveway and were heading down the street.

As soon as they were in the car Ray was reaching across and turning the radio all the way up blasting Taylor Swift so loud other cars could hear it with their windows up.

Ray wouldn’t look at the blonde, but he could see him looking over at him, mouth open to speak, every few minutes before he would turn his attention back to the road. Honestly, Ray was thankful that the other didn’t try making conversation, knowing it would be awkward since this was the first time they were alone together since Ray had stupidly kissed him.

_God, I’m such an idiot. I shouldn’t have kissed him, it just made everything worse._

Ray was so busy thinking that he didn’t notice they were at the stoplight next to Gavin’s house now, and Ryan had turned the radio off, looking right at him.

Ray opened his mouth to say something but was cut off when Ryan blurted, “I lied,”

The younger tilted his head towards him, nodding when the light turned green so Ryan knew to drive. “Oh?” He finally said.

“It meant… _You_ mean everything to me.” He paused. “I know myself; I know my strengths and my weaknesses. I’m good at driving and school, I’m okay at video games. I’m bad at cooking and cleaning but damn do I suck so hard at loving you,” he explained, pulling into the driveway and putting the car in park. He pulled the keys from the ignition and turned himself fully towards Ray now, making sure the other listened closely.

“Ryan-“

“No, Ray. I was never there for you when you needed me, you always had to run off to Gavin, and I just… I wasn’t good for you, I’m still not,” he rambled, voice cracking at the end. “You know, I had hoped that breaking up with you and taking some time apart would help me figure everything out, but truthfully, I’m just more unsure,”

“Love me right? That’s what all this is about?”

“I just-“

“No, what the hell man?” Ray started; about to go on when the front door was opening and Geoff was stepping onto the porch, calling for them to ‘get your dumb asses inside!’

Ryan didn’t even give Ray the chance to continue, sliding out of the car as soon as the words were out of Geoff’s mouth so he could run up the steps and slip past him into the house.

Ray sighed and opened his door, trudging slowly behind.

They entered the house to find all the others running around wildly, having the house to themselves they made quick work of packing their bags up for the beach, filling a large cooler with drinks and snacks.

“Alright lads!” Gavin cheered finally, stuffing a towel into his bag. “Let’s get a move on!”

They filed out of the house and into Geoff and Ryan’s cars, making sure they had everything before pulling out on the road and heading out.

Ray and Ryan didn’t speak for the entire car ride, just let Michael and Gavin fill the silence arguing in the back about the music on the radio, or the temperature in the car. Ray found it mostly comical, listening to Gavin whine about the cold and the boring music while Michael claimed it was too hot and the music was fine.

On occasion one of them would whine out Ray’s name and beg him to take their side, but he’d just turn the music up and turn the heat on to shut both of them up for a short time before they’d start poking at each other again.

Finally the ocean came into view, soft blues lapping against tan before pulling back out. Geoff pulled into a parking spot and cut the engine waiting for the others to stop next to him before stepping out and grabbing their bags.

“Alright losers,” Geoff smiled. “Let’s enjoy ourselves today,”

“Amen!” Gavin cheered throwing his arms up and dropping his towel and the cooler in the process.

“Idiot,” Michael chuckled grabbing the cooler and heading for the sand.

They climbed over rocks and seaweed carefully making their way onto the soft beach and finding a good open space for their things. Because it was still early in the day, a school day, there weren’t many people there. An elderly couple was walking hand in hand, dipping their toes in every once and a while before pulling away and laughing with each other. A younger couple and their small child, too young to be in school, were building a sandcastle further down but other than that there was no one around.

Ray watched these couples closer while the others set up their towels and spaces and soon they were all sitting in a circle and grabbing snacks and drinks to settle in.

“Now what?” Michael asked looking around at each of them.

“We relax,” Geoff answered, laying back and pulling his sun glasses down over his eyes.

“You should put on some sun block,” Jack told him before he could get too comfortable.

“Sun block is for pussies,” the eldest swatted at him, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at the sky.

“Whatever you say,” Jack rolled his eyes, throwing the bottle at Michael when he reached out for it.

One by one they went around, peeling their shirts, except for Gavin who was still embarrassed about his bruises, and shoes off and rubbing the white cream into their skin, when it got to Ray they found that he wasn’t paying them any mind, staring out in the distance and watching the elderly couple stumble along down the beach. They walked all the way to the little shack that sold drinks almost a mile away before turning right around and heading back.

“Ray?” Gavin called out, all five pairs of eyes on the quiet boy, still wearing his dark t-shirt and jeans over his swimsuit. Still he didn’t take his eyes off the couple, not listening to a thing his friends were doing before finally Ryan was elbowing him lightly in the back.

“Huh?” he asked turning around and blushing under their stares.

“You okay?” Geoff asked him, sunglasses now perched on top of his head to watch his friend.

“Yeah, yeah sorry,” he shook his head and grabbed the bottle, shimmying out of his clothes. Soon they were all, minus Geoff, sun screened up and lying down to enjoy their day in the sand.

They didn’t talk for a long time, most of them still tired from it still being early and having just woken up. They were each in their own world, Geoff had fallen asleep almost instantly, and Jack was busy checking on each of them every few minutes, making sure each of them had enough water, always the mom of the group. Ryan was busy staring at Ray when he thought no one else was looking. He watched him watch others, look longingly at the couples passing by, smiling at some and frowning slightly at others. Michael and Gavin lay silently next to each other, but every few minutes they’d reach out to grab some part of the other and pinch, yank, or tug for some sort of reaction.

“What do you think will happen when we all go back?” Gavin asked finally.

“Nothing,” Michael shrugged.

“What do you mean?” the Brit asked, leaning up on his elbows so he could look down at his best friend.

“I mean, they were suspended too, and you’ll be coming back with Ray, Ryan and I too, no one can touch you guys,” he said nonchalantly.

“Yeah, we’ll be your personal body guards,” Ray laughed.

“Can we wear black suits and get ear pieces?” Geoff asked excitedly.

“Let’s stop by the mall later and see what we can do,” Jack chuckled.

“You guys are ridiculous,” Gavin rolled his eyes.

“Whatever, I gotta piss,” Geoff announced standing up and stretching. “Anyone else?”

“What? You can’t go pee alone?” Jack teased, pushing lightly at his leg.

“Shut up, it’s a long walk and I don’t wanna get bored,”

“I’ll go with you,” Ryan offered moving to stand.

“Me too,” Michael shrugged, pushing himself up and following after the other two.

“Hurry back dear!” Jack called after them receiving the middle finger from both Geoff and Michael.

They sat quietly for awhile, watching their friends get further and further away before they ducked into an ice cream shop across the street to use the bathroom.

“Now that the older brothers are gone,” Ray started, eyes cutting quickly to Jack, “well, almost gone,” he winked. “How are you doing Gav?”

“I’m okay,” Gavin shrugged, but he still winced at the sudden jostling of his shoulder.

“I meant like, emotionally. A lot’s happened lately,”

“I’m fine,” he shrugged again.

“Gavin, you don’t need to pretend. If something is upsetting you we wanna know about it,” Jack told him, reaching out and placing a gentle hand on his shoulder.

“Thanks, but I think I’m gonna be okay,” he told them laying back down.

“They’re coming back,” Ray announced. They went back to silence while their friends came back to them. It was only then that they noticed each of the three was holding ice cream cones in both of their hands.

Michael settled in next to Gavin and handed him one, two perfectly round chocolate scoops on top. Geoff handed Jack his strawberry without a word and started devouring his own. Ray was so busy watching them that he didn’t notice Ryan sitting slowly next to him and holding out a vanilla bean covered cone. Ray’s favorite.

“You remembered…” he whispered reaching for it.

“Of course,”

They didn’t notice everyone else’s eyes on them, just staring at each other while their ice cream started to drip down their hands.

“Welp,” Michael dragged out awkwardly. “I’m lactose intolerant so I’m just gonna…” he trailed off, standing and walking to the trashcan back by the cars. When he came back he cleared his swim suit pockets of his phone and any money and started walking down towards the water. “Anyone else coming?” he called back.

“In a minute,” Geoff answered, continuing to eat his ice cream.

“Gavvy?” Michael pouted.

“When I finish,” he promised holding his ice cream cone up.

“Hurry up then,” he called out, turning and going full sprint into the water.

“Uhh,” Ryan said suddenly, standing and brushing sand off his legs. “I’m uh, gonna join him,” he said rushing off before they could respond. Gavin looked over to where he was sitting and looked up to see Ray shrugging and licking at his fingers. Gavin looked back over at Ryan and back to Ray before it hit him and he started laughing.

“Holy shit that’s good,”

“What Gavin?”

“Nothing nothing,” he waved them off and stood throwing his ice cream away and joining the other two in the waves.

They spent the rest of the day running around in the waves, tackling each other and dunking each other. Gavin almost drowned and had to be saved by Ryan and Geoff. Twice. They went out for lunch at a nice Italian place across the street and when it reached the late afternoon it started to become more inhabited by kids just getting out of school.

Finally they decided to pack their belongings and go home, but not before Geoff was tackling Gavin to the ground and tickling him, soon they were joined by Michael and Ray and lastly Ryan and Jack.

“Someone’s elbowing me!” Geoff cried out.

“Who?” a voice asked and suddenly there was a shift in the pile and they were all beginning to topple over.

“Don’t move! You’re making it worse!” Geoff yelped again, but because they all had to be little shits they all started shimmying around until they were all falling over and landing in a heap on their bags and multiple pairs of eyes were on them. “You guys suck,”

“That was all your fault,”

“Dude you are red!” Michael exclaimed, slapping a hand down on Geoff’s shoulder and laughing when he hissed at him.

“Fuck you!” he cried.

“Aww dude, don’t be a baby,”

“Whatever, let’s get out of here,” he demanded heading towards his car.

“Actually, can I ride with you guys?” Gavin asked, following after Geoff. Ray, Michael and Ryan looked after him confused.

“Uh, sure,”

“Well me too,” Michael announced wrapping a hand around Gavin’s arm.

“Okay, let’s get going,” Geoff said waving them after him.

Ray and Ryan stopped and looked at each other for a long moment before Ray sighed and moved to the passenger side.

“You can go with them too you know,” Ryan mumbled once they were both inside.

“And sit between or next to the wonder twins? I don’t think so,”

Ryan chuckled and started the car, pulling out onto the road and leading the way back home.

Ray took his phone out of his pocket shortly after and sent a group text to the other lads.

_What the fuck_

_Sorry!_

_Sucks to suck bro._

Were the responses he got. He locked his phone and shoved it back in his pocket, frown set firmly in place.

He saw Ryan open his mouth to speak, but they hadn’t been alone since that morning and Ray really wasn’t feeling another awkward conversation. He ended up turning on the local pop station and turning the volume way up, rolled his window down and shut his eyes. He never saw the discouraged look on Ryan’s face, but he did hear when Ryan started humming along to Katy Perry, and then Taylor Swift, and One Direction and One Republic and while he tried his hardest not to swoon he kinda did, just a little, because he knew how much Ryan loathed pop music, he had always complained about it when they were together and now he knew every note and one some songs he was mouthing the words.

He went back to looking out the window until his neighborhood came into view and then he started watching the street, waiting for Ryan to turn into his driveway.

When the car was finally in park Ray was quick to swing his door open and attempt to make a run for it, but a hand around his wrist stopped him. He turned around to see Ryan watching him intently, face slightly red and eyes unsure.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. Ray hated to admit it, but the words meant so much to him. He still couldn’t accept them fully though, it hurt too much. So he took a deep breath looked his ex right in the eye and said.

“It is what it is,” before ducking out of the car and sprinting into his house.

~~~

Once Geoff had finally dropped everyone else off at their places for the night he called Griffon who had texted him earlier telling him she needed him to come over. He wasn’t too worried about it, but he did speed a little on the way over.

The lights were on when he got there and there were no cars in the driveway. He knocked eagerly and waited as he heard her on the stairs. Soon the door was swinging open and his girlfriend was standing there in nothing but shorts and an open flannel, black bra standing out against her pale skin.

“You’re all burned,” she greeted reaching out to poke at his red face.

“I know,” he deadpanned, reaching out to wrap his arms around her and carry her back inside. “What’s going on?”

“My parents are out until tomorrow night,” she whispered when he set her down.

“And you wanted me here because?” he asked head tilting in confusion. She only smirked in response. “Oh,” he chuckled nervously reaching back to rub his neck.

“Yeah, I want you to spend the night,” she told him, pulling him into her living room, still she made no move to button her shirt and Geoff wasn’t sure if that was good or bad for him. “But first, tell me about your day,” she smiled softly, holding both of his hands in hers and placing her legs over his lap.

“We went to the beach and got ice cream, I got this nice sun burn, we swam, Gavin almost died and we ate lunch at that tiny Italian place,” he rambled only focusing on her hands in his and her big blue eyes. “How was school?”

“It was good, a lot of people are talking about the fight, all sorts of stupid rumors,” she rolled her eyes.

“What kind of rumors?”

“That you got your asses kicked, Caiti and I made sure everyone knew the truth,”

“I’m glad you’ve got my back,” he smirked.

“Of course I do,” she smiled. “It was really great what you guys did by the way,”

“You mean you aren’t secretly pissed at me for getting suspended?”

“Not one bit, it was… extremely hot,”

“Oh really?” he asked leaning into her and planting his lips on hers, but she was quick to push him away and wink. Always a tease.

“Have you eaten dinner?” she asked looking at the clock to see it was almost six.

“No, but I’m not worried about it,” he told her, eyes scanning her body hungrily.

“Well, I don’t wanna rush this, I was actually hoping we could start with a movie or something,” she said timidly.

“Whatever you want babe,” he said leaning forward to kiss her nose.

“Want to order pizza and I’ll grab a movie?”

“Lion King?” he asked excitedly.

“Sure thing,”

They spent the twenty minutes it took for the delivery man to show up cuddling and watching as Simba was born and the animals sang about circles. Griffon made to stand when the doorbell rang, but Geoff shut that down instantly, looking pointedly at her breasts on display before going to get their dinner.

He came back to his giggling girlfriend sipping casually at her water before making eye contact.

“Someone’s jealous,”

“I’m not gonna let some greasy pizza man eye my girl,” he pouted, flipping the box open dramatically and making to grab a slice. Only the pizza was still hot and the sauce burned the tip of his finger causing him to yelp and stick his hand in his mouth.

“Oh my god,” Griffon bellowed, falling back on the couch while laughter wracked her whole body.

“Shut up!” he cried leaning over her and giving her a stern look, but she wouldn’t let up and soon he was leaning down to kiss her laughter away.

It worked.

They kissed slowly, softly, as if it was the first time in years they had gotten to do this. She started to sit up, pushing him along but not detaching their mouths. She pushed herself up onto his lap and placed her hands gently on his shoulders while his hands roamed her sides over her flannel before daring to dip under. Her skin was milky as soft, like it always was, but touching her this time felt different. It felt more intimate if that was even possible; her skin was hot under his cool finger tips.

“I’m not pressuring you am I?” she asked, barely an inch between them.

“Not at all. You’re sure about this?”

“Absolutely,” she nodded, moving to stand and take his hand. He didn’t move at first, giving her one last look over, eyes coming to rest on hers and looking for any sign of doubt. When he found none he stood up and let himself be lead towards the staircase. They moved up the steps slowly, each of them savoring these last few minutes, taking the time to think about what was about to happen.

Geoff was… he was giddy. He was actually thankful for his sunburn so nobody could see how red his blush was. He was about to sleep with the woman he loved and he was so excited.

Griffon was, well she was nervous; she had known they were going to do this longer than Geoff did. She talked it over with Lindsay, Tina, Barbara, Meg and Caiti all day and by fourth block she had made her decision, but she didn’t know it would be that night. She didn’t know her parents were taking off until she came home to them loading the car up with suitcases and kissing her goodbye.

She took a deep breath and squeezed Geoff’s hand one more time as they reached her door, smiling when he squeezed back. She just needed to know he was there, it was real and he was going to take care of her.

“Hey,” he whispered as she twisted the knob on her door. She turned to face him just as he let go of her hand, he grabbed her face with both hands and angled her so she was looking right at him. “You don’t need to do this,” he said honestly. “I love you and waiting isn’t gonna change that,”

“Geoff, I want this,” she smiled pushing up to kiss him. He smiled against her mouth and reached behind her opening her door and slowly walking inside, letting her feel behind her for anything that would trip her. When the backs of her knees hit the bed she sat carefully down and crawled back, motioning for Geoff to follow her.

He moved slowly, walking on his knees toward her, stopping just above her, leaning down to kiss the crown of her head. She got to her knees and wrapped both her arms around him pulling him close for a hug. They stayed like that for a long time, breathing in the familiar scents of each other before her hands trailed down his back and around to his front. She tugged gently at his t-shirt and stuffed her hands under it, resting her finger tips on his stomach. He smiled and let her hands roam, his own coming up to push the dark flannel from her, slowly running his hands up and down her arms after.

He brought his lips down to where her shoulder and neck met, kissing gently before his shirt was being lifted away from him and tossed to the floor carelessly. Her lips attacked his neck and that was it. The mood shifted and they were quick, hands roaming skin and lips kissing, biting, tasting.

The rest of their clothes followed shortly after and they went tumbling onto the bed, giggling as they did.

“The light is still on,” Griffon breathed.

“Leave it,” Geoff told her, pushing her back down.

“Why?”

“I want to see every inch of you. You are so fucking beautiful Griffon. I want to remember every sound, every expression you make. I want to see you,” he whispered, kissing down her neck and chest.

“God Geoff,” she groaned.

“You’re so hot,”

“I love you,”

“I love you too,” he smiled, reaching down to pull the covers up and over them.

~~~

“Give me a second,” Michael excused himself from Lindsay and walked across the hall stopping in front of where Matt and Jeremy were putting their books in their lockers side by side.

“Michael!” the redhead called after him, about to warn him not to do anything stupid, but he had already started talking.

“Look, what happened happened and while I’m pissed that I didn’t get to be the one to punch your stupid faces off, I’m also glad, because I don’t have a record. But if you continue to fuck with Gavin or Ray or anyone I care about, I won’t be too upset to get one. And I know Ryan won’t be either,” he warned.

“Oh look at you, trying to be tough,” Matt smirked, reaching out to pay Michael on the head, clearly loving the height advantage.

“Yeah, isn’t-“ Jeremy started, but he looked at something behind Michael and cut himself off. “Whatever,” he shook his head elbowing his friend and gesturing in the other direction.

Michael turned around when they were out of sight to find Ryan at the other end of the hallway, leaning against the lockers with his arms crossed glaring at the backs of the two morons. When he finally shifted his gaze to Michael he nodded at him once before turning and walking into the cafeteria.

Michael smirked at him and walked back to where Lindsay was waiting, eyes wide with worry. “Let’s go,” he said grabbing her wrist and tugging her in the direction his friends were in.

It was Geoff, Jack and Gavin’s first day back from suspension and the rumor mill was hot. Underclassmen followed them everywhere they went asking if this was true or if that really happened, wanting to get full details on the fight that took place. Ryan, Ray and Michael made like actual bodyguards much to the others’ displeasure, they stuck by one of them all day and when one student would get too nosy they’d be quick to tell them off.

However, as great as it was to have the three back, it also meant that Matt and Jeremy were back, which no one was happy about. Anytime they passed them in the hall they were met with glares and snarls.

Michael had been waiting to get alone all day so he could find them and talk to them, but Gavin, as if knowing this, was more clingy than usual that day.

“That wasn’t smart,” Lindsay whispered as they sat down.

“Why not?”

“They can report you for harassment,” she hissed.

“They wouldn’t, it’s their word against mine and nobody else heard them,” he said looking pointedly at her.

“Fine,” she grumbled.

“What’s going on?” Jack asked looking between the two, but Michael only shook his head and grabbed a fry off Gavin’s plate, not that Gavin noticed since he was glued to his phone.

Michael took another one and shoved it into his friend’s mouth to get his attention.

“Hey!” he whined, spitting the fry out and glaring at Michael.  

“Nice to see you too,” Michael smirked.

“What’s up with you two?” Ray asked after, throwing his empty milk bottle at Geoff and Griffon who were wrapped around each other.

“Nothing,” Griffon sighed wistfully. They smiled sickeningly at each other and rubbed their noses together in a sweet Eskimo kiss.

“They probably banged. Finally,” Jack joked, but when he saw their shocked faces he knew he had apparently hit the nail on the head. “Oh my God!”

“Holy shit,” Michael deadpanned. The other girls at the table started cheering and squealing while the guys gave disbelieving looks at the couple.

“I’m surprised she actually let you touch her,” Gavin laughed earning a full water bottle to the chest. He complained about it for a minute before his phone binged again and he pulled it out to read whatever message was on the screen.

Geoff and Griffon were quick to shut their friends up promising they’d talk more about it later, but they were in public with tons of strangers surrounding them and they weren’t really looking to have this discussion.

“Well, the bells gonna ring soon so we’re gonna get outta here,” Geoff announced, pushing his chair back with a loud scrape and wrapping an arm around Griffon.

“Jesus,” Meg laughed, but she was cut off when the intercom dinged and their principal’s voice rang through.

“Attention juniors, tickets for this year’s junior prom go on sale next Monday at lunch, the price is forty dollars per ticket and you can’t buy a ticket without your permission slips which are located in the office,”

“What the fuck?” Jack asked.

“Why is it so early? They never do prom at the start of the year,”

“That’s cause they never know if they have enough money for it at the start of the year but last year’s fundraising totals were off the charts,” Barbara explained, throwing her garbage on her plate and standing to taking it to the trash.

“Better start finding people to ask,” Michael teased looking around the table. When he turned to Gavin though he found him on his phone again, big grin on his face while he typed away at a message. When Michael tried to look at the recipient he was only able to make out a name that started with a ‘C’ before Gavin was locking the phone and shoving it away looking at Michael with big green doe eyes.

“Who are you talking to?” he asked casually.

“Oh, no one,” Gavin tried to be cool, but his face split into a grin and Michael knew it wasn’t just normal texting. Gavin was being flirted with, he was red and flustered.

“What’s his name?” Michael asked.

“What? Who?”

“The guy that’s got you all hot and bothered,” the redhead explained, he was trying to be relaxed, he should be relaxed. There was no reason for him to be upset, and yet he could feel his patients wearing thin.

“Oh, you don’t know him,” Gavin smiled. Michael was about to respond, but the bell rang and then the café was a flurry of motion, students rushing to throw their things away and get to their next class in time.

“See you later,” Caiti smiled, taking Jack’s hand and leading the way.

One by one the others packed their belongings and left, but Michael stayed seated, watching as Gavin started to gather his things, always getting distracted by his phone.

“You’re gonna be late,” Michael snapped eventually, turning on his heel and storming out of the room. He turned back when he got to the door, hoping that the Brit was following him or watching him, anything, but when he turned and saw him still glued to his phone, wide grin on his face he threw his hands up and walked to class.

~~~

“So then she pushed me off the boat and I almost drowned,” Caiti explained with a hearty laugh.

“That’s not funny!” Jack exclaimed, but watching his girlfriend laugh so hard had him following suit shortly after.

“Oh at the time it wasn’t,” she started, “but after they pulled me out of the water and got me towels and ice cream I was okay with it,” she finished shrugging.

“Well, I’ll never push you off a boat,” he promised.

“I can’t say the same,” she winked. Jack pretended to be offended, throwing a hand over his heart and gasping.

“You’d really risk killing me?”

“If there were sharks in the water I wouldn’t, but if it’s shallow…” she trailed off leaning in to kiss him.

“I’d never forgive you,” he mumbled against her mouth.

“Even if I made it up to you?”

“How would you do that?” he smirked wiggling his eyebrows.

“You tell me,” she grinned leaning in again.

They kissed slowly, still getting used to the feel of each other’s mouths and skin. Not wanting to push, but too impatient. Jack wrapped both his arms around her and pulled her onto him, leaning back to lay in the soft grass under them. His backyard was large and well lit from his porch, letting him see every detail of his girlfriend even under the dark sky.

They hadn’t done much and Jack was making sure to keep it that way for a long time. While Jack always joked about sexual things with Geoff he was quite shy when it came to actual sexual acts and since Caiti was still new to the country in general he didn’t want her to have any bad memories if she were to do something she wasn’t prepared for.

They rolled around and pushed at each other between kisses, giggling and grinning at each other before Jack remembered something and his face went red.

“So… prom,” he started watching her face light up.

“What about it?” she asked coyly.

“Did- do you want to go with me?” he stuttered.

“Well…” she trailed off. “I’ll have to check my schedule,” she joked.

“Ha ha,” Jack rolled his eyes, pulling her to him again for another sweet kiss.

“I like you,” she whispered softly.

“I like you too,”

She rolled off him and snuggled into his side, both of them lying on their backs and looking up at the stars through the trees in the yard. She placed her hand over his heart and smiled when he put his right over it squeezing gently, a happy hum escaping his throat.

“Do you have any hobbies?”

“What?” he asked.

“I’m still getting to know you,” she murmured. “Do you have any hobbies?”

“No,” he said quickly turning his head away from her.

“You do!” she laughed. “Tell me,”

“It’s stupid,”

“Doubt it,” she pecked his cheek. “Please tell me. Don’t you trust me?” she pouted rolling onto him and looking at him with big eyes.

“You can’t do that to me,” he groaned.

“Tell me,” she begged.

“I build things out of Lego’s,” he admitted.

“That’s so cute!”

“It’s lame,” he corrected.

“No way! We should build something together sometime,”

“Really?”

“My best friend’s little brother used to make stuff with them all the time. When we were younger we’d help him, before she decided that we were too old for that,” she explained with a roll of the eyes.

“Well, maybe we can build something sometime,” he nodded.

“Can’t wait,”

“What do you want to be when you’re older?”

“It’s silly,” she started rolling off of him again. “I’ve kinda always been into modeling,” she laughed covering her face.

“Really?”

“Yeah, when I was little I’d force my mom to take me to the mall whenever they were looking for models for stores and stuff. I never got picked but I loved doing it. It’s stupid I know,” she shrugged.

“It’s not stupid,” he said without hesitation. He sat up so he could look down at her; make sure she heard his every word. “You’re beautiful, and I know you can make a career out of that, hell I’ll help you get started,”

“Seriously? You think I could make it?”

“I know you could,” he leaned down to peck her nose before lying back down.

She didn’t say anything after that, left to her thoughts. No one she had ever told that to reacted in that way. Even her best friend had laughed and told her she was funny before telling her to aim for something more practical, like a doctor or a lawyer. Her first boyfriend told her she wasn’t small enough to be on the runway and her father told her she was a dreamer.

Now, she looked at the boy next to her and smiled warmly at him, leaning up to kiss him on the cheek before settling back in to watch the stars.

She didn’t bother asking another question. She had already learned plenty about him for one night.

~~~

“Gavin, wait up!” a voice called out just as the bell rang. Gavin waved goodbye to Lindsay, Tina and Meg and turned around to see Caleb standing against a row of lockers. Gavin’s face flushed when he saw the smile he used to know so well.

Caleb had approached him last week after class, apologized profusely and after the fifth time in less than three minutes Gavin had accepted. Apparently Caleb took that as an invitation to start texting him regularly again. He had been skeptical at first, but after so many days and countless conversations Gavin felt it was safe to say they could be friends again. Not that he’d tell the others any time soon.

“What’s up?”

“I was wondering if maybe you wanted to hang out sometime…” he trailed off awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck.

Gavin started at this, they were on okay terms, that was true, but… Gavin didn’t know if hanging out would be wise for them considering everything they had been through. Let alone what his friends would think, they’d kill Gavin for even suggesting it.

“I- I don’t know Caleb, I mean, my friends would never let me…”

“Gavin, I know they don’t like me, I don’t blame them, I was stupid to give up the best thing I had,” he started. “But, you make your own choices on who you hang out with you know,”

“I- I guess you’re right,” Gavin shrugs. “I’ll think about it,”

“Get back to me soon,” he winked walking down the hall. Gavin blushed and looked to the ground before he heard someone clearing their throat behind him. He turned to find Meg standing with a raised brow.

“What was that?” she asked.

“Just a chat,”

“Oh? I don’t think that’s true,” her gaze was piercing.

“Look, just, don’t tell the others,”

“Are you getting back together?” she asked in disbelief.

“No! God no, we’re just trying out the friend thing,”

“That’s not at all how he was looking at you,”

“How was he looking at me?”

“Like, Ryan looked at Ray before they got together, pure lust,” she whispered, grabbing his wrist and tugging him in the direction of their next class.

“Well, that’s not how I was looking at him,” he argued.

“Right,”

“Meg,”

“Gav,”

“We’re gonna be late,” he rolled his eyes and ran ahead to his class.

By the time they were at lunch that day Gavin was met with heated stares from a certain redheaded girl across from him. No one else noticed, except maybe Lindsay, but she didn’t say anything.

They mainly spent their entire lunch period staring at each other, except for the few times that Gavin caught a certain ex’s eye across the room and they'd steal small glances at each other, but then his eyes would drift back to the hazel of his other ex and he’d advert his gaze to the table.

“You okay?” Ray whispered from his left suddenly causing him to jump and bash his knee on the underside of the table. Everyone turned to look at him but he brushed them off, standing with his tray and mumbling about needing to get to the library to study.

No one moved to go after him, except Caleb, not that anyone at Gavin’s table was paying attention to him.

He found him stuffing books into his locker hastily, struggling because there wasn’t enough room and they kept slipping out. In the end his history textbook and his English book ended up landing on the ground with a loud smack.

“Shit,” he whispered, leaning down to pick them up, but before he could grab them another set of hands was swooping in to collect them.

“You okay?” Caleb asked blue eyes bright and concerned.

“Yeah, just, out of it,”

“Do you want me to take you to the nurse?”

“No, no I’m okay,” he shook his head quickly. “I should, I gotta get to class,”

“The bell hasn’t even-“ Caleb started, but was cut off by said bell causing him to smile and roll his eyes. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” he winked.

“Bye,” Gavin called out watching him go with a sigh.

He never saw Geoff watching from around the corner, a frown stretched across his face and a confused look in his eyes.

~~~

“I kicked your ass again!” Michael yelled pointing right at Jack’s face and throwing his controller down.

“You know, you really need to stop complaining about how expensive Xbox accessories are considering it’s your own fault for breaking everything,” Ray told him when he reached down to pick up the now slightly dented controller.

“Alright, well, you guys should stop sucking and or cheating at games and making me mad,”

“You won! Why would that make you mad?”

“Cause you didn’t put up much of a fight!”

“You’re a sore winner!”

“You can’t accept that someone else can beat you at COD now!”

“Fuck off that was only once!”

“Boys!” Geoff shouted causing both the lads to shut up and look up at him apologetically. “Does it really matter? Michael breaks his own shit and pays for it. Ray has since regained his title. You’re both idiots, the end,”

“Amen to that,” Jack laughed earning a pillow to the face from the youngest lad. Michael and Geoff joined in soon after, grabbing pillows from around the room and smashing them against each other’s faces in a vicious fight.

“Ryan help me!” Michael yelled when he turned around to see Gavin and Ryan both sitting quietly on their phones across the room.

“If I get involved you’ll all die,” he deadpanned causing them to slow down for a beat before shrugging and continuing the battle.

“Gavin!” Jack called but the Brit didn’t even look up.

“Busy,” he mumbled, thumbs dancing across the screen.

“Who are you texting?” Ray asked suddenly, shoving his way through the pile. “You’ve been glued to it all week,”

“Yeah,” Geoff nodded eyes narrow. “Who is it?”

“No one,” he waved them off, smiling at the screen and sending another text.

“It’s not… a certain cheating ex-boyfriend is it?”

“What?” Michael snapped.

“What?” Gavin echoed.

“I saw you in the hall today with Caleb,” the eldest confessed, causing all heads to turn towards Gavin with various looks of anger and concern.

“Was he bugging you?” Ryan asked, phone now thrown carelessly to the side.

“No no,”

“So you were talking to him willingly?” Jack asked innocently.

“Whoa, what is going on?” Gavin stood up hands out in front of him. “I dropped my books and he helped me pick them up,”

“That’s not what it looked like,”

“Why are you always attacking me?” he snarled. He knew he was getting defensive, giving them a reason to keep pushing, but he hadn’t been doing anything wrong.

“This isn’t an attack, this is worry,”

“Well stop!” he balled his fists up and could feel them shaking.

“Gavin, I didn’t punch him out just for you to run back to him,” Ryan said calmly. Gavin turned on him and shoved his pointer finger into his chest.

“Oh come off it. He helped me pick up my books and left,”

“Guys,” Ray cut in, moving to stand next to the pissed Brit. “Lay off, we need to trust him,”

“Do you know something we don’t?”

“Are you hearing yourselves?” he snapped. “Gavin says nothing is going on, he’s our best friend. Why can’t we trust him?”

“Yeah,” Gavin nodded. The two boys engaged in a heated staring contest with their other friends for a long minute, nobody wanting to crack before finally Geoff heaved a sigh.

“Fine, I’m sorry. I just- I know how forgiving you are,” he explained.

“I would never,” he lied easily. He almost felt bad, but he knew they wouldn’t be supportive, and it’s not like they told him everything either.

“Okay,” Jack said slowly, moving to stand in the center of the room. “Let’s watch a movie, yeah?” he made eye contact mainly with Gavin and Geoff who both nodded before he turned to pick one.

“I’m going to get a drink,” Gavin announced stomping up the stairs.

They watched him go in silence before Ray turned to glare at Geoff. “Why would you attack him like that?”

“I know what I saw,”

“You can’t just go at him like that though,” Ray tried to reason.

“He’s been acting strange all week; excuse me for being worried,”

“Okay, he’s been smiling at his phone like a moron all week, why would that be concerning?” When Geoff had no answer he went on. “Wouldn’t we want him to be happy?” he asked innocently.

“Bullshit,” Michael said from behind him. When he turned around he found the redhead on the couch where Gavin was previously sitting, Gavin’s phone unlocked in his hands.

“What the fuck man?” Ray glared.

“Trust him my ass. He’s been talking to Caleb for like a week,” he said scrolling through the messages. Geoff and Ryan moved themselves to get squished on either side of him and look at the phone.

“Fuck you guys,” Ray snapped, reaching out to grab the phone from Michael’s hands.

“Hey, he’s the one that left it here unlocked,”

“Not an excuse,” he locked the phone and threw it on Gavin’s sleeping bag before sitting down on the floor with his arms crossed nodding at Jack to just start the movie.

A minute later Gavin returned with six water bottles cradled in his arms. Ray whipped around to glare at the three boys on the couch while Jack sat stiffly next to him. No one said a word.

“What?” Gavin asked when no one even thanked him for their water.

“Nothing,” Ray said quickly, reaching out for Gavin’s wrist and tugging him to sit next to him.

“Okay,” he muttered.

They sat silently through the movie, no one looking at another person just the crunching of chips and popcorn filling the room.

Finally the end credits were rolling and Michael was standing to turn the TV off, turning around and crawling into his sleeping bag. Everyone around him moved to their positions except Gavin who dragged his makeshift bed over to Ray.

Michael just rolled his eyes and let him go. No one said goodnight either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay for Caleb?  
> no?  
> Oh okay.  
> I hope you liked it and I hope to hear from some of you soon.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so sorry. I meant to have this out quite sometime ago, but I ended up rereading my entire story and realized that I kinda hate the first like 10 chapters and there are a lot of errors scattered throughout this piece. I figure that when it's all said and done I'll go back and edit everything. Anyway! I've been looking forward to getting this one done because it has something I'm sure a lot of you have been waiting for in it so there's that!  
> Enjoy and I hope to hear from some of you soon.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“I’m freaking out man!” Michael sighed running his fingers through his hair again.

When he had texted Geoff at two in the morning telling him he needed to meet at the swings, Geoff figured something, well, bad had happened, he didn’t think that the redhead would be whining about not knowing who to take to prom. He did not wake up for this shit.

“I did not wake up, at two in the morning, when we have school in only a few hours, to hear you bitch and moan about being dateless to prom,” he deadpanned, pulling his sweatshirt tighter around himself.

“Geoff, come on man, I’ve been thinking about it since the announcement went out,”

“Ask Lindsay,”

“She’s going with Meg,”

“Barbara,”

“She’s going with her boyfriend, Aaron,”

“Arryn,”

“Miles,”

“Tina,”

“I don’t know her that well,”

“I hate you,”

“I know,”

“Ray?”

“Yeah, cause I want Ryan to kill me,”

“Holy shit, go with Gavin, it’s only a matter of time before Caleb asks him,”

“But, everyone at school will think I’m like, with him,”

Geoff, stared at him, eyes narrowed for a solid minute before he turned on his heel and started walking toward his car.

“Geoff!”

“Everyone already thinks you’re dating him, who cares? Gay is okay!” he called without turning around, leaving a pouting Michael behind.

“Geoff,” he whined, but the other was already shutting his car door and buckling up. “Bitch!” he yelled out as his friend drove away.

He crossed his arms across his chest and trailed his feet around in the sand writing his name and covering it up. Being honest, he had thought about asking Gavin to prom multiple times since they’d both most likely be going alone anyway, but he didn’t really know how to go about it. He didn’t want it being weird, having Gavin think he was into him or anything. He’d hate to make the Brit feel uncomfortable whenever they hung out.

The more he thought about asking his best friend though, the more he thought it was a bad idea, but then he’d think about Caleb and he’d make himself mad, because he knew that Gavin would most likely be going to prom with him.

Only, prom wasn’t the only problem Michael was dealing with right now. He’d deny it to anyone that asked, but he was stressed out, school, friends, relationships, he was tired all the time. He wouldn’t complain to his friends though, didn’t want them to feel bad, or responsible, and he wouldn’t blame them either, but he was still lonely, and a little sad.

He sat alone at the park at three in the morning in nothing but his pajamas and slippers, alone with his thoughts for a long time before he finally sighed and pushed himself off.

Unlike Geoff, he had walked all the way to the park, and since they had school in a couple hours he decided that it was best if he went home. Only, he didn’t want to go home, he wanted to be with his best friend. He sent a text to his mother saying that Gavin had called him in tears and he needed to be there, it was a lie, but she wouldn’t ask him about it. In fact, she’d congratulate him on being a good friend.

He walked the short distance from the park to Gavin’s house, pulling his phone out to call the boy. It rang three times before he picked up, voice groggy and sheets rustling.

“’lo,”

“Open the door,” he whispered. Gavin didn’t even hesitate before telling him okay and hanging up.

Michael waited patiently, ear pressed to the door as Gavin tip toed down. Seconds later the door was creaking open and Gavin, oversized sweater, one Michael recognized as his own, swallowing him whole, hair in a mess and pajama pants low on his hips. He looked at Michael with concerned green eyes, squinting at the porch light reaching up to wipe the sleep out of the corners while he stepped back and ushered his friend in. Michael stepped in quietly, kicking his shoes off and placing them next to Gavin’s without a word.

They stumbled up the steps and down the hall quickly, crashing into Gavin’s bed. They waited to speak for a long few minutes, trying to find out if they had woken Gavin’s parents in the process.

When it was deemed safe Gavin turned on his side and stared Michael down. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Michael shook his head wrapping an arm around the boys waist.

“You just came to my house at nearly four in the morning on a school night for a sleep over then?”

“Yeah, pretty much,”

“Okay,” Gavin shrugged, pushing himself closer and shutting his eyes.

“Are you going to prom with Caleb?” he asked suddenly, nearly wincing at how quickly Gavin’s eyes shot open.

“He hasn’t asked me,” he whispered. Michael nearly sighed in relief, tugging him closer. “Why?”

“Just wondering if you wanted to maybe go with me, since all our other friends will be going together, why not keep it in the group right?”

“Like…”

“Like, my friend date, be my friend date to prom?” Gavin smiled softly at him and nodded.

“Yeah, I’ll be your friend date,”

Michael didn’t know why it made his insides burst with joy; he decided not to question it either.

They fell asleep moments later, heads bent close together and arms wrapped tightly.

When they woke up, three hours late for school with a number of texts and calls from their friends they didn’t question that their hands had somehow become clasped tightly between them in their slumber.

They got up, prepped their voices and called each other out of school, Michael putting on a terrible British accent and Gavin putting on a more redneck American one that had Michael laughing hysterically on the bed.

Gavin’s parents weren’t home, so they took their time, showering and getting ready for the day, texting their friends that they could come over to Gavin’s after and they’d watch movies and hang out and explain what happened.

When their four friends all sent confirmations they settled into his bed and started watching the Harry Potter movies in order.

They made it halfway through the third when Gavin’s doorbell rang and seconds later Geoff was letting himself in. He was followed by Ray, Jack and lastly Ryan. They called out their hello’s and kicked their shoes off at the door, plopping themselves down in various areas of Gavin’s living room.

“What happened to you two last night then?” Ray joked.

“Yeah, get shit faced?” Jack added.

“Yeah, totally,” Michael said rolling his eyes. He caught Geoff’s cautious look then watching them like a hawk for any signs of, well, anything.

“I’m getting a drink, anyone want anything?” Ray announced suddenly, pushing himself off the couch and heading for the fridge. When everyone confirmed Ray sighed, mumbling under his breath about only having two arms.

“I can help,” Ryan offered moving to stand.

“No no,” Ray shut him down quickly, “I got it,”

“Are you sure?”

“Yup,” the youngest said popping the ‘p’ and turning the corner.

Gavin coughed awkwardly and sunk back into his seat, letting Michael throw a casual arm around him. No one blinked at the action, having been used to it for years now, but still Michael looked over to see Geoff watching him, eyes narrowed. Michael raised an eye back and sent him a thumbs up, mouthing “okay?”

“So, Michael who are you taking to prom?” he asked suddenly watching the way the redheads shoulders tensed.

“Gavin actually,” he said evenly. Geoff smirked at him then and leaned back.

“Seriously?” Jack asked with a grin, “it’s about time you two-“

“Anyway!” Geoff said loudly, earning strange looks from all of them. He kept his eyes trained on Gavin though noticing the embarrassed blush on his cheeks. “Harry Potter,”

Ray chose that moment to walk back in the room cradling an assortment of drinks in his arms. He handed everyone their choice, coming lastly to Ryan. “Here,” he mumbled holding it out. He didn’t mean to jolt back when their fingertips brushed over the can, and he felt bad for the wince Ryan gave, but he couldn’t help it.

He shuffled back to the couch, with his head down, and settled in with the other two lads. He didn’t make eye contact with anyone else until they had finished the entire series of movies.

Everyone else however, had fallen asleep at the end of the fifth and start of the sixth movie. Gavin’s parents had come home a few hours before, not shocked to find all six boys in varying degrees of sleep in their living room. They tip toed up the stairs and whispered goodnight before Ray heard their bedroom door click shut.

He surveyed the room around him, Geoff had curled up in a small ball in the corner, and Ray almost laughed when he noticed that Geoff had pulled up the entire corner of the rug and used it as a blanket. Michael and Gavin were keeping each other warm next to him and Jack was snoring lightly on the loveseat across the room. The recliner next to him was filled with Ryan and it made Ray sigh. That was the recliner they had slept on together numerous times, endless cuddles and kisses shared between them and now it was occupied by only half of what used to be.

He reached for the remote and turned the TV off then, sinking back. It was late and he hadn’t slept well the night before, but he couldn’t find it in himself to drift off. And he could only find his eyes trained on two things; the clock, and Ryan.

The clock wasn’t interesting enough to keep his focus for more than two minutes at a time, but Ryan… Ray hadn’t taken the time in the last few weeks to really take in his ex. He hadn’t given himself a minute to admire the boy’s soft hair and strong arms, his soft sleeping face.

It pissed Ray off.

He was miserable; the entire time they had been together he was fucking exhausted mentally and physically. All he wanted to do every day was lie in bed and sleep, skip school, curl up and wait until something good came his way. And here Ryan was, sleeping peacefully without a care in the world, completely at ease with everything around him.

He still had questions, he still had fears and worries and he couldn’t seem to get a good enough answer out of anyone he asked. Every day seemed to add to his stress and he could feel himself hitting the tipping point.

He would talk to Gavin, but he wasn’t awake, and he would try talking to Jack, but Jack was closer to Ryan than him, and while he trusted Jack whole heartedly it just didn’t feel right to him.

He didn’t realize how long he had been sitting on the couch staring at the blonde until his eyes slid over to the clock and he noticed that it was well after midnight. He gave up on being able to sleep and got off the couch heading towards the door to slip his shoes on. He made sure he had his back pack, phone, and sweatshirt before he looked back into the living room once more to make sure he wasn’t caught. When no one showed any signs of being awake he pulled the door open inch by inch until he could slip himself through. He took his time closing the door and then he was off into the night, heading in the direction of his neighborhood.

He wasn’t in any rush to be home on time, he wasn’t supposed to be home at all, so it didn’t really matter. He took in the houses around him, usually so lit up with kids running around outside or people gardening now dark and silent, not a person in sight. Drive ways that were usually empty were now filled with cars that would only be leaving in a few more hours for another day of hard work.

There were a few people out driving in a hurry to get somewhere, probably home to sleep before they had to be up for another long day, Ray thought.

Eventually he passed the school, going around the back to see if the gate to the football field was open, cheering to himself when it was. He shouldered through, heading for the bleachers and setting his bag down. The air was warm, wrapping around his skin and giving him a sense of calm.

He was pissed and sad most of the time now, never taking time to let himself relax. His life just felt too hectic right now, with work and school and relationships and friends, he couldn’t find himself being at ease, but here on the rickety school bleachers by himself, surrounded by nothing but the stars he allowed himself to take a deep breath and settle down.

He looked down at his phone for the time, smiling when he saw that he had absolutely no notifications, not a message from his friends or a social media bubble. He had no one waiting on him, nothing that needed his attention, it felt… amazing.

He stayed for a long time, enjoying the silence around him, smiling at the twinkling stars above him while he lay on the uncomfortable metal seats. He stayed until his phone read two am. Sighing, he picked himself off and made sure he left no sign of ever being there before he made his way down the steps flinching at the creaking sounds they made under his weight.

As he walked home, going back and getting ready for the real world again the thoughts started slamming into the front of his mind begging for his attention. He tried ignoring them, not showing them any spotlights, but they were persistent and soon he found himself worrying about every little thing. Did he pass his last math test? Did he do his laundry? Was he doing okay at work? Did Ryan still- no.

He wouldn’t let himself think about this anymore, he needed to give up, he needed to move on. They weren’t going to get anywhere, they were never going to be happy and together again and Ray needed to accept that, but sometimes he’d think back to the few weeks after their break up when Ryan was starting to open up again, attempt the friend thing with him. He thought about every time Ryan would reach out to hold him in some way since they broke up, he thought about the kiss, Ryan’s hands on his body after so long, how familiar it was, how… new, it felt because of the distance they now felt with each other. He knew Ryan still cared for him, which was a no brainer, they all cared for each other, but he also knew Ryan. He knew everything about him, his favorite color and his wildest dreams, he knew what his voice sounded like first thing in the morning and how embarrassed he was when he didn’t have a shirt on but if Ray asked he’d take it off anyway. He knew Ryan, and he knew his feelings for him did not just stop at caring, but the one thing he didn’t know about Ryan anymore was if he still loved Ray.

He wanted to say yes, he hoped it was a yes, but at this point, he didn’t know what to trust when it came to emotions that not even the brain could fully understand sometimes.

Soon he was in his doorway, slowly turning the key in the lock and pushing the door open. He untied his shoes one at a time and slipped them off his feet into the corner next to his back pack before he stumbled up the steps and into his bedroom suddenly exhausted and ready to sleep. He knew he’d hate himself in the morning, but he couldn’t find it in himself to be upset at this time, so he curled up under his comforter and let his eyes slide shut.

~~~

“What the fuck happened to you last night!” Michael yelled slamming Ray’s locker door shut. “We’ve been calling you all morning and you just waltz in nearly late and don’t say a word we were worried about you Ray!”

“Calm down, I went home,” he shrugged.

“In the middle of the night, who got you?”

“I walked home,” he deadpanned.

“Wait, you just walked home alone in the middle of the night and didn’t get murdered?” Geoff asked.

“Yeah, it was nice,”

“You’re still an idiot!” Michael snarled.

“Dude calm down, I won’t do it again, I was originally just getting some fresh air but decided half way that I’d just go home,”

“You wouldn’t have brought all your things with you if you were just going on a walk,” Jack stated. Ray smiled sheepishly at him and shrugged again.

“We’re all gonna be late,” he told them walking the direction of the main staircase.

“Fuck you,” Michael called after him.

“Love you too!” Ray yelled disappearing into the crowd.

The bell rang just as he settled in, but students were still rushing around in the halls trying not to get in too much trouble with their first block teachers. Ryan was among these students walking into history class late and taking a seat right behind Ray.

“Are you okay?” he whispered causing Ray to shiver violently.

“Fine,” he mumbled leaning forward in his chair. Ryan however wasn’t accepting this as an answer, wrapping a hand around the boy’s shoulder and pulling him back to him.

“We were really scared you know,”

“Fuck your guilt trip man, I needed to get out of there, kill me,”

“Something last night could have,”

“What would you care?” he snapped turning in his seat to glare at the blonde, not even feeling the least bit sorry when the blue eyes he loved widened and averted their gaze.

“Ray, Ryan, is everything alright?” their teacher asked, glasses low on the bridge of her nose.

“Yes ma’am,” Ray answered with a nervous smile.

Ryan didn’t talk to him again for the rest of class.

But then there was lunch where everyone seemed to be coming at him a hundred times stronger than that morning.

“Did you parent’s call or something?” Gavin asked.

“Nope,”

“Did you get sick?”

“No,”

“Don’t do it again,”

“Yes dad,” he rolled his eyes at Geoff and pushed his chair back, not even acknowledging the loud screech it gave out along the tiled floor.

“Where are you going now?” Michael asked.

“To throw my tray away, if that’s alright with all of you?” he snarked.

“Yeah, it’s fine,” Geoff waved him off.

He stalked across the cafeteria and dumped his tray into the garbage turning around and bumping into something solid, he wasn’t really surprised to find the solid mass belonged to the chest of Ryan.

“Was it because of me?” he asked lowly. He thought about lying, but even when he was pissed at Ryan he couldn’t do that to him, and he knew that the blonde could read every emotion he had better than him.

“Yes,” he said simply turning on his heel and walking out of the café all together. One of his friends would get his bag for him.

Well, he hoped they would, but they might not like having to carry it around for the rest of the day since he decided to skip the rest of his classes. He made his way around the school to the art wing, there was a set of doors back there and the cameras were usually ignored because nothing interesting happened in the art wing.

He walked casually down the hall looking in each classroom as he passed making sure no one was paying him any mind before he pushed the doors open and walked out. He was careful not to walk past the main entrance, opting to go through the football field and into the small patch of trees that lead to a neighborhood in town. He walked past the apartment buildings and houses, stumbling through dirt pathways and through backyards.

He walked until his legs were numb from the crisp December air and the miles he had walked. Soon he found himself outside the movie theater in town, stopping for only a second before he walked around to the side of the building. He’d never done this in broad daylight before, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. The door was slightly cracked, so without a second thought he pushed it open and crept up the stairs.

He stopped suddenly when he heard a crunching sound from a few feet above, slowly he inched toward the door and pushed it open revealing Joel Heyman sitting in the middle of the floor eating a bag of chips.

“Hey man!” he stood up when he say Ray, coming towards him with open arms. “Long time no see,” he grinned.

“Not really much reason to come around,” the boy shrugged stepping further into the room.

“Take a seat; hang out for a while,”

“Shouldn’t you be working?”

“It’s my day off,”

“…alright,” Ray shrugged again sitting next to him.

“I like to come here and get stoned, my parents would kill me if I did it in the house,” he explained sensing Ray’s confusion.

“Oh,”

“Yeah, so why haven’t you been around?”

“Well Ryan and I broke up,”

“Oh yeah! He mentioned that once, seemed really upset,”

“Really?” Ray asked head snapping towards the older man.

“Yeah, heartbroken actually. He had to go home two hours early because he was on the verge of a mental breakdown,”

“I didn’t know that,”

“Yeah, he doesn’t talk about it anymore, Barbara asked once but he shut her down,”

Ray nodded and kept his eyes on the floor, suddenly in love with the carpet below them. He ran his fingers along the soft material remembering the nights he and Ryan spent laying on it, snuggled up under the small quilt the blond kept in his car. He shook himself out of it, he couldn’t think about that shit anymore.

“Why aren’t you in school?” Joel asked digging around in his bag a few feet away.

“Couldn’t handle it today,”

“I get that. Need something to calm down?” he grinned wickedly holding what looked like a cigarette up. Ray new better though, and he had only tried doing drugs once, and he hated it, but right now, he felt the need to say yes.

“Right on,” Joel smirked.

~~~

“I don’t know where the fuck he went man,” Michael told Ryan for the third time.

“Well he didn’t show up to any of his other classes apparently and his mom called me in a panic,”

“I understand that, but I don’t know what to tell you,” Michael shrugged. “He’s a grown boy, probably needed a day off,”

“I’ll ask Gavin,” he waved the redhead off, stalking out of the living room and pulling his phone from his pocket. It was then that he saw he had two text messages, both from Joel.

_Dude, your ex is hilarious, shouldn’t have let him go man._

Ryan clutched his phone till his knuckles turned white, scrolling down to read the next white bubble.

_I’ve never seen someone get so stoned off one hit, kids a lightweight._

Ryan threw the phone on the counter and stormed into the living room standing in front of the TV so Michael couldn’t watch his character get shot in the head.

“He was getting high with my coworker,” he said calmly.

“And how does that make you feel?” Michael smirked at him.

“Shut the fuck up,”

“Why does this piss you off so much?”

“He doesn’t do drugs! None of us do, this doesn’t alarm you?”

“To be honest,” Michael started laying his controller on the coffee table in front of them. “Ray’s been trying really hard to mend what you broke man, and I’m not saying drugs are the best way to handle it, but right now it’s one way he can. Let him breathe, we all know this won’t become a regular thing,”

“But what if it does?”

“Ray? Smoking daily? Yeah right,”

“You’re no help, I’m calling Geoff,”

“You aren’t Ray’s boyfriend anymore Rye, you’ll get the same answer from Geoff that you got from me. You don’t get to be mad at him for trying to cope with what you did,”

“I need to see him,” Ryan announced, grabbing his sweatshirt off the recliner and heading towards the door.

“Don’t be upset if he refuses to speak, you fucked him up,”

“I wish you’d all stop blaming me,” Ryan whispered, hand wrapped around the doorknob.

“Look, I get it, you were hurting too, but you handled this all wrong and that’s why you’re at fault. You broke up with him; you can’t keep running to him and getting mad at him for his actions. The only one in charge of him is him,”

“I’ll call you later,” Ryan threw over his shoulder, opening the door and stepping out. He let it shut quietly behind him, taking a deep breath of winter air. He walked calmly to his car and climbed inside starting the engine and putting it in reverse.

He drove through Michael’s neighborhood, half tempted to call Ray and warn him and half wanting to just speed and tear into the house yelling and swearing. He knew better though, neither would help him or Ray at all, so he drove cautiously until he was in the boy’s driveway.

He didn’t get out though, just parked and watched the door as if by some sort of magic Ray would just open it and run out to him himself. The house looked the same, blue door still holding a star under the peep hole, large dent in it from that one Halloween in eighth grade when Ray flung his pillowcase of candy at the door in celebration of having the most. His mother grounded him for a week.

The windows were still outlined in white, red curtains hanging in the kitchen, blue in the living room. The small rectangular window upstairs was the bathroom and from the car Ryan could see the yellow wall melding into the white ceiling, he knew if he walked into the room the mirror would still be chipped from where Geoff had drunkenly fallen one night when it was just the guys, bashing his face into the mirror and leaving a trail of red and a corner of glass shattered away.

He knew everything about this house, he remembered everything, and it was all the same. But for some reason everything felt different. Everything had changed, and the person in the bedroom with the black curtains next to the bathroom was a complete stranger, probably sitting high in his bed trying to remember what his name was and thinking his hands didn’t belong to him.

Ryan wanted to know him again. He wanted to be able to walk into the living room and point out the hole in the wall behind the TV thanks to Gavin thinking he could somersault in seventh grade. They covered it with a stack of books that still hasn’t been moved since everyone, including Mrs. Narvaez, was too lazy to move them. He wanted to be able to walk into Ray’s room with him hand in hand on a Monday and sit on the edge of the bed to talk about their days and their plans for the week. He wanted to cut Ray off midsentence again with a kiss, pushing him back until they were lying side by side on the bed lips never parting.

But instead of doing anything. Instead of getting out of the car and marching up to the door, storming in like it was his own house and telling Ray everything that was racing through his mind, instead of this. He started his car and backed out of the driveway, telling himself it was a useless fight. He spared one last glance at the house when he was safely in the road, and he couldn’t be sure, but he swore he saw someone looking down at him from behind the black curtains, letting them swing shut when Ryan’s eyes found them.

~~~

“Dude, hit B!” Geoff shouted at Gavin for the fifth time.

“What?” Gavin asked, head whipping up from where he was staring at his phone.

“That’s the fifth time you’ve let me get sacked this quarter!” the older yelled throwing his controller on the ground and rolling onto his back.

“Yeah damn Gavin, you usually suck, but today you’re really bad,”

“Sorry, I was texting,”

“Yeah yeah, that’s all you do,”

“Sorry?”

“You just sit and text your little boyfriend,”

“He’s not my boyfriend, why do you all get so hung up on this?”

“I just mean, would it kill you to put the phone down when we’re all together and hanging out?”

“Oh? Cause you _never_ text Griffon when we’re here,”

“That’s different!”

“Why? Because I’m texting Caleb and you don’t like him, but if it were Meg or Michael or anyone else we know it wouldn’t matter,”

“You’re damn right it wouldn’t matter. He cheated on you. We beat him up for you, and you go running right back to him without a second thought,”

“I didn’t go running back, and he apologized, I can be his friend Geoff,”

“What he’s trying to say,” Jack cut in, holding up a hand to silence Geoff when he opened his mouth. “Is that we don’t want you getting hurt again, please be careful,”

“I won’t get hurt, because we aren’t in a relationship,” Gavin snapped.

“We just don’t want him tricking you into anything,” Jack explained.

“Why won’t you two listen to me!” Gavin bellowed. “We are friends, I’m allowed to have those outside of our group,”

“We know that! And we do too, but this is different, this kid fucked up, none of us like him,”

“I don’t know what to say Geoff, he’s my friend and he’s going to continue to be my friend even when you guys hate him,”

“Gavin-“

“He’s my friend,” Gavin crossed his arms over his chest and sat stubbornly, nose turned up.

“Yeah, for now! And then he does something cute and asks you to prom and you go! And then he leaves you in the middle of the dance floor alone to go hook up with some cute guy across the room,”

“I’m going to prom with Michael Geoff,”

“So even if someone else asked you, as in an actual date, you wouldn’t go with them?”

“No,” he said matter-of-factly. Geoff hummed quietly and picked his controller up, dropping the subject for now.

“So,” Jack said awkwardly. “I’m gonna go get a drink,”

He left in a flurry, door swinging shut behind him while Gavin and Geoff silently continued their game. Gavin did better, helping them score and ignoring the buzzing in his lap from his phone, Geoff smiled to himself at the small victory.

There wasn’t much talking for the remainder of their time together.

~~~

“Hey man!” Kerry cheered when Jack walked in, Taco Bell bag in hand.

“Hi,” he waved. “I was wondering if Ray had already taken his break today,”

“Not yet. He’s out back I’ll grab him,” he announced going around the counter and through the door marked _Employees only!_ He came back out moments later, Ray right behind him, small smile on his face.

“Hey,” he nodded.

“Wanna come eat these tacos with me?”

“Yeah, but shouldn’t you be at work?”

“They were overstaffed and it was Caiti or me so I told her she could get the hours and I’d see her later,”

“Whipped,” Ray muttered with a wink.

“Nah, just wanted a day off,” he smirked.

“Oh, so you’re using her,” Ray nodded.

“Definitely,” Jack rolled his eyes coming to stop at a table for two. They sat across from each other, ripping the bag open and grabbing two tacos each. Jack had a lot of things he had originally wanted to talk about, Ryan, the drugs, school, but when they were sitting so close, he couldn’t find the right way to say anything. “So…” he trailed off.

“Yeah…”

“How’ve you been?” he tried.

“I’m okay,” he shrugged.

“I know that’s not true,” Jack said seriously, eyes searching.

“I- I’ve been better,”

“It won’t last much longer,”

“You don’t know that,” Ray challenged.

“I do though, I know Ryan, and he loves you,”

“Jack, I appreciate you trying, but please don’t. It’ll only get my hopes up and then I’ll get crushed harder and harder again,”

“Ray, please listen to me. He wants you back, he just doesn’t know how to-“

“Jack,” Ray cut him off, brown eyes on fire. “I loved him with everything I had and it wasn’t enough for him. He claims that it wasn’t me, that it was him and not knowing how to love me? What the fuck ever, but, I know him too,” he sighed. “He knew that I wouldn’t be good in the long run, he couldn’t marry me and build a life around me. He doesn’t love me, but I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving him,”

“The heart wants what the heat wants,” the ginger haired boy nodded.

“And his doesn’t want me,” the younger mumbled, looking down at his taco, appetite suddenly lost.

“Ray, give him more time,”

“I’m tired of giving him time, he just wastes it,”

Jack frowned at that, but he knew there was no solid argument to give. Slowly, he lifted his taco to his mouth and took a small bite.

They didn’t speak again until Ray was announcing the end of his break and sliding out of his seat, stalking across the tiled floor to get back to his store.

~~~

“Can’t we watch a nice Disney movie or something?” Gavin asked for the third time.

“No,” Geoff declared, pushing the Brit over on the couch and sitting on his chest.

“But, Annabelle and The Conjuring are horror movies,” Ray argued, knocking the case off the coffee table.

“Yes, we are aware, that’s why we’re watching them,” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Horror movies are scary,”

“That is the point,” Geoff nodded.

“What about Cinderella?” Gavin wheezed, pushing at Geoff’s legs to get him off.

“Nope,” Geoff swatted at his hands and rooted himself. “It’s Ryan’s house, he picks the movie,”

“And I want horror,” he smirked looking Gavin dead in the eyes.

“Can Gavin and I watch Cinderella in the corner?” Ray offered moving to stand off the floor. Michael was quick to grab his wrist and pull him back down though wrapping an arm around him.

“Come on man, it won’t be so bad,” he smirked.

“I hate you,” he groaned.

Soon Geoff was sitting calmly on the couch eating from a bowl of popcorn and watching intently. Ryan was sprawled out in his recliner curled up under a blanket paying more attention to Ray and Gavin snuggled up on the floor than the movie. Michael sat quietly next to them watching from the corner of his eye as Ray wrapped an arm around Gavin and pulled him closer every time something even remotely spooky happened.

Jack sat on the couch next to Geoff, but his attention was not on the movie. He watched how tightly Ryan’s hands were wrapped around his blanket, eyes glaring at Gavin and Ray on the floor. He watched how tense Michael was, arm pressed against Ray’s hand on Gavin’s arm. Jack wasn’t even part of it, but he was worried.

The way Ryan would reach out for Ray at lunch when no one was watching, pausing in midair to draw his hand back. He saw the way Ray’s eyes lit up in these moments, thinking that maybe something more would come of it, but he was always shut down, looking back at the table and waiting for someone to bring him back into a conversation.

He felt bad. He really did. This was all so stupidly blown out of proportion; they could’ve gotten back together only days after the initial split if they weren’t so stubborn.

Jack hadn’t really gotten much out of either of them lately other than the usual ‘I miss him’ spiels, but he knew now that things were finally at the tipping point.

He would have to sit them both down soon if they wouldn’t get their heads out of their asses.

Well, he thought he would’ve, but seeing as things started coming to a head in that moment maybe not.

“Okay,” Michael announced right after Gavin jumped nearly into Ray’s lap for the fifth time. “I think the obvious reason you’re still scared is because you don’t have the right cuddle buddy. So sorry Ray but,” he rambled, wrapping his arms around Gavin’s middle and pulling him practically into his lap sending Ray a furious glare.

Jack held his breath in the silence that followed, but all Ray did was shrug and curl up pulling his knees to his chest and hugging them close.

A few more minutes passed and from the looks Geoff was sending him Jack knew he wasn’t the only one that wanted to join Ray on the floor, but the death glares Ryan was sending their way told them not to even think about it.

Ray only lasted another ten minutes on his own before he was jumping up and heading for the stairs. “I’m gonna go get some fresh air,” he announced.

“Are you gonna come back this time or go home?” Geoff smirked.

“I’ll be back in a few minutes dad,” he waved him off skipping up the stairs.

As soon as the door shut behind him Geoff hit pause on the remote and turned to Ryan. They all did.

“Yes?” he asked calmly.

“Look, we’ve given you plenty of time to fix this yourselves and clearly you’re not going to, so I’m stepping in. Go upstairs, and get your boyfriend back,”

“Geoff-“

“He’s right,” Gavin added. “You’re both fucking miserable mongs, just go apologize and be together already. You don’t want him near anyone else, you don’t want anyone else, neither does he, just make the obvious choice and figure it out,”

“Hold on,” Ryan held his hand up glaring at Michael who opened his mouth next. “Ray hates me now, there’s no way he’d take me back,”

“You don’t know that!” Michael screamed. “Pull your head out of your ass and try! You complain all the time about him and how lonely you are and how much you miss him, you fucking did this. Your life is what you make it buddy, and you’re making it hard on yourself. There is a boy upstairs that loves you more than life itself and you are just letting him get away,”

Ryan was speechless, so he turned to Jack next waiting for his input. “Well,” he started. “You’ve known since the day after that I wanted you two to get back together, and I feel that now is as good a time as any,”

“Look,” Geoff cut in, “I didn’t pull a fucking twister mat out from both of you, risking serious injury, for you to fucking ruin it,” he crossed his arms.

They were all watching Ryan silently now, waiting for him to say something, make a move, anything. They were about to give up when he threw the blanket off of himself and stood up.

“Fuck it,” he mumbled leaving his friends cheering behind him.

He took the stairs two at a time, walking into his kitchen in search of Ray. He found no sign of him there, walking through the dining room to the front door, opening it and creeping out. He looked both ways to see if he could find any signs of him but again he came up empty. He walked back inside, going into the living room and seeing that the curtain on his back door was pushed aside letting him see out on the deck. _Found him._ He smirked as he pushed the glass door open and stepped out.

He wasn’t silent, Ray obviously heard him shuffling across the wooden floor until they were standing side by side. The sky was dark and dusty above them, stars peeking through the clouds, it reminded Ryan of the glowing stars in his bedroom, the ones they’d look at late at night and make fake constellations out of, making up stories on how they got there.

“I think I get it now,” Ray whispered suddenly, not taking his eyes off the fence.

“What?” Ryan asked watching him intently, gaze almost piercing.

“Why you dumped me,” he deadpanned, ignoring Ryan’s flinch next to him. “You were always vague about it, from the start, you just said ‘It’s not working,’ then it was, ‘It meant nothing,’ and now it’s ‘I can’t love you right,’ and that’s okay,” he shrugged. “But there is one thing you need to know Rye,” he made eye contact, eyes hard, but sad. “I didn’t want you to love me _right,_ ” he spat. “I just wanted you to love me, and whether it was right or wrong I didn’t care, because you’re all I wanted. And maybe that’s why it didn’t work, because I didn’t ask you for galaxies or stars or the moon, I asked for your heart, and maybe you just weren’t ready to give it away,” he chuckled humorlessly. “It was selfish of me to ask for that,” he whispered, shaking his head when Ryan opened his mouth to protest. “Don’t be the good guy; don’t tell me it wasn’t, because once you give your heart away you can’t have it back, not fully. I think I see that now,” Ray said, eyes misting over, but he took a deep breath and looked away, blinking rapidly.

“Ray,” Ryan said exasperated causing the other to whip his head towards him. “I- I didn’t tell you the truth,” he said rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly. “Not once. You’ve had my heart since we met honestly, I was just stupid and insecure, and all those guys inside made me realize that, and I’m sorry it took me this long to work up the courage to apologize, to admit I was wrong, but Ray, I am so so wrong, and I am so so in love with you,” he breathed.

“What? I- I don’t…”

“I know, it’s confusing, but I was scared, because I realized just how much I loved you, and I was worried because we are so young, and you could do so much better, but… I don’t care anymore. Maybe we break up later down the line, but right now, I’m in love with you and I want you for as long as you’ll have me,”

“So you let me go on that stupid speech knowing the entire time that you had every intention of taking me back?” Ray asked, but there was amusement in his eyes and Ryan had never been happier.

“Well, I thought I’d let you have your moment,” he shrugged.

“You suck,” he punched weakly at the blonds shoulder, laughing.

“So… what do you say?” Ryan turned to him, arms open and ready. “Will you please love me again?” he asked throwing him a small smile.

“I never stopped dumbass,” Ray laughed launching himself into the other’s chest, arms latching tight around his neck.

“I love you so much,” Ryan whispered.

“I love you more,”

“I don’t think that’s possible at this point,”

“You’d be surprised,”

“I still want us to talk more about this, but right now let’s just go back inside and let our friends know the tension is gone,”

“Or we can fuck with them?” Ray suggested wiggling his eyebrows.

“Normally, I would, but after the lectures I just got I think they’d actually kill me,”

Ray chuckled at him and shook his head, turning to the sliding glass door and reaching out for it only to be held back by the elbow. “Wait,” Ryan whispered.

“Yes?”

“I just- I need to…” Ryan trailed off, eyes trained on the lad’s lips. Ray rolled his eyes, but pushed himself up on his toes and met him halfway.

It felt like inhaling fresh air after being underwater for ten minutes. It was like the first time they had kissed all over again, unsure of the boundaries and limits, as if they could break the other by pressing too hard.

Ryan pulled away first, leaning his forehead against Ray’s and smiling at him, face red. “I missed you,”

“I missed you too,” Ray mumbled, pressing one last kiss to Ryan’s mouth before turning and going back inside. He waited patiently at the top of the basement stairs for Ryan to catch up, making grabby hands at him and smiling when Ryan threaded their fingers together.

They crept down the stairs until the other four came into view sitting around the room; movie still paused on the TV in front of them. Gavin turned towards the stairs and noticed their hands clasped tightly between them and squealed jumping off the floor and rushing up to them.

“Are you back together?” he asked bouncing on the balls of his feet. Ray looked over at Ryan waiting for him to answer.

“Yes,” Ryan announced happily. Everyone started talking at the same time.

“It’s about god damn time,” Geoff smiled.

“Finally!”

“Proud of you!”

“So you’re going to prom together right?”

It was Gavin’s last question that made the rest of the room go silent, looking eagerly at the two of them. Ryan looked over at Ray then, nervous expression.

“Do you want to come to prom with me?” he asked shyly.

“Of course I do,” Ray breathed.

Ryan turned back to Gavin then, “yes,” he grinned.

“God, they’re so gay it hurts,” Geoff yelled falling back on the couch with a hand over his heart. Michael and Jack were quick to jump on top of him, pretending to give him CPR and pump his chest to get his heart beating again.

Gavin, Ryan and Ray ran over to them shouting at the three of them. “Harder Michael!” “Live dammit!” “Don’t you give up on me now!” until finally Geoff slapped all their hands away and rolled onto the floor rubbing his sore torso from all the pressure.

“You guys are dicks,” he muttered.

“I couldn’t let another one die on me,” Michael said seriously reaching out to take Geoff’s hand and help him sit up.

“Fuck off,” he chuckled.

Soon their excitement died down and they were back to watching their movies, Ryan and Ray curled around each other in the recliner, but they didn’t pay the TV any mind, focused completely on each other like they had to make up for all their lost time. Geoff and Jack were fully immersed in the movie, shifting slightly closer to each other every time something jumped out at them. Michael and Gavin were still sitting together on the floor in a tangle of limbs, but only Michael was watching the movie since Gavin was too busy on his phone.

_Wanna hang out tomorrow? We can go downtown and grab lunch or something?_

Caleb had been trying so hard to get Gavin to agree to see him again and Gavin knew deep down that it really wasn’t a good idea, but he felt guilty. The boy was trying so hard and Gavin wouldn’t even give him a chance, so he took a deep breath and looked around the room, making sure no one was watching when he typed back.

_Sure, but it is NOT a date._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three claps for Raywood! I've been waiting to get them back together since I broke them up tbh and I hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did.


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It felt really weird to be writing a Christmas chapter in March but I was committed.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“Alright boys, I’m trusting you to close this place up,”

“We’ll take care of it,” Geoff smiled, holding his hand out for the keys. His uncle looked at him skeptically, turning to Michael and Gavin and nodding before dropping them in his nephew’s outstretched palm.

He looked around the restaurant one more time before walking out the front door and waiting for Michael to lock it behind him. Geoff dimmed the lights and pulled his phone out of his pocket to turn on some music.

“I can’t believe it’s already Christmas,” Gavin sighed when he went to unplug the tree in the corner.

“Yeah, it really crept up on us this year,” Geoff agreed moving to grab the empty bucket in the corner and start pushing dishes in.

“We still on for tomorrow night?” Michael asked turning to follow Geoff with a bucket of silverware.

“Yeah, he’s closing up at eight and then the place is ours,” Geoff called back.

“Sweet,”

Gavin moved to start pulling table cloths down, dropping them onto the floor and waiting for Michael to come take them and give him fresh ones.

“Hey Gavvy,” the redhead greeted when he walked back out. They could hear the water in the back running; occasionally they would hear glass clanking against metal.

“Hi Michael,” he cooed.

“Excited for Christmas dinner?” he smirked.

“You know it. It’ll be nice to have everyone all together again,”

“Yeah, things finally feel… right again,”

They worked silently for the next half hour, cleaning the dining area thoroughly and moving out back to help Geoff.

“We need to portion for tomorrow, a lot of people are coming in for early lunches,” Geoff ordered pointing at the fridge.

“Not it!” Gavin and Michael cried at the same time.

“Gavin,” Geoff said seriously.

“Michael will lock me in again!”

“It was one time and I won’t let him,” Geoff huffed.

“Fine,” Gavin grumbled shuffling into the walk in, muttering a chorus of colorful words. When the door shut behind him Michael looked at Geoff evilly starting to walk towards the door.

“Don’t you dare,” he snapped.

“Whoa, what’s going on? You’ve been fine all night, why so pissy now?”

“I’ve just been thinking,” he waved him off turning back to the plastic container he was rinsing off.

“About?” Michael urged.

“Griffon,”

“And?”

Gavin chose that moment to walk back out with two large boxes of dough stacked on top of each other, the only thing the other two boys could see were the tufts of caramel hair above the cardboard.

“A little help gents?” Michael rolled his eyes and made his way to his friend, taking both boxes from him and setting them on the metal table across from the sink.

“Glove up idiots,”

Geoff finished the last of the dishes and pulled his gloves on, moving to pull dough from the box and get to work. Michael was the most help, actually working with Geoff and making sure there was enough on each pan before putting them on the rolling cart.

Gavin tried, but he was easily distracted so Geoff sent him to vacuum the front of the building until they found something else for him to do.

“I can’t clean the bathrooms, I’ll vom,” he reminded them as he stepped out.

“Yeah yeah,”

Seconds later they heard the whirring of the vacuum come to life followed by a swear and then silence. “Gavin?” Michael called out?

“All good boi!” the Brit called back. They heard footsteps and then the vacuum was back and all was well.

“Anyway…” Michael trailed off with a roll of his eyes. “Griffon?”

“I’m just worried about her gift this year ya know?”

“What did you get her?”

“Just some canvas and new paints. She’s been talking about getting low for a few weeks now.” He shrugged.

“She’ll love it,”

“I got her a nice necklace last year,”

“So? Now you got her some kick ass paints and canvas that she can use for a while and make epic art with,”

“What did you get Gavin,”

“A bunch of shit,” he shrugged. “It’s easier with us cause we aren’t having sex, but ya know. Whatever,”

“Everything but,” Geoff muttered.

“Bullshit,”

“I just don’t know what else to get her,”

“I don’t think Griffon is a materialistic girl, I’m sure anything you get her will make her happy,”

“I hope so cause it’s way too late to get her anything now,”

“I probably should’ve got my secret Santa gift already huh…”

“You’re fucked, who’d you get?”

“Ray,”

“Get him some pajamas or some shit; god knows the kid normally only wears his boxers,”

“I don’t think Ryan minds much,”

“Well fuck man I don’t know,”

“I’ll figure it out; I’m going shopping with Ryan tomorrow I think,”

“Mall is gonna be packed, good luck,”

They were almost done when the power out front went out, and they heard a thump, a shatter and a ‘shit.’

“Gavin! What the fuck!” Michael yelled.

“I’ll fix it!” he called back; he sounded like he was in pain and while Geoff should’ve been concerned he couldn’t stop himself from laughing. Michael followed soon after and they were both leaning over boxes of dough with their eyes squeezed shut and their stomachs aching. “Done!” Gavin called and the lights came back, vacuum starting again.

“What did you even do?” Geoff yelled sucking in a breath.

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Gavin answered, rolling the vacuum through the back room and into the coat closet.

“Idiot,”

~~~

“Working till close sucks ass,” Kerry said aloud after the customer finally walked out of the store with a new Xbox, Wii, PS3, and multiple video games.

“You can say that again,” Ray sighed, opening the register to sort through the mess of bills in his hands.

“I can’t believe they trusted us here alone,”

“I can, we’re the only two people here that actually enjoy video games and know how to make sales,” Ray shrugged.

“Yeah… so, any fun plans for break?”

“Just hanging with Ryan and family really,”

“Awesome! I have to go to my grandmas for the holidays,” he rolled his eyes.

“That’s not so bad; grandparents always give the best gifts,”

“True,”

The motion sensor dinged when someone walked passed and they both looked up to see Ryan walking in with a Taco Bell bag over his forearm. He stopped when he saw both boys looking at him. “Uh, hi,” he waved awkwardly.

“What are you doing here?”

“They ended up calling in like ten more people than were needed cause they thought they were gonna be busier, so I was freed,” he said stepping farther into the store. “I was hoping you had a break waiting to be taken?”

Ray looked over at Kerry with a sheepish smile. “I don’t see why not really, just stay near to store and see if it gets too busy,”

“Will do,” Ray nodded, walking around the counter and handing the bills in his hand to Kerry. He took Ryan’s hand as he passed and pulled him out of the store and to a small table for two.

Things were still tense between the two, but they were slowly building their way back up. The day after they got back together they spent the night at Ryan’s locked away in his room under the covers. When the blonde’s mom walked in she gasped at the shifting sheets and giggles but when they both popped out full clothes with a laptop on their thighs she sighed in relief.

The laughed awkwardly when she left, not sure if they should finish the movie or do something else.

They settled for talking, lights on, facing each other with their hands clasped between them. They talked about everything they had felt in their broken up period, they talked about their fears and worries and it ended with Ryan promising to never do that again. That he’d tell Ray as soon as there was a problem before making such a rash decision and letting it get to him. They shared sweet kisses and spent the night wrapped around each other.

Now they sat in front of each other eating burritos and laughing at pictures on their phones that Geoff, Michael, and Gavin had sent them of closing at the restaurant.

There was one of Gavin and Michael shoving dough in each other’s faces from Geoff. And one from Gavin of Geoff hauling Michael out of the backroom two minutes later.

“So… any plans for tomorrow before diner?” Ray asked.

“I’m going shopping with Michael; he hasn’t bought anything for his secret Santa yet,”

“He waited this long?”

“You know he’s so easily distracted,”

“Yeah, especially with Gavin existing,” he rolled his eyes.

“Always a good interruption,” Ryan laughed.

“They’re hopeless,”

“They’ll get there,” he smiled softly. “I used to think we never would,”

“I’m glad we did,” Ray reached across the table and took Ryan’s hand.

“Me too,”

They smiled stupidly at each other when Kerry caught Ray’s attention waving him over. Ray looked into the store to see about ten people wandering around looking through games and consoles.

“Gotta go,” Ray said quickly, leaning to kiss Ryan on the cheek and run back to work. He stopped short when Ryan grabbed his wrist and pulled him back.

“Come to mine after work?” he asked eyes wide.

“Of course,” Ray nodded, he made to turn again but Ryan stood up and pulled him into a kiss.

“Couldn’t let you leave without that,” he winked.

Ray walked back into the store, greeting two teenage girls that were shopping for their younger brother, with a blush on his face.

~~~

“The plot was lacking,” Caiti said putting the book back on the shelf.

“Aww what? That was an excellent book!”

“The twist was completely predictable,”

“Doesn’t mean it wasn’t good,” Jack said.

“There was no originality; it was just like Harry Potter in America,”

“Someone’s judgmental,” Jack teased.

“At least I didn’t judge the book by its cover,” she wiggled her brows and grabbed the rolling cart pushing it to the other side of the shelf.

They had been putting books back for their entire shift so far. They walked in to see a cluster of children leaving with their parents and a line that lead to the kids section of the library.

“I forgot Santa was gonna be here,” Jack whispered, letting go of his girlfriend’s hand to clock in.

“Oh great,” she muttered behind him.

There was already an entire cart full of returned books that needed to be put away, but because of all the little kids standing in line, whining about how long it was taking, their parents were reading children’s books to them, throwing them in the closest bin when they were done. The other employees were running around like crazy, gathering the books together and throwing them on the cart before moving to another section since they didn’t have time.

When Jack and Caiti walked in their boss told them they were the Christmas miracles of the library and pushed the cart towards them.

“Both of you, put all the books away and then go upstairs, I’m sure they’ve got some organizing that needs to be done,”

They both nodded and got to work pushing the cart into the science fiction section first. They each took a handful and split up, sliding them back in their spots and talking about the ones they had read giving short summaries and reviews.

Now they were in the young adult section of the downstairs, nearly deserted because what teenager is going to spend Christmas Eve at the local library? There was mistletoe hanging from a thin wire on the ceiling, Caiti made sure no one was looking before getting on the tips of her toes and kissing Jack on the cheek. She took a stack of books off the cart and ran around the shelf in the middle of the area before he could react.

She stuck her tongue out at him from the other side, shoving a book in the slot before Jack could make a face back.

He took a step to his right and put one on the bottom shelf, jumping when the book at his eye level disappeared and his girlfriend was there again, winking before putting it back. Two more steps to the right, she did it again.

Jack smirked and walked all the way to the left, quickly before she could catch him. He waited for her to move the next book and find him missing before shrugging and turning back to the cart. He shuffled up behind her and just when she picked up the first Harry Potter book to slide it in place he wrapped both his arms around her and picked her up.

She squealed when he did but no one was around to hear it over the sound of crying, laughing and screaming children around the corner. She was full on laughing now, holding her hands over his and tucking her feet in so they wouldn’t swing into the other shelves.

When he finally set her down she turned around in his arms and grinned. “You scared the crap out of me,”

“You were being cheeky,” he smiled, leaning in to kiss her, but just before he could he heard a thump and turned to see a small girl looking at them with her eyes wide, there was an open book on the floor next to her.

“Hello,” Caiti said stepping away from Jack, cheeks bright red.

“Are you lost?” Jack asked taking a step forward.

The little girl just shook her head at them, brown hair swinging around her, and turned to run out of the area.

“We should probably get out of here,” Jack said rubbing the back of his neck. “What if she tells her mom and they come searching and we get yelled at for taking her kids innocence,” he smiled. 

“Are we done here?” she asked looking down at the cart.

“Almost,” Jack said dropping a hand on her shoulder and turning her back around. Before she could say a word he was leaning down and kissing her. She smiled against his mouth, a full grin that made both of them pull apart laughing. “Now we’re done here,” he said reaching for the cart and pushing it out of the young adult section.

~~~

“Hello beautiful,” Geoff greeted Griffon, ignoring the glare her boss sent him. “I’m not staying long!” he called out, handing Griffon the bouquet of red tulips he was holding.

“What are you doing here?” she grinned taking the flowers and leaning up to kiss him.

“I don’t work until one, so I thought I’d come see my beautiful girlfriend,”

“You’re seeing me later tonight,” she rolled her eyes.

“Once a day is never enough,”

It was true, for him at least, if he went more than five hours without seeing or talking to her he started twitching, he swears! He was yelled at by his uncle almost every time he worked because he’d turn the corner to find Geoff hunched over his phone, thumps tapping away. On weekends he tried going to her house or meeting her after week every day, even for a few minutes to look at the girl and bask in her beauty.

“You’re such a goob,”

She knew how he felt not that she’d ever admit it. When they were at school it was easy because she’d walk out of her classes to find him leaning against the wall waiting. She’d ask how he got there so fast, or if he had just bailed on the last five minutes of class, but he’d never tell her. On weekends she’d wait by her window for Geoff’s car to pull up across the street before turning her bedroom light off and creeping down the stairs. When she’d open the door he’d already be waiting with a smirk, wiggling his eyebrows when she pulled him inside and planted her lips on his.

“You love me,” he grinned. “Busy?” he asked then looking around the antique store.

“There are some people looking in the back but not really,” she shrugged. “I’ve been cleaning and organizing all day,” she sounded exhausted and Geoff felt bad but with her boss watching him so closely there was nothing he could do.

“What if I fake a heart attack?” he offered. Griffon just rolled her eyes and started pushing him in the direction of the door.

“Out with you,” she laughed. “I’ll see you at eight,” she smiled.

“Love you,” he puckered his lips and looked at her expectantly.

“Love you too,” she said quickly, pecking him and turning to her boss with an apologetic look.

“Cute,” the old man said, spraying a display case down and wiping it with a rag.

“Oh shut up old man,” his wife said from across the room. “They’re in love,” she grinned. Griffon just laughed and brought the tulips to her nose.

~~~

“And done!” Geoff shouted, flipping the ‘Open’ sign over to ‘Closed.’ He turned to his uncle and smiled up at him waiting for his next direction.

“Go clean yourself up, I’ve got it from here,”

“You sure?”

“Yeah, just a couple pizza’s right?” he asked. Geoff nodded and turned to walk into the farthest corner of the restaurant where his friends were all waiting for him.

“Everything is all set,” he clapped his hands together. “Where are Gav and Michael?”

“They went to change,” Caiti answered taking a sip from her water.

“Right, I think I’m gonna go freshen up too,” he answered walking into the back room for employees. He found Michael and Gavin facing each other awkwardly, shirtless. “Uh…” he greeted.

“Geoff!” Gavin squeaked.

“You guys okay?”

“Yeah, I was just showing Gavin the sweaters I got for us,” Michael grinned, face red. He was holding two sweaters in his hands, one red and one blue, both had Christmas trees on them with snowflakes scattered around.

“Cute,” he mused, grabbing his bag off one of the hooks and moving to go to the bathroom. “Put some clothes on quickly,” he called back, loud enough so that everyone else could hear.

“Are they banging?” Ray asked, and then there was a thump and an ‘Ow Ryan!’ then silence.

“Shut up!” Michael called back. He turned to Gavin then and handed him the red sweater. “I think this one will look better on you,” he smiled.

“Thanks boi,” Gavin said ripping the sweater from his friend’s hand and pulling it over his head. Michael quickly pulled the blue one on, reaching into his bag for a black beanie and tugging it down on his head.

“Ready?” he asked.

“I have to change my shoes; you don’t have to wait for me Michael,”

“I don’t mind,”

“It’s literally two feet away,”

“Why are you trying to get rid of me?” Michael asked, placing a hand over his heart and pretending to be offended.

“I’m not,”

“Just change your shoes,”

Gavin did as he’s told and soon they were both packing the rest of their things up and making their way out of the room, but just before they did Michael’s hand slipped into Gavin’s only for a moment, squeezing and then it disappeared all together. Gavin didn’t even have time to look over at him before Griffon was calling their name and patting the seat next to her.

“Merry Christmas Eve!” Gavin cheered taking his seat across from Ray.

They made small talk while they waited for Geoff’s uncle to finish cooking their pizzas; they talked about going back to school, what they wanted for Christmas, what they got their parents and when they’d all be exchanging gifts.

“But it’s supposed to rain the day after Christmas,”

“So? We can drive in the rain,”

“It’s not Christmas-y though,”

“If we wait for it to be Christmas-y it will be another five years,” Michael rolled his eyes. Gavin just pouted at him and reached for his water.

“Are you all coming to mine for New Years?” Jack asked suddenly, looking around the table, eyes stopping on Caiti.

“It’s tradition, why would you even ask?” Geoff asked offended.

“I just wanted to make sure,” he held his hands up.

“Hell yeah we’ll be there,”

“I invited Meg, Barbara and Lindsay too, so they might stop by,”

“Sweet,” Ray answered. He wasn’t talking to Jack though; he was speaking to Geoff’s uncle who chose that moment to walk towards them with two large pizzas.

“I have one more out back,” he said turning on his heel and walking away. When he came back he set the pizza in front of Geoff and set the keys down next to it. Geoff looked up at him curiously but he only shrugged and said, “I’m tired, clean up after yourselves,”

Geoff just shrugged and nodded at him, waving goodbye as he went to gather his things. He left shortly after, dimming the lights of the section they were in and disappearing out the back door.

“Time to party!” Ray yelled throwing a fist in the air.

“With what?”

“I know!” Griffon stood and walked over to her bag riffling through it until she came up with her blue tooth speakers. “I forgot I brought these,” she smiled setting them on a table in the corner and hooking her phone up. Soon _The 1975_ was drifting throughout the room. “C’mon,” she giggled, reaching for Geoff’s hands and yanking him out of his seat.

“I don’t dance,”

“If you love me you do,”

“Fuck,” Geoff sighed, starting to follow her movements. He heard laughter behind him and turned to see Gavin and Ray both holding their phones up, wide grins on their faces.

“That better not be going anywhere public,” he threatened pointing at them and glaring.

“It’s only going on my snapchat story,” Gavin said nonchalantly.

“No, it is not,” he said stepping towards him, but Griffon’s hands wrapping around his neck and turning him towards her to plant a kiss on his lips calmed him down.

“All of you! Dancing, now!” she called after, pointing at Jack and Caiti first. They looked at each other with grins and shrugged, grabbing each other’s hands and moving over to their friends between tables.

“Come on you fucks!” Geoff yelled at the rest of them.

“Not a chance!” Ryan flipped him off.

“Aren’t gay guys supposed to love dancing?” Jack asked pointedly looking at the four.

“I’m not gay, but I hate dancing,” Michael shrugged.

“Let’s just do it,” Ray shrugged. When Michael and Ryan both shook their heads Ray just rolled his eyes and reached for Gavin’s hand across the table nodding over to their friends. Gavin smirked and followed him.

The six danced for three upbeat songs, jumping around and throwing their hands in the air. Gavin and Geoff ended up bumping their hips together for half of one before Geoff hit him too hard and he went stumbling into a chair at the table over. Griffon laughed at the two but went to make sure the Brit was okay, putting her hands on his shoulders and swaying his hips.

Soon there was a slow song playing, a song about kissing slowly by _Parachute_ and Geoff was back, whisking his girlfriend away. Gavin felt a tap on his shoulder and turned to see Ray bowing before him with his hand out.

“May I have this dance?” he asked in his best British accent.

“Of course,” Gavin answered trying to sound American.

“Not happening,” Ryan’s voice cut in followed by the blond appearing to wrap an arm around his boyfriend and shoo Gavin away.

“Oh, now you want to dance with me. When I’m in the arms of another,”

He just shook his head and pulled Ray closer muttering so only he could hear, “I fucked up and lost you once, I’m not doing it again,” Ray’s face turned bright red so he was quick to bury it in his boyfriend’s neck and sway with him.

Gavin had turned away from them to return to Michael and their food but he found that the redhead was no longer sitting in his seat; instead he was tugging his beanie down on his head and dusting his sweater off while he walked over to him. Gavin stared at him questioningly, eyebrows shooting up when Michael smiled sheepishly and held his hand out.

“Wanna dance boi?” Gavin just wrapped his hand around the other’s much larger one and let him be pulled close. Michael wrapped one arm around Gavin and used the other to hold his hand up as if they were waltzing and started moving along with the music. Gavin was too giddy to look at the other boy, keeping his eyes focused on Michael’s black sneakers stepping back and forth below them.

They heard a quiet ‘aw’ next to them and turned to see Geoff and Griffon standing close, eyes on them. Gavin’s eyes narrowed at them, silently telling them to turn away before looking up at his dancing partner finally to find him chuckling at the couple. He looked back at Gavin, laughter stopping abruptly when their eyes met. Gavin swore he heard him suck in a breath.

They stopped moving, just stared at each other waiting for the other to do or say something, but before either could the song was ending and a fast song with a booming bass began playing. They stepped away from each other as if burned, Gavin linking his hands together and pulling them apart repeatedly while Michael rubbed the back of his neck.

Griffon and Geoff who had never stopped watching stepped back watching the two with raised brows and gaping mouths. It was Griffon that took pity on them eventually, grabbing Michael’s hand and tugging him over to Geoff and her, sandwiching him between them.

Gavin found his way in front of Ray swinging his arms around and moving his hips in circles while the other boy laughed. Gavin was surprised to feel hands on his hips in the middle of the song, turning to find Caiti grinning at him.

“Aye!” he cheered wrapping an arm around her. Jack had made his way over to Michael, Geoff and Griffon, waving his hands wildly and bouncing on the balls of his feel.

When another slow song came on they all stepped away and turned to find partners again, only this time no one was with who they used to be with. Griffon grabbed Ray and held him close to her chest leading. Ryan and Jack ran into each other’s arms pretending they were long lost lovers while Michael offered an arm to Caiti making sure to keep plenty of distance between them while they shuffled around the room. Gavin soon found himself wrapped up with Geoff while the other led him around the room dramatically until they had their own corner.

“How have you been?”

“Fine? You see me every day,”

“I know, I just mean, how are things with Michael?”

“He’s my best friend?” Gavin said slowly still confused.

“How’s your heart, Gav?” Geoff sighed finally.

“Beating and full of blood,” he deadpanned.

“Gavin,”

“Geoff, I’m honestly tired of having this conversation with everyone. I get it. I’m in love with a straight boy. I’m gonna be okay,”

“Okay,” Geoff nodded, “I’m sorry,”

“Not your fault,” Gavin shrugged, pulling the other in for a hug.

“Doesn’t mean I can’t be worried,”

“Calm down dad,”

“I don’t know how my girlfriend would feel about you calling me Daddy,” he teased.

“What? Is that her special name for you?”

“Shut up,”

Gavin just threw his head back and laughed as the song changed again.

~~~

“You guys are a bunch of dicks,” Geoff huffed holding the mustache wax up to his face and glaring at Jack. “And why are you always my secret Santa?”

“Shut up and open the rest of your presents,” the ginger haired man said shoving the bag in his lap. Geoff rolled his eyes and pulled the tissue paper away, revealing a box of condoms wrapped in a silky blue tie.

“Asshole,” he blushed, the other boys ‘oooed’ at him pointing at his embarrassed face.

“It’s for prom; I figured Griffon would be wearing black so blue goes nicely,”

“Whatever, open your presents now,”

“We will,” Ryan nodded reaching for his gifts. He pulled the black bag onto his lap and pulled out a white t-shirt with a large rainbow flag across the center. In big black letters it read “I’m Gay!” He just rolled his eyes and looked back in the bag, face going bright red at the small square box and clear bottle lying at the bottom.

“What else is it Ryan?” Geoff asked smirking.

“Nothing,” he said quickly shoving the shirt back in the bag and setting it on the floor.

“There’s something else,” the eldest sang, nudging the bag back towards him with his foot.

“What is it?” Gavin asked leaning forward. Ryan sighed and reached down to the bottom of the bag and gathered the last two items, he tossed them on the table so everyone else could see, cherry flavored lube and a box of glow in the dark condoms. No one looked at Ryan after seeing these, no, they looked at Ray who was now leaning back in his seat, hugging his knees to his chest, face red.

“Your turn Jack!” Ryan said suddenly sweeping the lube and condoms back into his bag and tossing it aside.

“Yay,” Jack said happily. He pulled the black wrapped box with his name on it into his lap and started tearing into it. He laughed when he opened it to find an electric razor and shaving cream.

“I figured since you actually shave,” Gavin started turning to Geoff with a smug smile, “that it would be useful,”

“God, I’m leaving,” Geoff announced standing up only to be pulled back down by Michael and Ryan on either side of him.

“Come on, you know we love you,” Ray said throwing a handful of gummy bears at him.

“I’m getting more hot chocolate,” he mumbled standing and grabbing his cup. “Gav, you want a refill?” he asked. The Brit nodded and handed his mug over, snuggling back into Jack sitting next to him.

“Hurry up the girls will be here soon and we gotta get this shit over with!” Michael called after him.

“If they don’t get caught in the rain,” Ryan commented looking out the small rectangular window at the top of the basement wall. They couldn’t see much, but the window was still covered in drops of rain and they could hear the pitter patter of it slamming down on the porch.

“Yeah yeah,” Geoff said waving his hand over his head without looking back.

“I think we went too far,” Ray whispered when he left.

“Nah, he’ll get over it when he grows a beard,” Jack shrugged earning a groan from Gavin after jostling him. “Sorry,” he laughed.

Geoff returned a few minutes later with two mugs full of hot chocolate and a bag of marshmallows squished under his arm. He set the cups down and threw the marshmallows at Ryan’s face, the blond just shrugged and ripped them open popping two in his mouth, taking his seat between the two again and turning to Michael. “Your turn,”

Gavin passed the black gift with his name on it in silver sharpie over to him, watching while he ripped it apart and pulled out the new red beanie and poster of Link. “Dude sweet,” he said pulling the beanie down on his head and smoothing out the curved corners of the poster.

“Thank god,” Ray said then, flopping back with a hand over his heart. “You’re so much harder to shop for then people actually think,”

“What? It’s not hard at all,” Gavin laughed.

“Cause you’re banging,” the youngest muttered crossing his arms over his chest.

“That is false,” Michael said holding up a finger.

“Okay! Well, its Gavin’s turn,” Jack said clapping his hands together.

Gavin had been excited to figure out who his secret Santa was and now that they were down to it he knew that it was either Michael or Ryan, but when he opened his gift to find three pairs of silky boxers he knew they weren’t from Michael. He looked up at Ryan with a brow raised, wiggling it when the blond shrugged.

“They seemed festive,” was all he said. It was true; they were red, green and silver shining under the lights of Geoff’s basement.

“You can wear them for your next boyfriend,” Ray pointed out.

“And you and Ryan can use those condoms and lube tonight!”

“Nope!” Geoff yelled, “not here, not tonight, go home for that shit,”

“Ray’s turn!” Michael cut in suddenly looking at the youngest of the group and shoving a bag at him. Gavin turned to look at the redhead, wondering why his face was bright red. “Obviously it’s from me,”

“Spoiler,” he cried tearing the tissue paper away and pulling out a pair of cotton bottoms with Tetris blocks all over them, under that was a t-shirt with more blocks scattered over it.

“I figured that Gavin started the Tetris thing last year so I’d continue you. Next year’s secret Santa better keep it up,” he warned.

“These look comfy as fuck, I’m putting them on,” Ray announced standing up and dropping his pants without another word.

“What the fuck is wrong with you guys?” Geoff laughed pretending to shield his eyes, reaching over to cover Ryan’s as well. The blond only rolled his eyes and wrapped his hand around Geoff’s wrist, pulling it down.

“Shouldn’t I be the one covering your eyes seeing as he is _my_ boyfriend,”

“Alright calm down,” Geoff said holding his hands up.

“I’m hot as fuck,” they turned to see Ray standing in the middle of the room in his new pajamas fingers held up to look like little guns pointed at Gavin.

“All of you that got clothes, put them on,” Geoff declared looking pointedly at Ryan. The blond just narrowed his eyes but pulled it out anyway, tugging his grey shirt over his head and pulling the white one on. He turned to look at Gavin after, watching patiently.

“Why would I bother? I’ve got pajamas on,” the Brit told him avoiding eye contact.

“I dare you to just wear your boxers for the rest of the night,”

“The girls are coming over!” he squawked.

“So? You’re gay; they’re in relationships, who cares?” Ryan asked looking around the room, waiting for an objection.

“Peer pressure!” Jack cheered.

“I-“

“Just do it!”

“Which pair?” Gavin asked defeated.

“Red ones,” Ray decided.

“I’ll be right back,” he mumbled standing up.

“Why not just stay here?” Geoff teased. “Everyone else changed in the open,”

“That’s cause their outfit changes allowed them to keep their underwear on,” Gavin flipped him off and left the room.

“Should we make him answer the door when the girls get here?”

“Absolutely,” Geoff nodded.

As it turned out they didn’t need to send Gavin back up when the girls came cause he was still in the middle of changing when they showed up. He threw the boxers on and sauntered over to the door, opening it just enough so only his head could be seen. “Come in,” he said awkwardly, “but know, that I’m only in boxers,”

“And why is that?” Griffon asked pushing the door open wider and sliding in shaking her head and letting water droplets fly off of her. Caiti trailed behind, coat completely drenched. Gavin shut the door behind them and turned around.

“Ryan dared me too,” he answered.

“Ah,” Griffon laughed.

They filled each other in on their Christmases while they walked down the stairs, calling out their greetings while everyone else stood to say hi. Caiti’s feet had just hit the basement floor when it went dark and there was a yelp as Gavin tripped over the corner of the rug and tumbled down.

“No one move,” Geoff ordered. There was rustling and then a bright light was flickering on from his hand. “Gav, you good? Boxers still on?” he asked earning a chuckle from everyone else.

“Yeah,” the other said, but he sounded like he was in pain and when Geoff finally flashed his light over to the other he sound him lying in a heap, his pants and old boxers in a pile next to his head and his arm had a long scrape, a few drops of blood starting to appear.

“God dammit,” Michael laughed.

“I’m gonna go upstairs and get some candles and shit,” the eldest announced. “Griffon, wanna come with?”

“Sure,” and then they were off up the stairs.

Ray pulled his phone from his pocket as well and turned his light on standing to make his way over to Gavin but he stubbed his toe on the coffee table and took a minute to put pressure on it yelling out an assortment of swears.

“That’s two lads down,” Jack cackled, “Michael, don’t move,”

“Not planning on it,” the redhead answered burrowing into the couch. “Gav, come here,” he demanded patting the cushion next to him. Gavin only groaned in response, unmoving.

“You sure you’re good?” Jack asked pulling his phone out and finding his way to his girlfriend in the darkness.

“I’m okay,” he answered, rolling himself over and crawling his way over to the couch. Michael reached down for him when he got close enough, tugging him onto the couch and wrapping him up in his blanket. He forgot Gavin was only in his boxers now so when Michael’s hand accidentally skimmed Gavin’s bare thigh he froze, hand lingering a second too long.

“Alright boi?” Gavin asked looking at the redhead suspiciously, hand knocking into the others.

“Yeah,” Michael answered, wrapping his hand around Gavin’s and pulling them into his lap so he wouldn’t think about Gavin’s barely covered bottom half.

The door was opening a few minutes later, Geoff and Griffon walking down the stairs with their arms full. They laid the candles down on the table and set them in a circle, lighting them as they went. Soon they were able to see everyone else’s faces sitting quietly.

“Board game?” Geoff offered. Everyone else only groaned though shaking their heads.

“Let’s just… snuggle,” Griffon decided with a nod.

“Works for me,” Ray mumbled sticking his cold feet under Ryan’s thigh causing the other to jump and shove his hands under the blankets to grab the boy’s ankles.

“Christ Ray,” he mumbled.

“Warm me,”

“What’s the magic word?”

“Warm me,” Ray pouted.

“Fine,” the blond rolled his eyes, tugging his boyfriend into his lap.

“You guys are cute,” Caiti smiled, pulling a marshmallow out of the abandoned bag and popping it into her mouth. She picked another one up and heard an ‘ah’ sound turning to find Jack with his mouth open, eyes wide. She grinned at him and dropped the treat into his mouth.

“You guys are sickening,” Geoff called at the two, laughing when Griffon swatted his arm.

“You guys give me cavities,” Ryan said monotonously.

“Are we just gonna compliment and insult each other now?” Michael asked laughing.

“We got nothing better to do,” Geoff shrugged.

“When’s the last time you charged your computer?” Michael asked.

“Last night,”

“So put a movie on, we’ll watch until it dies,” he suggested looking around the room for objections.

“I’ll go get it, Griffon come with me,”

“It doesn’t take two people to get a computer from your room,”

“It does when the rest of the house is dark as dicks. I’ve seen the horror movies I know how this goes. I go to get my computer and I either get murdered on the stairs or you’re all dead when I get back. Buddy system,” he explained grabbing his girlfriend’s hand and tugging her after him.

He pulled his phone back out using the flashlight to navigate through the room until they were back up stairs, walking through his dining room and kitchen before getting to the stairs. They took them two at a time and when they were finally in his room he closed the door and smiled sheepishly.

“I really just wanted a minute alone with you,”

“We were alone when we got the candles,” she pointed out.

“Yeah but everyone was freaking out downstairs so we had to be quick. Now, I can take my time,” he whispered gripping her hips and stepping back, pulling her with him.

“We still have to be quick because now we have a bunch of bored teenagers that _will_ come looking,”

“I wanna give you your gift though,” he pouted.

“You just said you wanted some alone time,”

“Why not do both?”

Griffon looked between his eyes and lips a few more times, making her final decision, but by the time she had decided that yes she’d give him a few minutes his lips were already covering hers. She didn’t kiss him back at first which only prompted him to try harder, biting her lip for a reaction. She grinned and started moving, hands running up and down his arms.

“Grif,” he said suddenly, reaching up to grab her hands. “You’ll only make it harder for me to stop,” he whispered against her neck.

“I’d say you don’t have to, but we don’t have enough time,” she sighed, placing her hand on his chest and pushing him back gently. “Here,” she said reaching into her back pocket and pulling out a folded piece of paper.

Geoff took it slowly, looking at her with curiosity. He unfolded it to find a bunch of pencil doodles scattered across the page, there was a crescent moon, a lightning bolt, a crown, an arrow and a bunch of other little pictures and in the center was _Free Tattoo!_

“You said a while ago that your mom was gonna take you to get your first tattoo over February break so I talked to her and we agreed that I could design and pay for it,”

“You’ll design it too?” he asked, face lighting up.

“Of course, anything you want,” she grinned.

“I’ll think about it and get back to you,” he said pecking her on the lips.

“Sure, text me whenever and I’ll make something for you. Also, your other gift is downstairs, I didn’t know we’d be doing this now,” she giggled.

“That’s fine, I’ll get yours,” he said stepping around her towards his closet. He slid the door open and pulled out the blue bag and two wrapped black squares, handing them to her.

“Geoff,” she said when she opened the bag to find a set of new acrylic paints. “These are awesome, I actually ran out a few nights ago making Caiti’s gift,”

“Then I’m glad I got these in time,” he said handing her the two square gifts, smiling when she opened them to find blank canvas. “I know you don’t just paint freely all too much anymore, but I don’t know,” he trailed off.

“Geoff these are sick, thank you,” she pecked him.

“Merry Christmas,”

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

~~~

The computer made it through one and a half movies before it died and they were left bored out of their minds. Griffon had called her parents a long time ago requesting to stay the night, looking shocked when they actually said yes because they didn’t want her out in the rain. Caiti called her host family and was surprised to get the same answer as her best friend so they were in the clear.

The time on Geoff’s dying phone told them it was a little after ten o’clock so he decided to set it aside and go to sleep. Griffon had already given him her second gift, a rainbow belt with a picture of a cat on the buckle; he promised he’d wear it every day.

“Goodnight,” Geoff called pulling the blanket up over him and Griffon pecking her lips one, two, three times before wrapping his arms around her and squeezing her against his chest.

“Night,” Caiti called, putting her hand on Jack’s arm before he could wrap them up and lay down as well. “I wanna give you your gifts,”

“Okay, we can go to the living room,” he whispered slipping out.

“Don’t take too long, everyone will think you’re banging,” Geoff called out bitterly, earning a laugh from Michael who had gone searching for them earlier, finding them wrapped up in each other and kissing in the middle of Geoff’s bedroom, new presents lying on the bed behind them.

“It doesn’t take fifteen minutes to pick up a laptop and bring it downstairs,” the redhead said back earning a middle finger from both Geoff and Griffon.

“We’ll be quick,” Caiti rolled her eyes.

“Oh, I’m sure Jack’s quick,” Ray muttered loud enough for all to hear.

“Shut the fuck up,” the ginger laughed taking Caiti’s hand and leaving.

When they were in Geoff’s living room alone, they had to use their phones to locate a lighter since the boy’s parents had gone to bed long ago and blew all the candles out on the way.

Once they were sitting on the couch with only one candle to see by Caiti handed Jack a box. He opened it and started laughing immediately trying to be quiet. There was a small yellow book titled _Idiots Guide to all things Australian._ Under that were two bracelets, one was a silver chain and the other was faux leather, each had plastic letters attached to them. Jack pulled out the silver chain first seeing the word _His,_ he looked up at Caiti and saw her blush looking away.

“I thought it was too soon for real jewelry and these were just really cute so I figured I get them. If you don’t like them I can-“ she rambled, but Jack just put both his hands on her shoulders and rubbed up and down a few times, kissing her on the forehead.

“They’re adorable, _you’re_ adorable,” he answered. He took her hand and pulled it towards him, clasping the small chain around her wrist and running his thumb along her hand a few times. He took the other bracelet out, _Hers_ it read, and wrapped it around his own wrist, snapping it on the button.

“I had some help with yours,” he admitted handing a large bag over to her, her eyes widened when she looked at it, taking it and setting it down next to her.

“Griffon?” she asked when she pulled out the flower printed pants and white blouse.

“Yeah,” he said rubbing the back of his neck.

“At least I have something new to wear on our next date,” she grinned.

“You like it?”

“It’s adorable; your fashion sense is impeccable,”

“Griffon hel-“

“Shhh, nope,” she interrupted putting her pointer finger to his lips.

“Merry Christmas, Caiti,”

“Merry Christmas Jack,” she leaned across the table and blew out the candle leaving them in darkness.

“How’re we gonna see-“ he was cut off when Caiti’s hands grasped his face and pulled him towards her.

They kissed slowly, softly; hands wrapped around each other, until Ray pushed the basement door open and stuck his head out looking pointedly at them. “Mhm,” he hummed, leaving the door open and walking down the hall to the bathroom.

“We should get back down there,” Jack said reaching for his phone only to find it dead.

“I got it,” Caiti laughed pulling hers out and using it to illuminate the way.

~~~

“Are you still awake?” Ray whispered after checking his phone for the fifth time in ten seconds, it was still _3:22_ in the morning much to his dismay. He had been listening to nothing but the rain outside and the snoring of his friends around the room for a few hours now and he was about to lose his mind.

“Yeah,” Ryan answered.

“Wait what?” Ray jumped.

“I’m up,”

“So you’ve just been watching me toss and turn and try to sleep for the last like four hours?” he hissed.

“You’re cute,” the blond shrugged.

“You could’ve at least _tried_ to entertain me,”

“Where would the fun in that be?”

“Getting to kiss your boyfriend?” Ray said as if it were obvious. When Ryan really thought about it he figured it kind of was.

“Good point,” he whispered, leaning forward to kiss the back of Ray’s neck, smirking when he shivered.

“Well not now, now I’m mad at you,”

“You are not,” Ryan argued.

“Oh I sure as hell am,” Ray said, freezing when he felt a hand on his hip, starting to creep under his shirt.

“You aren’t really though,”

“Ryan,” he deadpanned. “Don’t you dare,”

“I’m not doing anything,” he said, fingers drifting along the other’s warm skin.

“You’re gonna start tickling me and I’m gonna laugh really loud and wake everyone up,” he snapped.

“Then stop being mad at me,” he murmured.

“Entertain me, I can’t sleep,”

“Stop whining and turn around then,”

Ray did as he was told rolling over in his boyfriend’s arms and squinting when he realized how close they were. Ryan didn’t let him back up though, leaning forward to rub his nose against Ray’s quickly.

“The fuck was that?” the other giggled, reaching up to scratch his nose.

“An Eskimo kiss,”

“Since when are you into that weird shit,”

“It’s not weird, it’s fucking cute as shit,”

“You are something else,” Ray shook his head.

Ryan just smirked and leaned in capturing Ray’s lips with his and kissing him deeply. With nothing but the rain to listen to and only a single candle on the table to see by they felt at ease, there was no awkward tension of a new (old) relationship or friends cracking jokes about them. It was just Ray and Ryan, lips pressed together and bodies huddled close. Ray giggled against his boyfriend’s lips, bringing his bare feet up and running them along Ryan’s calf, laughing when the other jolted and pulled away.

“God damn, wear socks,”

“Warm me,”

“Not this again,”

“I’m kidding, come on I have an idea,” Ray sat up and pushed the blankets away, grabbing Ryan’s hand and tugging him up.

“Where are we going?”

“We are going to exchange gifts now,” Ray answered moving to his bag and pulling a red bag out. Ryan just nodded and moved to the staircase, finding Ray’s rectangular box wrapped in green paper and starting to creep up the stairs.

They didn’t bother with candles, just setting their phones face down with the flashlights on. When they curled up on the couch Ray pulled the small throw down over their shoulders and huddled closer.

“I didn’t really know what to get you so I grabbed the first few things I saw and-“

“Shhhh,” Ray said holding a finger up to his lips. “If it’s from you it’s perfect,”

“Doubt it,”

“Sour puss, how about you go first then?”

“What difference would it make?”

“Well what if you think you’re giving me shit gifts and then you see what I got you and you realize yours are way better,”

“Let’s do that,”

“Here then,”

Ryan loved his presents, and he’d never say it but he was so glad that Ray didn’t go all out on him either. He was also glad that Ray had given him a nice warm sweatshirt because he was freezing with only a small blanket. He tugged it on and zipped it to his chin, smiling at his lad. He peeled open the package of glow in the dark stars next looking at Ray quizzically.

“I figured you could use those to cover the rest of your ceiling,”

“I’ll have about ten extra,” he estimated looking through the different colors and sizes.

“We could go put some in Geoff’s room,”

“After you open your gifts,”

Ray rolled his eyes and opened his, grinning at the fresh checkered vans and little booklet underneath. Each paper had an _I owe you one free _____ and were filled with everything from _dinner_ to _kiss_ and each had Ryan’s signature at the bottom. The front was labeled _Coupon Book_ with hearts all around it.

“This is so cute,” Ray cooed, flipping through the book a few more times and looking at the drawings on each.

“Shut up,”

“No, this is perfect,” he laughed.

“I’m taking you to dinner next week,”

“You take me every week,”

“I’m trying to be a decent boyfriend!” he defended.

“You’ve always been a decent boyfriend. You don’t need to waste money on me,”

“So you don’t like our late night Taco Bell runs?”

“I love them, but let me pay sometimes,”

“Yeah, sure,” Ray knew better than to try fighting with him so he just rolled his eyes and leaned forward to kiss his boyfriend shortly.

 _Short_ quickly turned into long as Ryan wrapped his arms around Ray and pulled him into his lap. They kissed languidly, hands resting on shoulders and fingers skimming stomachs. Ray’s lips left Ryan’s long enough for him to put his hands on the hem of Ryan’s shirt, unmoving. Ryan stilled then, pulling back and giving Ray a stern look, “not on Geoff’s couch,”

“I wasn’t suggesting anything like that!” Ray squeaked pushing back.

“Uh huh,”

“Whatever, let’s go fuck up Geoff’s room,”

“Turn your flash light off, his parents left their door open,”

They engulfed themselves in darkness and felt for each other’s hand not picking their feet up off the ground so they wouldn’t trip on anything. Ryan stubbed his toe on the bottom step and took a minute, biting his lip and breathing deeply before lifting it and starting his slow journey up the stairs.

Ryan almost laughed, he felt like he was sneaking in after a party, exhausted from yelling, dancing, talking, Ray’s hand in his being pulled from behind. He hadn’t had to do that in months so it felt like it was the first time. Luckily it wasn’t his house and Geoff’s parents were heavy sleepers.

“I’ll hide some in his closet,” Ray said taking two and grabbing the small circles of putty, sliding the door open and pushing himself in against all the clothes and hangers. He ended up standing in a cardboard box full of old legos and books. Things were digging into his legs, no doubt leaving little scratches and bruises, but he found it was harder to get out than it had been to fall in. He gave up on freedom until he had stuck the stars to the walls of the closet and Ryan was whispering his name, getting closer with every second.

“Really?” he asked when he slid the door open.

“Don’t act surprised, I’m sure you heard it happen,”

“I actually didn’t, and that’s surprising,” he laughed. From where he was standing Ray could see a few stars around the room, two on the drawers of Geoff’s dresser, one on his night stand and a few along his bed frame.

“Nice,” he commented reaching for Ryan. “Help me, it hurts,”

“Aw, my baby,”

“I’m not calling you daddy,” Ray deadpanned swatting Ryan’s shoulder when he lost his shit. “Fucking help,” he whined. Ryan just shook his head and dropped his hands to his boyfriend’s waist, lifting him out of the box and closet in one swift move. “Did I ever tell you I’m glad you’re strong?”

“You don’t need to tell me, I just know,” he winked.

“Oh my God, I’m going to bed,”

They both chuckled quietly to themselves, making their way out of their friend’s bedroom and down the stairs into the entryway slowly.

When they made it back to the basement they set their new gifts down by their bags and crawled back into their recliner, wrapping around each other to get comfortable.

~~~

It wasn’t the pouring rain or thunder that woke Gavin up, nor was it Michael’s vice like grip on his torso. Gavin’s eyes snapped open at three in the morning to find his phone lit up on his nightstand, vibrating loudly against the wooden table.

He reached for it, blinking away the tears that came when the light blinded him and slid it to answer without looking at who was calling.

“Hello?” he said voice groggy.

“Gavin? Are you home?” a light voice answered. They sounded far away, something was pounding against something else in the background and when there was thunder outside and directly in Gavin’s ear he knew they were outside.

“Caleb?” he whispered, pulling his phone from his ear to check.

“Yeah, are you home?”

“Yes, are you also at my home?” he asked, flinging the covers back and prying himself out of Michael’s arms.

“Yes, come outside,”

“Caleb, it’s raining,”

“So? I wanna give you your present,”

“You got me a present?” Gavin asked, standing up straighter, pausing with one arm in one of Michael’s flannels that was lying on the floor. Christmas was three days ago, and other than the fact that he and Michael had yet to exchange gifts, he wasn’t expecting anything else.

“Yes, and I can’t wait any more,”

“I’ll be right down,”

He hung up and set his phone back on his nightstand, making sure he had a good amount of layers on before stepping foot outside. He crept down the stairs, one at a time, stopping after each to listen in case anyone else had woken up.

He slid his shoes on and rushed down the hall to the bathroom, grabbing a couple towels off the dryer and setting them by the door before he finally exited his house and saw Caleb standing in the rain with a big grin on his face. “Christ,” Gavin mumbled, making his way down to him. “You’re a bloody lunatic!” he had to speak loudly to be heard over the commotion around them, reaching for Caleb and tugging him forward and onto his porch.

“I know, but I wanted to see you,”

“God, I feel bad, I didn’t get you anything,”

“You didn’t have to, I understand why you wouldn’t,” he said sheepishly. Gavin didn’t say anything else, nodding and reaching for the bag in the other’s hand. He opened it and pulled out a large, heavy, soaked box, wrapping paper covered in drops of water. “Sorry,” Caleb chuckled.

“It’s alright,”

He tore it open to find an entire set of movies in his hands, _The Lord of the Rings._ “I know you said a while ago that they were some of your favorite movies but you hadn’t seen them in a while cause you didn’t own them, so I was shopping and I saw these and… yeah,” he rambled.

“You really didn’t need to get me anything,”

“I know, but I thought of you when I saw it and decided to go with it,”

“Well, that’s very sweet of you,”

“There’s something else in there, but don’t open it until you’re inside,” he said quickly. “I should probably get home now, it’s almost four,”

“Thank you Caleb,”

He didn’t answer with words; instead he leaned forward and pressed a firm kiss to the corner of Gavin’s mouth, backing away with a smile before turning and running back to his car.

When the door was firmly shut behind him he kicked his shoes off, peeled Michael’s flannel from his shoulders and shimmied out of his pajama bottoms. He wrapped a towel and ran it through his hair a few times before padding down the hall to the bathroom and throwing everything into the dryer.

He dug into the bottom of the bag, pulling out a rectangular box, when he snapped it open there was a silky purple tie with a small scrap of paper on top that said _Prom?_ in colorful letters. Gavin almost winced, feeling guilty.

Though he wasn’t sure if he was guilty because he would have to say no to Caleb, or if he was guilty because for a split second he considered it, before snapping it shut and dropping it back in the bag. He left it in the living room and made his slow journey back upstairs.

He pulled on a pair of shorts and started crawling back in bed, freezing when Michael’s eye lids started twitching before his eyes were peeling open halfway.

“’here’d you go?”

“Needed to pee,” Gavin answered easily, settling back in. Michael accepted this and rolled onto his back, one arm reaching out towards Gavin, sliding under his chest and pulling him over so his face was nuzzled into Michael’s neck.

He didn’t feel too guilty anymore after that.

~~~

“No one ever makes New Year’s resolutions,”

“It’s never too late to start!”

“That would be dumb, none of us are gonna change a damn thing,” Michael said raising his cup to his lips, wincing at the horrid taste of champagne, but it was the only thing their parents would allow them to drink so he sucked it up.

“We can pretend to,” Geoff declared, handing out strips of paper to each of them and handing a black sharpie to Ryan. “You start,”

“This is so dumb,” the blond groaned, but still he uncapped the marker and started scribbling.

“Why bother writing them down?” Jack asked. “Why not just say them out loud?”

“Fine, we’ll do it your way,”

Ryan just stared at them with bored eyes, ripping his paper in half. “I want to get a promotion at work,”

“Perfect, Jack?”

“I want you to grow a beard,”

“That doesn’t count,”

“It does, it’s something I’m determined to make happen,”

“You can’t control facial hair,”

“I’ll find a way,”

“Whatever, Gav?”

“I want to ace an English class,”

“Nice, Ray?”

“I don’t know, reach five hundred thousand gamer score,” he shrugged.

“You can absolutely do that,” Michael commented.

“What about you Geoff?” Ryan asked then turning towards the older man.

“Uh… well I’m not really sure,”

“You mean you don’t have anything?” Ray laughed. “What the hell man,”

“I want to learn how to cook!” he said suddenly throwing a hand up.

“Lame,” Michael droned.

“And what about you?”

“Fuck if I know, fall in love,” he said nonchalantly, reaching for the bottle to fill up again.

“There you go,” Jack finished. “I’m gonna go upstairs and see if the girls are here yet,”

“I’ll join you,” Geoff stood.

“Same, I could use some water,” Michael added.

When they were out of the room, Gavin let out a breath and turned to the other two in the room. “I need to talk to you both,” he said quickly, looking towards the stairs as if expecting Michael to walk back in any second.

“What’s up Gav?” Ryan asked, leaning back and wrapping an arm around Ray.

“Caleb asked me to prom,” he squeezed his eyes shut at the end, not wanting to see their reactions quite yet. He heard them first, heard the disappointed sigh from Ryan and the whine from Ray.

“And you said?” Ryan asked calmly.

“I haven’t answered yet,”

“I thought you were going with Michael,”

“I am, but only as friends, and if someone wants to go as more than friends I should consider it right?” Gavin was pretty sure he knew what his answer would be, but he still wanted advice from the other two, just in case.

“Not Caleb,” Ryan deadpanned. “I think you should go with Michael, he’ll take care of you,”

“It’s prom, I don’t need a babysitter,” he snapped.

“I don’t mean it like that. I mean, he’ll dance with _you_ , and keep his eyes on _you_ , Caleb might just leave you for anyone else he sees,” he shrugged.

“Harsh,” Ray scolded, glaring at his boyfriend for a second. “Don’t bail on Michael, for anyone. He’s your boi,”

“Yeah,” Gavin nodded. “You guys are right. Sorry I even mentioned it,” he smiled.

The door to the basement opened back up then and loud music drifted down. “Aye!” Michael yelled from the top. “Ladies are here!”

He started making his decent down the stairs, Meg and Lindsay following closely behind him. Jack and Caiti took their time, hands clasped tightly and faces turned toward each other, already lost in conversation. Geoff came last, carrying Griffon very carefully on his back.

“Now we can party!” Meg said when her feet touched the concrete floor. She ran up to Gavin, hugging him and kissing him on the cheek, moving to Ray and Ryan next.

“We still have two hours to midnight,” Geoff announced, dropping Griffon carefully on the couch and sitting next to her.

“Good thing I brought this then,” his girlfriend giggled, pulling a full bottle of vodka from her bag.

“Of course,” Ray rolled his eyes.

“Christ, how’d you even get that?”

“Mom wasn’t paying attention,” she shrugged. “Are we doing this or what?”

“Jack, it’s your house. Make the call,”

“Why not?” he shrugged, pushing his empty cup over to the blond girl.

“Right on,” she grinned twisting the cap off and starting to pour.

It wasn’t even eleven before they finished off the bottle. Ray and Ryan sat in the corner filming their friends for later blackmail while they drank and made declarations of love for each other and came up with all sorts of new resolutions.

“I want to dye my hair three more colors!” Meg had yelled.

“I want to get a tattoo,” Griffon added.

“I’m gonna convince my parents to get a cat,” Lindsay laughed.

There were many more, but mainly everyone just sat quietly and watched _The Three Stooges_ between filling their cups.

The last hour to midnight was spent with everyone milling about, talking about new classes and prom and other things they had done over break until Jack’s mom was calling them upstairs to watch the fireworks they’d be shooting off.

“Act cool,” Geoff snapped before they made their way up.

“Gav,” Michael said then, holding him back by his wrist. “We’ve got five minutes to exchange gifts,” he smiled.

“Sure thing boi,”

They each went to their overnight bags, grabbing what they needed and meeting back by the bottom of the stair case.

“You first,” Michael said shoving a box in Gavin’s hands.

“Aw sick,” Gavin cooed when he pulled out the new sunglasses.

“Yeah, I figured since you broke your last pair…”

“I didn’t! You pushed me over and I fell on them!” Gavin argued.

“Details,” Michael waved him off. “Open the next one,”

“Thank god!” Gavin cried. “I’ve been out for a while now, my hair looks like shit,” he said when he saw the large hair product kit.

“Can’t have that can we?” Michael smirked.

“Shut up, here,” the Brit laughed.

“Did you just give me my shirt back?” Michael asked when he pulled out the red t-shirt with _Touch My Awesome Button_ written across it.

“No, I bought you a new one since I still have the other one. We can be twins now!” Gavin squealed.

“Oh boy,” Michael rolled his eyes, but laughed when Gavin slapped him on the arm. “Thanks,” he added then. He pulled out the pack of beanies next, one black, one gray and one blue, “Hats seem to be a common theme for me,”

“Cause you’re either always wearing one or complaining about how you wished you had one. Now you can’t run out,”

“Very true, I can even keep one in my locker for emergencies,”

“Smart thinking,” Gavin nodded.

They heard the cheering then, yet again missing the start of the New Year, not that they minded. They knew if they walked upstairs they’d open the door and walk to the back deck to see Geoff and Griffon engaged in a powerful lip lock, Jack and Caiti standing next to them, more awkward and unsure, followed by Ray and Ryan, probably off in their own corner since they were always scared of what other’s might think when it came to adults. Meg and Lindsay would be holding hands, maybe pecking each other on the lips if they were tipsy enough.

And here they were, standing in front of each other at the bottom of Jack’s basement stairs, grinning at each other while fireworks went off outside, popping and being followed by ‘Ooh’s and ‘ahh’s.

“There you are!” Meg giggled when she pulled the door open. She walked about halfway down, one hand behind her back, hiding something.

“Oh God,” Michael said starting to step back, but Meg was quick to hold out the mistletoe in her hand.

“Christmas is over,” Gavin told her.

“As long as it’s December it counts,”

“Uh, it’s January now,”

“Shut up and kiss,” she commanded, chucking the mistletoe at their heads.

“Alright damn,” Michael said holding his hands out. He turned towards Gavin, planting both hands on his face and pulling him towards him. Gavin’s heart stopped but just before they made contact Michael moved to stand on the tips of his toes and plant a sweet kiss to Gavin’s forehead.

They were both blushing when the pulled back, ignoring Meg’s disappointed pout. “Happy New Year,” Michael whispered.

“Happy New Year,” Gavin answered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked it!  
> Next chapter will be a bit of a time jump.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A couple things about this chapter.  
> 1.) It's about a four month time jump from the last one.  
> 2.) It's told mainly in bits and pieces. 
> 
> Junior year is wrapping up for these guys which I'm super excited about cause senior year is gonna be packed.  
> Next chapter will be their prom and kinda wrapping up the bits and pieces that are left.  
> Also I finally got around to making a playlist for this story that I will link below and I hope you all enjoy.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

“What are you doing tomorrow?” Caleb asked hopeful.

“Prom shopping with Ray and the girls,” Gavin answered licking at his ice cream cone again.

“What color are you going for?”

“Just black,” Gavin shrugged, “Michael and I are just wearing our Minecraft necklaces,”

“No ties?”

“Nah,”

“If you went with me you could wear the purple one,” he sang.

“Not this again,” the Brit laughed.

“Just saying, it’s not too late,”

“I’m not bailing on Michael,” he said. He had said that about five times now, since every time Gavin met up with Caleb the boy tried to find a way to get Gavin to agree.

“Worth a shot,” he smirked. “Maybe someday you’ll choose me again,” he said wistfully.

“Maybe,”

They laughed awkwardly, turning away from each other on the bench, facing the street again. Gavin’s ice cream had started melting a long time ago so he was trying to lick it from his fingers cringing at the sticky mess.

Gavin didn’t mean for them to come this far. He had thought that they could hang out maybe once a month and talk at school and pretend that they never had romantic interest in each other, but after Christmas Gavin felt guilty when the other was trying so hard.

It started shortly after New Year’s. Gavin called Caleb and asked him to come over and marathon _Lord of the Rings_ with him on a Saturday morning. The boy arrived shortly after, carrying a bag of drinks and snacks, all of Gavin’s favorites.

They didn’t talk again for a few days until Caleb met him at his locker one morning for school. Gavin smiled when he saw him, offering him a good morning while his friends glared. Caleb walked him to class and then requested Gavin’s presence at his house that weekend. Gavin, who felt bad for saying no to prom, agreed.

They fell into a routine, if Gavin wasn’t with Michael or any of his other friends he was with Caleb watching movies and playing video games, trying to find reasons to avoid dating the boy again since he brought it up every time.

“Gav?” Caleb was asking, pulling him from his thoughts.

“What?”

“Your ice cream…” he said gesturing towards Gavin’s crotch. Gavin looked down to see his red shorts covered in drops of chocolate.

“Christ,” he sighed, starting to stand only to be pushed back down by the other.

“I’ll get some napkins,” he explained, running back to the ice cream stand across the park. Gavin watched him go, glaring at the cone in his hand. “Here,” Caleb said hanging two to Gavin and keeping another for himself.

They both reached down at the same time, knuckles bumping each other’s as they started dabbing Gavin’s lap. The Brit’s face turned bright red, hand stilling on his thigh.

“Uh, Caleb?”

“Yeah?”

“I think I got it,” he said quietly. Caleb tilted his head at him about to speak when he looked down and realized how close he was to the other boy, how it might have looked to bystanders.

“Sorry,” he blushed.

~~~

“Gavin, this one is perfect,” Griffon squealed.

“It’s blue,” he commented dryly.

“So is Michael’s necklace, he can get a green one,”

“We aren’t dating,”

“Might as well be,” Ray mumbled pulling a slim black vest on.

“That’s the one!” Griffon stepped closer to smooth it out, grinning at the boy. “Red ties right?”

“Yeah, but he’s been hinting at a bow tie for a while now,” Ray rolled his eyes.

“That would actually be perfect,” Caiti giggled.

“Yeah, you guys would match perfectly,” Gavin added, pulling another black vest out.

“No,” Griffon snapped putting it back on the rack.

“Christ, we aren’t planning on matching,”

“You have too, its junior prom,”

“So?”

“Matching,” she snapped pointing towards the dressing room waiting for him and Ray. He sighed but stepped inside anyway, pulling his phone out of his pocket to text Michael.

_Griffon is demanding that we wear matching vests._

_What color?_ Was the immediate reply.

_Mine is blue, yours is green._

_I like it._ Michael said, finished with a smiley face.

“Come in!” Ray announced pulling the curtain back and sliding in. “Griffon said you’d need this,” he said handing Gavin a white dress shirt.

They stood with their backs to each other, pulling their ensembles on and inspecting themselves in the mirror. Ray, satisfied, walked out to get approval from Griffon and Caiti, both squealing when he walked out.

“Good?” he asked.

“Perfect, come look at ties,” Caiti said grabbing his hand and sweeping him away.

Gavin couldn’t tell what was wrong with his suit, but his eyes kept getting pulled to the white shirt, deciding that it looked out of place. “Griffon,” he called.

“What’s up?” she poked her head in, “nice,”

“Can you bring me a black shirt?”

“Good choice.” She returned a few minutes later, whistling at the shirtless Gavin standing in front of her.

He stepped back out a moment later, eyes finding Ray and Caiti first, flipping through different ties. He saw Griffon next looking at vests. When she saw him she froze, taking him in and nodding, two thumbs up.

“Dude, you look awesome,” Ray said when he noticed.

“Thanks,” he blushed.

“Seriously, if I wasn’t madly in love with Ryan and I was single, I’d call you,” he winked.

“You look handsome,” Caiti added.

“Geoff better watch out. Ya know, if you were straight,”

“That settles that then,” the Brit nodded satisfied, stepping back inside to change into his street clothes.

“I’m going shopping with the guys in two hours, I’ll take care of color coordinating,” Griffon assured, pulling her phone out. “Gav, I’m coming in!” she pulled the curtain back and snapped a picture of him, pants unbuttoned and jacket in his hand.

“Out,” he snapped.

Ray joined him a few minutes later putting his jeans and t-shirt back on. “It feels great to be in normal clothes again,”

“Yeah, now we have to go help the girls, then go through the ‘on hold’ process,”

“Then we gotta come back with our moms to write us checks,” Ray rolled his eyes.

“Wanna come back to him after, watch a movie?” Gavin offered when they stepped out, pieces of their suits bunched up in their hands.

“Sure,”

“You guys are animals!” Griffon exclaimed rushing over to grab the pile from Gavin’s hands. “This shit is expensive, keep it in good condition. Christ,”

“Sorry,” Gavin muttered watching the girl sort through everything and fold it into a neat stack.

Soon they were walking to the other side of the store, filled to the brim with gowns in all different colors and sizes. Caiti had been eyeing gold ties earlier, eyes immediately finding the bright yellows across the room. She gripped Gavin’s hand and pulled him with her.

Griffon however stayed to the blacks near the entrance, instructing Ray to hold both his arms out so she could lay the dresses down without them touching the floor.

Both girls wandered the racks back and forth, pulling dresses out and looking them over before giving them to one of the boys or putting them back.

Finally, just when Ray and Gavin’s arms were about to fall off and Griffon and Caiti only had an hour left before Griffon was supposed to meet the boys, they walked to the dressing rooms and told the boys to wait patiently.

Griffon was the first to walk out, long black dress falling straight to the floor. “No?” she asked scrunching her nose up.

“Uh…” Gavin trailed off. “It- it makes you look square,” he said carefully. Ray’s head snapped towards him, eyes wide.

“Thought so,” she laughed stepping back in. Gavin sighed in relief.

“I thought for sure she’d kick your ass,”

“Me too,” Gavin whispered.

Caiti came out a second later, gold dress falling to the floor. It had long sleeves and a high collar that made both boys cringe.

“No,” Gavin said instantly.

“Yeah,” the Australian nodded turning around.

“See, I feel okay, cause I’ve always considered myself a gay boy with no fashion sense but even I knew that was an abomination,” Ray said quietly.

“Agreed,” Gavin laughed.

They went back and forth, each time coming out to a no and walking back to try again, eventually both girls hit a jackpot at the same time, both walking out and squealing at each other.

“Perfection!” Gavin cried, standing to get a closer look.

“You guys look awesome, Jack and Geoff are actually going to die,” Ray smiled.

“I’m in love with this,” Griffon said twirling in front of the mirror.

The bell across the store dinged and they all turned to see as Geoff, Jack, Ryan and Michael walked in looking bored.

“Move!” Gavin hissed, pushing both girls back towards their changing rooms. “We can distract them,” he said pulling Ray’s arm.

They moved across the store, smiling at the store assistant that was greeting them. “They’re the dates?” she asked smiling.

Ray nodded and moved to Ryan’s side hugging him. “You guys are in for a long day,” he mumbled.

“Tired?” his boyfriend asked running his fingers through the boys black hair.

“Mhm,” he nodded against the blonde’s chest.

“Are you gonna take a nap when you get home?”

“I’m going to Gavin’s to watch movies, I’ll probably just crash there,”

“Good, are we still on for tomorrow?”

“Yeah,” Ray nodded.

“Sorry, we were changing,” Griffon said out of breath when she and Caiti reached them.

“Are you guys getting all of those?” Geoff asked looking at the stack of dresses in her hands.

“No, but I didn’t want you to know which one I’m getting,” she smiled. “Walk over there with the boys while Caiti and I put these on hold,” she said nodding over towards the tie section.

“Can I get a bowtie?” Jack asked Caiti, leaning down to peck her on the lips.

“Sure, Griffon will help you with the color,”

“I’m guessing its gold,” he said looking at her arms.

“Maybe,” she sang following Griffon towards the counter.

“Alright gents,” Gavin said putting his arms around Michael and Geoff’s shoulders, pulling them further into the store.

“What color am I looking for?” Michael pulled him away from Geoff towards the vests.

“Green, I don’t really know what shade though. You’ll need to check with Griffon,”

“What did you get?”

“Can’t say,”

“Why?”

“Griffon says that none of you can know what we’re going to wear,” he shrugged.

“Lame,” Michael said moving around the rack until he found a shelf of green vests. “I guess I’ll just wait here for further instructions,” he smiled. Gavin just smile at him, jumping when his phone vibrated in his pocket.

“Mom’s here,” he announced turning to find Ray and Ryan looking through jackets. “Let’s go Brown Man,” he called earning strange looks from other shoppers.

“Coming,” he kissed Ryan goodbye and went to hug Griffon and Caiti before waving to everyone else.

“Finally free!” he screeched when the door shut behind them scaring multiple pigeons and people near them.

“Christ alive Ray,” Gavin laughed with a hand over his heart.

“Well! I’m exhausted man,”

“Me too, screw movies let’s go to sleep,”

“Amen to that,”

~~~

“Geoff, this is your fifth win tonight, can’t we go outside and get some air?” Griffon whined finally, pulling Geoff’s hand from the red cup and placing it on her waist. She dragged her fingers up his chest and smirked, tilting her head curiously. “I want some alone time,”

“I guess I can take a break,” he smiled.

“Yeah, it’s not like you’ve ever lost and need to redeem yourself,” she rolled her eyes.

“I can’t help it! My aim is just perfect,”

“Yeah yeah,” she grabbed his hand, taking a second to admire the still healing tattoos on his knuckles before dragging him away.

They had been at the party for two hours and Geoff had made his way straight to the kitchen, checking in with Blaine about setting up the game and running with it. People had watched him dominate every round and still freshmen and sophomores, eager to prove themselves, stepped forward with cocky grins, only to stomp away, swaying slightly, when they lost.

Griffon had gone to the living room after getting her first drink, mingling with other kids from her classes, dancing dirtily with Caiti while others watched, and taking shots with Gavin and Lindsay. Finally she was bored and wanted a little TLC from her boyfriend and she could tell from the chanting in the kitchen that he was still in there. She excused herself from her friends and strutted through the house, walking into the kitchen with a soft click of her heels and now she was pulling Geoff through the house towards the back door where more party goers were standing and talking.

“You want alone time surrounded by strangers?”

“Nope,” she said popping the ‘p’ and tugging him through the yard and behind the large tool shed ignoring the whistles they received.

“You’re getting braver,” he said once they turned the corner and Griffon shoved him against the wall.

“We’ve been together like forever. Who cares if they know what we do?” she smirked leaning in to kiss him, pushing his sweatshirt from his shoulders.

“You really wanna do this outside? Against a shed? Tipsy at a party?”

“We aren’t gonna go all the way,” she told him throwing her leather jacket on the ground.

“Whatever you say,”

Griffon shut him up with a hard kiss, hands gripping his shoulders, messaging gently. His hands landed on her waist lifting her shirt just enough for his fingers to skim her skin. She smirked against his mouth, biting his lower lip and bringing her hands down to stuff up his shirt. He gasped, pulling away long enough to pick her up and spin them around letting her wrap her legs around his waist.

“How much have you drank?” he asked pulling back.

“Honestly not much,” she breathed.

“Okay.” He pressed their lips back together, licking into her mouth, hands pressed firmly on her bum to keep her steady.

His shirt joined their other layers soon after, Griffon trailing kisses down his chest, sucking bruises into his sensitive skin, but finally Geoff set her down and stepped back, standing awkwardly.

“We should take a break,”

“I guess you’re right,” Griffon panted licking her puffy lips.

Geoff put his shirt back on, handing the blonde’s jacket to her and shrugging his sweatshirt on. Once they both had a few minutes to situate themselves Geoff took her hand and walked out from behind the shed, face red when other kids started commenting and howling at them, but Griffon just flipped them off and held Geoff’s hand tighter.

They walked inside to see Gavin and Ray grinding heavily on each other, both relaxed with Lindsay, Meg, Barbara and Tina surrounding them. Ryan and Michael stood against a wall watching, sipping their drinks and chatting amongst themselves. Geoff went to join them as Griffon went to the dance floor.

“When did that start?” he asked nodding towards the group.

“About ten minutes ago,” Michael chuckled. “Meg can be very persuasive, almost had me and Rye out there too,”

“That would’ve been a sight,” Geoff told them.

“Where were you?” Ryan asked, eyes trailing the boys pale skin, littered in small dark patches.

“Outside,” he said casually.

“Risqué,” Ryan sang.

“Her idea,” he shrugged. “Where’s Jack?”

“He and Caiti left a bit ago. Probably walking around town,” Michael said taking another sip of his beer.

“You guys almost ready to leave?” Ryan asked suddenly, pushing himself off the wall. Geoff turned towards the dance floor eyes finding his friends and girlfriend instantly. It all looked normal, until he saw Caleb and Gavin talking in the middle of the floor while Tina and Ray moved together.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Michael scowled. Ryan nodded and made his way into the mass, whispering into his boyfriend’s ear, pressing a kiss to the skin below before nodding and moving away. Ray leaned over to Tina, saying goodbye and turning to Griffon, grabbing her flailing hands and stilling her. Geoff couldn’t hear him from where he was but he could tell he was shouting to be heard over the thumping bass. She nodded and reached across Meg and Barbara grabbing Gavin’s arm and tugging him. He looked apologetically at Caleb and let himself be tugged away.

Geoff sighed and moved to the entryway, sending a text to Jack and waiting for everyone to gather their things.

~~~

The night air wrapped around them, whispering against their skin while they rolled in the grass. He threaded one of his hands through her hair, fingers smoothing the brown locks. His other was gripping her cheek firmly, keeping her in place. She giggled against his mouth, hands rubbing against the stubble on his jaw.

The grass was only slightly damp under them, imprints of their bodies left behind every time they turned over. They moved frantically, hands trying to get used to each other after almost half a year together. They touched like they’d never get another chance to.

“Your scruff is ticklish,” Caiti whispered, rubbing her nose against Jack’s.

“Oh?” he asked smiling down at her. He wiggled his eye brows and moved quickly, before she could cower. He brushed his chin against her neck, laughing when she cackled and started swatting at him.

“Stop stop!”

“You should know better by now,”

“Shut up,” she blushed sitting up. She pulled her hair into a bun and stood. “Come on,”

“Where are we going?” he took her hand and let her pull him up walking out of his backyard to his car.

“I wanna go on an adventure,” she explained getting in the passenger seat.

“Point me in the general direction,”

“We don’t have school tomorrow, let’s go to the beach,”

“What does school have to do with it?”

“Let’s camp out in the car,” she said suddenly, bouncing in her seat. He leaned back in his though, thinking over the option long enough to make Caiti think he wouldn’t agree. “We don’t need to,” she whispered.

“No, I’m just making a list,” he said. “We need a few essentials first. Come on,” he got out of the car, walking up the pathway into his house.

“What do we need?”

“I’m gonna grab a cooler and fill it with some snacks and stuff. We’re gonna need to stop by a gas station for ice. Do you wanna run upstairs and get a couple blankets from my closet and grab the pillows off my bed?” he asked.

“Sure,”

“And make sure you’re quiet, my parents are light sleepers,”

“Will do,” she smiled stepping out of her flats and tip toeing up the stairs.

They completely their missions in under five minutes, loading up the car before Jack told her she could get in and he just wanted to grab them each something to change into.

He returned to the car in a rush, sliding in and throwing the plastic bag in the back, grinning at her like an idiot.

“I left a note so they wouldn’t freak in the morning. We have food, shelter, clothes, am I missing anything?”

“I think we just need the ice and we’re good,”

“Sweet,” he started the car and put it in reverse and backing into the road.

Caiti’s hand found his on the center console squeezing tight. He smiled at her and nodded towards the radio letting her take control of the music. She played slow music, staring out the window, only the street lights they passed made her face visible.

Jack pulled into the gas station and parked, turning to her. “Want anything?”

“No thanks,” she smiled.

“Okay, I’ll be right back,”

He came back with a bag of ice and a bag in his hand, handing it to Caiti when she gave him a curious look and moving the back of his car to pull the cooler out. He set it on the ground and ripped the bag of ice open dumping it in and shutting it. He threw the plastic away and got back in the car.

“You got my favorite,” she smiled holding the Twix bar.

“I was worried it would be too much sugar considering you’re already so sweet,”

“Oh my God, you’re a dweeb,” she giggled ripping the gold package open.

“And we’re off!” he shouted, pulling out of his spot too fast and spinning the car around. He was glad there were no police officers nearby to witness it.

They spent the ride hand in hand listening to Caiti’s soft tunes filter through the car, watching the gray clouds pass.

“Why the sudden need for adventure?” Jack asked suddenly, letting go of her hand long enough to turn the music down just a tad.

“I don’t really know,” she shrugged. “I just wanted to do something… different. My host parents think I’m at Griffon’s anyway,”

Jack nodded, linking their fingers back together and squeezing. “I like different,”

“I’m glad,”

They didn’t speak again for the rest of the ride, both lost in their own thoughts, but they made sure their hands never strayed from each other. Every now and then Caiti would lean over and grab her phone off the dash, changing the song or turning the volume up. Jack tried focusing on the road, but every now and then when they were on an open stretch of highway while the clock ticked away, only them on the road, he’d turn over and stare at his girlfriend. He wouldn’t look for too long, needing to focus back on the road so he wouldn’t crash, but still he’d watch her. Take in the crease of her brows and her thumb absentmindedly rubbing the back of his hand. He’d watch her closer her eyes and take deep breaths, opening them and turning to him with her icy blue stare. She’d look at him for a moment, even after he had turned away, studying him before looking away herself. It was like a game.

It was almost one in the morning when Caiti cracked her window open letting the wind whistle through the car Jack could smell the salt water. He turned the music off completely and rolled every window down, letting the sound of crashing waves and winds pushing against his ears fill the silence.

He rode down the beach until he found a good spot to pull off, one with a view. He pulled in and spun around, backing up so they could look out of the trunk and see the ocean. He turned the car off and turned to his girlfriend.

“Well, here we are,”

“I’m so excited,” she said softly, smiling at him. “Thank you,” she leaned over the console and kissed him, lips lingering a second longer than a peck.

They both got out of the car, moving things around until they could put the back seat down and lay a blanket out, crawling in and shutting the doors. Jack leaned over the driver’s seat and turned the car on, rolling every window halfway down and then he turned the car off and locked the doors. They sat with their knees pressed against each others, legs crossed underneath them. Jack set the cooler and their change of clothes in the front seat so they had more room to stretch out.

“It’s so nice out,” Caiti commented leaning closer to the window.

“Do you wanna walk for a bit?” Jack asked, leaning to get the sweatshirts in the front seat when she nodded eagerly.

They stepped out of the car putting their warmer layers on. Jack moved to the other side of the car waiting for Caiti who removed her shoes and walked across the pavement barefoot.

“Let me go first,” Jack said, stepping around her and stepping on the first large rock on the way down. He turned around and reached for her hand helping pull her up.

They weren’t too far up, only had to walk down a small rock path, trying not to slide on the slipperier ones. Finally they were standing in the cool sand at the bottom, letting the water come and lap against their toes.

“What are you doing after work Monday?”

“Nothing, why?” Caiti asked, slipping her hand into his and starting to walk.

“Wanna go to a movie?”

“Which one?”

“Figure it out when we get there?” he offered.

“Okay,” she nodded.

Jack watched her as they walked, taking in the faraway look in her eyes and frown in the corners of her mouth. She had been weird for a few days now, one minute so happy to be with him and the next she was in a whole new world. He didn’t want to push her though, he saw what happened whenever one of his friends pushed their significant other and he was not looking for a fight.

He wanted to ask her what was going on, but with her hand in his and the ocean waves crashing around them he didn’t wanna interrupt their peace. The sky was full of stars that couldn’t be seen too well from most neighborhoods and the moon was shaped like a toenail.

“What’s that?” she asked pointing over to something green sticking up in the sand. They walked over to investigate seeing that it was in fact a plastic shovel and a few feet away there was a blue pail.

“So… we absolutely have to make a sand castle right?” he asked.

“I’ll start digging if you want to go get some sand,”

“Yes, ma’am,” he nodded, pretending to tip his ‘hat’ at her and moving to fetch the pail.

She kneeled in the sand, pulling the green shovel out and starting to dig a large circle. When Jack came back he set the bucket down and moved to smooth out the sand, turning to her for instructions on where to dump it out.

“Right in the center,” she told him, not even bothering to look up.

He made five more trips, filling the bucket with damp sand, stacking it on top of each other while Caiti made a deep moat. When she finished she ran back towards the rocks, heels digging in the sand and slowing her down on her mission to find sticks and rocks to decorate with.

“I hope one day I have a house that looks just like this,” Jack chuckled when she put the last stick in the top, surrounded by pebbles. There were shells lining the outside of the moat and now all they had to do was fill it.

“I hope I have a house with a lava moat though, it would be more interesting whenever I had guests,” the Australian commented.

“That would be pretty kick ass,”

They walked down together this time, filling the blue bucket with salty water and bringing it over to fill in their moat and complete their castle.

“Good teamwork,” Jack said lifting his hand for a high five. She slapped hers against his, hand lingering on his for a beat. They stood facing each other; grinning with their hands pressed gently together, wind kissing the tips of their ears and hair.

“I love you,” Caiti said loud and clear, eyes steady on his. Jack’s eyes widened and his cheeks turned red but the grin never left his face.

“Really?” She nodded once, certain. “I love you too,”

Because of their height differences and her lack of shoes and the sand that covered her feet to her ankles she had to step completely out of the sand and step on Jack’s sneaker clad feet. His hands moved to steady her immediately, but she put hers up catching his and linking them together pulling them down to their sides. She kissed him softly at first, not letting him pull his hands away to hold her, no she didn’t want cool hands on heated skin or fingers tangled in soft hair. Right now she just wanted the soft press of lips, allowing him to show his passion without words or bigger actions.

They jumped apart when a seagull squawked loudly next to them, causing Jack to stumble and both of them to fall over, right into their fresh sand castle. Caiti cried out when they hit it, clothes becoming soaked and sand getting everywhere, but when she heard Jack’s rumbling laughter next to her she turned and saw him with a hand clapped over his mouth to smother the sound. Caiti couldn’t help it, letting herself relax and giggle with him until both of them could be heard over the crashing waves and were worried they’d even wake someone up.

“Oh my God,” Jack panted, crying with laughter.

“So much for our beautiful sand castle,”

“Fuck seagulls,”

They stayed lying in the sand for a while longer, figuring there was no saving their clothes or castle at this point, both high off love and exhaustion.

“We should probably go back and change,” Caiti sighed finally sitting up and shaking her wet, sandy hair out, laughing when she pulled a stick out of the tangles at the bottom.

“I guess you’re right,” he stood up and brushed what he could off, reaching down to help Caiti up, turning his back to her and letting her climb up. He walked slowly back to the car, enjoying the light weight of his girlfriend wrapped around him, the warmth of her body pressed to his.

He set her down when they reached the rocks that would lead to the car, taking it one step at a time. He turned around after each leap making sure she could get there without injury and when he was back on solid ground he lifted her off the last rock and carried her the rest of the way to the car, setting her down on the hood and kissing her.

“Not exactly what I had in mind,” she giggled.

“I figured we might not get interrupted this time,”

He kissed her again, harder this time, hands on her lower back to keep her from lying flat out. She brought her hands up to his chest, looking for his sweatshirt zipper to undo it. She pushed it off his shoulders, hands falling to the hem of his shirt next. He pulled back this time when he felt her cold fingertips brush his stomach.

“Are you okay with this?” he asked.

“Extremely,” she answered.

“Do you- are you trying- are we…”

“I love you,” she stated. “I want to have sex with you, but if you want to wait just say the word,” her voice never wavered, no sign of hesitation at all.

“I want to, god I want to, but we aren’t doing this on the roof of my car,”

“So let’s do it in the back,” she whispered against his lips, pulling him forward with a hand on the back of his neck. Without parting from her he scooped his hands under her bum and lifted her up bringing her to the back door and leaning her against the trunk long enough to open it and set her inside, crawling after her.

 

They woke up the next morning to seagulls screeching and flying around their car, the strong smell of salt in the air and the yelling of children that walked by with their parents. Both of them were only in their undergarments and should have been embarrassed by the dirty looks they got from some mothers that happened to peek inside, but when their eyes met, still hazy with sleep they couldn’t help but grin.

~~~

“Can you give this to the foreign guy?” a redhead asked, holding a slip of paper between her perfectly manicured fingers. Michael nodded at her with an impassive expression, taking the paper and wishing her family a good day.

As soon as the door clicked shut behind them Michael unfolded the note and rolled his eyes. _Angie_ it said, ‘i’ dotted with a heart, and underneath were seven numbers in neat script. Michael just ripped it in half and shoved it in his pockets.

“Saw that,” Geoff sang as he walked past.

“How do you do that every time?” Michael hissed.

“Cause I know when to walk by after a cute girl leaves,”

“Don’t say a word or I’ll tell Griffon you check out the cute girls at work,” Michael said smugly.

“Are you kidding me? Griffon and I check out cute girls together most of the time,” he shrugged. “I just don’t get why you do it?”

“He’s gay?”

“So? It’ll boost his self esteem,”

“He doesn’t need that pressure, you know Gavin. He’ll feel obligated to call her,”

“That’s bullshit, he never called that one girl that gave it to him directly and she could’ve come back for him,”

“Geoff, just… shut up,”

“Someone’s jealous,”

“Someone’s protecting his best friend from creepy teenage girls,”

“Would you give Gavin the number if it was a guy? You know, since he’s gay and all,”

“No,” the redhead said without missing a beat.

“Why?”

“Like I said, he doesn’t need that pressure. He’s freaking out about school and prom and senior year and finals. He doesn’t need a relationship,”

“And you know this because?”

“Because, I know Gavin,”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. If he wanted a relationship he would’ve gotten back together with Caleb by now,”

“Not funny,”

“Wasn’t trying to be,” Geoff said raising a brow and walking into the dining room leaving Michael to greet the party of five that just walked in.

He seated them in Gavin’s section, bumping his shoulder lightly against him as he went to give the couple at the next table their drinks and tell them he’d give them a few more minutes. He grinned at Michael when he walked by, mouthing ‘Hi boi,’ as he went.

Michael couldn’t explain why it felt so... right.

~~~

“-and that’s why they’re extinct,”

“Ryan,”

“Yes?” he asked looking down at his boyfriend, hands still resting on his boyfriend’s waist on the cool tiled floor.

“Did you really, just sneak me up here, in the middle of the night, to talk about dinosaurs for fifteen minutes?” the smaller boy asked.

“Well! It was an interesting topic and that movie got me thinking and-“

“Ryan!” Ray snapped, but there was a smile on his face.

“What?”

“Shut the fuck up and put your mouth on me,”

“Done,” Ryan said, mouth meeting his.

He rubbed his thumbs along Ray’s hips, stroking the soft skin while he kissed along his mouth and jaw, but before things could get too heated Ray started laughing.

“What?”

“You’re just such a fucking loser,” he cackled, crossing his arms over his stomach. “You have your boyfriend literally lying underneath you and you decide to get all scientific. Oh my God,” tears were springing to his eyes, rolling down his cheeks.

Ryan sat back on his heels allowing Ray to sit up and get himself together, glowering. “Shut up,” he mumbled.

“Aw babe, you’re so cute,” Ray breathed, pulling his glasses off to wipe his eyes with his shirt and calm himself down.

“It was an interesting topic!”

“I love you,”

“Yeah yeah, love you too,” the blond pouted.

“Don’t be like that,” Ryan didn’t answer, just crossed his arms and sat on his bottom. Ray crawled towards him then, smirking. “Ryan,” he sang.

“No,” the other said firmly.

“Ryan, I’m sorry,” he didn’t sound it.

“Go away,”

“Ryan,” Ray whispered once he was right in front of his boyfriend’s face. “I wanna stay with you,” he leaned forward, pressing a kiss to his left cheek, then his right, then his forehead, nose, jaw and finally his lips. “Plus you’re my ride home,”

“Not if you keep making fun of me,”

“I said I was sorry,” Ray whined climbing into Ryan’s lap, grabbing his wrists and bringing them around to his backside.

“You didn’t mean it,” he mumbled, but he squeezed Ray’s butt anyway, pulling him just a little closer.

“You are correct, but I still love you. Even if you are a giant nerd,”

“I love you too,” Ryan said finally, giving up in favor of kissing his boyfriend some more.

~~~

Ray’s face would’ve been priceless… if the snarl was directed at anyone else of course. Gavin scrunched his nose up and slid farther away. “I know, I know,”

“You’re actually considering it?”

“Not yet,” the Brit said holding his hands up in defense.

“What does that mean?”

“Like, we’ve been hanging out, and it’s really fun, but I wanna see how we are as friends for a bit longer before I decide,”

“Fucking, Caleb,” Ray sighed. “I mean, why bother telling me this? It’s your choice,”

“I know, but you’re my friend and I want your opinion too,”

“You know what I think, what we all think. He’s a shitty guy, but… if you’ve been hanging out and he makes you happy,” he paused to make a disgusted face, looking long and hard at Gavin, “then go for it,” he finished, sounding as if it physically pained him.

“I think he’s changed,”

“Maybe, maybe not,”

“I don’t know, you got back together with Ryan,”

“Gavin, please, never compare you and Caleb to Ryan and I,” Ray snapped, actually irritated. “Ryan did not cheat on me. He got insecure and freaked out. The two scenarios could not be more different,”

“Sorry. I just, it’s easy with him,”

‘It’s familiar,” Ray nodded. “I get it, and ultimately this is your life, I just wish it wasn’t him,”

“Nothing is set in stone,”

“I know, but I don’t want to see you get hurt again,”

“Even if I date him, I’m not gonna do anything I’d regret, so if he does cheat again for whatever reason then… oh well,”

“His loss,”

“Yeah,”

Ray sighed and flopped back on his bed, bouncing lightly. Gavin joined him a second later, arms pressed tightly together. “I wish Michael would get his head out of his ass,” Ray admitted.

“He’s straight Ray,”

“I find it so hard to believe and it makes everything so fucking difficult,”

“I know,”

“God I’m sorry. I can’t even _imagine_ what you must be feeling from Michael. He’s kind of playing you,”

“I don’t think so. He’s just comfortable in his own sexuality ya know?”

“Maybe, but I still think-“ he was cut off by his phone vibrating on his bed, his boyfriend’s face displayed on the screen. “Time to go to Jack’s,” he said standing up and answering the call. He talked briefly with Ryan, moving to grab their overnight bags and a sweatshirt before stepping out of his bedroom.

Gavin wanted to ask what Ray was about to say, but he decided it didn’t matter anymore.

~~~

“Ray, Ryan, stop fucking and learn about math!” Geoff yelled finally, throwing a pillow across the room at their heads. They pulled apart quickly, pillow landing with a thump between them. “That’s the barrier,” the eldest warned.

“Fine, fine,”

“Gavin!” Michael snapped, pushing the other boy off of him.

“Why is this so hard?” Jack asked, next to him.

It was the Friday before finals started and everyone was on edge. They had been studying for over three hours and slowly they were starting to get distracted or lose their minds.

They had started as a group and eventually separated into pairs, working on different subjects and quizzing each other. Geoff and Ray worked in their history books for a good half hour before Ryan asked if he wanted help with math, done helping Gavin with science. Jack and Michael finished their math lesson around the same time splitting up to work on other things.

Gavin and Michael were supposed to be working on English but Gavin abandoned that idea after an hour and decided that he’d make studying the hardest task possible by tickling Michael and closing his book at random moments. Ray and Ryan _were_ working on math… for ten minutes, but Ray bitched and whined for the next twenty which made Ryan come up with a reward system that allowed Ray to receive a kiss for every correct answer. He got a lot of them right, until they gave up on math completely to start sucking face.

No one else really cared at first, focusing more on the rock music playing from the doc across the room and the books in their laps, but after a while Geoff was getting real tired of the soft popping of lips.

“Just identify the root of the word and the rest is easy,” he tried explaining, but from the corner of his eye he could see Ray’s hand start reaching for Ryan, and he could hear Michael growling lowly to himself, and Jack was still staring dumbly at him.

“Fuck it!” he yelled just as Michael let out a shout and held his book up ready to his Gavin. “This is not gonna work if everyone is distracted by banging everyone else,” he explained when they all turned to him. “Gavin, you’re coming with me,”

“What?” the Brit asked. “I didn’t do anything,”

“Shut the fuck up,” Geoff crossed the room to him, wrapping his arm around his elbow and yanking him up. When Gavin resisted Geoff turned to him with wide eyes, throwing his books on the ground and picking the boy up off the ground and carrying him to the stairs. “Walk upstairs and wait for me in the kitchen,” he commanded. Gavin just nodded stupidly and started running. Geoff turned around, avoiding eye contact, grabbed his things and walked silently up.

“Wow,” Michael said when the door slammed behind him.

“Holy shit,” Ray breathed.

“I- okay, let’s get back to work,” Jack clapped, picking his worksheet up and looking it over again.

Things went back to normal for a while; eventually Michael shuffled over to Jack and started looking over Latin roots with him. It was fine, until Ray and Ryan started kissing again.

“You know what?” Jack said slamming his book shut causing Michael to jump on the couch next to him. “I think Geoff has a point, Ray why don’t you come up with me for a bit,”

“I’m good,”

“You won’t be when you fail because you’re not studying,” he said leaving no room for argument. He stood and waited by the stairs watching Ray until finally he sighed and grabbed his books.

“Love you,” he said to Ryan.

“I’ll always remember you,” the blond blew him a kiss.

“And then there was two,” Michael said when the door was shut. “Math?” he asked patting the spot next to him.

“Sure,” Ryan shrugged.

It only took fifteen minutes for them to get bored, throwing their books on the coffee table and leaning back.

“I think the reason this isn’t working is because our minds are fried,”

“Agreed, a break now and then is healthy,” Ryan nodded.

“I’d say let’s watch TV but knowing Geoff he’d somehow hear it and kill us,”

“Guess we’ll have to entertain ourselves,”

“I don’t know, tell me about you and Ray,” Michael shrugged.

“Really?”

“Yeah, why not? Are things okay?”

“Yeah, they’re better than ever,”

“So, no more breakups?”

“Hopefully,” Ryan sighed.

“What happened anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I know the gist of it. You were jealous of Gavin and insecure, but I don’t know, what made you realize you wanted him back?”

“It’s- I…” he stopped thinking for a moment before his eyes met Michael’s. “When you and Kara broke up how did you feel? What did you do?”

“I was upset I guess, I don’t know. I went to Gavin’s house,” he shrugged.

“I was frantic,” Ryan started. “When I told him we were done it felt… freeing? Because all the stress and thoughts I had been having for so long just stopped. I was alone though, I went home alone and I stayed up all night, alone. I didn’t tell anyone until like eight in the morning when I texted Jack,”

“I don’t get it,” Michael said apologetically.

“I just mean, Ray was my person. He was the one I’d go to when I was sad or happy, pissed or scared and I just… I just let him go. So I went home alone and I sat in bed alone and for the first hour I felt okay cause it was like this toxic thing was out of my life. When it hit three in the morning tough I felt lost. Who could I call? Ray was at his own house feeling like shit, because of me. You and Gavin were at his house probably exhausted and Geoff was passed out with Jack who was sound asleep.

“Then, I texted him that we should still be friends like a fucking dumbass,” he exclaimed. “And he said it was fine, as if it meant nothing and we were both fine and I was just pissed. I was upset and pissed off and really scared. I almost didn’t go to school Monday, but I woke up and I took a deep breath and I got myself there and I saw him and I knew,”

“Wait, so you knew literally three days after the break up that you wanted him back and you still waited for-fucking-ever?”

“Yeah… I saw him and I could tell he had been crying like a lot because it was three days later and his eyes were still bloodshot ya know? But I had thought that I ruined it for good, destroyed all his trust and all that. So I gave up for a while, but eventually I noticed that there was hope so I started trying to come back into his life but I kept _fucking_ it up. Absolutely ruining it,”

“How?”

“I told him he meant nothing to me, then I told him he meant everything to me and _then_ I apologized, but not for breaking up with him. Is any of this making sense?”

“You’re an ass,” Michael laughed.

“I know, believe me I do. I still don’t know how he took me back,”

“What happened that night anyway?”

“When? The night we got back together?”

“Yeah,”

“I went after him after you all yelled at me, thank you by the way,” he smiled. “And before I could even say a word he went off,”

“Seriously?”

“Oh yeah, it was pretty great. He said all this stuff about love and how he was selfish and he understood, which I was thankful for cause I still didn’t,” he joked.

“Then what?”

“I told him I was coming out to apologize and I still loved him and I was stupid. Then we kissed and came back inside,”

“And things have been okay since?”

“Perfect, we’re both braver this time and we communicate more,” he nodded. “I think we needed to break up to realize that we really wanted to be together,”

“Aren’t you scared?” Michael asked.

“Of what?”

“You were each other’s first real everything ya know? What if… what if one day you wake up and realize that you want to test the waters somewhere else?”

“I don’t think it’ll happen, for me at least. Ray was with Tina and he’s kissed Gavin, and he still picked me and I don’t know, I’ve wanted him since like seventh grade,”

“Well, I hope you two work out,”

“Thanks man,”

“You’re welcome,”

“What about you?”

“Hmm?”

“When do you think you’ll get tired of Gavin?” he smiled.

“I’m not dating Gavin, but I don’t think ever,”

“Really?”

“God no. He annoys the fuck out of me more often than not but he’s my boi, I’ll go to the ends of the world for him ya know?”

“You sound like you’re dating,”

“Ha. Ha,”

“Just saying,”

“Chicks not dicks,” Michael answered shrugging.

“For now,” Ryan sang.

“Shut the fuck up,” Michael laughed.

~~~

“So, you multiply these two, subtract this one from that and then you combine these two cause they’re both values of X and then you divide by this one,” Geoff said in one breath.

“I- Geoff, can we please take a break?” Gavin whined.

“Gavin come on, you have to ace this,”

“I know and I honestly believe I will but I need a break because I’m about to start screaming,”

“Fine, five minutes,” Geoff sighed flipping his book shut, papers still tucked inside.

“Why aren’t Griffon and Caiti here anyway?”

“Because Jack and I knew that they’d be distractions, apparently we didn’t take into account that the gays of the group can’t control themselves,”

“I resent that, and Michael isn’t even gay,”

“Yeah yeah,” Geoff waved him off. “Griffon had to cover a shift at work and Caiti wanted to study alone cause she knew she’d jump Jack,”

“Smart,”

“Yeah, she, unlike you, knows that she can’t control herself around the man she loves,”

“Shut up!” Gavin cried. “I’m not in love with him anymore,”

“Ha! I’ll believe it when Ryan punches Ray in the face,”

“That’s not gonna happen,”

“Exactly,” Geoff deadpanned. Neither spoke for a few minutes, Gavin just picked at the splintered wood of his pencil.

“Geoff,” he whispered eventually.

“What’s up Gavvy?”

“Do you want to marry Griffon?”

“You bet your little ass I do,”

“Why?”

“Are you trying to talk shit about my girlfriend or something?”

“No, no!” Gavin squeaked waving his hands in front of him. “I just mean, how do you know she’s the one you want to marry?”

“She’s the first girl I have ever met that captured me instantly,” he said confidently. “I couldn’t function around her and she never stops surprising me ya know? Like every day I talk to her feels like it’s the first time and we’re still in that flirting stage,”

“That’s cute,”

“I just, I don’t think I’ll ever be happy with anyone else. And I know, we’re young and we’ll fight and deal with challenges as we grow up and branch out and shit, but… I don’t know, I want my crazy beautiful, scary talented girlfriend to be with me forever,”

“That was absolutely sickening,” the brunette said pretending to gag.

“Please, it’s not nearly as bad as watching you and Michael skirt around each other,”

“Geoff, its not- we aren’t,”

“Gavin, you don’t need to hide this shit from me,”

“I’m not trying to hide it,”

“Then why are you denying it?”

“Because maybe if I say it enough I’ll believe it,” Gavin admitted. He looked mad, but he kept his voice calm, eyes trained on Geoff.

“Gavin,” he sighed.

“No, it’s- I’m pathetic. I’m in love with a straight man and I’m letting it hold me back and scare me an-“

“Hold you back?”

“You’re not gonna like it,”

“Oh Christ,” Geoff said slapping his palm on his hand. “Caleb?”

“Yes,”

“I’m gonna spare you the lecture that you’ll probably end up hearing later anyway and say that its okay. This is your choice and I’ll support no matter what you do,”

“Really?”

“Yes, I wish that you’d get with literally anyone else, but if he fucks up again I’ll rip his throat out,”

“Nothing is certain,”

“I know, maybe Michael will get his head out of his ass, maybe Caleb is the guy you marry, maybe Ray and Jack run into the sunset, anything is possible. I just don’t want you to look over other possibilities because of the mixed messages you get from your best friend,”

“I know, I think I’ll be okay,”

“I believe in you,”

“Thanks Geoff,”

“I didn’t do shit,”

“Well, you do something,” Gavin confessed, reaching out to press his hand against Geoff’s arm.

~~~

“You guys had sex!” Ray yelled when Jack told him. The two had completely given up on homework the instant they sat on Jack’s bed, opting to lay down and relax.

“What like you and Ryan haven’t?”

“No! Not even close,”

“Why not?”

“I- we- Griffon and Geoff didn’t even have sex for like a million years,”

“Oh Ray, the sooner you learn that not every relationship moves at the same speed the better,”

“I just- why?”

“Why did we have sex?”

“Yeah,”

“Because we’re in love? Because we both wanted it and decided that we wanted to be able to say we were each other’s firsts?” he stated them more like questions.

“I mean, how did you know that?” Ray asked shaking his head.

“We were hanging out the other night and she suddenly decided she wanted to camp at the beach. We went and made a sand castle and I- she told me she loved me. I can’t explain. We got back to the car and we realized it was just right,”

“Was it weird?”

“A little,” he admitted rubbing the back of his neck.

“Neither of us really knew what to do so we just kinda fumbled around for a bit until we could find a way that worked. We stopped in the middle and laughed for like five minutes, but it was nice,”

“Why did you start laughing?” Ray asked tilting his head.

“A seagull landed on the hood,”

“Hilarious,” Ray deadpanned.

“Long story,” Jack waved him off. “But yeah, it was really nice. There’s something really, amazing, about sharing that with someone you love,”

“I guess,”

“Don’t worry, you’ll know soon enough,”

“Oh God, has Ryan been talking to you or something?”

“No no,” Jack laughed. “You’re good, and even if he did, that’s up to you and him separately and together, if one of you is out then you both are,”

“How do you have that talk though? Like how do you just casually mention you’re ready for the next step?”

“In the moment it feels as casual as saying your arm is itchy,”

“I’ll take your word for it,”

“So how are things with Ryan lately?”

“They’re great, we’re honestly better than we were before,” he gushed.

“Really? Wouldn’t have guessed that,”

“Understandable, but, he’s just been so cuddly and so open since we got back together. Our communication skills have never been this good,”

“And yet you’re worried about having the sex talk,”

“Okay, talking about sex is a lot different than talking about why you love each other and shit,”

“If you love each other it shouldn’t be a hassle, just saying,”

“We’ll get there,” Ray said confidently. “We’re both awkward, but obviously we’ll get there,”

“Why do you think it’s so weird?”

“What do you mean?”

“You’re just so freaked out about this, like, did something happen? Do you think you’re not into gay sex?”

“Oh I’m into it alright,” he said without hesitation causing Jack to roll over laughing. “It’s just weird cause Ryan is like a giant teddy bear most of the time, so when he goes into _that_ mode it’s… odd,”

“Mode? What the fuck is your life a video game?”

“Shut up I’m dumb,”

“You’re not dumb, you’re… weird,”

“That’s worse!”

“Shut up, let’s go see if the others are done torturing themselves,” he stood up holding his hand out for Ray. “I’m banishing school work to my room for the rest of the night,”

“I love you,” Ray said seriously, jumping at the taller boy and wrapping his body entirely around him.

“Love you too buddy,” Jack laughed patting him on the back.

They walked downstairs loudly so by the time they got to the kitchen Geoff and Gavin were looking up at them with annoyed expressions.

“It is a Friday night, we have two more days to study before finals start so I am declaring study night over,” he said moving to the table and grabbing their books before they could even register the words.

“Whoa wait,” Geoff stood up reaching for the book only for his wrist to be grabbed by Gavin.

“Geoffrey, I love you, but if you make us study anymore I think I’m going to burn this house to the ground, which would be a shame because Jack’s parents have done a lovely job on it,”

“But-“

“Two more days,” Ray pleaded.

“Okay,” Geoff sighed. “Let’s just watch a movie,”

“Success!” Ray yelled running to the basement door and ripping it open, taking the steps two at a time, nearly falling three times.

He walked downstairs to see Michael and Ryan bent over a science book and talking loudly. It sounded forced.

“Ah yes, that’s why the flower photosynthesizes,” Michael nodded turning towards the staircase, smiling awkwardly before he realized who it was.

“Study time is over,” he announced.

“God dammit Ray! You can’t rip the door open like that you scared the shit out of us,”

“We thought you were Geoff,” Ryan laughed, shutting the book.

“Sorry,” he laughed. “I’m confiscating your books and back packs,” he said then, grabbing their black bags off the floor and walking with his hands out for their text books on the table.

“Why?”

“Jack has banned studying for the remainder of our stay here,” he said in a posh British accent.

“What a nice man,” Michael said wistfully crossing his hand over his heart.

“Oh I know, Gavin nearly cried in relief,”

“I can only imagine how it was for him, he was stuck with the hard ass,” Ryan laughed.

“Heard that!” Geoff called from the top of the stairs.

“I’d say sorry but it’s true,” Ryan answered.

“He has a point,” Gavin said loudly, followed by a thumping sound and an ‘ow.’

Ray turned to go upstairs with their books but Ryan was quick to take them from his hands and hold his other arm out for their bags.

“I’ll take them,” he said to his boyfriend’s confused look, kissing him on the forehead. “Go relax,”

Michael gagged loudly, but he patted the seat next to him anyway, smiling. “How much studying did you actually do?” he asked.

“None,” Ray said honestly. “We just started talking about life and shit,”

“Dude same,” Michael laughed. “I can only take so much school work outside of school before I’m ready to run into traffic,”

“Well I’m glad we all made it out alive,”

“Alright bitches!” Geoff said as he ran down the stairs.

“What took you guys so long?” Michael asked when they were all back together.

“We ordered take out, and Jack had to make sure that all of our things were hidden expertly,” Gavin explained flopping himself down in Michael’s lap.

“What movie are we watching?” Ryan asked flinging an arm around Ray’s shoulders.

“We should watch the Notebook!” his boyfriend said eagerly.

“What the fuck?” Michael said from under Gavin, but made no move to push the Brit off.

“I’m with him,” Gavin said.

“That’s a sappy chick flick,”

“I don’t know about you guys,” Jack said, “but Ray and I had a very chick flick talk so I’m agreeing too,”

“Ahh fuck it,” Geoff shrugged. “Gavin and I were quite sappy,”

“Well when you think about it…” Ryan trailed off looking at Michael.

“Dammit, yeah,” the redhead agreed.

“Yay!” Ray cheered, moving to grab the remote.

“Wait!” Geoff yelled standing up. “No one tells any of the girls about this. The _last_ thing I need is Griffon making fun of me for watching the Notebook with my guy friends,”

“I’m with Geoff on that one,” Jack pointed.

“Fine fine, we won’t tell your girlfriends that you’re actually into dicks,” Michael laughed.

“You’ve got a lot more to lose kid,” Geoff warned.

“What does that even mean?”

“Put the stupid movie on, the pizza should be here soon,” he said stomping up the stairs.

 

By the time the movie was over the only one left awake was Geoff who sat watching his friends in the dark. Jack was sound asleep next to him, neck bent at an angle that would definitely be sore in the morning. Ray and Ryan were curled up in the recliner as usual, only they weren’t reclining, they were sitting straight up, Ray’s head over his boyfriend’s heart. On the loveseat next to them was Gavin and Michael, mouths open, snoring lightly. Gavin’s head was on Michael’s shoulder, arms crossed over his chest and Michael’s head was resting on Gavin’s, arms around the Brits torso.

He just reached for the remote, turning the TV off to silence the title page for the movie and shook his head at the sight.

~~~

The words ‘we need to talk’ are always frightening. Whether it’s from your parents, teacher, friend, or significant other it makes your heart skip a beat and your head feel dizzy. So when Caiti approached Jack at his locker Monday after their first packed day of finals only saying those four words Jack felt like his head was going to explode.

They walked through the wings of the school while kids filed out until they entered the art section, stopping in front of the photography classroom by the back doors.

“Are you okay?” he asked, handing reaching for her arm, landing softly afraid she’d pull back.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I just… I had to tell you something,”

“Are you breaking up with me?”

“Oh God no,” she said quickly stepping closer to him and taking both his hands in hers. “I- my host parents talked to me a few weeks ago. The forms for next year came in and they had been debating for a while but they ended up figuring out that they wouldn’t be able to afford it again,”

“Are you saying?”

“I don’t think I’m coming back next year,”

Jack felt like he had been punched in the gut. The school year was quickly coming to an end, prom was in two weeks and only another month after that and they’d be trapped in summer. Caiti was supposed to return home the week after school ended and come back the week before it started, but now…

“Did you know when we went to the beach?”

“Yes,”

“Is that why you…”

“Yes,” she said again.

“Do you regret it?”

“Never,” she shook her head vigorously.

“What do you wanna do?”

“I love you,” she stated. “I want to stay with you, but long distance relationships are hard,”

“Do you honestly believe we can make it work?”

“Statistically speaking-“

“Do _you_ think we can make this work?” he repeated.

“I believe in us,” she said bluntly. “I think we can,”

“Then, we make it work,” he shrugged. “We have some time left together and after that we figure it out step by step, you can come visit sometimes, I’ll come at others, it’ll be okay,” he told her.

“You promise? Jack I don’t want you waiting around for me or something if you meet someone here,”

“Caiti, I love you, I want you, let’s just see how this plays out,” he said honestly.

“Okay,” she nodded.

He kissed her hard in the middle of the empty hallway, surrounded by photographs and paintings by the more artistic students in the building, but none of those things mattered to Jack. The only thing he cared about was the girl in his arms.

~~~

“That one’s not bright enough,” Jack told Geoff.

“Dude, I can’t help you then. Griffon is simpler,”

“I’m not asking you to try and understand my girlfriend and her interests. I’m just asking you to pick a ring with some color,”

“What about this one?” Geoff asked finally, pointing at a ring in the case with a pink flower in the center.

“I think you’re onto something,”

“Anything I can help you with?” a middle aged woman asked as she walked over.

“Can I see that one?” Jack asked pointing at the promise ring in the case.

She pulled it out and carefully handed it to him. He took it from her delicately looking over the stone in the center. “Can I get it engraved?” he asked.

“Of course,”

“Then this is the one,” he grinned.

“Glad to hear it!” the woman said, her name tag read _Jessica_ , “What’s the occasion?”

“My girlfriend is going back to Australia soon and I wanted to give her this,”

“That is so romantic, I wish my husband would’ve done that when I went to study abroad,” she laughed.

“You did long distance?” he asked tilting his head.

“Yes, and it was hell,” she said honestly causing Jack’s face to pale. “Not like that,” she waved at him, “I mean that, sometimes all we wanted was to be with each other you know? But it made our love stronger. I think every couple needs to be away from each other for a while,”

Jack just nodded at her, turning to where Geoff was previously standing only to see him leaning over a different display case. One full of engagement rings.

“Excuse me a moment,” he told Jessica, moving across the room to grab his best friend’s arm. “Don’t even think about it, you’re literally twelve years old,”

“I’m about to be eighteen,” he argued letting himself be dragged.

“That’s nice, you aren’t proposing anytime soon though,” he said sweetly coming back to the counter where Jessica was setting up paperwork.

“One day,” he said wistfully.

“Alright, just write down what you want the ring to say and your number and we will call you,”

“Thank you so much,” he smiled, taking the pen from her hand and beginning to fill it out.

Geoff stood silently next to him, but his eyes kept drifting from the display case of promise rings and the engagement ring case. He couldn’t decide which one called to him more.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay? A lot more happened than I was originally planning and yes in the last chapter the paper Griffon gave Geoff for Christmas already had some drawings on it that he has tattooed on his knuckles so that is what I mentioned earlier just so there's no confusion!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is kind of a short chapter but I think I've done all I can with it.   
> I hope you enjoy and next chapter will wrap up junior year and the summer before senior year so I hope you all enjoy that as well. Senior year is the big one and I've been waiting so damn long for it.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Michael readjusted his jacket for the third time, smoothing it out and buttoning it up. He looked at the mop of curls on his head and sighed. “I look like shit,” he whined turning to face Geoff, Jack and Ryan.

“Who are you trying to impress?” Ryan asked.

“It’s prom,”

“You’re going with Gavin,”

“So?”

“He’s not gonna care what you look like, so why bother worrying?”

“Cause I still wanna look decent,” Michael rolled his eyes.

“Honestly, I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s gonna be dark and there’s gonna be screaming kids everywhere,”

“Just, someone help me,” he said finally, looking at Jack with wide eyes.

“I’ll be right back,” the ginger haired boy said, walking out of the room and returning a few minutes later with a comb, hair spray and a small bowl of water.

“How’s that-“

“Just shut up,” Jack said calmly, grabbing Michael by the shoulders and steering him towards the couch.

It took ten minutes and a lot of cursing from Michael as Jack pulled on his tangled hair, but eventually he was satisfied with small curls, agreeing with the others that it was time for a haircut.

“We’ve got five minutes,” Geoff clapped, tightening his tie up and making sure his cuffs were buttoned shut.

“I’m really nervous,” Ryan admitted, fiddling with his bow tie.

“Why?”

“I want it to be nice for Ray,”

“It will be, if it sucks leave,”

“We’re already planning our back up,”

“You gonna go bang?”

“No,” Ryan said quickly. “We are just gonna hang out at home, no banging,”

“If you say so,” Geoff sang.

“Shut up,” he mumbled. There was a knock on the door that made them all pause, turning to Geoff curiously.

“I’ll get it,” Michael said since he was the closest. “You got us a limo?” Michael asked when he pulled the door open to find a man in a suit.

“Fuck yeah,” Geoff cheered.

“Christ,” Jack laughed.

“So, first Griffon, then Ray, Caiti and finally Gavin,”

“Sounds good. Are we all set or did your mom wanna take a million pictures?”

“Well, I know Griffon’s mom is gonna be taking some and I assume the others are in the same boat so…” Geoff shrugged.

They filed out of the house and into the car, settling into the fine leather seats and waiting for their driver to take off.

“This is awesome,” Michael said playing with the sound system.

“Do the others know?”

“Nope, I kept it top secret,” Geoff smirked, clearly proud of himself.

“Good job,”

The drive to Griffon’s wasn’t long and soon Geoff was stepping out of the limo, corsage box in hand, and telling the others he’d be right back. He fixed his tie and walked up the driveway. Her mom opened the door after he knocked and he was welcomed inside with a hug, turning to shake her dad’s hand before he heard the click of heels on tiled floor and looked up to see Griffon at the top of the staircase.

He felt like he couldn’t breathe. Her dress was a light blue that matched his vest and tie at the bottom, coming up to a slick black at her chest. She walked slowly, big grin almost splitting her face. Geoff was in awe. The flash of a camera brought him out of his trance, turning to find Griffon’s mom holding a camera. She just grinned at him and snapped another one.

The second she stepped down he was reaching for her, taking her hand in his and bringing her into a sweet kiss, one that her parents wouldn’t mind.

“You look beautiful,” he whispered when they pulled apart, admiring the way her cheeks turned pink. She just giggled and looked away before she looked around and remembered something.

“Mom, can you hand me the boutonniere?” she asked, reaching excitedly for the small flower on the counter. Her mom handed it to her. It was a simple white rose, one to match the one in Geoff’s hand.

“Wait, let me take more pictures!” her mom cried, holding the camera to her eye. “Go,”

Griffon just rolled her eyes and turned to her boyfriend, letting him take her hand and slip her wristlet on. There were a few more snaps as she gave him his.

Soon they were standing in front of the door with their arms around each other while her mom directed them in different poses and expressions. Finally Griffon waved her arms in front of them and reached for the door.

“We’ve gotta go,”

“Oh okay,” her mom said sounding disappointed. Geoff almost felt bad.

“Be careful,”

“I will daddy,” she said, reaching to kiss her father on the cheek and take Geoff’s hand again.

“Have a good night,”

“See you later,”

When the door was safely shut behind them Griffon let out a sigh. “Freedom,” she said. “Whoa, you got a limo,”

“Yeah,”

He still felt like he was in a fog. This girl standing in front of him, sliding into the limo and greeting their friends with her award winning smile, she was his. She was his girlfriend. Anyone could look at her and admire her beauty, but _he_ got to be the one to kiss her and love her every single day.

“You look awesome,” Michael complimented.

“Thanks cutie,” she winked. Geoff pretended to be angry, lunging forward at the redhead, but Griffon’s hand on his chest set him back.

When they got to Ray’s house Ryan stepped out, small red rose in hand and made his way up the walkway to his boyfriend’s front door. He fixed his red bowtie one more time before Ray was opening the door and smiling up at him.

“Hey,” Ryan grinned, leaning down to kiss him.

“My mom’s more excited than any of us are,” Ray whispered when they pulled away, stepping back and motioning Ryan inside.

“My handsome boys,” Ray’s mom sniffled when they walked in.

“Mom,” Ray rolled his eyes. “It’s not a big deal,”

“Baby, this is your junior prom,” Ray didn’t answer her, just reached for the red rose waiting by the door and turned to Ryan. They had both gone for matching suits, black with red vests. Ray got a regular red tie and Ryan, a bow tie.

His mom took her camera while they placed the flowers on each other’s jackets, grinning up at each other while she cooed.

“One more,” she begged when Ray stepped away. “Just one,” she whispered, holding a finger up in front of her grinning mouth.

“Fine,” Ray sighed.

“Give us a kiss,” she sang, holding the camera up and counting down from three. Ryan turned to Ray and leaned down, hands clasped between them while their lips met shortly. The flash went off and they pulled away, both of their faces red.

“Bye mom,”

“Bye kids,” she waved excitedly, waving in the general direction of the limo, unable to tell if the others were waving back because of the tinted windows.

“Sorry, moms little boy is all grown up,” Ryan teased when they finally slid in. They shuffled around so Michael and Jack were closest to the doors and started driving towards Caiti’s house after giving their driver the directions.

“She’s been freaking out all day. I wasn’t gonna start getting ready at three but she came crashing in like a tornado and started throwing my tux parts at me,”

“Shit dude,” Michael laughed.

“She’s excited, leave her alone,” Griffon told him. “My mom took me for hair and makeup at two, and _then_ she took me to lunch. It’s kinda hard to eat when your lips have a fresh coat of gloss on them,”

“You look amazing,” Ray said suddenly, reaching out to run his hand over the fabric of her dress.

“And so do you, so appreciate Mama Narvaez,” she stuck her tongue out.

Jack was silent for the ride to Caiti’s house, playing with his bow tie and smoothing out his vest under his open jacket.

“What’s up Jack?” Ryan asked when he noticed the other’s hesitance when they reached his girlfriend’s house.

“I’m catching my breath now because I know that girl will take it,” he grinned, taking one more breath and opening the door. “Wish me luck,”

“That was too cute,” Griffon cooed when he walked out.

“He’s been so excited,” Geoff confessed. “He calls me every night to talk about it and his tux,” he rolled his eyes.

“Precious,” Griffon said wistfully. “She called me last night freaking out cause she didn’t know if her dress was gonna look nice with his suit,”

“Aw, look,” Ray pointed at the house, just as Jack was greeted by Caiti at the door. Her host parents weren’t home so she stepped out under the porch light and hugged him. Her gold gown flowed effortlessly to the ground, sequins lining her chest glinting in the dull yellow light. Jack reached up and fixed his tie again, taking her hand and kissing it before slipping her yellow orchid corsage on. She giggled at him and wasted no time pinning his matching flower to his jacket.

“They’re so cute,” Michael gagged.

Caiti took Jack’s hand and started making her way down the porch when he held her back, pulling her under the lights and taking his phone out. She just shook her head at him, laughing but stood with his arm around her for the first selfie and then kissed him for another.

“Disgusting,” Geoff mumbled when he got in, but he smiled at the golden couple to show he was kidding.

“Let’s get my boi!” Michael cheered then, calling the address out and leaning back. He wouldn’t admit it but everyone could tell he was nervous.

Geoff had been the one to call the swing set meeting the night before, but it was more out of boredom than actually having a problem. Still though Michael came running and stayed long after Geoff told him he was lying about the emergency part.

They talked mindlessly for a while before Michael confessed that he was worried about taking Gavin to prom. When Geoff asked why he didn’t get an answer he was expecting.

“I’m worried that if Gavin shows up with a guy Matt and Jeremy will make it hell, and I want his prom to be special,”

“Dude, you guys are gonna be with us. Ray and Ryan are going and they don’t care,”

“I know, but they’re in a relationship, and they haven’t really targeted Ray,”

“Just, go. Have a good ass time and hang out with your best friend,”

“Okay,”

“Slow dance with him, make out with him, and bang him, whatever,”

“Maybe I’ll dance with him, but I don’t know about the rest,”

“Look, just. Don’t let assholes ruin high school for you. They’ve already gotten in the way of a lot of shit. Take this one,”

“Okay,”

Geoff was expecting Michael to tell him he didn’t want people thinking he was gay and dating Gavin. So when he explained the situation Geoff couldn’t help but be knocked over with a wave of affection. When they hugged goodbye Geoff held just a little tighter, not that Michael noticed.

When they pulled up in front of Gavin’s house Michael adjusted his clothes one more time and slid out of the car, shutting the door and practically skipping up the walkway. Gavin’s mom answered the door with a grin.

“Well, don’t you look dashing?”

“Thank you,”

“Gavin will be down in a minute, he suddenly found that his hair wasn’t up to standard,”

“What does that even mean?”

“I have no clue,”

Mr. Free came out of the living room then, shaking Michael’s hand and smiling at him. “Any plans for after prom?”

“Not really, just gonna play it by ear,” he shrugged.

“Take care of our boy, he’s really excited,”

“I will, I’m pumped,” he admitted. There was a creaking sound from upstairs and they all turned to find Gavin at the top of the stairs, dusting his shoulders off, not paying them any mind.

“Oh honey,” his mom breathed. He looked up, face turning pink when he caught sight of Michael at the bottom of the stairs, white tulip in hand.

“Oh sorry,” he mumbled, stepping off the landing and down to his family and date. Michael had yet to move, face bright red at his best friend in a snug black suit, blue vest and green necklace dangling by his collarbones. When Gavin was standing in front of him Michael reached out to fix it absentmindedly. “Hi Michael,” he whispered, hand coming to land on Michael’s waist. The redhead snapped up then, body feeling hot where the Brit touched him.

“Hi Gav,” he mumbled. “Your hair looks great,” he said when he took in the feathery look the boy was sporting.

“Thanks,”

“You two look amazing,” Mrs. Free gushed, reaching out to push them both closer together. “Let me get some pictures before you go off,”

“Sorry, she’s really excited,” Gavin murmured. Michael just nodded and wrapped his arm around the boy’s waist, tugging him into his side so they fit like a puzzle, smiling at Mrs. Free’s red camera.

She took five before she told them they could exchange boutonnieres, holding the camera up patiently. Michael turned to Gavin shyly, holding the flower up and pinning it to his chest. Gavin just giggled, face red and did the same, smoothing his hands down Michael’s shoulders when he was done.

“Perfect,” she sighed when they were done. “Absolutely beautiful,”

“Okay… Bye mom,” Gavin said quickly, taking Michael’s hand and reaching for the door.

“Be careful, don’t leave each other’s side,”

“Dad, its prom not a music festival,”

“Just, be careful,”

“I’ll text you when I figure out when I’ll be home,”

“Okay, are you spending the night Michael?”

“Probably,” he shrugged, stumbling when Gavin tugged on his sleeve. “Have a good night,” he smiled.

“You too sweetie,”

They walked out of the house, hands linked and faces red. Ray whistled at them from the limo, laughing when Gavin stopped in his tracks at the sight. “Why is there a limo in my driveway?”

“Geoff got it,”

“Sick,” Gavin whispered, letting Michael tug him the rest of the way. They slid in and shut the door telling their driver they were all set to head to the school.

“Gavin, you look amazing,” Griffon cooed, reaching out to run her fingers along his fringe. He swatted her away and melted into Michael’s side. Neither one seemed to mind that their hands were still clasped tightly in Michael’s lap.

“You guys excited?” Geoff asked eyes mainly on the redhead. He looked up at Geoff, cheeks a light pink.

“Oh of course,” Gavin answered.

“Who do you think King and Queen will be?” Jack asked when things settled down.

“Geoff and Griffon,” Ray said bored.

“Really?”

“Well yeah, you guys have been together forever. You’re one of the most popular couples in school,”

“I don’t think so,” Griffon shook her head. “We’re kind of obnoxious,”

“Kind of?”

“Shut up!” she laughed, pushing at Gavin’s shoulder.

“Here we are,” their driver cut in suddenly. They looked out their windows to see their school, packed with people in gowns and tuxedos, balloons on either side of the door.

“Oh boy,” Geoff laughed. “This is gonna be a shit show,”

“You know it,” Ray said, motioning for Michael to open the door. He slid out first, fixing the collar of his jacket while he waited for Ryan to get out. They linked arms and stepped aside, waiting for the rest of their friends.

Jack and Caiti followed, turning to make sure the other didn’t have anything on their face and that their clothes were all smoothed out. Geoff and Griffon followed after, giggling when Geoff picked her up and spun her around. She screamed out and slapped his chest until he placed her safely on the ground and leaned into kiss her.

There were other students waiting by the doors while teachers checked their tickets, most of them were watching, curious as to who else got a limo for the event. Michael got out next, reaching for Gavin who stepped out quickly; ignoring the redhead’s outstretched hand. He walked closer to Geoff and Griffon, grinning and gesturing towards the line.

“Ready?”

“Yeah,” Geoff said curiously. Gavin ignored him, leading the way. When Geoff turned back to Michael he just shrugged and went to follow his date.

When they were all in line they made small talk, greeting other people from their class that joined the line or walked past them. Barbara and Aaron stopped for a few minutes, looking slick in their black and silver outfits. They left quickly since they were on the student council and needed to greet people at the front. Meg and Lindsay arrived shortly after, standing behind them in line in their purple and red dressed, red rose corsages adorning their wrists.

“Gavin you look great. I should’ve snagged you when I had the chance,” Meg said.

“You did?” Ray mumbled confused.

“Well, I meant for prom…” she giggled.

“Oh…” Things got awkward for a few minutes before Miles, Kerry, Arryn and Tina arrived, loud voices heard over the entire class.

“What’s wrong?” Michael whispered to Gavin as they got closer to the front.

“Nothing, why?”

“You’re just being weird,”

“Oh, sorry,” the Brit smiled. Michael narrowed his eyes at him and reached for his hand, holding tight when the Brit tried to pull away.

“That’s what I mean,”

“I just- there are tons of people around,” Gavin said nervously, looking around for other wondering eyes.

“So?”

“I- you don’t mind?”

“Gavin, you’re my best friend and my date. Obviously I’m gonna want people to know,” he winked.

“Okay,” Gavin blushed.

They made it to the front, letting go of each other to hand their tickets to their principal, but as soon as they stepped away they linked again walking into the gym where people were already dancing dirtily to the fast paced music blasting through the speakers.

“I don’t really want to grind with anyone,” Gavin whispered.

“Me either,” Michael said pulling him towards a large table in the corner.

When their friends joined them they sat and talked about their friends around them for about twenty minutes before the first slow song came on. Griffon and Geoff were the first ones to stand and march out onto the floor. Jack and Caiti followed shortly after, wrapping themselves around the other and swaying with the beat.

“Fuck it,” Ryan said suddenly, grabbing Ray by the elbow and tugging him from his seat.

“I don’t dance,” Ray cried.

“Me either,”

“It’s prom, just do it,” Gavin yelled after them.

“Then come on!” Jack called back. Gavin looked at Michael, eyes wide.

“Yeah, why not?” he shrugged, sliding off his chair and holding his hand out. They walked to the floor and stood awkwardly in front of each other. “I’ll lead,”

“Okay,” Gavin said linking his hands behind Michael’s neck. They were stiff while they moved, avoiding each other’s eyes and the eyes of the kids around them.

“You guys have danced better than that before,” Griffon hissed. Michael just rolled his eyes and pulled Gavin closer, so their chests were completely flush against each other. Gavin squeaked, nose nearly poking Michael in the eye. He relaxed against the other, letting him guide them in a small circle surrounded by their friends. When the song ended they each wandered off, going to see their other friends or heading to the buffet.

“I’ll get you some punch,” Michael said, hand pushing gently against Gavin’s lower back towards the table.

He scanned the crowd for the rest of his friends when he got back to the empty table, sitting stiffly while he waited for Michael. He froze when two familiar faces walked by, laughing obnoxiously. They stopped when they saw Gavin, looking him up and down before laughing again.

“Hey Gayboy!” Jeremy shouted pulling the attention of a few surrounding students.

“Having fun Princess?” Matt added.

Gavin opened his mouth to respond when someone else beat him to it. “Is there a problem?” It was Caleb surprisingly.

“None,” Matt said quickly, stepping away from the table. He tapped Jeremy on the shoulder and nodded in the direction of their table in the far corner.

“Thanks,” Gavin mumbled.

“Having fun?”

“The night just started,” he shrugged. “Nothing amazing has happened yet so…”

“Well, I hope you’ll save a dance for me,”

“I’m here with-“

“Michael, I know. But I don’t think he’ll mind if you spend four minutes tops with me,”

“I think he will,” Michael said, finally returning and setting two cups of punch down at their seats. “Sorry, everyone decided they wanted punch suddenly,” he rolled his eyes. “Thanks for keeping him company,” he smirked at Caleb.

“No problem, enjoy your night,” he said cheerily. They all knew it was forced though.

“Michael that was rude,” Gavin hissed when the other walked away, he was trying to a hide a giggle though so Michael waved him off.

“He was stepping on my territory,”

“Shut up,”

They spent the next half hour at the table, eating snacks from the trays that people were walking around with and talking about the people around them.

When another slow song came on Michael’s hand found Gavin’s and tugged him out of his seat when he stood. They found Ray and Ryan swaying on the edge and stood next to them, making stupid faces at the couple until they’d look over and tell them to quit it.

The night was pretty… ordinary. Nothing spectacular happened. The dances were pretty filthy and when there would a slow song most couples would just take the opportunity to make out under a disco ball.

Surprisingly Miles and Arryn were crowned king and queen, stepping into the center of the crowd to share their dance. They were both embarrassed, looking mainly at the ground before back at each other, laughing and stepping closer. By the time the song was over they were snuggled close together, finishing with a kiss while those around them cheered.

There were two hours left, but the boys, Caiti and Griffon found that they spending more time at the table than on the dance floor. There were empty plates and cups scattered in front of them, their small vase of fake flowers had been knocked over by Michael long ago and they had all kicked their shoes off to soothe their aching feet at some point or another.

“I’m exhausted,” Griffon mumbled to her boyfriend.

“Me too,” he said honestly leaning back in his chair to relax. His eyes were starting to slide shut.

“Do you wanna go home?” she whispered, leaning on his shoulder.

“Does anyone else?”

“Guys,” Griffon said, bringing the rest of the table’s attention to her. “Does anyone else wanna go home?”

After everyone confirmed with their dates they turned back to Griffon with nods and started to stand. They cleaned up their mess and made their way to the trashcans by the exit and searched for their other friends. They stopped to say goodbye to Barbara and Aaron, dancing close by the speaker system, Meg and Lindsay who were still going strong on the outskirts of the dance floor and Miles and Arryn who were sitting at their table with Kerry and Tina, congratulating them one more time before they left the venue.

“If you leave you can’t come back,” chaperones warned as they passed. Geoff just waved them off and pulled his phone out, texting their driver to meet them at the door.

They piled in and gave the address to Ryan’s house first. “That was pretty lame,” Griffon broke the silence.

“It was nice,” Caiti shrugged.

“Do you guys wanna do something fun?” Gavin asked.

“Beach?” Ryan offered as they pulled into his neighborhood.

“Sure,”

“Ray and I will meet you there then,” he slid out, calling out a ‘thank you’ to their driver and a ‘see you later’ to their friends.

“Should we change?” Ray asked, pulling at his jacket.

“Don’t bother,” he said, opening his front door to grab his keys and two bottles of water. His parents were sound asleep so he didn’t bother leaving a note, walking back outside and heading for his car.

He stopped Ray when he went to pass him, backing him up against the hood and grabbing him by the tie, pulling him closer. “I’ve wanted to do this all night,” he murmured kissing the smaller boy softly. Ray just hummed against his mouth, hands coming to rest on Ryan’s shoulders. He stood on the tips of his toes to get a better angle and keep their mouths pressed together longer.

“You look really good in that suit,” he mumbled against Ryan’s mouth. The other boy smiled, reconnecting their mouths, hands coming to Ray’s waist to lift him onto the car fully. He moved his hands back to the front of Ray’s jacket, undoing the two large buttons and shoving it off his shoulders.

Ray undid the boy’s bowtie, letting it hang loosely around his neck, hands sliding down to his hips. “We’re gonna be late,”

“Don’t care,” Ryan whispered, lips trailing down Ray’s jaw and neck. He stepped between the boy’s legs, hands pulling Ray’s shirt out of his pants to feel his skin. Ray jumped when the cool air brushed his stomach, followed by Ryan’s even colder fingertips.

“You’re freezing,”

“Warm me up then,” Ryan mumbled kissing his way back to Ray’s lips again.

They kissed until they felt a vibration in Ray’s pocket and jumped away from each other, lips red and necks covered in dark red splotches. “Caiti says they’re on their way to the beach,”

“We better get going then,” Ryan smirked, kissing Ray one more time before picking him up off the car and setting him on the ground. They took their time fixing themselves up, tucking their shirts in and doing their buttons before getting in the car and starting the long drive to the beach.

“Think they’ll know?” Ray asked, looking in the mirror at his noticeable bruises.

“Absolutely,” he laughed.

~~~

“See you guys later,” Jack called, shutting the door and watching it drive in the direction of Michael’s house.

“Do you have something I can change into?” Caiti asked looking down at her dress.

“You don’t wanna go in that?”

“Should I?”

“I don’t see why not, I’m not changing yet,”

“Okay,” she shrugged, waiting by the door while he ran inside and grabbed his keys.

They slid in the car and pulled out of his driveway hands linked over the center console. “Wanna text Ray that we’ll be there soon?”

She took her phone out of her purse and sent the text, turning to Jack. “When we leave the beach can we go to the twenty four hour diner?”

“Okay?”

“I really want a milkshake,” she admitted, giggling when he looked at her oddly.

“Anything for you,” he laughed.

Her phone buzzed in her lap pulling her attention away from Jack and the road. “They’re stopping for gas,” she announced.

“Yeah, we might have to too actually,” he said when they reached town, flipping his blinker on and pulling into the nearest station. “Oh damn,” he said, pointing at Ray and Ryan walking out with plastic bags in both their hands.

“Long time no see,”

“Did you _just_ leave?” Caiti asked looking at the two blushing boys.

“Uh, yeah,”

“We got a little… distracted,” Ryan said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. Caiti took in their disheveled appearances and the rest of their necks and smirked.

“I see,”

“Shut up,” Ray muttered, opening the back door and setting their bags of snacks inside.

“Should we just text the others to meet us here too?” Jack asked casually, pulling his wallet out of his pocket and heading for the door.

“I’ll text Gavin and Griffon,” Caiti answered. “Get me a Twix!”

“Will do,”

Soon Michael and Gavin were pulling in and stepping out, still in their tuxes. Michael moved to the pump, handing Gavin and twenty and sending him inside for snacks while he filled the tank.

“Snazzy,” Caiti whistled when Gavin walked by her. She left the car to link her arms with the Brit and walk him inside. Jack had returned outside and moved his car to an actual spot along with Ray and Ryan little bit ago so now they just stood around drinking sodas while they waited for the final couple to join them.

“How was your night by the way?” Caiti asked while they scanned the coolers for drinks.

“It was nice,” he blushed.

“Do you have a boyfriend now?”

“Caiti, it was just a dance as friends. We aren’t gonna magically be together,”

“That’s bullshit,”

“He’s straight,”

“You’re delusional,”

“You live in a fantasy world,”

“Well, you’re walking around with your eyes closed,”

“I want redbull,” Gavin said instead, ignoring their argument and opening one of the fridges.

Caiti just hummed, feeling victorious when the bell above the door opened and Griffon walked over, still in her gown as well. “Wow,” she said when she took in the other two.

“What?”

“We’re all too lazy to change into clothes knowing that we’ll probably ruin this shit,”

“We can skinny dip,” Caiti offered, face going red. “I mean-“ she face palmed.

“I’m telling them you said that,” Griffon laughed, reaching past both of the boys to grab some water and redbulls out of the fridge and swinging it shut.

They walked up and down the aisles a few times for anything else they might want before finally Michael was opening the doors and calling out to them. “Are we going or not!”

“Coming!” Gavin answered, walking to the counter.

“I bet,” Griffon mumbled earning an elbow in the gut from the Brit.

They walked out and greeted each other, sitting in the parking lot for another few minutes before Geoff declared that it was a race and the last ones there had to jump in the ocean naked. Michael, Jack and Ryan jumped behind the wheel eagerly and waited for everyone else.

“Go!” Geoff yelled out his window, starting his car and backing out. Everyone else followed with shouts and cheers, trying to get in front on the one way street out of town.

“We can win this,” Michael said when Gavin told him to slow down.

“Not if we’re dead,” Gavin rolled his eyes.

“Shhh, I wouldn’t do anything that would put you in danger,”

“Sure,”

“Just put some music on and shut up,”

When they pulled onto the highway they took turns passing each other and swearing out their windows, until of course they came out of a bend and saw a cop car on the side of the road, waiting.

“We’re screwed,”

“Not us,” Michael said when they passed and blue lights flicked on.

“I think it’s us,” Gavin snapped when Michael pulled over, but the cop just whizzed past them, Ray and Ryan and Caiti and Jack, stopping behind Geoff and Griffon. Everyone else had noticed too and slowed down apparently.

“Looks like they weren’t paying attention,” Michael smirked, pulling back on the road casually and going a little under the speed limit until the cop was far out of sight.

Ryan and Ray were in the lead by then, Jack and Caiti right behind them, but Michael would settle for third if it meant they didn’t need to jump naked into the ocean.

“I hope they don’t get in too much trouble,” Gavin mumbled, pulling his phone from his pocket to send a text to Griffon.

“I think they’ll be fine, Geoff is good at bullshitting,”

They were on a long stretch of highway when they saw headlights behind them, high beams flashing. “No way,” Gavin laughed looking behind them.

“Think it’s them?”

“It has to be,”

“God dammit,” Michael sighed, pushing harder on the gas.

They made it there ten minutes later, pulling in with Geoff hot on their wheels. He and Griffon were laughing their asses off when they pulled in, getting out of the car and already starting to take their clothes off, accepting their loss.

“What happened?” Caiti asked, rushing over to her best friend.

“It was my uncle,” the blond girl giggled.

“Your uncle is a cop?”

“Yup, we just explained the situation and he told us to be careful but let us go,”

“Lucky pricks,” Ray muttered.

“I know, if it had been one of you you would’ve been fucked,”

“Whatever, get in the water,”

“Fine by me, I’m not ashamed,” Griffon shrugged, kicking her shoes off and letting her dress flutter to the ground. Her hair fell, brushing her shoulders before she took off her necklace and earrings, setting them on the hood of the car and starting to walk towards the water in only her undergarments.

“No one look at her,” Geoff warned, following her in his black boxers.

“Wouldn’t be her I’m looking at,” Gavin winked earning the middle finger from Geoff and an elbow from Michael.

They got to the edge of the water and stripped what was left of their clothes without hesitation reaching for the other’s hand and running into the water. Griffon squealed when the cold water lapped against her skin, Geoff was visibly shivering from where he stood, waist deep.

“Come on!” he called. “Just do it!”

“No way! We won!” Ryan yelled back.

“Pussy!”

The remaining six looked around at each other for a few seconds before Michael stepped forward, beginning to unbutton his jacket. “Fuck it,”

“Really?”

“I don’t see why not, I’ll keep my boxers on,”

“I’m in,” Ray shrugged.

“You’ll get sick,” Ryan said hand on his boyfriend’s shoulder.

“So come get sick with me,” he whined, pulling on his hand.

Ryan just looked at the sad eyes Ray gave him for a few seconds before he was sighing and reaching up to take off his bow tie. “Fine,”

“Caiti?” Jack asked turning to her.

“I will if you do,”

“Okay,”

They all turned to Gavin. “Come on,”

“Bloody hell,” he rolled his eyes. “You’re all mental,”

“Suit yourself,” Jack sang, walking around them to get to his car. He opened it and started throwing in bits of his tux until he was just in his boxers, waiting for Caiti’s dress and shoes to join.

“All those hours on hair and makeup, ruined,”

“You’ll still look stunning,” he assured, leaning down to kiss her on the nose.

“Come on!” Ray whined, standing in only his red boxers, tie hanging loosely around his neck.

“Okay okay, calm down,”

Gavin followed them down, laughing when they charged the water, startling Geoff and Griffon who were kissing passionately, still naked.

“That’s cheating!” he cried when he saw that they were still wearing clothes.

“No, loser goes naked. Winners can wear things,”

“I want my boxers,” he declared, walking out of the water with his head up, ignoring the squealing of Caiti and Gavin who were unfortunate enough to be watching him when he did it. “Griffon?”

“Yeah, get my shit,” she said following him out, sending a wink and a smirk to Gavin. “Like what you see?” she asked gesturing to herself. Gavin’s face went red, spinning on his heel to do a full one-eighty.

“Gavin, I will pull you in,” Michael warned.

“I don’t wanna, it’s cold,”

“We’ll warm you up,” Ray suggested wiggling his eyebrows.

“No, go away,” he waved them off, sitting in the sand.

“One,” Michael started, moving out of the water.

“Michael,” Gavin started.

“Two,”

“Please,” he sounded defeated when Michael was standing right above him, hair dripping down onto the Brit’s pants.

“Three,” he whispered reaching for him.

“Okay okay,” Gavin said quickly slapping the redhead’s hands from him and starting to undo his jacket buttons. His hands were shaking from half naked Michael so close to him, so eventually the redhead decided to help him, reaching down to undo his black shirts buttons while Gavin worked on his pants. It looked quite… odd.

“I feel like it’s the start to some kind of weird porno,” Ray said loudly.

“Shut up,” Gavin squawked.

“Come on,” Michael said after the other was in just his blue boxers, tugging his elbow towards the water. “It’s kinda cold,” he said when their feet were splashed. Gavin jumped and tried to pull back, but the redhead had a firm grip on him. “It’s okay,”

“I hate the ocean,” Gavin muttered, letting himself be pulled in.

“Yay!” Jack cheered when Gavin was in up to his chest. He was shaking like a leaf and his teeth were chattering loudly, but he didn’t complain.

“So,” Griffon started when they grew quiet, adjusting to the temperature. “General thoughts on prom?”

“Shitty,” Geoff said immediately.

“Five out of ten, might go again,” Ray added.

“Eh,” Gavin shrugged.

“Thought so,” Griffon laughed. “Going next year?”

“Probably not,” Michael shook his head.

“Oh come on,” Caiti cut in. “You’ve got to go to senior prom, it’s supposed to be even better,”

“You’re not even gonna be here,” Griffon told her.

“I know, but still,” she pouted.

“Maybe you can come back for prom,” Gavin said, noticing the sad look on Jack’s face at the mention of his girlfriend leaving.

“Maybe,” she nodded.

“Stop talking about sad shit, let’s just enjoy the water,” Geoff announced, grabbing Griffon around the waist and pulling her away. They ended up a few feet away, giggling into each other’s mouths at the salty taste of water on the other’s lips.

“Disgusting,” Ray gagged.

“You’re worse,” Gavin deadpanned, yelping when both Ray and Ryan splashed at him.

“Whatever,” Ryan sulked; grabbing Ray and heading back to the shore.

“They’re gonna bang,” Michael said loudly.

“Shut up,”

They laid on the shore, letting the water drip out of their hair, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of tiny grains of sand sticking to every inch of their damp bodies.

“Do you really not wanna go again?” Ryan asked.

“Depends,” he shrugged.

“On what?”

“How the rest of the year goes? Who knows, it might be a shitty year and I might wanna stay in and cry,”

“Doubt it,”

“Maybe you’ll dump me again right before and go with Gavin,” he teased, earning a handful of sand to the face. He spluttered, spitting it out and glaring at his boyfriend. “Give me a kiss,” he said leaning closer. He could still taste it in his mouth.

“No way,” Ryan leaned away only to be jumped by his boyfriend. Ray straddled his hips and pushed on his shoulders, plastering him to the sand. “Ray,” the blond warned.

“Just a little kiss,” he whispered leaning down and smashing his lips against his boyfriend’s.

“God dammit!” Ryan groaned, pushing Ray off of him and rolling them over. He turned away and spit the sand out of his mouth, glaring down at his boyfriend.

“You asked for it,” he giggled.

Ryan just smirked, hands resting on Ray’s collarbones, stroking absentmindedly across the skin. Ray looked at him suspiciously, shivering under the touch.

“Just remember,” Ryan sang. “You started it,”

Ray tried to roll away, eyes wide, but Ryan was quick, holding him down with one hand, other reaching for another handful of sand to drop on his chest. Ray struggled against him, but soon he had a good seven handfuls of sand covering his torso and Ryan hadn’t gone for his mouth or face.

“Are you… are you burying me?” he laughed.

“That is the goal,”

“You’re gonna turn me into Edgar!”

“No, I’m not digging a hole for you,”

“Help!” Ray yelled, laughing when Ryan started tickling him. They rolled away, sand sticking uncomfortably to their stomachs and legs. Jack and Caiti got out of the water and walked to them trying to see what was going on.

“You good?” Jack asked.

“He’s trying to kill me,” Ray spluttered.

“I figured this would be more important,” the ginger shrugged, taking his girlfriend’s hand and walking away.

They walked along the shore until they came to a jetty, sitting on the rocks and stretching out, waves teasing their toes. Jack wrapped an arm around her and pulled her to his chest, resting his chin on her head.

“Did you enjoy prom?”

“It was nice, not like the movies,” she shrugged.

“Is there anything I can do to make this night better for you?” he asked, hands gliding up and down her arms, stopping to massage her shoulders for a few seconds every time he came back up.

“Just keep doing what you’re doing,” she sighed, relaxing into him. He shifted so her back was pressed to his chest, letting his hands get more access to her skin.

“You looked beautiful tonight,” he murmured, brushing her hair from her neck.

“You were the real show stopper,” she giggled, tilting her head when his lips met the junction between neck and shoulder. His hands slid from her arms to her stomach, thumbs rubbing at her hips.

“It was the bow tie,”

“Absolutely,” she breathed.

“I’m gonna miss this,”

“Don’t talk about it,”

“Shouldn’t we?”

“We can talk about it tomorrow, I wanna enjoy this,”

“Okay,” he nodded against her neck, hair tickling her tan skin.

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

~~~

After much time freaking out about possible monsters in the dark water that could come and take Gavin away he finally settled in on his back and let the water push him around. He had been floating on his back for only a few seconds before he felt a hand on his ankle and opened his mouth to gasp, thrashing and sending his head underwater. The hand let go of his leg only to grab his waist and haul him upright.

“Jesus Gavin,” Michael laughed, patting him on the back.

“You scared the shit out of me,”

“Sorry, I didn’t want you drifting too far out,” he held his hands up innocently.

“Maybe some warning next time,” Gavin sighed, water dripping down his forehead and sliding across the bridge of his nose.

Gavin didn’t notice how far they were from the shore, seeing that the water was up to their chins where he stood, Michael was definitely on his tippy toes.

“Let’s head back that way,” Michael suggested, pulling Gavin by the arm towards the others.

“I don’t wanna,” the Brit declared.

“Why not,”

“It’s peaceful out here,”

“It’s safe over there,”

“Michael,” he whined.

“Gavin,”

“Just a few more minutes,”

“Not if you’re gonna be floating without paying attention,”

“I’ll walk,” he promised, crossing his arms.

“I feel like a lifeguard,”

“You don’t need to be,”

“And just let you disappear? Funny,”

“Just a few more minutes, dad!” Michael just rolled his eyes and backed away.

“It’s most one in the morning!” Geoff called out, bringing everyone’s attention to him. “Griffon and I are out!”

Everyone called their goodbyes to the couple as they waddled up the rocky paths to the parking lot. They moved their prom clothes to the back seat and climbed in. Geoff rolled the window down as he drove away and stuck his middle finger in the air, whooping as he tore down the road.

“What a loser,” Jack yelled after him.

Around two Jack and Caiti decided to call it a night started dragging their tired bodies up the small hill and to the car, waving goodbye as they drove quietly away.

“Help me bury him,” Ryan called eventually to Michael and Gavin who were lying lazily in the sand a few yards away.

Michael lifted his head up, looking over at the two before letting his head flop over to face Gavin. “Want to?”  


“Can we leave him?” Gavin asked drily.

“Up to Ryan,” the redhead shrugged, rolling over and pushing himself up. Gavin got up after him and walked over to where the other two boys were playing in the sand. Ryan was sitting on Ray’s chest, holding him still even though he had finally given up.

“This is how I die,” he muttered staring straight at the sky. He followed it with a yawn, closing his eyes and humming quietly while they got to work.

“Nice knowing you,” Michael sang scooping sand into his arms and dropping it direction on the boy’s legs.

“Not on his neck!” Ryan snapped when Gavin started patting sand over Ray’s neck, up to his chin.

“Aw,” he whispered, brushing it off.

“We aren’t actually killing him,” Ryan clarified.

“What’s the point then?”

“We’re bored?”

“Go home?”

“What time is it?” Ryan asked searching for his phone. It was lying on his discarded jacket a few feet away after he had gone for it about an hour before. “Almost two thirty. Do you wanna head out?” he asked his boyfriend who was practically already asleep, eyes drooping shut.

“Mhm,”

“Alright babe,” Ryan cooed, sweeping the sand from his boyfriend’s body and reaching under him to lift him.

Soon they were both standing in front of each other, Ryan still and awake, Ray sleepy and swaying. Ryan just shook his head at the boy and laughed, picking him up and telling him to hook his legs around his waist.

“Can one of you grab my stuff?” he asked nodding towards his phone in the sand. Gavin gathered the blonde’s things and followed him up to his car. He supposed they looked quite ridiculous, four teenage boys in their boxers playing on the beach in the middle of the night, but he found that he didn’t really care anymore.

When Ray was settled in the car, buckled in with his head bent at an odd angle, clinging to consciousness Gavin hugged Ryan goodbye and returned to Michael.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“Just a few more minutes,” Michael pouted.

“Okay,”

Michael sat in the sand by the water, letting the waves crash into him and drift back out while Gavin walked around ankle deep. He looked over at Michael once, then twice and then a third time before smiling. Michael had just opened his mouth to question him when Gavin swung his leg back and kicked water into Michael’s face.

“Gavin what the fuck!” he shouted, leaping to his feet and tackling the Brit.

“Michael, no!” he cried when they hit the ground. He flailed his arms and legs trying to get free, elbowing Michael in the stomach and taking his chance. Of course he didn’t really see where he would have any chance of escaping to so he started running into the water, diving forward when it showed resistance.

“Get back here!” Michael yelled coming after him.

See, Gavin was good at swimming, but Michael was stronger and faster so when Gavin finally slowed down to turn around it only took Michael two more strokes to reach him. He wrapped one arm around the Brit’s chest and put the other on his head pushing him underneath.

Gavin came back up spitting water out and shaking out his hair, reaching up to wipe at his stinging eyes. “Michael stop,” he hissed, turning around and shoving at the other boy.

“You’re a bitch,” the redhead stated, pulling Gavin closer to shore, stopping when Gavin splashed at him again. They were both standing now, feet flat on the ground and water just past their waists. “You wanna keep going because I can drown you right now,” his voice was teasing, his expression was not.

“You’re no fun,” Gavin pouted. Michael just raised a brow and grabbed him again, dunking him under the water. Gavin thrashed about for a few seconds before going oddly still in Michael’s arms.

“Shit,” Michael whispered, reaching down to pull him out, hands stopping on Gavin’s hips to keep him up. “Are you okay?” he asked, jumping when Gavin’s eyes snapped open and he spat directly in his face.

“You’re a prick,” Gavin glared.

“You scared the shit out of me,” Michael breathed, squeezing Gavin’s hips.

“Don’t try murdering me on prom night,”

“Isn’t that how all horror movies start?”

“Only the shitty ones,”

After checking to see if Gavin was really okay they made it the rest of the way to shore, collapsing in the sand to catch their breath and wind down.

“Are you coming back to mine?” Gavin asked facing him.

Michael didn’t answer right away. He felt… weird. When Gavin turned to look at him Michael’s breath hitched and something in his stomach tugged. He looked tired from their long day, but he also looked calm and happy and Michael felt a swell of affection in his chest. Gavin was still watching him, eyes narrowed in confusion and mouth opening to ask a question. Michael felt himself leaning forward when Gavin started speaking and he jumped back.

“Michael?”

“Yeah sorry, I’m exhausted,”

“Should I drive?”

“Yeah right,” Michael sat up. “I like my car in one piece,”

“You should teach me to drive sometime,”

“We’ll see,”

They walked back to the car silently, pulling their pants on and nothing else before getting in and heading home.

Gavin tried making small talk but Michael’s mind was elsewhere. Did he almost kiss Gavin? Did he want to? Clearly it was exhaustion making his mind go insane. He decided he wouldn’t mention it to anyone, he wasn’t gay. It was nothing, a trick of the light.

Michael wasn’t sure why he felt disappointed when he went to bed that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope to hear from some of you soon.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is just a quick little summer wrap up sorta thing, it's rather short compared to others but I've got a lot going on in the next chapter that I'm super excited for so I hope you enjoy this.

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Geoff didn’t know what he was doing wrong. Between work and friends and Griffon he’d like he imagine he was doing a fine job at splitting his time evenly. Griffon however wasn’t splitting her time evenly.

See, they didn’t really fight. They’d get back at each other and go a day or two without talking before Geoff would text her to come outside and they’d go for a drive. This summer though, Griffon seemed to be more on edge and the silences seemed to last longer.

“I’m just trying to understand why you can’t hang out with me at all in the next two weeks. You always have Saturdays off,” she had called him on her break to tell him that their plans were cancelled and it wasn’t sitting well with him.

“Geoff, I’m trying to pick up more hours, we talked about this,” she sighed.

“Yeah, but I figured you’d still have a day off in the mix,”

“Geoff, I’m trying really hard to save up for college,”

“I’m aware of that, but I’d like to see my girlfriend at some point this summer,”

“I spent a week at your house last month,”

“Yeah and that was a month ago!”

“Geoff, I’m trying really hard to juggle work and home and friends and preparing for school,” she explained.

“So you have no time for boyfriend,” he concluded sounding defeated.

“I-“ she stopped when someone talked to her. “Look, I’ve gotta get back to work,”

“See you whenever,”

“Geoff, please don’t be like that,”

“Love you,” he hung up before she could respond, tossing his phone on his bed and pulling the covers up over his head.

He knew he was being unfair. Griffon’s parents were going to help her with college, but they told her she’d need to buy her own books and take care of gas and car issues which she completely agreed with, but it also sent her into work overdrive.

The first few weeks of summer were great for the two, every time they weren’t working and their parents were out they would sneak over to the others and spend time together, talking, kissing, watching movies, sometimes they’d even just sleep.

It was at a party at the start of July when things started to shift.

They were at the beach with kids from both their school, surrounding schools and even some colleges. Michael and Gavin were in the water with Meg and Lindsay, Ray and Ryan were sitting by the bonfire with beers in their hands, and Jack was sitting with Geoff and Griffon while they conversed with Miles, Kerry and Barbara.

“I’m looking at schools out of state,” Barbara shrugged. “I kinda wanna take a year off and travel,”

“That would be awesome. Kerry and I are gonna go into animation,” Miles said slapping the blond boy on the back.

“I’m thinking game development,” Geoff said. “Griffon’s going for art,”

“Right on,” Barbara nodded. “Are you guys gonna dorm?”

“We’re gonna get an apartment,” Geoff said before Griffon could even open her mouth. They hadn’t talked about this? She never agreed to that.

“When’s the wedding?” Barbara joked holding her beer up to her lips.

“Hopefully soon,” Geoff said again.

Griffon looked up at him, eyebrows knit together, but he wasn’t looking at her. Later when the other three had left and Geoff had taken Griffon’s hand to go back to his car for some alone time she brought it up.

“When did we decide on a living situation?”

“What? Don’t wanna live with me?” he was laughing while he said it and then Griffon realized that he was on his fifth beer and had taken three shots and was probably a little out of it.

“We can talk when you’re sober,” she rolled her eyes, putting her beer in the cup holder and sitting back with her arms crossed.

“Okay,” Geoff shrugged leaning in for a kiss, trailing down her neck and stopping on her shoulder. His tattooed hands traced every inch of skin he could touch with mindless patterns until finally Griffon relaxed and kissed him back.

After that night she started getting busier, started kissing him less passionately, and started hugging him goodbye quicker. Before he knew it Geoff was seeing her once a week for maybe two hours before she was running off again and he didn’t want to be controlling, he didn’t want to give her a schedule, but he wanted to see his girlfriend dammit.

They talked again two days later when she called him to apologize and tell him she’d spend the night. He lit candles in the kitchen when his parents left and made pasta for them. He tried giving it a romantic vibe with lots of reds and whites but when she walked into the dining room she didn’t comment.

“How was work?” he asked when they were sitting across from each other.

“It was okay, kinda slammed today,”

“For antiques?”

“Right?” she laughed. “It always baffles me how much people love old shit,”

“Some things I understand, like old jewelry and paintings but coffee tables?”

“They probably just make up stories about how it ran in the family,” she rolled her eyes.

They hadn’t had a good night together in what felt like forever. They were always bickering about something small until the other gave up and stopped talking. Now though, they were leaning towards each other with their hands linked and grins on their faces. They talked animatedly about the last week and upcoming plans until finally it went south again.

“You’re leaving for a week?”

“Yeah, my parents want to take me for one last big summer adventure before senior year,” she shrugged.

“I’m never gonna see you again am I?”

“You’re with me right now,”

“I know… I just- I wanna spend real time with you, more than one unscheduled night,”

“So this isn’t enough?”

“It’s enough for you?”

She took her time with her answer because the look on her boyfriend’s face told her that he would absolutely get offended if she answered yes. “Geoff, I love you, but we can’t be all over each other all the time. We need time to breathe,”

“Are you… is this like one of those half break up things?”

“No no,” she said quickly. “I’m just saying, we can’t be codependent otherwise we’ll end up hating each other,”

“Are you starting to hate me?”

“No Geoff,” she sighed. “But I am trying to prevent it from ever happening,”

“Okay,”

Things were too tense after that so when dinner was over they sat down for two episodes of Parks and Rec before Griffon kissed him goodbye and left. He didn’t put up a fight.

~~~

“It’s so good to finally see you!” Jack exclaimed when his girlfriend’s face popped up on the screen.

“I know, my stupid computer had to go and break, but this one is brand spanking new,” she grinned.

“What happened to your bedroom?” Jack asked looking at the light yellow walls behind her.

“Oh, we redecorated yesterday, my mom surprised me,”

“That’s awesome,”

Jack and Caiti had been long distance since the middle of June when she flew back home to Australia. They didn’t know what was gonna happen the next year but they knew they wanted the other to be in it.

Her host parents allowed Jack to drive her to the airport, hands gripped tight between them the entire time. They walked through in silence while they waited and when they finally called for Caiti’s flight to board she turned to Jack with tears in her eyes and hugged him.

“I’m gonna miss you so much,”

“We’ll make it work,” he promised rubbing her back soothingly.

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

She got on her tippy toes and kissed him trying to make it last since they didn’t know when they’d get to do it again. “I got something for you,” he mumbled against her mouth pulling back to fumble around in his pockets before pulling the small ring box out.

He bought it a while ago but the timing never felt right, but now that she had one foot out the door he knew it was time. She looked up at him curiously, flipping the box open and gasping at the small pink flower in the center. She turned it over in her hands and smiled at the small _Forever_ engraved on the inside.

“This is beautiful,”

“Just like you,” he whispered kissing her again.

They called for her plane one more time and she pulled away, making sure she had her ticket and coat in her hands before hugging him again and running without another word.

He had several texts from his friends telling him they were there if he needed them and they were sorry, but he just replied to each with a smiley face before turning his phone off and driving home.

The second he was through the door he was rushing up the stairs to open Skype and wait.

He was asleep when he heard the song coming through his computer and jostled awake. He saw her name written across the screen and hit accept immediately. Soon her tired face was filling the screen and she was grinning.

“I missed you!”

“I miss you too,”

“Sorry it took so long. My parents grabbed me and brought me out to eat as soon as I touched down,”

“Its okay how was your flight?”

They stayed up for five hours talking and eventually Caiti’s parents wandered in to meet Jack and stayed for a good half hour before finally Caiti was yawning between every word.

“You should get some rest. We can talk after you’ve adjusted,”

“I don’t wanna say goodbye yet,” she whined.

“I know, but I can only imagine how shitty the jet lag must be,”

“It’s something fierce,”

“Exactly, you should rest up. We can talk first thing tomorrow,”

“This time difference might disagree,”

“How about nine in the morning for you? It’ll be good for me,”

“Sure thing,”

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

Only, they couldn’t because her computer stopped working the next day and her parents had swept her away to do all the things she had missed over the year.

They talked on the phone and texted when they could but Caiti found a job at a small café over there and Jack still had to work at the library and with the time difference the other usually called while the other was asleep and missed them.

Caiti finally texted him in the last week to tell him she got a new computer and they could Skype again. Luckily he wasn’t at work that day so he could log in immediately and see her face. Her hair had grown a few inches longer since she left and her blue eyes seemed electric after what felt like a lifetime without them.

“You got even more beautiful,”

“Something in the water,” she shrugged. “You start school in a few days right?”

“Next Tuesday, you?”

“Same,”

“I can’t believe we’re gonna be seniors,”

“I know, it’s so weird,”

“I talked to my mom she said that I can come visit during February break,”

“That’ll be awesome!” she grinned. “I can’t wait to kiss you again,”

“Me either, I don’t know how I’m gonna make it that long. Two months was hard enough,”

“It’s gonna suck but we can still talk all the time,”

“Yeah, we’ll find a way,”

“We always do,” she chimed.

~~~

The projection room was full of dust, particles floating in the air around them. They had been up there for over an hour now and they hadn’t spoken a word, mouths attached as soon as they sat down. They pulled apart with a soft pop when Ray started giggling.

“What?”

“When I was in the second grade my mom took me to my grandma’s house up north. She had been making my mom’s favorite soup all day in preparation since we hadn’t seen the new house yet, but as soon as I walked into the kitchen I slipped and knocked the entire pot to the floor,”

“Were they mad?”

“Oh yeah, my grandma swore in Spanish for ten minutes, my mom looked like a ghost,”

“Did you apologize?”

“Of course I did but she wasn’t having it. I had to sit alone in the car for twenty minutes while my mom helped her clean up and then we went home,”

“Holy shit,” Ryan laughed. “Did you ever go back?”

“Like four years later, she forgave me,”

“I’m glad,”

“Yeah… then she died,”

“Jesus Ray!” Ryan yelled eyes wide.

“Your turn,”

“For what?”

“Tell me something no one knows,” Ray urged, hand resting on the blonde’s hip.

He thought long and hard before he started laughing to himself and shook his head. “In fifth grade gym class Geoff stole my shorts and waited in the gym so I had to leave the locker room. I walked out and in front of everyone my teacher started screaming,”

“I bet you looked cute,”

“Of course I did,” Ryan nodded. “But they still sent me to the nurse and called my parents,”

“That sucks,”

“There’s more,”

“Oh god,”

“There was this boy I thought was really cute and he laughed at me in front of the entire class,”

“What did you do?”

“I cried for twenty minutes in the bathroom after the nurse gave me a pair of jean shorts,”

“Who was it?”

“…Miles,”

“No shit!”

“Yup,”

“That’s… that’s fucking hilarious,”

“Yeah, he apologized a few weeks later for laughing at me but my crush was already gone,” he shrugged.

“Does he know you were into him?”

“I don’t think so, back then all the kids were pretty friendly cause sexuality was so weird,”

“I’m telling him,” Ray stated moving to stand up.

“Not a chance,” Ryan warned rolling over onto him, keeping him stuck to the floor. “It’s your turn,”

“Oh yeah,” Ray laughed pushing his boyfriend off him and rubbing his thumb over his chin. “In fourth grade we went on a field trip to a farm and Michael pushed me into a puddle of mud and I was wearing white shorts,”

“Oh no,”

“Yup,” Ray nodded. “Everyone started saying I had shit myself and then one girl, I swear she was a stoner even then just mumbled ‘Your shorts are really brown man,’ and that’s how I got the nickname,”

“Seriously?”

“Yup, I liked the way she said it so I kept it,”

“That’s… odd,”

“You go,”

“I also have a farm story,” he declared.

“Oh?”

“In second grade we went to a farm and we were learning about all the animals and I wasn’t paying attention when they said do not try to make contact with any so I put my hand in a goat pen and got bit,”

“Were you okay?”

“I bled a little bit and cried a lot but it was okay,”

“Did you get in trouble?”

“Not really with the school, my mom was mad that I wasn’t listening so she couldn’t do anything to help me,”

“That sucks,” he laughed.

They went back and forth trading stories about embarrassing moments and crushes gone wrong for another twenty minutes before Ray’s voice started dripping with exhaustion, eyes fighting to stay open.

“Don’t fall asleep,”

“I’m tired,”

“I’m gonna have to carry you to the car aren’t I?”

“Most likely,”

“You suck,”

“You wish,” Ray mumbled before letting his eyes fall shut.

Ryan sat up and stretched, reaching for Ray’s nearly unconscious form and scooping him up. He wrapped one arm around his back and the other under his bum to support him while he waded through the dark room.

When he tucked Ray into his bed later that night he made sure to take his glasses off and set them on the table before kissing him on the forehead and making his way out.

~~~

Michael wasn’t usually good at avoiding confrontation due to his anger issues, but when it came to the almost kiss with Gavin he was extremely good at pushing it to the back of his mind. He never told anyone about it, not Ray or Ryan, Geoff at one of their swing set meetings or even Lindsay. He almost spilled to Meg on the first night of summer when they got the whole gang together for ice cream.

“You okay Michael?” she asked licking at her vanilla cone. They were in the back of the group, following the crowd to wherever their next destination was, probably the park.

“Yeah, why?”

“You’ve been… weird lately,”

“How so?”

“I can’t put my finger on it, but it probably has something to do with Gavin,”

This was his chance right? To talk to someone who knows Gavin almost as well as the rest of them? He opened his mouth to start talking but snapped it shut when he heard laughter from the front of the group and saw Gavin with his head thrown back and an arm thrown over Geoff’s shoulder. He smiled at the sight, shaking himself out of it when he remembered the purple haired girl next to him. He looked back at Meg, her hazel eyes burning as they searched his face and shook his head.

“I’m fine,”

“Okay, if you ever wanna talk…” she shrugged.

“Thanks,” they smiled briefly at each other and picked up their pace to catch up to their friends.

“Tag you’re ‘it!’” Ray yelled slapping his hand down on Aaron’s back and sprinting away.

“We gonna do this?” he asked, looking after the running boy and then to Ryan.

“He wants the play,”

“Okay,” Aaron shrugged poking Barbara and following Ray’s path to the playground.

“God dammit,” the blond growled. Everyone started running, sprinting through the dewy grass and trying to avoid children and their parents playing in the field.

Michael didn’t want any part of this game so he sat himself on a bench to finish his ice cream. Others had dropped their bowls and cones in the grass in their mad dash to get away. He watched his friends get tackled and pushed, tripping over their own feet and sliding in the grass until someone was stopping behind his bench out of breath and panting.

“Hey boi,” Gavin said after he caught his breath sitting next to him.

“Hi Gav,” Michael offered him the rest of his ice cream which Gavin took gratefully.

“Why aren’t you playing?”

“If I run around I’ll puke,”

“Please don’t,” Gavin laughed.

“Not planning on it. Have you been ‘it’ yet?”

“Nah, I’ve been hiding under the slide. Got some dirty looks from mothers, kinda wanna leave,” he admitted.

“Wanna leave? We can,” Michael offered.

“Yeah,” he nodded standing up and turning towards town.

“I’ll text Geoff,”

They went to Michael’s and played video games until almost two in the morning before crashing. They woke up to countless Facebook posts about what the gang had done after, going shopping and then to dinner. They were tagged in some photos they all took at the ice cream parlor but overall neither really cared about missing such ‘exciting’ events.

They stayed attached at the hip for most of the summer, until the very end of July.

“Hey Michael,” Mrs. Free greeted when the redhead walked downstairs early Tuesday morning, rubbing sleep from his eyes and blinking rapidly.

“Good morning,”

“I feel like I’ve seen more of you this summer than I have since we met,” she smiled, turning to grab a cup and fill it with orange juice, sliding it over to Michael.

“Thanks,” he started taking a long sip. “And yeah, I’ve always been best friends with Gavin, but this is like a new level,”

“When did you two start dating anyway?”

Michael froze his glass halfway to his face. “We aren’t,” he said slowly, looking up at her with squinted eyes.

“Oh, I just thought… sorry,” she said turning away embarrassed.

“It’s okay,”

Things grew… tense between the two boys for a few weeks after that, not that Gavin understood why. He just realized one day that Michael was really busy after work or he always had plans with one of the other boys.

In his loneliness Gavin started taking Caleb up on his offers to hang out, meeting for coffee or movies. One night in the middle of some dumb romance film Caleb’s hand slid across the rest to find Gavin’s hand.

Gavin froze, unsure if should shake him off or not, so he just waited it out. When the credits started rolling and Caleb still hadn’t moved his hand Gavin stood awkwardly and grabbed his popcorn moving to the trashcans and exiting the theater. When Caleb caught up with him he gave a sideways glance, knuckles brushing. When Gavin didn’t react he wrapped his fingers around his, staring straight ahead until Gavin squirmed away.

“What’s wrong?”

“Caleb,” Gavin sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Gavin, it’s not a big deal,”

“It’s weird,”

“You hold hands with Michael,”

“He’s my best friend,”

“And I dated you,”

“You also cheated on me,”

“I thought you forgave me,” he pouted.

“I do, but that doesn’t mean anything for… us,” he waved a hand between them.

“What if I want it to?”

“I don’t know if I’m ready for that,”

“So if I ask you out again you’ll say no?”

“Most likely,”

“I bet you twenty bucks when I ask you out again you’ll say yes,”

“Doubt it,”

“Then take the bet,”

“Fine,”

They hung out a dozen more times and Caleb didn’t try once to get Gavin back. Not holding his hand or going for hugs or kisses, he just showed up and took him out for lunch or movies and brought him home. He wanted to call Michael to talk about it with but the other boy was never around, and he didn’t like Caleb anyway.

Finally in the last week of summer Ray called Gavin and said he was forcing an impromptu boy’s night. Michael told Gavin earlier that he was spending the night at Ray’s so he figured he was in on it.

“Tell Michael I said hi,” Gavin said right before hanging up.

“I’m not with him,” Ray responded confused.

“I thought you were hanging out tonight,”

“Nope, I haven’t talked to him all day actually. I’m about to call him,”

“Don’t I’ll go to his house and get him,” Gavin said slowly. He told Ray he’d be over in a few minutes and hung up, grabbing his overnight bag and stuffing clothes, a charger and a blanket inside before walking downstairs and saying bye to his mom.

Instead of turning in the direction of Ray’s house though he decided to make a quick stop at Michael’s house and see what was going on. The sun had just started to set when he stepped out of his house and already he was sweating by the time he reached the end of his road, stopping to take his sweatshirt off and stuff it in his bag. He picked up his pace the closer he got until he was panting on Michael’s front step, hands on his knees while he tried catching his breath.

Finally he stood up and straightened his back out, knocking on the door three times until Michael or one of his parents answered. When the redhead answered the door he just squeezed his eyes shut and whispered ‘dammit.’

“Look Gav-“

“I don’t know why you lied to me. I also don’t really care, but I want you to come over to Ray’s with me, Ryan will be there too. It can be a nice little friend night,” Michael stared at him for a long moment eyes searching before he finally nodded and motioned Gavin to follow him inside. The Brit took his phone out and sent a text to Ray that Michael would be joining which was met with a ‘ _So are Jack and Geoff.’_

Gavin sat gingerly on Michael’s bed while the redhead stomped around grabbing clothes off the floor and checking if they were clean. “I really need to do laundry,” he muttered.

Soon they were walking out of the boy’s bedroom and saying goodbye to Michael’s mom. Gavin started walking towards the sidewalk before a hand on his wrist stopped him.

“I have a car Gavin,”

“Oh, right,” he muttered walking around to the passenger side and sliding in. “Geoff and Jack are coming too,”

“Good,” he reached over and turned the radio on to drown out the silence.

Gavin stared out the window at the houses and stores they passed trying to come up with a conversation topic. He was upset that Michael had lied and he figured that it had been going on for a time, but he didn’t want to spend their last summer or last school year arguing about stupid things.

When they knocked on Ray’s door his mom answered and sent them to the backyard where they found Geoff and Ryan sitting around a fire pit poking at it with a stick until it really caught. Ray and Jack were working on putting up a large tent, not that it was going that well.

“I’ll help them,” Michael said handing his bag to Gavin and stalking over to the struggling shelter builders. Gavin watched him go silently, wanting to follow or reach out but he just bowed his head and walked over to Geoff and Ryan, sitting in a red folding chair and offering a small hello.

“Be happy, we start school soon,”

“I don’t want to though,”

“Why not?”

“Everything’s gonna be weird,”

“No it’s not,”

“Everyone’s gonna be freaking out about grades and relationships and money. We aren’t gonna have time for each other,” Gavin mumbled putting his chin in his hands and staring at the fire. He missed the worried glances the other two boys gave him.

When Michael, Jack and Ray finally got the tent up, after Ray’s mom came outside and walked them through the steps, they all gathered around the fire to make hotdogs. Geoff started telling ghost stories when they got quiet and in the end Gavin had to go inside and take a few deep breaths before going back out while the sun disappeared and darkness took over. Ray’s backyard wasn’t spectacular, it didn’t lead to the woods or anything worth adventuring, but the firelight being the only source of light did set Gavin on edge.

“Then, she walked in and found the girl covered in blood before something grabbed her and snapped her neck,” Jack finished earning a handful of marshmallows to the face from Ray.

“Lame!”

“Yeah, what? You built that up so much,” Michael laughed.

“C for effort,” Geoff shrugged.

“I came up with that on the spot that’s not fair!”

“This isn’t a game show, if you don’t have a story ready shut up!”

“You guys are dicks,”

“Anyone else?” Ray asked after a long silence. When no one answered he shrugged and lifted his glass of coke to the sky. “Then I propose a toast to our last year of high school,”

“Yeah, let’s make this one as memorable as possible guys,” Geoff said seriously. Everyone else nodded and raised their cups without a word, tapping their plastic together and taking long sips.

“Wow, it really did fucking fly,” Jack muttered after.

“It’s kind of insane,”

“I’m really proud of us,” Gavin laughed. “I remember going in and being certain that one of us would be held back a year,”

“Way to be confident asshole,” Michael shook his head smiling.

“Can you blame me? All of us left middle school with at least two F’s except Jack and Ryan,”

“Fair enough,”

Geoff looked around the fire at his five best friends sadly. This really could be their last year together. Sure, they all talked about college before but as time went on he realized how much Ray hated school and Gavin wanted to work on film and other things he didn’t need a degree for. These things of course didn’t mean it was a complete no, but maybe they were something.

He took in the sweet looks Ray and Ryan were throwing each other, hands held tight between them, the affectionate gazes Jack was throwing them all, the soft looks that Michael and Gavin were giving after finally dropping whatever tension was there earlier. This was his family, these five boys that were so quick to mock and shove the others around but as soon as someone else got involved they unleashed like warriors. Gavin, the sensitive and funny one, Michael ready to burst into a ball of fire at the drop of a pin if anyone fucked with them, Jack, the fierce ‘mom’ of the group so quick to protect and nurse, Ryan the quiet and observant one and Ray, the shy and sarcastic one. They fit like puzzle pieces and Geoff honestly had no idea where he’d be if he didn’t have the full image.

“Guys,” he whispered gathering all of their attention. “I really love you, and I’m really happy we’re all still friends,”

“Are we really gonna do this tonight?” Ray whined, putting his cup down and standing up. “Fuck it, group hug,” he called. They all stood and moved a good bit away from the fire so they wouldn’t knock anyone or thing into it when they inevitably toppled over.

They stumbled when Michael joined with too much enthusiasm as usual and hit the grass in a laughing heap, arms and legs bent at uncomfortable angles while they tried to untangle themselves, crying out when someone elbowed or stepped on them.

“One day we’ll get that down,” Jack promised.

“I doubt it,” Geoff shrugged.

They were all quiet for a long time, each seeming to come to terms with the reality of the situation. They could plan and talk and pretend for as long as they wanted, but in the end it was their actions that would make or break and while they hoped they could have love and family and friendship and stay together forever they didn’t know if that was a real option due to money, grades, _wants._ Michael and Gavin had pushed their chairs all the way together now, sitting with their arms wrapped tightly around them and their heads bent close, blankets draped over their laps. Ray had abandoned his chair completely for a spot on his boyfriend’s lap, head resting on his shoulder. Jack had even shoved his chair closer to Geoff’s arm thrown around the back while they watched the roaring fire.

“I forgot I bought something cool the other day!” Ryan announced pushing at Ray’s shoulders until he moved so he could run to the tent. He returned a moment later with a small black packet in his hands, the word _Magic_ was written across the front and there was a picture of purple and blue flames. “It changes the color of the fire,” he explained when the others wrinkled their brows in confusion.

“I’ll allow it,” Geoff nodded.

“Nerd,” Ray mumbled.

The orange flames licked at the twigs and leaves they had thrown in the pit before shrinking back when something new was added. It snapped and crackled before the black wrapper turned to ash and the orange faded into blue. Ryan sat back, proud of himself while he friends watched with interest, nodding approvingly.

“This is kinda cool,” Jack announced.

Michael looked around at the fire, and the friends surrounding him. He was actually excited for senior year. He couldn’t wait to start applying to colleges contrary to popular belief. He wanted to go and get a bigger education and have a fun job all with his best friends. He knew that Jack and Ryan were going for sure and if Griffon was then Geoff most likely was. Ray would probably go wherever Ryan ended up, but Gavin was a different subject though because they hadn’t really sat down and talked about it in a while and Michael wouldn’t admit it but if Gavin went back to England he was pretty sure he’d go insane.

When Gavin had showed up at his door earlier he was scared because the look Gavin threw him told him that he knew Michael had lied. He tried thinking of an excuse on the spot but when Gavin cut him off and invited him to Ray’s he just agreed and started packing. Gavin sat on his bed stiffly while he packed and he thought about making small talk or telling him what was going on but if Gavin wasn’t asking for answers he wasn’t gonna offer them.

He tried not to think about anything having to do with Gavin and relationships. Prom night he swore was due to exhaustion. Of course, that’s what he thought until Mrs. Free asked if they were together. He didn’t know if it was the question he hated, or the answer.

“We should probably pack up for the night, right?” Ryan asked then, earning nods and yawns all around. He stood up and grabbed the large plastic bucket off Ray’s back porch, opening the back door and sliding inside to fill it. While he was inside the others gathered up their trash and threw it away, moving their chairs back and making sure they had everything they’d need. Ryan returned and put the fire out, throwing dirt on it after and grabbing his phone. They trudged slowly into the tent, splitting up to get to their sleeping bags and settle in.

“Goodnight,” Geoff yawned, flipping over so his back was to all of them. Jack was next to him flat on his back, eyes already closed, glasses folded neatly above his pillow. Michael and Gavin were next to him each facing the opposite direction so their backs lined up and pressed together since they were so crowded by the other four. Ray and Ryan were already dead to the world tangled up together and breathing quietly.

Halfway through the night Michael woke up when Gavin walked out of the tent to go to the bathroom. He sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, not bothering with his glasses while he waited. When Gavin came back in his shirt was hanging off of one shoulder and he abandoned his pajama bottoms for silky boxers. Michael didn’t blame him, six guys sharing a tent in the middle of summer was a little unbearable.

“Did I wake you?” he whispered when he saw Michael sitting up and staring at him.

“Yeah,” he breathed.

“Sorry,”

“It’s okay,”

Gavin stepped over Jack and Geoff and crawled back into his sleeping bag, moving to turn so he had his back to Michael but the redhead wrapped an arm around his waist and pulled him in tight. Their thighs and hips were pressed together; Gavin’s back to Michael’s chest and because of the height difference between the two Michael’s lips were pressed to the back of Gavin’s neck.

“Michael?”

“Go to sleep,” he whispered, tickling the tan skin when his lips brushed it.

“Okay,” Gavin sighed, pulling the blanket over him and linking his fingers through Michael’s.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope to hear from some of you soon.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry.

Jack’s first day was not going well. All of his classes were on the first and second floor, yet his locker ended up on the third floor, while all his friends were in the same hallway. He talked to the grade office about it and they said they’re _try_ fixing it, but nothing was certain. His backpack ripping open in the middle of the main staircase sending his books and binders spilling back down to the first floor and he didn’t have any classes with Geoff.

He didn’t get to speak to Caiti at all the day before because she had to go back to school shopping and her parents wanted to take her to a nice dinner so she remained offline until Jack passed out. He tried texting her first thing that morning but she hadn’t read it yet so he didn’t know what was going on, figuring she was just in her classes.

When he got to math their teacher had surprised them with an assessment to see what she’d need to work with them most on for the year and Jack had found that he didn’t know most of the material which had him hoping that Ryan would be willing to help him out. Michael was in there with him and he too was sending looks of help over the Jack, eyes wide and neck red from how much he was rubbing and scratching at it.

He had Griffon with him in English which was comforting at least. They sat in the back and talked until their teacher started class only to find out that they missed the summer reading list and were already behind. Griffon of course wasn’t fazed, promising Jack that they’d set up a library day and play catch up. He spent the next few minutes taking deep breaths and trying to keep his composure.

When the bell rang he was the first to gather up his tattered back pack and books and speed out of the room, waiting outside for Griffon to reach him. They started walking down the hall but when he went to the main staircase he noticed that she kept walking.

“Aren’t you coming to lunch?” he called after her.

“I’ll be a bit late. I forgot I’m supposed to meet with my counselor about college stuff real quick,”

“It’s only the first day,”

“I know, I just wanna be ahead of the game,” she winked.

Jack just shrugged and merged into the crowd of students going towards the cafeteria, but Jack fought his way through them moving up to get to his locker. He shoved his bag and the textbooks he didn’t need inside, grabbing his pencil case and an empty binder for his science class before slamming it shut and stalking towards the stairs again.

He walked the long distance from his locker to the cafeteria and slumped in the seat next to Gavin. Everyone turned to look at him but still he said nothing, just took a deep breath before lifting his head. “I wanna transfer,”

“Good luck with that,” Geoff rolled his eyes.

“I had to go to the art wing and ask every teacher if they had spare duct tape because my backpack tore. My locker is in fucking Narnia and my girlfriend is halfway across the world,” he ranted slamming his face back down on the table. Geoff reached over and lifted his head by tugging on his hair, checking that he didn’t actually injure himself.

“Dude, it’s the first day, they might be able to fix your locker and you can buy a new back pack,” Geoff said patting him on the back.

“I just want today to be over,” he mumbled rubbing his hand over his face.

“Sorry I’m late,” Griffon’s voice rang out. “I had to stop by and collect a special package,”

“Sorry I’m late, had some paperwork to fill out,” a familiar voice said. Jack’s head whipped up and standing before him he found a beautiful girl with brown hair and blue eyes. She was wearing a light pink dress and when she lifted her hand to brush her hair back, looking at the floor blushing, he noticed that she was still proudly wearing her promise ring. He pinched his thigh to make sure it wasn’t a dream, grinning when he accepted that it wasn’t.

“When- how did- what?” he slid out of his seat and grabbed her, pulling her into a crushing hug. Her arms wrapped around his neck and when he pulled away he connected their lips in a long kiss, ignoring the clapping and cheering from his friends.

“Griffon’s family took me for the year,” she explained when they pulled away. “The reason my room looked different was because it was Griffon’s room,”

“I don’t- did you all know about this?” he asked turning to everyone else. They all nodded. “Thank you Griffon,” he said hugging the blond.

“Of course, I couldn’t survive without my best friend either,”

“Bet you don’t wanna transfer anymore,” Ryan wiggled his brows.

“Hell no,” Jack sighed, wrapping his arm around Caiti and sitting back down.

“So, I talked to my uncle, he said we can have dinner at the restaurant tonight,” Geoff announced. “Like a celebratory first last day dinner,”

“So are we not working then?” Gavin asked.

“Nope, he’s giving us the night off,” he said wrapping an arm around Griffon’s shoulders. “Can you make it?” he whispered.

“I should be able to,” she shrugged not looking at him. He frowned at her, turning back to his friends and resuming his previous conversation.

Jack spent the rest of the lunch period staring at Caiti, imagining all of the opportunities they had now that she was back. He could take her on a thousand more dates and he could kiss her a million more times. He was in a state of bliss. She was in the middle of talking to Gavin about her adventures at home, hand gripping Jack’s tightly like she too couldn’t believe this was happening.

“What’s your next class?” he asked when the bell rang.

“History with Geoff and Griffon,”

“I’m in the history wing too, I’ll walk you,” he cradled his binder in one arm and wrapped the other around Caiti walking towards the exit. “I can’t believe you’re back,”

“Me either, I wasn’t planning on it but Griffon just called me one day and told me to start packing,”

“And your parents were cool with it?”

“They knew I was happy here,” she shrugged.

They stopped at Caiti’s classroom first since Jack’s was at the very end of the hall where Ray was waiting patiently. “What do you say to a date tomorrow night, just you and me to celebrate?”

“I say yes,” she grinned leaning up to kiss him. It was a quick peck, but it still left Jack’s heart pounding when she turned away. Geoff and Griffon were already there, facing away from each other while they talked to their other classmates.

He didn’t leave until the warning bell rang and Ray called his name, waving for him to hurry up. He rushed down the hall towards the lad and grabbed his arm pulling him inside to a table in the back of the room.

“So,” Ray started, dragging it out. “Are you super excited?”

“Of course I am, how long did you know?”

“Griffon told us at the beginning of August that everything was all settled,”

“That’s honestly the best thing that’s ever happened,” he admitted, face red.

“So, senior year is already better right?”

“Yeah, I’ll get a new bag after school and maybe the locker thing will get sorted out doesn’t really matter anymore,”

“That’s good, I’m glad you’re happy,”

“This year is gonna be great,” he grinned as the teacher started his lesson, slapping a ruler against the board to get their attention.

“Definitely,” Ray nodded.

History ended up being a better class for Jack. He found that he knew more than he had in his other classes which definitely gave him hope. They did a short assessment that both he and Ray aced and when they walked out of the class to head towards their final block they both felt confident.

He walked into science and mentally cheered when he saw Ryan sitting at a table in the back of the room with his back pack in the seat next to him to keep others away. He made his way back to him setting his bag down on the table until Ryan looked up at him, smiling and moving his bag.

“How was your last class?”

“Better, I’ve got your boy toy with me so…” he shrugged.

“Good, he’ll take care of you,” Ryan winked.

“I’ve got Michael, Gavin _and_ Caleb in my history class,”

“At least we’re all in the same general area,”

“Yeah, that’ll be cool for mid-class bathroom breaks,”

Their teacher didn’t bother with an assessment, instead she just walked in took a look around the room and announced that the person next to them would be their partner and started writing rules and safety procedures on the board.

Jack was just glad that the day had improved so much, texting Caiti under the table that he loved her, grinning when she replied in less than a minute with the same thing.

~~~

Geoff ran around the restaurant frantically, setting up plates and silverware for the party of eight that was about to enter. He arrived early to his uncle’s place to set up the perfect area for his friends later. Griffon had texted him that she would be there, ignoring his response right after. Geoff just shoved his phone back in his pocket and decided not to worry about it.

Ray and Ryan showed up at quarter of hugging Geoff when they got there and following him to the table in the back. He made sure they were settled in before rushing back to the entryway to wait for the others. Michael and Gavin showed up a few minutes later, greeting their friend before making their way to the back room to say hi to their coworkers. Finally at five minutes to eight Jack, Caiti and Griffon walked in following him to the back and taking their seats.

Once they were all settled in with a drink in front of them and pizzas on the way Geoff held his glass and tapped his knife against it gently. “I know that we just started this dinner but I’d like to propose a toast,”

“Not another one,” Ray groaned.

“Shut up. A toast to a great senior year,”

“And a toast to a good Wednesday, and a good Thursday,” Ray mocked holding his cup up. Gavin laughed and clinked his with Ray’s taking a long sip. Geoff glared at them but before he could open his mouth Michael was joining in.

“To a good Easter Sunday!” he said loudly, holding his cup up proudly, tapping it against Gavin and Ray’s.

Jack opened his mouth to speak but Geoff clapped a hand over his mouth, which only prompted Ryan to continue for him. “Here’s to a good Christmas,”

“And a happy retirement,” Griffon added. Geoff was just shocked that she had said anything, smiling while she did so. He let them continue, making more ridiculous toasts as they usually did before finally he sighed and leaned forward.

“Are you going to ruin every moment we have?”

“Are you going to make every time we spend together insanely gay?” Ray asked earning snickers from everyone else.

“Don’t you, Rye and Gav handle that?” he shot back. Jack ‘oohed’ at them taking a sip from his glass looking away. Ray just rolled his eyes and gave Geoff the finger before turning towards his boyfriend.

“So, how were classes?” Gavin asked after the silence stretched a beat too long.

“Jeremy is in our science class,” Griffon announced nodding at Gavin and Caiti. “I say we learn some cool experiments and blow him up,” she offered. Geoff was quiet next to her, but he couldn’t help wondering why she wasn’t talkative like this when it was just them, only branching out with the others. They were sitting right next to each other and yet Geoff felt completely alone.

“That could work,” Gavin said thoughtfully, stroking his chin.

“It will,” she swore.

They went around talking about their classes and the people in them, the teachers and how much they liked or hated them from previous years. They all had classes with a friend so they were never alone which was definitely comforting. Jack confessed that he was already behind in his math and English classes, looking to Ryan who immediately offered his help. Griffon told him that they could start meeting one night after school and reading the material so they were ready for the first big test of the year. Geoff ignored the pang of hurt he felt at this barreling on in the conversation.

“Michael and I have science together and we’re partners for the rest of forever so that’ll be a fucking mess,” he laughed.

“I can see us blowing up the lab first thing tomorrow,”

“Oh absolutely,” Geoff nodded.

“I can’t wait for the school evacuation that’ll cause,” Ray spoke up. “Anything to get me out of classes for a few hours, make sure it’s a really bad explosion,”

“Just for you,” Michael promised high fiving him across the table.

Their pizzas arrived shortly after and were quickly devoured while other patrons entered and exited the restaurant before it was nearing ten o’clock and Geoff’s uncle was giving him the warning look across the way. He stood up and started gathering garbage, followed by Michael and Gavin taking their dishes to the sink out back for the washer of the night to handle, throwing the bits of pizza crust and pepperoni slices on the trays into the trash can. When they returned to their friends they were all pushing their chairs in and putting their jackets on deciding who was going to who’s house for the night. Geoff grabbed his keys and turned to Griffon, offering a ride but she politely declined and kissed him on the cheek before following Jack and Caiti out.

“It’ll get better,” Ryan said when the door swung shut behind him.

“I don’t know anymore,” Geoff whispered. “She’s been so weird lately, I know something bad is gonna happen,”

“Dude, don’t stress, she’s got a lot on her plate with money and college, let her figure it out,”

“I hope that’s all it is,”

“I’m sure it is,”

Geoff pursed his lips together but nodded, hugging the lads and Ryan goodbye before making his way through the kitchen and out the back door where he had parked. He slid into his car and slammed the door, locking it and slamming his fists against the steering wheel, aiming a little too close to the middle causing the horn to beep loudly and making him jump. He sighed and put his head in his hands wondering what he did wrong.

~~~

Gavin was halfway to his locker after the bell rang when he heard his name being called from somewhere behind him. He turned to see Caleb, baseball cap pulled low almost over his eyes, rushing towards him.

“What’s up?”

“What are you doing tomorrow night?” he asked rubbing the back of his neck.

“Nothing yet, why?”

“I uh- I wanted to know if maybe you’d want to go out or something…” he trailed off awkwardly.

“Are you asking me on a date?”

“Yes,” he said confidently. “It’s been a while, we’ve been hanging out, I think… I think we should try this,”

“Without you cheating?”

“Gavin,” he sighed.

“I’m kidding, look, I- I’m going to trust you again.” Gavin had been thinking about it honestly. He knew it was coming, so he figured that it was time to make his decision and while things had gone wrong the first time he figured that maybe it was time to try again. At the same time though, he knew that maybe things would go wrong again, maybe Caleb hadn’t changed.

“So that’s a yes?”

“It’s a maybe, I’m gonna think about it a little more and let you know,”

“Get back to me when you find out,” Caleb said, pressing his arm before turning and rushing to make it to his next class in time. He turned around when he reached the end of the hall, “I won’t make you pay me!” Gavin just laughed and watched him go.

He made it to English with a minute to spare, taking his seat behind Meg, next to Michael and diagonal to Ray. They smiled at him when he entered asking what took so long, but he just shook his head and started unpacking his bag. Their teacher came rushing in, apologizing for being late and dropping her binders on the desk before beginning the days lesson, something about Shakespeare. Gavin wasn’t paying attention though, they did Cesar in freshmen year, Macbeth in sophomore and Romeo and Juliette in junior year so he was over it. His mind was on the redhead next to him and his ex across the school instead.

Gavin knew he was in love with Michael, that was a no brainer, he also knew that he most likely didn’t have a chance. Caleb, while shitty in the past, was interested now, wanted Gavin now. He did like Caleb, he liked hanging out with him, the little thrill he got whenever their hands brushed, the familiarity of him next to him.

He snapped out of it when Michael shook his shoulder. He focused on him, noticing that Ray, Meg and Michael had all turned their desks so they formed a square, all looking at him curiously.

“What’s going on?”

“We aren’t gonna read a play this year, we’re just gonna get into groups and write down what we know,” Meg explained, watching him carefully.

“You okay Gavvy?” Michael asked, hand landing hard on Gavin’s shoulder.

“Yeah sorry,” he nodded, sitting up and looking over what they had already written on their paper.

They spent the last hour working on every little thing they could remember about Shakespeare’s plays, common themes, styles reoccurring character traits until finally their teacher was wishing them a good rest of the day and the final bell was ringing. They moved their desks back to where they belonged and packed their things, leaving the classroom and heading towards the main hall for their lockers. Michael threw his arm around Gavin’s shoulders and pulled him into his side.

“Coming back to mine?”

“Sure,” Gavin smiled.

Michael turned the radio on as soon as they got in, heading towards his neighborhood. Gavin suddenly felt nervous, like he needed to tell Michael about Caleb before he could make his final decision. He opened his mouth five times in the car to tell him but shut it quickly after waiting for the time to feel right.

They pushed into Michael’s house, greeting his parents and setting their bags by the hall closet. They took the steps two at a time until they got into the redheads room and turned the TV and Xbox on. They each grabbed a controller and sat back starting up their first of many matches of Halo.

Gavin was always bad, always lost against his friends when they played, but this was probably his worst performance. His mind was elsewhere and it didn’t take Michael long to realize it. They were halfway through their fourth round when Michael hit pause and tossed his controller down.

“Okay, what’s going on?”

“What?”

“You’ve been out of it since fourth block,”

“Oh,”

“You can talk to me Gav,” he said cautiously.

“I- Caleb asked me out again,” his answer was slow, careful, like Michael was a bomb that would go off.

He wasn’t wrong.

“And you said?” he seethed.

“I said I’d think about it,”

“Why?”

“Cause I’m thinking about it?”

“Why in the fuck would you say yes?”

“Michael, you know me and him were still friends,”

“Friends is a lot different than dating,” he pointed out.

“We all knew it was coming,” Gavin shrugged. “He’s not exactly subtle,”

“Don’t,”

“Excuse me,”

“Don’t go back out with him. He’s a shitty dude,”

“Michael, I think he’s changed,”

“You’re too kind, and he’s scum. No,”

“I’m not asking for your permission,”

“Then why are you telling me?”

“Cause you asked what was going on,” he yelled.

“Fucking stupid,” Michael mumbled dropping back on his bed, both of them bouncing at the sudden movement.

“Whatever,” Gavin rolled his eyes. The silence stretched between them, drowning the room in an awkward atmosphere that had Gavin sighing and standing up. “I’m gonna head home, I’ll see you tomorrow,”

“So that’s it, you’re gonna say yes and date him again?”

“Yeah,” Gavin said like it was obvious.

“Whatever,”

Gavin stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him and racing downstairs. He ignored the concerned looks Michael’s parents sent him and rushed out tearing through the driveway and down the sidewalk. When he hit the stop sign at the bottom of the road he opened his phone and went into his messages, starting a new one for Caleb and sending the word _yes._

Gavin got an answer a few minutes later, an excited text with lots of exclamation points. He smiled and put his phone away.

~~~

Michael wasn’t okay. He was pissed, and he didn’t know why. Well, that was a lie. He knew why. It was because of Caleb and Gavin, but the further details were unknown to him. He couldn’t tell if it was because Gavin would be getting back in a relationship with Caleb or if it was because Gavin was getting in a relationship.

He decided on the former. Or maybe it was just that he was going to be the odd one out now. The school year had just started and he was convinced to make it a good one. He had been single since Kara left and he didn’t want to do it anymore, he wanted the full high school experience, dating and classes, work and stress.

He went through a mental list of people in his grade that he would consider dating, ones that he would have a good time with and he managed to narrow it down to two people before remembering that one of them had a boyfriend. So he shoved that thought out and zeroed in on the one person he thought it would work with.

He rolled off of his bed and pulled a sweatshirt on, grabbing his keys off his computer desk and heading out the door. He said bye to his parents and got in his car heading across town to his friends house.

He took a deep breath when he parked along the curb. He felt nervous, but he was pretty sure this was what he wanted. He walked casually up to the door, knocking gently five times waiting for someone to answer.

She looked shocked to see him when she answered the door, red hair framing her face delicately. “Hey,” she nodded.

“Hi Lindsay,” he smiled.

“What’s up?”

“I uh- I was wondering if you were doing anything this weekend?”

“Uh, I’m hanging with Meg Saturday morning but nothing else,” she shrugged. “Why?”

“Do you- I- I wanna take you on a date,” he said boldly.

“Uh… okay?”

“Is Saturday night okay?”

“Yeah, uh… seven?” she asked.

“I’ll pick you up here,”

“Okay,” she looked at him like he was crazy. Shrugging and shutting the door when he walked away. She texted Meg almost immediately after telling her she’d be over soon.

When she arrived at the girl’s house she walked inside, waving to her parents and taking the steps quickly. She crashed into Meg’s room startling her where she was sitting on her bed.

“What’s going on?”

“Michael just asked me out?” she said it as more of a question.

“What?”

“He just showed up at my house and asked me out Saturday night,”

“Did you say yes?”

“Yeah, but I thought- he and Gav?”

“I- I don’t know,” Meg said honestly. They sat quietly for a few minutes before Meg grabbed her phone and texted the Brit. _Michael and Lindsay?_

 _What do you mean?_ Was the instant reply.

_He just asked her out?_

_Oh._

_Did he say anything to you?”_

_No, we’re fighting._

_Why?_

_I’m going out with Caleb again._

_Fuck._

_Yup._

“Anything?” Lindsay asked trying to read over her shoulder.

“Gavin has no idea,” she said hiding her phone. She realized exactly what was going on, but she didn’t wanna get involved.

“Do you think Michael might actually like me?” she asked, face going pink.

“It’s definitely possible,” Meg shrugged, she kinda felt bad for lying so blatantly. “You guys have known each other for years. Maybe this was building up,”

“I just can’t imagine it,”

“Well, believe it baby. You’re going on a date with Michael Jones,”

“I- yeah, I am,” she smiled.

“Are you okay with that?”

“Yeah, Michael’s great,”

“Then don’t worry about it,” Meg shrugged, flipping her purple hair off her shoulder.

“You’re right, I’m just gonna enjoy this,”

“I’ll help you get ready, it’ll be fun,” Meg said clapping excitedly.

“I hope so,”

~~~

Gavin’s heart sank when Meg texted him. He didn’t think that Michael was into Lindsay. He had never even mentioned it to him, but now… he didn’t know what was going on. In a way he guessed it made sense, they had known each other even longer than he and Michael had and they were still pretty close friends, so them starting to date shouldn’t have been such a shock. Still it pissed him off.

The tears were misting over his eyes and he could feel the anger pooling low in his gut. Blindly he reached for his phone and hit speed dial number three, waiting for the red rose to pop up on his phone and holding it to his ear.

“Yeah?” Ray answered.

“I might’ve fucked up,”

“Oh boy,” Ray sighed. “How fast can you be here?”

“Twenty minutes?”

“See you then,” he hung up.

Thirty minutes later Gavin was standing in front of the boy’s bedroom door, clenching and unclenching his fists while he worked up the courage to open it. Before he could knock though Ray was pulling it open and looking at him without emotion.

“I can hear you,” he deadpanned, pulling him inside. “What happened?” he asked pushing Gavin onto the bed.

“He asked Lindsay out,” he seethed Ray looked at him blankly before blinking once, twice.

“What?”

“Michael asked Lindsay out,”

“Why?”

“I don’t bloody know!”

“There’s gotta be a reason Gav,”

“He didn’t tell me, we got in a fight,”

“About?”

“Caleb asked me out again. I told Michael, he got pissed and now he’s dating Lindsay,”

“Well there’s your fucking answer dumbass!” Ray rolled his eyes.

“What?”

“He’s jealous,”

“Of what?”

“You saying yes to Caleb!”

“I hadn’t yet, Michael and I got in a fight about it and then I said yes,”

“Out of spite?”

“No!” Gavin said quickly, but Ray didn’t know who he was trying to convince. “I like Caleb,”

“You do?”

“Yes,”

“But you love Michael,”

“I- yes, but that’s never gonna happen,” he shrugged.

“How do you know that?”

“It’s been a thousand years Ray. If Michael was gonna pick me he would’ve by now,”

“He could just be oblivious to his feelings,”

“Doubt it,”

“Then why are you still letting it eat at you?” Ray asked softly.

Gavin froze, really thinking about it. Ray was right, Gavin had been pretty certain that he and Michael were never going to happen multiple times before and yet, he continued to let Michael’s actions and words tell him otherwise; continued to allow Michael to dictate his decisions. If Michael had just be calm and told Michael that he didn’t approve the Brit most likely would’ve said no, but because he had gotten so angry instead Gavin changed his mind.

It was his senior year in high school and he needed to let things go, he needed to make his own choices and relax so that’s what he was going to do now. It wasn’t like he was going to marry Caleb anyway, where was the harm in going on a few dates?

“You’re right. I can’t let Michael control me,”

“Thank you!” Ray yelled. “It’s about God damn time!”

“I’m gonna date Caleb, and have a good time and enjoy myself,”

“There ya go,” Ray patted him on the back. “But Gavin, don’t date Caleb just because it’ll piss Michael off,”

“That’s really not it Ray,” the words felt sour on his tongue.

“Promise,”

“I swear, he’s changed,” at this point he sounded like a broken record, but still he pushed on.

“Okay,” Ray nodded. “I’ll believe it, but Gavin if he fucks up again I’ll destroy him,”

“I believe you, and don’t worry. If he ruins it again I’ll take care of it,”

“Okay, just. Let Michael date Lindsay and be a baby, you do you,”

“I’m going to,”

“But, you can’t go back on this. If Michael wants to be all over you and treat Caleb like shit you’ve gotta stand up for your relationship, don’t let him get away with it. Don’t shit on Lindsay either,”

“I’m not going to,”

“Good. Now come watch X-Men with me,”

“Done,” Gavin nodded.

~~~

Jack took Caiti mini-golfing for their first date, kissing her after every hole and talking about how excited he was that she was back. She giggled and blushed every other second and because he was so distracted by her she ended up winning.

“Griffon’s parents are so chill,” she said over ice cream later. “They let me do what they let Griffon do which is everything,”

“Well that’s good, maybe I’ll get to see you more,”

“You got me a lot last year too,”

“I know, but they were still stricter. Griffon’s parents let Geoff and her do stuff all the time,”

“Do stuff?” she asked wiggling her eyebrows.

“Not what I mean,” he laughed.

“Don’t worry we can do plenty of stuff,”

“Like go to an amusement park?”

“We’ll make a day of it,” she pecked him.

They walked back to the car shortly after and went to Griffon’s house where the blond answered and pulled Jack inside with them. He had yet to see Griffon’s room since Caiti moved in so he was excited when he walked in to find two beds separated by a nightstand and a dresser on one side of the room, overflowing closet on the other.

“This is adorable,”

“It’s a sleepover with your soul mate every night,” Griffon said in a high pitched voice.

Jack didn’t know what Geoff was talking about. He had called him the night before panicking about how distant his girlfriend had been the last month or so but whenever Jack was near Griffon and Geoff together she was upbeat and fun and didn’t seem odd at all. She was bubbly and talkative and always quick to pull others into the current conversation.

“Well, I let you girls go paint nails and have pillow fights then,”

“You don’t wanna stay and start the books?”

“I don’t have mine,”

“I have mine, we can read on together,” she shrugged sitting with her legs bent under her on her bed.

“Sure,” Jack nodded moving to sit next to her, patting the spot next to him for Caiti. The Australian shook her head though and went to the dresser.

“I don’t wanna be a distraction,” she explained, gathering some pajamas and make up remover. “I’m gonna take a shower, be out in a few,”

“Sure thing,” Griffon didn’t look up from the book she was reading the back of. “So the Crucible is a play,” she started when her bedroom door shut behind Caiti.

“What’s it about?”

“Salem witch trials or something? I don’t know, this Abigail chick is sleeping around with a married guy and starts accusing other girls,”

“Oh lovely,”

“Quite a charmer.” Her phone vibrated on the nightstand next to them a moment later. Jack reached for it and saw Geoff’s name written across the center but Griffon just took it, looked at it and set it aside. Now Jack was curious.

“Is everything okay with you two?”

“Yeah, why?” she answered quickly without looking at him.

“He’s just mentioned some concerns to me lately,”

“I don’t think there’s anything to be concerned about,” she said blankly.

“Okay…” he said slowly, turning to the first page and looking over the characters. “Should we assign parts?”

“Absolutely,”

Caiti returned when they were halfway through the first act, talking in ridiculous voices and making fun of the characters as they went. She paused in the doorway, rubbing a towel through her damp hair, laughing at her best friend and boyfriend when she saw the title of the book.

“It’s actually a pretty good read when you take it seriously,”

“Wait, you’ve read it?” Griffon asked shutting the book. “And you didn’t tell us?”

“I didn’t know it was one of the ones you missed?” she offered.

“Tell us everything,” Jack demanded facing her. Caiti just rolled her eyes and started talking about the things she could remember in the book before finally waving them off and telling them to watch the movie.

“There’s a movie!” Griffon yelled throwing herself back on her bed.

“Obviously,” Caiti laughed.

“I’m gonna find it,” Griffon said getting off the bed and running out of the room.

“Is there really?” Jack whispered just in case.

“Yes!” she laughed. “I swear, there’s a movie,”

“Okay,” Griffon pushed the door open with her foot, laptop in hands. “I’m gonna find it, and we’re gonna watch it right now,”

They all piled onto her bed with the laptop in front of them while they searched the internet before Griffon finally found it on some sketchy site that Caiti pointed out would most likely give her a virus. The blond waved her off though and hit play sitting back with a notebook and pen to take notes. Caiti, having seen the movie, just sat closer to Jack and put her head on his shoulder. He was doing fine for the first half of the movie, following along and analyzing with Griffon whenever she paused to go over something but when Caiti’s hand slipped from his arm to his thigh he couldn’t concentrate. His hand found hers, stilling it from where she was rubbing up and down, squeezing as a sign to get her to stop. She looked innocently up at him, smirking when he glared before moving her hand away.

When the movie ended they took a few minutes to go over the notes they gathered before Jack was checking to see if he had his phone and keys and announce that he had to start heading home. Griffon hugged him goodbye, telling Caiti to walk him out before going back to her computer.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Caiti said when they reached his car.

“Love you,”

“Love you too,” she kissed him and stepped back, allowing him enough room to slide into his car and drive away.

When she got back to their bedroom she jumped on her bed like a starfish sighing blissfully. She threw Griffon the finger when she laughed at her but didn’t let it get to her, she was far too happy to let anyone ruin it.

~~~

Caleb held his hand the entire time the movie played, only letting go when they got out of their seats and stumbled down the stairs of the theater after the bright lights blinded them from being off so long. When they reached the bottom and went for the door he laced their fingers together again and Gavin fought the urge to rip his hand away. It was dark when they got outside, stars dim against the bright lights of the city. They walked the short distance to Caleb’s car, stopping once they were inside to figure out where they were going to go next. Gavin was about to suggest the mall when he noticed how late it was from the time of the dash and admitted that it was almost his curfew.

Caleb threw the car in reverse and backed out, hand finding Gavin’s from where it was resting in his lap. The theater wasn’t far from Gavin’s house so they pulled in pretty soon, both climbing out so Caleb could walk him to the door. Gavin was half hoping his mom was waiting so she would rip the door open just before anything happened but he couldn’t get that lucky it seemed.

“So have I proved myself?” Caleb asked sounding nervous.

“I guess,” Gavin smirked.

“Does that mean I can have another date?”

“Just this once,”

“I’ll take it,” he nodded, putting one hand on Gavin’s hip and bringing him closer. Gavin avoided eye contact, smiling at the ground when Caleb’s hand came up to his chin and tilted it towards him. “I’m really happy you gave me another chance,”

“Me too.” The words hurt. Caleb grinned at this, bringing him so their chests were pressed together before connecting their lips. It was different than any other kiss they had shared, kind of frantic but also gentle, it didn’t leave Gavin’s head spinning or skin tingling so when they pulled away he pressed Caleb’s arm with his hand and wished him a goodnight.

When he got inside he pressed his back against the door and sighed, shooting his parents a look when they opened their mouths to speak. They both held their hands up defensively and turned away, deciding that he’d come to them when he was ready. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see five texts, two from Geoff wishing him good luck and another telling him that he wouldn’t hesitate to ruin Caleb’s life if he did something, one from Ray telling him to call him after, another from Ryan saying he wanted to hear all about it and one from Michael that shocked him.

_I’m sorry I was an ass. I want you to be happy._

Gavin locked his phone and put it back in his pocket going up to his room and changing before crawling into bed and pulling the covers up over his head.

~~~

The hours leading up to their date Saturday left Michael feeling ill. He was worried that it would be a mistake leaving both of them uncomfortable around each other, but when he pulled up to her house and she stepped out hugging him in the middle of her driveway and smiling beautifully he felt calm.

He didn’t tell her where they were going but when they pulled up in front of the bowling alley she laughed. “I used to come here all the time,” she told him.

“I remember, you had every birthday party here for like years,”

“And you came to every one,”

“Of course I did, and I kicked everyone’s asses,”

“Until Ray actually started trying,” she pointed out earning an eye roll.

“He got lucky a few times but he is no master,”

“And you are?”

“Yes, and I’m about to prove it to you,” he said poking her nose and moving to get out of the car. They raced each other to the door, Lindsay winning by half a second and holding it open for Michael who tipped his imaginary hat at her and waltzed inside. He greeted the girl at the counter politely and gave him his shoe size, turning to Lindsay for hers and then threw down a few bills while the girl told them they’d be on the first lane without bumpers.

“You know,” Lindsay started when they both had their shoes on and names typed into the system. “We always used bumpers back then,”

“I know, why? Afraid you’re going to do absolute shit?”

“It’s not me I’m worried about. You’re the one that always won _with_ bumpers,”

“I’ve had plenty of practice,” he assured her. “I almost feel bad for when you lose,”

“Do you wanna put a bet on this?”

“It’s up to you really,” he shrugged. “You’re the one that’ll lose,”

“You seem really confident. How about if you lose you buy me a slushy,” she said pointing towards the snack bar.

“I’ll buy you one anyway but sure,” he shrugged moving to take his first ball, spinning it in his hands a few times and lining up his shot. “Get ready with that ten,” he called behind him tossing it down the lane, whooping loudly when all but one pin fell.

“That’s still not a ten,” Lindsay sang.

“I get one more shot though,” he waggled a finger at her. She held her hands up and sat back, gesturing for him to continue. He took the final pin out easily and walked calmly back to his seat, grinning at the middle finger Lindsay help up at him.

“I feel bad for you,” she whispered getting off her seat and moving to the lane. She picked a ball up, turned around to look at Michael and winked before throwing it with all her force and cheering loudly when every pin dropped. “What now bitch!” she said loudly, apologizing to the mother that glared at her a few lanes down.

“Looks like I’m not the only one that’s been practicing,” he nodded approvingly.

“Nope,” she popped the ‘p.’

The next few rounds went easy, both of them getting high scores until Michael got cocky when he was five ahead and started showing off. Round five ended with a ball in the gutter on his part and Lindsay, also getting cocky, ended up knocking only two pins down.

“This is getting intense,”

“Getting scared?”

“Not even a little bit,” he smirked.

Soon it was down to the last round and Lindsay was ahead by three points. Michael let the stress get to him and soon his first ball was knocking down three pins and his second hit the gutter. “Dammit!” he yelled stomping back to his seat. Lindsay passed him with a grin and picked her first ball up, tossing it easily down the lane and jumping up and down when she got seven down. Her last ball hit two more and won her the round making Michael press the nine button and sink down in his chair until he was slumped over on the floor.

“I want a blue raspberry slushy,” she said walking past him. He glared up and her but stood up and hit the end game button going to the counter for their score sheet and heading for the snack bar. They grabbed a small table for two and set their things down, moving up to the counter to order agreeing on slushies and a pizza before returning to their seats while they waited.

“I’m really glad we did this,” he admitted, sliding his hand closer to hers where it was resting on the tabletop. And he was glad when he realized he wasn’t lying.

She noticed. “Why _did_ you ask me out all of the sudden?”

He had to think of something quick, something cute or romantic. “I’ve kinda always had a thing for you but I didn’t really give it any thought until this summer,”

“Oh?” she asked, hand inching closer.

“Yeah, we were all hanging out at the ice cream parlor, remember?” he paused waiting for her to nod. “I yelled at Gavin when he bumped into me and my ice cream hit the ground and you immediately gave me yours and went to get another,”

“That’s adorable,” their hands were overlapping.

“You’re adorable,”

She rolled her eyes, moving her hand away when a man carrying their pizza approached, sliding it between them before turning and making his way back through the swinging door to the kitchen. They each grabbed a paper plate and started tearing the pizza apart.

“This stuff is mad greasy,” she commented, grabbing a paper towel to dab at it.

“Oh God, you’re one of _those_ girls,” he said jokingly.

“Normally I’m not, but this thing is literally swimming,” she stuck her tongue out, taking a bite and nodding approvingly. “Better,”

“You wouldn’t know! You didn’t take a bite before you ripped all the moisture away,”

“Women’s intuition,”

“Shut up,” he laughed. “Here,” he held his pizza out to her, pushing it against her mouth until she opened it. Finally she narrowed her eyes at him and took a small bite.

“That’s shit and mine is better,” she declared after a moment of thought.

“Oh, go home,” he waved her off taking a big bite and chewing obnoxiously.

They made small talk while they devoured their pizza; Michael making fun over Lindsay’s stack of grease covered napkins. Soon the tray was empty and they were pushing their chairs in taking their score sheet to the car where Michael handed it to her as a souvenir. He took the long way back to her house, genuinely enjoying her company while she sang along off key to the radio.

“Well, here we are,” he said quietly when they pulled up on the curb. He turned the music down and turned to face her. “Should I walk you to the door or?”

“Oh no, I wouldn’t expect you to be a proper gentlemen,” she teased undoing her seatbelt and opening her door. Michael glared at her and unlocked his, throwing his door open and rushing around to beat her to the door. He waited patiently for her to reach him before bowing and taking her hand.

“I had a lovely evening Miss Tuggey, I hope we can do this again sometime,”

“I suppose,” she said in a mock posh accent.

“Splendid,” he cheered. He pulled her a little closer and smiled. “Does your gentleman get a kiss goodnight?”

“What? Do you think I’m some common whore?”

“Pft, a rare whore,” he assured, winking. She giggled before nodding and leaning in.

“I guess you can have just one,” she whispered connecting their lips. Michael had heard the whole ‘butterflies in your stomach’ and ‘fireworks’ thing but he had never really experienced it. Kara was a great kisser, but they didn’t really connect personality wise, but with Lindsay… they grew up together, they knew each other. All of Michael’s pervious doubts melted away with their kiss.

He was practically bouncing in his seat when he got back in the car, waiting until her door was shut and her bedroom light was on to show that she made it up safely, without the attack of her parents. He drove home with his windows down and music blasting out of the radio, ignoring all the looks runners and bikers gave him when he drove by. He was far too happy to let them ruin his good mood.

When he reached his house he pulled his phone out and sent a text to Lindsay wishing her a goodnight and asking if the next Saturday at the same time would work. When she answered with a yes he leaned back with a dumb grin on his face and threw a fist in the air.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a lot of stuff left for everyone to go through, so be prepared for the next few chapters.


	27. Chapter 27

Playlist [here](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Michael had never been happier. He and Lindsay had been dating for two months, his classes were going great and his friends were awesome. He had surprised Lindsay the night before, taking her to the new arcade in the mall where she proceeded to _destroy_ him in every game they played. Not that he’d admit it to his friends at lunch though.

“That’s not what happened!” he argued when Lindsay summarized the night to their lunch table.

“Yes! It fucking is!” she yelled poking him in the chest. “I hit the five hundred every time!”

“Not the first two times! You threw way too far left,”

“But I brought it back,” she sang.

“Yes, but that’s not the story you were painting. You’re a filthy fucking liar!”

“Michael, don’t tell them,” she laughed. Everyone watched the two, shaking their heads or rolling their eyes while they stared at each other heatedly.

“Gavin, can you fucking believe this chick?” Michael stage whispered throwing his arm around the Brit.

“You’ll get her next time,” he said without looking over at him. When Michael didn’t move his arm right after, Gavin shifted rolling his shoulders so Michael’s arm fell off. The redhead gave him an odd look but no one else noticed and Gavin didn’t acknowledge him.

“Yeah,” he said slowly, leaning back in his chair, still watching Gavin. “I call a rematch!” he turned back to Lindsay leaning closer. She rolled her eyes and surged forward, kissing him quickly before leaning back. The girls at the table cooed while Geoff and Jack gagged.

“Well, half of lunch is over so I’m off,” Gavin announced, chair scraping against the floor when he pushed back.

“Why do you need to sit with him at all?” Michael whined, grabbing Gavin’s sleeve.

“Cause you guys won’t let him sit here at all,” he rolled his eyes, tugging free of Michael’ grasp and taking his back pack and tray with him across the cafeteria.

“Hey babe,” Caleb grinned when he approached. As usual he was sitting alone with a history book out in front of him, but Gavin knew him well enough to know he was actually watching Frisbee videos on his phone behind it.

“Hi,”

“How are you?”

“Good, tired,”

“I hope you’re not too tired. We’ve got a date this afternoon,” he said bopping Gavin on the nose. He scrunched it up and leaned away smiling.

“I’m well aware and yes I’ll be wide awake for it,”

“Oh please, you’re gonna end up falling asleep on my bed like you did before,”

“You were boring before,” he shrugged.

“I’m never boring!” he said mock offended, hand over his head.

“You are when you try explaining sports to me,” he waved him off.

“You said I was cute when I talked sports!”

“You’re always cute, doesn’t matter what the subject is,”

“You’re too nice,”

“Way too good for you,” he nodded.

“Shut up,”

Gavin laughed and leaned back, taking a bite of his pizza when Caleb stood up and slid into the seat next to him. He puckered his lips once, asking for permission with his eyes and Gavin rolled his eyes before leaning in. They met halfway, sharing a cute peck before Gavin pulled away. “Are we gonna be that annoying couple in the restaurant? The ones that others make fun of because we sit _right_ next to each other,”

“If you stand up and meet me in a kiss halfway across then no,” he smiled.

“Depends on how the dates going,”

“Aren’t they always great?” Gavin just shrugged at him laughing when Caleb elbowed him in the stomach.

“They’re great,” Caleb raised a brow, fingers moving to tickle his sides. “They’re perfect!” he yelped, swatting at him. Caleb didn’t stop until the bell rang and Gavin was sliding out of his seat, striding towards the trashcans.

They met Ryan and Michael in the hallway, all going to history together. Michael was quick to throw an arm around Gavin’s shoulders but when Caleb held his hand he used it as an excuse to pull away, letting Michael’s arm slide off of him when they reached the staircase. They raced up the steps to get to their classroom, discussing the upcoming quiz. Gavin pretended not to notice Michael’s glare.

“I’m absolutely going to fail,” Gavin commented.

“We studied,” Caleb tilted his head. “You got every question right,”

“We didn’t study long,” Gavin sang, winking and earning a light punch in the back from Ryan.

“Don’t wanna hear about your sex life,” he mumbled, pushing past them.

“Me either,” Michael nodded, sliding into the seat next to Ryan. Gavin and Caleb took their seats behind them, giggling at each other while their teacher started writing their agenda on the board.

“Good luck,” Caleb whispered, kissing Gavin on the cheek. Michael had turned around to say the same thing, freezing when he caught the display of affection. Gavin caught his eye after, raising a brow but Michael just shook his head and turned back around.

They didn’t get a chance to talk until the bell was ringing and Ryan was walking Gavin and Michael to English so he could see Ray.

“Are you going to the party this weekend?” Michael asked, mainly to Gavin.

“What party?” he and Ryan both asked.

“Miles is throwing a party Friday,”

“I’ll talk to Caleb,” Gavin shrugged. Michael frowned at that, but turned to Ryan instead of dwelling on it.

“I’ll ask Ray,”

“Ask me what?” said boy asked coming from behind them. “Also, you do realize my class is literally twenty feet from yours, you could wait,”

“Sorry,” Ryan said sheepishly. He kissed Ray on the forehead and grabbed his hand walking behind Michael and Gavin. “Do you wanna go to a party this weekend?”

“Sure,” he shrugged.

They reached their classroom shortly after, sliding into their seats around Meg. Ryan only stayed for a few more minutes before realizing the warning bell was about to ring. He waved goodbye and kissed Ray again before running out.

Michael sat next to Gavin as always and reached out, dropping his hand on Gavin’s shoulder and pulling him a little closer. Gavin slipped out of it though, leaning away. He shot Michael an apologetic look when the redhead glared opening his mouth to say something when their teacher cut them off with the day’s assignment.

After an hour and a half of what they’d all describe as nonsense the bell rang and they were finally free for the day. Gavin was the first to get out of the classroom, pulling his phone out. Michael was right on his heels behind him.

“Gavin, wait!” he called nearly running. He gabbed Gavin’s wrist when he was close enough, bringing him to a stop. He opened his mouth to speak when Gavin ripped his arm out of his grasp. “What the fuck is up with you? Caleb cheat again? He joked. Gavin glared.

“Not funny Michael,” he said lowly.

“Sorry,” he didn’t sound it. “Why so… jumpy?”

“Nothing, I just… you’ve been really touchy lately,”

“You’re my boi, I’m always touchy,” it was like Gavin had never met him before.

“I know,” he sighed. “It’s just... it’s weird,”

“I- has- did Caleb say something? Is he worried?” he laughed pinching Gavin’s cheek.

“No, it’s not him,” he shoved Michael’s hand away from him. “It’s me that noticed it. It just feels… wrong,”

“We’ve done it before,” he was trying to be calm but Gavin could see the hurt in his eyes.

“I know, but we’re both older now and it feels bad to be all over someone else. Am I crazy?”

“A little bit,” the redhead admitted.

“Look, just… tone it down. Please,”

“Okay?”

“I’ve gotta go, I have a date,” he announced, turning and rushing off. Michael watched him go, eyebrows knit together.

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and sent a text to Geoff. _Swings?_

_I can’t I took an extra shift at work tonight._

_Later?_

_I’ll text you when I’m out._

_Thanks._

He walked the rest of the way to his locker, swinging it open forcefully, letting it slam against the ones behind it. He ripped his back pack off the hanger and flung it over his shoulder slamming the door shut after. Gavin was being fucking ridiculous. With Kara and Caleb the first time they were fine, they’d hold hands and cuddle and sleep next to each other almost every night, it was no big deal. Now they were older and it should still be the same.

He got to the parking lot and slid in his car, starting the short trip home where he’d wait impatiently for Geoff to text him. It was gonna be a long fucking afternoon.

~~~

“You still haven’t answered my question,” Gavin whispered when Caleb finally pulled off of him so they could breathe.

“No offense, but last time we went to a party together I got the shit kicked out of me,” Caleb explained.

“No offense,” Gavin started. “Last time we went to a party together you cheated on me, so you deserved it. Really I should be more worried about this than you,”

“I won’t leave your side,”

“So you’ll go?”

“Well, I can’t let you go alone, all those other guys and gals will be all over my man,”

“Can’t have that happen,” Gavin smiled.

“Not at all,” Caleb leaned closer again, covering Gavin’s mouth with his. They had been kissing a lot since they got back together, like they were making up for all their lost time. Normally Gavin would’ve liked to have more… depth in the relationship, but with Caleb he didn’t really think he could get that anyway.

He liked that Caleb didn’t push him further, like he was still walking on eggshells around Gavin after the first time they were together. His hands stayed firmly above Gavin’s shirt, rubbing soothing circles on his hipbones. While their kisses were fast and firm Caleb had a way of keeping it calm, gentle. That of course didn’t mean that Gavin didn’t sometimes like a little more.

He threaded his fingers through Caleb’s hair tugging lightly. Caleb let out a little moan and pulled back, lips popping off of Gavin’s, making the Brit giggle. “You can’t keep doing that,”

“Why not?” Gavin asked innocently, but the look in his eye told Caleb he knew exactly what was going on.

“I won’t want to stop,” he whispered, kissing down Gavin’s neck.

“How about a movie then?” he grunted when Caleb bit down. After a few long seconds Gavin pushed at his shoulders and threw him a stern look.

“Tease,” Caleb winked, pecking him on the lips before rolling off and moving to turn his TV on. Gavin just stuck his tongue out at him and sat up, running his fingers through his hair to try and tame it.

Caleb put on _The Lion King_ and left the room without a word, coming back in the middle of _Circle of Life_ with snacks and drinks, settling in next to his boyfriend and giving him a bottle of water.

“Great movie,” Gavin complimented.

“My all time favorite,” Caleb smiled.

Gavin ended up watching Caleb more than the actual movie. The slow curve of his mouth when there was something funny happening, the narrowing of his eyes whenever Scar was on the screen and the way his hand reached for Gavin’s as soon as Mufasa fell. They sat closer as the movie went until Gavin’s head was resting on his shoulder and his eyes were drifting shut.

He woke up a few hours later, resting on Caleb’s chest where they were both lying horizontally on his bed and his phone was buzzing in his pocket. He pulled it out to see Ray’s face across the screen. He sat up and answered the call, voice groggy.

“’lo?”

“I’ve been texting you for like an hour,”

“I was sleeping,”

“Oh, well, I’m bored,”

“Okay and?”

“Come over,” Ray whined.

“Really? Where’s Ryan?”

“He had a lot of homework,”

“Oh, I’ll wake Caleb up and have him drive me over,”

“You slept with Caleb? Scandalous,” he whispered.

“Shut up,” Gavin laughed, “I’ll be there in thirty,”

“Love you, bye!”

“Love you too,” he hung up and shoved the phone back in his pocket, turning around and poking Caleb in the stomach. He didn’t stir until the fifth time Gavin jabbed at his ribs and then he was bolting upright, hand reaching out to grab whatever was attacking him. He glared when he came face to face with his boyfriend.

“I was comfortable,” he stated.

“I know, but I need you to take me to Ray’s,”

“Why?”

“He just called me and he’s bored, and I should spend the night there anyway,”

“Why?”

“Cause my parents would never let me spend the night here,”

“You could just lie,”

“I’d never lie to my parents,” Gavin said throwing a hand over his heart. When Caleb raised an eye at him though he removed it and flipped him off. “Okay, maybe a few times,”

“Thought so, I’ll get my shoes,”

~~~

As usual when Geoff got to the swings after a long shift at work and found Michael practically soaring he thought something _horrible_ had happened. When the redhead dug his feet into the woodchips and brought himself to a hard stop though to announce that he and Gavin were on strained terms because of _touching_ he was not impressed. He leaned against the metal pole of the swing set instead of getting on and listened carefully, making mental notes and trying to keep himself from exploding.

“He’s being totally ridiculous right?” he finally paused, addressing Geoff directly. As soon as he had shown up and gotten close enough Michael had gone off like a rocket.

“Michael, why is this bugging you so much? You can’t _touch_ him because you’re both in relationships? Who cares?” he held up his hands, shrugging.

“That’s not it! I just… He lets Caleb do whatever he wants and it’s not a big deal.”

“Michael, you- do you realize why that is?” Geoff was beyond confused now.

“No! We’re best friends. We hold hands and cuddle,”

“Okay, you need to realize that you and Gavin have significant others now and to other students it looks wrong,”

“I don’t care what they think though,” Michael argued. Geoff sighed and rubbed a hand over his face.

“Gavin does. Think of it like this. Caleb cheated and everyone knows that, now they’re back together and it looks like Gavin is cheating. It’s about his rep,”

“Since when does Gavin care about his reputation?”

“Michael, you have Lindsay to hug and cuddle and kiss now, you don’t need Gavin too,” it was late, he was tired and Michael was stupid he concluded.

“I don’t- it’s not like that with him. He’s my best friend,”

“Jack is my best friend. I don’t cuddle him and hold his hand though,”

“You’ve never been like that though,” Michael explained. There was a strange look in his eye, like- like _desperation_ for Geoff to understand. “Gavin and I have _always_ been close and now he’s telling me to just stop and I _can’t,”_

So it wasn’t about a jealousy thing after all. It was a comfort thing for Michael. Gavin was like his security blanket and now he was violently ripping himself away. _Still fucking weird._

“Well you need to try because it’s making him uncomfortable and he might end up _forcibly_ removing himself if you can’t keep it in your pants,”

Michael glowered at him but nodded anyway, looking back to the woodchips below him. Geoff almost felt bad but _come the fuck on,_ Michael and Gavin had been dancing around each other _for-fucking-ever_ and now of all fucking times, it was coming to a head. Geoff had enough to worry about, like his distant girlfriend, grades, college, work, he did not need drama between his in denial gay best friend and the other gay best friend that’s in love with him.

“I’m not trying to be a dick Michael, but Gavin has his reasons and you really should- just try. Promise to at least try,”

“Okay, I promise,” he mumbled.

“It’s late, we should both get home,”

“Yeah,”

Now Geoff did feel horrible. Michael, the strong and fierce one of the group, the one that would beat the fuck out of _anyone_ who messed with one of his gents or lads, looked so defeated when he stepped off the swings. “Hey,” Geoff said quietly, when Michael looked at him he opened his arms and gestured for him to step in. “It’s gonna be fine, in a week this won’t be a big deal. And you have Lindsay and she’s great for you,”

“I know,” Michael said, and he sounded like he really knew. When they pulled back Michael was smiling at him and Geoff knew he’d be just fine.

“Call me if you need me,” he said seriously. Michael nodded and they started walking to where they had parked along the curb before going their separate ways.

~~~

Jack knew it was gonna be a bad night.

As soon as they pulled up to Miles’ house around nine thirty he knew that it was gonna go wrong somewhere. The music was too loud and there seemed to be a thousand people packed into the decent sized home. Still, Jack and Geoff climbed out of the car and waited for Ryan to park with the lads behind them. Ray was the first one to get out, making a beeline for Jack and Geoff.

“Kill me now,” he sighed, leaning his head on Jack’s shoulder.

“Why?”

“The sexual tension is killing me,”

“Who? You and Rye?”

“I wish,” he rolled his eyes. “Gavin won’t shut up about Caleb and Michael is just watching him like a kicked puppy whose owner won’t give him treats,”

“Christ,” Jack shook his head. He turned to Geoff when his phone beeped in his hand. “Caiti and Griffon are here,”

“Oh joy, just another night of me getting ignored by my girlfriend,” he sighed.

“Geoff,”

“I know, I know, be positive,” he put on a fake grin and started scanning the neighborhood around them for any sign of his girlfriend or Jack’s.

When they turned the corner and ducked under a low tree branch, finally coming into clear view Geoff and Jack both stepped forward. Caiti went straight to Jack, linking their fingers together and heading straight for the door. Geoff reached for Griffon who hesitated before taking his hand and kissing him on the cheek. She didn’t make any eye contact with him.

“I’m gonna go find Caleb,” Gavin announced shoving his phone in his pocket and practically skipping up the stairs. Michael followed after him less enthusiastically followed by Ray and Ryan who were already planning on finding the soda and hanging in the living room as they usually did.

“Ready?” Geoff asked, trying to meet Griffon’s eyes. She nodded and started walking towards the house when he gripped her hand tighter and pulled her back. “You okay?” he wouldn’t push.

“Fine,” she shrugged. He knew that she could tell he knew she was lying, but still he nodded and walked inside with her.

They went to the kitchen for drinks first before Griffon ran into Barbara and Tina and took off, promising Geoff she’d see him soon. He knew it was another lie.

He heard his name being called and looked over to see Blaine and Kerry setting up a table for beer pong waving him over excitedly. “You’ve gotta play a round!” Blaine called out.

“I don’t know guys. I’m not really feeling it tonight,”

“Oh come on!” Kerry yelled, already wasted. The seniors around them started chanting his name until he sighed and trudged over. He and Blaine stood on one side of the table, Kerry and some transfer student from LA named Adam on the other.

They won the first round easy, but it still left Geoff a little tipsy and after a few shots with Barbara and Arryn he was pulled in for another. He scanned the crowd and found Griffon standing nearby, talking with some random guys in the junior class.

He missed the first shot.

It derailed quickly from there. He and Blaine managed to get a few of their shots in, making the other team chug beer, but when it came down to it Blaine was the one doing all the work and when it was down to two cups on their side and five on the other Geoff knew his emotions were getting to him.

He pulled it together enough to bring it to one on one but when it was the last shot and Blaine handed him the ball, swaying with glazed eyes Geoff knew he wasn’t gonna make it.

Now, he had never lost a game of pong before so when he threw it and it bounced once, twice, and right off the table everyone got quiet waiting for the next shot. Newcomer Adam took the final shot; sinking it directly in and making the crowd go wild. Some were cheering for the new winners and others were booing at Geoff for losing. Blaine was staring at him slack jawed, sliding the final cup over to him and shaking his head. “Sorry,” he shrugged.

It wasn’t his fault, he told them he wasn’t in the mood. He chugged the drink and pushed his way through the crowd. He was about ten steps into the hallway when he stumbled into the wall, hitting his head and rubbing quickly at his forehead.

“Are you okay?” a quiet voice asked behind him. He turned around to find Griffon standing with her hands behind her back and eyes watching the ceiling instead of her boyfriend.

“Fine,” he mumbled. He pulled his hand away to see a line of red and looked to see just what he had hit; a picture frame corner.

“You’re bleeding,” she commented, reaching for him but stopping inches away and letting her hand drop. “Come on,” she motioned for him to follow her into the bathroom a few feet behind them, shutting the door and ignoring the howls from other partygoers. She ripped a piece of toilet paper off the roll and held it to his head while she searched around for a first aid kit.

“Thanks,” he took the band aid she held out to him, making to stand up but her hands on his shoulders kept him down. She set the kit back down and grabbed the band aid from him ignoring his confused look when she peeled it open and stuck it on the small cut, tongue sticking out in concentration.

“Can’t believe you lost,” she whispered.

“Wasn’t really feeling it tonight,”

She hummed and nodded, making sure she had cleaned up their little mess before pulling the door open and walking out without another word. Now Geoff was mad. He stood up, wobbling, and rushed after her, stopping her with an arm on her shoulder in the hall. She turned around shocked. “What?”

“What the fuck is going on with you lately?”

“Nothing,”

“No, Griffon, it’s not nothing and I’m getting sick of this,”

“Geoff,” her voice held a silent warning, eyes scanning the onlookers around them.

“Fine,” he held his hands up stepping away. “Whatever,” he stormed into the living room almost knocking some drunk girl over while she grinded on some random guy. He pushed on, ignoring her cry of rage and scanned the room until he came across Caiti, blue eyes nearly piercing from across the room. He rushed over, grabbing Jack from the conversation he was having next to her. “I wanna leave,” he said quickly.

“What happened?”

“I want to go home,” he whined. Jack looked at Caiti with wide eyes, mouth open to speak but she cut him off.

“It’s okay, take him to your house and give him a cuddle,”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, family first,” she smiled. “Text me when you get home safe,”

“I love you,”

“I love you too,” she leaned over to give him a quick peck, patting Geoff on the arm before moving to go find Griffon Jack assumed. He wrapped an arm around Geoff’s shoulder and waved goodbye to his friends, turning to walk through the kitchen and through the door. They passed Ray and Ryan on the way, looking worriedly at Geoff then at Jack who just shook his head and mouthed, _call you later._ They nodded and waved, watching them leave.

They stumbled down the steps and sidewalk to Jack’s car, opening the doors and sliding in clumsily. Geoff leaned back with his head on the rest and groaning. Jack sighed and reached across him, grabbing the seatbelt and locking him in before sitting back quietly. They sat still for five minutes before Geoff wailed and turned to Jack with a pout.

“She doesn’t love me anymore!”

“Did she say that?”

“She doesn’t need to,” he crossed his arms over his chest. “I can tell by the way she’s avoiding all fucking contact and conversation with me,”

“Geoff, we don’t know anything for sure,”

“I know my girlfriend,” he cried.

“Shut up,” Jack snapped. “You have got to give her space, if you suffocate her she’s gone for good. Something is obviously going on and she’s working through it so for the love of God shut the fuck up,”

He sank in his seat staring out the window quietly. Jack took it as a victory, turning the car on and driving towards his house. They were halfway down the street when Geoff reached over and dropped his hand on Jack’s shoulder.

“Thanks,”

“For what?”

“Tough love,”

“Don’t worry about it,”

Jack turned at the stop sign and ten minutes later when Geoff was fast asleep as they pulled up to his house he let out a sigh of relief.

~~~

Michael was tipsy.

The second he walked into the party he was in the kitchen taking shots before walking into the living room to find his girlfriend standing around with Gavin, Caleb, Barbara, Tina and Meg. He greeted her with a sweet kiss, turning to Gavin with a small smile. It turned into a glare though when yet again Gavin ignored him, deciding to start a conversation with Meg. It got worse within minutes really. Michael started drinking anything that was handed to him or put in front of him, to the point that Lindsay was dropping a hand on his arm and shooting him a worried look.

“Slow down,”

“I’m fine,” he muttered, taking another long sip.

“Are you sure? You’re being weird,”

“Just wanna have a good time,” he said plastering a smirk on his face and wiggling a brow at her. She just shrugged and took his hand, sipping at her own drink.

They chatted with the kids around them, greeting others when they passed for about a half hour before Meg grabbed Gavin and Caleb’s hands and pulled them off to the dance floor. Michael tried to ignore them, but every ten seconds it seemed his eyes were drifting off to the sandwich they made on the outskirts. Gavin was between them, awkwardly moving back and forth from the hands covering his body. Meg’s were on his shoulders, pushing him back and forth and Caleb’s were on his hips. It really was quite risqué and Michael knew Gavin wasn’t nearly drunk enough to be comfortable with that, not that Caleb and Meg would ever know him well enough to get that.

He didn’t realize he was bristling until Lindsay put a hand on his shoulder and squeezed lightly, pulling his focus back to her. “Are you sure you’re okay? We can leave,” she offered.

“I’m good, I swear,” he shook himself out of it, hand gripping hers tightly. He felt bad for scaring her so he leaned forward and kissed her, trying to prove he was alright. He was pretty sure it worked by the way she sighed and relaxed into it, hand moving up to stroke his cheek. He laid a hand on her waist and tugged her closer, biting her lip as he started to pull away, smirking at her. She smiled and looked to the ground, giggling when Michael swept in and kissed her on the tip of the nose. “You’re cute,”

“You have a lot of freckles,” she said trailing her fingers along the bridge of his nose and under his eyes. He laughed and kissed her again, promising himself he’d calm the fuck down and stop drinking.

That lasted for about ten minutes.

He joined a conversation with Miles, Arryn and Jon about video games and anime for a while before Lindsay announced she was going to the bathroom and took off. Michael did fine without her for a few minutes, before he heard a familiar squeaking laugh and turned to see Caleb leading a stumbling Gavin down the hall and towards the front door. Meg came back to them a moment later; panting from all her dancing, sweat practically dripping off her forehead.

“Where are they going?”

“Home,” she shrugged. “Gav is really drunk,”

“When did he start drinking?”

“After we started dancing,” she shrugged. “Caleb went and got them some drinks, and then some more, and then more,”

A thought struck him out of nowhere. Something weird pooled low in his gut. Gavin wouldn’t just go sleep with someone. He wasn’t that kind of guy. But… he was drunk. And Caleb _was_ that kind of guy. He couldn’t tell if it was anger or fear that struck him, heart nearly stopping when he suddenly slammed his cup down and pushed through the crowds. He was almost to the door when he saw Lindsay coming towards him and stopped.

“Where are you going?

“I’ve gotta go, I think- Gavin…” he didn’t know what to tell her. He didn’t want to alarm her but he also felt he needed to give her some sort of explanation.

“Okay?”

“Sorry,” was all he offered before he moved around her and ran out the front door ignoring Ryan calling his name behind him. He pulled his phone out and called Gavin, huffing when it went straight to voicemail. Leave it to him to turn his fucking phone off or let it die when it was most important for it to be on. He called two more times before deciding _fuck it_ and heading in the general direction of Gavin’s house. _What if they went to Caleb’s though?_ He didn’t know his address, so he just prayed that Gavin would be smart and go home so he could find him there.

He called him a few more times on the long walk, nearly tripping over roots and cracks the whole way. He was not sober enough for this bullshit, but when Gavin answered he felt like he had never had a drink in his life, rage overtaking him.

“What?” he sounded tired.

“You’re fucking drunk and you go off to have sex? How stupid are you? Gavin this kid could have all sorts of STD’s and shit. He sleeps around a lot and I don’t need you getting the clap!”

“What are you talking about?”

“He got you drunk and took you home! I thought you were smarter than that!”

“Michael,” Gavin said calmly. “I am home, alone, in bed, without Caleb,”

Michael stopped in the middle of the sidewalk, cringing at himself. He had to get out of this hole before it got too deep he knew. “Oh, I- I thought,”

“Where are you? It’s awfully quiet,”

“I’m halfway to your house,”

“See you soon,” Gavin said, hanging up. Michael let out a groan and dragged his feet the rest of the way. He felt like a child that had snuck out and knew his parents would be waiting with a lecture at home.

Gavin was sitting on his front porch when Michael got there, elbows on his knees and head in his hands. He sat up straighter when Michael approached. “Now, I’m drunk,” he started, “and I assume you are too, so I’ll go easy. I had a few drinks, danced with Caleb and Meg, had a few more drinks during and after because obviously dancing isn’t my thing, then Caleb decided to take me home and tuck me in when I got a little too handsy in front of a bunch of strangers. He brought me here, waited until I was inside and then left without even kissing me goodnight,” he explained. “Now, I don’t understand what the fuck your problem with my boyfriend is. Well, I do,” he said after when Michael opened his mouth. “But that was years ago, and I wouldn’t give up my virginity in a drunk night of lust,” he finished. Michael took a moment to process, mind spinning. He hated Caleb, wanted so badly to believe that he would be a dick and he could hate him with no consequence, but dammit he was being a good guy and Michael had to give him some bonus points.

“I- fuck, I’m sorry Gavin,”

“It’s not me you should apologize to- well, it is but you should also apologize to Caleb,”

“Why do we have to bring him into this?”

“Why do we- you bloody started this! You can’t let go of the fucking past Michael! You’re being ridiculous, you have Lindsay, I have Caleb, I’m happy and I don’t get why you are trying to ruin it. Even Ryan has accepted Caleb!”

“That’s not exactly true,” Michael pointed out. Sure Ryan was being somewhat nicer, but he was the one of the group that was most against Caleb joining them at the lunch table, followed by Geoff and Michael.

“Well he’s doing a better job than you,”

“Gavin, I have been drinking for a while, please go easy,”

“You don’t deserve it,”

“I know, but please,” he sighed. “I care a lot about you, and I cannot let go of what Caleb did. I know you can, but you are my boi, and I am supposed to protect you,”

“I’m going to be eighteen soon, you don’t need to be my bodyguard,”

“I know, but I want to be. What the fuck happened to us? I used to save you from bullies and bullshit all the time and you’d thank me and we’d say ‘always’ and hug it out and now you can’t stand it!” Michael didn’t know why this was hitting him so hard, why his eyes were misting over and his throat was closing up.

“Michael,” Gavin sighed, reaching out to take the redhead’s hand. “I’m so… thankful, for all the times you’ve protected me and stood up for me but we’re seniors and we’re going into the real world soon. I need to learn to mess up and save myself,”

“Why?” Michael challenged. “Why do you need to do it alone?”

“I need to at least learn and have experience for if there is ever a time when you aren’t there,”

“I will be there,”

“You can’t promise that,” Gavin was getting choked up now too.

“I can, and I do,”

“Michael,” he stared at the sky, blinking the tears away furiously. “It’s late and we’re both… not sober, let’s just… let’s not do this,”

“Then what should we do?”

“I’m not letting you go home, so come inside,”

Michael nodded and stood up, following Gavin inside his house and upstairs, careful not to wake his parents. They stumbled into the Brit’s room and tumbled onto the bed, not bothering to put on pjs. Michael felt much better once his head was on the pillow, but when he reached for Gavin and he tensed under him he was reminded of how… _not right_ things were with them lately. He huffed out a breath through his nose and turned around so their backs were pressed lightly together.

Maybe they could talk in the morning.

~~~

Ray and Ryan left shortly after the rest of their friends since they were the only sober ones around it seemed and they weren’t having any fun. They didn’t agree out loud about their destination but when Ryan started driving and took a right at the end of the street and a left at the next Ray knew exactly where they were going.

They got to the theater a little after eleven, an hour after it had closed down for the night, and parked in the back. Ryan texted Joel first since he was the regular closer to make sure no one was still there before he and Ray climbed out of the car and pulled the hoods of their sweatshirts on to rush across the parking lot, just in case. He pulled his keys from his chain and unlocked the back door, pulling it open and ushering Ray inside. They took the steps in twos into the projection room, crashing inside in their sudden giddiness at being alone. When the door was shut behind them Ryan spun around and grabbed Ray by the hips and smiled down at him.

“Hi,” he whispered.

“Hey,” Ray said giving him a single nod.

“I love you,” the blond whispered, leaning down so his forehead was resting on Ray’s.

“I love you most,”

“Doubt it,”

“It’s true,”

“Yeah?” Ryan teased leaning closer, eyes jumping from Ray’s eyes to his lips.

“Mhm,” Ray hummed closing the space between them to kiss Ryan firmly. They both grinned into it, breaking for a second to contain themselves before they both rushed back in. It wasn’t long before Ryan was walking them into the center of the room, grip tight on Ray so he wouldn’t stumble and fall backwards, falling to his knees, taking Ray right with him.

They kissed, kneeling on the floor, for nearly a half hour, hands trailing down arms and over faces before settling on waists and shoulders before Ryan’s back started to ache and he was leaning backwards, yanking Ray down on top of him. One of his hands planted itself of Ray’s hip, thumb digging into the dimple there, and the other cupped his cheek, fingers fanning out to touch as much as he could while their lips worked furiously against each others. Ray worked hard, keeping his bottom a few inches above Ryan’s, legs tense from holding himself steady, but after a few long minutes Ryan was moving his other hand to Ray’s bottom half, pushing him down so he could sit more comfortably, hands resting on his thighs.

Ryan stopped when he felt Ray tense above him, pulling back to look into his eyes. “Is this okay?”

“Yeah,”

“Promise?” Ryan asked voice stern.

See, if this was sophomore or junior year Ray, hell even two weeks ago Ray, he would’ve said it was nowhere near okay, that it was too much, too soon. Right now though, it was… exciting. He enjoyed being alone with Ryan, so intimately. He liked that Ryan was in control of the situation, letting Ray just… zone out.

“I promise,” he nodded, staring right at his boyfriend’s blue eyes without hesitation. Ryan nodded and moved back in kissing him slower, softer before he started to lean up, so Ray was directly in his lap before he twisted and moved so Ray was flat on his back with Ryan above him, one leg wedged between both of his.

He kept his hands on either side of Ray’s head, elbows bent to bring him down to an appropriate level, before he moved them down to Ray’s shoulder, letting his body sink until their clothed chests were pressed together. That didn’t last long though when Ray threaded his fingers through Ryan’s blond hair, messaging his scalp and Ryan moved down to kiss where Ray’s neck met his shoulder, not sucking or biting, still, it sent chills throughout Ray’s entire body. His fingers drifted under Ray’s shirt, rubbing along his warm skin until he pulled back, watching Ray when his hand curled in the hem and tugged at the thin fabric covering him. Ray nodded and sat up, letting Ryan remove it from him before ducking back in for a kiss. Ray felt vulnerable suddenly, reaching instantly for Ryan’s shirt and tugging, he didn’t wanna be the only one getting undressed after all. Ryan shook his head though, taking Ray’s hands and kissing his palms.

“Not yet,” he whispered. He ran his fingers along Ray’s torso, kissing over his heart before moving back to Ray’s mouth until finally Ray pushed him back and tugged firmly at his shirt again and he was pulling it off. Ray nodded approvingly when the barrier was gone and pulled at Ryan’s shoulders until their chests were pressing together again and their mouths were working hard against each others.

Ray was fine. For another ten minutes before he realized just how… hot the situation really was. He and Ryan had never really done anything too sexual before, but right now Ray came to the sudden realization that he didn’t want this to stop. He wanted to _keep going._ He liked everything that was going on in fact. He wanted Ryan to ask him if he wanted to go all the way even, or just a little farther. And he wanted to say yes.

And that’s why he stopped.

He didn’t know the first thing about actual real life sex, and doing it without properly preparing in a dark theater projection room didn’t really seem… right.

He pushed at Ryan’s shoulders until he could catch his breath and wiggle away. Ryan, sensing his panic, moved off of him quickly, sitting next to him while he figured things out.

“It’s late,” was all he offered, standing up and pacing the room a few times. Ryan smirked at him and waited for him to look at him before speaking.

“Do you wanna go home?”

“Yes please,”

“Mine or yours? Or would you like to be alone?”

“Yours,” Ray said confidently. “Sorry,” he mumbled after.

“Ray, never apologize,” Ryan said firmly.

“Okay,” he nodded.

They grabbed their shirts and pulled them back on, making sure they had all their belongings before leaving.

Ray was silent the entire ride home until they were in Ryan’s bed and he was curling into his chest, letting out a content sigh. “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Ryan smiled, running his hand over the top of Ray’s head a few times.

Ray moved into the touch, thankful that his boyfriend was so understanding and patient. After the blond was asleep Ray reached out for his phone on the nightstand and texted Gavin.

_I need bro talk ASAP- lunch tomorrow?_

Gavin answered half an hour later with a thumbs up emoji and a sure before wishing Ray a goodnight.

~~~

Michael woke up to Gavin rummaging through his dresser for clothes and muttering to himself about being late. He sat up and rubbed at his blurry eyes until Gavin registered that he was awake and waved at him. His head was killing him and he was trying to remember how he got to Gavin’s in the first place when he remembered everything that happened the night before and cringed, mentally slapping himself.

“What are you doing?”

“I’m supposed to meet Ray in five minutes,”

“Where?” Michael asked, head tilted.

“Mall,”

“Were you gonna wake me?”

“No? I was gonna let you sleep, leave a note and all that,” he shrugged.

Normally Gavin would’ve woken Michael up before he even rolled out of bed, whining about wanting to take a shower or eat, begging Michael to go make him eggs and toast while he cleaned up. This was just another reminder of how stupid life was.

He slid off the bed and grabbed his shoes, shoving his feet in them and grabbed his keys. “Come on, I’ll drive you,”

“You don’t need to,” Gavin said quickly.

“How else are you gonna get there? Your parents are never really home on Saturdays,” he was getting frustrated now. Gavin needed to just accept that Michael was his best friend and he wasn’t gonna stop being that for a girlfriend or boyfriend.

“I can just catch the bus,”

“Gavin, it’s not a big deal, come on,” Gavin nodded and followed him with his head bowed out the door.

The ride was silent and when Michael pulled up to the food court entrance Gavin pushed his door open and got out, calling a quick ‘bye’ before slamming the door and rushing into the building. He found Ray with two plates of pizza in front of him and a frown on his face.

“You’re late,” he stated.

“I know, I’m sorry, my phone died,”

“Was that Michael?”

“Yeah,”

“What happened last night?”

“Guess, I could ask you the same,” Ray’s face went red and Gavin’s interested was peeked. He leaned forward and grinned. “What happened?”

“Ryan and I-“

“Did you have sex?” Gavin asked, voice rising. Ray slapped his arm, hard, and shook his head furiously.

“No, no. Almost, I think,”

“You think?”

“We were just… I don’t know, I stopped,”

“Okay?”

“I think I want to,”

“So do it,” Gavin shrugged.

“How can you be so casual about it? This is a big thing,”

“Ray,” Gavin laughed, “people in relationships have sex, and you and Ryan have been in one for a while,”

“But, what if I mess up?”

“You don’t really have a preference on who does what do you?”

“No,”

“Then shut up, let Ryan do all the work,”

“That’s not fair,”

“That’s sex Ray,”

“How would you know?” he watched Gavin closely, leaning forward and putting both hands on the table. “Have you and Caleb?”

“No, God no, I won’t give it to him,”

“Really? Why not?”

“I’m not in love with him,” he shrugged.

“Does he know that?”

“We aren’t really at the love stage anyway,”

“But you will be soon,” Ray said slowly. “What happens then?”

“I’ll figure it out then,”

“Is this about Michael?”

“When isn’t it?”

“I thought you weren’t gonna let him ruin this for you?”

“I’m trying, and I am with Caleb, but I know he’s not gonna be my soul mate. And for right now, I still love Michael, don’t think I’ll ever really stop,”

“But, Lindsay,”

“Is great for him and I’m happy for them,” he grinned. “My feelings don’t need to interfere,”

“Wait, what happened yesterday then?”

“Oh, I got plastered and Caleb brought me home and Michael thought we were gonna sleep together,”

“I can see why you’re still hung up on him then,” Ray commented, “he’s jealous. Hates Caleb, doesn’t want you sleeping with him,” he explained further when Gavin looked at him quizzically.

“Yeah,” he sighed. “He makes getting over him really hard,”

“Even I’m confused. I- I don’t know, I think he’s gay,”

“Me too,” Gavin rolled his eyes.

“Why would he hide it though? His best friends all are,”

“It’s a big thing Ray. Maybe he hasn’t really thought about it yet, who knows?”

“I hope this shit sorts itself,”

“It probably won’t,”

“I’m sorry man,”

“Whatever, we aren’t here to talk about my failing love lives, let’s talk about banging,”

“God, why do you need to put it so crudely,”

“Sorry,” he smirked. “I honestly would’ve thought you were already doing it and lying,”

“Nope,”

“Just, don’t get all worked up about it, that’s what makes it bad. And I know this might seem crazy, but communicating with your boyfriend is always an option,”

“What? Just tell Ryan I wanna sleep with him?”

“Yes actually, just tell him you think you’re ready. That way if he isn’t then he can know when he is that you are and all that,”

“He’s ready alright,” Ray huffed.

“Oh?”

“It’s kinda… obvious when we’re together,”

“Oh God, I don’t wanna know,”

“I can’t wait until the roles are reversed and you’re asking me about this stuff,” Ray grinned wickedly.

“Never ever, I’ll use the internet like a normal teenager,”

“Then I wanna see your search history,”

“I’ll delete it,”

“Doubt it,”

“Shut up, go buy condoms and have sex with Ryan,”

“Fuck you,” Ray swatted at him, leaning a red mark on Gavin’s arm from the force of the hit.

“You owe me ice cream,” Gavin declared, pushing his chair back and reaching for Ray’s hand.

“This is gonna be a long fucking year,” Ray sighed.

“What, with Ryan?”

“And you and Michael,”

“And who knows what’s happening with Geoff and Griffon,” Gavin added.

“Let’s just use Jack and Caiti for all healthy relationship goals,”

“Sounds good to me,”


	28. Chapter 28

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Geoff had had enough. He waited by Griffon’s locker Monday morning, like he did every day, to greet her but was yet again ignored. She walked right by him, not even bothering to drop her things off before going to science class. He took a deep breath and walked in the other direction to English.

This was getting ridiculous. He had done literally nothing wrong, and Griffon was acting like he had slaughtered her family and stalked her into hiding. He told her every day she was beautiful and he loved her and did everything he could to make every date special and yet… he didn’t even know.

When he woke up Saturday morning with his head pounding and a band aid with dried blood around it on his forehead he couldn’t remember anything. It wasn’t until Jack walked in twenty minutes later with a bowl of cereal in each hand that he remembered. Jack had brought him home and tucked him in before announcing that he had to head home himself cause he was supposed to help his mom in the morning. As soon as the front door was shut behind him Geoff was throwing the blankets back and stomping down the stairs, thankful his parents weren’t home. He went straight for the liquor cabinet and drank half of his mom’s new bottle of vodka before filling it with water and putting it back. He had stumbled up to his room and cried for a bit before he ended up passing out. Jack clicked his tongue disapprovingly at Geoff when he saw him in his messy state, offering him one of the bowls and sitting at the end of his bed.

“Good morning,” he said casually.

“Fuck off,” Geoff mumbled. Jack rolled his eyes and spooned more food into his mouth. “I’m sorry. I just know you’re gonna give some bullshit lecture,”

“Not a lecture,” he offered. “I just don’t think you should drink your problems away,”

“I’m aware and I apologize, but in my defense, it was a shit night,”

“I know,” he sighed. “You need to talk to her Geoff, alone, just you two and you can’t back down. You won’t leave the room or house or whatever until there is a solution,”

“I’m gonna talk to her Monday,”

“Okay,” he nodded. Geoff ate more cereal before he tilted his head at Jack and looked over at the clock.

“I thought you were helping your mom,”

“She didn’t need me after all,” he shrugged. “Thought I’d come check on you,”

“Thanks,”

They had spent the rest of the morning and most of the afternoon playing video games and binge watching cartoons on Netflix before Caiti was calling and Jack was taking off for their spontaneous date.

Now, Geoff was on a mission. He texted Griffon to meet him in front of his locker at lunch and practically sprinted to meet her. To be honest, he wasn’t really expecting her to show, but he was hopeful and finally she turned the corner and walked slowly toward him, fighting against the crowds rushing to the café.

“What’s up?” she asked casually. She didn’t seem like she was mad from Friday night, Geoff took that as a good sign.

“Wanna go off campus for lunch?” he was gonna be just as calm. When she hesitated he stepped forward, grabbing her hand. “I really think we need to talk Griffon, please,” something in his tone must have gotten to her because she eventually nodded and followed him out to the parking lot with her head down.

The ride was quiet. He pulled up to her favorite sub shop in town and got out. Again she followed silently behind. He knew her order by heart though so when she opened her mouth he cut her off and slapped his money on the counter and went to sit at a booth while they waited.

“How’s your day going?” he asked to fill the silence.

“Fine,” she offered, uncapping her water bottle and taking a sip. He tapped his fingers against the table, watching her carefully. He had no idea how he was gonna go about this.

When the man behind the counter called out their order Geoff went to retrieve the bag and walked out the door, bell jingling behind him, again when Griffon walked out seconds later. He started the car and went in the opposite direction of school since they had time, stopping at the park. This was one of their special spots after all. Maybe Griffon would realize she was being stupid here.

They got out and walked to the first empty bench, setting up their little picnic, unwrapping their subs. Geoff spent the first four bites trying to find the right words, but in the end it was Griffon that started it.

“Do you ever worry that we’ll get bored of each other?” she sounded nervous.

“Wha- what?” he asked slowly.

“I think we need to break up,” she said after, voice soft.

“I- we- no,” he couldn’t form coherent sentences right now, not when he couldn’t even form coherent thoughts.

“Geoff, we’ve been together for so long and graduation is right around the corner, and I just… I don’t think you and I are meant to be,”

“You can’t be serious,” he breathed. “I love you Griffon, I-“

“Geoff, you’ve never even been with anyone else. What if you meet someone later that you’d rather be with?” He was expecting that maybe she was mad about something he couldn’t even remember, or she was stressing from work or school or home, but he was not expecting her to be breaking up with him for no real reason.

“I could never! Griffon everyday with you is something new, how could I ever get bored of you? I know you better than anyone, why would you wanna throw that away?” he asked.

“Geoff, it took you a month to figure out what my last name was,” she countered.

“That’s cause I knew from the minute I met you I wanted it to be Ramsey,”

“Geoff,” she gasped eyes wide.

“I want to marry you,” he barreled on, “I’ve always wanted a son, but you want a little girl and I will gladly have a thousand with you before even thinking of having a little boy. And I know you hate the color yellow, which is good because it’s a horrible color, I won’t let there be one piece of yellow in our entire house, you love dogs, let’s get one, let’s get twelve if it’ll make you happy. Griffon, I want to be with you, I wanna make you happy for the rest of your life, why are you doing this?” he asked, tears spilling over. He could’ve gone on for hours, could’ve written Griffon a novel about her likes and dislikes, wants and needs. He stopped though, because even though he was fighting he knew he was going to lose.

“I just think we need to get out there and experience new things. We’ve done everything together so far and I think maybe we need some time to figure out what we really want,” she told him.

“Is there someone else?” he asked, voice clipped.

“No, no, there’s no one else,” she shook her head furiously.

“Then why? This makes no sense. We’ve been together for three years now, if I were gonna tire of you I think I would’ve already,”

“Geoff, please, if you love me you’ll do this,”

“But why!” he yelled.

“I need you to be sure you want me,” she begged.

“And me standing here in front of you telling you I want you and only you for the rest of my life isn’t enough?” he snapped.

“I just need us both to be absolutely positive,” she whispered, “you’re saying all this without knowing your other options. I’m doing this for you,” the tears spilled down both their faces, each of them refusing to look away from the other, both of their eyes pleading the other to give in, but it was Geoff that finally cracked.

“Fine,” he sighed, “I love you Griff, and if this is what it takes to prove it then I’ll do it for you,” he muttered.

“Thank you,” she reached out for him then, trying to hug him, but he shrugged her off.

“Don’t,” he warned, “don’t break my heart and then try to comfort me, just… call me when you’ve ‘learned’ everything you need to learn,” he told her before storming towards the parking lot.

She felt like she couldn’t breathe, sliding off the bench to the ground and curling around herself while she watched the love of her life walk out of it. She knew as soon as he turned away from her that it was a mistake, but she also knew she had to stand her ground, because the one thing that was most important to her was his happiness, and she didn’t want him to go through life with only her and wake up one day with nothing but regret.

~~~

Jack got the first text at the end of lunch. A short message from Geoff explaining that Griffon had broken things off and he was going home for the rest of the day. Jack was in the middle of laughing at some story Michael and Lindsay were telling when he received it, stopping with a near gasp causing everyone else to look over at him.

“What?” Caiti asked looking over his shoulder. Her eyes widened, mouth dropping open. “Holy… whoa,” she whispered.

“They- Griffon and Geoff broke up,” he announced sending the table into stunned silence. “I’m gonna head over to Geoff’s,” he said standing up and grabbing his bag.

“Can you- can you take me home?” Caiti asked catching his hand. He nodded and grabbed their trays, heading for the trashcans. They looked around the school for any teachers before rushing out the front doors to Jack’s car. He sent a text to his mom when he got settled so she would at least get a heads up before the school called.

“Do you think they’re okay?”

“Griffon might be,” Jack shrugged. “Geoff won’t be,”

“I don’t think she will be either,”

“She broke up with him though,”

“Doesn’t mean she’d be happy about it,” Caiti pointed out. Jack just nodded and kept his mouth shut. Ten minutes later he was pulling up in front of Griffon’s- and Caiti’s- house and kissing her goodbye.

“Let me know how it goes?” he asked before she shut the door.

“You too,” she told him. Jack could see her take a deep breath before she slammed the door and walked the short distance to the front door. He waited until she was safely inside before he drove away, zooming down the street so he could get to Geoff faster. He had no idea what had happened but to say he was shocked would be an understatement for sure. He knew she was acting weird but he didn’t think they’d fucking break up. This was turning out to be a weird fucking year.

He sighed in relief when he pulled up to Geoff’s house and found that his car was actually in the driveway. He parked sloppily along the curb and got out; jogging to the front door and pushing it open, knowing that the boy’s parents would be gone until that evening. He took the steps two at a time until he was standing outside of Geoff’s room and pushing his way in.

The lights were off and there was sniffling coming from the bed. Jack flipped the switch next to him and cringed at the sight of his best friend. He was sitting up, back against the wall with the covers wrapped around his entire being. He looked like a blobby nun with bloodshot eyes and a runny nose. He looked awful.

Geoff winced when the light assaulted his eyes, pulling the covers further down on his face and Jack mumbled out an apology before turning the light back off. He took his sweatshirt and shoes off, leaving them by the computer chair in the corner before shuffling over to the bed and crawling on next to Geoff.

“Hey buddy,” he said softly, Geoff glared at him. “I- look, I’m sorry,”

“Whatever,”

“Hey, don’t take this out on me or anyone else. Let me start with that cause it won’t be tolerated,” he said sternly. “You can be sad, pissed, but you can’t be a dick about it,”

“Sorry,” he sniffed.

“It’s okay, now let me in,” he tugged weakly at the blankets so Geoff knew that he didn’t really need to. He did though, lifting it enough for Jack to slither into and cuddle up to him.

“I don’t really wanna talk about it right now,” Geoff whispered when they were settled.

“So we won’t,” he shrugged. Geoff nodded and shut his head, leaning his head on Jack’s shoulder. “How about we take a nap and when you wake up we’ll order take out and watch a movie?” he suggested earning an eager nod from Geoff. “Okay.”

Geoff fell asleep in minutes, but Jack could see it was restless. He was shifting and groaning every few minutes, stopping with a content sigh until he was kicking at the covers again and moving around. Jack watched him sadly, pulling his phone from his pocket and texting Caiti.

_How’s it going?_

_She just came home. She’s a wreck._

_Him too._

Caiti didn’t answer, but Jack assumed she was speaking to Griffon so he didn’t bother texting again. He did however text Gavin, telling him to come over after school and spend the night with them. He sent back an okay and then explained that he was entering fourth block so he had to stop talking. Jack sent an okay and set his phone under the pillow before closing his eyes and trying to get some rest too.

~~~

Gavin arrived a little after three o’clock with an overnight bag slung over his shoulder and a plastic grocery bag in his hand. Jack let him in thinking it was the pizza guy, smiling when he saw the Brit standing there.

“Whatcha got?”

“Ice cream, chips, soda and the Notebook,”

“Okay?”

“Doesn’t everyone watch sad romance movies when they’re heartbroken?” he tilted his head. “This is what Meg does after shitty dates or something,” he shrugged.

“No, this is great, it’ll make him smile,”

“How bad is it?”

“It’s not pretty,” Jack warned him.

“I’m gonna head up then,” Gavin announced, handing Jack the groceries and running up the steps. He almost tripped on the last one earning a laugh from Jack to which he flipped him off. Soon he was standing in front of Geoff’s door, hand wrapped around the door knob. He cracked it open and stuck his head in; eyes’ meeting Geoff’s who was lying on his bed with his phone held close to his face while he scrolled through Facebook. He smiled when he noticed who it was, setting his phone down and patting the spot next to him gently.

“I didn’t know you were coming over,”

“Spending the night too, so sucks for you,”

“Awesome for me,” Geoff corrected.

A few minutes later the doorbell was ringing again and voices were heard before a quick ‘Thank you’ and the door shut. Jack came up a minute later carrying two pizzas and Gavin’s grocery bag draped over his arm. They set the food on the floor and maneuvered the blankets so they were draped over all three of them, Geoff sandwiched in the middle.

They didn’t let Geoff see what movie was playing until the title screen popped up and he was groaning, looking directly at Gavin who held his hands up defensively. “Really?”

“It’s a great movie,” he argued.

“It’s gonna make me sad,”

“Geoff, this is the perfect excuse! Be sad, cry, I’m going to,”

“Fine,” he sighed, leaning back. He decided to poke fun at Gavin when he leaned on his shoulder, hand holding Geoff’s on his lap. “Oh, so you can cuddle with me now that I’m single?” he was hoping that joking would maybe make it feel a little lighter, but it didn’t, not at all.

“Shut up, you know that’s not what it is,” he grumbled letting go of Geoff’s hand only for the older to grab it back and pull him closer.

“I’m kidding, I won’t tell Michael,”

“Geoff,” Gavin sighed. “Don’t joke around,”

“I’m not, but don’t start the movie yet,” he said. “I’m ready to talk about it,”

“Are you sure? You don’t need to,”

“I know, but I mean,” he shrugged, “it’d probably clear things up for you,” Jack and Gavin both nodded so Geoff sighed and told them everything. He told them about the entire conversation, how confused he was and how upset he was.

They listened intently, nodding along and interjecting here and there for clarification and when he was finished they both pulled him into a long group hug.

“Do you think she’ll date someone else?” he asked.

“Caiti says she’s a mess, I doubt it,”

“Is it bad that that makes me feel better?”

“Not at all,”

“Do you ever feel like that Jack?” Gavin asked.

“Honestly, no. But Caiti and I have only been together for a little over a year, so who really knows?” he looked worried by his answered, Gavin felt kinda bad.

“Look, Geoff, I know Griffon, and I know you and her together. She won’t leave you for good, she’s probably just stressed and concerned about you,” Gavin said dropping a hand on his shoulder.

“She said she doesn’t want me to get bored of her, but how do I get her to understand that she’s the most exciting thing that’s ever happened?”

Jack didn’t show it, but he was actually really happy with how drastically Geoff’s attitude had changed since he had arrived at his house. When he woke up from their nap and demanded pizza he didn’t seem as heartbroken as just… accepting. Jack of course knew Geoff well enough though, and he knew that he wouldn’t give in that easily, but he also knew that Geoff loved Griffon and if this was what she wanted he’d give her time. He wouldn’t like it, but he’d do it for her.

“Just give her time to clear her head, this has been bugging her for a while it seems,”

“Yeah, you’re right. But what happens if she _does_ end up with someone else?”

“You be strong,” Gavin smiled sadly. “You let her do it because that could probably speed the process of her figuring out she loves you up,”

“I hope so,” he sighed. They were silent for a few minutes before Geoff reached for the remote and started the movie without another word.

They didn’t speak through it like they usually would, didn’t make jokes and change the lines and do stupid voices for the characters. They sat quietly and when Allie and Noah kissed in the rain they heard sniffles and turned to find Geoff hunched over himself eyes squeezed shut, tears spilling over. Gavin paused the movie quietly and leaned on Geoff, putting his finger up to his lips to signal Jack to keep quiet. He nodded and put his head on his other shoulder letting him know he was there. Geoff pushed himself over; taking Gavin with him and laid down arms wrapping around the Brit. Gavin looked at Jack with wide eyes receiving a shrug and a mouthed _I don’t know._

Soon Geoff fell asleep, keeping Gavin trapped under him who finally just burrowed down and closed his eyes. “I’m gonna go,” Jack whispered grabbing his things.

“Dick,” Gavin said back but he didn’t actually seem mad so Jack flipped him off, laughed and walked out the door.

~~~

Geoff woke up at sunrise, blinking rapidly to get rid of the bleariness. He looked down and found that Gavin was still sleeping, snoring lightly against his chest. He felt kind of bad for how abruptly he had passed out on him, trapping him in his bed, but at least Gavin was already planning on spending the night.

Now that he had had time to rest up and really think about everything that happened he was pissed. He knew it might’ve been bitter but honestly, she had months to talk to him about this and yet… he felt led on. He slid out of bed and walked down stairs, stopping when he saw his mom standing by the coffee maker. He had texted her yesterday that he was coming home and gave her the brief version so when her eyes met his they softened and she moved around the counter to pull him into a hug.

“I’m sorry sweet pea,” she whispered, rubbing his back.

“Don’t hate her,” he mumbled. “Please,”

“Geoff, I would never,”

“Even if she broke your baby’s heart?” he pouted.

“I can’t hate her. Your father did the same to me in college,” she said after a minute.  

“Are you serious?”

“He broke up with me in our junior year of college cause he overheard some stupid frat guys talking about me and thought I’d like them better,” she shrugged.

“What did you do?”

“I sucked it up. I spent more time with my friends and studied more. A few days in I realized that maybe he was right,” she stopped at Geoff’s horrified look and shook her head. “And _then,”_ she continued, “a week later I realized your dad was an idiot and I stormed up to his dorm and told him we were getting back together,”

“Can I try that?”

“Not yet, you’ve gotta give her time to realize her mistake,”

“How long were you two apart?”

“About a month,”

“I don’t know if I can make it a month,” he admitted.

“You’ll need to,” she smiled sadly. “If you love Griffon you’ll wait for her,”

“I will,” he sighed. “I’ll always wait for her,”

“Then hold onto that,” she said squeezing his hand. “I’ll call you out, make sure Gavin either goes or gets his mom to call him out. I’ve gotta get to work,”

“Okay, thank you. I love you,”

“I love you too,”

He climbed back up the stairs with a bottle of water in each hand and opened his bedroom door to find Gavin stretching on his bed. “Hey buddy,” he greeted, dropping a water in his lap.

“Hey,”

“If you’re staying home you need to text your mom to call you out,”

“Just did,”

“Thanks,”

“Don’t thank me. I’m not doing anything extraordinary,”

“You’re here though, and that means a lot,”

“I’ll always be here Geoff,”

“Let’s stop talking about sad things now, I’m gonna take a shower,”

“Okay,”

“Feel free to play a game,”

“Obviously,”

Twenty minutes later Geoff came back and sat on his bed, grabbing another controller and adding to Gavin’s game of Halo. They didn’t talk much, only the occasional curse or strategy plan to kill the flood before they called it quits and threw their controllers down on the floor and turned on Cartoon Network.

“So how’s your love life going?” Geoff mumbled, taking a sip from his water.

“Do you really wanna talk about this?”

“Yeah, I’m sad of my own love life. Tell me about yours,”

“It’s average,” he shrugged.

“How’s Michael been?”

“He’s not really talking to me but that’s probably a good thing,”

“Yeah, I’m sorry Gav. I should’ve said something to him a while ago,”

“It’s not your job to tell everyone else to calm down,”

“It is if you’re getting hurt,”

“I’m not getting hurt,”

“You’re getting confused,”

“I’m not though. I told Michael to cut it out cause he’s with Lindsay,”

“He doesn’t understand though and he’s most likely gonna be a big bitch,”

“When isn’t he though?” Gavin joked. “It’s okay, he’s not touching me or saying anything rude so it can’t be too bad,”

“I think he’s confused,”

“We’ve all been saying that for years though,”

“Life is confusing Gav,” Geoff shrugged. “People suck and they break your heart and they lead you on, they confuse you and they clarify. That’s just how it goes and I think Michael isn’t really big on clarification,”

“You’ve got that right,”

“He offered to come over last night but I told him he didn’t need to, figured you’d be uncomfortable,”

“Yeah, thanks,” Gavin chuckled. “He’s just… weird,”

“You’re like his security blanket,”

“Well, not much longer hopefully,”

“Are you like trying to cut ties all together?”

“No, God no, I’m just trying to establish that we are two different people with different lives and relationships and its gotta be Gavin and Caleb and Michael and Lindsay, not Gavin, Caleb, Lindsay and Michael,”

“Fair enough,” Geoff nodded. “Go shower and put some clothes on, I wanna go for a ride,”

“Where to?”

“We’ll figure it out as we go,”

“Sounds good,”

~~~

While Gavin had informed his mom he wouldn’t be attending school, he forgot to inform his boyfriend and friends. Caiti was the first to notice it since he never showed up to first block with her and Griffon, then he didn’t show up to second block after so Ray and Ryan started to wonder too. Jack informed them at lunch finally that Gavin was staying home with Geoff when Caiti asked about the Brit. Michael slammed his hand down on the table and rolled his eyes but didn’t say anything, Ryan and Ray just accepted it and the others at the table didn’t really care. Caiti left halfway through to go find Griffon in the library so she missed the end of lunch.

Jack didn’t.

Caleb approached their table in the last ten minutes, stopping behind Ray and across Michael. They all turned to him expectantly, smirking when he visibly swallowed, nervous to speak to all of them without Gavin to back him up. “Does anyone know where Gavin is today?” his eyes were mainly on Michael who glared at him and leaned forward.

“I’m not your boyfriend’s fucking keeper, text him or something,” he said harshly earning wide eyed looks from Lindsay and Ray.

“I have been texting him,” Caleb said calmly, “and calling, his phone isn’t on,”

“He’s with Geoff,” Jack said before Michael could open his mouth again. “He’ll be here tomorrow, sorry,” Caleb nodded and walked away. Jack sighed when the bell rang, grabbing Michael’s arm when he made to get up. “You should come over after school, I miss you,”

“Okay? I’ll come over,”

“Sweet, see you then,”

The rest of the day was uneventful, boring classes and teachers giving them pointless assignments before the bells were ringing and they were filing out of the room. Finally the day was over and Jack was rushing to get to his locker and then to his car and beat Michael to his house.

They got there at about the same time going in and heading towards the basement. Michael was skeptical the whole time, waiting for Jack to start the conversation. It was normal enough, they talked about Caiti and Lindsay for a little while before Michael cut in.

“How’s Geoff?”

“He’s gonna be okay, right now it sucks,”

“Yeah, I passed Griffon in the hall today; she seemed pretty bummed out,”

“That’s to be expected,”

“I guess,”

“So…”

“Are you gonna scold me for snapping at Caleb?” he raised a brow.

“Not scold exactly,”

“Don’t get mad at me, he doesn’t belong near us,”

“Michael,” Jack said disapprovingly. “You’ve been really aggressive lately,”

“I have not,”

“To Caleb and Gavin you have been,”

“There are more important things to be worrying about and you focus on me being a little mean to Caleb,”

“Dude, you have got to let this bullshit grudge go, literally everyone else has,”

“He cheated on my best friend,”

“I don’t think this is what it’s about anymore,”

“What do you think it’s about?” Michael asked coldly.

“I think you’re jealous,”

“Of what?” his eyes narrowed and Jack knew he had to trudge carefully.

“Gavin found someone else to give his time and affection to.” There, he wasn’t accusing and Michael might be more open to talking. He wasn’t though. He just sort of… shut down. He sat forward a little, shoulders hunched and head bowed. Jack watched him think, could practically see the gears turning in his head. His hands were shaking and suddenly, Jack understood. They had joked about it for years, had made fun of him and accused him of falling for Gavin multiple times and while Jack actually did believe most of it he had been doubtful over the last few months. Now, he got it. Michael was in love with Gavin. Stupidly, pathetically in love. He just didn’t actually fucking understand it yet, and Jack kind of understood that too. Sometimes it was hard to figure out if your friendship with someone was more than that, which is why it was hard for Ray and Ryan at the start too and why it wasn’t really as hard for him and Caiti or Griffon and Geoff, they didn’t wait for a solid friendship foundation before they jumped in. Michael had waited about eleven years before he thought about it.

Now he was in this weird zone where he could think about it and if he really did take the time to consider it he would know that he could easily be with Gavin, but he also didn’t want to ruin the friendship and he probably also didn’t want to risk being wrong. Jack almost laughed because all Michael would need to do was say the words ‘I want you’ and Gavin would go running, but to him it was probably a lot harder.

Michael stood up abruptly and announced that he had a date with Lindsay to get ready for, grabbing his keys off the coffee table and rushing out. Jack didn’t bother trying to stop him. He was probably as confused as Michael right now.

~~~

They were fucking everywhere. Every time Michael turned a corner he would find one of them waiting for the other or looking at their phone texting the other. He was trying to give Gavin space and let him and Caleb do their thing, but he really just wanted to go over and punch them both because fucking really? He didn’t need to text Lindsay every five minutes or find her after every class, she didn’t feel the need either and yet Gavin and Caleb were codependent as hell.

While he was freaking out internally, he would’ve liked to believe he was doing a good job hiding it from everyone else, that thought was dashed however when he got to English class.

“Why are you so pissed today?” Meg asked when he stormed in, dropping into the seat next to her instead of behind her.

“I’m not!” he snapped, hand slamming down on the desk causing her to jump. She recovered quickly though, raising one eyebrow. “Okay, maybe I am,” he said sheepishly.

“A huh,” she rolled her eyes, “you wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” he admitted, she shrugged and started to turn towards the front. “Actually,” he blurted, “I do,” she turned back to him.

“I’m all ears,” she smiled.

“Gavin and Caleb are fucking everywhere! I can’t go anywhere without seeing Gavin without Caleb, texting or calling him, it’s like I don’t even have a best friend anymore. I have a best friend and his boyfriend,”

“Look,” Meg started, sad smile on her face. “I know what it’s like when the one you love loves someone else, it’s part of life and it sucks, but Gavin-“

“What? I’m not in love with him Meg,” he shook his head. She tilted her head at him.

“You don’t have to play the straight game with me, I won’t tell Lindsay and frankly it got boring a long time ago,”

“It’s not a game!” he snapped, earning strange stares from their classmates.

“When you’ve left the state of denial text me,” she rolled her eyes.

He opened his mouth to retort but the bell rang and in walked Gavin and Ray, arms wrapped around each other as they laughed over some stupid joke. The teacher wasn’t there yet so he slid out of his seat without a word and grabbed his bag, walking out of the door without turning back when Meg called his name.

He walked down the hall and down the staircase in the English wing, slipping out the side door of the school and walking around the entire building to get to his car. He chucked his bag in the back and rested his head against the cool metal of the door, breathing deeply for a minute.

He wasn’t fucking in love with Gavin. People needed to fucking see that, he didn’t know how much longer he could repeat it and have it go right over their heads. Gavin was his best fucking friend that was all he ever was. Michael wasn’t jealous, he was _lonely. Hurt._ And everyone else was ridiculous. He missed his best friend, so what? He could whine and bitch but that didn’t mean that there was any more going on and it was getting exhausting.

He looked down to see a text from Gavin, a simple _?_ that had him nearly breaking his phone in half. He deleted it and threw it into the passenger seat. He needed to get away for a little while.

He texted his parents that he left school to get some air knowing they would question him later but give him space for a while and took off. He went through town and ended up on the highway towards the beach.

He ended up sitting on the same rocks he had brought Gavin to when he got his license, enjoying the silence since it was the middle of the day and most people were at work or school or thought it was just too cold. To be fair it was late November and he did have to burrow into his sweatshirt to stay warm.

He remembered sitting with Gavin and talking about their upcoming goals while they ate ice cream.

_“What do you think is gonna happen after high school?”_

_“We go to college?”_

_“No, but are we all still friends? Do we go to the same school or do we all move across the country? Does Ray finally go to Puerto Rico and I back to England?”_

_“You better fucking not go to England,”_

_“That’s what I’m saying, how can we know?”_

_“It’s easy, you and I move in together, in the same apartment building as everyone else and we all live happily ever after,”_

It all seemed to easy back then, but as graduation and college grew closer Michael wasn’t really sure. He knew that he personally still wanted to live with Gavin and be best friends, but they were drifting every day and he didn’t really know where they’d be in a few more months. Everything just sucked a lot of dicks.

He stayed for about an hour before he went back to his car and climbed inside, grabbing his phone and sending a _nothing, I just needed some time,_ to Gavin and turning it back off until he was tucked in his bed.

~~~

With all the shit going on with their friends Ray and Ryan were just happy that they were going strong. They’d meet between classes and after school and just… be. They wouldn’t be all over each other or gossip or even talk in general, just knowing the other was there was enough for them. Still, Ray got a little curious. He didn’t get the full story until the week after the break up, when Gavin and him were working on English homework after school and Gavin gave him the details. He didn’t think that he’d ever break up with Ryan, but they had already been apart once and he didn’t really want to do it again.

While he and Ryan were busy watching Spongebob a few days later Ray sat up and turned to his boyfriend. Ryan sat up slowly, grabbing the remote to mute the TV and wait. Ray took his time gathering his thoughts before he started to approach the conversation.

“So, this whole Geoff and Griffon thing…”

“Yes?”

“I- look, I know we’ve already broken up and it was a whole fucking thing and what not-“

“What’s bugging you?” he cut in before Ray could really start rambling. He smiled gratefully and continued.

“I just- I don’t want you to go months or years unhappy with me, if you think you wanna experience new people or whatever just be straight up okay?”

“Dude,” Ryan breathed. “I broke up with you once and it was a huge fucking mistake. I’m not planning on doing it again,”

“You might not be _now,_ but maybe one day,” he shrugged. “Just, promise you’ll make yourself happy. I don’t want you worrying about me,”

“Ray, I will always worry about you for one, but I love you. I’m not going anywhere. Don’t even get those thoughts in your head,”

“Okay,”

“Ray,” Ryan warned.

“Okay okay, thoughts gone,” he swore.

“Geoff and Griffon have been together for a long time with no break, and while the situations weren’t the same we still had time apart to realize that we wanted this. At least, I did,” he looked at Ray waited for him to nod before continuing. “They didn’t get that, even Jack and Caiti had that when she went back to Australia, kinda, but still. I think you and I are safe,”

“I’m glad,”

“I don’t wanna scare you, but I’m in this, for the long run,”

“Like forever?”

“Like forever,” Ryan smiled.

“Doesn’t that scare you? We’re so young?”

“I’ve been sure about this for a long time babe,”

“Okay,”

“I can’t wait to cut our cake together,”

“But I don’t eat cake,” Ray said jokingly earning a glare from Ryan.

“You’ve eaten cake at every birthday party we’ve been to. A joke from a Minecraft game we built years ago isn’t funny anymore,”

“It will always be funny,” Ray argued offended.

“Ehhhh, will it though?”

“Yes,” he deadpanned. “We might need to rethink this marriage thing if you think otherwise,”

“It’ll _always_ be funny,” Ryan said quickly, reaching out to grab Ray’s arm. He pulled him down on top of him and gave him a kiss.

“Damn straight,”

“Hey Ray?”

“What?” he whispered, kissing Ryan’s neck.

“Patrick’s parents are coming to town,”

“Really? You’re giving up make out time for cartoons?”

“You’re not?”

“Fair enough,” he said rolling off so he had his back to Ryan’s chest.

“We can continue later,” Ryan bit at his ear.

“I don’t know. I think the next episode is the one where he rips his pants and that’s my favorite,”

“Well yeah, the musical number at the end was always a classic,”

“Exactly, and I relate to it personally,”

“Seriously?”

“You’ve never ripped your pants?”

“Well, yeah, but I’ve never sang about it,”

“You should try it, it makes it less awkward,”

“I’ll keep that in mind next time I fall or get caught on something,”

“As long as I’m there to laugh at you,”

“You will be,”

“Most likely,”


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long! Turns out writing Christmas in the middle of spring is really hard and annoying.   
> I tried to move things along in a way that wouldn't clash with other parts so I hope that worked out and I hope you enjoy their last Christmas of the story!

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

See, Geoff would’ve liked to believe he was doing fine after the break up. That he was working and acing all his homework and hanging out with his friends evenly. That he wasn’t bothered by her moving her seat in their history and math class. That he wasn’t bothered not being able to ask her for help or hold her hand under the table until she moved it for whatever stupid reason. It would be a lie though.

He fared well in the first week, having the company of his best friends to take care of him and working to get his mind off of it, but when their first Saturday date night went by without a word from her he started to feel the weight of the split. He spent the entire night crying on the phone with Gavin until finally the Brit hung up and showed up at Geoff’s door twenty minutes later with ice cream and a fuzzy blue blanket.

They spent the night curled in Geoff’s bed while cartoons ran around the TV screen looking for treasure or finding love or trying to stop bad guys for hours on end. Finally they both fell asleep around four in the morning, sleeping until nearly three in the afternoon and showing up late for work. Michael gave Geoff a pat on the back when he walked in, sharing an empathetic glance with Gavin when he walked out back to change.

“How bad is he?”

“Pretty bad,” the Brit offered. “It’s like it finally hit him,”

“Christ, are you gonna stay with him tonight?”

“Most likely,” he sighed.

“Do you want me to come too?” Michael asked. Gavin could see the gleam of hope, dimming with every second that Gavin didn’t answer until he nodded.

“Yeah, he could use all the support he can get,”

“Sweet,” he smiled when a party of two walked in and he shooed Gavin away to welcome them.

The second week went about as well. He spent more time with Ray and Ryan curled up between the two of them while they marathoned shitty TV shows. Sometimes Jack, Gavin and Michael would join for an impromptu boys night and they’d all fight over who got to cuddle Geoff when they went to bed. Gavin normally won.

Jack was the only one that still had contact with Griffon at the moment since he was always at her house for Caiti and the blonde wouldn’t answer anyone else’s calls. He didn’t tell Geoff when he saw her though, trying to stay out of it as much as possible but it didn’t take an inside source or a genius to know that she was pretty miserable. He also knew that her grades were slipping. At least, her English grade was slipping and Caiti said that Griffon hadn’t been doing much homework lately.

Gavin tried texting her and asking her for coffee a few times a week but she never responded. He couldn’t really blame her, she probably thought he was gonna go off on her or something. Michael and Ryan weren’t even making an attempt and Ray tried talking to her in the halls a few times but she kept walking.

Geoff wasn’t even trying to contact her. After dating for three years he knew better than to try pushing her into talking before she was ready. The only problem with this was he never knew if maybe that’s what she was waiting for; a push. Maybe she wanted him to fight for her? Prove his worth? But he tried that when she was telling him it was over. He was arguing, trying to get her to see reason. It didn’t work then, so what was the point now?

Leave it to him to pick the most stubborn girl around.

When they hit December and she still hadn’t reached out to him everyone was, well, shocked. This wasn’t what was supposed to happen. She was supposed to take a few days; maybe a week or two and thing discover that Geoff was the love of her life and run back to him, right? Apparently not.

It was the week before Christmas break when Geoff stopped Caiti in the hall one day after the final bell.

“Can you give this to her?” he held out a small black velvet box.

“Geoff,” Caiti said slowly, taking the box skeptically.

“It’s her Christmas present, I still want her to have them,” he shrugged.

“Okay,”

“Thanks,”

“I’ll let you know how it goes,”

“You don’t need to. I know it won’t be well,”

“Okay,”

He was at his locker the next morning when Caiti walked in with a slightly larger black box, handing it to him wordlessly and walking away. He pulled it open to see a little sticky note with Griffon’s perfect handwriting on it.

_To: Geoff_

_Love: Griffon_

It was a black corded necklace with a silver _Geoff._ He closed the box and stuffed it in his backpack, slamming his locker shut and walking right out the front doors. He passed Ryan on the way who took one look at him and turned to walk side by side, linking their arms together.

They spent the entire day watching Spongebob and Teen Titans before school was over and Ray was texting that he’d be there soon. He arrived with a tub of popcorn from the movie theater that Ryan gave him shit for buying before grabbing it and holding it in his lap. Ray pouted at him and motioned for him to move it so he could sit but Ryan refused to Ray went and plopped himself down on Geoff who grabbed him firmly to keep him from sliding off. Ryan abandoned the popcorn soon after but Ray didn’t budge.

They only had a few days left before they were freed to Christmas break and Geoff spent the first few days working and spending time with his family while the others ran around to finish shopping or spend time with their significant others before their big New Year’s party.

Gavin answered Jack’s door when Geoff arrived and pulled him into an awkward hug since Geoff was holding a large cardboard box with all of his presents in it. Geoff’s parents walked around them and patted Gavin on the back before going for the champagne with the other adults in the kitchen.

“I missed you. How was your Christmas?”

“It was good,” Geoff had opted to stay in with his family while Gavin had gone to Caleb’s and later Ray’s to hang out with him and Ryan. Jack had dinner at Griffon’s with Caiti and spent the night at home and Michael had Lindsay over well into the night to watch movies.

“Let’s go see the others,”

“Yeah, sorry I’m late, I couldn’t find wrapping paper,”

“That’s what you get for waiting till last minute, or not buying a bag,”

“Next time,” he promised.

They met the others in the basement, lounging around watching the Charlie Brown Christmas special while they waited for Geoff to finally arrive.

“Look who I found when I went for a water,” Gavin announced making them all turn and start cheering.

“It’s about time,” Michael said patting the seat next to him for Geoff. They all had their presents on the table so Geoff set the box down and started unloading, mixing things in with others so they’d still be surprised.

“Sorry,” he shrugged.

“Do we wanna just start or should we talk and hang out first?” Jack asked, leaning forward so they could all see him.

“We all know we’re only here for the presents,” Ray said honestly.

“Fair enough, Geoff?” he prompted.

He found the gift with his name written in silver sharpie. It was square and flopped over when not held with both hands or from the top which made Geoff curious. He had only peeled back a small corner from the top when he started laughing and looked directly at Gavin and Ray.

“Which one?” Ray held up his hands innocently and Gavin started laughing and nodding his head. “This is beautiful,”

“What the fuck is it?” Michael asked, trying to look at the small exposed space.

“It’s a sexy firemen calendar,”

“I know it would make me feel better,” he winked earning a smack in the head from Ray.

“I understand completely,” Geoff rolled his eyes. “I’ll look at it every night before bed,”

“I’m sure,” Jack wiggled his brows.

“Not like that. I’ll look at it to check the day off,” he said matter-of-factly.

“Been there,” Ryan laughed.

~~~

Ryan felt kind of bad. He had been picking up extra hours at work so he could afford presents for everyone so he had been kind of neglecting Ray and his friends. Whenever he could find a spare minute his mom would make him stay and talk college with her. It was becoming a lot to handle actually. He really didn’t know what he wanted to go to school for and it was starting to piss his parents off.

More often than not he found himself sitting at his kitchen table with notes and pamphlets in front of him for college majors that were offered around him and his mom standing behind him with her arms crossed. He would pick one or two a day and weigh the pros and cons, going over it with his mom again and again until he deemed it an acceptable consideration or not.

“You’ve got to make your decision soon,” his mom would urge, head in her hands.

“This is my future, I can’t rush,” 

“At this rate you’ll get no future,”

“Mom,” he snapped. “This isn’t easy, you knew what you wanted. I could do almost anything,”

“You’re allowed to change majors Rye, I just don’t want you to miss deadlines,”

“I have five months,”

“But the sooner you apply the better. It shows dedication,”

“Five months,” he repeated calmly. His mom threw her hands up and walked in out of the room more often than not. This was one of those nights. He pushed all the papers away from him, sighing when some of them fell off the table and hit the floor.

He wasn’t artsy or into writing. He didn’t like history much and science was fun, but he didn’t wanna make a life out of it. He had considered something in animation a few times before, but then his mother would tell him to be more practical and steer him towards accounting. This was getting stupidly hard.

He tried talking to Ray about it but it was hard because all Ray would do is tell him to do what he wants and he didn’t fucking know what that was. He appreciated his boyfriend trying, but it really didn’t help. Ray still didn’t know if he wanted to go to college at all, same with Gavin. Griffon had chose sculpting, Caiti was going for psychology, Michael wanted to do game design, Jack was going to take a bunch of electives until he could decide and surprisingly Geoff wanted to do something with culinary. He blamed his uncle.

So yeah, Ryan was in this weird, _I have nothing to do with my life_ , phase. There was even a few days where he considered just working at the movie theater for the rest of his life but he knew that everyone, including himself, would be disappointed so he threw it out.

He spent hours with his guidance counselor and talking to Joel and Barbara at work about it but no one could help with anything other than, “College is important and you really should go,” or, “College was a bust man, don’t go. You’ll hate your life,”

“If you go to college what would you do?” he asked Ray one night when they were lying in his bed. Ray looked up at him from where his head was resting over his heart.

“I don’t really know. I talked to Michael about it, game design could be fun,” Ryan nodded thoughtfully.

“Do you think you’ll at least try to get in?”

“I’ll probably apply to please my mom,” he shrugged. “If I got or not is still unknown,”

“Hmm,” Ryan hummed. It was past midnight now and they had a math test the next day that they were both dreading, but Ryan was still wide awake. “What do you think-“

“Stop,”

“What?”

Ray rolled so he was straddling Ryan’s hips and put his hands on both of his boyfriend’s cheeks. “Stop thinking so hard, I can hear you in my own head,”

“I can’t just ignore everything Ray,” he rolled his eyes. Ray raised a brow at him and leaned down to peck him on the lips.

“As adorable as you are when you’re stressing over your future I need you to stop and go to sleep,”

“I doubt I’ll be able to,”

“Why?”

“I’m wide awake,”

“I’ll tire you out,”

“Don’t say something you don’t mean,” Ryan warned, voice a low rasp.

“Not like that,” Ray laughed, punching his arm. Ryan wiggled his brows and moved closer, lips meeting Ray’s in a soft press. The kiss grew heated almost instantly. They moved against each other until both of their shirts were removed and Ryan was moving so they were lying sideways and facing each other. “I’m getting kinda tired,”

“Really?” Ray asked doubtful.

“Yes, because if I don’t go to bed soon and you keep this up I won’t be sleeping until some important business is taken care of,”

“Gross, shut up,” Ray blushed.

“Gross? Ray, seriously?”

“Stop,” he swatted at him, giggling when Ryan caught his wrist and brought his hand to his mouth, kissing his way from his hand up to his lips, leaving a small bruise on his neck while he went. They left lazy pecks on each other’s faces, going for noses and getting eyes and cheeks because of their exhaustion before soon they were collapsing, bare chests pressed together and foreheads touching.

They both did okay on their test the next day. Not nearly acing it, but passing.

They got home and started working on their college applications after, filling out the basics, but when Ryan got to the line asking for his major he grew frustrated and pushed his laptop away from him. Ray frowned and reached for his hand, tugging him closer. He kissed him quickly before pulling away and making sure that Ryan was looking directly at him.

“You know that you can just save it and come back to it later,”

“I know, but I just don’t know when I’ll be able to get back to it,” he sighed.

“Rye, I know you. You’ll come back to it every day, stare at it, get mad, and close out of it,”

“Stop knowing me,” he grumbled.

“Never,” Ray grinned. “Babe, seriously, it’s okay if you pull a Jack and take a bunch of electives,”

“I don’t wanna be at college any longer than I have to,”

“So God dammit, go for computer animation and be happy,”

“Mom says that I’ll never find a steady job, or a good paying one,”

“So? She doesn’t know that, by the time we get out of college there could be a huge demand,”

“That’s true,” Ryan said looking back at his laptop.

“Just do it, worst thing is they say no and you try for something else. You have enough time,”

“Okay,” he nodded.

They finished and sent their applications two hours later, after struggling to write their essays and get all their required information, and left to celebrate with dinner. They went to a cute little Italian place in the middle of town and sat across from each other, ignoring the disgusted looks that some of the people at tables around them were giving at their hands clasped on the table top.

“We can dorm together and-“ Ray was rambling but Ryan wasn’t really paying attention. He had just applied to college. He was really graduating in June. Everything was suddenly… real and terrifying. He was going to be leaving home and getting an apartment or living on campus. He’d go days without seeing or talking to his family, spend most of his time working and hanging out with his friends, maybe join a frat. He could go home to Ray every night. The possibilities were endless and while it was scary it was also thrilling. “You aren’t even listening,” Ray sighed eventually.

“I’m sorry,” he wasn’t even gonna try lying, Ray was too good.

“What’s on your mind?”

“College, the future, you,”

“What about me?”

“If we dorm together I get to come home to you every single night,” he smiled.

“That would be a nightmare,” Ray said dramatically.

“Absolutely, but I look forward to it,”

“I’m sure,”

“I can cook for you every night,”

“Ryan, I know what happens when you try cooking,”

“That was one time,”

“You used expired spaghetti sauce! I had food poisoning for three days,”

“You lived,”

“Barely,”

“I’ll take lessons if you want me to,” he offered.

“That would actually be cool. You and Geoff could take classes together,”

“You just don’t wanna do any work,”

“Not true, I’ll make you ramen and cereal every night,”

“I’ll look into those lessons,”

“That’s probably best,”

When he wasn’t stressing over his life or hanging out with Ray he was spending a lot more time with Geoff and Jack. The lads all had their English class together and while Ryan had classes with both Jack and Geoff, they didn’t have one all together. So the three of them started finding themselves on Xbox or on group chats a lot more, meeting up on weekends for movies or lunch to complain about the week’s events that they had missed out on at lunch conversations.

“I’m telling you man, she’ll come around,” Jack would end up saying at least once a week when Geoff would start getting nostalgic. He’d look at Ryan for back up but he would usually brush it off with a, definitely and nothing else because the truth was, he didn’t know anymore. This break up had gone on longer than any of them thought and while he hoped that they’d be fine, he really didn’t want to put any ideas in Geoff’s head, so instead he’d steer the conversation to school or the upcoming holiday.

“Christmas is gonna be a bitch,” he sighed.

“Why?”

“Well, things are expensive and I wanna get Ray something nice,”

“You’ll figure it out,”

“Ask Michael,”

“Why?”

“He’s closest to Ray after you,” Geoff shrugged.

“I’ll call him later then,”

The first thing he did when he walked into his bedroom was call Michael and ask him to meet him the next day at the mall for help. This lead to a three hour, walk through every store, adventure that left Michael practically pulling his hair out before they came across a small store in one of the corners next to a Macys that they had walked by before.

“What about something from here?”

“Would that be weird?”

“Nope,” Michael said dragging him inside.

They searched through display cases and racks on walls before Ryan found something that looked nice enough. “Should I get a different color gem?” he asked pointing at the small yellow glint in the middle.

“Absolutely, and engrave that shit,”

“With what?”

“I don’t know, how about the word ‘Forever?’”

“Why?”

“Because you’ll love him forever? Isn’t that the point?”

“Oh yeah,”

“Or what about, ‘most of the time?’” he offered.

“Shut up,” Ryan laughed, shoving at him and calling the sales man over. They talked for a few minutes before agreeing on a time to pick it up and then they were leaving.

“I hope he likes it,”

“I think he will,”

“He’ll probably call me gay and laugh,”

“Well, you are gay at least,” Michael shrugged.

They didn’t get the chance to exchange gifts before Christmas since Ray’s ‘wasn’t ready’ so they decided they’d do it New Year’s eve after secret Santa’s.

After Geoff opened his present he found the one marked to Ryan on the table and slid it over to him. He opened the small package to find a small stack of papers all stapled together. Each one had an _I Owe You!_ Written at the top and they ranged from everything between, a kiss and a blow job and at the bottom was a really shitty _Ray_ that looked like a three year old drew it.

“That was not me! Those are not valid!” he cried when Ryan started laughing and reading them allowed.

“Wait, let me see,” Geoff demanded holding his hand out. After some not so careful consideration he looked up at Ray and Ryan then nodded his head. “I’ll allow it,”

“I won’t!”

“You’re no fun,” Ryan pouted.

“Who was it?” Ray asked looking at Jack.

“Nope,” he laughed.

“Guilty,” Michael raised his hand earning a pillow to the face and a high five.

~~~

Unlike all of his best friends it seemed that Jack’s life was going pretty great. He managed to catch up in all of his classes after the first few weeks and he was excelling now, he got a raise at work and he got to spend time with Caiti nearly every day. More often than not they were having dinner together at her house, sitting next to each other on the couch while Griffon and her parents were upstairs or out. Sometimes Griffon would join them but she could tell it was awkward and left half the time. Jack tried talking to her but she usually gave one word answers and changed the channel a few times before deciding she didn’t want to be in the room and going back to her room or out for a drive.

Jack was normally gone by the time she got back but two times he wasn’t, so he saw her blood shot eyes when she walked by him, nose red and cheeks damp. When she caught his eyes she’d normally run up the steps and lock herself in the bathroom for a long shower.

Two nights before Christmas Caiti left to go change before going for a late ice cream run with Jack when Griffon returned from a drive as usual running her hands under her eyes to clear her face of tears. Jack got up before she could take off and held a hand out, advancing slowly. She had one hand on the railing, other wrapped around her waist.

“What?” she sniffled.

“I just- I want you to know I still care about you. You’re still my friend,” he said watching her closely.

“I know,”

“I don’t think you do. I know you’re going through some shit and that’s okay. If you ever wanna talk, I’m here. I won’t tell Geoff,” she winced at the mention of her ex but nodded and stepped forward, watching Jack like she knew what was coming. He smiled and opened his arms for her, rubbing her back while she buried her face in his chest. Caiti walked downstairs then, stopping when she saw them. They pulled away awkwardly when they noticed her grinning at them.

“Do you wanna come with us to get some ice cream?” she asked, moving to put a comforting hand on Griffon’s arm.

“Yeah, it’ll be fun,” Jack added when he sensed her hesitation.

“Sure, let me clean up,”

They ended up at the beach with their cones, sweaters hugged tight while they walked around in the sand. Caiti started pointing at the sky and making up stupid stories for all the stars just so Griffon would laugh while Jack walked behind them with a smile plastered on his face. Eventually they stopped, sitting in a line while the waves came down on the shore, crawling up, up and almost to their toes before falling back down. It was calming and they all had to huddle close for warmth, Jack in the middle. Griffon was trying to be polite and give him some space but he and Caiti both pulled her into a tight embrace.

“I can’t believe its Christmas again,” Griffon sighed. “I feel like it was just prom,”

“I know. This year is flying by. Soon we’ll be in college,”

“Don’t remind me,” Griffon rolled her eyes, pushing herself back to lie down.

“It’ll be fun! We can be roommates,”

“You’re going to college here?”

“Hopefully, my parents let me come to high school here for two years. I think they can handle college,”

“Don’t you ever get homesick?” Jack asked turning to her.

“Of course, I talk to my parents every day and they send me pictures of my favorite places every week,”

“That’s adorable,”

“It helps, and college will be no different,”

“Don’t you guys worry that college will change everything?” Griffon asked, bolting back up.

“What do you mean?”

“Frats and sororities, harder classes, part time jobs. Everything is gonna be different. We’re gonna be stressed and people are gonna be busy and we won’t be able to hang out as long,” she rambled. “Everything is gonna be horrible,”

“Is that…” Jack was treading on dangerous waters he knew. “Is that part of the reason you broke up with Geoff?” he asked slowly. She didn’t answer right away which Jack took as a good sign.

“Some of it,” was all she ended up offering.

“What’s the rest?”

She shrugged.

“Well,” Caiti started before things could go wrong. “That’s when you just need to have faith that things will work out,” she shrugged. “You gotta trust your friends and yourself, you’ll find time when you can and understand that you’re not the only busy person. Friendships and relationships are gonna suck, but if you really care you make them work,”

“Yeah, plus, you’ll be making new friends too which really isn’t horrible. A whole new world is opening up Griffon. You don’t need to stick to high school,”

“But we will miss you,” Caiti added quickly. “I don’t think I want anything other than high school,”

“Well it’s a good thing most of it is coming with you,”

“I guess,”

They left shortly after, claiming it was getting too cold and late so they piled into Jack’s car and took off so they could make it back before anyone’s parents started really worrying. The ride was loud, music blasting with the windows down while they screamed cheesy lyrics as loud as they could. When they pulled into Griffon’s drive they turned the volume down and rolled everything up, making sure they had all their things before heading in for bed. Jack walked them to the door, kissing Caiti and hugging Griffon before heading back to his car after the door was shut.

“Jack!” he heard behind him. He turned to find Griffon standing in the doorway. The porch light was off so it was kinda hard to see her but when he stepped closer she came outside and ran down to meet him. “Thank you,”

“For what?”

“Being easy to talk to. Being kind,” she smiled.

“I’ve known you for four years Grif, you’re easily one of my best friends,”

“You’re one of mine too.” They hugged for a few long moments before she was pulling back to kiss him on the cheek and walk back inside. “Don’t worry, I’ll tell Caiti I came onto you,” she winked before shutting the door.

He was back at his car door when he heard his name again and turned to find his girlfriend this time, walking towards him holding a red bag with tissue paper sticking out of the top in all directions. He walked the short distance to meet her and held his hand out when she offered the bag to him.

“What’s this?”

“Christmas present,” she grinned.

“You wanna do them now?”

“Obviously,”

“Here, hold on,” he said holding a finger up and backing up to the trunk of his car. He popped it open and grabbed the plastic grocery bag it was still in and returned. “I thought we were doing them later so I haven’t wrapped them yet, I can go do it and come back if you-“

“Shh,” she put her finger over his lips. “This is perfect,”

“You first,” he urged, taking the red bag back from her while she pulled her gift out.

There was a small white cardboard box that she opened to find a necklace lying in, the state of Texas dangling from a gold chain, a little heart shape cut out where Austin was located. She laughed when she took it out but offered nothing to Jack’s confused look, gesturing to his bag before clasping the chain around her neck.  He looked at her skeptically and reached through the tissue, hand bumping something soft and furry. He wrapped his hand around it and pulled it a stuffed koala out with a little piece of paper and string tied around its neck.

“I named a koala after you,” Caiti cut in before he could start reading the certificate.

“That is so Australian,”

“Guilty,” she rolled her eyes. “There’s more,” she said pointing at the bag. He slowly slid his hand back in and dug around until he found that there were two pieces of paper at the bottom. He pulled them out to find tickets to the zoo and started laughing.

“That’s awesome,”

“We can go pick out our future pet,”

“I want a tiger,”

“What about a nice ostrich?”

“Why not both?” Jack offered.

“Both is good,” Caiti laughed. Jack leaned down to kiss her, stuffed koala getting crushed between their chests.

“Merry Christmas Eve,” he whispered when they pulled away.

“Merry Christmas Eve,” she echoed kissing him one more time. “See you tomorrow?”

“If you want,”

“I want,”

“Sounds good,”

Christmas itself was pretty uneventful, he woke up, had breakfast with his parents and then they gathered in the living room to open presents. He got a few new games and some clothes, nothing too exciting. Caiti called him around five and demanded that he join them for dinner at Griffon’s house so he was putting on some nice clothes and making his way across town.

Griffon greeted him in a deep red dress, hair pulled back and face made up, with a grin and pulled him into the house for a hug. “How has your Christmas been?”

“Better now that I’m here, yours?”

“It was good. Caiti booked us a spa day,”

“That’ll be fun,”

“You and the boys should really do it sometime,”

“Not really our thing,”

“Four of you are gay,”

“Three,”

“Still half. You’ll feel so much closer to them after,”

“I’m already close to them,”

“You aren’t close to anyone until you got a massage in the chair next to them,”

“How does that make any sense?”

“When you’re that relaxed you just talk about everything,”

“I’ll be sure to take the guys out sometime, find their dirty secrets,”

“Let me know what you find out,”

“Probably that Ryan has murdered someone, Ray _can_ speak Spanish, Gavin isn’t British and Michael is gay,”

Griffon laughed for a beat before she got quiet, looking thoughtfully down at the tiled floors. “You know… you can talk about him. We don’t need to pretend he doesn’t exist,”

“Sorry,” he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly.

“It’s okay,” she shrugged. “Just don’t want you to feel weird,”

“Okay,” he nodded. She smiled and pressed a hand to his arm before moving to walk into the living room.

He went to follow her when he heard a new voice, “don’t you look handsome?” He looked up the stairs to see Caiti in a beautiful yellow dress standing at the top beaming at him.

“Hey you,” he smiled. She walked down to him and grabbed his hand pulling him into a kiss that ended far too soon in his opinion. “You look beautiful,”

“Thanks, Griffon bought my dress,” she did a little twirl so he could see everything and when she stopped he noticed that she was wearing her little Texas necklace still.

“She has lovely taste,”

“Believe me, I know,” she smiled, taking his hand and pulling him into the living room where Griffon’s parents were watching _A Christmas Story_ in their nice dinner clothes.

“You look nice,” her dad commented, nodding at his attire when he finally pulled his attention away.

“Hope you like Chinese food,” her mom added after. He nodded and sat down next to Caiti while the movie played out.

The food arrived; they ate, watched more movies, and talked about their day for a few more hours before Griffon’s parents were going to bed and leaving the kids alone. They sat wound watching Christmas movies on almost every channel before Griffon started falling asleep and eventually stood up to retreat to bed. Caiti moved closer to him when she left, lifting his arm so it was over her shoulders.

“Rate your Christmas overall,”

“Ten out of ten,” he smiled, leaning over to kiss her.

“Good, I’m glad.” They sat quietly next to each other, eyes closing and snapping back open for a while before Jack looked at the clock and saw that it was almost midnight.

“I should get going soon,”

“Not just yet,” Caiti yawned, leaning up to kiss him.

“A few minutes can’t hurt,”

A few minutes turned into an hour and then he was scrambling to button his shirt back up and get out of there before his parents started blowing his phone up. “Love you,” Caiti whispered from the front door.

“Love you too,”

“Text me in the morning,”

He took a few extra shifts at work in the days after Christmas, organizing books and helping update the database while Caiti ran the front desk. Their boss had started giving them more work at the start of the new school year, after throwing a welcome back party for Caiti of course, and now they were practically running the place a few times a week. Well, the downstairs at least. The teen and kids sections mainly controlled the bottom floor while the ‘study center’ and meeting rooms were upstairs and more popular, so naturally they let the teens run the bottom half.

“How can any teenager or… person in general sit down and invest time into the Twilight series. It’s garbage,” Caiti said holding it up from the returned books bin one morning.

“Some people have time to waste,”

“At least pick a good series,” she sighed, shoving it back on the shelf.

“One day no one will even know what it is,” he promised.

“I hope so,”

“Maybe Harry Potter will make a comeback soon,”

“Comeback? Harry Potter is still relevant,” she argued.

“Ehh, the movies are over and the books haven’t gotten checked out in a while,”

“School books are popular right now. I’m sure when the summer hits it’ll be crazy again,”

“Exactly, the comeback,”

“It’ll be epic, I’ll get my robes back out and everything,”

Other than working he was busy planning the New Year’s party with his parents. They had contacted the other boy’s parents and decided that yes they could have some champagne for the holiday and yes they could do a Chinese food buffet before they were crafting invitations that Jack personally delivered, as if they really needed to be invited and RSVP.

Soon it was the thirty first and they were rushing around to decorate the house with streamers and make sure they had everything before the afternoon when Ryan and Ray showed up with their secret Santa gifts and bags of chips and other snacks for the night. Gavin got dropped off an hour later followed closely by Michael and soon they were all waiting in the basement for Geoff while passing time with video games.

Finally he was there and they were opening presents when Jack was handed a large black box and opened it to find a stack of Harry Potter video games and a new Playstation controller since he had broken his last one a few weeks before. “Now I can play video games with Caiti that she’ll actually enjoy,” he grinned.

“You mean she doesn’t like Rainbow Six?” Ray joked after hearing her rant at the lunch table a few days before break.

“God, that is a game she will never love,”

“Well now she can play a game she will love guaranteed,” Ryan gave him a thumbs up.

“Thanks man,” he said patting him on the back. “Alright, which one of you fucks is next?” he asked looking at the lads.

~~~

Michael missed Gavin.

There was not use hiding the fact. Gavin wouldn’t have solo sleepovers with him anymore and he hardly hung out at their lunch table anymore because he wanted to be with Caleb twenty-four seven it seemed.

He had texted the Brit multiple times in the last few days about hanging out and the messages were either ignored or met with short excuses. Until of course it was a text about Gavin helping Ray with Ryan’s present, telling him exactly what to have Ray get since it would be ‘cute’ and Gavin replied with an ‘Ok.’

He stopped messaging him on Christmas Eve. That of course was the night that Gavin ended up inviting him to play Halo with him when he saw that he was online, they didn’t talk about anything other than the mission but just hearing him after such long silence was enough for Michael. After a few hours and one more successful mission there was rustling on Gavin’s end and he heard a yawn and a “Merry Christmas Michael.” He looked at the clock to see that it was just two minutes after midnight.

“Merry Christmas Gavin,”

“I should get to bed, my parents will want me up early,” he admitted.

“Goodnight Gavin,”

“Night Michael,” and then the screen flashed when a message popped that _GavinoFree_ is offline. He turned his TV off and leaned back in his chair to stare at the ceiling. Everything was so fucked up this year; nothing was going as it was supposed to. They were supposed to hang out every day and go on group dates, have sleepovers and talk about shit that was going wrong in their lives. But Gavin was avoiding him and Geoff was single and everyone was too busy to sit down and talk and God damn this sucked.

He tried not to let it get to him by spending more time with Lindsay, but it only helped a little. They went to a few movies and had dinner a couple times before Christmas, meeting up on Christmas day to have dinner and exchange presents. They lounged in his room playing weird cat games Lindsay had found on steam before finally Michael was announcing that he wanted to give her her presents and moved to his closet to pull out the large red bag. There was a bouquet of roses sticking out of the top and pink tissue paper poking out that made her gasp.

“That’s adorable,”

“I know, I’m the best,” he laughed.

“Cocky,”

“You know it,”

“Shut up and let me see!” she said excitedly swinging her feet and clapping her hands. She was such a kid sometimes, acted just like Gavin most of the time really. She pulled out the roses and gingerly set them on the bed next to her turning to pull away the tissue before she gasped at the sight of the black and green robe.

“Even though you’re a filthy Slytherin I figured I could still date you,” he joked.

“Shut it Gryffindor,” she warned, standing up to put the robe on over her blue dress.

“Make me,” he challenged, stepping closer to the bed only to get pulled down. They wrestled for a little bit before he let her win and endured ten minutes of gloating before rolling her over and silencing her with a kiss.

“Wait,” she mumbled against his lips, “I don’t wanna get carried away before you get your gift,”

“Fine,” he said overdramatically rolling off of her with a hand over his heart. “But if I die because I don’t get my fair maidens kiss it’s on you,”

“I’ll read at your funeral,” she said blankly, moving to take the small bag she brought earlier out of the computer chair. She handed it to him wordlessly and lay back down on the bed. “Open it,” she demanded.

He laughed at her and dropped a pillow on her face before actually pulling it open and reaching in to pull out a small white wand that had _Wind Waker_ engraved along the side. “Oh shit,” he breathed.

“I thought you might like it, there’s a stand in there too, in case you wanna put it on a shelf or something,”

“This is cool, I love that all my friends and now my girlfriend are all feeding into my Zelda obsession,”

“We just know what you like.” He kissed her again, longer this time, letting himself get carried away by her soft lips and while it was always nice kissing her this suddenly felt… different. He liked kissing, it was always exciting and intimate, but this felt duller. Like neither of them was really into it anymore. He ignored it though, maybe it was just an off day, they all had those.

He tried to get into it, kissing along her soft skin, running his hands over her arms and stomach but he couldn’t find the same joy he usually did and soon his mom was calling up the stairs that dinner was ready. “We can continue later,” he whispered against her lips, pecking her again before getting off and adjusting his clothes and hair, glaring at her when he saw the dark red bruise on his neck. “I don’t have long hair to cover this with,” he pointed earning a laugh.

“Oh please, like your parents don’t know what we’re doing,” she walked out the door and started down the stairs.

“I am their saintly son thank you!” he called.

“Oh boy,” he heard his mother say from the dining room.

Dinner was uneventful, since his parents already knew Lindsay there was no need for awkward dinner talks about her intentions or life, her parent’s jobs, her future plans. They talked about how school was going so far, and how their vacations had been going, about the new movies playing and the new Mexican restaurant that was opening in a few weeks downtown.

When they were all finished Michael and Lindsay stood up to grab everyone’s plates only to be shooed away by his mom. “You guys go enjoy the rest of your Christmas,”

“Mom,” Michael sighed. “You cooked and gave me an awesome holiday, go watch a movie with dad,”

“Are you sure?” she asked looking between him and Lindsay.

“Of course, it was lovely,” Lindsay smiled, taking her plate and glass and taking them to the sink. She stood next to Michael as he washed and she dried before setting them on the counter for them to put away after.

“Dish washing,” Michael started singing lightly, swaying his hips back and forth.

“Here we go,” Lindsay deadpanned, grabbing another cup from his hand and shoving the towel inside.

“Gonna put it in the sink and wash it all around,”

“Michael,” Lindsay warned. He knew she hated it when he started making weird songs up.

“Dish washing,” he repeated it about ten times before he decided to try his hand at beat boxing. Lindsay took one look at him and then at the towel in her hand before she turned back to him and shoved it into his open mouth. He nearly chocked before spitting it out and grabbing at her arms, pulling her closer and raising a brow, she grinned up at him while he glared. “I know you didn’t mean to do that,” he said slowly.

“I think I did,”

“Oh?

“Mhm,”

“You better watch yourself,”

“You gonna get me?”

“Of course,” he leaned closer, kissing her, hands still wrapped around her arms, moving down to her wrists and pushing them against the sink. They moved slowly against each other while his parents were oblivious in the other room and finally he let go of one wrist, moving his hand to her lower back where it was pressing against the counter. He rubbed her skin gently, hand reaching the curve of her bum before disappearing completely. She grinned against his mouth, free hand coming to tangle in his hair when something wet was being poured on her and she was pulling away with a gasp.

“Asshole!” she shrieked making him start cackling.

“That’s what you get!”

“Michael, are you harassing your girlfriend?” his father called from the living room.

He yelled ‘no’ the same time Lindsay screamed ‘yes’ and then she was swatting at him making him laugh and push her out of the way gently. “Go change into some clothes upstairs, we’ll throw that in the wash,” he chuckled, still calming down. She glared and moved out of the room backwards so he couldn’t sneak up on her.

“It’s on,” she warned.

“Don’t ruin anything in my room or I swear to God you won’t make it home tonight,”

“Michael!” his mother scolded, but he could hear the smile in her voice.

“Finish cleaning up,” Lindsay demanded rushing up the steps. Michael watched her go, smirking, before turning back and finishing off the dishes.

Other than seeing Lindsay he spent a lot of time at work or hanging out with Ryan on Xbox until finally it was New Year’s Eve and he was spending the whole morning getting ready for the party and begging his parents to bring him over early so he could see all of his friends. They told him that ten was way too early to go to a party that wouldn’t even start until three or four so they sent him back upstairs to play games or nap. He ended up doing neither, cleaning his room, making sure he had his secret Santa gift along with Gavin’s since they hadn’t really made it clear if they were giving each other presents this year but he assumed they still would.

When he got to Jack’s he was excited to see that Ray, Ryan and Gavin were already there, lounging in the basement with video game controllers in their hands while they yelled about someone team killing again. Gavin was trying to act upset about it but it was pretty obvious that he was the one who had done it and didn’t want to be blamed.

“Gavin murdering again?” Michael asked to make himself known earning greetings from Ray and screaming from everyone else. Ryan and Jack that ‘Yes he is!’ and Gavin that ‘What? I would never!’

“I’m just giving up on this mission,” Ray announced, holding his controller to Michael who shook his head and plopped down next to Gavin.

“Hey,” he said quietly when everyone else went back to talking about the game.

“Hi,” Gavin said, small smiling crawling to his lips.

“How’s your vacation been?”

“Okay,” he shrugged.

“Just okay?”

“Yeah, pretty uneventful. I miss you,” he admitted.

Michael felt like he was flying. His heart actually skipped a beat and the grin that attached itself to his face was unlike anything they’d ever seen. “What?” Gavin asked.

“I miss you too,” he said lunging forward to grab Gavin around the neck and pull him into a crushing hug. “Can we be boi’s again?” he whispered, tightening his grip when he felt Gavin nod against his shoulder.

“How’s Lindsay?” he asked when they pulled away. Michael didn’t know why the question seemed so… odd to him.

“She’s good, I saw her yesterday. How’s Caleb?”

“He’s great,” Gavin grinned, but it didn’t reach his eyes.

“I’m glad,” Michael said, but he didn’t mean it.

“Hey, I’m gonna go grab a drink, does anyone want anything?” Gavin asked the group suddenly, pushing himself off the couch and moving towards the stairs. No one else said anything so he shrugged and rushed up the stairs, returning a few minutes later with Geoff in tow and finally things could get started.

The first few presents went by with laughter and some confusion before Michael was handed a thick package and opening it to find a yellow book with a rainbow on the front. In big pink lets above it read _Coming to Term With Your Inner Self_ he looked up with his brows knitted together, small smile on his lips until Geoff finally leaned forward.

“I figured you could use some light reading next time you get bored,” he shrugged. Michael watched him closely for a minute before nodding slowly and smiling.

“Thanks,” and while he might not have sounded sincere he was actually pretty curious. Not that he’d ever admit that. He didn’t question why Geoff bought him this book but he figured that he wouldn’t actually buy this as a gift without reasoning, so he looked forward to finding it out.

~~~

“Are you really stopping now?” Caleb asked, irritated when Gavin pushed him off of him, reaching for his shirt. He paused when he heard the edge in Caleb’s tone, turning to him with his brows knit together.

“Uh, yes? I have a curfew?” it was more of a question, unsure how to approach the topic.

“Okay,”

“Are you- are you actually mad at me?”

“No,”

“Whatever you say,” Gavin rolled his eyes.

“Come on,” Caleb said, grabbing his shirt and pulling it on. He walked out the door leaving Gavin to follow and took his keys off the hook and calling a goodbye to his parents.

The ride was silent and when Gavin got home he was met with a text from Michael about Ray’s Christmas gift for Ryan, like he knew that Ray had already called Gavin that morning to help him the next day. He responded with an ‘okay’ and crawled into bed. They had two more days until Christmas and Gavin was not looking forward to spending the whole next day shopping because he couldn’t find time earlier.

He woke up to Ray’s face above his, poking at his cheek until he pushed him away and accidentally made him fall off the bed with a loud thud. “Fuck you too,” Ray said when he stood up, rubbing at his butt.

“Sorry,” the Brit yawned, sitting up and stretching his arms above his head, sighing at the relieving crack his back gave. “I’ll be ready in a minute,”

“Hurry, it’s gonna be busy as fuck,”

“We’ll get everything, I promise,”

Gavin’s mom drove them to the mall and told them to call when they were ready before taking off after getting honked at by multiple cars trying to do the same. Gavin waved by and grabbed Ray by the arm, pulling him inside and around the masses of people.

“Don’t let go of me,” he begged.

“I won’t, next time let’s just tie a rope around our waists,”

“Sounds good,” Gavin brought them directly to the other end of the mall, telling him they could start there since they’d be getting picked up at the food court and this would save time running back and forth. Ray just nodded and started walking towards a men’s clothing store when Gavin grabbed him and pulled him towards the small jewelry store.

“Get something for him here,” he said casually, like it wasn’t preplanned.

“Isn’t that too soon?”

“Not even a little,” Gavin shook his head, pulling him to the small display case in the center. He took his phone out and looked at the picture Michael sent him before shoving it back in his pocket and starting to point out different rings, purposely ignoring the one that he was supposed to pick so maybe Ray would ‘discover’ it.

“This one’s nice,” Ray pointed at one a few rows above and Gavin sighed before twisting his face up in disgust.

“It’s so dull,”

“Okay, what about this one?” this one was shaped like a crown and it was nice, but Gavin shook his head again and pointed at one right next to the one they needed before Ray sighed and was about to just agree until his eyes caught the small one next to it. “That’s nice,”

“That could work,” Gavin said considering.

“Do you think he’ll like it?”

“I think so, if you get the right color, and you’ve gotta engrave it,”

“What would I even write?”

“I don’t know, ‘always?’” he offered.

“Why always?”

“You’ll love him always or some shit. I don’t know, everyone does the forever thing,”

“Yeah, I guess that could work,”

Now, Gavin never thought he was a great actor, but apparently he was a fucking good one because twenty minutes later they were walking out with a piece of yellow paper saying they had paid and they’d be back the twenty seventh to pick it up and Ray didn’t suspect a thing.

“Okay, onto Michael,” Ray clapped his hand together and started walking towards the game stop only to be stopped by Gavin who pulled him into the book store next to it. “You’re gonna buy Michael books?”

“Yeah? Why not? He’s been talking about reading the damn series for months, might as well,”

“Whatever you say. Have you bought Caleb’s gift yet?”

“Yup,” he said, moving around the bookstore. He seemed tense at the mention of his boyfriend, which Ray noticed immediately.

“Are you okay?”

“Fine, here it is, let’s go,” they waited in line for a good half hour before they were walking out and finishing up for their parents at a few other stores scattered around the building.

“So what’s going on?” Ray asked when they sat down to have lunch before calling his mom to pick them.

“What?”

“Just like… what’s going on in your life?” he shrugged.

“I- can I tell you something and you can’t be mad or tell anyone else?”

“Of course,”

“I think Caleb like… wants to have sex,”

“Already?”

“Yeah, the last few times I’ve been there he’s been really quick to get my shirt off and try going more and I stop him of course,” he added quickly when Ray opened his mouth, eyes hard. “But… I think he wants to,”

“Is he pressuring you?”

“I don’t think he means to? I’m just venting,”

“Do you want to have sex with him?”

“Not really?”

“Now or ever?”

“Ever I think? I don’t really know, I don’t think I wanna do that with him, at least… not my first time,”

“Gavin, why are you still with him?”

“It’s easy,”

“You’re stringing him along,” he deadpanned.

“I am not! I do like him, I stay because it’s easy and I’m there cause it’s nice,”

“Whatever you say,”

He got home and crashed into bed after dropping Ray off and squeezed his eyes shut. This year was taking a lot out of him and he really just wanted to catch up on the sleep he had been missing since school started. He had a few more text messages from Michael asking him how he was doing and if he wanted to hang out, but honestly it was exhausting.

Avoiding Michael or hanging out with him was taking a lot out of him and Gavin really couldn’t handle it anymore. He wanted to be over him, to be able to commit fully to Caleb or anyone else he might date later but every time he thought he was getting over him Michael would text him something stupid or silly or caring and it would make Gavin’s heart _hurt._ He missed Michael. He missed sleeping next to him nearly every night and cuddling. Waking up with his body warm and still next to his while he snored quietly in his ear, but he still stood by what he said. It felt wrong, but maybe he couldn’t let that stop him from living his life with his friend. Maybe he could just push that out of his mind and let it happen.

But why did that feel like they were cheating on their actual partners?

He was on Xbox late on Christmas Eve, running through all the games he had a few times because he wasn’t quite ready to sleep, but he didn’t want to hang out with Caleb and everyone else was busy. He was about to turn it off and watch a movie when the screen blinked and the message _MLP Michael is online._ He opened his friends list, hovering over the name for a few moments before deciding _screw it_ and sending the request. He wasn’t really expecting Michael to accept, figuring that he was annoyed at the Brit for being so rude the last few weeks. He started running around in his game for a few minutes before there was a message telling him that the redhead had joined. He offered a hello and asked if he was ready to start before they were in the game, running around and shooting enemies.

He didn’t realize how much time had passed, busy enjoying the little comments Michael was making under his breath every time he got shot. His phone dinged when he got an email making him jump, checking it and noticing that it was just a little after midnight. He knew that his parents liked getting up early on Christmas morning to enjoy breakfast as a family so he sighed and paused the game.

“Merry Christmas Micahel,”

He said his goodnights and logged off, shutting everything off and crawling into bed, wondering why he was suddenly so awake, body begging him to get back up. He tossed and turned for over an hour before he dragged himself over to the TV and Xbox, checking his friends, sighing when he saw the _last online an hour ago_ next to Michael’s name. He paced his room a few times before throwing a sweatshirt on and slipping out of his room, down the stairs to put his shoes on and go for a walk.

He didn’t have a destination in mind, like his body just knew which way to go, turning this way and that before he found himself at his old elementary school. A lot had changed since he had left, the replaced the swing set with a giant wooden building with benches that swung if you ran back and forth. The old monkey bars had been remodeled and painted over and the swing now had a top piece to make it more of a tunnel. He walked around the blacktop, looking at the painting of the United States, each one in a different color and the repainted basketball court. He walked to the edge of Florida and took five steps toward the court before stopping. He remembered scrapped palms and knees, looking up, wincing at the harsh sunlight to two sneering faces and then there was a short body in a blue t-shirt standing in front of him. He had glasses and beautiful and eyes. Gavin smiled when he looked down at his feet, remembering being pulled up and meeting his best friend.

This whole situation was so messed up. He wanted more than anything to be with Michael, but he knew it was going to happen so he stayed with Caleb because he got attention from him. It was selfish. Being with someone just because you couldn’t have the one you wanted, but he didn’t really care. Caleb and him had an expiration date and while it should’ve already happened Gavin was clinging till the very end for the affection and attention he was given.

He didn’t know how long he stayed there before he was fighting to stay awake and his eyes were sore. He got up and stretched, checking his phone for the time and wincing at the bright light it gave off. It was quarter after four am so he knew he was screwed when he got home but still he trudged his way back, collapsing in his bed, promising he wouldn’t get mad when his parents woke him up in just under three hours.

He met Caleb late Christmas night to give him his gift after his nap, standing across from him on his front porch. Caleb leaned against the railing, Gavin against the wall, and opened his present, a black frisbee with his name written across the top in blue. He started laughing when he pulled it out, looking at the gift in Gavin’s hands and gesturing for him to open it when he gave a confused look. He did so slowly, mouth dropping at the t-shirt with the number _1_ and _Free_ written across the back.

“Did you get me a- Is this like a frisbee jersey or something?” he smirked.

“You’re coming to play with me next weekend,” he stated, as if Gavin actually would agree.

“I don’t think so,”

“That’s another part of your gift to me,”

“A frisbee wasn’t enough?”

“It’s not if my boyfriend doesn’t use it too. Come on, I’ll teach you,” he pushed off the railing, stepping closer with raised brows.

“Does it involve tackling?” Gavin asked after a moment.

“If you want it to it can,” he grinned, stepping so their foreheads were pressed together.

“I don’t,” he deadpanned. “I’m very fragile,”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, it’s gotten to the point that Michael can poke me in the shoulder and I’ll bruise,” he joked, not noticing the way Caleb’s eyes hardened at the other boy’s name.

“I’ll be gentle then,” he whispered finally. Gavin wasn’t really sure if they were still talking about playing frisbee, face going bright red.

He opened his mouth to change the subject, but Caleb kissed him first. It was gentle, smooth and sweet, hands gripping Gavin’s waist. Gavin gripped Caleb’s face with both hands, caressing his cheeks while the kiss grew more heated. Soon Gavin was fully pressed against his house, Caleb’s hands running on his skin under his t-shirt while he kissed hungrily down his neck. Gavin’s head rolled back, letting out a soft moan before one of Caleb’s hands was disappearing to grab Gavin’s thigh and bring it up around his waist. Gavin’s eyes flew open and he moved his hands to Caleb’s chest, pushing him away enough for both of them to breathe.

“We’re in public,” he panted when Caleb raised a brow.

“It’s dark, everyone is asleep,”

“Exactly, my parents are home,” he whispered. Caleb sighed and nodded, stepping back. He grabbed his gift from where it had fallen to the wood below them before and turned to leave. “Wait,” Gavin cried, reaching out to grab his boyfriend’s arm. “What the hell is wrong?”

“Oh, I don’t know, maybe the fact that my boyfriend is repulsed by me?”

“What? No I’m not,”

“You kind of are Gav, you keep pushing me away,”

“Because I’m not ready to sleep with you,”

“I’m not asking you to,”

“It feels like you are,” he snapped. “I feel pressured and I’m not ready and you know that,”

“Okay, I’m sorry,” he didn’t sound it.

“Don’t be a prick.

Gavin slid down against the wall until he was sitting on the wooden panels trying to catch his breath.

Why did Caleb need to get so upset about this stuff? Gavin made it pretty clear he wasn’t ready for everything Caleb was trying to give him, so why didn’t he just lay off?

He did feel bad though, Caleb was probably used to having sex in his relationships, hell that’s probably why he cheated the first time, but he was the one that came crawling back. This whole thing was a mess. He didn’t think Caleb would cheat again considering who Gavin’s friends were and what they did last time, and Caleb was never known to date people twice, so that must’ve meant something.

He’d worry about it later. It was too late for his mind to be running so wild. He slid back inside and up the stairs, falling into bed with a sigh.

He worked in the days that followed Christmas, waiting at tables with Geoff and Michael close by, not really talking to either. He met up with Ryan and Ray a few times to watch movies or do a few _Destiny_ raids, but other than that he was holed up in his room, getting ready for New Years Eve and staying out of any drama.

Caleb came by on the thirtieth, staying for a few hours to watch some movies and make out a little before again Gavin was stopping them and he was leaving in a huff.  The Brit had stopped caring really. If Caleb was gonna be a baby Gavin would let him.

When he got to Jack’s house for the big end of the year party he was ecstatic. He missed his friends and just hanging around with no responsibilities, playing games and falling asleep in a pile. Michael arrived only a few minutes after him and it was like there was a tug in his stomach, pulling him towards the redhead. Before he could blink Michael was talking, saying his name and something about team killing. He wasn’t paying attention but still he responded, mock offended and then Michael was sitting next to him and smiling.

“Hey,”

“Hi,”

“How’s your vacation been?”

“Okay,” he shrugged.

“Just okay?”

“Yeah, pretty uneventful. I miss you,” it just came out. But he found that he didn’t mind it, it was the truth and he wasn’t gonna try hiding it. Michael looked happy about it though.

They ended up hugging before he knew it and he found it… comforting, familiar. It felt like coming back home after a trip to England and he found that he couldn’t stop loving Michael, no matter how hard he tried. Still though, he had to try and be normal. He asked how Lindsay was, name sour on his tongue, trying not to frown when Michael sounded all too happy with his answer. Michael asked about Caleb and Gavin didn’t really know how to respond, he could be honest and say he was being a brat or he could lie and say he was good. He figured it was safer to just lie his way out, not wanting to bombard Michael with his problems.

Geoff showed up eventually and they all started opening presents. He was happy to see that his gift managed to cheer Geoff up, just a little, waiting for it to be his turn. Michael’s gift made everyone stop for a second, and Gavin tried not to blush at the pointed look Geoff was giving him when everyone else turned away.

Gavin ended up unwrapping a copy of _Love Actually_ and didn’t even need to question anyone before Ray was standing up in a flurry and pacing the room.

“You’re British, how have you never seen Love Actually, we are watching this later and then I want you to go home, rewatch it alone and write me a fucking paper,”

“Why are you so heated?” Geoff laughed.

“I’ve been watching this fucking movie since I was little, and Gavin, the real Brit, hasn’t,” he crossed his arms.

“How long have you been planning this?”

“Months, I was gonna send a group text out to everyone else if I didn’t get Gavin for secret Santa cause this shit has gone on too long,”

“Alright, calm down,” Gavin held up his hands. “We can watch it tonight, I’ll follow every word. We can talk in depth about it if you’d like,”

“Thank you,”

“No Ray,” Gavin said seriously. “Thank you,” 

“Moving on,” Geoff clapped his hands together, rolling his eyes.

~~~

If Ray wasn’t with Ryan he was mainly at work, organizing game cases by console and shooting the shit with Kerry. More often than not Ryan would eventually show up and whisk Ray away for his lunch break. He’d mostly let his boyfriend fill the conversation with talk of work or college, eventually Christmas as they got closer to break. He honestly loved watching Ryan talk, he got so passionate and started flailing around, nearly smacking himself in the face every now and then before he realized he was making a scene and calmed down, face red.

“You’re cute,”

“Shut up,”

“No, tell me more about the projection room and everything that’s in it. I’ve obviously never been,” he smirked.

“Oh yeah,” Ryan laughed rubbing the back of his neck. “Speaking of…” he said reaching across the table to grab Ray’s hands. “What are you doing tonight?”

“Hanging out with you?”

“Sounds good, I’ll pick you up here at six?”

“See you then,” he stood up and kissed him across the table, walking back to the store and getting back to work.

Ryan waited on the bench outside the store patiently while Ray finished up, saying goodbye to Kerry and reaching for Ryan’s hand to pull him up. They walked out of the store slowly, enjoying the feeling of finally being done with responsibilities for the day. They went straight to Ryan’s house since the theater was still open and there was no way they’d be sneaking in anywhere.

“I think you should stop working so much,” Ryan said when they were in bed, hand stroking through Ray’s hair.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, I miss you,”

“You work a lot too babe,”

“I know, we can both just work less and lay in bed all day,”

“As great as that sounds, we’re both gonna have to start paying bills soon,”

“We can put it off for a while don’t you think?”

“Not really, you especially, going to college and being an adult,”

“What if I don’t wanna be an adult?”

“I don’t think you really get that option,”

“I mean, I could just run away and be a kid forever,”

“Alright Peter Pan, let’s talk about it,”

“About what?”

“What you’re so afraid of,”

“I’m not afraid of anything,”

“You very clearly are babe. You’re trying real hard to escape the inevitable,”

“Why does it need to be inevitable?”

“Trying to have a conversation with you is like trying to staple water to a tree,”

“Hey!”

“Ryan, please talk to me,”

“I’m worried,” he swallowed loudly, Adam’s apple dancing, “that you won’t be where I am,”

“We’ve talked about this, you can get an apartment and I’ll move in and work full time. I might go to school though,”

“But what if you don’t? What if you decide that it’s not for you, and yeah we live together, but our lives are moving in opposite directions,”

“Ryan, we talked about this, we’re both in this for the long run. I might work a lot and you’ll go to school, but I’ll always come home to you,”

“I just… I don’t know if I can do it without you,”

“I think you can do anything, with or without me,”

“I don’t really wanna find out though,”

“Then I won’t make you,”

After that it was like all of their conversations revolved around Ray and if he went to college, what he would study, who he’d hang out with. So, he started talking to Michael.

“You’re going for game design or some shit right?”

“Yeah, why?”

“Do you think it’ll be fun?”

“Of course I do, that’s why I’m doing it,”

“Is that the only thing you’d go for?”

“No, I think I’d also go for business, but I don’t really see myself in charge of anything anytime soon,”

“Think you got room for another game designer?”

“You looking into it?”

“I think so,” he shrugged.

“Better get started on your application then,”

He called Ryan on his way home and told him that they were going to take care of their applications that night, so before he knew it Ryan was coming to him and they were sprawling out in his room. Ray was unprepared for this it turned out. He figured he could just drop in his name and grades and be done, but he needed his parent’s information, his rank in the class, recommendations and more. It was going well for a while, a few texts to his mom for help here and there but mostly he could figure the rest out, until Ryan got worked up and they ended up dropping it for the rest of the day.

A few days later they found themselves at Ryan’s finally finishing and getting everything settled. When they got to push their computers away this time it was with a sigh of relief, falling next to each other, arms pressed and warm while they rested their eyes.

“That fucking sucked,” Ryan mumbled.

“Yeah, and next you’ll have to fill out a fafsa,”

“That sounds like something Gavin made up,”

“Some British prick probably did,”

“We can do that later, I want a long nap and hot chocolate,”

“That can be done,”

When he wasn’t freaking out about all of that he was stressing out about Christmas. He had already picked out his present for Gavin, but now he needed something for Ryan. What do you get your boyfriend of less than two years when it feels like you’ve been dating and in love forever? He thought about calling Geoff, but he didn’t really want to rub his relationship in the other’s face. Jack was another option, but he had been pretty busy between work, Geoff, school and Caiti so he crossed that name off the mental list too. Michael was his best friend other than Ryan, that was fact, but he didn’t really think he would be much help other than something stupid and funny and that’s not what he was looking for. Gavin, well… he was Gavin, and sometimes he could be a total romantic when they talked on the phone about dates they had gone on or were planning but other times he was completely hopeless.

Still, he picked up the phone and called Gavin first thing on the twenty second, still rubbing sleep from his eyes and lying in bed.

“Hello?”

“What are you doing tomorrow morning?”

“Sleeping,” he deadpanned.

“Not anymore!” Ray sang. “You’re coming shopping with me to find Ryan the perfect present,”

“I am?”

“Yes you are,”

It was quiet for a few minutes before Gavin was sighing and grumbling before saying ‘fine,’ and ending the call soon after.

He looked up every store in the mall online, going through most of their inventory before giving up and distracting himself with video games or movies.

What said ‘I love you and wanna spend my life with you?’ without being weird or wrong? He could get him a stupid stuffed animal for nights they weren’t together but they _were_ together most nights and talked on the phone every other one so it was pointless. He could get him clothes but he ended up stealing most of Ryan’s sweatshirts and shirts and buying your loved one pants was just kinda weird so that was a no go. He supposed he could buy him some video games or something but he didn’t know what his parents were getting him and that might’ve been awkward. He had nothing, nada, zip, zero, this was gonna suck.

Gavin thankfully managed to help him find the most amazing gift at the jewelry store, the one Ray had walked by almost a thousand times and ignored completely on the website because, Ryan and jewelry? That wasn’t a thing ever. But this, this was good, and even if Ryan didn’t love it a million percent he’d wear it every day because he did love Ray, and that he was sure of.

“Do you want me to come over now to give you your gift?” Ryan asked on the phone that night.

“It’s not ready yet,”

“What about tomorrow?”

“Nope,”

“The next day?”

“Nope,”

“Alright,” he laughed. “You let me know when it’s good for you,”

“I’ll call you,”

“Alright, we should get some sleep,”

“Okay, I love you,”

“I love you too,”

He spent Christmas with his family, going to see his aunts and uncles, cousins and all their obnoxious dogs that they had to bring cause no one could watch them for the trip, and opened presents, everything from socks to video games and movies. He texted Ryan first thing in the morning to say he loved him and he’d call him when he got home, but the second he walked through his front door a little after midnight he and his mother were hugging each other goodnight with a kiss on the cheek and walking to their rooms for bed.

He called Ryan first thing the next morning apologizing for the night before and asking how his day was since he couldn’t see him that day either due to work later. Ryan sounded excited, he had gotten all sorts of new games and clothes, his grandparents came down to visit from Georgia and they watched movies for hours until everyone retreated to their rooms.

“When can I see you?” he could practically see Ryan’s pout through the phone.

“I’m working a double shift today. It’s one of the busiest days of the year,”

“That makes no sense, Christmas was yesterday,”

“Rye, today is return day. Things that didn’t fit or people don’t like, it’s all gotta come back,”

“Can I come visit?”

“When it dies down, sure,”

“Maybe I’ll just come hang out all day. I like watching you in action,”

“I hate it,”

“You’re so cute in your shirt, talking about the newest games,” Ryan cooed.

“Shut the fuck up,”

“And when you take their money,”

“Are you a gold digger now?”

“And the way you up sell those warranties, don’t get me started,”

“I’m hanging up,”

“I’m done, I’m done,” he laughed.

“I gotta get ready, but I’ll see you later, maybe,”

“Love you,”

They didn’t get the chance to see each other until the thirty first when Ryan was picking Ray up for Jack’s party. They had planned to be there in fifteen minutes, but when Ray got in the car and Ryan leaned across the center console to kiss him they let time slip away and got there forty minutes later.

They were still first though, settling in and waiting with Jack until everyone else showed up and they were set to give out presents.

As usual Ray was last so he knew instantly that Jack was his Santa. He opened a small box to find a white mask and a black hat with a green duck on it, laughing and putting both on only to be told that they clashed miserably and ‘For the love of God take one of them off,’ so he ended up wearing the mask for the next five minutes.

They all started moving to get snacks or movies they had brought for the night before Geoff was clearing his throat and motioning them all back.

“Oh God,” Gavin started.

“This can’t be good,”

“I got everyone a little something extra,” he announced, reaching into his back pack and pulling out five small boxes, setting each on the table as he went. “I thought since this might be our last Christmas together I would get us all something that we all know and love dearly,”

“Geoff, we are gonna see each other every day,”

“You never know,”

“We all applied to the same school,”

“But someone might not get in,”

“Downer,”

“Just open the fucking presents,”

They did it together, unwrapping and pulling out small plastic figures of their Minecraft characters and underneath each one was a gold block except for Gavin’s that held obsidian. There was a long moment of silence where they looked around at each other before back to Geoff who was tearing up, his own character in his hand holding a diamond pickaxe. Gavin stood up and moved around the table, pulling Geoff into a hug.

“You’re a sap,” he whispered.

“I love you guys,”

“We love you too,” Ryan smiled, joining. Soon there was a clump of teenage boys hugging in the middle of Jack’s basement, small sniffles here, a couple tears there before Geoff declared that he was choking and they needed to get off of him.

They watched _The Nightmare Before Christmas_ and _A Christmas Story_ before getting halfway through _A Christmas Carol_ and having Jack’s mom yell down that it was ten minutes of. They tripped over each other in their mad dash to get upstairs, Michael and Gavin leading the way. Ray and Ryan calmly led the rear, until a hand on Ray’s wrist stopped him and he turned to find Ryan holding a small box wrapped in green.

“I’m ready now if you are,” he smiled.

“Sure,” he walked back to his bag and grabbed Ryan’s gift, a similar sized box with white wrapping and a small blue bow. They handed them over at the same time and waited for one of them to offer to go first. “Same time?” Ray offered after a moment.

“Okay,” they watched each other while they unwrapped until they were both holding small velvet boxes in their hands, watching each other questioningly before opening them up.

Ray knew there was no mix up because he was holding a small ring with a red gem and the word _Forever_ engraved in it while Ryan was holding the same one with a blue gem and _Always._ It didn’t take either of them long to figure it out.

“Who helped you?”

“Michael, you?”

“Gavin,”

“Figures,”

“Maybe they aren’t too useless,” Ray laughed.

“They actually did something cute and romantic,”

“Just not for each other,”

“They’ll get there,” the blond laughed leaning in to kiss his boyfriend softly. They kissed for a few moments before they heard the cheering and pulled away laughing. “Happy New Year,”

“Happy New Year,” Ray echoed kissing him again.

~~~

When the clock hit zero everyone started cheering and hugging each other. Gavin wasn’t expecting anything but in the middle of it all there were arms wrapping around his waist and pulling him back, chin resting on his shoulder. He could tell who it was by the soft curls tickling his cheek.

“Happy January,” he mumbled.

“Happy New Year Gavvy,” Michael responded. Gavin could practically feel the grin splitting his face. They stood where they were quietly while Jack’s parents started lighting off fireworks and everyone talked about their plans and expectations for the new year before the back door was sliding open and Ray and Ryan were tumbling out, new rings glinting on their fingers. Gavin smirked at them when Ray looked at him and rolled his eyes, giving him a thumbs up and holding his boyfriends hand.

“They’re cute,” Michael whispered.

“Yeah,” Gavin said almost wistfully. If Michael noticed he didn’t say anything.

“Hey, we still have to exchange gifts,” he murmured, backing up so Gavin could turn to face him.

“Now?”

“Yeah, come on,” Michael grabbed his hand and started leading him around the house to the front. Gavin raised a brow but let himself be pulled. Michael opened his trunk and pulled out a large bag with Gavin’s name written in big letters across the front.

“Yours is inside, I gotta go get it,” Gavin started to step back but Michael caught him by the arm and pulled him back.

“Don’t worry about it, open your gift,”

“Okay?” Gavin narrowed his eyes at him and pulled the first thing out, a pair of green and black plaid pajama bottoms and underneath that was something heavy and glass wrapped in tissue paper. He unwrapped it to find a green coffee mug with _Best Boi_ written on the outside. “This is awesome,”

“I figured you don’t really drink coffee but you can start! Or pour Redbull into it, up to you,”

“Absolutely, I’ll drink tea in my new pajamas,”

“Sounds good,”

“I’ll Snapchat you too,”

“I look forward to it,”

“Come on, I wanna give you yours,”

They ran inside and downstairs to find that everyone was still outside with the others, cracking of fireworks popping outside while Gavin dug through his bag for the thick package, holding it out to Michael who raised a brow and ripped it open.

“Oh shit, now I don’t have an excuse to not know what’s going on,”

“Nope,” Gavin popped the ‘p’ looking at the _Game of Thrones_ book collection in the redhead’s hands. “You’ll have to get up to date,”

“I’ll start reading them tomorrow,”

“Good, then you can finally start watching the show,”

“I could’ve done that anyway,”

“It’s never as fun when you haven’t read the books,” Gavin pointed out earning a shrug from the other. The door to the basement opened and four loud pairs of feet started stomping their way down.

“What’s up?” Geoff asked when he hit the bottom and saw the other two.

“Did you bang?” Jack asked.

“Obviously,” Michael grinned slinging an arm around Gavin’s neck.

“As usual,” Ray nodded, moving to his bag.

“Let’s get comfy and watch some movies,”

“Love Actually!” Gavin cheered.

“Why not,” Geoff shrugged. They went about setting up their areas and making sure they had everything they’d need for the rest of the night.

Gavin didn’t realize it until they were all back in the room in their pajamas with drinks and snacks in front of them that Michael had the same bottoms and mug as him. Gavin’s mouth dropped. The dumbass actually got them matching pj’s and mugs. Gavin tried his damn best to get something for Michael that wouldn’t give anyone the wrong idea, and here they were, wearing the same outfit and drinking soda out of the same mug. Yeah, no wrong ideas at all.

This was going to be a rough new year.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long!

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Gavin knew this was a bad idea. As soon as Michael had walked up to him and Caleb at lunch last week with that stupid grin, Gavin knew this was gonna suck.

“What are you guys doing tomorrow night?”

“Both of us?” Caleb asked, brow arched.

“Yes,” the redhead nodded enthusiastically. Gavin looked around him at their table, Lindsay was watching eagerly while the others stared at the back of Michael like he was insane.

“Uh nothing,” Caleb answered. They both looked to Gavin.

“Nothing, why?”

“Lindsay and I wanted to know if you guys were up for a little double date,” he explained.

“No,”

“Yes,”

Gavin turned to Caleb with wide eyes. Did his boyfriend really just agree to a double date with Michael of all people? And did Michael really just realize what he had done?

“No?” Caleb and Michael asked at the same time.

“I didn’t think you’d be comfortable,” he said coolly, hand finding Caleb’s on the tabletop.

“It could be fun,” he shrugged.

“Look,” Michael started. “I know we’ve had our… differences but if you’re dating my boi I think we should all start getting along,”

“I think that sounds great,” Caleb grinned. They both turned back to Gavin who pursed his lips, taking in the excited look on his boyfriends face before turning back to Michael.

“When and where?”

“I’ll text you,”

Now, it was tomorrow night and Gavin and Caleb were sitting in a booth at their local laser tagging arena. And across from them were two redheads more in love than ever. Things were… awkward to say the least. Michael and Lindsay kept turning to each other and nuzzling their noses while Gavin and Caleb sat across from them, not really up for conversation.

“You guys are up,” the man in the blue shirt called out to them across the room. They all stood up and slid out of their booths, hurrying to the door to pick their vests and guns and hear the rules.

They all had white on somewhere, glowing purple in the dark room. Gavin chose to focus on that rather than the fact that he was crammed against a wall next to his boyfriend and his best friend, best friend’s girlfriend on the other side. The guy in the blue shirt droned on about safety and having fun before finally he was activating their vests, Gavin and Caleb blue, Michael and Lindsay red. They were released into the arena; splitting up to get cover for the twenty seconds they were allowed before the voice over informed them that it was on.

“I’ll take Lindsay,” Gavin said when they were safely ducked behind a wall. There was a small square that allowed Gavin to peek through and survey the playing field. He looked around a few times before he saw the glow of red across the way and an elbow sticking out.

“Got it,” Caleb nodded and then the game was starting.

Gavin, figuring that he saw Lindsay went straight for the figure he saw earlier. However, when he was shot from behind and deactivated he got behind a wall for cover, but when he was hit again he looked up to see Lindsay on the second floor shooting down at him. He ran back to where he had been at the start so he was underneath her and tried to think of a strategy.

“Fuck!” he heard Lindsay yell from above them, there was laughter and shooting before the swoosh of a vest being deactivated and Caleb’s loud laughter getting farther away. _Dammit,_ that meant that he and Michael were on the bottom floor and Lindsay and Caleb were above. He didn’t have much time to get a game plan before his friend was turning the corner and shooting at him, evil grin on his face.

Gavin glared at him when he was deactivated and made to run, only to be grabbed by Michael and pushed back to the wall. “This is cheating,” he stated when he lit back up and Michael shot him again. His gun was in his hand, currently pinned to the wall by the wrist.

“I call it playing smart,”

“I call it prickish,” he could hear the other two above them shooting at each other, all he had to do was distract Michael long enough for Caleb to get down to them.

“Don’t be whiney cause you’re not as strong,” Michael cooed.

“I am not,”

“I think you are,”

“Michael,”

“Michael!” he echoed in a ridiculously high pitched British accent.

“This isn’t fair,”

“You never play fair,”

“When?”

“Every time we play a video game,”

“That’s not true!”

“It is! You always cheat!”

“You just can’t handle the fact that I’m better at video games,”

“Bullshit,” Michael laughed, grip relaxing a little on Gavin’s wrist.

“True shit. I’m gonna be better than Ray soon,”

“In your fucking dreams,”

“You underestimate me,”

“I think I overestimate you most of the time,” Michael smiled.

“You okay Gav?” they heard from the end of the hall before Michael’s vest was shutting off. Gavin didn’t even realize that not only was Michael no longer shooting him when he lit back up, but they were also standing practically chest to chest.

“He was cheating,” he said quickly, pushing Michael off and moving towards his boyfriend. “Did you get Lindsay?”

“A few times, but she’s quick,” Gavin looked back to see Michael retreating around the wall and across the arena.

“We’ve got a few minutes left, let’s go win,”

“Done,”

They didn’t win the first round, but Gavin didn’t really mind. Michael sat across from him, knees bumping under the table while they all talked and waited for their pizza. Tensions had definitely been broken by the first game and everyone was engaged in a conversation about school or video games at all times.

“Gavin always cheats at video games, watch out Caleb,” Michael warned, pointing his straw at the Brit before dropping it into his drink.

“Oh I’ve already got experience with that,” he winked. “We were playing Halo just last week and this prick somehow managed to find me every time, but he swore he wasn’t looking at the top half of the screen.

“I wasn’t! There’s a bloody radar you bastard,”

“Sure babe,”

“Gavin its okay,” Lindsay said reaching for his hand. “I cheat with Michael every time we play,”

“I fucking knew it!”

“I don’t really hide it sweetie,” she laughed. “I pretty much always tell you when I looked because I comment on how shitty your hiding place is,”

“You do not. You wait till after you’ve killed me, like Gavin,”

“I have never once done that!”

“Yes you have! Every time!”

“I don’t believe you. I’ll call Ray for confirmation later,”

“And he’ll agree with me that you’re a filthy fucking cheater!”

“Michael, you should be nicer to me, I know all your secrets,” Gavin said looking at Lindsay.

“And I don’t know yours?” he countered, grinning at Caleb.

Caleb and Lindsay looked at each other and then at the other two. “Tell me everything,” Lindsay said excitedly, reaching for Gavin again. Michael intercepted her though, lacing their fingers under the table.

“There’s nothing to tell,” Michael said turning his nose up.

“What about the time you stole a book from the public library about sex?” Gavin smirked.

“You mother fucker,”

“My mom did that in middle school,” Caleb laughed. They ignored him.

“What about when you hijacked the playlist at the eighth grade formal?” Michael glared.

“That was classic and everyone knows it,”

“You got detention for a week,”

“You’re the one that paid me twenty bucks to do it,”

“Every dime I had,” the redhead grinned. They went back and forth until they were called for their next round, not noticing the looks they were getting from their dates. Both had tried interjecting multiple times only to be shut down or ignored because the other two only had eyes for each other.

“I think Caleb and I are gonna be a team for this one,” Lindsay said when they got to the door.

“Really?” Gavin and Michael asked at the same time, smiling at each other before calling ‘jinx.’

“Yeah,” Caleb said linking his arm with Lindsay’s and going in to hear the safety spiel again. The two best friends looked at each other and shrugged, following them and waiting patiently for their vests to be activated.

It didn’t take Gavin too long in the game to realize that he and Michael were not going to win because Caleb and Lindsay were making it impossible for them to do so. Every corner Gavin seemed to turn one was waiting with their gun raised, it was like they were psychic. Gavin turned down a hallway, trying to turn back around when he noticed it was a dead end but Caleb was already behind him, chasing him further into the long space.

“Babe,” Gavin said, backing up.

“Hey Gavvy,” Caleb smirked, stepping slowly closer.

“Don’t do it,” Gavin sang.

“Can’t let my teammate down,”

“Why am I not your teammate again?”

“Cause you’ve been all over Michael for twenty minutes,” Gavin’s back hit the wall with a loud thud.

“That’s not true,” he said, gun lowered at his side. This wasn’t the time to start shooting his boyfriend.

“It kind of is, Lindsay noticed it too,” Caleb was standing smack dab in front of him now, gun lowered as well.

“Fuck,” Gavin sighed. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even notice,”

“I know, you never really notice things when he’s around,” Caleb said sadly. Gavin opened his mouth to reply but Michael was turning the corner with Lindsay hot on his heels, shooting Caleb right before his vest turned off. Because Gavin’s was by his side he wasn’t able to defend himself against Lindsay and soon she was the only one left glowing. Michael reached for Gavin’s arm and tugged him towards him, his lips were moving but Gavin didn’t hear him. He stepped forward to follow him out but another hand found his other arm and he slid right out of Michael’s grip. “We can talk later,” Caleb said, shooting Michael when his vest lit back up.

“Okay,”

Turns out later wasn’t until they were pulling into Gavin’s driveway and Caleb was cutting the engine.

“About earlier,” Gavin started.

“Forget it,”

“Caleb,”

“He’s your best friend, I should know better than to try competing with him,”

“You’re not competing with anyone,”

“I kind of am. You have to split your time at lunch and if you aren’t with me you’re usually with him,”

It was true. In the month after Christmas Gavin and Michael had become inseparable yet again. He didn’t think Caleb had a problem with it though, but he thought wrong apparently.

“It’s our senior year. I wanna spend time with everyone,”

“What about me?”

“I’m dating you,”

“I know, but we haven’t really talked about what happens after high school,”

Caleb was leaving for college that much was fact, but Gavin still hadn’t decided what he was planning on. He had looked into colleges that the rest of his friends were looking into and while they had all decided and applied he still wasn’t sure.

“Can’t we figure it out when we get there?”

“Are we gonna get there?” Caleb asked then, turning fully to Gavin. It looked like there were tears in his eyes, but Gavin couldn’t be sure.

“I thought so,”

“Thought?”

“I think so, but it seems you think differently,” he corrected.

“Well, I want us to get there, but… this is just so difficult,”

“Caleb, I’m in this, I wanna get there. Let’s get there,”

“Okay,”

“I’m sorry that I made you feel like it was a competition,”

“It’s okay,”

“No it’s not, I’ll make it up to you,”

“I love you,” Caleb whispered making Gavin’s breath hitch.

“I-“ he couldn’t say it back. Why couldn’t he say it back?

“It’s fine. Tell me when you’re ready,”

“I will,” he leaned over the seat to kiss Caleb quickly before ducking out of the car and rushing up his driveway. His phone was out of his pocket and in his hand almost instantly. “Pick up,” he muttered over and over until a slightly groggy voice answered.

“What’s up Gavvers?”

“He told me he loves me,”

“Oh Christ,” Geoff mumbled.

“Help,”

“What did you say?”

“I didn't,”

A long sigh. “That’s rough,”

“I don’t know why. I just couldn’t do it,”

“I know why,” Geoff said casually. Gavin could practically see him shrugging through the phone. Gavin wasn’t too sure he wanted to hear the answer.

“Why?” he asked anyway.

“You’re in love with Michael,”

“Still?”

“Why the fuck are you asking me that?”

“I don’t know, you’re smart,”

“I am,” Geoff agreed. “Look, you’ve been in love with him for many years, and hanging out with him every day makes it impossible for you to get over him,”

“I tried distancing myself,”

“I know, it’s not your fault. He’s in love with you too,”

“Geoff,” Gavin warned. “Don’t start this right now, everyone says that and it gives me false hopes,”

“I know and I’m sorry but at this point there is absolutely no way in the entire fucking world that he doesn’t at least feel for you a little bit. You’ve tried your fucking best to get away from him and get over him and he reels you back in. He knows what he’s doing Gavin,”

“This isn’t about Michael, it’s about Caleb,” Gavin tried.

“The one thing that your life will always be about is Michael,” Geoff said calmly. “He is the one thing that you will always come back to. You can’t tell your boyfriend you love him, because you are in love with Michael and you always will be,”

It’s not what Gavin wanted to hear, but he supposed it was the only thing that he could hear. It was the only thing that was true when it came to this situation. He loved Michael, was madly _in love_ with Michael and there was nothing Caleb could do or say that would change his mind.

“What do I do?”

“Tell Caleb the truth, tell Michael the truth,”

“I would rather die,”

“And that’s your problem. You can’t be honest about what you want and who you want. Your life will never be good if you can’t admit your feelings,”

“He is straight, and it could ruin everything,”

“Do you really wanna be best friends with someone that lets your sexuality and feelings ruin it?”

Geoff was right. Michael had always been okay about Gavin’s sexuality. Maybe he would be okay if Gavin had a crush on him. But Gavin still couldn’t tell him, it was too embarrassing.

“I guess not,”

“There ya go,”

“I’m gonna go to bed,” Gavin sighed. He still hadn’t moved from where he was standing, back pressed to the door.

“Just… think about things. Don’t date Caleb. He’s not right for you and you don’t love him, never will,”

“I might, someday,”

“Do you really wanna wait all your life for someday only to find out it isn’t coming?”

“I’ve been doing that since first grade,”

“I love you Gavin,”

“Thanks Geoff,”

“You’ll get a someday,”

“Maybe,”

“Talk tomorrow,”

“Okay,”

~~~

Michael was still elated about his double date when he pulled into Lindsay’s driveway, but the look she gave him when they got there made him pause.

“What?”

“You spent the second half of the night ignoring me,” she said it as fact and Michael had to stop for a second to think about it. At least she always told him what he did wrong so they could work through it.

“No I didn’t, we were all talking,”

“You and Gavin were talking,”

“You and Caleb were too,”

“Michael, we really weren’t,”

“Okay… I’m sorry?” he didn’t really know what she wanted from him, was he supposed to promise to never do it again? He didn’t really get to be with his girl and boy at the same time so excuse him if he was a bit distracted.

“Forget it,” she made to get out of the car but he was quick to grab her hand and pull her back.

“Lindsay come on, why are you upset? Do you want me to stop talking to Gavin when he’s around?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying,”

“What are you saying?”

“I- I don’t know, I just… I felt ignored,”

“And I apologize, it won’t happen again,”

“You can’t really promise that,”

“I can,”

“Gavin’s your best friend, he will always come first in this,” she sounded hurt.

“Lindsay, you are my girlfriend and main priority, I can hang out with Gavin whenever I want. I’m sorry, there will be no more double dates with them I promise,”

“Okay,” she nodded.

“Okay?”

“Okay,”

He leaned over to her and waited halfway, letting her make the final move to kiss him. She did it slowly, a small peck while her other hand opened the door and she ducked out.

He was halfway home when he got a phone call from Geoff, demanding his presence at a familiar swing set. He didn’t even get an okay out before the call was over and he was making to turn into a driveway so he could turn around.

When he got there Geoff was already there and swinging, probably had been for at least ten minutes by how fast and high he was going. Michael approached cautiously, this could’ve been about anything, Griffon, school, one of their friends, he never really knew what Geoff wanted to vent about because most of the time he called the meetings. Geoff didn’t talk to him when he walked up, gave him a passing glance and looked back at the house across the street while he pumped his legs harder.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yeah, fine,”

“Then why am I here?”

“How was your double date?”

“Is… is that why I’m here?”

“Yeah, I just wanted to know how it went?”

“Uh… fine,”

“Oh?”

“I guess,”

“You guess?”

“Geoff, it’s late, I wanna go to bed, just tell me what you know,”

“Caleb told Gavin he loves him,” Geoff was watching him closely. Michael didn’t think his expression changed too much but the small nod Geoff gave him told him otherwise.

“What did he say?”

“What do you think?”

“He loves him back,” there was a sour note to his voice.

“Nope,”

“Really?” Michael didn’t know why he started grinning or why his eyes lit up. Geoff did.

“Yeah, so how was it for you?”

“Lindsay isn’t too happy,” he shrugged. “Said I was ignoring her and Gavin comes first blah blah,”

“What are you gonna do?”

“I told her there would be no more double dates,”

“That’s too bad,”

“Geoff… do you know something? You’re acting weird,” he finally moved to the next swing and started dragging his feet through the wood chips.

“No, I just wanted to know, I’m bored as shit tonight,” he said easily.

“Well… yeah, it does suck. I just wanna hang out with my best friend and my girlfriend and now I can’t,”

“You can’t always have your cake and eat it too,” Geoff sang.

“I guess. I don’t know he seemed to enjoy it too. And Caleb wasn’t so bad either,”

“Did you actually talk to him though?”

“Kinda,” he shrugged. “Enough, and I’m pretty sure we’ll never be friends but I can tolerate him,”

“It’s a start,”

“So… Gavin doesn’t love him?”

“Not yet,” Michael’s eyes widened, and Geoff definitely noticed.

“Do you think he ever will?”

“If he has enough time. To be honest I think he’s still a little hesitant,”

“That’s good,”

“Good?”

“I- I just… I mean,” he took a deep breath. “Yeah, even if I can tolerate him, Caleb is still a shitty dude and I don’t really trust him,”

“Hmm,” Geoff hummed.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he shook his head. “It’s late, we should head home,”

“Geoff,” he sighed. “Don’t be all ominous, talk to me,”

“Michael,” he deadpanned. “Go home and go to bed,”

“Don’t be my father,”

Geoff waved him off and started heading to the curb where they were both parked. “Have a good night,”

“Fuck you,”

Michael finally made it home, opening the door slowly and tip toeing upstairs so he wouldn’t wake his parents. When he was finally settled in bed after a quick shower and double checking his homework was done he pulled his phone out to text Gavin.

_I think we can both agree that double dates aren’t gonna work._

_Yeah…_ was the immediate reply.

_Worth a shot though._

_Definitely._

_Wanna come over tomorrow?_

_Can’t._ Michael knitted his eyebrows together. That was the only thing he was gonna get? One word?

 _Okay._ While he was curious about why, he didn’t wanna entertain Gavin and give him the satisfaction. Two could play at this game.

Only, Gavin just stopped replying and Michael ended up lying awake all night. It should have been a good fucking night. They ate pizza and laughed and talked and played tons of games in the arena and the arcade. It should’ve been perfect. Lindsay was being insane. They had a good time, she was in the conversations too, she even made a comment about… no, that was Gavin. But Caleb did say that… also Gavin. _Fuck._

Maybe only one could play this game really well.

~~~

Jack was grinning at him, which was never a good sign, especially after Ryan had shared something so personal with him. Of course they were gonna talk about important and intimate things, they were best friends, but Jack didn’t need to look so fucking smug that Ryan shared. It wasn’t like he had given him his identity or anything, all he had done was tell him he was getting ready to take the next step with Ray.

“So…” he wiggled his brows.

“Shut the fuck up,” Ryan punched at him but Jack just laughed and patted him on the shoulder.

“Have you talked to him about it?”

“Not really? But I think he wants to too. I don’t really know how to start that conversation,”

“How about ‘hey I wanna bang,’ and see what he says?”

“I could never do that,”

“Why not? He seems like a chill dude,”

“Jack, is that how you got Caiti?”

“God no,” he laughed. “We didn’t really talk about it all too much,”

“And I don’t want to talk about it with Ray either,”

“Yeah, but Ray is shier, he doesn’t like to make the first move, Caiti doesn’t mind it,”

“I don’t want this to feel planned or rehearsed though. I want everything with Ray to feel natural. Like our first kiss,”

“I get it, but maybe you should start hinting,”

“How?”

“Talk about babies or something,”

“So I ask him to impregnate me?”

“Exactly! Works all the time,”

“Jack, do you know how gay guys work?”

“Can’t be too different,”

“Jack- please tell me you’re joking,”

“I am,” he laughed. “Just,” he started, getting serious, “talk to him, let it be known that you’re interested. Just don’t pressure him,”

“Never,” Ryan swore. “I want him to feel completely comfortable with this stuff too,”

It was absolutely true. Whenever he and Ray started to get too heated one of them would end up pulling back, the last time it had been Ray and Ryan realized that he didn’t wanna push back anymore. So while he was completely ready to move further he was gonna wait for Ray and while he might get pushed back a few more times he would at least make it known that he was ready for anything Ray was. The only problem was getting that conversation started.

“Then you really shouldn’t have any problem. Just make it known,”

“When?”

“As soon as possible otherwise this is gonna eat at you and you’ll start getting weird,”

“No I will not,”

“Ryan, I know you better than anyone, you will get weird,”

“Probably,”

Even after talking to Jack for another hour about it in detail Ryan still didn’t feel confident, and when Ray called for their nightly talk Ryan found himself hesitating over the answer button, finger hovering over the green circle at the bottom. He stared at the picture of Ray, head thrown back laughing from something Michael said, and made to hit the answer button when the screen went black. He knew Ray wouldn’t call again, figuring his boyfriend was fast asleep so he slid it onto his nightstand and threw himself back. He could just ignore the conversation and hope that one day Ray doesn’t stop him and they can talk about it briefly and move on, but he didn’t know if that was possible.

He was purposefully late to school the next day so he didn’t need to meet Ray in the morning and when the bell for lunch rang he stayed back, claiming he had a missing assignment to work on. He played candy crush on his phone until the bell rang and he was rushing down the hall and up the stairs to get to history on time. He slid into his seat, jumping when an arm dropped on his shoulder and Gavin’s face was getting close to his.

“We missed you at lunch,”

“Yeah, I’m gonna fall behind in math if I don’t get my shit together,”

“You? Falling behind in math? Not possible,”

“I’m not a master at everything,”

“You kind of are,”

“Well, I can’t maintain it without working on it,”

“Weird, I’ve never really seen you struggle with math,”

“Not the way you guys do,” he smirked.

“Exactly,”

“Sometimes exponents trick me a bit, no big deal Gav,”

“Did you study for this test?”

“Nope,”

“If you ace it I’ll be pissed,”

“I’ll get a B just for you,”

“If you really wanna do something for me, let me cheat,”

“Never,”

“You let me copy homework,”

“Cause that’s at home,” he rolled his eyes, pushing Gavin away when the final bell rang and Michael filed in, sitting next to Ryan. Gavin sat between Caleb and Michael while their teacher droned about the rules of test taking before handing them out.

He met Ray in the hallway and awkwardly held his hand, palms clammy and throat dry. Luckily though Ray didn’t comment, just gabbed about his stupid quiz and textbooks he didn’t want to read. Ryan hummed along with him and soon they were in front of his classroom door, kissing goodbye and Ryan was rushing to science.

He could do this he decided. He could take Ray out for a nice night together and they’d kiss and cuddle for a bit while _Bob’s Burgers_ played on the TV in front of them and when Tina said something weird and they were both giggly and happy Ryan could pause it and start the conversation. Only, that wasn’t romantic at all and Ray deserved a lot more than that. Maybe he could take him for a nice dinner at a fancy restaurant… but then Ray would think something was up and start asking questions. God this was annoying.

For now, he wouldn’t worry about it. It was affecting his entire mood all day, he could practically see Jack’s stupid grinning face saying ‘I told you so.’ He was gonna have his boyfriend over and kiss for a bit, do homework, eat dinner and sleep soundly with his arms wrapped around him. He could worry about sex any other day of his life and he didn’t want it to be today anymore.

He grabbed Ray from English and dragged him to his car without a word, ignoring the concerned glances Ray was sending him but when they were a few miles from the school Ryan pulled into the grocery store parking lot and cut the engine.

“Wha-“ Ray was cut off by Ryan surging forward and catching his mouth in a long kiss. Ray gasped giving Ryan the chance to deepen it before pulling away with a soft pop. “What’s gotten into you?”

“Want to come over?” his voice was husky and Ray’s eyes went wide.

“Absolutely,” he grinned.

“Good,” Ryan smirked, kissing him again before leaning back and starting the car back up.

Ryan’s parent’s were still at work when they got there, sliding out of the car and into the house in a rush. Ray barely had time to breathe before Ryan was pushing him against the wall, thumbs digging into his hips and lips attached to his neck. Ray’s hands gripped the front of Ryan’s shirt eagerly, pulling him closer as if it were even possible.

“Are you okay?” Ray breathed when Ryan pulled back for air.

“Peachy, you?”

“Great,” he whispered, cheeks pink. He turned to start climbing the stairs but as his foot lifted Ryan was grabbing him around the waist and carrying him. “I could’ve walked,”

“Would’ve taken too long,” he grunted, pushing his bedroom door open and dropping his boyfriend roughly onto the blue comforter covered bed.

This part was easy. The kissing and getting heated, they had done this plenty. Ryan knew that Ray’s hands would start shaking when he was getting nervous and wanted to back out. His hands would claw gently at Ryan’s back and then drop all together and he would push his head back and smile awkwardly, apologetically. Ryan could talk to him about it then. He’d pull back and peck Ray on the cheek, give him some time to calm down and then casually mention that he’s ready whenever Ray is. Plain and simple, tucked away to rehash when they were both sure.

Only, Ray’s hands never started shaking. He didn’t claw at Ryan’s back, he didn’t push away to smile adorably embarrassed.

He started grabbing fistfuls of Ryan’s shirt, tugging up to reveal skin and run his hands across the now quivering muscles. Ray smirked at that reaction, not used to being able to surprise Ryan at such a serious time.

Soon both of their shirts were being thrown carelessly to the floor and Ryan felt like he was actually on fire. Ray’s fingers leaving a burning trail every way they went. When they went for another five minutes without Ray backing away Ryan realized _his_ hands were shaking. Unfortunately Ray noticed too.

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,”

“Don’t lie to me,” he scolded, pushing at Ryan’s shoulder until he was sitting up. “We don’t need to do anything you aren’t comfortable with,”

“I know,” he snapped. This wasn’t supposed to be how it went. Ray was supposed to be the unsure one, the scared one. The one that needed comforting, not him. He wanted this, he was sure. So why was he frozen.

“Okay,” Ray said cautiously, putting more space between them. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Why aren’t you pulling away?” he blurted. “You always pull away,”

“Cause I don’t want to?” it was more of a question than a statement, Ray’s eyes conveying his confusion.

“But, if you don’t want to stop and I don’t want to stop…”

“That’s good,” Ray offered. _Oh fuck, we’re actually having this conversation._ “Why are you so worked up? We both want to move further, that’s progress,”

“I… I don’t know what to do,” he said slowly, mentally smacking himself in the face when Ray started giggling. “Not like that. I mean- I don’t, I’m not… I want this to be good for you,”

“What do you mean?”

“I want your first time to be special and I don’t feel that this is it,”

“Okay, first of all Rye, this is your first time too. At least, I think it is,” he teased.

“Mhm,”

“Okay, so it should be special for both of us. If you don’t think this is the time for it then that’s fine, but I want you to know that as long as I’m with you my first time will be magical,”

“Don’t you want something romantic?”

“Ryan, we’ve been on dates that involved who could eat more nacho cheese and not get sick first, dates that we played intense games of monopoly until we nearly broke up because you were cheating,”

“I was not!”

“And we’ve been on dates that were all candles and soft music, chocolates and snuggles. I love every single minute of every day I spend with you. If _you_ want romance, then I’m down, but _I_ don’t need anything special,”

“You’re sure?”

“Positive,”

“I’ve ruined the mood, haven’t I?” he asked awkwardly, looking at where his shirt was lying on the floor in a heap.

“A little,”

“Well… Tron?”

“Sounds good,”

Ryan didn’t sleep that night. His mind was racing with thoughts of all the ways he and Ray could be together. If he didn’t need anything special and Ray didn’t want anything special, then just being together was their special thing. Always had been, he supposed. Then an idea hit him.

At four in the morning just as the sky started to turn light blue and the stars were beginning to fade Ryan rolled out of bed with a sigh and trudged downstairs. He went through the bathroom cabinets until he found what he was looking for and set them in a bag by the front door. He crept back up the stairs and started rummaging through his drawers, the sliding of wood and metal waking Ray up.

“’at time’s it?” he yawned, blinking rapidly and reaching for his glasses on the nightstand.

“Almost four thirty,”

“Why are you up?”

“Come on,” Ryan whispered, holding his hand out patiently. Ray looked at him with a raised brow before nodding and letting himself be pulled.

They tip toed down the stairs and out the front door, getting into Ryan’s car and taking off. The town was silent around them except for the stray car here or there. The birds were quiet that morning too, a gentle breeze rustling at the trees the only thing to prove that the world was still moving around them. Ryan pulled into the movie theater parking lot just before five, getting out and grabbing the bag in the back seat.

“Wait here,” he ordered when they reached their secret, always unlocked, door. Ray didn’t even question him, leaning his back against the cool blue walls and waiting for Ryan to return.

Ryan rushed around the projector room, setting up the perfect scene, making sure things were clean and they had room before he was moving back down to the door and gesturing for Ray to follow him. When they got to the last five steps Ryan got behind Ray and covered his eyes with his hands.

“If I break a bone it’s on you,”

“I’ll carry you to the doctor,”

“Good,” Ray nodded. After a few stumbles due to Ryan’s inability to lead the blind they were standing in the center of the mostly dark room and when he pulled his hands away from Ray’s eyes the gasp his boyfriend gave him satisfied any last doubts in his mind.

He didn’t find many candles in the bathroom, and he didn’t want to take them all in case his mom noticed, so he set up a few where they were most needed, around the blanket in the center of the room. Ray turned to him with a grin and hugged him.

“I thought maybe this would be romantic,”

“It’s perfect,”

“Good,”

“You’re the cutest thing I’ve ever seen,”

“Shut up,”

“I’m not going to school after this by the way,” Ray stated, wiggling his brows.

“Wasn’t planning on it,”

“Good,”

“So… how do you wanna do this?”

“Slowly,” Ray said after a beat. “I wanna remember every second,”

“Okay, and don’t laugh at me if I fuck up,”

“If we can’t laugh in bed we can’t laugh at all,”

“I’m so glad you said that,”

“Why?”

“Because I’m gonna laugh at you,”

“And I’m not allowed to! Rude,”

“We both know you will,”

“Yeah…”

“Are you sure about this?”

“Ryan, I love you. I would not want to do this with anyone else in the world,”

“Okay,”

“Are you sure?”

“A million percent,”

“Then shut up and kiss me,”

~~~

Griffon’s head was thrown back, hand on Bruce’s shoulder while she laughed at the argument he and James were having. It was all bullshit though. Geoff knew from looking at her that she wasn’t really laughing because it was funny. She was laughing because everyone else around them was, because she felt obligated to. She had been hanging out with an array of people now that she and Geoff weren’t together, and Geoff found her in the crowd every time, listening intently to the stories she was told by those around her. She never looked happy though, and she never laughed genuinely. And that’s not to say that she always laughed insanely loudly and had tears in her eyes with Geoff and their friends either, but still… Geoff swore on more than one occasion that he could see her watching him out of the corner of her eyes too, just before her grip on whatever guy she was sitting next to that day tightened and her laughter started up again.

She wasn’t playing a game, Geoff knew her too well. She wasn’t trying to get jealousy from him, wasn’t trying to get him to fight for her. She was trying to make him get over her.

He had heard through the grapevine a few times since the break up that someone had asked her out, or started hitting on her at parties that Geoff avoided, but she never said yes. Maybe she had been over Geoff, before she even ended things, maybe she had stopped loving him a long time ago, and that hurt but now, watching her be all over other people to force him along in the mending process, that was pissing him off. He was about to get up and approach her when the bell rang and everyone started moving around him, back packs slamming against his shoulders with small apologies from Michael or Ryan as they pushed past. He looked over to wave them off, show them he didn’t care and when he looked back Griffon was gone.

“You okay?” a small voice behind him whispered. He looked up to see Caiti watching him with wide sad eyes, Jack standing a few feet back, pointedly not looking at them.

“Yeah,” he shrugged.

“She misses you too,”

“Doesn’t seem like it,”

“I know, but please, just give her time,”

“Of course,” he nodded. She smiled sadly and turned to Jack, taking his outstretched hand and letting him lead her away.

After throwing his tray away and returning from his bag he noticed that the cafeteria was mostly empty except for the stoner kids that were always late and Griffon, cleaning up the mess that her new ‘friends’ had left behind. He walked over slowly, giving her enough time to see him and leave if she wanted. She saw him coming and froze for only a second before focusing back on the table and grabbing another napkin.

“You shouldn’t clean up after them,” he stated when close enough.

“I know, but it makes less mess for the staff,” she still wasn’t looking at him.

“But it just motivates them to keep leaving a mess,”

“Yeah, they’re kind of a bunch of dicks,”

“Then why sit with them?” he asked casually.

“I like making new friends,”

“Since when?”

“Geoff, please don’t do this,”

“I know, I’m sorry,” he sighed. “I just I wanted to let you know that you can still sit with us. And you don’t have too,” he added hastily, “but I don’t want you to think we all hate you or we’ve abandoned you,”

“I- thanks, but I think I’ll refrain,”

“Okay, but if you ever change your mind…” the bell rang, startling them both and then Griffon was grabbing the tray of garbage she had collected, leaving a few cans of soda behind. Geoff grabbed them and her bag, bringing them to the trash can with her and handing it to her before turning wordlessly and heading to class.

He had the same class as Griffon, he could have waited for her, his brain was practically screaming at him to wait for her but he pushed on, ignoring the soft steps only a few feet behind him the whole way. He apologized to their teacher, sitting in his regular seat next to his new neighbor since Griffon moved, ignoring her curious stare when she walked past him to get to her new seat by the window.

Everything fucking sucked.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're getting really close to the end! I don't really know how I feel about it to be honest.  
> Anyway, enjoy!

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

It was getting harder and harder to keep Geoff’s morale up. It seemed like every day one of them caught Geoff staring off into space at wherever Griffon was located in the café or they’d catch him holding the necklace she gave him for Christmas, the one he wore every day. Usually they pretended not to notice. Now it was almost impossible not too when Geoff would hardly try to make conversation at lunch and when they played video games he seemed to be falling from his usual third or fourth place to sixth every time.

They were all at his house this week, trying to play _Left 4 Dead 2_ when Geoff was downed and instead of calling for help to Gavin he just set his controller down and leaned back on the couch with his eyes closed. Ryan and Michael shot concerned looks at each other before turning to Jack and Ray and then finally to Gavin. He paused the game and leaned against Geoff’s side, body moving when Geoff startled before looking down at him curiously. Gavin flashed him a wide grin and nuzzled into his neck making Geoff roll his eyes but drop an arm around his shoulders and pull him closer anyway. Ryan moved onto the couch next, squeezing in on Geoff’s other side and laying his head on top of Geoff’s. Michael and Jack slipped into the empty spaces and made everyone squish together while Ray walked right up to Geoff, sat in his lap and swung his legs up onto Gavin and Michael’s laps.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” Ryan asked, looking around to make sure everyone was okay with it. No one protested, just leaned closer and made direct eye contact with Geoff who finally sighed and closed his eyes again.

“I don’t wanna bore you guys with my sad sob story anymore than I already have,”

“Geoff, we’re here for you,”

“I just… I miss her,” no one said a word. “I know we’re young but, ya know, I thought we were gonna spend our lives together,”

“Us too,” Gavin whispered.

“You still can,” Ray said quietly shrinking back at the glares Ryan and Michael sent him.

“I doubt she’ll come back to me now,”

“Geoff, Griffon loves you, and it’s fucked up what she did but she did this for you and there is still hope,”

“Maybe,”

“Definitely,”

“You know, one night I picked her up around three in the morning cause neither of us could sleep and we spent the entire night lying on my car at the beach,” he started. When he got confused looks from the others he sighed and continued. “She held my hand and told me that she wanted us to be together forever. Said that I was the only boy she’d ever love. I guess she realized that she could find another,”

“Geoff,” Jack started. His eyes were wide and hurt, like Geoff had somehow offended him. “That’s not what this is,”

“Then what is it Jack? If she didn’t realize that she was worth the entire fucking sun and more, if she didn’t realize that I could never take care of her, what is it?” he snapped.

“When you’ve only been with one person for your entire life, you start to get a weird itching feeling. You start to wonder what else is out there and yes it fucking sucks, but you need to be fucking sure,”

“How is she not sure yet?”

“Because you need to really take time apart. You can’t just take a week and decide that that’s it. You’ve gotta wait for shit to come to you, see how you feel,”

“What shit is she still waiting for? Someone else?”

“Most likely,” Jack said honestly, continuing when Geoff winced. “She’s probably waiting for someone else to ask her out so she can see if that’s a road she’s willing to drive down,”

“What if it is?”

“Then you fucking suck it up, wish her the best and start to move on because as awful as this is, there are millions of people on this planet and Griffon is your first love, but she might not be your last,”

They were all silent. Gavin and Ray exchanged glances before looking between Jack and Geoff and back to each other. It was the hard truth, the one they had all been thinking and even talked about once or twice with at least one other person, but to hear it slammed in Geoff’s face by the person he trusts most made them all pause. Geoff was stonily quiet before he tapped Gavin’s shoulder as a signal for him to move so he could retreat. He stood up and left the room without another word.

“Well fuck,” Michael breathed.

“That was harsh,” Ray whispered, shrinking when Jack turned to glare at him.

“It was the truth, and filling his head with hope isn’t good right now. He needs to be prepared for every option,” he was tired of this. Of the crying and whining, they were eighteen years old, it was time to grow up when it came to relationships.

“What if it was you and Caiti?”

“I’d hope someone would be honest with me instead of coddling,”

“If you honestly believe that Geoff and Griffon won’t get back together you’re fucking crazy,” Ray argued.

“Guys, can we not argue about another couples relationship?” Michael leaned forward making sure that he caught both of their gazes. “This has nothing to do with us. We can comfort him but let’s not get involved,”

“He’s right,” Ryan added, dropping his hand over Ray’s.

“They’re gonna figure it out in time and yes Geoff is being whiney and sad, but that’s expected,”

“I’m gonna go talk to him,” Gavin announced, sliding off the couch and moving after his friend.

He found him in his bedroom, curled up on his bed under a blanket. Luckily Gavin was small to worming his way under the cover was easy, especially since Geoff didn’t bother fighting him. His eyes were closed but he wasn’t sleeping, body tensing when his visitor slithered in. He didn’t bother checking who it was, hand reaching out to grab at Gavin’s shirt. They lay facing each other for a long moment, just breathing, Gavin watching and Geoff relaxing before he opened his eyes, red rimmed and shiny. Gavin opened his mouth to speak but before he could a sob was ripping through Geoff’s throat and he was lunging forward to bury his face in Gavin’s neck, body shaking while he cried.

“Geoff,” Gavin sighed, rubbing his friends back.

“I’m sorry,” he hiccupped. “I know I’m being annoying, but I just… she told me so many times that we were gonna be together forever. She promised me that I was the only one for her, and now she did this! I was lured into a false sense of security with her. I devoted all my time to her, three years,”

“Geoff, I know and you aren’t being annoying, this is normal,”

“I’m pathetic,”

“No, you’re not,”

“Gavin, I don’t have a real life plan. I’m going to the same college she is to be with her and now I can’t even be with her,”

“Shh,” Gavin whispered. He kept hushing the other whenever he’d open his mouth until finally Geoff calmed down and before Gavin knew it he was snoring on his chest.

~~~

It was only ten minutes into the school day when everything went to shit for Geoff. He had been sitting in English class next to Ryan when the announcement went off.

“Hey Seniors! It’s that time of year again!” Barbara’s chipper voice rang out. “Prom will be May twenty-seventh, tickets will be on sale all next week during lunch, the cost is forty dollars and there is no theme! Hope to see all of you there!”

“Great,” Geoff huffed, turning to Ryan only to see his eyes practically light up. When he caught Geoff’s gaze though he looked away, almost guiltily and Geoff sighed. “It’s okay,” he mumbled.

He tried pushing it to the back of his mind until lunch time when it was all anyone was talking about. The girls at his table were either gushing about what they would wear, the ones with dates, or they were talking about who would take them. The guys were freaking out about who to take and what colors they would have to wear.

“I’m telling you Rye, orange is actually a really nice color,” Ray sang. Ryan was adamant though, shaking his head furiously.

“Orange is a shit color babe,”

“Well, it’s what I’ll be wearing,”

“We can’t even talk about this?”

“We are talking about it,” he stuck his tongue out.

“Mature,”

“Just give it a chance. I can prove it’s a great color,”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,”

“Fine,”

Meanwhile on the other side of the table Lindsay and Meg were practically squealing about the colors they could wear to work with their hair since Meg recently dyed hers blue and Lindsay bleached hers. Michael was just watching them, mainly Lindsay, with a stupid grin on his face and next to them were Jack and Caiti holding hands and gazing at each other adoringly.

Jesus this was fucking stupid. Even Gavin and Caleb sitting cross the cafeteria were talking about it! Well… Geoff wasn’t positive of that one but they looked like they were with how they were looking at each other.

“Geoff,” Meg spoke up when she noticed he was the only one not talking. “I’ll go with you,” she offered.

Geoff smiled at her but shook his head. “Thank you, but I’m not going with anyone that’s not Griffon,”

“Okay,” she nodded. She didn’t seem upset so Geoff didn’t feel too bad.

“I’m sorry,”

“Don’t be, that’s sweet,”

Jack shot him a look but said nothing, turning back to Caiti. She tilted her head at him, looking between the two but Jack just shook his head. It was too hard to explain right now anyway.

A few days later when Jack was driving her home from school she stopped and turned to him, eyes narrow. “What’s going on?”

“What?”

“You’ve been kinda… hostile lately with Geoff,”

It was true, ever since last Friday night at Geoff’s house the two hadn’t really talked and whenever Caiti or anyone would mention his best friend around Jack he tended to get snappy.

“This Griffon thing is just really annoying,”

“Jack,” she scolded. “That’s not fair,”

“No, what’s not fair is Griffon playing all these mind games with him,”

“You told her you’d be there for her,”

“Cause I thought she’d get her shit together by now,” he sighed. “Now she’s just a cat toying with a mouse,”

“Do you want me to talk to her?”

“You haven’t yet?”

“I didn’t wanna push her, it’s complicated,”

“You might be the only one that can get a real answer at this point,” he shrugged.

“Okay, I’ll try but you’ve gotta be easy on them both. If they’ve been broken up this long then maybe there is more to the story,”

“Okay, I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,”

“I love you,”

“Love you too,” she kissed him and ducked out of the car.

She walked into her room to find Griffon already sitting on her bed with her headphones on, doing homework most likely. She didn’t really go out anymore since the break up and while she was always with some group at school she never let it go beyond those walls. She looked up and nodded at Caiti when she dropped her bag on her bed and took her sweatshirt off. She took her headphones off to greet her but Caiti cut her off, she was on a mission after all.

“What are you doing?” she demanded, voice sharp.

“Studying?” Griffon tried, eyebrows furrowed.

“You know what I mean,” Caiti said, and the way Griffon’s eyes widen told her she knew exactly what she meant.

“Caiti, don’t start. Please,” she sighed.

“Someone has to. It’s been three months, what are you waiting for?”

“I’m not waiting for anything,”

“You sure as hell are. Otherwise you’d be with him again because we all know that you want him just as much as he still wants you,”

“I don’t love him anymore,” she stated easily. Caiti’s mouth dropped open and her eyes narrowed, but then she stopped and really looked at Griffon, guilty and scared.

“That’s bullshit,”

“It’s true. I don’t love Geoff anymore,” she whispered.

“You say that, but the way you say his name makes me think otherwise,” she stated, “I’m not dumb, or blind,” she smirked. Griffon gaped like a fish while she searched for words, but she found none, because maybe it wasn’t so bad to talk to Caiti. She loved her like a sister and maybe she could help her sort her shit out. Hell, they lived together; she could tell her what she was thinking.

“I’m scared,” she whispered then, wrapping her arms around herself and staring ahead. Caiti sighed in relief and stood up, moving to sit next to her. She wrapped her arms around the bundle that was Griffon and pulled her into her chest.

“Of what? That it won’t work?”

“No, I’m scared because I know we will work,” she said, “I know it doesn’t make any sense, but Caiti, Geoff is the best thing that’s ever happened to me, and, I just… I don’t deserve him,” she whimpered.

“Why do you think that?”

“He loves me too much. He’d follow me through hell and back and what if one day he wakes up and realizes that he resents me,”

“You just said he loves you, like a lot. He can never hate you,”

“I need to be sure,”

“Well you broke his heart and he still wants to spend the rest of his life with you so I think you should be sure. I am for you,”

“What if it’s not enough? What if we settle down, have kids, and then he just… feels empty? Like he’s missing something. Do you never feel that way? The only one you’ve been with is Jack,”

“I love Jack, and he loves me and that’s the only reassurance I need,”

“I’ve never kissed anyone else,”

“Why?”

“What do you mean why? No one ever kissed me before Geoff,” she rolled her eyes.

“You could go up and kiss any person you want, you’re hot guys are into you. The world is your oyster, so why haven’t you kissed anyone,”

“When I met Geoff he was too shy to talk to me. I had never had that reaction before,” she smiled. “Every guy was so cocky, most of them just thought I was a lesbian because apparently I look like one,” she rolled her eyes. “But Geoff was cautious, and when we went on our first date he was too scared to hold my hand. The first time we had sex he kept stopping to ask if I was okay, if he was hurting me, he was just so perfect. I don’t need to kiss anyone else,”

“Then why are you still keeping up this whole charade,”

“Cause I don’t wanna walk up to him and tell him I’m ready to take him back only to have him tell me he met someone else,”

“Isn’t that what you broke up with him for? So he could meet someone else?”

“Well yeah, but I don’t actually want him to,”

“Girls,” Caiti groaned. “Look, the only thing I ever hear about is you; the only girl he ever looks at is you. Meg offered to go to prom with him and he said he won’t go with anyone but you. So I think it’s safe to say that all you need to do is reach out,”

“I- I can’t, it’s too embarrassing,”

“Leave it to Geoff to find the most stubborn girl around,”

“I know, but… I just, I can’t be sure,”

“Whatever you say,” Caiti said patting her on the leg and standing up.

“Where are you going?”

“I’m gonna go out with Jack,”

“Weren’t you just with him?”

“Yeah, but all this relationship talk is making me miss him,”

“See you later?”

“Of course,” Caiti winked. Griffon didn’t think anything of it.

Caiti however, bolted down the stairs and out the front door, nearly sprinting the entire distance to the bus stop around the corner. She knew where Jack would be right now, it was a Friday after all and it was Jack’s night.

While she didn’t agree with the break up from the very start it did make sense in a weird twisted sort of way. Griffon needed them _both_ to be sure about their future plans together and while Geoff promised her he was she needed to give him the chance to discover it. It was oddly sweet in a way, you know, if Geoff hadn’t spent days crying at home and she hadn’t shut herself away from her friends, other than that it was adorable.

The bus came exactly four minutes after she got there, standing next to a pregnant woman and an elderly man with a long grey beard. She let them both get on first, choosing to stand near the front of the bus since Jack’s house wasn’t far. She was practically bouncing where she stood and the pregnant woman noticed.

“What’s got you all jittery?”

“I’m going to save my best friends relationship,” she said proudly.

“That’s very nice of you,” she nodded approvingly.

“Just doing what’s best for everyone,” she grinned.

“Well with that attitude I bet you’ll do it,”

“Thanks,”

At the next stop Caiti was jumping off the bus and running down the sidewalk, she felt good, she felt confident about this and she knew Geoff would enjoy the news as well. Her lungs were on fire and every limb in her body was begging her to stop but she didn’t slow down until she was in Jack’s neighborhood, counting numbers on mailboxes until she hit _23._ She walked up the front steps and waited to catch her breath before knocking, grinning at Mrs. Pattillo when she opened the door.

“Hi sweetheart,” she beamed pulling her into a hug.

“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m excellent, you?”

“Perfect,”

“Good to hear, the boys are downstairs, I’m sure they won’t mind you interrupting,”

“Thank you,” she opened the basement door and practically jumped down the steps, stumbling down the last one and slamming both her hands into the wall to avoid injury. When she looked up there were six pairs of eyes watching her concerned.

“What are you doing here?”

“Are you okay?”

“How’d you get here?”

“I’m here to see Geoff,” she panted. He stood up and walked towards her and she met him halfway, putting her hands on his shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. “She misses you, she loves you, she needs you,” she said, so quickly it sounded like a jumbled mess to the others but not Geoff.

“Caiti,” he started.

“I talked to her, she wants you back,”

“I don’t know about this,”

“What do you mean you don’t know!” she yelled causing him to wince. “I took the bus and ran here to tell you that your girlfriend wants you back and you stand here and say you aren’t sure?”

“It’s been a long time,”

“Three months is hardly a long time,” she argued. He was supposed to be happy about this, he was supposed to run up the stairs and climb into his car, speed off into the sunset and get his girl.

“I don’t know what I’d even say to her,”

“The truth? That you love her? That you’re sure about her? She broke up with you because she needed you to be positive that you wanted her in your future, and you are. Tell her that, make her see it,”

“I told her that the day we broke up,”

“She couldn’t believe you then because you hadn’t actually tried to see a life without her,”

“She’s right,” Gavin said quietly earning the middle finger from Geoff and Ray slapping his hand over his mouth.

“What do I do then? I need something romantic,”

“We can plan something,” Ryan offered but Caiti shook her head vigorously.

“You two have waited long enough to get your heads out of your asses so fucking do it,” she snapped. “Go over there, tell her everything you’ve ever wanted to say to her and kiss her again because this is exhausting,”

“Preach,” Jack mumbled.

“I-“ he stopped and looked around at the others before looking back to the short brunette in front of him. “Will you come with me?” he asked, turning back to the guys, “all of you?”

“Of fucking course,” Michael grinned. “I’m a sucker for a good reunion,”

“This’ll be mental,” Gavin agreed.

They were already standing to put their shoes on when Geoff turned back to Caiti, pulling her into a tight hug. “You’re sure?” he whispered, felt her nod against his neck and let out a sigh of relief. “Thank God,”

“Ready?” Jack asked a second later, dropping his hand on Geoff’s shoulder. The others were already filing up the staircase and out to the cars, but Jack turned to Caiti and smiled. “Actually, can you give us a second?”

“Okay, but hurry up,”

“They waited three months they can wait two more minutes,” he rolled his eyes. She laughed and rushed up the stairs with Jack’s keys to start the car. Geoff turned to him curiously then. “I’m sorry about what I said before, it was harsh and I was wrong,”

“No, one of you needed to say it and yeah it worked out well but if it didn’t those words would’ve really helped me out,”

“I’m happy for you,”

“Thanks Jack,”

“I love you man and the double dates from this are gonna be awesome,”

“You know it,” he beamed pulling the ginger into a hug. They pulled apart and went upstairs to join the others who were already backing out onto the road, Ryan and the lads in one car, Caiti waiting for Jack and Geoff in another.

The drive was short and full of loud music and dancing while Geoff went to win back his girl, but something in the back of his mind was poking at him. _What if it actually doesn’t work?_ But he shoved it away because he didn’t really know much about fate and soul mates and that bullshit, but he believed thoroughly that Griffon and him were set in stone and he was gonna prove it. The only real problem with this plan was that well… he didn’t really know what the fuck to say. The truth, he knew that, but where did he begin. He didn’t have much time to figure it out though because soon they were pulling up in front of her house and stepping out of the car. He was gonna have to wing it.

They sent Caiti out to get things rolling. She walked up to the door and turned back, winking at Geoff before flinging the door open and calling out.

“Griffon, there’s someone outside for you!”

“Who?” the blonde asked emerging from their room.

“See for yourself,” Caiti urged, turning and running back out the door. Griffon rolled her eyes and followed her energetic friend, hoping this wouldn’t be weird.

When she walked outside she was met with the sight of her ex-boyfriend and all their friends standing around two cars. Each of them looked anxious, some smiling, some blank, but it was the look of pure joy on Geoff’s face that made her freeze and her breath hitch. It had been so long since she had seen that smile.

“Griffon O’Connel, it has been three months, four days and two hours since you broke my heart, and every minute of those three months, four days and two hours has been spent wanting you,” he began, speaking loud and clear. She could already feel tears creeping up on her. “I want you when I’m sleeping, I want you when I’m eating, I want you when I’m in class, Griffon, I just want you,” he said stepping closer. “When I think about the rest of my life,” he said suddenly, pausing to think, “you are the only thing I see; you are the only person I wanna wake up next to everyday. No offense,” he called back to his other friends, Gavin and Ray ‘booed’ while Ryan said a quick ‘none taken’ and everyone else just chuckled.

“You may have needed to experience other people,” he told her, stepping closer, there was a little over ten feet between them now, but God, Griffon wanted it to be zero so badly. The words stung but Geoff’s eyes held no anger towards her and it made things so much easier. “But the day I met you in freshmen year art class was the day I chose you. I choose you Griffon, if we all lived a million lives, I would choose you every single one of em,” he had been walking while he spoke, now standing not more than two feet from her, close enough to touch.

She couldn’t hold back her tears anymore, letting them slide down her cheeks while she stared at him. She was such an idiot, she couldn’t believe she let herself waste three months, three months, four days and two hours to be exact, without this man, this incredible beautiful man. She couldn’t believe she was so scared of actually being happy, but what she didn’t believe most was that he was still here, and that he still picked her after all this time.

“And Griffon,” he said softly, reaching out to brush the tears from her cheeks, “you chose me too. You picked me when you could’ve had literally anyone you wanted, because let’s face it, you and I are not from the same league at all, you’re on a whole different level, and you still picked me,” he opened his mouth to go on but stopped to glare when Jack yelled ‘he’s right you know’ causing everyone to laugh. “Griff, please tell me that you’ll still choose me too,” he whispered opening his arms. “Because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to pick someone else,”

“You’re an idiot,” she choked out, lunging into him and wrapping her arms around his neck, crying into his shoulder. “Of course I still choose you,” she told him, laughing when he spun her around while everyone around them cheered.

“Damn,” Caiti grinned from her spot next to Jack, “I’m good,”

“Yeah you are,” her boyfriend agreed, placing a kiss against her temple, pulling her closer.

Geoff felt like he was in his own little world, staring into the blue eyes he had fallen in love with so long ago. He felt like he was on top of the world with her back in his arms. _Not so bad for winging it,_ he thought.

“You know,” Griffon started, running her hands up Geoff’s chest, “my parents are gone until tomorrow,”

“Oh?” he smirked.

“Yeah, and we really should talk, and… catch up,” she smirked.

“Sounds good to me,” he shrugged, turning back to flip his friends the bird and letting himself be dragged to the door.

“Gross!” Gavin called after them, laughing when they slammed the door.

“Looks like I’ll be staying at Lindsay’s,” Caiti rolled her eyes, digging her phone from her pocket.

“I’ll drive you,” Jack told her, “you guys good to take Ryan’s car?” he asked turning to Gavin and Michael.

“Yeah man,” the redhead answered dragging his Brit towards the other car.

“See you later,” Jack called as they all climbed in

~~~                               

“Orange really isn’t that bad,” Ray said for the fifth time, breaking up their kiss to try and prove again why Ryan should pick his color instead of grey.

“Oh?” Ryan smirked, leaning in to kiss him again. He’d let Ray play his little game, try to seduce him into a color for prom and it might work, the color was already growing on him, but he needed to at least verify the shade.

“Mhm,” Ray pulled away with a little pop. “It’s a great one, good for both of our skin tones,” he went back in. Ryan hummed against his lips, enjoying the weight of Ray on top of him before he pushed him back.

“Nice try,” he murmured, rolling out from under him and going to his computer desk.

“Oh come on,” Ray sighed. “I really like orange,”

“And I’m happy for you babe, but we need to make these decisions together,”

“Then let’s go look at colors,” Ray suggested, standing to take Ryan’s hand and tug him to the door.

“If you haven’t forgotten we still haven’t even asked each other to prom,”

“So there’s a chance I’ll get to go with Kerry?” Ray shot back.

“No,” Ryan said immediately, pulling Ray to sit on his lap.

“Then let’s go look at colors,”

“Maybe I want a little romance,” Ryan shrugged. “Ever think about that my little prince?”

“I’m not calling you king,”

“Not asking you too,”

“Fine, you want romance. Don’t plan anything for tomorrow night,”

“Okay,” Ryan smirked, standing up and walking them both back over to the bed.

It took Ray four hours to figure out what to do since he wasn’t the one that usually planned these things. Ryan was always better at making situations romantic, but now the pressure was on and he was determined to make Ryan blush.

He begged his mom to take him to the store the next morning and spent two hours wandering the aisles before stopping and starting to pick out different colors. His mom asked him repeatedly on the way home what he got and how he was going to use it but he knew she wouldn’t approve of his plan so he just replied with ‘I don’t know.’

When Ryan arrived two hours later Ray’s mom was halfway out the door, stopping to kiss him on the cheek and tell him to have fun and behave.

“Hi,” Ray whispered from the top of the staircase.

“Hey,”

“Wanna watch a movie? I’ve got pizza on the way?”

“Sure,”

They got halfway through _Lady and the Tramp_ before Ryan paused it and declared they try a spaghetti kiss.

“With what spaghetti babe?”

“Pizza?”

“Jesus this is gonna go wrong,”

“I’ll clean it up,” he swore.

And that’s how they ended up rolling on Ray’s living room carpet with pizza sauce staining their shirts and jeans, pepperoni stuck to the floor and cheese molded to the wall.

“She’ll kill us,”

“We can fix it,” Ryan laughed, rolling onto Ray. “But we’ve still got time right?”

“Yeah, but the longer we wait the wor-“ he was cut off by Ryan’s lips coming down on his, soft and playful. He tried to go with it but before it got too heated there was something slimy being shoved into his face and he gasped when he pulled away to see Ryan grinning deviously with a slice of pizza in his hand.

“You’re a dick,” he said, lunging at him and trying to wrestle the food from his grip.

“You won’t win,” he sang, flipping them both over.

“Not unless I play dirty,” he grinned, shoving his hands up Ryan’s shirt to tickle his bare skin. The blond was off him in seconds, rolling away after swatting his hands off and standing. Ray followed after him, circling the coffee table like a predator.

“Don’t start something you can’t finish,”

“I plan on finishing,” Ray winked, earning a flustered splutter of noise from his boyfriend. Before Ryan could even register it Ray was grabbing the last slice from the box and flinging it at his face. There was a wet _splat_ before it slid slowly down, leaving a trail of cheese and tomato sauce on his cheek and down his neck before it fell off.

“You’re screwed,” Ryan warned but Ray was already hauling it out of the living room. He took the steps up to his room two at a time, not bothering to look back since he could hear Ryan bounding up behind him. He managed to get in his room but before he could shut the door Ryan was pushing it open with one hand, stepping in and blocking any exits for Ray who looked at him sheepishly and smiled. “Cute,” he glared, grabbing Ray and rubbing his cheek against his.

“Gross!”

“We swap spit daily you can handle my sauce,”

“Ryan!” exclaimed horrified.

“Yeah, that did come out a bit wrong,” he laughed.

“Only a lot,”

“I mean…”

“Don’t say another fucking word,” Ray warned. “Actually, now that we’re here come on,” he said excitedly, pulling Ryan towards his closet and flicking the light on before closing the door.

“What’s going on?” Ryan asked suspiciously, pushing against the hangers and clothes that were sticking them in their sides.

“Wait for it,” Ray grinned, reaching over to turn the light off and wait for their eyes to adjust. Ryan gasped when he noticed the glowing plastic stars stuck to the ceiling and walls, a bunch of them were in a circle on the back of Ray’s closet door, surrounding the words _Will you go to prom with me?_ in neon green.

“That’s adorable,” Ryan cooed, pinching Ray’s slick and gooey cheek.

“Shut up and answer the very nicely written question,”

“Yeah, is that a stencil?”

“No!”

“It totally is!”

“I mean, it came with the paint,”

“Liar,”

“I’m trying to woo you here,”

“Oh, I’m thoroughly wooed,”

“Good,”

“And yes, I will go to prom with you,”

“Can we wear orange?”

“We can look into it,” he rolled his eyes.

“Good, but uh, don’t tell my mom about this she’ll kill me for painting on my door,”

“Not a word,”

Moments later they both froze when they heard the front door open and keys drop into the tray by the door. That meant Ray’s mom was home and they had yet to clean their earlier mess.

“Ray!” they heard a second later and both had to stifle their giggles.

“Fuck,” Ryan whispered.

“Coming!” Ray yelled flinging the door open.

~~~

“Yeah, you’re a genius, a real saint,” Jack said not looking up from whatever he was doing on his plate. He hadn’t made eye contact with Caiti at lunch for twenty minutes but he was still listening to every word she said so she didn’t snap yet. She was curious though since he put a menu up between them and made sure she couldn’t see whenever she tilted her head or shifted in her seat.

“I’m just saying, I should have a relationship advice blog,” she continued. Since Geoff and Griffon got back together she had been on a high horse, not being able to really shut up about it, which was expected and no one minded since three months of suffering were over for everyone.

“That would actually be pretty cool, I’d read it,” he shrugged.

“Would you ask questions anonymously when you’re too scared to ask me?” she laughed.

“Every day, I’ll be your most dedicated reader and asker,”

“I’m sure,”

“No really, I can find out everything I’ve ever wanted to know just by asking you so that way I’ll never be worried about anniversary presents or I can figure out if you’re mad at me whenever I fuck up,”

“Maybe I shouldn’t make a blog then, it seems like it would give you too much power,”

“No, you should do it,” he finally looked up at her and grinned, knocking the sign over and twisting his plate around so she could read it. _Prom?_ it read in broken up French fries.

“It took you almost a half hour to do that?” she raised a brow.

“Hey! I needed to concentrate and you made it difficult,”

“You kept up pretty well,”

“Exactly, so I needed more time,”

“You’re cute,”

“Is that a yes?”

“Hold on,” she answered, putting the menu back up and grabbing the ketchup bottle next to the napkin dispenser at their table. It was sloppy and she got a lot more ketchup on her fries then she meant to but when she pushed the menu down to show him her art work, a simple _yes_ in red goo he beamed like the sun at her.

“I love you,”

“I love you too,”

“They probably hate us here,” he commented looking around at the diner they spent most of their time in.

“Nah, they think we’re cute, you especially since they always give you some crazy discount,”

“Cause I always pay and they feel bad for me,” he joked.

“Definitely, that’s why they give me extra fries and barbeque sauce,”

“It’s cause they can’t be sexist,”

“Right,” she rolled her eyes. He grabbed her hand across the table and brought it up to his mouth, kissing it lightly. “Why don’t I pay this time, since it’s such a burden and then we can go back to your house?” she offered with a wink.

“No, I’ve got it,” he said dropping a few bills on the table and taking her hand. He waved goodbye to the hostess at the door and the woman behind the counter, beaming as he and Caiti got into his car.

“What a gentleman,” she giggled.

“Only for you,”

“You mean you make Geoff pay?”

“He’s my perfect gentleman,”

“Good to hear,”

“Come on, we’re wasting daylight,”

“We don’t need daylight,” she smirked.

“You’ll be the death of me,”

~~~

For the most part Lindsay and Michael were still in the puppy dog stage of their romance. Sometimes they got in small arguments or would get annoyed at each other, but mostly they just lay in bed and kissed for hours on end. Like if their lips weren’t constantly attached the other might slip away.

This was one of those times.

They had only been at Lindsay’s house for an hour but they had spent over half of it attached by the lips, hands roaming sides and tangling in hair. Lindsay kept pulling away to breathe but Michael felt like he couldn’t get enough of her, finding her neck and kissing his way up to the skin just below her ear. She was shivering against him and retaliated just as fast. When her mom finally called them down for dinner both of their lips were red, necks covered in dark bruises and hair a mess.

They took a few minutes to clean themselves up before walking downstairs for one of the most awkward dinners ever. Luckily no one commented and they made small talk about school assignments, and the upcoming prom, which Michael still hadn’t asked her to. They spent the rest of it talking about college options for Lindsay and future employment for both of them before they were released back to her room.

“That wasn’t weird at all,” Lindsay rolled her eyes.

“I like your parents, they’re chill,”

“You only say that cause they haven’t kicked you out for nearly deflowering their little girl,”

“I have more respect for you than that,”

“I know,” she smiled, pecking him on the lips. “Should we watch a real movie or something now? Since we never actually do?”

“Mario Party?” he asked.

“It’s on,”

Whenever he played this game with one of his friends it ended with silence and glaring for an hour before they agreed that it wasn’t cheating and they still loved each other and it was okay. Now he was playing it with Lindsay who was arguably better than him and he refused to let her win. Which meant he was gonna have to play dirty. He waited until the middle of a battle mini game when he knocked the controller out of her hands and beat her character into lava.

“Hey!” she cried, shoving him aside and sitting on top of him.

“I can’t see the screen,” he whined.

“You’re a cheater,” she deadpanned.

“You were winning,”

“Exactly!”

“Don’t be upset,” he laughed. “You won in spirit but according to the screen now I have one more star than you,”

“Ass,” she rolled her eyes, but he knew she wasn’t mad. She made to get off of him but he threw his controller aside and grabbed her face, pulling her down to kiss him.

“Remember when we were gonna play a game since we never actually do what we say we are?” he asked.

“I do,”

“I like that things never go as planned when you’re around,” he whispered.

“Me too,” she grinned, leaning down to kiss him again.

They took their time this time around, kissing slowly and keeping their hands gently on top of each other’s faces and running through reach other’s hair. “Did I mention that I really like you as a blonde?”

“Maybe once or twice,” she pretended to think about it,”

“Well I’ll say it again; I really love your blonde hair,”

“Thanks,”

“So hey,” he said before she could lean down to kiss him again. “I realized at dinner that I’ve never properly asked you to prom,”

“You had to ask?” she tilted her head at him.

“Well, it’s at least polite,”

“So ask,” she shrugged.

“You don’t want some grand promposal?” he had seen tons of other kids around school already this week with weird antics to ask their significant other to prom. One of them hijacked the speaker system during lunch even and the girl they asked ran out of the cafeteria laughing when her boyfriend announced that the principal had just walked in and she’d have to bail him out. Michael would never go to that extreme, but it did get some ideas rolling.

“I don’t need some big romantic thing, you know I’m going with you, so it doesn’t really matter to me,”

“If you’re sure,” he leaned up and kissed her before pulling back and rolling out from under her. He got down on one knee in front of her bed and grabbed her hand. “Lindsay Tuggey, will you go to prom with me?”

“See, that was romantic,” she laughed, nodding and leaning in to kiss him.

“Sweet,” he grinned just before their lips met.

~~~

Gavin would’ve liked to think that he and Caleb would be thrilled with prom coming up, getting to pick out matching colors and plan cute ways to ask each other, but when it came down to it, Gavin would be fucking wrong.

They had been having some problems for a few weeks now. Ever since Gavin didn’t say it back. Those dreaded three words. And of course no one ever meant it when they said ‘take your time, you don’t need to say it if you don’t mean it’ because apparently Caleb wasn’t actually expecting Gavin to take him seriously.

They hadn’t talked much about prom other than the fact that they were going together. So Gavin took it upon himself to go buy them matching ties and surprise Caleb with them because obviously that would prove to him that he was in this relationship for real. Minus the love part of course.

God he was a shitty person.

He got to Caleb’s door and knocked, smiling at Mrs. Denecour when she answered the door. “Hi sweetie!”

“Hi ma’am, is Caleb home?”

“Yes, he’s upstairs working on some project,”

“Oh, is this a bad time?”

“No, he and his partner should be done soon, they’ve been working for days,” she laughed. “Must be one crazy history project,”

Gavin smiled awkwardly at her and nodded, making his way up the stairs.

He was in Caleb’s history class.

There was no project.

He squeezed his eyes shut and breathed in deeply, pushing the door open to find exactly what he was expecting.

He should’ve known though, Caleb had been distant the last few days, pulling away whenever they’d get too close. His kisses were never as involved and his touches didn’t linger, fingers brushing the skin under Gavin’s shirt when they stood off of whoever’s bed they were in that day.

See, he had been lucky the first time it happened because Ryan was the one that saw it. Gavin didn’t actually need to see his boyfriend with someone else; he just had to imagine it which he thought was worse.

But no, this definitely was.

There was a red head in bed with Caleb, shirt off and neck covered in dark bruises. They both looked up when the door opened, both of their faces starting to match the other boy’s hair.

Gavin wasn’t really shocked.

“Gavin!” Caleb exclaimed eyes wide. “What are you doing here,”

“I wanted to show you the ties I got for prom, but you’re busy so I’ll just…” he said slamming the door behind him and rushing down the stairs. Caleb’s mom was in the living room, making to stand up but Gavin was out the door before she could reach him.

“Are you okay?” she called but the words fell on deaf ears.

Gavin was halfway down the sidewalk, towards the first turn on his walk home when the door opened and slammed behind him making him start jogging away. Caleb was big on sports though and caught him in seconds.

“Gavin wait!” he panted, hand on the Brit’s arm to keep him there.

“I shouldn’t really be surprised should I? I mean, trusting you again was my fault and I’ll be glad to let my friends say ‘I told you so,’ but this is pathetic,” Caleb straightened up, face hardening.

“What’s pathetic is the fact that you’re in love with a straight guy, and you feel that you have the right to be mad at me for this,”

Gavin felt like he had been slapped in the face. He thought he was getting better at hiding that little problem but apparently he wasn’t even close.

“I do have the right! We’re in a relationship Caleb,”

“You cheated too,” he said slowly. Gavin waited patiently for more to come and after a long moment it did. “Not physically, cause that wouldn’t hurt nearly as bad as this does, but emotionally by being in love with someone else. You invested your time and energy into someone else while you were with me and that hurts,”

“You know, I wish people would stop using that against me because I’m fucking trying okay! I’m trying to get over him,”

“It’s hard when he’s the only thing you’ll allow to make you happy,”

“That’s not true,”

“You’ve never been happy with me unless we were discussing something about Michael, and he’s the only one you get genuinely upset at for stupid things,”

“Who are you to speak to me about proper relationship etiquette? You cheated on me both times we’ve been together,”

“I’m sorry!” Caleb exploded. “But you’re the one that makes this so difficult,”

“Oh you cheating is my fault? Go on,”

“You make being with you really hard. I can’t have a real conversation with you because if we aren’t talking about Michael you zone out,”

“We’re having a real conversation right now! Our last one,” he added with a glare.

“Gavin,” he sighed. “I’m sorry,”

“You know, you’re right,” he started slowly, “I do love Michael, always will. And he may be straight and I don’t have a real shot, but he is still a better person than you are,”

“That’s rich,”

“If he thought he was with someone that didn’t want to be in the relationship he’d break up with them instead of sleep around to feel better,”

“You know what? Have fun chasing after someone that will never love you,”

“I will!” he snapped, turning away from his now ex-boyfriend and marching up the street.

Maybe he wasn’t the shitty one after all.

Okay, maybe a little.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just letting you know that the first little bit takes place a few days before the last part of chapter 31.

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Geoff and Griffon didn’t have sex the night they got back together.

Not that they’d actually tell their friends that because they all just assumed and it was easier than explaining every second of the three hour long conversation they really had. See, they had tumbled into her big empty house and made a beeline for her couch where they sat, gripping each other’s hands like if they let go they’d slip away and nothing would be real.

“I’m so sorry,” Griffon started when no one spoke and they heard all of their friend’s start their cars and disappear.

“Don’t be, it’s over now,”

“It shouldn’t have happened,”

“No, you were right to do it. We both needed to be sure,” he shrugged, but his heart was pounding out of his chest nearly and Griffon’s eyes were glassy and so bright and God, Geoff’s head was spinning.

They talked longer, about the same things mostly. How Griffon couldn’t stop blaming herself and how boring her life had been without Geoff. They filled each other in on what they had missed and it turned out she had been accepted into her college and was already looking at apartments. Ones that Geoff could now look into as well.

Geoff filled her in on his life too, minus all the crying and bitching of course but she probably knew after dating him for three years.

He didn’t really know when they had moved from the couch to her bedroom, time seemed to blur after the first two hours and soon they were laying in bed, Geoff on his back and Griffon on her side, arm spread across his chest. She was using his as a pillow and eventually it went numb but he didn’t dare move it. He put his hand over hers where it was resting on his heart, thumb tracing nonsensical patterns into her skin. At that moment he would’ve given anything to stop time and just… be. Be in that moment with this girl forever, that’s what he really wanted. But before he knew it he was opening his eyes as sunlight crept in through the curtains and painted both of them in stripes of light and darkness. It was warm and Geoff’s skin felt sticky where he was coated in a light sheen of sweat, shirt sticking to his neck and back uncomfortable and jeans practically glued to his legs.

“Morning,” Griffon whispered when he started moving, slowly pulling his arm out from under her and stretching it out. Her eyes were still closed and she had lines on her skin where the texture of Geoff’s wrinkled t-shirt imprinted on her skin. Her hair was falling out of the bun she had put it into last night, bits and pieces sticking to her face and others standing straight up with static. She was perfect.

“Hi,” he smiled at her even though she couldn’t see it.

“I don’t even remember falling asleep last night,” she yawned before her nose scrunched up and carefully she peeked one eye open, shutting it just as fast against the harsh light.

“Me either,” he laughed leaning down to kiss the tip of her nose. She smiled before trying to open her eyes again, blinking rapidly to clear the sleepiness away.

“I love you,” she sighed when she finally met his eyes, hand wrapping around his bicep and squeezing lightly.

“I love you too,”

They enjoyed the warmth of the room for all of ten more seconds before Griffon was groaning and rolling to the edge of the bed, kicking her feet out to hit the floor before she sat up properly. Some of her makeup was smudged under her eyes and cheek, which she didn’t notice until she reached up to rub her eyes and winced at her hand covered in charcoal mascara.

“Your parents aren’t back until later right?”

“Right,”

“Then go shower and I’ll make us something to eat,” he offered. She beamed at him and pulled him into a chaste closed mouth kiss, because morning breath was not something she wanted to share right then, and stumbled over to her bathroom.

They spent the rest of their time together curled up on her couch watching shitty _Lifetime_ movies and predicting the ends before her parents were opening the door and stopping in their tracks at the sight in front of them. Her mom practically knocked Geoff over with the fierce hug she pulled him into and when her dad shook Geoff’s hand and told him he was glad to see him he meant it. It made Geoff feel… amazing.

The next few days were about the same. She moved her seat back in their classes and started holding his hand again under the table, stroking his thigh when he was freaking out on a quiz or getting distracted while trying to read his textbook. Everything was back to normal for the most part and Geoff couldn’t be more ecstatic.

They were taking things slow outside of the public eye though. As far as their friends and classmates knew they were more than back to normal, they were making up for lost time… which they were, but not in the bedroom like everyone assumed.

It wasn’t like they had changed all that much, they had both learned a lot about themselves and realized how in love they would always be with the other, but that wasn’t really different. Still though whenever they crashed into one of their rooms in a frantic kissing mess they ended up slowing down the second they hit the mattress. Fingers tracing skin again, like it was the first time they had been this close to each other, this intimate. When shirts were torn off bodies it wasn’t exactly with passion, but with curiosity. Like they had to rediscover every inch of each other, like when Geoff saw Griffon’s tattoos again, it felt like it was newer, like he had to follow every line of ink that marked her beautiful body and when Griffon wrapped one hand around the back of his neck and tugged him closer the other slid down his chest, stopping on his heart before sliding lower, feeling his tense muscles quiver under her touch, and then back up to rest on the stubble of his cheeks.

They’d stop before they went all the way, like they needed to save it again like they did the first time. Geoff knew it wouldn’t last long, but something about it made things better, like they didn’t get back together just because they were missing the physical intimacy, but because no one understood their silent words and looks. No one else knew that Griffon had a birthmark in the left dimple on her back and no one else knew that Geoff had a scar at the base of his neck from falling off a skateboard in middle school. Caiti didn’t know that Griffon had a tattoo on her hip, a small cat, from when her childhood cat passed away in junior year. And none of the guys knew that Geoff actually wanted to be the manager of a restaurant long before he started working at his uncle’s place.

They got each other in every simple and complex way. They were the only people that the other would ever let know them this way.

“Purple?” Griffon repeated for the third time.

“It’s your favorite color, why is this a shock?” he held the phone closer to his ear. He thought that she’d be pumped to wear purple this year since they went with blue last year which was one of his favorites.

“It’s my favorite color. I’ve just never seen you wear purple,”

“Which is why we should do it for prom,”

“Yeah sure,” Griffon laughed. “If you really want to,”

“I do,”

“We can start looking next week then,”

“Good, because you look fucking hot in purple and I’m thinking about putting purple in my hair for it,”

“Please don’t,”

“What? You don’t think I could pull it off?”

“Green is more your color,”

“Can I dye the whole thing?”

“Maybe after prom,” she offered.

“Then it’s settled, I’m graduating with green hair,”

“Can’t wait, hope your parents are cool with it,”

“Shit, I forgot about them,”

“Good luck,” she sang with a wide grin.

He opened his mouth to speak when his phone started vibrating against his cheek. When he pulled it back he saw Gavin’s face on the screen with two buttons saying _Answer and hang up_ or _Answer and hold._ “Griffon, Gav is calling me can I call you back?”

“Of course, love you,”

“Love you too,” he answered Gavin’s call and was met with a cacophony of angry yelling and cursing. “Nice to talk to you too Gavin, what’s going on?”

“He bloody did it again!” he wailed.

“Gavin, you saying that could literally mean anyone. Michael, Caleb, Ray even, who did what?”

“Caleb cheated again,” he snapped and Geoff saw red.

“What the fuck happened?”

And then Gavin went off. Talking a mile a minute and cursing Caleb every other sentence. Geoff had trouble keeping up for most of it but he got the gist. Finally Gavin stopped to take a breath and Geoff got the chance to speak.

“I’ll kill him. Like I’ll actually rip his face off,”

“Oh come on Geoff, you can’t say you didn’t see this coming. Go ahead; tell me you told me so,”

“Gavin, this isn’t an ‘I told you so’ moment. Aren’t you upset?” he asked softly.

“Of course I’m bloody upset,” he snapped. “I’m pissed, I was stupid to take him back,” his voice was choked and now that he had started to calm down Geoff could practically see him laying in bed with his eyes closed, trying to hold back tears.

“This isn’t your fault,”

“It’s it? I wasn’t a good boyfriend and he cheated on me. Both times we dated,”

“Cause he’s a shitty person and nothing he says is true,”

“It was though, all of it. I couldn’t be good to him because I’m still in love with Michael,” he sounded mad again.

“Gavin, that isn’t your fault either,”

“Geoff, the only person whose fault it could be is mine. I let people get to me every time. I let little touches and looks mean more than they should. I make everything out of nothing,”

“Then it’s also his fault for giving you mixed signals,”

“It’s my job to tell him to stop though and I haven’t. I like the attention. I like getting caught in my head and imagining a world where Michael loves me. And that’s my fault,”

“It’s not all in your imagination,”

“See! You can’t say that! You make it worse. You fuel it!”

“I’m sorry! Dammit, this is so fucked. What do you need Gavin?”

“I need to sleep, and pretend it never happened and when I wake up I won’t be in love with Michael,”

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen anytime soon,” Geoff said apologetically.

“I know,” Gavin was crying now. Geoff could hear it and his heart ached for his best friend. “I know it’ll never happen and I don’t know what to do anymore,”

“What do you want right now,”

“I want Michael, but he’s busy and I don’t want to be annoying,”

“He’d come to you if you asked,”

“I know, that’s another problem,”

“Gavin, sometimes it’s okay to be selfish with this stuff,”

“I can’t Geoff,”

“You need to be. If Michael being with you is gonna help you relax for a bit you need to call him,”

“I’ll text you later,” he said, hanging up before Geoff could answer.

He knew he wouldn’t be calling Michael so Geoff did what he thought was right and called the redhead himself.

~~~

Michael got there in ten minutes.

He had left Lindsay’s house in a blur of trying to get his shirt back on and slide into his shoes at the same time, bumping into the front door before pecking Lindsay one more time and taking off. And maybe he sped a little. Maybe a lot, but it’s not like he got caught so no one needs to know.

He didn’t knock on the door. He doesn’t really have to anymore. He kicked his shoes off and said hello to Gavin’s parents where they’re drinking tea at the table before starting up the stairs to their son’s room.

He didn’t knock on that door either.

He pushed it open slowly and took two steps into the dark room before his eyes fell on Gavin and his heart broke a little. He was sitting up like he knew Michael would be coming, and had his knees tucked up to his chest, arms wrapped securely around them. Michael could only really see from his nose up but the tip was red and his eyes were shiny.

“Gavin,” he breathed, moving slowly through the room and sitting next to him on the bed. Gavin didn’t move out of his little bundle though, just squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath before mumbling.

“It’s okay, I’m fine, you can go back to Lindsay,”

Michael wanted to cry himself. Gavin was always getting fucked over in love it seemed. And while Michael had seen him cry dozens of times, he had never seen it quite like this. Where every part of his body was begging Michael to stay but his words were telling him to leave and he was so confused.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said finally, wrapping his arms around Gavin and pulling him into his chest. He was stiff for a moment before slowly he let go of himself and let his arms come to rest around Michael, legs stretched out in front of them. “You know it’s not your fault right?”

“That’s what Geoff said,”

“Cause it’s true, and it’s what Ryan and Ray and Jack would all say too,”

“I know,”

“But you don’t believe it do you?”

“Not really,”

“Why would this be your fault?”

“Cause I wouldn’t sleep with him? Wouldn’t tell him I loved him?”

“So? You can’t force yourself to love someone,”

“But if I had just said it back-“

“You would’ve been lying which would’ve hurt both of you,”

“I hate when you’re right,”

“Cause I never really am,” Michael laughed, pulling Gavin a little closer.

“Do you love Lindsay?” Gavin asked after a beat.

Michael really had to think about that one. Lindsay was lovely, she kissed like a dream and she was beautiful. She was nearly the girl version of Michael, but love? He didn’t really think so.

“I don’t think I do, not yet at least,”

“Does she know?”

“I think so. We haven’t really talked about it,”

“That’s good, take your time, and don’t ruin it,”

“You didn’t ruin it,” Michael said quickly. “Don’t do that, you’re just gonna bum yourself out more. If you think about it you’ll make yourself mad. Let’s take a nap yeah?”

“Okay,”

They moved so they were laying comfortable on Gavin’s bed, arms hooked around each other and heads burrowed into necks. Michael rubbed Gavin’s back for what felt like hours but was only minutes and then Gavin’s breathing was finally evening out from sniffles and hiccups to calm puffs of air while he drifted off.

On the phone Geoff had sounded pissed, a little hysterical and really fucking sad. He told Michael everything and announced he would be going over to Ray’s to see him and Ryan which Michael advised him against multiple times but he seemed pretty set.

“Michael, I want to hurt him, if you had heard Gavin on the phone with me. It- I never wanna hear that again,”

“Geoff, if you guys go in there and beat the shit out of Caleb, Gavin will just get pissed. You can’t fight all his battles, it’ll ruin his conflict resolution skills or whatever,”

“Wow, that was deep as fuck,” Lindsay whispered underneath him. He hushed her and pressed the phone closer to his ear.

“He never loved Caleb and yeah this sucks but Caleb is a piece of shit and us doing nothing is the best thing,”

“I hate when you sound smart,” Geoff sighed. “Fine, but you need to get over there,”

“I’m going, I’m going,”

He hadn’t even apologized to Lindsay on his way out. Just told her that Gavin was in need of his best friend and he’d call her later. He didn’t really think anything of it until he had one hand buried in Gavin’s hair and the other running up and down his back and his phone buzzed in his pocket.

He pulled it out to find a text from Lindsay.

_Can you come back over when you’re done there? We need to talk._

Michael knew girls and this was not a good text to receive according to all his friends that had ever had a girlfriend. He didn’t answer her though. He shoved it back in his pocket and stayed with Gavin for another hour before he finally removed himself from the boy’s bed and pulled the blanket up to his shoulders. His parents had retreated to their room a long time ago so he didn’t need to worry about speaking to them on his way out and soon he was back on the road to Lindsay’s house.

He didn’t speed this time.

It took him twenty minutes to get there because of stop signs he might’ve run earlier and back roads he never really took. Something about this upcoming talk was already getting to him and he really wasn’t in a rush to have it.

Her parents weren’t home. Something about that made him uneasy though and finally he took a deep breath and pushed himself out of the car. She opened the door before he could even knock and motioned to the living room.

“How are you?” he asked, leaning over to kiss her but she stepped back and smiled. She didn’t meet his eyes though.

“Fine, let’s go sit,” he took her hand though, not letting her move an inch.

“Lindsay,” his voice was soft. “Just… what’s going on?” she looked over to the couch and back at Michael, taking a deep breath.

“You told me that I was your main priority,” she whispered, finally looking up at him. She didn’t look angry, just tired. “I just… I’m not Michael, and you can’t keep doing this,”

“Doing what? Comforting my best friend when he gets cheated on?” he was a little testy.

“No, you can’t keep pretending that that’s all he is,”

“What?”

“We can’t be together if you’re in love with someone else. It isn’t fair to me, or you or him,”

“Gavin? You think I’m… you think I have feelings for Gavin?” Why the fuck did everyone always assume that. He and Gavin were like Ray and Ryan… okay bad example. They were like Geoff and Jack, bros for life.

“Michael we’ve all been saying it and thinking it since first grade,”

“You’ve all been crazy since first grade,” he mumbled.

“Michael you don’t bail on your girlfriend constantly to be with someone that you don’t have feelings for,”

“Lindsay, you’re being ridiculous,”

“Michael, I think you’re being a bit stupid,” she said calmly.

“When have I ever ditched you for Gavin other than tonight for obvious reasons?”

“The party a few months ago, Gavin left and you took off. Laser tag, you were all over him and completely ignoring me,” she listed a few other times over the last few weeks and Michael cringed. Maybe he did ignore her a bit for Gavin, but that was his boi and it meant nothing.

“I just think you need to accept yourself,”

“I don’t know what to say Lindsay, he’s my best friend. I care about him like that, nothing more,”

“Whatever you say,”

“I’m not gay,”

“You don’t need to be gay to fall for your best friend,”

“That makes no sense at all,”

“Look, Michael, who makes you happy every fucking day?”

“Not Gavin,”

“But it is though. Even when you’re mad at him you talk nonstop about him and what he did to piss you off. He’s the only thing on your mind constantly,”

“Maybe you don’t know me as well as you think you do,” he snapped. He had to fix this. People had joked about it before and that was fine. It was a fucking joke! But now it was messing with his real relationships and that wasn’t okay.

“I’m just saying, if you treated me half as nicely as you treated Gavin I’d be expecting you to propose,”

“Jesus Christ Lindsay,”

“I don’t think of you any differently you know. You’re still one of my best friends, but us? It doesn’t work,”

“I-“ he really had nothing to say. She seemed pretty set in her mind and he knew he couldn’t fight her. So he turned and walked out the door without another word.

~~~

Gavin had woken up a few minutes after Michael left, wondering what was part of a dream and what wasn’t but then he remembered everything. It slammed into him like a truck and made his head spin.

He and Caleb had broken up. He had talked to Geoff and then Michael came over. But where was he now? He picked his phone up to see countless text messages from Ray and Ryan, mostly, _I’m so sorry._ And _I love you man._ Gavin didn’t answer. Now that he had some time to breathe he realized how okay he was going to be. Yeah it sucked right now because he made a mistake to trust the jackass again but he still had his friends. And Michael, he still had Micahel.

He played video games for a while to keep his mind occupied, but when one of his friends came online he was quick to change his settings, not wanting to deal with the coddling. He ran around and killed aliens and zombies in an assortment of games before his front door was creaking open and he was walking out of his room to investigate. His parents were asleep and he wasn’t expecting anyone else but when he looked down from the top of the stairs he saw a mop of red curls attached to a red face.

“Michael?”

“We’ve gotta talk man,”

Gavin hurried down the stairs and dragged Michael into the garage, stopping when they were between his parent’s cars. “What’s up?” Michael looked seriously pissed off and it was kind of freaking Gavin out.

“Lindsay broke up with me because of you,”

“What?” this had to be a dream. There was absolutely no way this was all happening today. He and Caleb had broken up only hours ago and now Michael and Lindsay? This couldn’t be happening. And what did he have to do with it? He almost laughed.

“She says that I’m in love with you,” Gavin’s breath caught. “And that people have been thinking this stuff for years,”

“What’s so bad about that?” Gavin asked quietly. He didn’t know what possessed him to say it, but it slipped out.

“I don’t know Gavin, maybe the fact that I’m not gay!” he snapped. Gavin stepped back and took a deep breath.

“Okay, and you’re here yelling at me because?”

“We’ve gotta find a way to stop this shit. Or I don’t know, you’ve gotta talk to Lindsay and sort this shit out,”

“How?”

“I don’t know, tell her that we don’t have feelings for each other and she’s being dumb,”

Gavin had two options here, but after the whole day of shit he had just experienced, from lying and being in a fantasy world for years he didn’t really feel like it anymore. And there were many ways this could’ve gone. Michael could’ve been completely fine with it and they could move on. He could freak the fuck out or he could magically confess his undying love for Gavin as well and they’d run into the sunset. The first option seemed most likely.

“What if I do?” he whispered finally.

“What?” Michael genuinely looked confused. Like he had no idea what Gavin meant.

“What if I do have feelings for you?” he pushed on. “What if I’ve had feelings for you for a long time?”

“Gavin… I- I don’t-“ what the hell do you answer to that? How do you politely tell your best friend that you’re not into him in any way shape or form?

“I know, you never have, I’m just saying. I won’t lie to Lindsay for you,”

“I- I don’t… I’m not- how long?” he settled on. This had to be a dream. There was no way Gavin was standing in front of him telling him he had a crush on him. He was just delusional.

“What?”

“How long have you felt this way?” the words hurt.

Gavin chuckled humorlessly, “practically since the day we met,” he was biting his lip and his eyes were glassy.

“So that’s… eleven years? Gavin, what the fuck?”

“I’m sorry,”

“Why tell me now?”

“Cause I’m tired of lying. I won’t lie to Lindsay for you and you deserve a reason why. I will talk to her, but if she asks me about my feelings I won’t tell her they’re fake,”

“Gavin,” Michael reached up to pinch the bridge of his nose. His eyes were screwed shut and he looked like everything was physically paining him. “Maybe, maybe we shouldn’t hang out for a bit,”

“Wait, Michael, just forget it, it’s not a big deal,” his eyes were desperate now, but for some reason Michael had trouble meeting them.

“Gavin, this is a very big deal.” His eyes were watery and Gavin wanted to reach out for him so fucking badly, but the way he was reacting told Gavin to keep his hands to himself.

“So that’s it? You find out I’m in love with you and you run away? Shut me out?” he was a little miffed to be honest, didn’t even care when Michael flinched at the words. He never really planned on telling Michael the truth, but he had hoped that if it ever came out they’d be able to sit down and really talk it out.

“Gavin, I don’t know what you want me to do here. I can’t just drop this and pretend it’s not bothering me,”

Gavin winced and Michael realized exactly how he sounded right now. This was probably why Gavin was so nervous when he first told him he was gay, because Michael was like a time bomb and he didn’t want him to go off over this.

“You should’ve told me sooner,” he sighed.

“What would it have mattered? You’re straight,”

“We could’ve just talked it through, but you’ve been lying to me for fucking years,”

“Michael,” Gavin cried voice thick. “I had to! I didn’t want to ruin our friendship,” he paused, looking around the garage around them, anywhere but at Michael. “But it appears I already have,”

“Gavin, I think… we need space,” Michael moved around him to the door. Gavin didn’t bother following him, didn’t even look at him again and God Michael couldn’t breathe. This was like a punch in the throat. Gavin was in love with him? For how fucking long? Nothing was making sense. He didn’t act like it, right? They had been friends.

Gavin listened for the click of the door before he fell to the ground and started sobbing.

~~~

“He’s a dick,” Tina said matter-of-factly the next day at lunch. By second block everyone had known what happened the night before. Gavin had called Geoff panicking at one in the morning and Lindsay had apparently called Meg and from there they all pieced it together.

“I agree,” Meg nodded. “This is pathetic, he’s a jackass,”

“Meg,” Gavin scolded. “That’s not fair,”

“I’m confused,” Barbara cut in. “He just walked out? Like it was nothing?”

“He needed space,” Gavin shrugged. “Its fine, you guys don’t need to be upset,”

“We care about you, stupid,”

“Can we just start talking about something else? Something happier?” He really was glad that he had supportive and amazing friends but after crying for a whole day and most of the morning he really didn’t wanna keep going. He needed to breathe at some point and bashing Michael when he wasn’t there to defend himself wasn’t fair. Meg reached out and dropped her hand over his, squeezing gently and smiling at him.

“You’re perfect Gavin Free,” she whispered.

The library was rather lively for lunch time and Gavin was thankful, it made it easier to forget the things rolling around his mind and focus on senseless conversations around him. And fortunately his friends also started to move on, Barbara and Arryn started discussing prom colors and Tina and Meg started arguing about video games. Gavin felt oddly calm at the moment.

Until of course the girls at his table all got silent and Gavin followed their eyes to the entrance of the library where Lindsay was standing, scanning the area before her eyes fell on their table and she started walking over.

“I’ll fight her,” Meg whispered but Gavin shook his head. She didn’t look angry as she approached; she even looked a little… cheerful.

“Hey guys,” she smiled, mostly at Gavin.

“I’m sorry,” he blurted shocking everyone. “I- you’ve got it all wrong,” he said quickly. “You should take him back, we don’t… he’s not,”

“Gavin,” she waved him off, still smiling. “It really is okay,”

“No, it’s not. He liked you… a lot,”

She looked thoughtful for a moment before she finally took a seat, right across from him. “Gavin, do you know what love looks like?” she sounded curious.

“I mean, yeah?”

“You see it every day right?”

“Yeah,” he nodded. The other girls were silent, waiting for her point and she seemed to realize that none of them were following.

“I see it too. When Geoff looks at Griffon, and Ray at Ryan, Caiti at Jack,” she paused, smiling. “But I’ve never seen it as strong as when Michael looks at you, and maybe he hasn’t realized it yet. He was always the last one to finish a test,” she winked, “but he does love you Gavin and I can’t be in a relationship with someone whose heart is occupied,”

Meg sniffled next to him and they all turned to look at her, “I hate him right now but dammit she’s right,” she huffed.

“I talked to Griffon this morning and she told me what happened last night,” she said apologetically, thumb stroking the back of Gavin’s hand. “He’ll come around okay?”

“I- okay?”

“I’ve gotta get to class, the third floor is far away,” she said standing up. She made to turn before pausing and leaning across the table to kiss Gavin on the forehead and then walked away.

No one said much after that.

Meanwhile in the cafeteria at the usual table things were pretty… tense.

Michael couldn’t take one bite without Geoff’s calculating gaze following his fork all the way to his mouth and bake to his tray or his hand reaching out to grab his drink. Ray and Ryan were unnaturally silent and Jack, Caiti and Griffon were trying too hard to act like they didn’t care.

When he set his drink down and got a little ‘mhm’ from Geoff he finally rolled his eyes and looked at him. “What?”

“You know what,”

“Geoff,”

“Michael, you’re a fucking jackass,”

“Why?”

“You’ve completely abandoned him,”

“And it’s okay for him to completely spring this shit on me? I need to breathe for a minute and you’re making that kind of hard,”

“I thought better of you,”

“Excuse me?”

“I didn’t think you’d be a homophobe,”

“Homopho- Geoff, look around this table, how many people that sit here every day are gay or bisexual? Nearly half, and how many of them do I love unconditionally? All of them,” he glared. “You guys aren’t being fair,”

“What’s not fair is you going off the way you did. It took him years to tell you this and look how you responded,”

“How long did all of you know?” he snapped. “And not one of you told me; none of you got him to tell me sooner so we could’ve sat down and talked about it,”

“We didn’t need you freaking out like you are now!”

“I’m freaking out because it’s been years and we could’ve handled this sooner! We could’ve talked it out but when his boyfriend cheats on him and my girlfriend dumps me and then I find out that my best friend is in love with me? It’s a lot to take in for one day so excuse me if I need some space,”

“Would you have?” Ray asked quietly, when Geoff and Michael’s heated eyes found him he shrunk back into Ryan’s side. “Talked about it I mean?”

“I would’ve liked to, if it wasn’t eleven years of lying!”

“He wasn’t ready!”

“Oh please, he had plenty of time,”

“That’s not how it works,”

Michael was tired of talking about this really. He stood up, chair scraping loudly across the floor. “I’m gonna go to class,” he said shortly. “Don’t act like this is all my fault,”

“Boy, Gavin sure does know how to pick em,” Geoff muttered but Michael still heard.

He really didn’t want to see where they were coming from. They had to fucking try and see where he was coming from. Every touch and look apparently meant more to Gavin than it did to Michael and he had no idea. God he would’ve talked about it. Would’ve set some sort of boundary because apparently he must’ve been doing something for it to continue this long. Must’ve been confusing Gavin as well and that was a lot to take in and he really wasn’t in the mood to analyze every second of their friendship for eleven years right now.

When the bell rang and everyone filed into his history class he was ashamed to admit that he let out a breath of relief when Gavin went to the back of the room and didn’t even look at him. Thankfully Ryan looked at him when he walked in and didn’t actually look mad, so maybe he had someone on his side. Caleb walked in late and Michael’s gut twisted. This was pretty much all his fault. If he hadn’t have cheated again then Michael wouldn’t have needed to run off and Lindsay wouldn’t have got confused.

The class went by agonizingly slow without Gavin next to him cracking jokes under his breath or Ryan helping him decipher the bigger words in their textbook. He wasn’t paying attention anyway; his mind was too occupied to learn about the revolutionary war… again. Seriously they had gone over this shit every year and he knew enough about it.

He jumped when the bell rang and turned to start packing his stuff just to see Gavin and Ryan slip out the door quietly. He sighed and went to follow them down to the English wing, stopping in a bathroom along to way so he could splash water on his face and take a deep breath. Just one more class and then he could go home and sleep and maybe this time when he woke up he’d find out it was all a dream.

He was the last one into his English class and had to sit in an empty seat in the back next to a guy with red hair and glasses that he didn’t know the name of. He tried not to look at Gavin sitting in the front of the room with Ray and Meg but it was suddenly really hard because a big part of him at least wanted to know if he was okay. Geoff had made it pretty clear that he wasn’t but Michael needed to know for himself. Gavin was very pointedly not looking his way but Ray and Meg had no problem doing so and then whispering to Gavin so yeah, maybe he was upset.

“Okay guys,” their teacher started and Michael found it really hard to focus, forcing his eyes open and making his ears listen. “I’ve got a fun little assignment for you guys in the next few weeks,” she clapped. This couldn’t be good. “I’m gonna be putting you guys into pairs and you and another pair will be assigned an author, and I just want you guys to do some research and find some quotes or passages and stuff and then you and the other team will both present and just talk about the different stuff you found. Easy,”

There was a collective groan throughout the room and Michael watched as Gavin and Meg turned to each other and nodded but their teacher, also having seen this laughed and shook her head. “I’ll be picking pairs so don’t even try,” Meg pouted and Gavin just looked down at his table.

“So, Alex and Jen, Mike and Tyler…” Michael found himself silently chanting in his head, a mantra of _not Gavin, not Gavin, not Gav-_ “Michael and Meg,” _fuck. That’s probably worse._ “Gavin and Ray,” they high fived and turned to Meg who must’ve had a sour look on her face because they both paused and put on their serious faces again.

“Come get your authors. And don’t worry, they’re not old poets that none of you care about, these are modern authors that you’ve probably already read or seen movies about their books,” she rolled her eyes. Meg looked back at Michael and waved him off letting him know she’d get it and went with Ray to get their little strips of paper. They grinned when they compared and found that they had the same author and then Meg was grabbing her bag and moving through the aisles to sit next to Michael. She didn’t speak, just dropped a piece of paper with _Nicholas Sparks_ written on it and crossed her arms over her chest looking bored.

“So, how long did she say we had?” he asked casually, she turned to him with a glare but finally shook it off and straightened up.

“Two weeks,”

“Okay,”

“Why don’t we each do our own research and then next week you can come over and we can compare notes?” she offered and Michael was almost over the moon that she was at least being civil with him, not ignoring or planning his death like others might’ve been.

“Sounds good,”

“Good,” she got up and went back to her seat.

Michael sighed and watched the others wistfully while they started looking up quotes and books and movies that they could marathon and went on with life like he hadn’t even existed. He supposed he deserved it though, because while Gavin was smiling and laughing along it didn’t meet his eyes and maybe that was his fault.

Okay, there was no maybe. It was all his fault.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry the others weren't in it as much, I wanted to really focus on Michael and Gavin here.


	33. Chapter 33

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Jack missed Gavin.

He had seen him around school sure, but mostly it was just passing in the halls. They didn’t have any classes together sadly and Gavin had been avoiding their lunch table since the whole Michael debacle.

No one really talked about Gavin at the lunch table anymore either. Clearly Michael didn’t want to talk about it so they tried to ignore it, but if Jack looked around the table he could see Geoff and Griffon having a silent conversation with their eyes, Ray and Ryan eating their pizza sadly and trying to find something to talk about.

Gavin didn’t even show up at Ryan’s house Friday night for boys’ night. Not a text or a call, he just didn’t appear. It was a fucking disaster too. Geoff wasn’t speaking to Michael, Michael was hardly talking to any of them, Ray and Ryan were trying to keep conversation flowing and Jack was just trying so hard, but it wasn’t enough. They all went to bed before ten and when they woke up Michael had already packed and left.

There had to be something they could all do, this was insane. Gavin and Michael had fought before, obviously, but this was something else entirely. This was possibly a real ending to their friendship.  

After school on Monday Jack found himself taking a detour and parking along the curb outside Gavin’s house.

Gavin’s mom answered the door with a big grin, pulling him into a tight hug and going on about how nice it was to see him before sending him up the stairs to her son’s room. When he had gotten there he was excited to see Gavin, hang out and see if maybe there was anything he could do to help, but when he was standing in front of the Brit’s door he found himself hesitating. What if Gavin was mad that he wasn’t there earlier? Surely Ray, Ryan and Geoff had been visiting, so why not Jack?

He pushed the thought away, he was here now and Gavin would be excited… he hoped.

He opened the door slowly. He didn’t really know what he was expecting, the room to be in a disarray or Gavin to be a crying mess on his floor with blankets wrapped around his head, but that wasn’t the sight that greeted him at all. Gavin was sitting on his bed, computer in his lap with one earbud hanging around his neck and the other in his ear while he bobbed his head to the music.

“Hey,” Jack said when Gavin looked up, a little startled. He paused the music and pushed his computer away, giving a small smile.

“Hi,”

“How are you?”

“I’m okay,"

“I miss you,”

“I’ve been here,” Gavin shrugged, biting his lip and looking away.

“I know, I’m sorry,”

“For what?” his eyebrows knit together.

“This whole messy situation,”

“It’s not your fault,”

“It isn’t yours either,” Jack said moving to sit at the foot of the bed. Gavin gave a tight smile and Jack knew he didn’t believe him. “Gavin,” he started but the Brit shook his head wildly and pulled his computer back into his lap.

“I’m done being coddled about this. You have your thoughts and opinions and I have mine, so can you help me with my homework instead?”

Jack was speechless. Gavin really didn’t seem… upset but this whole mess. He seemed more inconvenienced, but he wasn’t crying which was a good sign so Jack was only left to nod and move closer to inspect his screen.

“Ray and I need to research Nicholas Sparks,” he explained. “We have everything else, I just need a quote that I like,”

“So, anything by Nicholas Sparks because it’s all cheesy?”

“Technically, but I want it to be a good one,”

“Okay, have you found any you like?”

“A few,”

They spent the next few minutes searching the internet for a good and meaningful quote. Jack would point out the good ones and wait for Gavin’s judgement before he’d shake his head and they’d keep scrolling.

Honestly, this whole assignment would be so easy to bullshit and usually that’s exactly what Gavin did, but now he was reading every word at least twice before making his choice and moving on, analyzing and taking it all in. Jack eventually just stopped looking all together and started watching Gavin, green eyes sliding across his screen back and forth, back and forth, back and forth and then scrolling down.

“What about that one?” Jack said when he saw one that Gavin was about to pass over.

Gavin looked closely at it before looking at Jack and scrunching his nose up. “Michael is in that class,”

“So what?” Jack snapped. “You and him aren’t even talking, don’t let him ruin your fucking school work. Who the fuck cares what Michael will think or do right now,” he didn’t even feel bad when Gavin flinched.

“I- okay,” Gavin mumbled, shutting the laptop and shoving it off the bed.

“Let’s watch a movie,” Jack declared when the silence stretched between them.

“I’ll get drinks and snacks!” he got off the bed and then he was out of the room and leaving Jack to find a movie on Netflix for them.

Gavin returned five minutes later with a bag of chips curled under his arm and two mugs in his hands. When he handed one to Jack he raised a brow at the hot liquid in the cup.

“It’s too hot for hot chocolate,”

Gavin glared at him, marched over to the AC and turned it on high before standing around triumphantly with his hands on his hips. “It is never too hot for hot chocolate,” he stated when he sat down.

“It is, that’s why you had to turn the AC on,” Gavin made to get up but Jack caught his arm and pulled him back. “Keep it on, get under the covers and shut up,”

“What movie did you pick?”

“A Nicholas Sparks original,”

“Oh Jesus,” Gavin sighed.

“It’s a classic,”

“Doesn’t she die?”

“Watch the damn movie,”

Gavin seemed bored at first, but when the two main characters actually started falling in love, looking at each other more affectionately and getting closer, fleeting touches and unspoken words lingering, he perked up. Jack just smirked and sipped at his hot chocolate.

They were nearing the end of the movie when Gavin leaned over and paused it, turning expectantly to Jack who watched him curiously.

“Do you…” he started, stopping to gather his thoughts. “Do you think it’ll all work out?”

“I do,”

“Really?”

“You and Michael are a package deal,”

“That doesn’t mean anything right now though,”

“You’ll find your way back to each other soon enough,”

“I hope you’re right,” he reached over to start the movie again.

“I am,” Jack said quietly, but he wasn’t sure Gavin heard him.

They didn’t speak again until after the credits had rolled and they were squished into Gavin’s bed, shoulders pressed together with the AC still roaring, giving the room life while the two stared at the ceiling and tried to fight sleep.

Jack had just given up on fighting his tired eyes when Gavin shifted next to him, head lolling to the side to stare at the side of the ginger’s face. Jack kept his eyes open, watching the lights from cars passing outside dance across the ceiling for a few moments before Gavin actually spoke.

“Jack,”

“Hmm?”

“Did you really think he loved me?”

“Yeah buddy, I did,” he didn’t even need to think about it.

“You know,” Gavin whispered, swallowing loudly, “for a bit there… I did too,”

~~~

While Ryan had seen Michael every day practically since shit hit the fan, he still missed him because the Michael sitting with them at lunch and sitting in class with him was not the same Michael he knew and loved. He was more reserved and when they’d play video games and he’d start yelling and shouting at them Ryan found that it tended to be more real than usual. He was actually mad that they died or he was actually mad that he wasn’t winning, it wasn’t the usual Michael shouting. This had real rage behind it, and Ryan knew where it was stemming from.

So, Tuesday after school Ryan dropped Ray off and made his way across town to Michael’s house. They hadn’t really been alone since everything happened. They had hung out and played Xbox with Ray and mostly everyone was at their lunch table, but never just Ryan and Michael.

He didn’t really know what he expected Michael to do when he opened the door to see the blond standing there with his hands behind his back and a nervous look on his face. Maybe he would just slam it shut or maybe he’d jump into Ryan’s arms and thank him for coming over, because he was probably feeling kinda lonely the last few days now, but instead he opened the door with a blank expression, one that quickly turned into a scowl when he noticed just who it was.

“Look,” he began, holding one hand out and gripping the side of the door tightly in his other, knuckles white against the dark blue. “I know you’re team Gavin or whatever, but I don’t want to talk about it,”

Ryan held his hands up defensively. “First, I’m not picking teams, this is shitty for both of you. I know everyone is coddling him, myself included, but you don’t deserve to be shut out,”

Michael watched him for a few moments, gaze calculating before he nodded and held the door open. “What exactly are you here for then?”

“I just wanna watch movies and play video games,”

“I can do that,”

“Good,”

They soon found themselves sitting at the edge of Michael’s bed, shoulders bumping against each others while their thumbs tapped rapidly at buttons and triggers until one of them emerged victorious. Ryan was just glad that when Michael lost he didn’t actually start screaming, just gave little groans of annoyance and hit start again until he had won the last three games and declared a break.

“So, how’ve you been?” Ryan asked casually, holding his hands up again when Michael’s head whipped over and he raised a brow. “I’m asking as a concerned friend,”

“I’ve been fine,”

“Okay…” it got too quiet.

“I’ve got to do an English project with Turney,”

“Jesus, how is that?”

“We need to research Nicholas sparks, how do you think it’s going?”

“Not well at all,”

“Yup,” Michael said popping the P and flopping back on his bed. “And we haven’t even actually met outside of school yet to work on it,”

“When is it due?”

“Like, next week or something,”

“You’ve got time then,”

“I know, I’m going over Thursday night so we can put together a presentation,”

“Has she said anything?”

“She doesn’t need too,” the redhead groaned. “She just stares at me, like she’s a fucking doctor and she needs to record everything I do,”

“Maybe you should start the conversation then,” Ryan suggested but Michael just laughed humorlessly.

“She would eat me alive,”

“Probably better her than Geoff though,” Ryan shrugged.

“True,” Michael nodded. “God, this whole situation is fucked,”

“I know, I’m sorry,”

“I know I said I didn’t want to talk about it but… can we talk about it?”

“Of course,”

“I’m not trying to be a dick. I’m just shocked and I don’t really know how to handle this stuff right now,”

“That’s okay,” Ryan said slowly, dropping a hand on Michael’s shoulder.

“I know, but I do feel awful. Gavin’s my boi, and I want to hang out with him… I _miss_ him, but I don’t know what to do. I’m not gay, and I’m not into Gavin,”

Ryan clicked his tongue, but didn’t say anything for a long minute before he sighed. “It’s okay, and you don’t need to just move on. There’s probably a lot going through your mind so just focus on that for now okay?”

“I want him to know I still care about him though, and that I’d like to see him at lunch sometimes, but I can’t talk to him,”

“Why?”

“Ryan, when you broke up with Ray…” he started, stopping to gather his thoughts. “You know what it’s like to break someone's heart, someone that’s been in love with you for a long time. You barely talked to Ray, for weeks, and then he was avoiding you and it was shit for a while,”

“But we worked it out,”

“Over time, but right now he’s avoiding me and I can’t look him in the eye and this whole thing is shit,”

“Give it time,”

“I don’t think there is a enough time in this world,” Michael admitted. “He’s been holding this in for fucking years, we told each other everything and yet… he kept the biggest fucking secret in the world from me. He let me date other people and hurt him and let everyone get upset with me for little shit all the time because you all knew and I didn’t,” he didn’t sound mad anymore, just genuinely hurt.

“I’m sorry, it’s not fair,”

“I know, but I’m not being fair to him either and now Geoff hates me and I hate me and everyone hates me,”

“Michael, no one hates you. Geoff is just really protective of Gavin and we’re all just a little confused to be honest,”

“Ryan,” Michael said slowly. “Did you think…”

“Yeah man, I did,”

Michael looked away from him, up at the ceiling and then down at the floor before he took a deep breath and, “Fuck!”

Ryan flinched, moving away from him to give him space, but now Michael was going to stand and pace the room. “I don’t know how to fix this!” he bellowed.

“We can figure it out later,” Ryan said quickly reaching out to grab the redhead by the shoulders but Michael pulled away, wrapping his arms around himself. “Sit down, this is all gonna work itself out. We are graduating in less than two months, you’ll sort it be then,”

“And if we can’t?”

“Step by step,”

~~~

Working with Michael and Geoff was usually fun, but with all the tension running between the three now it was fucking horrible.

Gavin had to walk past Michael nearly every five minutes to get to a table and greet guests or bring them food and every time he turned the corner Michael’s head dropped right down to stare at the table list in front of him while he pretended to sort through silverware and wrap it in napkins during the slow hours. Geoff was bad too, always standing a few feet away, sending Gavin these awfully sympathetic looks and then glaring at Michael while he stomped by with the dish bin. Gavin tried not to look at Michael for the entire shift as well, but with every pass he found himself staring, willing himself to go talk to him, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it.

It also didn’t help that their short after school shifts felt like decades because they weren’t all joking about the woman’s dress at table twenty one, or the man’s fly being down at table seven, they weren’t joking about anything. They were just… there.

At least, the shift was dragging, until about eight o’clock when Matt and Jeremy showed up.

They hadn’t really done anything at school lately. Of course there were still glares and small muttered comments under their breath, but it was nothing Gavin couldn’t handle after years of the shit. Now though, they weren’t in school, weren’t being watched by teachers and adults that could have them suspended or expelled. They were in Gavin’s safe place and he was terrified.

Michael it appeared also wasn’t too thrilled when they walked in and smiled at him evilly, but still he picked up two menus and walked them over to a table before turning without a word and leaving. It also just so happened that Michael seated them right in Gavin’s section of the restaurant. Whether this was on purpose or not was unclear to Gavin but he was still a bit pissed at the redhead.

“What can I get for you?” he asked, not looking at either of them, still he could see the looks they were shooting each other out of the corner of his eye.

“How are you Gavvy? Long time no see!” Jeremy said reaching out to pat him roughly on the arm, like they were old pals.

“Yeah, I didn’t know you and lover boy worked here, how cute,”

“What can I get for you?” Gavin repeated, one hand gripping his pencil so hard his hand started to cramp while the other held his little notepad close.

When the finally realized that Gavin wasn’t going to give them the time of day they just sent him off to get them some drinks and leaned close to each other, mumbling words and looking at Gavin suspiciously. When Gavin walked into the kitchen to get them drinks he found Geoff very angrily washing dishes and shoving them onto the rack next to the sink.

“What’s going on?”

“Matt and Jeremy are here, have you seen them?”

“They’re in my section,”

“Michael put them in your section?” Geoff asked, mouth dropping open.

“It’s fine, they won’t do anything,” he said, reaching over to grab two clean glasses to get their beverages.

“You don’t know that,”

“Geoff, shut up, I’ll be right back,”

“Fine,” he huffed, turning back to the sink. Gavin filled the cups and started walking back to their section, as usual Michael’s head was bowed and he was studying his pencil very intently. Gavin rolled his eyes and kept walking.

They sent him away, claiming they needed more time so Gavin went to the help the next table, getting their drink orders and heading back into the kitchen. Geoff wasn’t there when he got back so he figured he had gone to clear tables and grabbed a bottle of wine for the couple that had just ordered. He opened it in the kitchen, grabbed two of their fancier glasses and started walking back to their table, and that’s when it happened.

As he walked past Matt and Jeremy’s table a foot darted out from underneath and caught Gavin unexpectedly, sending both him and the bottle of wine crashing to the floor with a loud thud and a shatter. Everyone in the room got silent, watching him as he started reaching for the bits of glass, hoping that he could find a way to play it off but then Geoff was there with his uncle, talking to Matt and Jeremy in a very low tone, telling them to get out and stay out. His uncle walked them out after sending Geoff to get a broom, sending a sad look over to Gavin and then looking pointedly at Gavin’s uniform. It was then he noticed his white shirt covered in dark red wine.

“Bollocks,” he breathed. He had cut his hands on a few pieces of glass and then Geoff was there with a broom and dustpan, helping Gavin off the floor and pushing him towards the bathroom.

He could feel the tears stinging his eyes, but when he reached up to rub at them he winced at the small shards of glass digging further into his hands and then he looked into the mirror to really assess the damage.

His eyes were bloodshot already and his shirt was completely ruined, his hands were a bloody, wine stained mess and he felt like shit. He leaned over the sink and slowly started to try and pry the glass out of each hand, hissing in pain before trying to bite them out when the door opened and Michael walked in.

“Don’t do that,” he said immediately when he saw Gavin holding a piece of glass between his teeth, spitting it into the sink. “Jesus, you’ll make it worse,” he stepped forward and grabbed Gavin’s hand. He wouldn’t look Gavin in the eye, but he did start picking the glass from his hands, apologizing whenever Gavin winced or whined and then he was disappearing into one of the stalls and grabbing a wad of toilet paper to dab at the blood and clean him up.

“Michael… I-”

“Don’t,” the redhead said sharply, still not looking at Gavin. “Go in there and take your shirt off, I’ll give you mine since I’m mostly behind a podium all night,” he instructed, gently pushing Gavin away.

Gavin did as he was told, trying not to burst into tears all over again because _Micahel_ . Here, right now. When Gavin needed him. But still so far away, not, not _here._ God he messed up.

“Come on, we’ll get in trouble,” Michael snapped and Gavin realized that he had just been standing in the stall for two minutes before he shrugged his shirt off and threw it over the top of the stall only for Michael’s to come sailing over a second later.

They normally didn’t change like this, with a barrier between them, but Gavin knew what Michael was thinking. That he would sneak a peak or be gross, that he might… try something. So when Gavin was done changing he waited for Michael to give the go ahead before he opened the stall and stepped out, going to the sink to wash his hands.

“Just give it back whenever,” Michael said turning to walk out the door.

“Thank you!” Gavin squeaked when he pulled the door open. Michael stopped and turned halfway to him, still not looking at him even remotely but he nodded once and then he was gone.   

~~~

Meg slid into the seat in front of Michael the next day quickly, flipping her binder open and sliding her most recent findings on Nicholas Sparks over before opening her mouth to speak. “Do you think you can come over after six tonight? I need to go dress shopping,”

“Yeah, sure,” he shrugged. Prom was next Friday and it was all anyone was talking about, especially the girls in his friend group. “So…” he started casually, “who are you going with?” he figured it was at least nice to act interested, but honestly he was a little curious, maybe she and Gavin would be going together.

God, it felt like a week ago that he and Gavin were going together, Minecraft necklaces dangling around their necks while they swayed around the room and drifted between friends. He shook the thoughts away and looked back at Meg waiting for her answer.

“I’m actually going with Lindsay,” she said, looking away with a small smile.

“Oh… Nice,”

“Sorry,” Meg said after. Michael just shrugged and grabbed the binder, adding notes to things that he found lacking and showing her his after so they were on the same page.

Five minutes before the final bell of the day rang Michael felt his pocket vibrate and pulled his phone out to see a text from Ryan.

_We’re all going suit shopping after school, come with?_

_I’m not going to prom._

_Yes you are._

_Please no._

_Yes._

Michael sighed and leaned back running a hand over his face. Meg looked up at him patiently but he offered her nothing so she shrugged and went back to work.

“Have you picked a quote yet?” she asked then, just trying to make conversation.

“No, you?”

“Nope,”

The bell finally rang and both of them grabbed their things and went their separate ways. Michael bumped into Ray on the way out and caught him by the elbow.

“You coming shopping?”

“No, Gav and I are going with the girls today,”

“Oh,”

“I thought you weren’t going to prom,”

“Your boyfriend says I am,”

“I’d say sorry, but I want you to be there so I’m not,” he laughed.

“Thanks asshole,”

“We’re graduating in two weeks Michael, you need to come to prom,”

“Don’t remind me,” he sighed. “I’m not ready to leave this shit hole,”

“Oh trust me, you are. Speaking of, did you get your college answer yet?”

“Yeah,” he said sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck. “I got accepted,”

“When did you find out?”

“Like two days ago,”

“Dude! That’s awesome! Why didn’t you tell us?”

“I don’t know,” he shrugged. “No one’s really happy with me,”

“Michael,” Ray said hurt, reaching out to touch his arm. “We all still love you and I’m insanely proud of you,”

“Thanks,” he blushed.

“Now the only people we’re waiting on are me and Gavin!” Ray said excitedly.

Everyone had gotten their acceptance letters in the last month and they were just waiting on the lads.

“I’m sure you’ll both get in,” he said tightly. If he and Gavin went to the same college together surely they were gonna need to figure their shit out, but God this was all overwhelming.

“It’s okay,” Ray said as if reading his mind. “Now, Ryan’s gonna get mad if you’re late, go buy something nice,”

“I don’t wanna,” Michael whined.

“I do! I got Ryan to agree to orange,”

“Jesus, that’ll be a sight,”

“Yeah, a hot one,” Ray winked before turning and walking in the opposite direction, towards the front lot where Griffon normally parked. Michael looked further down the hall and saw Lindsay, Gavin and Meg standing in a circle talking animatedly. Part of him wanted to walk over to them, talk to them, but Jack calling his name by the door to the back lot where Ryan and Geoff parked brought him out of it and he ran over to join them.

He of course got in Ryan’s car because Geoff was already sitting in his car with his arms crossed and sunglasses perched on the bridge of his nose, Michael wasn’t about to deal with that no thanks. He slid into the passenger seat and made Ryan promise to bring him back for his car later which the blond did instantly, backing out and heading towards town. They didn’t really talk, just rolled the windows down and let the sounds of teenagers free from school and kids running down sidewalks with their parents while they shopped fill the space. When they stopped at the first red light Michael looked up and noticed that Griffon, Caiti, Ray and Gavin were all in the car in the next lane over, cheesy pop music blasting from the speakers. Caiti and Ray looked like they were having a blast while Griffo and Gavin shot each other looks, clearly asking for help. Ryan looked over and chuckled at them, stepping on the gas when the light turned green. When they came to the next light Michael noticed Lindsay, Meg and Tina in the car behind Griffon’s, singing to the same pop songs with their hands thrown out of the sunroof. Michael just rolled his eyes and waited for the light to turn green so he and Ryan could turn left while the girls turned right and he didn’t have to keep trying to avoid looking at Gavin.

He couldn't stop thinking about things at the restaurant the night before. The way Gavin looked to upset when Michael walked into the bathroom and found him. The way his eyes lit up when Michael started helping him. Honestly if he wasn't in uniform he would've kicked the shit out of the two assholes, but he couldn't risk losing his job. Still, he felt awful for putting them in Gavin's section without thinking, he really didn't mean to but he had thought Gavin would be mad at him when he walked in, but instead he just stared at Michael like he was some unearthly being, an angel or some shit. 

The suit shop looked the same as the year before, still a small open space with suits on one side and dresses on the other, dressing rooms with red velvety curtains to give privacy. Ryan immediately walked over to look at ties, glancing wistfully at the blues and reds, but he stopped in front of the oranges with a sigh and started ruffling through them.

“Whipped,” Michael whispered.

“The things I do for love,”

“Caiti told me we’re going pink,” Jack said gleefully next to them.

“Purple,” Geoff admitted with a small smile, still he wasn’t speaking to Michael, or looking at him. Michael fought the urge to punch him.

“And I’m not going so…” Michael whistled, going to move away when Jack and Ryan’s arms shot out to hold him there.

“You’re going,”

“I don’t want to,”

“Too bad,”

Michael groaned and looked over at the ties in front of him. He didn’t wear one last year, wouldn’t even know how to tie one of the damn things by himself and he wasn’t going with anyone so he couldn’t color coordinate. It was going to fucking suck.

“That’s nice,” Ryan said, pointing to a sleek silver one alone in the corner. Michael didn’t even think about it before he was grabbing it and throwing it over his shoulder.

“Dude, at least be happy with your appearance,” Jack scolded.

“I’m happy with anything but pink,” he teased.

“I’m excited as shit, I don’t know what shade though…”

“Then why are we doing this now if the girls haven’t even given you the correct color schemes?”

“Ray gave me one,” Ryan said smugly, going over to browse white shirts.

“Cause if we don’t go now everything will be gone,”

“Jesus,” Michael rolled his eyes, following Ryan over to the shirts.

~~~

Gavin was dragging his feet with the girls across town as well, trying to escape every time one of them wasn’t looking but then another was and he was being grabbed and pulled in every direction. Prom wasn’t going to be fun and there was no one he could go with at this point, so what was the point of looking like an idiot in front of your whole class?

“Gavin, just try on one shirt,” Griffon begged after she walked out of the dressing room in another purple dress, this one a light lilac with sequins along the bottom. The theme for senior prom was semiformal so all of the girls were picking shorter dresses, but they were also trying to figure out what was the proper color for their skin tone and was this one too short? Was that one too flashy? Too many sequins?

Dress shopping was hard and Gavin was glad that he wasn’t in their shoes.

“I don’t want to go to this stupid dance,” he grumbled, crossing his arms with a huff.

“Too bad,” Ray said coming out of the dressing room in a simple black suit with a white shirt and orange tie. The girls cooed and rushed over to him, straightening things out and smoothing his wild hair down with their saliva covered fingers. He flinched and started swatting at them, reaching up to protect his hair when they finally settled down. “What about a black shirt?"

“Ray,” Gavin gasped betrayed.

“Do it!” he ordered pointing over at the racks on the Men’s side of the store. Meg and Lindsay walked out of their dressing room then, both wearing black dresses, Meg’s with a splash of white along the top and Lindsay’s with white at the bottom, they looked great and everyone’s attention was diverted to them. Gavin took his chance to back away and out of the store, sitting on the bench outside while children with ice cream cones dashed by, angry parents hot on their heels.

Last year he had been stoked to go with Michael, his best friend, the boy he loved. Now he was going alone and his best friend was ignoring him and he was about to graduate high school with no set future plans. His life was a complete mess and all anyone seemed to care about was stupid prom.   
  
The door to the store opened and Griffon stepped out, back in her normal street clothes, sitting quietly next to him. She watched the people walking by with him for a few minutes before she reached out and patted him on the thigh.

“I didn’t get the chance to say I’m sorry about all the shit you’re going through,”

“Don’t be,” he couldn’t look at her, embarrassed.

“I wish bad things would stop happening to you Gav,” she whispered. “But, you’re strong and you always handle them really well,”

“Thanks,”

“Which is why I think you need to come to prom,” she said, holding up a hand when he turned to her, mouth open and ready to argue. “Michael is going to be there, so this is your chance to show him that you’re okay. That your whole world didn’t revolve around him,”

“Gee, thanks,”

“I’m serious, I think you need to do this for yourself,”

“You’re literally using my situation as an excuse to play dress up,” he joked. She looked at him softly and smiled, reaching up to run her hand through his hair.

“That too, but I do want you to have some fun and get your mind off of all this shit,”

“Fine,” he stood up, “but I’m getting a blue tie!” he stated holding the door open for her.

“Sure thing,” she beamed.

~~~

Michael got to Meg’s house a little after six, parking in the empty driveway and walking up to the door. When the girl opened the door it was with a bored look on her face. She raised a brow at him and opened the door without a word, turning and walking back upstairs. He followed after her, taking his shoes off because it was polite, her house was small and cozy, pictures of her and her parents hanging on all the walls. There was a small wiener dog on the couch and a siamese cat on the floor in the middle of the hallway, both looking at him curiously.

Her bedroom was nice, walls painted a light green and there was a dress hanging on her closet door, a black and white one.

“That your prom dress?” he asked quietly, hoping that he could ease some of the tension.

“Yup,” she said bored, grabbing her computer and pulling it onto her lap.

“Look, I’m not happy that we’re partners either so can we please get this over with,” he snapped then. She was honestly being completely ridiculous. She was acting like he had slaughtered her family and stolen from her, and frankly nothing that was going on was any of her business.

“Fine,” she said emotionlessly.

They worked silently, each of them searching different things on their computers, writing bulleted facts about Sparks, nothing but the sounds of typing, scribbling pens and the occasional sigh from Meg.

“Alright fine,” Michael burst, “lay it on me.” If she was gonna act like being near Michael was such a big job for her then he’d let her have her moment in the fucking sun.

“What?” she asked, looking up at him.

“You’ve obviously got something to say, so come out with it,” he stood and began pacing around her room.

She was silent for another two minutes while he walked around the room, face getting redder every second.

Finally she placed her notebook and computer down, watching him thoughtfully.

“We were right here,” she started gesturing to her bed. “We were lying on this very bed making out. I took my shirt off,” she paused when he winced, “I took my shirt off and he freaked out,” she paused again, eyes hardening when Michael’s finally met them. “We were right here when he told me he was gay. And we were right here when he told me he was in love with you,” she said, glare unwavering. “That was the middle of freshmen year Michael,” she announced. “It has been three years since then, and Gavin has loved you for every minute of it. And you, you’re a coward,” she said standing up, a new fire in her eyes.

“Excuse you?” he growled.

“Don’t talk!” She yelled holding her hand up. “You asked me to ‘lay it on you’ so here it is. You are a coward Michael Jones. You’re a hypocrite and I have no respect for you,” she snarled taking a step closer to him. “You have spent years, holding him every night, planning a future with him, beating anyone that hurt him, and getting jealous of all his love interests. You hated me when we first met, not because he was _your_ best friend, but because you’re in love with him and I was a threat, same with Caleb,” she was shouting now and Michael was just thankful that her parents weren’t home to hear it.

“You led him on for years,” she continued, “You made him believe that he had a chance and just when the door was opening you’d slam it in his face and fuck off with Kara or Lindsay or anyone that you had the slightest chance with because you’re too fucking scared to admit that you’ve loved him just as long as he’s loved you,” she paused then, taking a deep breath and taking in the startled look on his face. He was angry, hurt, scared, and under it all; guilty. “And even after all that,” she said softly in disbelief, “even after all that, he still loves you,” she whispered shaking her head. “I just hope one day he meets someone that will love him right; someone that fucking means it when they say they’ll be there! Because you sure as hell aren’t. Now, I’ll finish this stupid paper, you just find a quote that you like on your own time, but I’d like you to get the fuck out,” she ended, eyes filling with tears.

Michael was speechless, absolutely silent, lips sealed shut without his consent. She did seem pretty upset though, so he stood up without a word, gathered his things and then walked out of her bedroom door.

~~~

Gavin’s parents had only left twenty minutes ago and they had house keys so there was no way it was them pounding on his front door at around nine thirty at night. He walked slowly up to his door, peeking out of the peephole to see a familiar face.

He pulled it open and tilted his head at Meg, motioning her inside. “What are you doing here?” he asked shutting the door behind her.

“Why do you love him?” she asked immediately.

“What?” he asked startled.

“Why do you love Michael?” she asked again, louder this time.

“I can’t- I don’t know what you’re asking,” he admitted.

“I’m asking you why you’re still in love with him after everything he’s put you through, there has got to be something I’m missing,” she pleaded.

“I… I don’t know really,” he started, “I just, do,” he shrugged.

“But why?” she urged. He thought long and hard before he began, looking right at her and speaking passionately.

“I had a crush on him the minute I met him,” he smiled. “He saved the day, ya know? Who doesn’t love a hero? But, I don’t know, after that day he was just always there when I needed him to be, and quickly we became best friends and then one day, I think it was the middle of sixth grade, I woke up and he had texted me good morning, like he always did, but for some reason I just felt differently about it, and I knew I was in love with him, had been all along. I didn’t talk to him all day because I was so scared, but at the end of the day he waited at my locker and before I could even say a word he was grabbing me and apologizing for whatever it was that he had done, almost crying because he thought it was my way of ending the friendship,” he chuckled. “I told him I just had some stuff on my mind and needed a day to myself and God, he was so understanding and it killed me even more, but I just smiled and went back to his house and played video games like everything was normal, like my heart wasn’t about to burst from my chest and run wild every time he looked my way,” he shook his head before meeting Meg’s eyes, “I never felt that way with you or Caleb,” he told her honestly, then looked alarmed, “shit, sorry, no offense,” he babbled.

“None taken,” she laughed.

“But yeah, I just, I love him, always have, think I always will, but I don’t mind,” he smiled.

“I think I get it, but I don’t like it,” she told him.

“That’s okay, I do,” he said quietly.

“You’re setting yourself up for failure,” she told him then, reaching out to hold his hand on his lap.

“Maybe,” he shrugged, “but I’ve gotta set myself up for something, and if it’s failure in the end, well at least I can say I loved with everything I had,” he told her, squeezing her hand then, eyes misting.

“You are such a good person Gavin Free,” she pulled him into a fierce hug, “I hope one day someone worthy enough sees that too,” she whispered.

“Maybe someday,” he whispered back. “On the bright side, I think I just picked a better Nicholas Sparks quote,” he smiled when they pulled away from each other.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, come look at my project, but don’t get any ideas,” he warned taking her hand and leading her towards the stairs.

“No promises,”

~~~  
  
Gavin had a lot on his mind the next morning when he walked into school. He was tired of his friends walking on eggshells around him, he was tired of Michael walking quickly past him whenever their paths crossed, he was tired of tests and quizzes and when he saw Matt and Jeremy leaning against the wall across from his locker snickering at him he was just so fucking tired.   
  
He was still upset about the incident at the restaurant a few days before, mainly the fact that they hadn’t gotten any consequences because, what could Geoff’s uncle do other than kick them out? Nothing. He had to buy a new shirt and still hadn’t given Michael his back yet, but it wasn’t like Michael would ask for it back himself. He’d probably send Ryan in a day or two.

Gavin was trying to ignore them while he grabbed his books from his locker but when he turned around and they were both smiling at him smugly something in him snapped.   
  
Maybe it was the lack of sleep from the past few days or the annoyance that he had two quizzes coming up in the next few classes. Or maybe he was just tired of everyone shitting on him, so without a word he dropped his books on the floor with a loud _smack_ and marched over. They looked surprised when he reached them, mouths opening to speak but Gavin wasn’t having it, arm reeling back and swinging into Matt’s face before anyone could blink. Jeremy moved quick to shove him away, arm coming up to swing but he didn’t get the chance.

It was still early, and most teachers were still entering the building, walking through the halls and greeting students as they passed. Only when Gavin’s history teacher and math teacher turned the corner and caught actions they both sprang forward, rushing to push the three apart and start hauling them towards the principal's office. Other students of course had noticed, but Gavin didn’t pay them any attention until he looked over towards his locker and saw Geoff and Ryan standing slack jawed staring at him. He smirked at them and let his math teacher drag him away.

~~~

Geoff got the text from Gavin just before second block, stating that he had been suspended for two days, nearly lost the privilege to go to prom and was grounded for the rest of the week. Matt and Jeremy each got a day since neither of them hit back or really technically started anything. Still Geoff was pissed off, walking into science with a scowl and taking his seat behind Michael who looked back at him curiously but Geoff wasn’t having it, glaring at him until he turned around.

This whole thing was Michael’s fault really. He’s the one that put Matt and Jeremy right in Gavin’s fucking section, gave them the power to fuck with him. He’s the one that was ruining their entire groups atmosphere and dynamic. This was all just his fucking fault.

The warning bell had just rang but Geoff stood up and walked out of the class, purposely kicking Michael’s chair on the way because _what the fuck?_ He was acting like he didn’t even care that his best friend got into a fight, got suspended and he wasn’t even there for him. Michael was the one that always swore he’d be there for Gavin every waking minute and now… he was no where when he needed to be everywhere.

Geoff slammed into one of the less busy bathrooms on the third floor, relieved that no one else was inside. He leaned over the sink and took a deep breath, pulling his phone out to call Gavin but he got no answer. He went to try again when the door swung open and he saw Michael walked in from the mirror’s reflection.

“What the fuck was that?” he sneered.

“Shut up,” Geoff snapped.

“No, I think it’s time you and I talked,”

“I don’t wanna speak to you,”

“Clearly you do,” Michael said, moving in Geoff’s way when he started walking towards the door. “You keep giving me these looks and bumping into me, fucking with me. Everyone else has been yelling at me lately, why don’t you get it over with too?”

Geoff really didn’t want to do this right now. He wanted to go see Gavin and slap him in the face because why the fuck was he choosing to be reckless right before graduation? He thought he was smarter than that. But if Michael was giving him the chance to go off then maybe he’d let himself explode.

“I’m fucking pissed at you,”

“I got that,” Michael rolled his eyes.

“This whole thing is all your fault,”

“Why? Because I’m not in love with him?”

“No, because now you’re just being an asshole. Ignoring him, putting Matt and Jeremy right in his fucking space, you know that they hate him, but I didn’t think you’d try to fuck him over,”

“I was pissed when they walked in, wasn’t even paying attention to where I put them, do I feel bad? Absolutely,”

“Something tells me not to believe you,” Geoff said simply.

“Of course it does,” Michael spat. “Because why would you believe me, one of your best friends,”

“Yeah, one of _our_ best friends, where were you this morning when Gavin got in a fight with Matt and Jeremy? Why aren’t you with him right now at his house?”

“He got in a fight?” Michael asked instantly, he actually looked shocked and then Geoff realized that, Michael got to school after the final bell that morning, of course he didn’t fucking know about the fight. It was too late to backpedal now though.

“Yes, and you’re usually the one that’s there to keep him out of this shit, so where were you now?” he knew it was pointless, there was nothing Michael could have done as it was, but he wanted to make the redhead feel bad.

“Why are you yelling at me about this? Where the fuck were you then? If I should’ve been with him so should’ve you or Ryan or Jack,” he snapped. “I’m not the only one that can keep him out of doing stupid shit,”

“That’s not the point! We’re all his best friends, we need to fucking protect him,”

“He’s almost eighteen years old, it’s about time he fights his own battles,”

“That doesn’t mean he has too! He can pick and choose his fights but we’ve got to be there for him,”

“You’re literally making no sense,” Michael breathed.

“You’re an asshole,” Geoff said simply, running out of argument. Class had started long ago and they were both going to be marked absent and then have their parents called and end up with detentions but Geoff found that he didn’t really care. Michael didn’t seem to either.

“Shut the fuck up Geoff, you just want to be mad at me because you don’t wanna be mad at yourself. You should’ve been there too, and apparently you were if you know so much about it,”

“I witnessed it,” Geoff admitted.

“Then where the fuck were you? Just watching him get his ass kicked?”

“He didn’t get hit actually, it was broken up before they could swing,”

“So he’s fine, not injured at all and you have the nerve to blame me,”

“Well, all signs point to you,”

“Fuck off Ramsey,” Michael snapped. “I didn’t do shit. I’m not gonna be held responsible because he can’t control his fucking feelings,”

Geoff pushed him. Hard. Michael stumbled back a few steps, eyes widening. Their group had wrestled many times before, but it was a very unspoken agreement that they never actually tried to hurt each other no matter how mad they got. Geoff it appeared forgot that rule, and it also appeared he regretted it because his eyes widened when Michael’s hazel eyes snapped up to meet his blue.

“I-”

“I’m having a really hard time with all of this right now,” Michael said calmly. “I’ve been yelled at and ignored but the last thing I need is you fucking trying to beat me up now. So before you fucking lay another hand on me I’m going to walk out and you are not going to follow,” he turned around before Geoff could say anything and left.   



	34. Chapter 34

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Jack hated shopping in general. Probably because his mom always took him when he was little for school and while he was done picking clothes and trying things on after an hour, his mom always wandered into the women’s section where they spent four more hours. So yeah, he despised clothes shopping for himself.

But when he had to go shopping for himself for someone else? That was beyond frustrating. Caiti had sent him the color of her dress, white and pink, easy enough right? Only Jack’s phone’s brightness had apparently been turned way down and the screen had cracked a few days before when he dropped it and he was standing with his back to the sun so it's rays were beating down on it and-

He bought the wrong shade.

So naturally when Caiti showed up the Sunday before prom to look through flower magazines for corsage and boutonniere ideas she gasped in horror at the tie she saw hanging off his closet doorknob. “Jack,” she whined, grabbing the sleek fabric and bringing it over to him. “It's too dark,”

“But it's the same color you sent me,” he said reaching for it and his phone at the same time. He had only just opened his camera roll when he noticed it. The tie was way too dark, almost a light red. “Dammit,”

“Wanna take a trip down to the store? Sooner is better than later,”

“You make it sound like we forgot flour for a cake,” he grumbled, standing up and starting for the door.

“I mean, the world isn’t over yet, so for now let’s pretend it is just a cake,”

“It’s never just a cake,” Jack said passionately but when Caiti glared at him he started laughing and took her hand. “Come on, let’s hope they have the right shade still and you don’t need to buy a new dress,”

“Oh, I’m not buying a new dress,”

“Then you’ll have to find a new date, one that can match you right,”

“Or we can just hope it’s dark enough in the room that no one notices,”

“Oh, they’ll know. Everyone takes prom way too seriously,”

“Yeah they do. It was pretty crap last year,”

“We’ll probably end up leaving early again this year,”

“That’s fine,” she shrugged. “We can go minigolfing!”

“As long as we get to go in our prom clothes because I hate spending all this money for an outfit I’ll only wear once,”

“We can start wearing them everyday then,”

“Graduation outfits,”

“Perfect,"

Minutes later they were parking along the curb and stepping out in front of the special occasions shop. Caiti paid the meter and took Jack’s hand, making sure he had the tie with him and walking inside to find the first available salesperson. There was a woman with short brown hair and a big smile walking towards them before Caiti could even finish looking at the room. She stood uncomfortably close to them and yammered on and on about all their sales and options and Jack could see Caiti getting visibly distressed.

“Actually!” she started cutting the woman off, but Jack put his hand on her back and stepped forward.

“I bought the wrong color,”

“Oh! Is that all? Right this way,”

She left them alone at the tie stand thankfully and Caiti’s eye finally stopped twitching. “Babe,” he laughed. “It’s okay,”

“This one,” she said, grabbing a tie from the bottom shelf. She held it to the light and after a few moments of silence her shoulders relaxed when she determined it was the right color, turning back to Jack and holding it up to his face. “It’ll be great,” she smiled. Jack just shook his head and kissed her.

She was so cute when she was rattled, but when they pulled apart and her gaze caught something behind him and she just lit up, he thought she was fucking adorable. “What do you think is back there?” she whispered pointing behind him. He turned around to see a wooden door with an _Open_ sign above it.

“Let’s find out,” he shrugged, walking over to it and pushing it open. It looked like a small warehouse with clothes, only instead of this one being full of prom options it was full of wedding gowns, tuxes and accessories. _Here Comes the Bride_ was playing loudly. “Oh Jesus,” Jack sighed when Caiti gasped and walked further into the room.

“I haven’t been to a bridal shop since my cousin's wedding when I was ten,”

“What were you?”

“Flower girl,”

“I never knew that,” Jack said shocked. They knew pretty much everything about each other by now, from favorite foods to the reason they really hate seagulls or the time they almost drowned when they were five.

“I don’t like to think about it. I tripped on the walk and my dad had to carry me the rest of the way cause I couldn’t stop crying,”

“Oh my God,”

“Yup,” she laughed. “He had to stand up there with me too cause I wouldn’t let go of his hand,”

“And you were how old?”

“Ten, shut up,” she looked away embarrassed. She caught sight of the far wall, shelves stacked from floor to ceiling with top hats. She looked at Jack and grinned, pulling him towards it. “If we get married,” she started and Jack’s heart skipped a beat. Sometimes he couldn’t even believe he was dating Caiti and that she was as crazy about him as he was about her, but the thought of getting to marry her someday? It was almost overwhelming. “I want you to wear a top hat,” she continued, grabbing the tallest one she could reach and plopping it onto Jack’s head.

“You don’t want me in a dress?” he asked mock offended. “I look killer in white,”

“You can wear a white tux,”

“We’ll see,”

“On what?”

“How orange my beard is at the time,”

“Okay?”

“If I wear white it’ll stand out and take away from your beauty,”

“But if you wear black you’ll look like you’re prepping for Halloween,”

“We’ll just have to get married in October,”

“A fall wedding would be cool,” she beamed. “As long as it’s oustide,”

“Then I’ll just wear shorts and a vest,”

“Don’t forget flip flops,”

“Oh, of course,” he said like it was stupid to even think he wouldn’t.

The song finally changed, something slower while a man sang about the love of his life. Jack looked around the room and noticed that they were still the only ones inside. He walked over to the veils lining the opposite wall and pulled one down, walking over to Caiti and placing it gently on her head. “May I have this dance,”

“Absolutely,” she giggled taking his hand and letting him spin her around the room a few times. He dipped her, a short terrifying moment where she almost screamed because she was not expecting it, and then they were standing up, holding each other while laughter racked their bodies. “Who do you think will get married first?” she asked when they calmed down.

“I mean, logic says Geoff and Griffon but Ryan might be a little spontaneous one day,”

“True,” Caiti laughed, “God, Ray would have a heart attack,”

“I’d pay to see it,”

The song changed again, something even slower and both of them stopped talking to listen to the lyrics, not caring that there were cameras in the corners of the room, watching them act like idiots in a small room full of wedding clothes they were too young to really consider wearing. Caiti laid her head over Jack’s chest, listening to his heart beat and as the song reached the first chorus he leaned down to kiss the crown of her head, right in the opening the veil gave. She smiled against him and whispered, “Hey Jack?”

“Yeah?”

“I’m glad it was just a cake,” she giggled.

“Me too,”

~~~

Monday after school Geoff parked his car in front of Gavin’s house and sighed long and hard, hands tight on the steering wheel before he climbed out with Gavin’s homework in a neat green binder. He hadn’t gotten to talk to Gavin since before he was suspended, and a big part of that was because he was fucking pissed off at the Brit.

Then he was the sorry bastard that got stuck with his homework assignments and was put in charge of making sure he got them. Well… not really. Michael was put in charge because even the staff fucking knows how close the two are, but he passed it on to Ryan who had work and begged Geoff. So now Geoff was knocking on Gavin’s front door and smiling tightly at his father when he opened the door.

“Geoff, you know Gavin’s grounded,” his father scolded but Gavin had been grounded plenty of times before and Michael always got to go over so Geoff didn’t really see the fucking point right now, but he nodded and kept the nice face on.

“I have his homework,” he announced, holding out the binder for his Mr. Free to take so he could leave.

“Oh, okay, go on up,”

 _Fuck._ Geoff was kind of hoping he’d keep up the strict parent thing and send him away, but now he was walking up the steps to Gavin’s room and pushing the door open casually. Gavin was laying in bed with his DS glued to his face and Geoff sighed.

“Having fun?”

“No,” Gavin said instantly, sitting up eagerly. “You’re the first visitor,”

“You aren’t in prison,”

“Might as well be,”

“You did this to yourself you know,”

Gavin glared at him. “You’ve been suspended,”

“Not less than a month before graduation where this could seriously fuck up college,”

Gavin looked away, clearly not having thought about that. “Okay, well, they’re dicks,”

“Oh, I fully agree and I’m glad that they didn’t get a hit in on you, but still,”

“They deserved it,”

“I know,” Geoff snapped. “But you can’t be stupid,”

“I can do whatever I want,” Gavin snarled back, standing up. “I’m tired of people treating me like shit and then getting yelled at when I return it,”

Geoff’s mouth dropped open. “What are you really upset about?”

“They came into the restaurant and-”

“What else though? Is this about Michael?”

“Isn’t it always?”

Geoff sat on the bed and patted the spot next to him for Gavin to take a seat. “Don’t let him ruin your entire senior year,”

“I’m trying, but with prom only a few days away, and not even knowing if I can go, graduation and finals right around the corner, my best friend disappearing, I’m a little stressed,”

“I understand that, but you’ve gotta stop letting things affect you so much,”

“What are we even talking about anymore?” Gavin joked, but he just looked sad and his laughter was breathy and fake.

“Everything. Don’t let Michael’s stupidity ruin your life,”

“While we’re  talking about Michael,” Gavin said suddenly, glaring at Geoff. “Apparently Michael told Ray who told me what happened in the bathroom the other day,” he sounded like a parent giving Geoff the chance to spill before he got punished for lying as well.

“Look, I-”

“Stop, just… Be fair. He needs people too. I get it, it's a shitty thing and you wanna be there for me, but he's confused,”

“You aren't mad at him?”

“I can't be,” he shrugged. “He didn't know the situation,”

“So that's it? He gets away with everything because he's oblivious,”

“Um, yes,” Gavin deadpanned.

“I don't think that's fair,”

“I don't think you're being fair,”

“What do you want me to do?” Geoff snapped.

“Hang out with him. Tell him you still love him and wanna be friends with him,”

“Sounds like something you should do,”

“I'm not gonna push my luck,”

“I shouldn't either,”

“But you have a better chance,”

“We'll see,” Geoff said not looking at him. Gavin knew he wouldn't even try but he didn't wanna push it so he kept his mouth shut. “I should get going, you are grounded after all,”

“See you Thursday,” Gavin called after him.

He grabbed the binder when he heard the front door shut and started flipping though. Unfortunately his history teacher was planning a test for Thursday and wanted to make sure Gavin was well prepared, so she sent him all the pages he’d need to read to be safe. He still had to finish some small details with Ray on their Nicholas Sparks project and he was going to miss a quiz in math tomorrow.

Instead of getting to work studying any of that though, he leaned back in his bed and shut his eyes, hoping that if he slept just a little bit maybe things wouldn’t seem as stressful when he woke up.

~~~

The letter had arrived Tuesday while Ray was at school. It was just a plain white envelope with his name on it and nothing else, but on the table next to it was a plate of cookies and a note from his mom.

_Sorry I can’t be here to see you open it. Good luck!_

He sighed and pulled his phone out of his pocket, calling Ryan and telling him to turn around before he got too far home. He came back within minutes, standing anxiously by the table while Ray picked up the letter and looked at it.

“What if it’s a rejection?” he asked. Ryan waved him off though.

“Your grades are good enough Ray, and you’re creative which is definitely something they look for,”

“Yes, but what if they’ve already got a ton of creative kids with decent grades?”

“We won’t know until you open it,"

“I don’t want to,” he sighed, but he lifted the first corner and started peeling, stopping every few centimeters to turn and look worriedly at Ryan.

“‘Dear Ray Narvaez Jr, we are excited to inform you that you’ve been accepted into-’” he didn’t even bother finishing the letter. He knew all he needed to.

“See!” Ryan cheered, rushing forward to pick Ray up and spin him around the room. They were both laughing and Ray looked like he couldn’t actually believe it, holding the letter back up when his feet were back on the ground so he could read the first sentence five more times.

“I got in,” he whispered. He didn’t think it would actually happen. He had plenty of support and reasons that he _should_ get in, but he still didn’t think he would.

He and Gavin had both applied so late into the year that they were convinced they wouldn’t get in because all the spots were filled. They had discussed in detail what they would do while all their friends went to college and they stayed home to work full time. They were going to get an apartment and when their friends came home on weekends they were going to talk about their lives as if they weren’t actually apart at all. They would sneak into all of their friends parties and lie to other kids about their majors and see what the whole college thing was like without actually needing to go.

“Of course you got in,” Ryan smiled, leaning down to kiss him on the forehead. “And you and Michael are gonna do some crazy shit,”

“Yeah, we’ll make an all new franchise,”

“There ya go,”

“Now we just gotta wait for Gavin,” Ray smiled, taking a picture with his phone and sending it to all their friends.

The replies were instant, congratulations and emojis from all of them. Griffon sent back a selfie with the school’s flag in the corner and an exclamation point. Gavin sent a thumbs up and Michael sent the clapping emoji five times. He was so busy looking between his phone and letter that he didn’t notice Ryan’s hand coming towards his face until a cookie was being shoved in his mouth and he turned to glare at his boyfriend for nearly choking him to death.

“Celebratory cookies,” he shrugged. His mouth was full and he had another in his hand. If it were anyone else Ray probably would’ve been disgusted, but he was in such a high mood at the time, reaching forward to wipe crumbs from Ryan’s mouth and lean up to kiss him.

“We could celebrate with cookies…” he trailed off, wiggling his brows. “Or we could…” he looked back towards the stairs and then Ryan was dropping his other cookie back onto the plate and scooping Ray into his arms to carry him away.

~~~

“Geoff, this is the last credit you need,” Griffon snapped when he made it very clear he wasn’t taking his math tutoring seriously.

“I’ll be fine,”

“No, you won’t. You can’t even do a simple polynomial long division equation,”

“Griffon,” he laughed, “no one can,”

She was practically fuming. “You’re the one that wants us to go to college and live together and be together forever, and now you won’t even make the effort to get there!”

“Babe,” he said reaching out to put his hands on her shoulders. “I’ve got this,”

“Prove it to me,”

“I’ll just make Ryan take the test,”

She glared at him and dropped his notebook onto his bed. “Call me when you’ve done every problem on that page and we’ll see,”

“Griffon, don’t go,” he sighed reaching out for her but she was quick, slamming his bedroom door behind her and taking off.

A few minutes later he heard her car start and take off down the road.

He felt bad, but he was getting a little too cocky. And maybe that was because he was acing all of his other classes, doing so well that it became apparent that even if he bombed every final he’d still pass with something higher than a C. That wasn’t the case in math though, but still, he was convinced that he could probably get a good enough grade to maintain a D and graduate. Griffon however, was not buying it.

“With the ungraded homework assignments that you didn’t do your grade is now below a seventy,” she explained. “A seventy is a D, so you are now failing the class,”

“I’ll just get extra credit shit,”

“You can’t! Extra credit is only available to students that turned in homework and tried their best but didn’t get good grades, you just suck at math,” she said crossing her arms over her chest. Geoff was a little offended.

“Okay, so I’ll do the next few assignments and study hard,”

“I’ll help you,” she offered, and she tried to. Coming over every day after school to go over notes and new problems that would definitely show up on the test, but he was always distracted by her. The way her hair fell gently over one shoulder, tongue caught between her lips when she focused extra hard. She’d slap his hands whenever he touched her though because she knew what he was going for and she had been looking into apartments already.

Which was another problem, she had asked constantly if they were dorming or getting an apartment together, but Geoff just didn’t know the answer. He kept saying it was whatever she wanted, or whatever Jack and Caiti picked. Which proved to be insanely infuriating for his girlfriend because nobody knew what the fuck they wanted and she was trying to figure it out but nobody was helping and-

Things were just tense lately.

They weren’t fighting or in some sort of ‘are we going to break up?’ stage, they were fine mostly. But they were both stupid and scared and it was definitely putting a rift between them.

He looked down at his notebook and the studyguide they had been making, lifting it up and turning his desk lamp on for extra light. If she was going to freak out so much about it maybe he should start taking it seriously. So he sat down and took a pencil, going over each problem ten times in his head before concluding that he didn’t remember a damn thing and he was absolutely screwed. Finally he put the books down and grabbed his phone, calling the one person that was best at math in their group.

“Ryan, I need help,”

~~~

It was one thing to not be speaking to Gavin, but to see him around school. It was another thing to not speak to or see at all.

It was Wednesday, which meant Gavin would be back tomorrow but Michael found that he felt… lonelier. Like by having seen Gavin around school in the first few days of their ‘needing space’ he still had him, if that made any sense at all. Now though Michael would walk through the hallways alone and he wouldn’t even walk past Gavin after math, wouldn’t find him at his locker first thing in the morning.

He sat through history, taking notes with Ryan and talking about the industrial revolution before the bell rang and they were taking off. Ray and Meg were waiting outside of their English class looking over something on her phone when Michael approached.

“Hey,” Meg said bored. They hadn’t really talked since she went off on him. They worked quietly in class and sometimes he would hold out his phone with new information for her to add to their slide show. “Ray is gonna work with us since Gav isn’t here,”

“Okay,” secretly he was sighing in relief.

It wasn’t as bad as it could have been. They had a few more days to finish their project but for the most part they were done. Which gave Michael the chance to just sit and talk with Ray about video games or other classes. Occasionally Meg would add in but when her eyes met Michael’s she’d look away with a snarl.

When the final bell rang he didn’t even bother going to his locker, deciding that his homework wasn’t that important and he could afford one bad grade. Instead of going home though he found himself turning in the opposite direction of town, flying down the highway until he was coming out of a bend and driving with the ocean out his window. He parked in the dirt and climbed out, carefully making his way down the rocks until he was able to dip his feet in, sitting carefully on the smoothest rock available.

He didn’t realize it for ten minutes, but when his phone pinged with a notification from Facebook, just that Gavin had posted something about being bored, he remembered the night that he had gotten his license, taking Gavin out to the beach, to that exact spot and rock. He bought him ice cream and they just talked, but looking back at it now it all seemed so different. Now that he knew that every conversation they had shared had meant more to Gavin… it made things feel wrong. Like when he would constantly promise Gavin that they’d be best friends forever, and now they weren’t talking. Or when he’d wake up with Gavin’s head on his chest and his arms wrapped around him and wouldn’t do a thing to move. He could kind of see how that would get misinterpreted.

But then he stopped to think about the fact that all of their friends, teachers and random students too probably, thought that he too was in love with Gavin. He tried to go back and dissect it, find evidence proving them right, but everything he concluded showed him that he wasn’t exactly being too romantic or in the wrong. He was just a best friend, hanging out with his boi, wanting to spend time with him and hating everyone he dated.

Okay, maybe that was a little bit of the reason people got confused, but in Michael’s defense, Gavin ended up being gay and not into Meg and Caleb was a piece of shit. He just had a good gut feeling.

He groaned and stood up, kicking a few rocks around and sending them further into the ocean. What the fuck was he actually going to do here? He knew he couldn’t just let that be it for them. Couldn’t just walk out of Gavin’s life and never talk to him again, it would only ruin both of their lives. And probably their friend’s lives too because of the tense air around them now.

So obviously he had to go talk to him soon, but he still hadn’t exactly figured out the right way to approach it. He couldn’t just walk up to him and pretend nothing had happened because this was a sensitive situation and it might hurt Gavin more if they didn’t talk about it. However, if they talked about it and ended up coming to some sort of standstill it could make things worse.

He _would_ talk to some of their friends about it, but they were mostly team Gavin and they all knew what _they_ wanted the two boys to do. They didn’t actually know what Gavin wanted.

He got home sometime after one in the morning, crashing into his bed exhausted, but even though his body ached and begged him to rest he couldn’t shut his mind off.

The next day he felt off. Maybe it was because he hadn’t slept at all the night before and his mom demanded that she drive him to school so he didn’t risk murdering someone, or maybe it was because within the first ten minutes of entering the school building he had walked into two closed doors, slammed his locker on his finger and tripped over untied shoelaces, dropping his books all over the floor while other kids laughed at him. Tina was the one to find him, leaning down to help him pack everything back up before smiling and going on her way.

He could remember talking to Jack in math class for almost an hour when they were supposed to be quizzing each other, but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what they were talking about.

By lunch time he had convinced himself that he was in the middle of some sort of fever dream, especially when Lindsay stopped by their table to talk to Griffon and smiled softly at Michael before taking off again.

He left to get his books from his locker five minutes before lunch ended and then went to his history class to see if he could bang out the homework before their teacher showed up to collect it.

The warning bell had just rung when Michael heard a familiar laugh and looked up to see Gavin and Meg leaning against the wall across from their history room. It was Gavin’s first day back and it was also the first time Michael had seen him in almost a week. He looked the exact same but for some reason Michael felt that he looked completely different at the same time. He could feel his cheeks heat up and his face turn up into a small smile.

Meg was grinning while Gavin flailed about, explaining some hilarious story and then it happened.

She leaned up to kiss him on the cheek and Michael felt something funny in his stomach. Something that told him he didn't like what he was seeing. A little twist because… _oh._

It all made sense.

Every lingering touch and longing stare. Every flip in his gut when Gavin’s attention was on someone else for more than three seconds. The stutter of his heart whenever he and Gavin made eye contact.

Every night that they spent curled up together on one of their beds, whispering words to each other about having a future together. Michael thought it was all harmless. Every time he ran his hands through Gavin's soft hair and called him a dumb ass with no real malice behind it.

It all made fucking sense.

He was in love with Gavin.

He was also, a fucking idiot.

Their teacher had just walked in when Michael snapped out of it, watching as Gavin walked into their classroom and moved to take his seat in the back with Ryan. He still had a smudge of glitter on his cheek from Meg’s lip gloss and Michael couldn’t even be in the same room as him and a bunch of other kids right now. He stood up, grabbed his bag and walked right out the door, ignoring his teacher calling for him to stop.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. After this we only have two chapters left and I don't know how I feel about that.

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Part of Michael wanted to keep his little revelation to himself, mull it over in his head a few times and then approach it cautiously and factually. Another part of him wanted to stand on the top of the school building and shout it to the world because _holy shit, he was in love with Gavin Free!_

He felt like he was seeing everything through a pair of sunglasses, never getting the full color until right now, the full picture, him and Gavin.

How would he do it now though? That was the big thing on his mind, because obviously there was a long overdue discussion to be had and Michael was definitely going to be honest, but at the same time, he really just wanted to kiss Gavin. Tell him he was so sorry, tell him he wanted them to be a thing, wanted them to be everything.

God, he was so fucking stupid. He had told Gavin countless times that he wanted someone just like him. He didn’t even realize that he _could_ have someone just like Gavin. Fucking, Gavin _himself,_ was just like Gavin.

He wasn’t paying attention when he left the school building, finding himself at Geoff’s car in the back lot and pausing. He stared at it for a long moment before deciding, _fuck it,_ and climbing into the back seat. One day Geoff was going to regret not locking his doors.

He texted him a few seconds later, telling him to leave class and call him because it was an emergency. While Geoff may have been beyond pissed off at him and Michael was a bit peeved himself he found that in a moment like this he needed the oldest of their group and he knew that Geoff would always come back if he thought something was wrong.

Sure enough only thirty seconds later his phone was ringing and he was clicking the green button at the bottom. “Hey,”

Geoff didn’t answer, but his breathing was steady on the other side. “Look, I know, but I need to talk to you. Can you ditch class and come to the park with me?”

“My car or yours?” he asked, his voice was calm and Michael sighed in relief.

“I’m already in yours,”

“Jesus,”

“You’ve gotta lock it man,”

“I suppose I do. To keep hooligans like you out?”

“Yeah, sure. See you soon?”

“On my way,”

Minutes later the back door was opening and Geoff was walking out with his head down and the hood from his sweatshirt pulled way up over his head. Michael almost laughed at him. When he got to his car he chucked his backpack into the back seat and slid in, turning to look at Michael for a long minute before he turned the key and took off.

They weren’t far from the playground that they usually went to so only one song blared through the radio until they got there. They hadn’t come gone to the swing set during the daytime before and they were both surprised by how busy it was. Still they got out and instead of trying to get on the swingset where there were two kids soaring and a line next to it, they sat on a bench a little ways away.

Geoff still didn’t speak to him, waiting for him to start, and when he did, he couldn’t stop.

“I’m not exactly smart,” he began. Geoff snorted but he let Michael continue. “I thought that my feelings for Gavin were platonic, not a thing off about them. I thought wanting to live with and spend my life with my best friend was something everyone felt, and maybe they do… but I don’t think I realized just how strongly I felt it,” Geoff looked confused, calculating, patient as he nodded for Michael to continue. “What I’m saying is, you were all right. I am hopelessly in love with Gavin,” when he finally admitted it out loud, to someone else, it made him feel bubbly, but also completely terrified. The way he expected to feel the second it hit him, but he wasn’t scared then. Sitting here now with one of his best friends and watching the way his face morphed into a smile though, it made things a little better. He didn’t notice he was crying until Geoff reached forward and yanked him into a tight hug, rubbing his back and whispering, “it’s okay,” over and over again like a mantra.

After he had told Geoff it felt like the world was lifted off his shoulders. He kept mumbling it to himself over and over again, “I love Gavin,” and when he got home he ended up pushing the door open with so much force that he put a small dent in the wall behind it, which his parents scolded him for but then he was standing in front of them with a manic grin on his face and announced. “I’m in love with Gavin,”

They stared at him for a long moment and nodded like this was nothing new. Michael supposed it wasn’t really, not to anyone else at least. When he offered them nothing else they turned back to their activities and he nearly stomped up the stairs. This was big, everyone should be celebrating. 

It was just past midnight when he called Ryan, telling him he was on his way over and he better have pants on and if Ray was there he better have some clothes on too. Ryan laughed and announced that he was alone and he’d leave the light on.

He opened the door in plaid pajama pants and white t-shirt, hair ruffled to hell and glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. Michael was grinning at him and it made him turn around to check that no one was there to scare him, but when he opened his mouth Michael beat him too it.

“You were all right,”

“What?” he pushed his glasses up and stretched his arms.

“I’ve been in love with Gavin forever and you were all right,”

“Wow,” Ryan said looking around again, but when he found that there were no hidden cameras or people behind him in clown suits he turned back to Michael and nodded. “You seem happy, I wasn’t really expecting that to be the reaction,”

“Of course I’m happy! It all makes sense! I love him Ryan, I can spend the rest of my life with him,”

“Okay, well how do you suppose you’ll go about that?”

“I’ve got time,”

“Michael, you’ve gotta act fast, Gavin thinks you hate him right now,”

“I could never!” Michael said offended, hand going to clutch at his heart.

“We all know that, but he doesn’t right now. Sooner is best,”

“What do I do?”

“We can figure it out at school tomorrow,”

“Okay! Before graduation though,”

“Of course,” he smiled. He looked around again before he seemed to take in the dark neighborhood and remembered what time it was, “did you uh… want to sleep over?” he asked pulling the door open wider. Michael shook his head though and stepped off the porch.

“I’ve got people to see!”

“Like who?”

“Your boyfriend and Jack don’t know yet!”

“They do, they have all along,”

“I know, but I gotta confirm it man,”

“You’re crazy,”

“Crazy in love!” Michael ran back to his car. For not sleeping in quite some time he was doing quite well at staying awake, mainly because he was a man on a mission and if his mom was fast asleep and didn’t know he had his car then that was fine.

Ray was less enthusiastic about a late night meeting with Michael depriving him of his precious sleep. He didn’t even bother putting his glasses on, blanket wrapped around his neck and glare set on his face. “What do you want?” he croaked, voice gravely.

“I love Gavin,” the more he said the more he enjoyed it. Maybe he would scream it from a few rooftops.

Ray had the decency to at least act shocked, eyes widening and his jaw dropping. Michael laughed and shook his head. “Don’t act shocked, you knew all along didn’t you?” he smirked.

“Well… yeah. I just didn’t think you’d be this slow,” he shrugged.

“I’m trying my best,”

“Okay, well… Really, I’m happy for you, but I’m going back to bed so…”

“Right!” Michael clapped and Ray hushed him, looking back as if his mom was going to appear at the top of the stairs and start screaming. “Sorry,” he whispered after. “I’m going to find Jack now,” he was halfway back to his car when Ray called out.

“Hey Michael!”

“What?”

“I’m proud of you!”

“Thanks!”

By the time he had got to Jack’s house someone had spilled the beans because the other boy was sitting on his porch with two glasses of water on the small table between two rocking chairs and a blanket over his shoulders. “Who told?” he asked accusingly when he reached the other chair and sat down slowly.

“Well, Ryan called me a while ago and told me that you’d be showing up the night before prom to take away from my beauty sleep so I should be prepared. I figured I would just wait for a call or text from you but then Ray texted me ‘you’re fucked’ in all caps,” he shrugged. “I figured I’d just wait for you to tell me what the fuck is going on and then I’d see you off,”

“Yeah, no. I haven’t slept in like two days and I’m not driving home,”

“My parents won’t mind,” the ginger smiled, reaching for his water and taking a long sip. “Get on with it then, I’ve been on the edge of my damn seat waiting for you,”

“I’m in love with Gavin,” most of the puzzle was complete now. With everyone else knowing it made it even more real, and now all Michael had to do was tell the Brit himself.

“I know,” Jack said slowly, like he was waiting for more.

“Well,” Michael spluttered, no one was really reacting the way he wanted them to and felt embarrassed. “I was a little behind with his information,”

“Oh, I knew that too,” Jack laughed when Michael swatted at him. “Cut it out. I’m happy, but this was not worth giving me bags for my senior prom pictures,”

“It absolutely was,”

“I mean, maybe a little,” he grinned. “Come on, let’s go to bed. I assume you’ve got a busy day tomorrow,”

“Well, with planning a way to tell Gavin and prom and a stupid science test, yeah,” he smiled sheepishly.

“You’re going to die,”

“I’ll just have a few redbulls and coffee,”

“Then you will definitely die,”

“YOLO right?”

“Yeah, okay, Ray Junior.”

“He’s already a junior, would that make me Ray Junior Junior?”

“It can make you whatever it takes to end this conversation,”

“The third?” Michael whispered when they were inside the boy’s house, creeping up the stairs so they wouldn’t wake his parent.

“Oh baby a triple,” Jack muttered around a yawn. Michael rolled his eyes and pushed at his back, trying to make him move quicker so they could go to sleep.

“It’s only funny when Cole says it in the middle of a math test,”

“True,” Jack nodded, turning the light on long enough for them each to get situated before the room was dark again and Michael was curled up with him under a heap of blankets. “This is gonna be awesome,” he stated after.

“What?”

“The quadruple dates,”

“We’ve pretty much been having those for years,”

“Except now we can all admit it’s a date,”

“That’s if I haven’t fucked everything up too badly,”

“I don’t think so?”

“You know something I don’t?”

“Nope, I just know you and Gavin, and I know love,”

“I thought I did too, but I was wrong until now,”

“But now you’re on the right path,”

“I hope I don’t fall off of it again,”

“I don’t think you will. I think you’ve learned what being stupid gets you,”

“Gee, thanks,”

“Anytime,”

Michael slept better than he had in what felt like years. He slept knowing that in less than twenty four hours he would be going to his senior prom with his best friends and maybe he’d have at least a small idea on how to tell Gavin what was going on.

By the time they had woken up Michael had said it three times before getting out of bed, “I love Gavin,”

“I know,” Jack smiled.

“I _love_ Gavin,”

“Yup,”

“Jack… I’m in love with _Gavin,_ ”

“Michael, buddy, I’m happy for you, but shut up and get dressed,”

“Oh yeah,” he said dumbly, rolling off of the bed and grabbing a t-shirt from Jack’s drawer. “I hope you don’t mind,”

“Just don’t fuck it up,” the other said leaving the room to get changed.

Michael waited until he was back to answer, “I mean, I don’t think I can make it worse…”

“I never thought you’d make it this bad the first time,”

“Well, give me time to redeem myself,”

“We will, I don’t know about Gavin though,”

Michael looked panic, grabbing Jack’s arm roughly, almost sending both of them tumbling down the stairs. “You don’t really think he’d like… tell me to fuck off right?” he whispered. Jack looked back at him and tried removing his arm but Michael’s grip was tight and his eyes were wide.

“You’re hurting me,” he stated calmly. Michael looked down and released him immediately, stepping away embarrassed.

“Sorry, I just… like, he still loves me right?”

“That’s something you and him need to discuss,”

“Do you think he won’t?”

“Michael,”

“Jack, I can’t go into this thinking it’ll be great and have him turn me away,”

“I mean… isn’t that kinda what you did to him?”

“I didn’t know the full story though, hadn’t even opened the second chapter,” they had finally made it outside, walking towards their separate cars. Jack stopped by his door and watched Michael pace his yard a few times before leaning against his hood.

“I know, and I think he’ll at least let you talk, everything after that… I don’t know,”

“I think that’ll be all I need. I hope,”

“Me too,”

He had expected school to be different the next day. Like maybe everyone else would know, would be whispering or maybe Gavin would be waiting by his locker to tell him he knew and he still loved him, but… it wasn’t. Everything was the exact same. Everyone still went to class and Gavin still walked with his head down in the hallways even though all Michael wanted to do was run up to him and hug him. The world kept spinning and people kept living, Michael supposed it made sense.

When he got to his lunch table Griffon and Caiti beamed at him, rushing out of their seats to wrap him in a warm hug and congratulate him on no longer being a dick.

“Thanks girls,” he grumbled but he was blushing and he couldn’t stop smiling.

When everyone was in their seats and settled in he leaned forward and made eye contact with everyone else. “Game plan,” he stated. They all looked at him eagerly, waiting for him to continue. “No, I’ve got nothing. I’m asking you guys,”

“Well fuck dude,” Geoff threw his hands up. “This is your show, you write the script,”

“I’ve never done this. I’ve never done the grand screw up and make up scene, you guys have,”

“I haven’t,” Jack said proudly. Caiti laughed and took his hand. “Not yet at least,”

“Hopefully never,” the Australian chimed, pecking his cheek.

“First thing,” Ryan piped up, leaning almost entirely across the table and grabbing Michael’s hand. “Tell him that you’re wrong and you understand that. Don’t make it seem like you’re blaming him,”

“Never,” Michael nodded.

“And,” Ray added, smirking at Ryan, “don’t wait forever,”

“Don’t make it personal,” Ryan sang, reaching for Ray’s hand with the one that wasn’t on Michael’s.

“I mean, are we not supposed to be speaking from experience? If I was Gavin I know I’d hate needing to wait on this. I mean, he thinks his best friend hates him and is like a huge dick or homophobic when it’s about him, I don’t know. He’s probably anxious and not sleeping, actually I know he isn’t sleeping. He looks like shit,”

“Thanks,” Michael snapped.

“Sorry,”

“Look,” Griffon cut in, “we’ve all made mistakes, we are all going to make more mistakes. Own the fuck up and tell him you love him. That kind of confession is better than any other thing you could do for him,”

“Wait, stop,” Jack said finally holding both his hands out. “Don’t plan this. If you plan it it’s gonna be awful,”

“He can’t go in blind,”

“Guys, if this works out he and Gavin are gonna look back on this as _their_ moment. If it’s planned and forced and awkward they’re going to regret it forever,”

“And if it doesn’t work out?” Geoff asked, ignoring the wince on Michael’s face.

“Then Michael knows that he at least gave it everything and he can’t be blamed anymore because he fucking tried,”

“Inspirational music plays in the background,” Ray whispered when everyone got quiet, lost in thought.

“You know…” Caiti smiled. “Prom is tonight,”

“True,” Michael smirked.

“That could be your chance,”

“As long as he wings it,” Jack added.

“Then it’s settled,” Ryan clapped. “Prom is gonna be great,”

“We can all get ready together,” Geoff announced.

“We weren’t already?” Ryan asked shocked.

“I’m going with Gav and the girls,” Ray shrugged.

“Good, we need a man on the inside.” Griffon cleared her throat and Geoff turned to her with a sheepish smile. “And some girls,” he said looking between her and Caiti,”

“Thought so,”

“This is gonna be awesome,”

“Unless it isn’t,” Michael said seriously, “Ray, if you say yolo I’ll punch you in the throat,” he warned when the other opened his mouth with an evil grin.

“You were saying it earlier,” Jack pointed out.

“It was two in the morning and I was sleep deprived,” he argued. He didn’t pay attention to what was said next because when he caught sight of bright blue hair and blonde hair moving towards the exit he was out of his chair and striding across the cafeteria.

They were almost at the other end of the hall when he finally made it out, calling out to them until they stopped and turned around with shocked faces. He jogged to reached them and stopped to look at both of them. Lindsay looked wary and Meg was just glaring with one eyebrow raised. He took a deep breath before he grabbed Lindsay’s hand and then tentatively held one out for Meg. After a long moment she relented and let him take hers too.

“I know I fucked up,” he began. “Lindsay, it wasn’t fair for me to do that to you even if I didn’t know what was happening, I should’ve figured it out sooner and it wasn’t right for me to go off on you when you finally told me the truth,” before she could answer he turned his attention to Meg. “I’m sorry for being an asshole during this whole project and everything you said to me that night is completely one hundred percent true, and I’m not expecting either of you to forgive me but, I am sorry,” the words were barely out of his mouth when Lindsay surged forward and pulled him into a hug.

“Of course I forgive you,” she laughed. “Does this mean…?”

“Yes, you were both right. Everyone else was right, I was so wrong and I am so sorry,”

Meg was still watching him shocked, he had let go of her hand when Lindsay hugged him but after a long moment she held her hand back to him and this time when he took it she squeezed and smiled.

“I’m happy for you,” she whispered. He nodded at her and turned back to Lindsay.

“I need both of you to make sure Gavin goes to prom tonight,”

“That might be hard,” Meg admitted. “He’s been on and off dragging his feet,”

“Make him promise you a dance,” he told Meg.

“I think I can do that,” Lindsay cut in. “I’ll guilt trip him,”

“Not too bad, that’s my boi,” Michael warned.

“It’ll be as bad as it takes to get him there,”

“Deal,”

The bell rang and they all jumped moving away as students started filling the halls. “See you in English?” Meg asked once Lindsay merged into the crowd.

“You know it,” he smiled.

“Good, we’re gonna kick this presentations ass!” she cheered throwing a fist in the air.

“Hell yeah, I even found the perfect quote,”

“Can’t wait,” she smiled, trying to walk around him but his arm shot out, stopping her.

“I really am sorry,”

“No, I was too harsh on you. You didn’t know what you were doing,”

“Either way, I should’ve been a better friend. And I shouldn’t have hated you when we met for dating him,”

“It’s okay Michael,” she smiled but when he didn’t look entirely convinced she leaned up on her toes and hugged him. He was frozen for a long second before he relaxed and brought his arms around her, squeezing gently.

~~~

Ray was not looking forward to English class. He and Gavin had just barely made a good poster for their presentation and he wasn’t looking forward to standing in front of his class and talking about sappy romance novels. Ryan wouldn’t even watch one with him for the assignment.

He ended up binge watching movies and spark noting every work done by the man and still he didn’t feel confident about the project. Gavin didn’t either if the look of helplessness he shot him at the start of class was any indication. Ray sat down quietly next to him, going through his notes one more time to make sure they had everything in order when Michael and Meg walked in, giggling like they had a secret and Ray supposed that they did now. All of them did. Except Gavin who watched them with a sad look on his face.

Ray knew how it must’ve looked. Meg who was so strongly against Michael’s existence the last few days, now so buddy buddy. Of course there was a reason as to why, but Gavin had no clue and from his view he must’ve felt a little abandoned.

They sat in the back of the class and very pointedly didn’t look at Ray and Gavin as they opened up binders and Meg’s computer to make sure their slide show was all set to go. Meg was pointing to something and then looking down at Michael’s phone while she fixed something and then they were waiting patiently for their teacher to start class.

“Alright guys,” she started. “Today is the day! So a few rules, questions are at the end of a presentation, five minutes minimum and have fun!” She clapped. Everyone around the room groaned and she tsked at them. “Anyone wanna go first?”

There was a pair of girls at the front of the room whose hands shot up excitedly, probably because they got Stephen King who was a lot better than Nicholas Sparks. They walked to the front of the room proudly and proceeded to give what Ray would consider the best presentation ever. They even brought out costumes and clips from interviews. Luckily though Ray and Gavin weren't the only two intimidated by their assignment. When the other pair with King were called up they shuffled slowly to the front and gave their teacher a look that clearly called for help.

It was rough. They were unprepared and awkward, mumbling and stuttering their way through it. Ray felt bad but he was kinda glad because he knew he and Gavin wouldn't do _that_ bad.

Once they were done others started volunteering, now that the initial insecurity of going first was over. Some presentations were better than others and the quotes were strong and left the other students in awe most of the time, some were just last minute forgetfulness and it was obvious.

“We've got enough time for one more author, any takers?”

“Let's get it over with,” Gavin sighed raising his hand.

“Excellent,”

They were doing okay. Ray started and he made sure to speak up and stop his shaking hands from dropping anything. Gavin pointed out things on their poster and went into further detail and then Ray was giving his quote, “‘Love is like the wind, you can't see it but you can feel it,’” he stepped back so Gavin could read his. A few kids clapped politely and Ray sighed in relief, he was finally free of this stupid assignment.

The Brit was shaking he realized and Ray didn't know why until he opened his mouth to speak. His eyes were trained directly on the back of the room, where Michael and Meg sat watching them.

Gavin took a deep breath and, “‘I am nothing special, of this I am sure. I am a common man with common thoughts and I've led a common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be forgotten, but I've loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this has always been enough,’”

Ray started clapping first and soon the rest of the class was doing the same, mainly because it was polite and they had no idea what Gavin had just done. Meg was _beaming_ and Michael was trying to hide the blush on his face, but doing a shit job of it.

They took their poster over to their teachers desk and laid it out along with their notes and went back to their seats… at least, Ray did. Gavin made a beeline for the door while Meg and Michael went to get setup and no one else noticed.

They made a slideshow, with book covers and interviews. The information was mostly the same but they had way better stage presence and everyone was captivated. They even bantered as they went, like it was scripted but Ray knew it wasn't. They just had good chemistry.

Gavin still wasn't back.

Meg read her quote first adding some dramatic flair by practically whispering it to be inspirational. “‘I finally understood what true love meant...love meant that you care for another person's happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be,’” she was looking where Gavin was supposed to be sitting and Ray smiled.

Like Gavin, Michael was nervous, hands balling into fists and releasing while Meg stepped back to give him the spotlight. Ray tilted his head while he waited. He really had no idea what was going on.

“‘I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I’ve ever had, and no matter what happens to us in the future, every day we are together is the greatest day of my life. I will always be yours,’”

Meg and Ray caught each other’s eye and started giggling while everyone clapped. They were halfway back to their seats when they were stopped, “Michael, I'm curious as to why you chose that quote,”

“What do you mean ma’am?”

“You've made it very clear this entire time that you hated Sparks, and now… This? I'd like to know what changed your mind?”

Everyone was staring at him but his eyes were again trained on Gavin’s desk. “It was the only quote I could find that meant something,” he answered finally. His voice was strong and it had everyone nodding in approval.

The final bell had just rang when Gavin came back, eyes rimmed with red while he avoided Ray’s gaze and packed his things. Ray reached out for him but he ducked away and walked towards the door. “See you tonight?” Ray called after him.

He turned briefly, before giving a nod and continuing. Ray’s phone buzzed in his pocket and when he pulled it out he saw that he was added to a Facebook group chat along with Ryan, Jack, Geoff and Lindsay, as well as Meg who started the conversation with a video and a winky face.

The quality was shit but it was of Michael stood in front of their entire English class and reading the sappiest Nicholas Sparks quote to date. Ray would never tell anyone that he saved it.

~~~

Gavin was not having fun.

They had met at Griffon’s house two hours ago while everyone ran around to make themselves look great and help each other with hair and makeup.

So far Meg had cried in frustration because there was one piece of hair that wouldn’t curl, Lindsay had almost ripped her dress on the zipper when she was taking it out. Caiti couldn’t find her earrings and Griffon was missing a shoe. Ray was pretty calm, until he realized that he couldn’t remember how to tie a tie and Griffon’s dad had to come help him.

“You too Gavin?” he asked when he was done and it was then that Gavin realized he was still wearing his tie undone on his neck, both sides draping over his shoulders.

“Please,” he tried to sound polite, enthusiastic even, but he was so bored and so annoyed and God if someone asked him if they could put makeup on him one more time he was going to leave.

They had another hour before prom even started but still the girls were acting like they were late and Gavin’s phone was broken so he couldn’t play Angry Birds and _holy shit this night is going to kill me._

Ray came and plopped down on the couch next to him, watching the girls silently struggle with the stupidest things. Griffon had just given up on her other shoe, walking towards the stairs to get a completely different pair when she spotted a silver sandal under the first step and squealed excitedly. Caiti was still struggling with her search and refused to give up because she would’ve had to sacrifice her amazing hairdo that Meg and Lindsay worked on for over an hour. Meg finally managed to get a slight curl going and tucked the strand back with a bobby pin and Lindsay had successfully put her dress on and was now standing in front of a mirror grinning proudly at herself.

“Cheer up,” Ray whispered swaying towards Gavin to bump their shoulders together.

“I don’t wanna be here,” he mumbled.

“Gavin, we graduate in a week, just come to prom,”

“You know, I think I’m gonna go home,” he said making to stand. Unfortunately the others had heard him and were turning towards him with looks of disapproval.

“Gavin, it’s your senior prom,” Meg sang, walking over and planting herself on his lap so he couldn’t move. “Go, have a good time, forget your troubles for the night,”

“I don’t even have a date, I’m going to be sitting at our table like a sad sack all night,”

“Meg and I can be your dates,” Lindsay offered.

“I don’t want to third wheel,” he stated. Griffon and Caiti had come over now too and were standing around cautiously.

Ray started ignoring him, opting to text someone on his phone and a few minutes later he was answering it and dragging Lindsay into the hallway. He had no idea who they were talking to and he couldn’t exactly hear their conversation over Meg rambling in his ear about the importance of making a statement at prom.

“Gavin,” Lindsay said when she returned, she had an evil smile on her face and it made him queasy. “You need to go,”

“Why’s that?”

“You owe me a dance for making me dump my boyfriend,”

Gavin wasn’t the only one that cringed and when Meg turned around to argue she must’ve seen something in Lindsay’s eyes because instead she just said, “yeah, you owe my date a dance,”

“Fine, Jesus. For the record though,” he snapped, “I didn’t make anyone do anything,”

“It’s almost time to leave,” Griffon stated with a clap, trying to defuse the situation. It worked because then Caiti was running back over to her bag and searching one last time for her earrings when Griffon told her to go check their bedroom one more time. She took off at lightning speed and when she came back she was holding them proudly, thanking Griffon for her excellent memory and rushing to the mirror to put them on.

“The guys are here!” Meg announced when she pulled the curtain back and saw a black limo in Griffon’s driveway.

“Let’s go!” Griffon cheered calling out a goodbye to her parents and pulling the door open.

~~~

Michael was nervous.

He and Gavin were the talk of the night at Geoff’s house while everyone rushed around to make sure they had their vests and ties on straight. He tried being optimistic, but he was literally going in without a real game plan and while Jack was right, it would be better this way, he couldn’t help the unsettling feeling pooling in his gut.

“-and then you’ll run off into the sunset together,” Geoff finished what was probably his third scenario for the evening. Michael just nodded and leaned back, one hand resting on his stomach to try and calm himself down. “Dude?” Geoff said moving to sit next to him. He held a hand up to signal he wasn’t in the mood but none of the fuckers listened.

“You’re gonna be great,” Ryan assured. He at least kept his distance. Jack and Geoff were sitting on either side of him now, too close.

“Yeah man, just tell him how you feel,”

“Ray told us about English class. There’s no way you can fail,” Jack added.

“Don’t say that,” Michael groaned hands covering his face. “Now it’s going to go absolutely horribly wrong,”

“I don’t think so,” Geoff sang but Michael’s hand shot out and caught him in the arm silencing him. “Fine,”

“What if he’s going with someone else?”

“Why would he be?”

“He isn’t,” Ryan said confidently. “Ray would’ve told us,”

“What if he-” he started but then Ryan’s phone buzzed, a small tone that they all knew was Ray’s and they waited patiently for him to open the text.

“Gavin’s having second thoughts,”

“Give me that phone,” Michael snapped holding his hand out. Ryan placed it in his palm and then he was calling Ray, waiting only seconds before he answered.

“Get Lindsay and leave the room,” he ordered. Ray did as he was told and Michael could hear Meg in the background, talking to Gavin he assumed.

“What’s up?” Lindsay asked when they were a safe distance away and he was on speaker phone.

“You make sure he’s there,”

“Working on it,”

“I mean it, it’s gonna be kinda hard for me to do this if he isn’t even there,”

“We are aware,” she said. Michael could practically see her rolling her eyes.

“Do whatever it takes, you’re persuasive,” he added.

“Yes sir,” she said and Michael knew she was saluting the phone. He rolled his eyes and hung up, turning back to the others and taking a deep breath.

“I can’t do this,” he stated, pacing the room. “I’ve got to, but I can’t,”

“You can,” Geoff encouraged.

“You will,"

“It’ll be great,”

“I need something,” he said looking around the room, patting his pockets as if his new suit was going to hold the answers.

“What? A shot?” Geoff asked inching towards his liquor cabinet.

“Nope,” Jack said immediately grabbing his arm. “You’ll look for any excuse,” he laughed.

“I need… I don’t know,” Michael sighed frustrated.

“I don’t know how to help you man,”

“Like a- a- a good luck charm! I don’t know, something… something good, ya know?”

“We leave in like two minutes,” Geoff explained looking around the room.

“I know… wait! I know what I need. You guys go, I’ll meet you there!”

“Are you sure?” Ryan asked grabbing his arm.

“Positive, I need to make a few stops,” he grinned, rushing towards the steps.

“He’s insane,” he heard Jack laugh as he reached the top. He didn’t care though, he had stuff to do. The limo had just pulled up when he walked out of the house. He waved at the driver and got into his car, backing out quickly and heading towards his house.

Luckily neither of his parents were home otherwise they would’ve made him stop so they could take countless pictures and talk about his plans for after and how cute he looked until he missed the event all together. He parked along the curb and ran to the door, fighting his keys until he found the right one and shoved it in the door.

He knew exactly what he was looking for and where it was so when he opened his bedroom door and saw the small blue diamond necklace on his nightstand, next to his glasses case because he had decided to try out his new contacts for the night. He undid his tie and put the necklace on, tucking it under his shirt and redoing his silver tie, the only pop of color on his body and then ran out the door and back to his car.

Instead of heading towards the school for prom though, he took a detour and ended up in Gavin’s driveway next. His mom was home when he knocked on the door and she looked both impressed and confused.

“Don’t you look dashing,” she grinned.

“Thanks,”

“What are you doing here though? Gavin is getting ready at Griffon’s,”

“Yeah, he asked me if I could grab something for him though and I thought I had time so…” he shrugged. She accepted this and opened the door wider allowing him to run upstairs and push Gavin’s door open.

This one was going to be harder to find because he had no fucking idea where Gavin kept his creeper when he wasn’t wearing it, probably because he was _always_ wearing it. Except the last week or so when he was too scared to even make eye contact with Michael, not wearing his necklace, not wearing the _Touch My Awesome Button_ shirt, nothing related to Michael at all. Except maybe the pajama pants he had gotten him because they were laying on the floor next to his bed and the slippers were placed neatly in front of his dresser so Michael figured he’d start there.

After searching through three drawers and trying very hard to make it look like he hadn’t been there he was about to give up until he opened the bottom drawer and saw the red t-shirt that was once his folded neatly, it was the only thing in the drawer and when Michael pulled it out he almost fist bumped because the necklace was laying right underneath it. It was moments like these that made him think he could do good as a detective.

With one around his neck and the other tucked safely in his pocket he was able to take a few more deep breaths in his car before he started towards the school, ready to confess his love and hopefully get a new start at an old love.  


	36. Chapter 36

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Their school gym had completely transformed. The walls were lined with twinkling white lights and there were archways covered by twisting vines lining the red carpet they had to walk through to get to the buffet. Every table had a soft red cloth and giant glasses of water along with flower center pieces and cushioned seats.

Along the back wall where the DJ booth was there was also a line for pictures to be taken against a white sheet and a table with a rather large chocolate fountain and treats to dip. Caiti was mesmerized. She had grabbed Jack’s hand the second they entered and pulled him further into the room, completely abandoning their friends so she could take it all in from the middle of the empty dance floor.

“It’s beautiful,”

“It’s the same as last year,” Jack said questioningly.

“No, this is different!” she grinned. “It’s the perfect last dance of high school don’t you think?”

“I mean, it’s nice,” he shrugged.

“Be happy with me,” she urged, pecking him on the cheek and scanning the find where their friends had ended up. They were sitting around a large table in the corner of the room, talking quietly while other students started filing in.

They took the two empty seats between Geoff and Ryan and joined the hushed conversation about when Michael would be showing up while Gavin was distracted with Meg and Lindsay brushing through his messy hair.

“I styled it like this for a reason,” he swatted at them.

“It looks like you just woke up,”

“It’s feathery!” he defended, making to stand. “I’m getting a drink,” he announced stalking away.

“This night is gonna be rough,” Jack mumbled.

“Unless it isn’t,” Ray sang on the other side of him, bouncing in his seat.

“Why are you all excited?” Ryan laughed.

“I have been waiting a long fucking time for this to happen,”

“Not as long as Gavin has,”

“Oh please, I’ve known them since they met. I was waiting before they knew they were waiting,”

“Yeah yeah, let’s just wait it out,”

He returned a few minutes later with a drink and a plate of food that motivated everyone else to get up and start their way through the buffet line. They made small talk when they came back but mostly the tables around them drowned them out, loud voices arguing with their friends or significant others about their lack of matching or them not wanting to dance. It mostly left Geoff and Griffon in fits of giggles while Ray and Ryan pretended they couldn't hear everything and everyone else just tried to keep themselves busy on their phones.

“I'm just saying you were supposed to get lilac,”

“I thought plum looked better,” her boyfriend shrugged.

“You don't just get to decide that,” she snapped. “You need to consult me on these things,”

“That could've been us,” Jack whispered in Caiti’s ear causing her to finally lose it and start laughing loudly. When the girl at the table next to them turned and glared at her she stood up and grabbed Jack’s hand pulling him towards the dance floor.

Not many people had gathered there yet but those that had were dancing wildly, wanting to enjoy their last big high school dance. They stayed on the outskirts of the crowd while they came down, trying to catch their breath.

“You can't do that to me,”

“It's true! If we hadn't have gone and gotten the right color you would've resented me forever,”

“That's not true,”

“Oh it is, we don't fight so that would've been the breaking point,”

“Who knows? One day we'll have a real fight, it'll be great,”

“Yeah, we won't talk for a week and then I'll show up at your house with vanilla ice cream,”

“And I'll take you back,”

“And you'll let me paint you like one of my French girls,”

“And my house will fall into a sinkhole?”

“In true Titanic fashion,”

“Then I look forward to it,”

“What? Hating me? Me too,” he rolled his eyes.

“I'll never hate you,” she laughed.

“If I didn't have the right color tie on right now you would,” he sang, wrapping his arms around her waist when the music changed and pulling her closer. Most of their friends had joined them on the dance floor now, all except for Gavin who was sitting at their table on his phone.

“Where is he?” They heard Griffon ask Geoff when she also turned to look for the Brit and found him alone.

“Fuck if I know,” Geoff shrugged. “He'll be here,”

“What if he gets cold feet?” Caiti cut in pulling Jack just a little closer.

“I've never seen Michael so excited about anything in his life. He'll be here,”

As if on cue the doors to the gym opened and everyone turned to see who was late, most of them turning away when they saw it was only Michael, except for his friends that nearly cheered. Caiti grinned at him when he looked over and shot him a thumbsup but he didn’t walk over to Gavin like they were all patiently waiting for, instead he adjusted his tie, dug both his hands into his pockets and started towards them on the dancefloor.

“What are you waiting for?” Griffon hissed when he reached them, he casually looked over to their table and caught Gavin’s eye, turning away quickly.

“The right moment,” he deadpanned. “I don’t wanna rush this and I don’t think this very second is right,”

“Whatever you say,” Geoff rolled his eyes looking back at Griffon.

“I’m gonna grab a drink and sit with Lindsay and Meg for a bit,”

“Michael!” Ray called after him, they all turned to him expecting some sort of sassy comment but instead he just smiled softly and said, “if I don’t get to talk to you again before you do it; good luck and we all love you,”

“Thanks,” he beamed.

“This night is gonna be interesting,” Jack announced then earning nods all around.

“Way better than last years prom,” Geoff laughed.

“Amen to that!”

~~~

Geoff and Griffon hadn’t touched the dance floor again in over an hour, too busy watching Michael where he was leaning against a wall across the room with Barbara, Meg and Lindsay, and looking over at Gavin who was still sipping at his punch and scrolling around on his phone. Geoff wanted so badly to just get up and charge the DJ stand, announce that Michael had something very important to say so everyone would focus on him and he’d have to pull his head out of his ass but he didn’t. Mainly because he had voiced this to Griffon earlier and her hand slid into his, gripping it tightly so he couldn’t move.

Ray and Ryan were busy watching them and Geoff noticed, sticking his tongue out every time one of them looked over at Geoff or Griffon and leaned back to whisper to each other.

Finally the two approached them. Ray dropped himself on Geoff's lap and Ryan dropped his hands on Griffon’s shoulders. “You guys can't spend the whole night waiting over here,” he announced.

“Yeah, when it happens it happens, come dance and enjoy your fucking night,” Ray urged.

“They're right,” Griffon said patting Ryan’s hands and making to stand up. Geoff didn't move for another moment which led to all three of them grabbing him and hauling him up.

“Gavin, come dance,” he ordered once he had shaken them off.

“No thanks,” he didn't even look up.

“It wasn't a question,” his voice was stern and it made Gavin's head turn towards him, but he didn't look annoyed or worried, just bored. “It's your senior prom. Bust a damn move,”

“You wouldn't say no to a lady would you?” Griffon pouted, reaching towards him.

Because the dance Gods hated them, the song changed to something slower and since Gavin wasn't expecting anyone to be slow dancing with him he pulled away from Griffon with a small smile. “After this song,” he promised.

They both knew he wouldn’t, but because Ray and Ryan were still waiting patiently they get it go. They followed them out to the floor, occupying the space next to where Jack and Caiti were wrapped around each other, whispering little things in each other’s year, making them both smile stupidly.

Geoff got close to Griffon, pressing his forehead to hers and closed his eyes, moving back and forth and holding her against him. Of course the moment was just a little too tender for Geoff’s liking, so he had to ruin it by laughing.

Griffon pulled back with a raised brow, looking down to check that she didn’t have something spilled on her dress. When she looked down and saw the same deep purple that had been there all night she glared at him. “What?”

“I took my math final yesterday,”

“Isn’t it on Monday?”

“Yeah, but I asked to take mine early because I had been studying and didn’t want it to drag me down,”

“I could’ve worked with you,” she scolded.

“I had Ryan help me a bit, but yeah…”

“Did you do okay?”

“Pretty sure I flunked,” he admitted and for some reason he couldn’t stop laughing. “I studied for three days straight when I wasn’t working which was often, and I failed,”

“We don’t know that,” she grabbed his face and made him look at her. “You’re smart Geoff, I believe in you,”

“I know you do sweetie, and I usually do too, but I’m just saying, I might’ve fucked up,”

“We’ll figure something out,”

“You know, I could always just work full time to you could go halftime and we’ll live together while you go to school,”

“Maybe,” she said considering. Geoff wasn’t sure if she was kidding or not because he was very adamant about them going to college together and being successful.

“I’ve uh… I’ve been looking through some apartment ads,”

“Already?”

“Yeah, I found one really close to the school, and it’s kinda in the center of everything,”

“So you’re sure that if you don’t get in you wanna live together and work full time?”

“As long as I’m with you,” he pecked her.

“What if you passed and you get in?”

“Doubtful,”

“Humor me,”

“We could still live together, maybe get a place with Jack and Caiti so we don’t kill ourselves working,”

“That might be fun,” she grinned. The song was starting to fade into something faster and they pulled away, just a little though, until Jack and Caiti were pushing their way through them, dancing pretty inappropriately against them.

“Heard our names,” Jack said loudly to be heard over the music. “Talking shit?” he grabbed Geoff’s shoulders and pretended like he was gonna punch him.

“Yeah, we were talking about how horrible it would be to live with you two,”

“You just survived a year with me,” Caiti pointed out, bopping the other girl on the tip of the nose.

“Barely,” Caiti groaned. “You woke up too earlier and listen to loud music in the shower,”

“You made the playlist! And you make me leave it on for you when I’m done,” she argued.

“I’m clearly faking it,” Griffon rolled her eyes. Caiti stared at her for a long moment, eyes narrowing and eyebrows furrowing together.

“Well fine then, we won’t move in with you so we don’t kill ourselves working,” Jack said flipping his invisible hair and grabbing Caiti’s hand to make a dramatic exit but Geoff grabbed his other hand and pulled him back.

“If you heard our conversation why bother asking?” his tone was accusing but they all knew he was joking.

“We came in at the end,” Caiti shrugged.

“You guys are losers,” he rolled his eyes. They laughed and took each other’s hands again, going to leave the dance floor.

“Yeah!” Jack called back. “Oh and I’m sure you did fine by the way. You might get to try again,” he said confidently.

“I promised her that whatever grade I got I’d take,”

“Never make promises with a teacher,”

“Good luck,”

~~~

Michael had been stalling for over an hour. He knew it, he knew that the other’s knew it, if Gavin had any idea of what was going on he would’ve known it too.

See, he was fully prepared to tell him everything, to waltz in and walk directly up to Gavin and take his hand, speak so loud that he was heard over the music but not overpowering, he was ready.

Until he walked in and saw Gavin. He looked so bored where he was sitting with his head down, but then Kerry walked by him and bumped into his chair, apologizing instantly. Gavin looked up at him and smiled, telling him it was alright and Michael couldn’t breathe anymore. He looked so soft, so handsome, so… _hot._ Michael tried to force his feet forwards but he was frozen in place, trying to find the courage to just _do it._

Eventually he found himself with Lindsay and Meg for most of the night, trying to avoid dancing and talk about school with some people he hadn’t had a chance to talk to in a while. Now that he had waited so long to do this he really didn’t know how to go about it. He had missed dinner time and most of the slow songs, he was missing most of the night and it was Lindsay that finally cracked.

“It’s time,” she said seriously when another slow song came on. If Meg and Michael didn’t know what she meant they’d probably assume that she was going to murder someone. “I’m gonna go dance with Gavin, you’ve got until the end of the song or I’ll take over the microphone,”

She turned before he could even process it and made her way towards Gavin who looked shocked when he saw her moving so fast to him but then her hand was reaching out for his and she was beaming at him. It was a bit terrifying.

“You owe me a dance,”

“Where’s Meg?”

“Went to powder her nose,” she lied easily, but Gavin looked behind her to where Meg and Michael were standing and raised a brow. “Shut up and dance with me,” she sang cheesily. He sighed and grabbed her hand, letting her lead him deep into the crowd.

They started somewhere in the middle of the floor but as the song reached its first chorus they started shifting back towards Gavin’s original spot, mainly because the middle of the floor was too hot from so many bodies pressed close and also because the couples around them were either making out or arguing and they didn’t wanna get involved.

“I am sorry,” Gavin said eventually. And it wasn’t just because there was enough distance between them for them to look at each other and it was getting awkward, he did feel awful.

She shook her head vigorously. “Don’t be, really it’s okay,”

“Lindsay-”

“Gavin, I forgive you. I love you, you’re one of my closest friends and it’s all good,”

“Promise?”

“I swear on my life,” she smiled. He nodded, looking away but then she was swooping in and kissing him on the cheek, leaving him pink.

Someone cleared their throat next to them and they looked up to see Michael standing awkwardly next to them. He adjusted his tie and looked at Lindsay.

“May I cut in?”

She nodded and stepped away from Gavin. He tried to hide the pain in his chest and started to leave the dance floor, but then two arms were winding around his waist and pulling him back.

“I meant you Gav,” Michael murmured and Gavin’s breath hitched. This wasn’t happening. He was absolutely dreaming.

Gavin hesitantly wound his hands around Michael’s neck, keeping a good bit of distance between them. He wouldn’t look at Michael, didn’t want the other boy to see how much he missed him. The song still had another verse and the final chorus to go but Gavin didn’t know if he’d make it that long without exploding.

“I-” Michael started, but he snapped his mouth shut after and looked thoughtfully at Gavin.

Gavin waited patiently, keeping his gaze focused on Michael’s silver tie when something caught his eye. A little glint of blue and Gavin noticed the little cartoon diamond hanging around his neck. He looked up at Michael and saw that he was staring at him stupidly, with a dopey smile on his face that Gavin and everyone under the sun wouldn’t described as _fond._

"You're wearing your necklace," he pointed out lamely. 

"Oh yeah!" Michael said excitedly. He let go of Gavin with one hand, keeping the other tight on his hip and reached into his jacket pocket to pull out Gavin's green creeper. 

"Where did you-"

"I went to your house before I came here," he was avoiding eye contact and Gavin was just really confused and it was all just too much.

“I’m sorry Michael, I can’t do this,” he told him, stepping out of his arms and walking towards the doors, but Michael saw the pained expression on his face, saw the way he brought his hand up to his mouth as he walked outside.

He looked back to the table where their friends sat after noticing that none of their friends were dancing anymore; instead they were all sitting and watching him intensely. He looked at them helplessly until Ray stood up and shouted, louder than the soft ballad that was playing causing many students to turn and look at him, “Go after him dumbass!”

He bolted before he could even think, running right out the doors and spotting the Brit across the parking lot. Either Gavin didn’t hear him coming, which was highly unlikely since he was sprinting and his shoes were slapping loudly against the pavement, or he chose to ignore him because Michael managed to get in front of him and block his path in less than twenty seconds.

“I’m in love with you,” he blurted. Gavin flinched back as if he was slapped, eyes squeezed tightly shut. Okay, maybe that wasn’t the right way to announce it, but it was bubbling in his mouth, scratching at his closed lips to be let out.

“Michael…” Gavin warned holding his hand up.

“No Gav, listen,” he begged, taking the hand in both of his, “I am in love with you, and I am the world’s biggest asshole for not realizing this sooner, but Gavin-“ he was confident, sure of himself and what he was saying until Gavin pushed him away with his free hand and put at least five feet between them.

“You don’t get to do this. I waited for you! I’ve waited since the day we met. Eleven years Michael,” he shouted. “I waited up every God damn Friday night hoping that you’d suddenly wake up and realize that you loved me, and I’d be right there when you did so we wouldn’t have to wait any longer. I’ve loved you since you offered me your hand and picked me up off the ground on my first day. You don’t get to shut me out and then decide you love me too,” he was panting now, face red and eyes angry.

“So that’s it? I don’t get the chance to explain myself?” the redhead seethed. When Gavin opened his mouth though Michael cut him off, “actually I don’t care, I’m gonna talk and you’re gonna listen anyway asshole,” he pursed his lips and looked at Gavin intensely just waiting for him to argue, when he didn’t Michael smiled and nodded. Maybe it was a little harsh, but fuck, this was their _moment;_ the one they’d look back on and either regret or smile softly at. The one that would define everything that happened from that moment onto the rest of their lives. “A part of me has always loved you,” he started. “I just… I always thought it was a best friend kind of love, like family. I was so sure that you’d never feel that way about me so every time the idea came up I shoved it away, and when you did like me that way I panicked, I thought I was as straight as they come and you were just confusing me Gav. I was so confused and jealous all the time but I refused to accept that fact that I might be gay, or at least… very into you,” he stopped then, looking for the best thing to say next, Gavin was watching him closely, gaze held tight showing he was listening to every word.

“Gavin, I have a lot of regrets in my life and I’ve made a lot of mistakes, but the biggest one is that I didn’t love you sooner. I’m fucking pissed that I didn’t realize how I felt about you the night you met Meg, or the night you told me you were gay,” his voice was rough, almost like a growl as he spoke and Gavin’s eyes were so wide and unsure and _God dammit, I love him, he’s perfect._

“When I was little my mom would tell me to fall in love with my best friend, fall in love with someone that annoys you constantly, but you still find yourself wanting to fall asleep next to them. I told you once that I wanted a girl version of you, but I see now that it was always you I wanted. I’ve wanted you when you were pissed at me and didn’t wanna speak to me. I wanted you when you had just woken up and your hair was all messy and I wanted you when you were drunk and clinging to my arm for support because you forgot how to stand. I want you here and now. I love you,” he stepped forward and grabbed both of Gavin’s shoulders shaking him a little. The Brit shook his head and started pushing at him, but Michael wouldn’t budge, now that he was getting it all out he wanted to go on forever, wanted to write a novel, wanted to tell him with every breath he took from that moment on. He went to continue but Gavin beat him to it, voice tight and snappy.

“How do we know that you won’t wake up in a month and realize this was all a mistake because you pitied me or you were lonely,”

“It won’t happen Gav, I swear it. I’ve seen what life without you is like and dammit I could barely survive a month, how would I survive the rest of my life?” he chuckled lightly. When he saw how Gavin was still frowning at him he sighed and let him go. “You don’t have to be with me if you really don’t want to, but I know you Gavin, and you wanted that apartment together just as much as I did, you want a future with me and I want it too. Maybe I’m too late for you to love me, but I want you in whatever way you’ll let me have you. I want you and if it’s just as a best friend who sleeps in the room next door I’ll take it but please tell me I can have something,” he finally broke, stuttering and choked.

“Michael,” Gavin started, resolve crumbling, he couldn’t accept this, could he? He had wanted Michael since they were six years old, and here he was giving himself to Gavin.

“Gav, please tell me it’s not too late. Tell me it’s okay and we can try, please please please,” he begged.

Gavin was silent for a long moment staring at everything but Michael. He knew that there could be risks with this, but at the same time… this was what he wanted right? What he waited years for? Michael, standing in front of him in a big moment of honesty and- and love…

He blinked back the tears and met his best friend’s dark gaze, shaking his head lightly, smile playing at the corners of his mouth. When Michael started to question him he launched himself into the redhead’s arms, wrapping his own tightly around his neck. He was laughing, the loud squawking laughter that Michael loved to hear and then he was whispering, “You could never be too late my boi,” he buried his face in the crook where Michael’s neck met his shoulder.

“I love you Gavin,” Michael squeaked.

“I love you too Michael,” he responded.

They stared at each other, eyes searching faces, taking in every color in their irises and every freckle or mole. They were silent, just their breath puffing between them, and then Michael started laughing.

“What?”

“I’m a fucking idiot,” he shook his head. “And you still love me, I am so lucky,”

“Don’t say that yet, this is still the trial run,” Gavin added.

“What, you’re saying that if I’m not a good date in the first thirty days you’ll return me?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying,”

“Hey Gavin,” Michael whispered. His face was close and Gavin felt his face heat up. “I love you,”

“I love you too,”

“I’m never gonna stop saying it,”

“It’s gonna get annoying fast then,”

“You can deal with it though,”

“Happily,”

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” he nuzzled his nose against Gavin’s cheek before pausing. Gavin looked down at him to ask if he was okay when Michael was surging forward and connecting his mouth to Gavin’s and _finally._ Finally! Everything felt right. It felt great. Gavin’s mind was spinning, heart pounding and hands shaking when they came up to grip Michael’s face.

A part of him definitely thought he was dreaming, but after taking a few deep breaths through his nose and determining that yes, this was real, he was kissing Michael Jones. And Michael Jones loved him back.

“Wow,” Michael breathed when they pulled apart. “I love you. I love kissing you,”

“God if Lindsay had told me you were this sappy I would’ve backed out,”

“Not true, and believe me, I wasn’t this bad with her,”

“That must make me special,”

“It does,”

“The others are probably wondering where we are,”

“We just had this totally cool moment. You know, the one where I confessed my love for you and then we made out and you’re worried about the other’s? Fuck me then right?”

“Not yet,” Gavin wiggled his brows and Michael shook his head, pushing at the other’s shoulder.

“But really, it’s lame as fuck in there, we should leave,”

“And where do you suggest we go?”

“My place?”

“Do you think I’m some kind of slut Michael?” he asked trying to sound innocent, but he was grinning while he spoke and Michael rolled his eyes.

“We have a lot to talk about, but right now I wanna go watch a movie with you and cuddle,”

“Sounds good, I’ll text Geoff that we’re leaving,”

“I don’t think you have to,” Michael said looking over his shoulder. Gavin turned around to see their friends standing quietly at the entrance to the school building. They jumped when Gavin turned to them and started shoving at the people behind them so they could get back in and act normal but Gavin was already flipping them off.

“Dirty spies!”

“We love you!” Griffon called back.

“We’re leaving!” Michael announced, hand slipping easily into Gavin’s.

They were met with whistles and cheers from the others and a very loud, “use protection!” from Geoff. They didn’t offer a response to that, turning and walking to where Michael parked his car.

He walked Gavin to the passenger side door and when Gavin went to open it he stopped him with a hand on his arm and pulled him into another kiss, softer this time, not as desperate and searching, like he was finally just letting himself enjoy the fact that he could do this whenever he wanted now.

“What was that for?”

“Making up for lost time,”

“I like it,” Gavin mumbled, leaning in for another peck. 

“I like you,”

“Shut up,” Gavin laughed.

Michael beamed at him and went to get into the driver’s side and maybe he drove a little slower, soaking in the moment, but Gavin didn’t complain and he wasn’t going to ruin it by rushing. So they found themselves driving through dimly lit neighborhoods, hands clasped tightly on the center console with the windows down and crickets chirping in their ears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to all the people that called the prom thing many chapters ago. And yeah, I hope you enjoy it. There is actually two chapters left NOW because I kept looking at the wrong thing. So... yay.


	37. Chapter 37

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gonna be honest, not my best chapter, but I think I've done all I can with it.

[Playlist](http://8tracks.com/sorryicantbewhatuneed/it-was-always-you-1)

~~~

Ray and Ryan left shortly after Barbara and Aaron were announced king and queen. The night had wound down after Michael and Gavin left and when other students started leaving early they followed suit.

“I’m out,” Ray told Geoff and Jack, holding up a peace sign and heading for the doors where Ryan was waiting, suit jacket slung over his shoulder and hair falling into his eyes.

“Have fun, see you tomorrow!”

“What’s tomorrow?”

“Celebratory dinner,” Geoff beamed. Ray rolled his eyes and turned to walk away.

“Don’t act like you aren’t excited!” Jack called after him but he just held his hand up in a halfhearted wave and kept walking towards Ryan.

“Ready babe?” The blond asked holding his hand out to Ray.

“Where are we going?”

“You'll love it,”

“That doesn't give me a real answer,”

“Come on,”

They walked out of the school building and made their way to the sidewalk heading towards town. Ryan led the way, pulling Ray across streets and down alleys until they were standing in front of a small building with dark bricks and small windows. Above the door was a large flashing sign that read _Tattoos and Piercings!_ Ray turned to Ryan and raised a brow.

“Are you going to get a tattoo?”

“We're going to get tattoos,”

“Oh?”

“Come on, it'll be fun,”

“My mom would kill me,”

“Not if she doesn't see it,”

“Where would I get it then?”

“I don't know, your back?”

“What are we getting exactly?”

“Up to you,”

“What are you getting?”

“Well…” He smiled sheepishly. “You've gotta be okay with it,”

“Oh God, what are you getting?”

“I want to get an R on my ankle,”

“You are so gay,” Ray shook his head but he was blushing and grinning so Ryan took that as a good sign.

“Can I get it?”

“Don't ask me, it's your body,”

“But it's your initial,”

“Actually it's both of ours,” Ray pointed out.

“But it's for you,”

“Okay, but if things don't work out you can just say you're really self centered,”

“I'll hold onto that thought,” he chuckled.

“Let's do it,”

“What are you gonna get?”

“I'll figure it out when we get inside,” he said tugging Ryan’s hand towards the door.

“Did you just come from a wedding?” a heavily tattooed man asked when they walked inside.

“Prom,” Ryan answered walking towards the walls of designs.

“Nice, are you two just looking or are you planning on getting something?”

“I’m getting something,” Ryan answered looking over at Ray who was nervously glancing around the room before he met the eyes of the man and nodded.

“Me too,”

“Sounds good,”

As it turned out, Ray was the one offering to go first when Ryan got cold feet and ended up pacing the shop for ten minutes. He had pulled the curtain shut so Ryan couldn't see what he was getting and waited patiently for his artist, a man named Sean with no noticeable tattoos, to pick out the right colors and get the stencil ready. The man that greeted them, Justin, came for Ryan a few minutes later and brought him into the small cubicle across from Ray’s so if they both pulled their curtains back they could see each other.

It hurt. Like a bitch. And if Ray didn't want so badly for it to be a surprise he would've told Ryan to stop and come hold his hand, but he managed to bite his tongue and hold onto the arms of the chair until his knuckles were white and his mouth went numb.

“I think you're doing better than your friend over there,” Sean broke the silence that had settled over them when he went to change colors. When the buzzing sound stopped Ray was very clearly able to hear the small grunts and groans from across the way and he had to bite his lip to stop himself from laughing.

“Yeah, he's kind of a baby,”

“What is he even getting?”

“My first initial on his ankle,”

“That takes like 5 minutes,” Sean deadpanned.

“Yeah,” Ray laughed.

“So is he your boyfriend,” he asked and then the buzzing started again and Ray had to get used to the feeling again before he was able to answer.

“Yeah,” he said cautiously.

“Cute, Justin’s mine,” he laughed. Ray barked out a laugh and when Sean held his hand up for a high five Ray slapped it hard.

Ryan finished a few minutes later, standing awkwardly outside Ray’s little room because he was forbidden from entering while he and Sean gushed about their boyfriends. Eventually Ryan made his way to the waiting area and paid for both of their tattoos before sitting and sulking.

When Ray was done he pulled the curtain back and walked over to Ryan, sitting gently on his lap and kissing him on the lips. Ryan looked him over and when he didn’t see any wrapping around his boyfriend he raised a brow.

“Where is it?”

“Maybe if you behave I’ll let you find it later,” he winked.

“I’ll be a complete gentleman,”

“I’m not sure that’s true,”

“Only until I find it,” he sang.

Ray slapped him on the chest and stood up, walking up to the counter and pulling his wallet from inside his jacket pocket. “How much?”

“He already paid,” Justin said dropping his hand down on Sean’s shoulder and tugging him away from the register.

Ray turned around and glared at his boyfriend but all he got in return was a small pink tongue and an antagonizing hum.

They left shortly after, wishing the guys a good night and heading towards a small pizzeria in town to get take out. They walked the rest of the way to Ryan’s house where they had to tip toe in because his parents were asleep and discarded their pizza on Ryan’s bed while he rummaged for some clothes.

“I’ll be right back,” Ray said after taking the t-shirt and shorts he was offered but Ryan’s hand closed around his wrist and tugged him back.

“Since when are you afraid of changing in front of me?”

“Since I had something to hide,” he smirked, leaning up to peck the blond and leaving the room.

When he came back Ryan was lying on his bed with the pizza box closed on the floor below him. He was focused entirely on the TV so Ray took the opportunity to crawl onto the bed, straddling his hips and resting his hands over his chest.

“Hi,”

“Hello,” Ryan smirked bringing his hands up to Ray’s thighs.

“How’s your ankle?”

“Fine, hows your… wherever?”

“Sore,”

“Can I see it?”

“If you can find it,” he challenged.

“Easy,” he rolled them over so Ray was resting on the pillows and started running his hands up and down the boy’s arms. He started at Ray’s shoulders, light presses against his skin so he wouldn’t hurt him but he’d be able to feel if there was any wrapping. When Ray didn’t react his hands trailed lower, across his chest and stomach before he moved his hands down to Ray’s hips and raised a brow at the small hiss his boyfriend let out. “Found it,” he sang lifting the bottom of the t-shirt to reveal the saran wrapped ink. There were four circles in a line over his left hip, each was outlined in thin black and filled in with a different color, red, blue, yellow and green. He looked at it for a long time before he met Ray’s eyes again. “I don’t get it,” he whispered embarrassed.

“Twister,”

Ryan still didn’t get it but he wouldn’t admit that yet, giving himself a few moments to try and understand before it clicked. _Twister. Their first kiss._ He could feel his face heat up, sucking in a small breath before he looked back up at Ray and grinned.

“That’s so cute,”

“Shut up,” Ray looked away, lips pulled into a pout. He leaned down to kiss it away and felt Ray smile against his mouth before he pushed at Ryan’s chest just enough to pull them apart. “The pizza will go cold,”

“Let it,” Ryan grinned leaning down to kiss him again.

He knew they both liked cold pizza better anyway.

~~~

“Gavin will wear white,” Griffon stated confidently.

Geoff was tired. They had finally left prom only thirty minutes ago to spend the night at Griffon’s house and he was exhausted. He actually spent most of the night dancing and not enough time drinking and eating to keep his energy, so he was hoping that he could go home and cuddle with his girlfriend for a while until he drifted off to sleep. This was however not what he got.

Griffon was so over the moon about the new development in their friends lives that she had pulled out a notebook as soon as they got home and started writing down wedding ideas for the new couple.

“He looks good in black though,”

“Yeah, but Michael won't wear white,”

“Why does one of them have to wear white?”

“Traditional colors Geoff!”

“When have Gavin and Michael ever been traditional. They'll probably both wear grey,”

“Grey is the worst. I refuse,”

“It's not really your choice babe,”

“That's why I'm planning it all out now!”

“You're going to freak them out if you come at them with wedding ideas,”

“I'm not gonna come at them. I'm just gonna save this for a few years and whip it out when needed,”

“You're a crazy person,”

“Here, I'll also plan for Jack and Caiti so it's not as weird,”

“It's still weird,”

“Then I'll do Ray and Ryan too,”

“What about ours?”

“Shh,” she wasn't paying attention anymore though. She was bent over her desk, still in her prom dress with her tongue sticking out while she scribbled notes down. Geoff rolled off of her bed and undid his tie and top two buttons of his shirt before making his way up behind her. She had made a little chart with everyone's names and some colors underneath them along with the season that they had to get married in. Geoff shouldn’t have encouraged her, should’ve just waited until the excitement died down and she let it go but he just had to ask.

“Why are Jack and Caiti getting married in the fall exactly?”

“They got together in the fall” she clapped, spinning in her chair to face him. Her hair had fallen out of her ponytail from earlier, hanging over her shoulders and some of it had dipped over her eyes. She brushed it away and straightened her back before she started talking. “And by that logic Ray, Ryan, Michael and Gavin all have to get married in the spring,”

“So do we need to get married in the fall too?” he asked. He figured that she had never really thought about it, he didn’t. Well… he thought about marrying her all the time, but he didn’t really care what season it was in. Her face flushed dark and she looked away shyly and Geoff realized that maybe she had thought about it a few times.

She doodled in the margins of her notebook for a few minutes before she looked back at Geoff and perked up. “So anyway,” she started, “my dad said you can borrow some pj’s,” she stood up and walked out the door. Geoff laughed and shook his head, going to put his jacket and shoes by her computer desk. When she came back he had fully unbuttoned his shirt and was working on his belt buckle when he noticed her staring, lip caught between her teeth and eyes dark.

“Wanna take a picture?” he asked offering her his phone. She flipped him off and threw the clothes on the bed, walking towards her closet and looking for something to wear. He watched her, hands on her hips while she bounced from left foot to right before he walked up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. He dropped his chin on her shoulder and sighed, “I didn’t get the chance to tell you tonight that you look phenomenal,”

“You’ve told me that a few times tonight actually,” she smiled holding his hands over her waist.

“Not nearly enough,” he kissed the spot where her neck met her shoulder.

“My parents are downstairs,” she scolded lightly.

“Then lock the door and be quiet,” he murmured. His hands gripped her hips, turning her to face him so he could get to her lips. He stopped an inch away though, waiting for her to open her eyes back up and look at him, giving her the chance to say no but instead she rolled her eyes and pulled him forward.

It was fast and hard, her hands planted firmly on his cheeks, holding him still for her. He let her control it at first, but when the stairs started creaking and her parents started making their way upstairs for bed they broke apart quickly, moving almost completely across the room from each other before calling out a good night.

She shut the door, turning the lock as quietly as possible so no one heard and then turned around, pressing her back against the door and sighing in relief. “It’s risky,” she whispered, but her tone wasn’t very serious and when Geoff peeled his shirt off completely she stepped forward, just an inch.

“You like taking risks,” he moved closer. “Plus it’s not like Jack and Caiti are gonna be showing up here anytime soon right?”  When he was in front of her he reached behind her, grabbing the zipper at the top of her dress, tugging it down agonizingly slow.

“They went to his house,” she smirked, dress hitting the floor around her feet.

“Perfect,”

This time when their lips met it was slower, softer, longer. Hands roamed warm skin and helped clothes disappear, leaving a trail to Griffon’s bed.

“You sure you wanna take this risk?” Geoff asked teasingly before he reached over to shut the lamp on her nightstand off.

“Shut up,” she laughed, leaning up to kiss him again.

~

Griffon woke up to an empty bed, thin sheets wrapped around her naked body doing little to keep her warm. She figured Geoff was just in the bathroom so she made no move to get up just yet, letting the sunlight filtering through the windows beat down on her, trying to soak in the warmth like a cat. When Geoff hadn’t come back after ten minutes she slowly sat up, holding the sheet up just from paranoia that one of her parents would walk in and catch her, find out what she and Geoff had done the night before with them right down the hall, but it was quiet in her room, in the hall outside, on the entire floor actually.

She wasn’t entirely sure that anyone was in the house so finally she rolled out of the bed, grabbing her underwear and bra off the floor before going to find a pair of shirts and a tank top and make sure she looked decent. She had just walked over to her bedroom door and grabbed the knob when the door swung open and Geoff appeared making her scream and stumble back, hand over her racing heart.

“Jesus Geoff!” she shrieked.

“Sorry sorry!”

“God, why are you so quiet?” she hissed finally looking down and seeing that he was holding a plate of food in his hand, bottle of water under his arm. “What’s this?” she asked taking the bottle and walking over to her bed.

“Thought I’d make you breakfast,”

“So I’m definitely going to get sick right?” she asked cautiously biting into a piece of toast.

“Actually I thought I’d make you breakfast, until your mom stepped in,”

“Ah, sorry,” she laughed.

“Don’t be, I would’ve accidentally killed you,”

“Glad she took over then,” she laughed. “How long were you trapped down there?”

“About an hour,”

“Really?”

“Yeah, your dad joined in and we all talked for a while,”

“Oh? About what?”

“Prom, the weather, school, you,”

“What about me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,”

“Yes,” she deadpanned. He leaned across the bed and kissed her before he went to grab his suit and start changing into it.

“My mom is on her way to get me so I’m gonna head out and get cleaned up before dinner tonight,”

“Okay,”

She set the plate aside and stood up, walking him downstairs after he triple checked that he had his phone, wallet and all his clothes, and walked him to the door. “Love you,” he kissed the crown of her head and walked out the door when his mom pulled up.

“Love you!” Griffon called after him, waving at Mrs. Ramsey and shutting the door.

“You’ve got a good one,” her mom said from the living room.

“Yeah,” she grinned. “I do,”

Her mom smiled knowingly and looked back at the TV.

~~~

Michael was warm when he woke up. And not warm like a soft blanket and hot chocolate on a cold night, but he was fucking sweltering. His hair was matted to his forehead, body slick with sweat and if he had been wearing a shirt in the first place he was sure he would’ve ripped it off in desperation. He whipped the heavy blanket covering him off of the bed completely, sitting up and reaching for the window to turn the AC on. He kneeled in front of it for a few minutes, sighing in relief before he turned around and looked at the source of the sun like temperatures. Gavin was on his back in the middle of Michael’s bed, shirtless and sweaty like Michael, only he was a hairy son of a bitch and Michael knew that it was all his fault, but still he couldn’t help but grin at the beautiful boy in his bed.

He and Gavin had crashed into his room the night before, hands roaming the new territory above the waist, mouths breaking apart only to mutter, ‘I love you,’ before reattaching before they fell onto the bed in silent sappy bliss.

They had been respectful about boundaries and touching, hands lighting skimming stomachs and chests before they finally started settling down after nearly four hours of nonstop kissing and cuddling and started drifting off to sleep.

He wouldn’t lie. He had thought that kissing a guy would be fucking awful. That it would be awkward and forced and he would hate it, but it turned out to be effortless. And maybe that was just because it was Gavin he was kissing and they had come close countless times before, but it was nice. Gavin was nice. Gavin’s mouth was nice. Being with Gavin was more than nice.

Now Michael looked down at Gavin and sucked in a breath. He was so cute when he was sound asleep and it wasn’t exactly the first time Michael had noticed this, but it _was_ the first time he had just openly let himself believe it and think it and hold onto it. His hair had fallen away from all the goop he had shoved into the night before, sticking out in all sorts of odd angles and down in his face. His cheeks and chest were pink, probably from the heat, and his lips were parted while little puffs of air came out.

Michael knew the moment wouldn’t last, that when Gavin woke up things would be different. Gavin’s biggest fear had been made perfectly clear, that Michael would wake up the next day and realize it was a mistake, an experiment gone wrong, but he didn’t feel that way at all.

It should’ve been overwhelming probably, made his head spin and heart race, but he was oddly calm watching his new boyfriend sleep. He enjoyed the silence of the room. His phone had been shut off the night before when Ray had called him three times while Ryan called Gavin, finally he and Gavin broke apart, hit the power button and tossed their phones aside. There was no more buzzing or popping of lips, no music playing in the back, his mind was clear, he was just relaxed.

He didn’t know how long he had been staring at Gavin when he started to stir, eyebrows furrowing and eyelids twitching. When he finally blinked his eyes open, looking around the room to get his bearings Michael noticed he was shivering. Before Gavin could sit up or turn to look for a blanket Michael was lunging forward, laying over the Brit’s body, arms crossed on his chest with his chin on top. Gavin looked at him dumbly for a minute like he had completely forgotten everything that had happened before his face broke out into a wide grin. “Hi,” his voice was gravely and Michael thought it was the cutest thing ever.

“Hey,” Michael pecked his chin since it was the only thing he could reach. “Guess what?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s the next morning and I’m still in love with you,”

“Shut up,” he laughed trying to sit up but Michael’s weight kept him pinned. “I have to pee,” he whined.

“You’re so soft though,”

“Move,” Gavin ordered and Michael did so reluctantly, watching as Gavin stumbled around the redhead’s bedroom, shaking his head in a poor attempt to wake up faster. He was wearing a pair of Michael’s pajama bottoms, a little too big on his hips and short on his legs, and nothing else.  
They hadn’t really separated since their first kiss so Michael found it odd that he immediately missed the other’s company, warm skin under his searching fingers, soft hair tickling his neck.

Gavin walked back in the room a few minutes later with a blank face and tense shoulders. Michael reached for him immediately, wanted to pull him to lay down and cuddle but instead the Brit sat hesitantly at the end of the bed.

“None of that,”

“What?” Gavin looked startled, turning towards him.

“Talk to me,”

He was quiet for a long time, looking directly at the wall in front of him instead of Michael. He opened his mouth a few times to speak, little sounds ripping from his throat before he shoved them back down and tossed it over in his head again. Michael was quiet next to him, giving him time to voice his thoughts before he finally looked cautiously over at the redhead. “I just… Michael,” he sighed. “You swear that you’re still sure?”

“A million percent positive,”

“Okay,”

“Look Gavin, let’s talk about this,” he reached across the bed for the other boy’s hands and pulled him so he was sitting with his knees against Michael’s, face to face. “I don’t want things to be weird between us now. I don’t want either of us to be walking on eggshells. I want us to communicate,”

“God, when did you get so into relationships,” Gavin laughed.

“Since I realized that I didn’t wanna fuck this one up,”

“So you purposefully ruined the other ones?” he teased. Michael could appreciate the joking tone since it definitely beat the alternative of Gavin not knowing how to talk to him anymore, not know what was too far.

“I think my subconscious knew that I had to ruin it for you,”

“I wish your subconscious could’ve worked a little faster,”

“Believe me, I do too,” he leaned forward to kiss Gavin and it felt different this time, like this one was the one that was really sealing the deal.

Gavin pulled away first, trying to hide his dumb smile but Michael moved forward, pressing his forehead to the other’s and grinning stupidly back. “What do we do now?” Gavin whispered.

“I mean, we’ve practically been dating forever now, so we can take it slow. And Gav, you’ve got to promise to talk to me if you’re doubtful,”

“I think I should be saying that to you,”

“No doubts,”

“It might change,”

“Gavin,”

“Michael,”

“I’ll tell you the second anything comes up. It won’t, but I’ll let you know if it does,”

“That’s all I ask,”

They moved forward to kiss again but then Gavin seemed to remember their abandoned phones and pulled back, reaching for his dark phone to turn it on. “Jesus,” Michael muttered when all the texts started flooding in.

“I’m popular,”

“They’re all from Geoff shut up,”

“He says we better show up to dinner tonight or he’ll castrate us both,”

“Sounds lovely,”

“I’m gonna go call him,” he made to stand but Michael caught him by the wrist.

“Not yet,” he tugged him down onto the bed. “Watch a movie with me and cuddle,”

“Just like old times,” Gavin smiled.

“No changes,”

“Okay,” he tossed his phone aside.

~~~

Michael and Gavin were late.

They were also ignoring Geoff’s calls.

“Calm down,” Ray laughed. “God, it’s like you’re a mother meeting her son’s boyfriend for the first time,”

“If Griffon and I had a kid our age it would absolutely be Gavin,”

“I hope not,” Griffon mumbled next to him, but it was louder than intended and everyone laughed.

“Gavin would be a great child,”

“He’d be a needy one,” Ryan rolled his eyes.

“He is sunshine,” Geoff argued passionately.

“I didn’t say he wasn’t a good guy, I’m just saying,”

“Have you seen him when he’s sick?” Ray sighed. “He turns into a two year old that both loves and hates everything,”

“I had to wipe his nose for an entire day once,” Jack added.

“So he can’t take care of himself,” Geoff shrugged. “But he is my son,”

“What the fuck are you guys talking about?” Michael asked when he finally walked into the restaurant, hand wrapped around Gavin’s.

“Aye!” Ray said loudly, startling some of the other guests. The others at the table cheered and it made both boys turn bright red.

“Stop,” Gavin hissed taking a seat next to Ray.

“Let us praise you,” Geoff demanded. “We have been waiting since birth for this,” he grinned.

“You haven’t known us since birth,” Michael deadpanned.

“Whatever,” the eldest waved him off, standing up and picking up his plastic cup of water. He tapped his knife against it a few times and it made a dull clicking sound, not nearly as nice as a real glass, before he started speaking. “This dinner is in honor of Michael and Gavin finally getting their heads outta their asses,”

“Mine was never in!” Gavin said proudly earning a smack on the shoulder from his new boyfriend. “True fact,”

“He has a point,” Ray sang, looking away when Michael glared at him.

“I’m a little behind sometimes, sue me,”

“I was about to,” Caiti stuck her tongue out.

“So is this dinner just for you guys to shit on us or is there something else?”

“I mean, we graduate in a week, I thought it would be nice if your bitch asses could take a few hours to hang out with your friends,”

“We are all going to college together,”

“We don’t know that yet,” Ryan said looking pointedly at Gavin.

“I sent in my application,” he squeaked.

“A month late,”

“Could’ve been worse,”

“He can join us next year then,” Geoff said quickly. “But until we have a real answer we are all going to be together forever and live happily ever after,” he declared.

Griffon knew he had been taking graduation pretty hard, and she was pretty sure she was the only one he had told about bombing his math final so she knew that he wasn’t just trying to reassure Gavin. She reached up and rubbed his back, smiling at him when no one else looked and mouthing ‘I love you’. He smiled at her and looked away, disappointed no doubt and she knew they’d be talking about it later.

“Now,” she said addressing the others, “let’s eat and relax,”

“This year’s prom or last year’s?”

“Neither,” Griffon answered immediately.

“This year,” Michael beamed grabbing Gavin’s hand on top of the table and rubbing his thumb over the back of the other’s hand.

“Oh God,” Ray groaned. “They’re _that_ couple,”

“Honeymooning!” Caiti cooed.

“Let them be in love,” Jack scolded the other boy lightly. “Your brother found his soulmate,” he said in a high pitched voice.

“But mom!” Ryan whined. “They’re being gross at the dinner table,”

“Why am I friends with you guys?” Geoff asked no one in particular, looking up at the ceiling.

“Cause we are fucking amazing,” Michael answered like it was obvious and Geoff supposed that maybe it was.

“What’s everyone’s schedule look like for next week anyway?” Gavin asked. “Do we have graduation rehearsal everyday or…?”

“Monday is finals and everything else is practice,”

“I think it’s stupid we have to learn how to walk,”

“It’s in time doofus,”

“It’s gonna suck,”

“Yeah, Gavin can barely walk at all. He’s gonna fall and embarrass all of us,”

“I’m gonna do so good,” he said proudly. “Just for that I’m gonna boobytrap it and make it so you slip,”

“Will you record it in slow motion?”

“If you’d like,”

“Play it at your wedding,” Geoff said without thinking. He didn’t know if it was okay to joke about it yet but neither boy blew up at him, instead they turned to the person next to them and started talking about their experience after prom, but their hands were still clasped on the table. “Oops,” he whispered to Griffon who just laughed and kissed him on the cheek. 

"Wait," Gavin said, "you got a tattoo!" 

Ray had been leaning close to him, whispering obviously but Gavin couldn't hide his excitement. "Let me see!" Everyone else was looking now too and Ray stood up to lift his shirt enough to show them the newly marked skin. "I don't get it," 

"It's the twister board," Ryan said proudly. "I'll show you guys mine later,"

"You too!" 

"It was his idea," Ray laughed.

"No way," Jack laughed. "I would've never seen that coming," 

"Me either," Ray rolled his eyes. 

"Where is it?" Gavin asked reaching across Ray's seat to swat at the blond. 

"It's on my ankle so I'm not gonna stand up and throw my leg up onto the table to show you," he slapped him away.

"Fine," Gavin huffed. 

The conversations split up again and Geoff found himself staring dumbly at his plate, but he wasn't touching it and he made no effort to join anyone else. Griffon of course noticed instantly and leaned close to whisper in his ear. 

“Next week is gonna be amazing,”

“I hope so,” he huffed. “Maybe for you guys, I might just get to go home early and prepare for summer school,”

“Shut up,” she hummed. “You probably did fine,”

“Won’t know until Monday,”

“So stop worrying now and enjoy the damn weekend,” she said exasperated. “Look at the people around you,” she was speaking quietly so she wouldn’t alert the others, but there was a fierceness in her voice that made Geoff do as she asked. “They’re here for you, _I’m_ here for you and I know you did fine.” She looked over at the lads, sitting in a line across from them and smiled softly. “They look up to you, Jack and Ryan love you, and if you don’t get into college, if you don’t graduate, none of us will care. You’re Geoff and spending time with you is an honor. We want you to succeed and it’s okay if you don’t at first, but you’re giving up on yourself before you’ve even tried again,”

“I don’t know if I need to try again yet,” he pointed out and she glared at him, a hot look that told him to shut the fuck up if he wanted to survive this dinner.

“Exactly! So stop thinking the worst. You don’t know if you even need to worry yet,”

“Okay,” he muttered.

“Okay?” she got close to his face.

“Okay!” he held his hands up defensively and after a moment of her soul searching in his eyes she seemed to accept it and drop the subject. For now.

They joined the conversation their friends were having, a heated debate about taking a million dollars only for you to lose your sight whenever someone you found attractive was naked. The table was split evenly on who would do it and who wouldn’t and apparently they had been waiting for Geoff and Griffon to finish up their private talk for a few minutes to get their input.

“Can’t do it,” they both said looking dumbly at each other. Ryan, Ray and Gavin cheered while Jack, Caiti and Michael pouted.

“Okay, but what if,” Ray started. “You get a million dollars but once a week, you don’t know when, you sneeze so hard you shit yourself and you can’t change until bedtime,”

“So I could be in the middle of a work meeting and just shit my pants, then I need to sit there for hours smelling awful?”

“Yup,”

“What if we get sent home, can we change then?”

“Not until you go to bed,”

“That is fucking awful,” Michael decided. “I’ll do it!”

“Ew,” Griffon and Caiti both wrinkled their noses, looking shocked at their boyfriends when they both seemed to be contemplating the answer.

“I think I can do it,” Geoff said finally, nodding confidently.

“Not if you wanna be with me,” Griffon joked.

“Please, with a million dollars you’ll stay,”

“Oh, so I’m a gold digger?” she tried to sound offended but she was laughing through it so Geoff nodded vigorously.

“I know you are. You’re only with me cause I buy good Christmas presents,”

“I feel like if I was a gold digger I wouldn’t wait until Christmas time for you to buy me nice things. I’d demand them year round,”

“Is Geoff your sugar daddy?” Ryan asked seriously. Blink once for no, twice for yes,”

She blinked three times.

“I don’t know what that means,” he admitted after.

“It means fuck you,” she smirked.

The discussion continued until everyone else answered and went into detail about why they would or wouldn’t and Geoff caught himself leaning back with his hands behind his head while he watched the most important people to him talk about the stupidest things.

He was terrified about going into the next week, he’d admit that to himself and Griffon easily. He had ignored it easily when he was with Griffon the night before and that morning, but after leaving her house and walking into his room to start sorting through his backpack and get rid of old papers and books it hit him that he might just be unfortunate enough to need those very papers again in a year.

Before dinner he had sat alone in his bedroom for an hour, sobbing in the corner while he tried to find good plans and alternatives for himself just incase, but the only conclusion he could come up with was that he’d be alone.

The school was only four hours away from home, so it wasn’t like it was impossible for them to see each other every now and then, but it wasn’t like he was gonna drop out of high school if he didn’t get it. He would try again, get accepted into college _again,_ and go the next year. But still, a part of him assumed that maybe his friends wouldn’t want to be associated with him if he was held back, would want to move on with their lives and have college parties, focus on their harder work and relationships before worrying about their friend back home. It was an unsettling thought.

Now though, with Griffon’s hand on his thigh and Jack next to him, knee bumping his under the table, and Caiti’s infectious laugh bubbling up around them, Ray and Ryan’s kind eyes and quick jokes and Michael and Gavin’s bright grins and witty banter he thought maybe just maybe he’d be okay either way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is it guys. The end. I don't think I'm ready haha, but I hope you guys are!


	38. Chapter 38

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welp. This is it.  
> Thank you all so much for reading this and commenting and leaving kudos and just being awesome.  
> This story has been my baby since my sophomore year of high school and now I've graduated and I'm so happy and a little sad to be done with it.

The white folding chairs were a new kind of uncomfortable. First off, they were too close to the ground and they were too close to the rows in front of them so Geoff’s knees were bashing into the butt of the person in front of him, some random girl he couldn’t remember ever seeing around their school the last four years, and it wasn’t like he could lean back and try to fall asleep, he was at his fucking graduation ceremony.

He supposed he couldn’t be too annoyed with the chair. He didn’t really think he’d make it this far so maybe he should’ve been more grateful.

They were in a sea of red, caps in their hands while their principal gave the final speech of the evening. It was a little too cheesy for Geoff’s taste, long drawn out mentions about how far each of them had come, memories that the class had shared and all the amazing things that some of them had contributed to society.

It had been weird to hear his name echo throughout the school gym followed by cheering and applause especially by Griffon who may have broken the rules and stood up in her seat. His body went on auto pilot, walking up and shaking hands with his vice principal and guidance counselor, taking his heavier than expected diploma and walking back to his row to have his picture taken.

He passed Gavin on the way who was lucky to have an end seat so he could high five him when he walked by.

Now he looked across the room at Ryan and grinned. The blond’s eyes were misty and his smile was wide when he threw Geoff a thumbs up. He would’ve returned it but in one hand he was eagerly waiting to throw his cap into the air and finally be done, in the other was his diploma in a white knuckled grip.

“-so congratulations and good luck,” he finished. The crowd went insane, clapping and cheering while all the students looked around at each other and chucked their hats towards the ceiling, ducking when they came hurtling back down, sharp corners aiming for eyes.

It took him a few minutes to figure out where his cap had landed and when he stood back up he had only a brief second to prepare before Ray was leaping into his arms and hugging him tightly. “We did it!” the small boy whispered in his ear.

“Proud of us,” Geoff laughed. It was true, Ray ended up failing the last few tests he had taken in his history class which meant he absolutely needed to ace the final or he wouldn’t be graduating, and Geoff, who had bombed his math final was given a second chance thanks to Griffon sweet talking the teacher and with Griffon and Ryan’s help they managed to do just enough. They were done with high school and in a few months they’d be at college ready to take on the world.

“I knew we could do it,” Ray said jokingly, but Geoff knew that neither of them really thought they would.

“Do you wanna go wait outside?” he asked when he noticed most of the families had stormed the gym floor by now making it hard to see or move around.

It took fifteen minutes for everyone to meet up in front of the school with their families and when they did each boy was smothered by parents who hugged them and pinched them while they went on about how big they had grown as if they hadn’t seen at least one of them every week since they all became friends.

“You’re all coming over right?” Jack’s mom asked looking at the kids and their parents expectantly. “We’ve got everything set up for the night and there might be gifts,” she sang.

“Definitely,” Geoff grinned trying to make his way towards Griffon without being rude.

“Sounds good, it starts pretty much whenever the guests of honor arrive, so if you wanna go and change first or anything feel free,”

Slowly they started departing, claiming they had a few things to take care of before they forgot, Geoff included who told Griffon he needed to run home and then he needed her help with something. She didn’t think about it for too long before she was taking his hand and kissing her parents goodbye for the next thirty minutes or so.

“See you over there,”

“Sounds good,”

“Ready?”

“Yeah,”

When they got to Geoff’s car, out of sight from their parents he pulled her into a tight hug, taking a moment to let everything sink in. He refused to cry when he found out that he had done well enough the second time around to graduate, not when he got his paperwork signed by his principal, not when he got his cap and gown that morning and tried it on for the first time. Now though, with his girlfriend in his arms and everyone around them pulling away from the school for the last time and screaming out their windows he let himself get emotional.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” she asked trying to lean away to look into his eyes but he tightened his grip on her and buried his face into her shoulder.

“I love you so much,” he mumbled.

“I love you too,” she patted him on the back a few times and waited for him to be done before she moved away from him again. “I’m proud of you,”

“I wouldn’t have done this without you, so thank you,”

“Geoff this was all you,”

“You got me the retake,”

“But you’re the one that learned the material,”

“Only with your help,”

“Geoff, shut up and be happy for yourself,”

“I love you,” he said instead.

She rolled her eyes and decided to drop it. She was proud of him along with his parents, their teachers and their friends. She also knew that he was proud of himself too somewhere inside, and that was enough.

~~~

The ceremony was lovely, Jack and Ryan even won academic awards and scholarships along with about forty other students. Still, it was a long program and Jack realized that they had way more seniors than he’d originally thought, but he managed to sit through it and not get hit in the face by his cap when it came back down.

Getting out of the room had been a whole other ordeal, dodging elbows from hugging families and moving slowly through the crowd but eventually he found Griffon and made his way out, arm linked with hers.

After numerous pictures and praise they were finally released and Jack said goodbye to his mom and walked the short distance to his car, Caiti’s hand gripped tightly in his.

As excited and proud as he was, the end of the school year also brought the end of Caiti’s stay in America again. She was fully planning on going to college with them in the fall but that still left three months that they couldn't be together.

Three months without sneaking glances at her between bookshelves, making faces to get a giggle out of her. Three months without kissing her at the end of the school day and walking her to Griffon’s car. Three months without- well, her.

Sure they'd skype all the time but it wasn't nearly the same.

They sat in his car silently for a few minutes. Jack watched the cars clear out of the school parking lot, a lot of them for the last time, and took a deep breath.

“When do you leave?”

“Tuesday morning,”

“And you’ll probably spend all of Monday packing,”

“Yeah, but maybe you can help,” she offered.

“I will. Maybe we can have a Harry Potter day tomorrow,”

“Yeah, after I pick up my last paycheck,”

“Maybe you can work at the library on campus in the fall,”

“Yeah, maybe,” she sounded defeated and Jack knew she was really bummed about leaving.

“Don’t be so glum,” he reached out and lifted her chin, grinning wide to get some sort of smile from his girlfriend.

“Why are you so happy?” she snapped.

Jack’s eyebrows furrowed. “Caiti,” he whispered. “My heart is fucking breaking, but we’ve still got a few days. I don’t wanna waste them feeling sorry,” he brushed his thumb over her cheek, quickly wiping away the tear that fell from her bright eyes.

“You’re right,” she sighed. “I’m sorry,”

“It’s okay,” he took a deep breath. “Come on, let’s go get a milkshake,”

“Won’t we be late?”

“I want all the alone time I can get,”

“Okay,” she nodded.

“Plus,” he added, “while you’re home you know that Griffon and Geoff are gonna start looking at apartments for us so we have that to look forward to when you come back,”

“As long as you let me pick the bed set for our room,” she teased.

“What? Do you think I have bad taste?”

“I’ve seen your bedroom,”

“And it’s immaculate,”

“I’m not saying it isn’t clean, but the color scheme is all wrong,”

“It’s black and blue!” he defended.

“ _Navy_ blue and black,”

“So?”

“Too dark, you need a room with life,”

“I’m the life of the room,”

Caiti looked away so he wouldn’t see her laughing at him, but he caught the grin and reached over to poke at her side making her squirm. “Don’t,” she warned but Jack ignored her and soon he was leaning across her seat to tickle her. “Stop!”

“Say sorry,” he demanded, catching her hands and pulling her closer.

“No way,”

“Yeah?” he let go of one of her hands, moving back towards her waist but she caught it this time and held it tightly.

“I want a milkshake,” she smirked.

“Anything for you,” he sighed, leaning across to kiss her.

“I want a maroon bed set,”

“Fine,” he rolled his eyes.

“I love you,” she offered, poking his cheek to get him to smile.

“I love you too,”

~~~

Geoff was shaking.

He and Griffon had stopped at his house for only a few minutes so he could run inside and grab something, but now that it was in his jacket pocket he felt like he couldn’t breathe properly.

He had bought it a few weeks ago and figured everything out over time, but now that the moment was here and Griffon was completely oblivious, head resting against the cool glass of the window while she watched the familiar buildings of their city pass, he felt like it was so much bigger than it should’ve been.

And maybe it was. This was a huge step, but, they could make it, he was sure of it.

She didn’t question where he was taking her, didn’t say a word when he pulled up to the park and opened his door or when he took her hand and walked her towards the flowers that they loved so much.

They stopped at a small bench, sitting facing each other for a few minutes before Griffon finally spoke up.

“What are we doing here? We're gonna be late,”

“I know,”

“Okay?”

“Griffon, last week I talked to your parents for a really long time,” he started. She looked at him curiously, leaning back a little to give him room to breathe and figure out his words. It took so long that she started to look worried, so Geoff finally took a deep breath and looked right into her eyes.

“We’ve had some good memories here,” he thought of the first time they had said ‘I love you’ to each other and needed to stop before he got too emotional. “We’ve had some bad memories,” he powered through it, not wanting to give either of them time to dwell on their break up. “But I think it’s time we make an amazing memory,” he told her reaching for her hand and scooting closer. “Griffon O’Connel, I told you once that it took me forever to learn your last name because from the minute I laid my eyes on you I wanted it to be Ramsey. I have loved you for what feels like most of my life, and I think I’d quite like it if I got to love you for the rest of it as well,” he was getting choked up now and Griffon was definitely starting to catch on, her own cheeks becoming red, eyes misting over.

“You have made me laugh, you’ve made me cry, you’ve made me angry, but mostly, you’ve made me _feel._ You’ve made me feel things I never have, never even thought of. Griffon, I am so in love with you and I hope you’ll say yes when I ask you,” he paused, letting go of her right hand and sliding off the bench to get down on one knee. She brought her unheld hand up to her mouth and gasped when he reached into his pocket and pulled out a blue velvet box, opening it to reveal a glittering diamond. He looked up at her, eyes shiny and crinkly and he was grinning so wide that Griffon lost it, tears beginning to rain down her face. “Will you marry me?” She was nodding her head furiously before he even finished the question, throwing herself into his arms and kissing him passionately. He lifted her completely off the ground laughing into their kiss. When they stopped spinning and released each other so he could slip the ring onto her finger an elderly couple passed by and offered them their congratulations, causing them both to blush as they weren’t aware they had an audience. No matter how embarrassed they were though, they couldn’t keep the grins off their faces, hands clasped tightly between them.

“I- I can’t believe-” Griffon cut herself off, shaking her head and looking down at her hand to take in the new addition to her everyday life.

“You can’t say that you didn’t see this coming,” he laughed, running his thumb over the back of her hand.

“I mean, not so soon,” she laughed.

“Don’t worry, I want us to take our time with this, but I wanted to ask as soon as possible because going another day without being positive was going to kill me,”

“You just wanted to lock me in before we got to college and I found someone else,” she teased.

“Exactly,”

“Geoff, I love you so much,”

“I love you too Griffon,”

“God, I can’t wait to tell everyone,”

“Let’s go then,”

They rushed back to the car, hands never parting while they giggled like mad men.

~~~

Michael had been gone for ages. They had said goodbye to their families and promised to be at Jack’s ASAP but Michael apparently didn't mean it. When their parents were out of sight he took Gavin’s hands in his and told him he completely forgot to return his history book and he really didn't wanna get billed sixty dollars to replace it.

Gavin, like a good boyfriend sat on one of the many benches outside the main entrance of their school and waited patiently for the redhead.

For thirty minutes.

After two unanswered calls and numerous texts, Gavin finally got up and made his way back into the school building for what would probably be the last time. At least for a little while.

The other graduates and their families had cleared out by now and the halls were eerily silent. He had been in the hallways alone multiple times during classes, but the place had still felt like there was life inside of it. Now it felt abandoned, like no one would be returning to it Monday for the underclassmen’s last week.

He was heading for the staircase to his history hallway, but he found himself stopping at his locker for a moment, touching the cool metal again and spinning the dial to see if he’d left anything behind. It was grey and empty on the inside and the only thing that proved that it had ever belonged to Gavin was the black sharpie in the back that read _Hi Gavvers!_ In Geoff’s messy handwriting.

Luckily their vice principal didn't notice it when she did final locker checks for any damages or graffiti.

Gavin sighed and closed the locker, leaning against it and closing his eyes.

He tried not to think about what graduating high school meant. The future was fucking terrifying he had decided, and he wasn't ready for it. It's not like he could really protest now though. There was a diploma in his dad's car with his name across it and he was standing in a gown in the middle of his abandoned school hallway.

He checked his phone and found that he still had no replies from his boyfriend, so he continued down the hall towards the staircase.

Ray’s locker stopped him though. There was a small dent in the corner from that morning when Michael and Ryan were singing _Glory Days_ at the top of their lungs and had decided to add in some very poor choreography that ended with a stubbed toe, a dent, and a lot of cursing from Ryan.

Gavin supposed that they'd never get little moments like that again.

He finally made it to the stairs and took them two at a time until he finally made it to his old classroom and walked inside to find Michael sitting in his chair, staring intently at the door. He jumped when Gavin walked in, large textbook sliding off the desk and hitting the floor with a loud smack.

“Sorry,” he whispered.

“It’s okay,” Michael smiled.

“What are you doing in here?”

The redhead motioned him closer with a curl of his fingers. “I want you to see something,”

Gavin raised a brow skeptically but moved forward nonetheless. He stood in front of Michael and waited but he shook his head and reached out to grab Gavin’s hand pulling him behind his desk. “Look,” he said softly pointing towards the open door.

“Uh…”

“Do you know what happened right there?”

“We kissed there once?”

“Gavin, we’ve kissed in this building twice and they were both in the cafeteria,”

“Okay, then what are you getting at?”

“I fell in love with you right there,” he smiled.

“What?”

“I realized I was in love with you while you stood right there,”

“Okay?”

“Just let me enjoy this for a second,” Michael rolled his eyes.

“I mean… why stare at it when you could just stare at me?” the Brit smirked.

“Cause you’re an asshole,”

“You love me,” Gavin sang, putting his hands down on Michael’s shoulder and pushing him from side to side.

“Yeah,” Michael whispered putting his hands over Gavin’s.

It was quiet for a while before Gavin leaned down to kiss the top of the messy curls resting there. “Alright boi, what’s really going on in that mind of yours?”

“Just… the future is literally sitting on top of us now you know? Like, in three months we’re all moving out and it’s insane,”

Gavin had wanted to wait until they were all together at Jack’s house before he told them, but he thought maybe now would be a good time too. “Would it make you feel better if I told you I got my acceptance letter last night?”

Michael was out of his chair and facing Gavin in a second, arms around his waist lifting him up. “Asshole, why didn’t you tell me?” he tried to sound angry but he was grinning from ear to ear.

“I wanted to surprise everyone,”

He clicked his tongue, “should’ve called me first,”

“To be honest I was going to but I kinda thought it was a dream,”

“Idiot,”

“Smart enough to get into college,”

“At least I don’t have to live with some random moron,”

“Nope, just your favorite moron,”

“Works for me,” he smiled, but it dropped after a second and Gavin tilted his head in question. “Should we really live together in college?”

“What do you mean?”

“Well… what if something goes wrong?”

“Do you think it will?”

“God I hope not, but… what if I mess it up?”

“I don’t think you will,”

“I did pretty bad before,”

“Well, you didn’t know,”

“I should’ve,”

“Michael, nothing bad has happened yet. We can deal with it when we get there,”

“I hope we never get there,”

“Oh trust me, we’ll get there,” he reached out to touch Michael’s cheek, stroking his thumb across it lightly. “But we’ll be okay and if you really think it could be a problem we can live with Ray and Ryan or something,”

“If they want to,”

“We’ll talk to them about it when we get to Jack’s house like we were supposed to be an hour ago,”

“Has it really been that long?”

“Yup,”

“My bad,” he leaned down to pick up his book and leave it on their teacher’s desk. He reached for Gavin’s hand and pulled him out the door, stopping for only a moment longer to look at the wall again before Gavin whacked him on the head and shook his head.

“It’s important to me,”

“You’re such a dweeb,”

“I love you,” he said sheepishly, still rubbing the sore spot on the back of his head.

“If we get yelled at then I don’t love you anymore,”

“Yeah right, you’re love for me is endless,”

“Let’s find out,” Gavin sang skipping ahead. Michael rolled his eyes but still ran to catch up.

~~~

Surprisingly Gavin and Michael made it there shortly after Jack and Caiti had arrived as well as Ray and Ryan. Their parents greeted them kindly, shocked to see all of them still in their gowns but Jack claimed that if they had to pay money for them they were going to wear them for more than three hours.

“Whatever you say,” his mom laughed holding out a glass of gold liquid. He raised a brow and reached for it tentatively. “Don’t look so terrified, this is a big day, I think you can have a glass of champagne,”

“Okay,” he took a small sip and turned towards his friends to see them also accepting drinks from their parents with caution but after getting the okay they were right to it, throwing fists in the air and cheering their way over to the firepit.

“Go have fun,” his mom urged with a pat on the shoulder.

He kissed her on the cheek and went to join the others, following Ray over to get chairs while Ryan and Michael started working on getting some flame action going. He turned around just in time to see Gavin leaning closer before Michael pushed him back lightly, scolding him for trying to get himself killed.

“It’s not even lit yet!” the Brit argued.

“Yeah, but nothing good happens when you’re around,” Caiti said seriously.

“I resent that,”

“Sorry,” she shrugged, not sounding it at all.

Gavin moved away to sit glumly in the grass, waving Jack off when he offered him a chair to sulk until Ryan picked him up and dropped him into it after they were finally done setting everything up and the fire was coming to life.

“Where the hell are the others?” Michael asked after a few awkward minutes went by.

“He said he had to run home but I didn’t think it would take this long,” Jack answered with a shrug.

“Maybe we could try calling them?” Ryan suggested, phone already out of his pocket and unlocked.

“She said yes!” a familiar voice bellowed pushing the back door open and sprinting into the yard. Griffon held her hand up proudly and earned many ‘oooos’ and ‘awwws’ from their parents.

“You’re engaged?” Gavin yelled.

“That’s normally what an engagement ring means, yes,” Griffon teased but her cheeks were bright pink and she kept staring at the ground.

“Oh my damn,” Jack breathed. Geoff looked at him nervously. This was something they had talked about multiple times in the last four years although it had definitely become more often brought up in everyday conversations throughout the end of senior year. Though, they always agreed on ‘it’s too soon’ or ‘we’re too young’ but Jack knew that Geoff was going to do it. Granted he didn’t think it would be the day of graduation but Geoff was happy and that’s all Jack cared about. He walked over quietly and wrapped his arms around Geoff’s neck, yanking him into a fierce hug. “Congratulations,”

Geoff sniffled and nodded against his shoulder before he pulled back and wiped his eyes.

Caiti offered them each a glass of champagne after giving them both a kiss on the cheek, “join us by the fire!”

Over the next thirty minutes Geoff and Griffon both had to share their version of the story a few times to make sure that no detail was left out before Caiti and Gavin were cooing at them adoringly.

“Anyway, enough about us,” Griffon finished looking over at them.

“Yeah! High school is officially over!”

“Geoff, don’t remind us,” Ray sighed leaning back against Ryan’s chest.

“I’m serious guys! We’re free,” he threw his hands up.

“For three months and then an all new hell begins,” Michael muttered, but then he perked up, startling Gavin who had found his way to the redhead's lap in the last few minutes. “Someone else has news!”

“He’s pregnant?” Ray asked without missing a beat.

“No!”

“One day,”

“Caiti, I don’t think you understand how the male body works,”

“I meant you can have kids other ways,”

Gavin opened his mouth to reply but Geoff cut him off. “Just fucking tell us!”

“I’ll be officially joining you guys in the fall,” he tried to sound nonchalant but he was grinning before he was even done speaking. Jack couldn’t even blink before chairs were being pushed around and people were rushing over to hug and congratulate him “Watch the hair!” he squeaked.

“You should’ve called us!” Geoff whacked his arm.

“Asshole didn’t even tell me until like twenty minutes ago,” Michael added, ruffling Gavin’s hair up.

“It’s not a big deal,”

“Gavin, it’s the start of the rest of our lives!” Ray sang.

“You guys are dorks,”

“We’re proud of you though,” Jack added, getting up to hug him when everyone else started settling back down.

“Thanks,” he blushed. “Anyone else have news?” he asked looking at Ryan, Ray, Jack and Caiti.

“I leave Tuesday?” she offered.

“Boo, I want good news! You ruined it,” he threw the lighter they had used earlier at her.

“Ryan and I are adopting a baby,” Ray deadpanned earning strange looks from everyone, including his boyfriend.

“Not for many more years,” Ryan said quickly before they could start yelling and attracting attention from their parents.

“Any real news?”

“Nope,” Ray shrugged.

“Alright then,”

“What now?” Michael asked looking at Geoff.

“Guys, we’re at our graduation party. Do something fun,” he said like it was obvious. Jack supposed it was.

“I mean, I’m not about to bust a move in front of my parents,” Ryan said tugging at the collar of his shirt.

“If music is played you are,” Ray argued.

“Guys,” Gavin started seriously. “Let’s just like… talk or something,”

“We have been,”

“I mean, like… no dancing, no yelling and all that. Let’s just talk about the fact that high school is over or something,”

“Again, we have been,”

“Okay, Ryan what was your favorite thing about high school?”

“Not the food,” he rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, hopefully college food is better,”

“What did you actually like though?”

“I mean… it was high school. We woke up way too early and had to learn about a bunch of crap that we didn’t like. What was there to like?” he said seriously. Gavin glared at him before moving on.

“What about you, Ray?”

“Ryan pretty much summed it up,” he shrugged.

“You’re all hopeless,”

“That’s not all it was,” Geoff said quietly.

“Care to elaborate?” Ryan asked with a raised brow.

“It was fucking shitty, but he were in it together and that was nice,” he smiled sadly.

“And now we get to do it all over again!” Caiti clapped.

“Oh goodie,” Ryan sighed. “I’m signing up for all afternoon classes,”

“You’ll never go,”

“I’ll never go in the morning if I’m exhausted,” he countered.

“Looks like you’ll be the first to flunk out then,”

“If any of us are going to flunk out it’s gonna be me,” Ray said proudly.

“No one is flunking out,” Griffon warned. “I swear to God, we are having study nights every week,”

“What if we have no homework?” he offered.

“In college?”

“Fair enough,”

“We barely survived high school,” Michael whined.

“You guys all suck,” Geoff huffed. “Why are we already planning on failing and studying all the time. It’s summer! Enjoy it,”

“To summer!” Jack said holding his nearly empty glass of champagne up. The others followed suit and then they were drinking down the rest but Geoff still held his empty glass up after.

“To graduating!”

“To Geoff and Griffon’s engagement!” Ray added.

“To Gavin getting into college!” Caiti chimed in.

“To friendship!” Griffon yelled.

“You guys are just making shit up now,” Ryan laughed.

“To us!” Michael stuck his tongue out at him.

“You guys are losers!” Gavin shook his head.

“I love you guys,” Geoff said softly. There were tears beginning to form in his eyes but he blinked them away and grinned at all of them. “My favorite part of high school was you guys,”

There was an oddly serious air around them now, like they knew that this was the start of something huge. Their lives.

Jack reached out and took Caiti’s hand and when he looked at Ryan next to him he noticed that he was holding Ray a little closer as well.

“It was hard as fuck,” Ray breathed, “but I had you guys and that was pretty fucking awesome,”

“Yeah, I probably would’ve dropped out if it wasn’t for all of you,” Geoff admitted and at the glare Griffon sent him he smiled sheepishly. “Mainly you,”

“A huh,” she nodded.

“I’m glad none of us had to move away or got into some big fight that made us stop talking,” Gavin added.

“We had a few close calls though,” Ryan said looking pointedly at the Brit and his boyfriend.

“You’re no better!” Michael pointed out.

“I didn’t say I was,”

“It was implied,”

“Lies,”

“Guys!” Jack clapped. “Happy thoughts!”

“Yeah, it’s been a long day and our parents have been patiently waiting to start giving us presents and pinch our cheeks a few more times,” Griffon pointed over to where their parents were sitting, gifts littering the table in front of them, and chatting absentmindedly.

“Yeah, we should probably go celebrate with them,”

“Let’s party!” Ray shouted earning cheers from the others.

Jack laughed and moved to follow them over to his back porch, when he heard a soft voice behind him.

“Think we’ll all be together forever?” Gavin was asking Michael, bent close.

“Gavin, we talk about this after every school year,” he smiled.

“I know, but it’s different now. This is college, frats and work and stress,”

“Gavin, we all love each other. We’ll always be together,”

“Promise?”

“Always,” he leaned in to kiss Gavin on the nose and Jack turned away.

Gavin brought up some good points. They would definitely start getting roped into the party life and they’d all be overly stressed nearly every day, that was just college in a nutshell, but they knew each other’s strengths and weaknesses and he had complete faith in them.

“Always,” he whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided I'd leave some fun facts for you all here.  
> Michael was going to be the one hopelessly in love with Gavin but I changed my mind.  
> Caiti wasn't going to show up until Senior year.  
> Ray and Ryan weren't going to break up for another few chapters.  
> I have a short 4 chapter sequel planned out, just to kinda show where they all end up and all that stuff but I don't know when it will be done since I haven't started it yet.  
> I hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
